if this gets a lot of notes ill cry real tears

me-a-hopeless-romantic  asked:

Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.

Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)


requested : yep
prompt: n/a
pairing : connor murphy x reader
warnings : suicide plan mention
additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog


Bored. Bored. Bored.

Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.

You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.   

dark-aesthetic🔃connor-fvckng-mvrphy 

I have to get this
off my chest before
I straighten every crooked object
offensive clutter distraction
OCD
nervous as fuck
I’ll pull out every hair
or tear my fingers off
If I don’t figure out how to look
in your eyes
without screaming

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I can’t remember anything before you
I can’t imagine anything without you
I want to live the rest of my life with you

But only if you think I’m cool
We should just kill ourselves

‘Interesting,‘ You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’

This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.


At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.

According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read. 

He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.

Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month. 

And then it all comes crashing down.

One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago. 

connor-fvcking-mvrphy 

this is not going to be a great week
or year or life
or anything inbetween
i thought for a millisecond
that i had found a friend
a kindred spirit
but you fucking tore it up

fuck you, E.H.
your friend too
go ahead and laugh
laugh all you want
but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?

goodbye

You’re worried.

This poem…was not like the others.

This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.

You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.

#suicide plan #goodbye

Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically

you
hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out
please please don’t kill yourself
I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry

You wait, terrified, for a response.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three,

four,

five.

There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.

After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
im flattered
I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…

You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply. 

you
OH thank god I thought that you had…
Are you okay??
thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
im fine
actually…i feel much better.
thanks for, you know.
caring.

you
Anytime!
I’m [y/n] btw

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
connor

you
i know
thats creepy oh my god;sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill

you
:)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
so this might sound weird but ????
you’re…pretty cool.
i just looked over your account and wanted to know
well you know
want to talk more???

you
wow im??? Really???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,

you
id love to !!!!


You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
do you think, like…
well ever get to meet each other??
imean you’re a really great friend now and???
id like to meet you.

you
i wish
but we live like eight hours away from each other…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
ill drive to you!

you
calm down, connor…lmao
we don’t want you burning out on the way

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
:( I don’t even know what you look like…

you
i don’t know what you look like either! XD

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
shit well
if I send you a picture of me
will you do the same?

you
sure ig

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
me.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,

you
WHOA
YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF I THINK IM IN LOVE

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
id prefer handsome but I’ll take it
your turn, missy.

you
hnnghhh okay
bewarnedIlooklikeapotato.jpg

connor-fvckng-mvrphy

holy shit

you
bad???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE???
WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IM-

you
no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
no way you’re fucking adorable
i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker


 connor-fvckng-mvrphy
we should swap phone numbers

you
and skype??

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
fuck yeah

you
oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX

you
saved and I just texted you too :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis?
dude you’re just,,,
thats really fucking cute

you
wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend

you
best friend??
awww connor!!!

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
yeah yeah
you’re literally all I have, [y/n]

you
you’re my best friend too!!
i really wish i could meet you…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy 
me too…hold on a sec

you
connor??? you okay???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer.
i fucking hate her sometimes

you
do you?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
…no
but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.

you
*internet hug*

connor-fvckng-mvrphy
Fuck…that’s cute.


 As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.

And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?

…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.

You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.

“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.

“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.

“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.

“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.

“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.

“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.

Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.

To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.

You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired. 

“I should go soon.” He says drowsily. 

“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”

“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”

You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.

A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.

you
i love you too!!!!

Angst Management

(Want more? Check out my Writing tag!)

Angst in fiction–and especially in roleplay–is one of those things that gets misused or played for melodrama so often that I’m lead to believe that a lot of people have pretty much given up on attempting to use it. After all, the way most people use angst in roleplay is to draw attention or sympathy to themselves, and the people who use angst poorly end up grinding said attention and sympathy into a nice little line of dust so they can snort it like the addicts they are.

And it doesn’t need to be like that. Angst is a tool. At it’s heart, it’s an emotion. It’s a feeling of unfocused anxiety or despair about one’s circumstances, and it can be done well.

The core of this is to avoid repetitive angst at all costs. Angst, like anything in writing, gets incredibly boring when the only thing that happens is angst. When the character reacts to everything with angst.

The thing that makes common “angst” annoying to deal with is that it never fucking stops. I’m sure everyone can think of a some examples they’ve encountered at one point, who have a button called “create angst, generate sympathy” and then just push that button over and over again.

The emo character who is angsty about everything, from world hunger to stubbing his toe on the coffee table. 

The somehow-demure female who’s history is apparently nothing but torture and mayhem (which comes up every single fucking time she gets sad about something). 

The hardened mercenary character who distrusts the things everyone around them says–not because it makes sense, but because I have a dark past so I can’t believe anyone anymore.

The female character being surrounded by dozens and dozens of different men telling her over and over that she’s beautiful and she believes none of them so once again they must tell her so she disbelieves them so they reassure her and the circle just keeps fucking going and WOMAN I AM GOING TO GNAW YOUR GODDAMN FACE OFF SO AT LEAST YOU WILL ASK IF SKELETOR LOOKS MORE ATTRACTIVE ARGHHGHGHRTHRGH

No.

Stop.

Get some help.

Angst is at its most boring and intolerable when it’s redundant

So how do we avoid this? Well, a couple of ways. 

Keep reading

Son of a Mafia Part 5

It’s Pidge’s turn! And thank you to a certain user ThtoneGal66 on Ao3! They heavily inspired this chapter and inspired an alternate ending and a whole new chapter that was never planned in the series with their through, beautifully supportive, and detailed comment that lifted my spirits and watered my crops. Thank you so much starling. You have no idea how much you’ve affected me with your kindness. Thank you so much.

This is for you. I hope you enjoy it as much as you have the rest :)

(Hope I answered some of you theories too :)



       The hierarchies of the mafia were honestly pretty complex. Lance had to admit it. His family was very liberal and open minded. Having six daughters of varying degrees of sexuality and one son who didn’t care if what he wore was girly or if who he kissed wasn’t a girl tended to do that to their family.

Keep reading

Dissecting Depression and Dear Evan Hansen

How do I even begin with this masterpiece? I’m already warning you, this will be a long post. This won’t be a review per se but rather an in-depth analysis of the musical from a person who has been in Evan’s shoes in more ways than one: alone, anxious, and invisible. Of course, this is about the show and how it moved me and hopefully, it can attest how socially relevant and impactful Dear Evan Hansen is to everyone – to the depressed, to the stronger ones, and to the ones who are just getting by. Let’s start with the 2 main themes.

Social Anxiety

The main character and the namesake of the play suffers from social anxiety and is getting the “right” treatment through therapy and medication. But while receiving professional treatment, he still shows signs that he’s given up on himself through a suicidal attempt and even by simply not wanting to order delivery with the fear of having a conversation. Social anxiety doesn’t seem like a big deal until you’ve stepped into depression – which most types of anxiety lead to. I also believe that the show is far from one dimensional because it just doesn’t show 2 people suffering, but it shows how every character is suffering and how some are surviving it. The show depicts the effects of suicide and depression not only to the victim but to everyone they knew or might have known.

