Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.
Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)
requested : yep
pairing : connor murphy x reader
warnings : suicide plan mention
additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog
Bored. Bored. Bored.
Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.
You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.
I have to get this
off my chest before
I straighten every crooked object
offensive clutter distraction
nervous as fuck
I’ll pull out every hair
or tear my fingers off
If I don’t figure out how to look
in your eyes
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I can’t remember anything before you
I can’t imagine anything without you
I want to live the rest of my life with you
But only if you think I’m cool
We should just kill ourselves
‘Interesting,‘ You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’
This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.
At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.
According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read.
He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.
Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month.
And then it all comes crashing down.
One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago.
this is not going to be a great week
or year or life
or anything inbetween
i thought for a millisecond
that i had found a friend
a kindred spirit
but you fucking tore it up
fuck you, E.H.
your friend too
go ahead and laugh
laugh all you want
but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?
This poem…was not like the others.
This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.
You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.
#suicide plan #goodbye
Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically
hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out
please please don’t kill yourself
I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry
You wait, terrified, for a response.
There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.
After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.
I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…
You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply.
OH thank god I thought that you had…
Are you okay??
thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry
actually…i feel much better.
thanks for, you know.
I’m [y/n] btw
thats creepy oh my god;sorry
it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill
so this might sound weird but ????
i just looked over your account and wanted to know
well you know
want to talk more???
wow im??? Really???
yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,
id love to !!!!
You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.
do you think, like…
well ever get to meet each other??
imean you’re a really great friend now and???
id like to meet you.
but we live like eight hours away from each other…
ill drive to you!
calm down, connor…lmao
we don’t want you burning out on the way
:( I don’t even know what you look like…
i don’t know what you look like either! XD
if I send you a picture of me
will you do the same?
me.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,
YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF I THINK IM IN LOVE
id prefer handsome but I’ll take it
your turn, missy.
YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE???
WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IM-
no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?
no way you’re fucking adorable
i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker
we should swap phone numbers
oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]
my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX
saved and I just texted you too :)
'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis?
dude you’re just,,,
thats really fucking cute
wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???
because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend
you’re literally all I have, [y/n]
you’re my best friend too!!
i really wish i could meet you…
me too…hold on a sec
connor??? you okay???
my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer.
i fucking hate her sometimes
but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.
As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.
And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.
You were in love with him.
Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?
…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.
You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.
“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.
“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.
“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”
“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.
“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.
“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.
“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.
Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.
To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.
You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired.
“I should go soon.” He says drowsily.
“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”
“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”
You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.
A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.
i love you too!!!!