if this doesn't work i swear to god

Things I have actually said playing Huniepop
  • Me: GODDAMNIT AUDREY MAKE YOUR DATES SIMPLER
  • Me: Hey porn star I am not your daddy.
  • Me: Oh yay an alien can't wait to fuck these dates up.
  • Me: Listen here you pink fairy I don't care if you're helping me get these dates stop breaking the fourth wall.
  • Me: Ooooh chola about to cut a bitch.
  • Me: Momo your occupation is not fucking kitty. Life doesn't work that way.
  • Me: Tiffany why can't you be easy like your mother!
  • Me: Aiko have you graded those papers yet.
  • Me: Beli I swear to god make this date work I've already given you a pinecone.
  • Me: Lola stop fucking leaving town. I get that you're a stewardess but stay the fuck in town I'm trying to get the pussy.
  • Me: Nikki stop wearing your damn pajamas to dates.
  • Me: *sees Venus* Oh hey Palutena.

SHUT UP TIC-TAC.

Sam is done. SO DONE.

anonymous asked:

Hey could you please do a Moriarty (form Sherlock) x Reader fic where he doesn't know how to express his feelings, but he always likes to sit next of the Reader because it helps him concentrate when he is working or relax when he is stressed. Thanks oxox

Pairing: Jim Moriarty x Reader
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Warnings: almost smut, lol (also some swear words)

A/N: gaaaaah! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST BABE! oh my god, I love jim so so so much and I’ve been looking forward to writing this request for ages and finally managed to write something! so yeah, hope you enjoy it <333

                                                             *****

Jim Moriarty wasn’t someone that wore his heart on his sleeve.

You and him had been having.. something, for a while now, yet, you didn’t know what this thing exactly was - given that he never talks about such matters.

The sex was good, though, so you didn’t want to complicate things by having the ‘What are we?’ talk. If what you were having now is all that he wanted, fine by you. If he wanted more, he’d hopefully tell you. Or show you.

That’s how it’s been for a few months. But one day, you realized that the ‘just sex’ part, developed into something.. different.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

ANGST ANGST ANSGT! Injustice 2 really messed me up, so I was wondering if you could do an imagine where Damians' twin sister sided with Bruce, and after Superman defeats him, Damian begs his sister to work with them because he doesn't want her to end up like Bruce. But she ultimately declines and disowns him as her brother. I'm sorry if this is a lot;;; thank you for your amazing writing!!!

You know, I think I don’t quite know how to write angst? I swear to God it sounded better in my head when I envisioned this. Anyways, hope you like it, nevertheless! Thank you for sending in your request!

ps: I’m flying off later today so there might not be any updates until I get to the hotel, checked in and what not!

 

You never really thought this could ever happen. Never in a million years, you think, at least not to you as you stare at your twin that is currently standing on the opposite side in front of you.

“Come on, sister.” Damian never pleads but you also used to think that he will never betray you but here you are, betrayed by your own flesh and blood. It probably would not have hurt as much if he was anyone but your twin. But Damian is so you cannot even begin to describe the pain you feel at that very moment. It hurts you a lot to see Damian right now and the one thing that absolutely killed you the most is the fact that Damian still does not realize that by asking you to join him – to leave your father – he is hurting you a lot. He might as well just shove his sword right in to your heart.

“Please, Y/N, sister, join me.” Damian pleads for the umpteenth time. He knows you are stubborn but he also knows you enough to know where to push your buttons to get the results he wants. “You are on the wrong side, sister. Come to me – to us. Do not end up like him.” Damian spats disdainfully. Just the thought of you ending up, injured and battered, like Bruce twists his insides and Damian vows to make sure you do not end up like that.

“Sister –“ Damian jumps out of the way when you unexpectedly throw your batarang at him. He looks at you in surprise – you have never raised your fists at him, let alone throw your weapons at him.