Social Media

The show incorporated the power and the dark side of social media with such a pressing and controversial issue of suicide. It makes the show even more relevant through the technology and the phenomenon commonly seen in the younger generation today. The hunger for virality is also shown here as a positive tool for charity but like everything, it comes with a price in the form of backlash. The backlash might not be directed to the Connor Project members but it goes to show that social media can target anyone and it can turn people like the Murphy family from a victim of mental illness to a victim of bullying. On the brighter side, it can show people who are struggling that they are not alone, that there are people like them and understand them, and that there are people to help them.


Let’s proceed to talk about the wonderful characters here. I honestly loved everyone and everyone served a purpose.

Alana

I almost hated this character. I thought she was a narcissist who takes every opportunity and makes it about her, just like how Evan saw her. As the show progressed, it showed her passion and just like anyone else she feels unimportant, hence her defense mechanism – why else would she have a minor reprise of Waving Through a Window if she didn’t empathize? She is also an important character in Evan’s journey, she represents that your lies catch up on you and your action have consequences may it be through external factors or not.

Jared

I absolutely loved this character. Apart from being the best comic relief since Elder Cunningham, he’s basically the voice of reason, the slap of reality. He wants to reason with Evan but fails since at one point even if he won’t admit it, Evan is his only friend and he’s his. He also symbolizes tough love, and sometimes even if you don’t want someone to be frank with you, it’s exactly what you need. He is also someone who wants to belong somewhere, somehow even if he doesn’t know how (Sincerely Me Reprise) – he just represses it through sarcasm like many of us do.

The Murphys

This family represents different ways people show grief and handle someone with a mental illness. Cynthia represents love and acceptance to the point of being an enabler, Larry shows love through authority and choosing the harder but the best way he knows how (Break in a Glove). They also show the stereotypical but nevertheless true way of how a mom grieves in tears and a dad in denial until they’ve both come to terms with their loss. Zoe is the spectator sister; she saves herself by distancing herself and her feelings from the situation and ultimately, Connor to the extent of hate and apathy (Requiem). Lastly, we have Connor who is a complete mystery. He is mystery itself; sometimes we don’t get the answers, sometimes we’re left hanging, sometimes we just don’t know – it doesn’t make any of it, okay but it’s the reality of the situation. There are unanswered questions – did Evan’s letter trigger Connor to commit suicide? We’ll never know.

Heidi

I relate to Heidi so much because she reminds me of my mom. Her sacrifices have a price but sacrifices still have to be made to survive – it was her only option. She knew Evan in a different way than anyone else, the way a mom only knows, it’s instinctive even is she’s not around. She treated him as something to be “fixed” because he is – he’s suicidal and she will not have the only good thing in her life be taken away by the thoughts in his head. It’s why she pushes Evan’s therapy, his meds, his letters, she needed to help him even if she doesn’t know how (Anybody Have a Map?). She’s also a great reminder that even if you’re suffering, you’re not the only one that’s hurting and how your illness is not an excuse to be an asshole, and how when you’re hurting, the people around you are hurting with you (So Big / So Small).

Evan

Evan is such a complex character which makes him a great lead. He has suffered but it doesn’t cleanse him of his sin. Is there a method to the madness? Yes. You can blame him but you can’t say that you could’ve done better if you were in his situation. We can all relate to him, we all lie to be happy? We all lie to ourselves. He wants to get better but he shuts his mom and his only friend and only opens up to people he unconsciously thinks are worthy, the Murphys. You can argue his selfish but his letter to himself is so depressing that it passes as a suicide note. But even with all his lies, he genuinely cares for Connor of the idea of him because he’s just like him: forgettable (Disappear / You Will Be Found). It’s true, he forgets about it but don’t we forget things when we’re finally happy? (Good for You). He’s far from perfect, and we all see ourselves in him at one point. 


Dear Evan Hansen is a complete masterpiece because it took a sensitive issue and portrayed in a realistic and heartfelt way that leaves the audience not just thinking, but acting. It shows the effect of mental illness to not just the victim but everyone. It doesn’t romanticize the sickness the way Evan unknowingly does to himself (Only Us / Words Fail). Because truth be told, sometimes we are selfish and we don’t know it. It shows that the worst version of yourself is still worth loving but we should always aim to be the best versions of ourselves.

It doesn’t have a perfect role model because all of them are real people with valid feelings whether they are depressed like Evan or trying to be strong like his mom. It shows that mental illness isn’t a one-way thing, you need to accept the help you are given, you need to help yourself too. It shows all sides of the story and it doesn’t teach you to how to handle mental illness because there’s no right answer – just look at the parents in the play. Sometimes there is no right answer but it shows something more important, that there is help – accept it and there is hope whether you’re grieving or trying to get better, you are not alone – you just need to believe it.


 P.S.

Other feels:

  • They portrayed the literal use of social media really well in the play from the lighting to the digital backdrop – it’s really smart.
  • It amazes me that only 8 characters can give me a whirlwind of emotions.
  • Casting is perfect.
  • The songs are superb.
  • I started crying 10 minutes into the play.
  • You never know how profound “When you’re falling in a forest, and there’s nobody around, do you ever really crash or even make a sound?” and all reiterations of it until you’ve watched the play.
  • Don’t underestimate the power of family.
  • This is the musical I never knew I needed.
  • It’s so simple, direct, and moving.
  • “What happened?” – “You did.” You are significant. You are loved. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
  • Getting better is a two-way thing and this is the most important message this play shows.
  • Don’t romanticize your mental illness! Be part of the solution, not the problem.
  • I love how they showed Evan’s progression through his letter.
  • I love Ben Platt.
  • I still ship Zoe x Evan.
  • When you’re falling in a forest
    And there’s nobody around
    All you want is for somebody to find you !!!
Sober - Clairvoyant Disease

I don’t know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing’s real
Until you let go completely

Today was the day you were being released.

Twelve weeks since you’d voluntarily checked yourself in.

Twelve weeks since you’d lain in the bath tub and made the split second decision to slit your wrists.

Twelve weeks since you’d yelled for your boyfriend after almost immediately regretting it, the look on his face as he barged into the bathroom one you’ll never ever forget. You could replay the thirty minutes that followed over and over in your head. Spencer grabbing for towels and wrapping them around your arms as tightly as he could whilst you waited for the ambulance to arrive, him dragging you out of the bath tub as you both cried. The constant asking of ‘why’ from him, a question which ultimately you couldn’t answer. In that split second it had seemed like the way out, a way to be done with the never ending cycle of depression that you lived. A way to never have to rely on pills and medication again. A way to never feel that low again.

So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

You’d passed out in the ambulance from the loss of blood and when you woke up, you were lying in a hospital bed, your wrists heavily bandaged, Spencer sitting at the side of the bed.

He stared at you and you stared back, not knowing what to say.

“Why?” he asked you again.

“Because I didn’t want to have to cope anymore,” was the only response you could give.

Spencer stood up and left the room then and you didn’t see him for the next seventy two hours. You didn’t blame him. You didn’t hate him for walking out. Faced with a similar scenario and you’d have probably done the same.

You did see Hotch though. Spencer had called him and he’d come down the hospital straight away. It was Aaron that sat with you when you told the doctors how you’d misplaced your pills, it was Aaron who held you whilst you cried as you talked about the burning desire you’d had to feel the slice of the razor blade again, just so you could see the blood and know that you were actually still alive rather than just some empty shell which is how you’d felt. It was Aaron who convinced you to sign in to voluntary rehab, where you’d stay for three months to undergo counselling, counselling you’d always opted out of before, preferring to just pop the little white pills daily. It was also Aaron who went to Spencer’s apartment before and after every visit to you those few days before before Reid came back.

Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it’s never really over

The twelve weeks you’d spent in this place had been helpful. You’d rested, slept a lot; recovering from the mental exhaustion that your mind had put itself through. You’d talked to doctors and counsellors, opened up in a group, something you never saw yourself doing.

You still didn’t know what ultimately lay behind the incessant sadness you felt sometimes, but they helped you realise that sometimes there simply was no reason for it, it was just the way some people were wired. It wasn’t a bad thing, everyone was different and unique in their own minds.

What you were reminded of though was that you needed to stay on your medication and if you misplaced the pills, you needed to get a refill straight away. Your doctor had told you that although many people do eventually come off antidepressants, it’s a slow process with the dosage being reduced bit by bit. To go from taking pills daily to not taking anything had set off the chemical reaction in your brain. It was the withdrawal, the doctor had told you, that had pushed your hand to your wrist. Not you actually wanting to die.

I don’t know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me

Ultimately though, you saw this as your cry for help. A ridiculously loud cry.

Spencer had been allowed to visit you, apologising for leaving you in the hospital. You shrugged the apologies off, you understood. He was here now, that was all that mattered.

You talked to him, told him of your long journey down the dark path of depression and self harm. And he listened, never interrupting you once. It took hours, a story told over days, sometimes you’d sit and stare at him not even finding the words to be able to describe how you’d felt. When you finished he simply took your hands into his and raised them to his lips, kissing your still bandaged wrists.

“There’s no words I can ever say to take away what you’ve been feeling, what you’ve felt. There’s no words I can say to chase away the shadows that fill your mind, to chase away whatever demons scream so loudly in your ears sometimes. Just remember though, that when you feel like you’re walking through hell, I will take your hand and I will walk through the fire with you. Talk to me. Don’t keep it locked away.”

You’d nodded and collapsed in his arms, yours tears mingling with his.

So I won’t worry about my timing I wanna get it right
No comparing
Second guessing
No, not this time

You WOULD make the effort to talk to him in the future. You didn’t want to block him out, you didn’t want to feel like you were cutting him out of a part of your life. Because this was part of you, it always would be. You’d just been scared, scared that once he knew how bad things could get that he’d run.

You should have known better really.

Three months and I’m still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It’s never really over, no

Today, Aaron and Spencer were coming to collect you. Today, you were going home and Spencer was coming with you. You’d originally agreed to stay for eight weeks but had extended your stay to twelve. You wanted to be absolutely certain that you were ready, that you’d re-learnt your coping techniques, that your dosage was correct.

You wanted to make sure that you could leave this place and not end up back there in two weeks time because being out in the real world and dealing with life was too much for you.

You wanted to make sure that you were ready to wake up again and live your life again. To embrace your life again.

Three months and I’m still standing here
Three months and I’m getting better yeah
Three months and I still am

When you collected your belongings from your room, packing the bits and pieces that had been bought into you on numerous visits, you knew the time was right. You wanted the fresh air, you wanted to be able to go where you wanted, when you wanted.

When you saw both men standing in the waiting room for you, you knew that you were ready. You knew they would help you if you opened up to them. Even if all they could do was to listen and to assure you over and over again that whatever you were feeling, wasn’t right. That you weren’t worthless, that you WERE loved. That you were justified.

That you were alive.

Three months and I’m still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up

When you walked towards you boyfriend and your boss…your friend even, you didn’t look back.

Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

°°°
A/N: Okay so lengthy authors note.

I don’t want people to read this story and to think that they need someone else to save them, because that’s not how it works. A good support system is incredibly helpful when dealing with any mental illness, but that support system doesn’t necessarily need to come from a loved one. You do not need a Spencer Reid or an Aaron Hotchner to save you.

Only you can do that.

If you are feeling low, if you are feeling that the world is too much for you, please talk to someone, anyone. There are resources available to you, it’s just finding the courage to make that call. To tell someone that you don’t feel okay.

Needing any form of therapy whether it be cognitive, medicinal, simply just talking, does not make you weird. It does not make you a failure. It does not make you a burden. It does not make you not “normal.”

Because what the fuck even is normal?

Let me also say that you do not need to have been abused to have a mental illness. You do not need to have suffered some terrible life tragedy. You do not need to come from a broken home.

Anyone can have a mental illness. Anyone can be depressed. Anyone can feel like the only way out is suicide.

But it isn’t. I assure you, it isn’t.

Help is there for you. And there is NOTHING wrong with you for asking for it.

Tumblr - Girl (Part 1)

Tumblr - Girl (Series)

Part 2
Masterlist


Pairing: Misha Collins x reader

Summary: You post on your tumblr after a panic attack, not knowing if you would get an answer

Word Count: 1.736

Warnings: panic attack, angst, swearing, mental illness, depression, maybe fluff (I’m really not good at this!)

Notes: it is my first fanfic and I am not a English native speaker so please don’t hate me

Your POV

“Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.” you said to yourself. You felt the beginning panic attack, your pulse increased, tears welled up in your eyes and you your lungs couldn’t get enough air. “Breathe out. Breathe in.” you continued your mantra. Your whole body was shaking, but you knew it would eventually get better. After a few minutes of just breathing your body calmed down and you took your phone to distract yourself. There was not a lot going on on tumblr but you just scrolled through your dashboard, multiple times you saw postings about the unbelievable support from the SPNfamily and how they cared about their “family members”. You considered yourself as a family member since quite a long time and you often posted help-seeking texts, but not one time you got an answer to those. You just were not important, to anybody, nobody wants to talk to you. Tears started welling up again and you sobbed quietly. Before you knew what you were doing you typed a short text:

Keep reading

Every Single Time - Alex Nylander #2

Originally posted by nhlinfluenced

about/request: First, you’re a great writer and I love you! 💕💕however, I’m not sure how comfortable you are with talking about like anxiety, depression and other major illnesses but if you are could you do a William or Alex Nylander one where the reader has both previously stated mental illnesses and completely breaks down when she finds out her mother has Cancer? It’s super heavy but you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to. It’s pretty relevant for me though. Thank you!

warnings: a lot of sadness and mentions of anxiety, depression, and cancer

authors note: thank you thank you thank you so much, for real i am blessed. i actually love writing deeper stuff like this so i will always accept! i chose alex just because i have like 13589 will requests and wanted to change it up but you’ve got some mentions of will in there too!! i hope this was good, and what you wanted, and also that you’re good and chill and everything is ok with you, love!!! ps i literally cried writing this and gave it some fluff at the end because i was dying ok.

word count: 1035

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anonymous asked:

Another character besides Komaeda that people (unfairly, in my opinion) compare with Ouma is Hiyoko in that they're both bratty, "sadistic" and child-like. Would you like to talk about their differences or similarities? Thank you!

Oh, this is a really fun question! I’ve seen people compare Ouma and Saionji too for some time now, and while I think there are a handful of surface-level similarities, there are plenty of differences as well.

In many ways, Ouma’s resemblances to Saionji are much like his resemblance to Celes. While they seem to act or behave similarly, they’re far too different at their core to actually get along, in my opinion. Even their bonus mode interactions (there’s at least one in Ouma’s route, and another in Saionji’s where the two of them interact along with Mikan), it seems as though while they have similar interests and behaviors, they’re not really similar enough to get along or befriend each other.

Saionji and Ouma are both two of the more childish characters in DR, it’s true. But it’s also true that there’s a world of difference as to why they act so childishly.

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Sunday 21st of May 2017

So i’d like to apologise in advance for the state of this recap as i was crying through out entire act 3 and 4 and the fact that most of my attention went to Jamie. However, im gonna try anyway and some facts are derived from things i heard others say.

The emotions started already with the opening music and the potters arriving on stage. I nearly lost it at the sight of them but managed to contain myself. During scene two, were Noma was apparently crying already and had to turn around to compose herself (i missed this bc the too busy staring at jamie part) And i got the feeling that jamie and poppy were holding each other more firmly here.

Then enter scorpius. I had never seen James as Scorpius before so that took a bit to getting used to, but she had me in tears during the scene where astoria died, which had never ever happened before. I just broke there, which resulted into my first tears of the day.

Upon act six i started to realise that Jamie pulled of his glasses to wipe at his eyes a lot. I thought it mightve been me but it kept on going and others seemed to have picked up on it too. I guess he was really emotional, but then again, the entire theatre was. During this scene sam actually also fell of the stairs when Delphi came in, which i had never seen to this extent before, but it definitely made for a good scene.

During the next scenes the emotions even came more apparent, when it came to the nightmares and the way jamie reacted after the famous line about albus being his son. He seemed more hurt and seemed to plead even more emotionally than he did before and that carried through to the next scenes and jamie seemed sad and with his mind there a bit even still at the extraordinary wizarding meeting.

The polyjuice scene was brilliant and got massive, massive cheers. Jamie absolutely killed it and i loved the look on his face when Ron/albus started going on about a baby. It was really obvious he both did not want to be there and was also surprised about the turn of events and i dont think ive ever seen him bolt away from that so fast. And then during the riddle part themselves… they all were glorious. Jamie fucking killed it. The happy and high notes he made when speaking aa scorpius… it was again a sight to behold.

Act two had jamie being more emotional during nightmare scènes again than i ever saw him before and it was really painful to watch because you could actually feel his pain. It was terrible and all i wanted to do was hug the man.
I also happened to notice jamie kept holding his wand in his right hand, but did it with his left at the end of part 2. I wonder what that all is about…
Anyway jamie got me all to the point of tears again when hé was with albus in the hospital wing, which actually didnt help much at all because james was full on crying at points during the staircase ballet which had be bloody crying all over again. SHe really hit me there and it was just painful to watch.

The audience had to laugh when alex was smiling about harry doing most of the cooking, but it was really funny to watch because jamie was looking over at him like ‘what?’.
But then james played it up again in the libary and the entire rant about his mother had multiple people sniffing if the sounds in the audience where anything to go by. You could really feel the pain she was projecting. It was amazing.

Noma and Paul on the staircases were just really sweet and yet again i thought that there was going to be a kiss but unfortunately that didnt happen :(

Enter annabel. Annabel has been fucking nailing it as both Delphi and myrtle so im very glad shes staying on. Today she was myrtle again and she really pulled it out of the park, especially when she said the line about being impartial about a certain Malfoy and the reaction she had to both draco and harry. She completely stole the scene to the point that i was not watching jamie as much (which probably says a lot) And when the scene ended and the lake scene went up a massive cheer came from the audience for her performance. And with massive i mean massive.

Before act three i hardly saw people who werent hugging and crying and bring all sort of emotional. For me it felt like huge weight was pressed on my chest and that was the moment i knew i was not gonna be fine. Sure enough, within the first seconds of act three i was a blubbering mess and that did not stop until it was over.

James killed it in the alternate reality and the tears really started to flow when it came to astoria again. It looked like Paul bentall was honest to god crying when it came to the lily ,mention as his shoulders seemed to be shaking and then the following was just as emotional (even though the audience got yet again to laugh at nomas giggle and pauls the universe rests on neville line).

The romione kiss was the best one i had seen up until then and it was a shame when the dementors came bc i really thought it mightve gotten heated. James seemed to be crying or near tears again after having witnessed it all and snape got one massive cheer after he got rid of umbridge. Like truly massive. I think he changed his line a bit there too but im not entirely certain there.

James was amazing when everything got back to normal and there were massive laughs when hé adressed them all.
But then the scene with mcg. Poppy seemed to be comforting noma and then i cried even harder between cherelle and noma because it was so emotional and i think noma was crying and cherelle maybe too and gooood. Ive never seen it played so well.
Meanwhile jamie got me in tears the following two scènes and i think he was starting to lose it there because he pulled off his glasses so much.

CUE ACT THREE SCENE SEVENTEEN. I think every romione shipper loves it because of the entire renewal part and they took it up big time yesterday. First we got to laugh about the Ron being drunk line and then Paul went fucking down on one knee when hé threw out the line, which got massive whoops from the entire audience. The kiss was also a sight to behold. What a kiss.

The crucio scene was really painful to watch too. It was horrid to see them all in pain and then they threw it up a notch when craig died, with james actually pressing her face to the floor.

Cut to extraordinary meeting second go around.
This was truly hard. Noma was choking up on her last lines here with Paul comforting her. She could hardly get her lines out as she was so emotional and that made it really painful to watch. It caused many people to tear up again if the sniffing was anything to go by.
Aand then jamie and dumbledore. Ill never not get emotional at that and even when draco entered later i was still in full cry mode while jamie took forever to put his glasses back on his face.

The help shouting part was brilliant as always and then back to Jamie and poppy bc yknow, my attention. When jamie said the line about the shrine poppy honest to god seemed close to tears. She managed to compose herself enough but the emotions on her face were absolutely real. The kiss was absolutely intense too. Fuck i love their chemistry so much.

Godrics Hollow Time! Alex once again got the audience in stitches with his farmers market comment and then when they all got into the right time and poppy was running up to albus i swear she was crying. It was so hard to watch and james and alex also seemed to be hugging so hard.
Poppy remained an emotional mess during the Church scene and there was a really tight hug between her and jamie where poppy was crying after she told him that she was happy to discuss just how lucky he was.

And then the last scenes… they were all messes when it came to jily. James was standing there shocked with his mouth open and jamie was yet again held upright until lily died and he collapsed to the floor. And the scene after that he literally did not stop crying still. Kept wiping his nose and eyes and then sam was starting to get emotional too.
I was literally crying so hard because of that i was unable to scream at all until cherelle came up, visibly crying, and when i thought the audience could not possibly get louder than they already were they proved me wrong when the Final five came up. The cheers were massive. Wands went up in the air. The cast was crying. They came back three or four times for applause and then it was a mad dash to stagedoor.

I wont say much about that, aside from the fact that when secufity told people at the front jamie was coming a cheer went up so loud we at the back wonderen what was going on until word travelled and we got news jamie was on his way - proven one minute later when hé and noma jogged around to our end to start with us so we wouldnt have to wait as long. The cheers for him went wild and werent even as loud for jack and John who showed up for stagedoor as well.

All in all it was one massive show and i was so glad i flew out for it again. I wouldnt have missed it for the world and im gonna miss this cast so much.