“Do not call me sister, Damian.” You growl at him, your mind moving quickly, calculating the distraction you need to create so you can reach your father safely and bring him to safety. “From this day onwards, you are no longer my brother as I am no longer your sister.” Damian looks so stricken and surprise by what you had said, you almost wanted to take your words but you stood your ground instead. As much as it hurts you, you know deep down that you will never join your brother ever.

“The only way I will ever join you willingly is when I am in a body bag!” You exclaim and Damian inhales sharply, frowning as he stares at you, taking a stance.

“Sister, you do not know what you are talking about! Can’t you see that you are on the side of the wrong?” Damian is starting to sound very impatient and truthfully, he is impatient. If he has to knock you out to get you to join him, he will not hesitate to do that at all!

You narrow your eyes at him and just as Damian is about to jump towards you, throwing his bombs, you throw your own smoke bombs – all of them – on the ground in front of you and in front of him. Logically speaking it might have been a bad decision because you definitely did not expect Damian to throw his own flash bombs but you will not let anything stop you to get to your father.

You jump out of the way, ignoring Damian’s shouts. You ran towards your father and struggled to heave him up. Bruce groans, opening an eye to look at you. “Y/N?” You shake your head; this is not the time for chit-chat. You only have a few minutes to escape to safety.

“Can you move, father?” You look over your shoulders, straining your ears to hear Damian’s footsteps and when you hear it approaching, you immediately start trying to head towards the direction where your father had parked his car. You know Damian like the back of your hand – he would have taken your words literally and will most likely resort to taking you forcefully. Bruce gives you a curt nod, knowing from the strain in your voice and your tight expression that something must have happened so he pulled himself to the car.

You got in to the driver’s seat and ignore Bruce’s soft protest before revving the engine, driving away just in time to see Damian brandishing his sword like a mad man. “From today onward, Damian is no longer a Wayne.” You spat scornfully. Bruce groans, muttering things incoherently before passing out, wondering how his family is falling apart so quickly like this.

emmacornell  asked:

I work at a greenwall and unfortunately my store doesn't carry the fidget spinners. No idea if we're getting them soon. I swear to god the amount of pissed off parents i get that yell at me almost every hour of everyday for "false advertisement" is going to kill me.

How is it false advertisement? Are they in your sales ad?

-Rodney

saeran-sexual  asked:

*rolls in shamelessly* ohhhh hiiiiiiii Saeran~ I wonder if you really are prepared for all the fangirls coming for You to Paradise :D (this is such a cool blog already, I love reading the stuff here! keep up the good work :D)

God I really don’t have time to deal with all you people. Do you know how much time I’ve wasted tonight just responding to these messages? Some in binary, no less? I wasn’t aware it was such a common language…

I hope you don’t expect me to be this available if you come to Paradise. I’m usually too busy to talk to anyone outside of the Savior, but tonight was an exception. If this keeps up though, ugh, she might make this part of my regular duties

SO FOR THE LOVE OF BINARY, STOP.

anonymous asked:

Can I refer to mun as dude? I mean I use "dude" regardless of gender anyway but is it cool with you?

I call everyone dude/man/bro all the time regardless of people’s gender (probably because that’s just my slang at this point) but YEAH! THAT’S A-OK!

i’M so happy right now! today’s such a great day!

Harry at fabulous magazine
  • Stylist: Harry that jacket is absolutely gorgeous on you. I think my work here is done
  • Harry *peering over her shoulder*: But what of my accessories? What's that? Over there?
  • Stylist: That's my beret, from home, I own it, I wore it here.
  • Harry: I want to wear it.
  • Stylist: But that doesn't reall-
  • Louis *grabs beret*: Harry wants to wear it. Look at him. He looks fabulous
  • Harry: Thank you, love
  • Stylist: I mean honestly I think you look a bit ridiculous I mean-
  • Louis: Don't you dare-
  • Harry: No Lou, no worries, it's perfect and I refuse to remove it
  • Stylist*mutters*: I give up. I swear to god if I get fired....
  • H&L smile while Louis adjusts beret.
  • Louis *bops harrys nose*: Who's my little French fashionista?
  • Harry *hangs head* quietly: I am

So…it’s ya gal…again…asking for modding help.