Thanks for everything. Thanks for portraying the characters so Dear to our hearts so well and went above and beyond with them. Thank you for this experience. Thank you.

anonymous asked:

#15. "So, I found this waterfall…” Please. :D

Sorry, this took so long…I hope you like it! It’s different…

_______________

Summary: For years, they were the voice in each other’s heads. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark find love and friendship through an unusual connection.

Katniss Everdeen was six when she first heard his voice.

Her father had just died, leaving her grief-stricken mother to be the head of their home and Katniss as her one-year-old sister’s caretaker. Immediately after the funeral, Deanna Everdeen was back in her waitress uniform, giving her daughters each a kiss atop their heads and letting them know that there were leftovers from the wake in their fridge.

It was a good thing that Prim was such an easy-going baby. Katniss could simply set out a blanket in the field behind their small home and let the toddler crawl about. She watched her sister for a moment; the blonde cherub giving her toothy smile before plopping herself on her knees to explore.

Laying back, Katniss’ eyes wandered to sky. Was her father in heaven? The minister had talked about her father being in heaven, regaling the mourners with Chris Everdeen’s many achievements as head of the District 12 engineering team. He was a great boss, a loving husband, and doting father.

She guessed that didn’t mean anything when death came swooping in.

Katniss couldn’t cry out loud so she let herself sob and scream in her mind until she felt raw.

Why are you crying?

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DeanCas Coda to 11x06: Our Little World.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Castiel looks back at the screen, re-settling on his chair. His fingers itch and he’s beginning to sweat, but he keeps his eyes front, praying to get lost in the frivolity he’s currently indulging in. He can’t see those things if he’s numbly invested and immersed in—

“Aw man, not this again.” Like he owns the space, Dean swaggers into the room and frowns at the screen, shaking his head. “Cas, c’mon, man, we’ve talked about this: Game of Thrones! Breaking Bad! What happened to The Wire?”

Cas shrugs, refusing to meet green eyes. “I decided to take a break.”

“A break?” Dean asks, incredulous. “So you could binge this crap?”

“If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

A frown. “No,” Dean replies stubbornly. He throws himself onto Castiel’s bed, making himself at home and squinting at the TV. It’s silent for a blessed few moments before the hunter is speaking again: “So, uh, what’s with the cold shoulder?”

At this, Cas does turn, but Dean is staring resolutely at the television. Fine. “How long have we known each other, Dean?” He knows he sounds testy, but Castiel honestly can’t help it—Dean Winchester can be so incredibly frustrating.

Green eyes meet blue, the former’s brows raising in confusion. “Uh… ‘bout eight years. Why?”

“Eight years,” Cas repeats. His fingers dig into the wooden arms of his chair. “In all that time, do you not think I’ve learned to tell if you’re lying?”

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Home Alone Tonight. Chapter 1

Warning! This story is rated M for foul language, sexual content, and adult situations. This is a NALU story, so keep that in mind while reading. This story is inspired by Luke Bryan’s ‘Home Alone Tonight’. The first time I listened to the song I immediately thought of Natsu and Lucy and wanted to bring that to life. I hope you enjoy this story, and as always, I do not own Fairy Tail.

Summary:  For the past few years, Natsu’s been dealing with his broken heart. He tries to drown his pain through unhealthy activities, but all it leaves him with is a string of failed relationships and a lot of drunken nights at the bar. He’s been a wreck ever since she left. How will he deal with her return, when his heart is still mangled? Inspired by the Luke Bryan song. Modern AU. NALU

Read Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24.

Read on FF.net or AO3.

Story Cover Picture


Chapter One: Drink it all away

Natsu sighed on his way home from the gym. He had been extra hard on himself, and he was looking forward to kicking his feet up and watching tv. He couldn’t remember if he was supposed to hang out with his girlfriend tonight, but it really didn’t matter to him either way.

The pink haired man took the elevator to his apartment on the fourth floor. The motion made him slightly sick, but it was better than taking the stairs. His muscles were tense, desperately needing the relaxation that awaited him in his home.

Before he even pulled out his key to unlock his door, he noticed a folded piece of paper taped above the knob. Curious, he snatched it up, reading the message inside.

Natsu, I hate to do this through a note, but I can’t stand to be near you anymore. I’m sure you saw this coming, since you’ve been extremely distant lately. It’s not hard to tell that you’re either cheating on me, or you’re in love with someone else. Either way, it’s not my concern anymore. I hope you have a happy life, but it can’t have me in it. Thanks for the fun times. -C.

Natsu sighed as he slipped his key in, unlocking the door to enter his one bedroom apartment. He made his way straight to the kitchen’s trash can.

A pathetic laugh left his mouth. “Another one bites the dust,” he mumbled as he threw away the note. There was no point keeping it, because he wasn’t heartbroken over the breakup. It wasn’t that he was just trying to pretend like he was okay, because honestly he was fine with it. She was right, he definitely saw this coming.

She was also right about him being in love with someone else.

He was surprised she figured it out so soon though. Usually it took the girls a lot longer to find out the truth. He was usually better at hiding his real feelings. Guess the years of faking were finally wearing down on him.

He walked to his bedroom, opening the door to see the unmade, full-sized bed. Under the bed contained a box. He only allowed himself to look inside when he was single, since it felt like cheating when he peaked during a relationship.

He grabbed the wooden box, pulling it out to place on his bed. Inside contained pictures and notes. The photo on top was the hardest one to look at, because that smile tore his heart up every time he saw it.

He picked it up, bringing it to his face to glance at the blonde girl in the photo. He flipped it over, reading the back. Natsu and Lucy at graduation.

That picture was the last one he had with her, because she left shortly after. The reminder sent him into a downward spiral, teetering close to depression and self-harm. The only remedy he had wasn’t healthy, but it was legal.

“Well,” Natsu said as he put the picture back in the box. “Might as well get drunk.”

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back then

When he’s fifteen, he finds Armin.

There’s a profound sense of loss that accompanies seeing him again, but Eren’s fifteen and the words come awkwardly to him at best, as he fidgets and tries to explain the things that keep him up at night. Armin’s face is old and kindly-lined, sympathetic; he’s the seventh doctor in as many months that Eren’s mother has shuffled him to, ever since he woke up the night of his fifteenth birthday screaming at the shadows tucked into the corners of his room.

Eren wants to throw up. He hiccups instead and cries because he can’t help it, and Armin passes him tissue after tissue. It feels like it takes hours, but it’s closer to forty minutes when Armin declares their session done.

After, he hears Armin murmuring possible prognoses to his mother. “It’s like grief,” he overhears, “he acts like he’s grieving,” and other things, like delusions, confusion of self, depression. His mother is against prescriptions; he’s so young, she says, in that half-distraught tone that Eren only catches her using when she thinks he isn’t around. He doesn’t listen to anymore after that; turns up the volume on his headphones and taps his feet. 

He doesn’t close his eyes; he doesn’t like what he sees when he does.

In the car on the way home, he picks at the skin around the nail of his thumb and asks if they can try another doctor. His mother sighs, but they don’t go back.

It’s the seventh doctor in as many months, and Eren’s known them all.

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I´ll believe you next time➳Phan

Prompt: Phil gets sick and Dan doesn’t believe him.
Words: 2042(2022 with you)
Warnings:Vomiting?

Dan’s POV
“Phil, time to wake up pie” I shook him slightly. Today we had a bbc meeting with other youtubers to see what we were going to do about the show and all the details about new projects. He always wakes up before I do, but I went to bed earlier than him since we had the meeting early. Maybe he was tired from last night, we had late romantic dinner and we watched a few movies until midnight.

Phil groaned as he moved his head, maybe too tired from staying up late or something.

“Daaan, my head and tummy hurt” He complained.
“You maybe are just tired. Come on, we need to get ready.” I got up from the bed and helped him get up.

I got changed and went back to the room to see Phil on the bed again, this time rubbing his belly.
“No time to be acting Phil, this is an important meeting we have and we can’t miss it because of you playing to be sick"He said with a chuckle.
“But I think I am sick”
“Oh yeah right. Come on, get changed and hurry up” I told him. I didn’t believe him since he was complaining all week about going to the meeting, waking up too early, not being a morning person, the meeting being boring, blah blah blah.

Phil’s POV
I was feeling pretty bad. I couldn’t sleep last night and my tummy started to feel upset. Yesterday´s fancy dinner made me ill and Dan didn´t believe me when I told him. GREAT. I got changed as Dan ordered, and I told him that I was ill, but he didn’t believe me. I went to my bedroom, remembering I had some pills there. I sat down on the bed and started changing. I was going to have breakfast and make my way to the kitchen,but then I felt dizzy and went to the sofa, falling asleep instantly.

“Phil! Stop pretending! I know you are okay and that you just want to stay at home.” Dan woke me up.
I rubbed my eyes and got up. Dan served me breakfast, but I was not hungry at all. I felt bad for saying no to Dan, but I grabbed the tea and a toast he made, hoping it could help with the situation.

“Ready to leave? I already called a cab” Dan asked.
I just nodded. I wasn’t in the mood to even talk, my tummy just felt so bad that i just wanted to curl up and cuddle Dan.
“Just say yes, I know you are pretending and not sick”
We went to the elevator and went down. The elevator was moving faster than usual and I felt myself being dizzy. We got out of the building and got into the cab. My head was hurting a lot more than before. I placed my head on top of Dan’s lap, while Dan complained about me pretending.

———————————————15 minutes later————————————————
“Phil, get up, we are here already. Now, stop with your little game alright?”
“Huh?” I said confused. Did I fall asleep? If yes, how long had I been asleep for?
“Come on let’s go”

I blinked a few times, got up and hugged Dan, my eyes closed.Dan paid the man and we entered to the building, where Jim, Jack and Dean were at.

“Hello Boys!”Jim yelled(or at least, my headache made it sound like that.)
“Hi” Dan and I said at the same time. We sat down with them at this kind of lounge that was there before the office. They all were talking and laughing, my head started to hurt more and I just felt pretty bad. “Why so quiet Phil?”Dean asked.
“He has been complaining about being sick but he is just tired.”
“Has he been acting like this all day?” Jack asked.
“Yeah”
“Tickle him to see if he´s lying ot not. My mum used to do that when I was younger.

When Dan grabbed my tummy and started tickling it, he made it hurt. When I was about to complain they called us to go in and that Louise was a few minutes away from here. We got into the room and started the meeting.

A few minutes later, I wasn’t feeling well, a wave of nausea hit me awfully and I decided to go to the bathroom, only to see Louise out of the women bathroom.

“Hi Phil”She said with her eyes focused on the mirror.
I ignored completely when she started to talk to me and I ran to the closest bathroom to throw up on the bowl. I threw up last night too, taking all of my energy away. Louise left, not knowing I threw up.

Dan’s POV
Phil was going into this pretending thing too much. It was almost 1pm and he was still acting. He came back from the bathroom being too pale, was that makeup? I thought.

After the meeting, we all decided to have lunch together at Louise’s house. Jack and Dean were on Jack’s car while Louise, Phil and I were on Louise’s van. Phil fell asleep pretty fast to be honest.
“Is he ok? He looks a bit pale” Louise asked.
“He is pretending to be sick, beccause he is too tired from yesterday”
“Ya sure?”
“Yeah” I said confused. I actually thought he was acting it because of the meeting. Now that we’re over, it was weird. But I didn’t mind, maybe he was too tired, that’s all.

We got to Louise’s house and I woke up Phil.
“Phil stop sleeping, that’s enough”
“But I really don’t feel well.Besides, I was awake.”
“Right, hurry up so we can eat, I’m hungry”
Phil got up tiredly, rubbing his eyes with his fists.
“How are you capable of acting all day?”
“I’m sick” Phil whined.
“Right, keep it up and we won’t sleep together tonight!” I said sarcastically.
“But I’m being honest!”
“Enough!”
After that Phil went quiet and we entered the house. When we came in, we went to the lounge while the pizza came, Louise ordering it. Darcy came in hugging us, then noting Phil’s face pale.
“Mummy, is uncle Philly ok?”Darcy asked worriedly.
“He is playing sick according to Dan”
“Bad Philly!” Darcy told him as we all giggled.

After a few minutes of chatting, the pizza was here. We all ate and Phil, he started to look paler or maybe it was the light in the room. I asked him to eat since he said “he was ill” and it was going to make him sick.

After a few minutes of chatting and Phil having a bathroom break, we called a cab and went home.

Phil’s POV
On the way home, I was feeling worst. I was about to throw up at Louise’s house, and I almost passed out on the couch while playing with Darcy.

We were almost home, a few minutes away from the building. Then, a wave of nausea hit me amd I had to throw up. I started shivering, my head was pounding. I wanted to cry in a little ball.

We got to the building and I ran, hurried to get to the bathroom and throw up. I opened the door hurriedly and went straight to the bathroom, throwing up all the pizza I had eaten. Then I heard Dan come in.

“Phil what the fuck was that about?!” He complained as I was laying on the couch.
“I had to…”
“Enough okay? You are sleeping alone tonight, I don’t care what you think” “But…”
“No buts! You have stuff to do tomorrow and videos to film. Bed.NOW!”
He went to his bedroom and he slammed the door angrily. I grabbed a pill and a biscuit with a glass of juice, since the pill said I had to eat to take it. I really just hoped it could work.
I grabbed a blue blanket we had in the couch and wrapped it around me. I was too tired to move. My stomach was hurting, twisting and my head was pounding, but what hurted me the most was Dan yelling at me.
I threw up once again, feeling awful and cleaning my mouth wit tissues.
I started tearing up, falling asleep while crying.
———————————————4am————————————————-
I woke up to my stomach hurting, making me feel awfully sick. I got up as quickly as I could, getting dizzy and throwing up on the toilet.
I was still gagging and crying, the pain being a lot for me to handle.

Dan’s POV
I woke up because I wanted a glass of water. I walked out of the room, walking to the kitchen and noticing the bathroom light on. “What the hell?”I mumbled, confused.I went to turn the lights off, but when I entered to the room, I got to see Phil passed out, curled up in a ball next to the toilet. His face was paler and he had dark bags under his eyes. He still had his clothes from today, not even changing into pajamas or taking off his shoes.