I swear to goD mods just hate me, i’ve installed all these mods before and they worked perfectly.

So i’ve been trying to install the ME1 Controller mod. I’ve done it before, it went fine, the game ran as usual, but with a controller instead of keyboard/mouse. 

But I’m trying to do it now, and i’ve had issues actually getting the controller to work properly - i’ve gotten over those now. HOweveR, now when I try to speak to people, all subtitles and dialogue wheels come up with ‘Con Text Here’ or ‘Con Text’.

Has anyone came across this, and does anyone know how to fix it?

Abused ||Starter Sentences||
  • "It-It's nothing, I swear..."
  • "He/She really loves me, he/she just doesn't know how to show it.."
  • "I, uhh... f-fell down the stairs. That's how I got this bruise on my [insert body part here]."
  • "Can I stay here for a few days or possibly months? I don't want to go back to his/her house..."
  • "He/She's at work right now, thank God.."
  • "Oh, shit, he/she's home. I gotta go."
  • "He/She can't know I'm with you, okay?"
  • "Sorry, he/she took my phone away, so I couldn't call back."
  • "He/She says I can't flirt with any boys/girls, and yet he/she's off with somebody, most likely flirting with them."
  • "I can't break up with him/her! You don't even know what he/she'll do to me."
  • "I'm not just going to walk out on him/her. He/She needs me..."
2

I had the incredible urge for merman!Suga after seeing so many beach pics :‘D  (The connection works in my head I swear!)

So here you go. Your friendly neighbourhood merman Suga, too nice for his own good and too curious for his own good. This can only go well when he meets a human for the first time.

anonymous asked:

SPEAKING OF HILDA She probably did get them into all this so she decides that she has to go save him so with the help of ORF and Rusty (well, he doesn't really do much. He probably gets along with Geoff) she arrives in FAHC universe and probably falls in love with Michael, or maybe Ryan, Ray if he's lucky (I'm p sure half the fandom ships X Ray and Hilda anyway so why not)

  • Hilda shows up and is just “wow, there are people here who aren’t complete idiots, what a novelty”
  • But imagine when Hilda meets Lindsay
  • “So you’re saying you actually work with the Mad King?”
  • “The Mad who?  You mean Ryan?  Goddamnit, is he giving himself nicknames again, I swear to god…”
  • Hilda’s curious, and it leads to an epic team up of team Same Desk double trouble.
  • “So wait, you and your Michael aren’t… together?”
  • “My… the bear guy?  I’ve literally never said two words to him.  Plus I usually prefer my men a little more… verbose.”
  • Vav sees Hilda and is just “Thank god, we can finally get out of here and go back to where things are normal, and the world isn’t made of criminals, and murder is a significantly less frequent daily occurance.  C’mon Ms Hilda, let’s get out of…”
  • “Oh no.  Hell no.  I cannot believe you of all people are jumping on the criminal bandwagon.”
  • “Ah c’mon, she can’t leave before we try out all her toys!  Can you imagine pulling a heist with freeze rays?  It’ll be top!”
  • “I was not even remotely talking to you bizarro-me, sod off.”

+ @nasirnazkhan

“I swear to the gods, if you say one more thing about how you shouldn’t be here or whatever, I’m gonna whack you over the head with my bass guitar! You’re a family friend, Naz. Heck, scratch that! You’re practically family! We’re here for you whether you like it or not! Besides, according to Madhu, you’re the only one who can actually tell stories properly with voices and all. So that’s gotta count for something, right?”

anonymous asked:

Emo Himuro is the best thing that happened since furisting. I swear to god. I bet he sings "Untitled" by Simple Plan in the shower while crying... Sorry for my english and keep up the great work! ^^

emo Himuro considers dying his hair black before he remembers…..it already is……

your english is excellent, no worries!  and thank you so much!!