I carried him, his head resting on my shoulder while his legs where wrapped around my torso. After going up the stairs, I saw tissues all around the hallway, making some sort of track for me to follow.I got closer and I saw a blue blanket and a bunch of tissues around it. Then, a trashcan next to him. Wasn’t he in his bedroom?. I walked and took a look on his bedroom. Everything was clean, but a bottle of pills on top of his bed.I carriedthe bottle and read it. The bottle said: Take 2 in case of headaches,migraines,temperature and diziness.

He wasn’t lying. He actually felt sick all day. I feel so bad now. He started to stir slowly, moving a little. He unconciously moved his head closer to the crook of my neck, going back to sleep. I got him to our bed, keeping him warm from being in the cold as hell bathroom. I got into bed too, and closed my eyes slowly as I cuddled Phil.

———————————————-
I woke up to Phil being still soundly asleep, cuddled up to my chest. I felt like an idiot. I yelled at him amd he had his headache and his tummy to bother him all day long. I decided to let him sleep, maybe that makes him feel better. Since it was 11, I got into the shower,ate breakfast, tweeted about his liveshow,cleaned the tissue mess, helped him with all the stuff he had to do at home and went back to the room to see him still asleep. I gave him a small kiss on his forehead, which was a bit warm. I took his temperature and yes, he had a fever. I grabbed a wet cloth and placed it on his forehead. I started editing next to him, just in case he needed anything.

———————————————3pm————————————————
Phil’s POV.
I woke up, moving across the bed. Wait bed? What? I was on the bathroom last night, what happened?
“Hey sleepyhead”Dan said while typing on his laptop.
“Morning”
“What time is it?10am?”I asked confused, my vision still normal since I slept with my contacts on.
"3pm” “What?Noon? I overslept?! I had lots of stuff to do!”
“I already did them all”
“What happened? I thought you were mad at me” I mumbled
“Last night I saw you passed out on the bathroom, paler than usual. From that minute, I knew you weren’t lying. I carried you to bed and took care of you until you woke up.Phil seriously, I’m so sorry I acted like a dick. I should’ve believed you.” I hugged him.
“Dan, it’s okay.“
“How do you feel? Want some medicine? Or are you hungry? Or to watch movies and cuddle?”
“Movies and cuddles, I wanna cuddle you so bad”
“Okay, come here” Dan said as he opened Netflix on his laptop. We decided to watch a Disney marathon, which included our favorite disney movies.

And that’s how the couple spent the day. Dan cuddling him while Phil was asleep or awake during the movies, kissing him and brushing his hair a few times.

A.N:Guys!!!!I´m literally dying! Now thanks to all of the support around I got to the crazy amount of 250 followers! I love all of you sososo much, even if you started to read my fics today, yesterday, a few minutes ago, thank you!

If you are new here, read my phanfics
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Reign 3x02

Last week I failed to write about 3x01 because I think I was in a permanent state of shock for a full week after that perfection of an episode, it still makes me cry with happiness! :’) At the Lorcisse scenes, obviously, the Frary scenes were harder to cope with than I expected, and I was prepared for real sadness- well I thought I was :’’’’’’’’’(


But this week, because of what has happened with Lorcisse, and because of the negative posts I have seen about them, I wanted to share some thoughts that will hopefully make fellow Lorcisse shippers who are a bit scared and doubtful a little more at ease. 


FIRST: Frary
Oh my gosh these two just get sadder and sadder and sadder! I genuinely cannot COPE with their scenes because they are just so beautiful but absolutely, catastrophically heartbreaking:’’’’( Every time I think about them and their situation I want to just curl up into a ball and die because it is just so unfair :’’(
      The worst thing about these two is that there is no hope because we all know Francis’s fate, and it is just so horrible to watch them so in love with each other and this illness forcing them to part. It is just too much, and too sad. S o I am sorry I cannot go on because the tears are forming. 

SECOND: Claude and Leith
I LOVE THESE TWO! They are so cute together! I love their quick, sarcastic and confrontational remarks to each other, they genuinely make me smile; I think the writers did a really good job with these two, and I just hop they continue to have some fun, because heaven knows this shows needs it!

I am just going to skip to it- 
THIRD: Lorisse
I have seen a lot of posts about how Narcisse is using and trading Lola as if she is some sort of price to be won and how he has just manipulated her feelings, but before the war on opinions starts… how about we just seize fire for the moment and look at the facts… 


Yes, Narcisse shouldn’t have done what he did, in the way he did it. It seems that Narcisse does the wrong thing for the right reasons or at least with the right intentions for doing it. It is clear to me that he planted the rat in her bath because he only want to PROVE to her that he would protect her NO MATTER THE COST. 
After all, Narcisse tried all throughout 3x01 to prove to Lola that he would protect her against anyone or anything- even with his own life. Which for a man who values self preservation as much as he does is one hell of a thing to promise- let’s be honest. 

We know that Narcisse will go to great lengths in getting what he wants, and here what he wants is to marry Lola, but the first step in doing this is to convince her that they could be a REAL couple as opposed to just LOVERS- which, again, can we all just appreciate the jump he has accomplished since well, we first met Narcisse.

BUT! What we also have to remember is the fact that this is still THE SAME MAN!! He is controlling, pragmatic and a little scary when it comes to those serious situations and therefore those characteristics are going to keep on popping up every now and then in his actions. If they didn’t it wouldn’t be the Narcisse we all fell in love with in the first place AND it would be as if the writers completely changed his character which is no good FOR ANYONE- including Lola. Thus, he did what he did, in the way he did it to get what he wants, AND give Lola what he knows she truly wants, ‘a real family’, and the accomplish that he needed Lola to let go of her fear, which I do actually agree she needed to do a little. 

By doing what he did, he convinced Lola that fear should not stop her from doing what she wants and being with who she wants. She needs to take the plunge and the risk, because it is very risky, and open herself up to loving this man-openly! Also, on this note, because Narcisse has never been in love, I am guessing no woman has actually fallen in love with him, so because he has such strong feelings for Lola, he needed her to admit her feelings for him because he needs that reassurance; the feeling that he is wanted and needed by another (which is what we all want isn’t it?)

Building on this, Narcisse did risk everything to be with Lola, which is something he has NEVER done before. He has NEVER let his heart rule over his head, and so he needed Lola to return her love because he feels so vulnerable- because of his lack of experience with love. 
I am sorry if this isn’t making sense by the way :s

Bringing me on to this short note, Narcisse has NO idea  how a real relationship works, what it requires and what it should consist of, so of course he is going to get things wrong from time to time!

Discussing the WAY in which he eventually got Lola to admit her feelings and let go of her fears towards Catherine, I admit it was MENTAL… BUT! Let us just remember who it was exactly he was trying to implicate in putting the rat in Lola’s bath… CATHERINE!
Narcisse knows Catherine: her sadistic, evil ways; her crazy, rash actions; her scheming, mental plans, (need I MENTION the poor horse?) so in order for Lola to believe it was Catherine who did this, he had to do something so crazy that Lola would immediately point the finger at Catherine rather than wonder who is was. I admit it was a it manipulative but a the end of the day, he is HUMAN, he is going to make mistakes and he has to learn the consequences of his actions which we know he is willing to do- he wants to change be the person who ‘deserves’ Lola- which come on is the SWEETEST THING EVER!

I think he will be able to change, and be someone who deserves someone like Lola but, as with most things, this is going to take time. 

But can we just revel in some of the INCREDIBLE scenes they had this episode?!

Examples:
‘I want you forever’ 
The way he drawls, ‘Lola.’ 

‘And because I love you.’ / ‘Stephane, I love you too.’ 

The way they look at each other when they say they love each other :’)

The way he looks just before he kisses her and equally, the way she looks at him :’)

The KISSING EEEEKKK!!!

‘I want it all.’

I mean LOOK AT THIS!


One thing I am not sure about is, did they actually sleep together? If they did, I feel cheated! All I know is that I want MORE kissing scenes - in bed -, more affection and a morning after scene!!!

A side note
I miss Kenna :( BRING HER BACK!
Also, I LOVE Greer and the pirate! They are so hilariously cute!

The gifs were made and taken from the beautiful and talented

@xx-archangel-xx

visions are seldom all they seem

fandom: haikyuu!!
pairing: 
kageyama/yachi
summary: a distant memory resurfaces, of wind and flowers and goodbyes.  —a villager B/king au. happy birthday candice!!
words: 3451
read: 
ao3/below

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jojo0225  asked:

I Jux receive a call saying my grandpa Jux past away and I dun know how to react to this can I know how will bts comfort me(if I'm their girlf) about this situation? If only limited yo 3 members pls do for (v jin kookie) if not pls do for all thx

Jin - He would be able to tell something is wrong when your face goes pale. He would patiently wait until you are off the phone, and gently ask you what’s wrong. You would tell him your grandpa passed away, and he would immediately set aside whatever he is doing. He would wrap an arm around you, and closely watch your face. If you start crying, he wouldn’t hesitate to pull you to his chest and just let you cry all over him as he strokes your hair and gently soothes you. If you freeze up, as if you don’t know quite how to react yet, he would hold you close to his side and just watch you quietly, maybe even asking if you’re okay. If you wanted some space to grieve, he would respect that, but never go too far, in case you suddenly need him there for you. 

Suga - When you tell him your grandpa passed away, he would sit with you and hold your hands in his. If you start to cry, then he will soothingly rub your back, and whisper soft things to you every so often. His hold on your hands would tighten, just so you know he’s there. If you freeze up, as if you don’t know how to react, then he would sit with you and ask if you want to talk about it. He would ask you about his passing, and whether he was sick; what you remember of him, and when the funeral is. If you prefer to be left alone, he would respect your wishes, and leave you be until you are ready for him to be there. He would let you make the calls, and just be there to silently support you the best he can. 

J-Hope - He would cry for you, whether you do or not. When you tell him the situation, he would get this strange look on his face before grabbing a hold of you and crying. He would hug the stuffing out of you, telling you how sorry he is. He would totally be okay with you crying all over him. You lost a member of your family, and must be just breaking apart inside. If you don’t know quite how to react, he would merely hold you and rock gently so you can sort our your emotions. If you choose to be alone in this grieving process, he would respect your decision. He would leave yo alone, but make sure to check on you regularly, and always telling you that he is there for you when or if you need him. I hardly ever cry in daily life, but if there were any one who I ever chose to cry with, it would be him. He is very sensitive and considerate.

Rap Monster - He would be shocked. He would eye you as you tell him the news, and slowly take everything in. He is very logical, but still very sensitive, and would think about what is best for you and what he can do for you. If you cry, then he is going to let you cry all over him. He would slowly rock you back and forth, patting and rubbing your back soothingly. If you froze, then he would talk to you about little things, and constantly tell you that everything is going to get better. He would also repeat how sorry he is for you. Losing some one is hard, and he wants you to know that he can be your rock through these hard times. If you choose to be alone, he will respect that. He will check in on you once a day, even if you don’t answer him back, he would tell you that he loves you and that he is there whenever you are ready. 

Jimin - When you tell him the news, he would get a very sorry look on his face. If you cry, he would pull you to his side, and make sure that you can rest your head on his shoulder why you just let the tears out. He would rub your arm and maybe sing you a little something to try and soothe you. He would be a real sweetheart. If you didn’t know how to react, he would ask you simple questions to help you through the process. Were you close, was he sick, how does this make you feel? He would want to make sure that inside you are not exploding while trying to hide it on the outside. He doesn’t want to see you emotionally hurt. If you choose to be alone, he would accept it, but maybe have a hard time sticking to the promise. He would drop in randomly and ask how you are doing, and if you are feeling any better. He would also do small things for you like drop of coffee and snacks, or leave little notes every where telling you to do some laundry or brush you teeth. 

V - He would cling to you like a monkey. You would be crying, and he would have his arms and legs wrapped around you until you feel like you are being consumed by him. He would rock you as you cry, and make sure that he has a firm grasp on you the entire time. If you are having a hard time reacting, then he would still cling to you. He would shake your arm a lot and ask if you are alright, and say something because you are really starting to scare him. He would have the hardest time if you chose to be alone. He would try and respect your decision, but literally be right over your shoulder the whole time anyway. He just wants to make sure that you are taking care of yourself despite the grief, because a lot of people tend to neglect themselves during these times and become even more ill as result. It would hurt him even more if this ever happened to you. 

Jungkook - He has a hard time expressing his own feelings, but in this time of need, he knows he needs to be your shoulder to cry on. If you start crying, the he will awkwardly wrap an arm around you, and say soothing things. He would do his best to be caring, but his young age might make him a little awkward around crying girls still. Nonetheless, he would still let you cry all over him, and do his best to comfort you. If you have a hard time reacting, he would merely hold your hands and tell you that everything will be alright. He might ask if you are okay if you go quiet, but he would allow you to process your feelings, and let you talk when you feel the time is right. If you choose to be alone, he would respect that. He might make you a small fort that you can crash in when you need to, and just leave you in your own space. He would check on you when it’s time to eat, just to make sure you are taking in a little of food, and staying hydrated. He’s young, and he’s awkward, but he still knows this is serious business.

~Admin C

yukirin96, I hope this helps you out a little bit. I am very very sorry for your loss, and want to let you know that I am here if you want to talk. Give yourself some time, and just take each day as it comes. Stay strong bbe! I love you!

WHERE YOU HIDE - Prologue

A/N: I’ve been working on this story for a while now.  What I wanted to write about and what the story tells you are a bit different, since the plot has changed significantly from what I had had in mind when I’ve started writing it. It’s still a family-centred, post-manga piece that is made out of angst, tears, laughter, some humour and a lot of family feels.
The prologue you’re about  to read is probably the shortest chapter in this story, because I didn’t want to give you too much information. After all it’s no fun to know the entire plot at the very beginning, right? Just for the record, I want to say that this chapter is the only truly sad one and that the rest will be (hopefully) way more fun to read.
Anyway, I hope you’ll like it. If you do, please reblog, like and comment (you can PM me too, if you want!)~

Also I would like to dedicate this entire story to sasusakuparadise, who is simply awesome. She is my tumblr friend and she always listens to my babbling with an astounding amount of patience.Thank you for being here! <3


***

WHERE YOU HIDE

Now hush little baby, don’t you cry
Everything’s gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, I told ya
Daddy’s here to hold ya through the night

-Eminem, “Mockingbird”

Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”
-David Ogden Stiers

I’ll find the places where you hide
I’ll be the dawn on your worst night
Only thing left in our life

-One Republic, “What you wanted”

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