if this doesn't work i swear to god

Things I have actually said playing Huniepop
  • Me: GODDAMNIT AUDREY MAKE YOUR DATES SIMPLER
  • Me: Hey porn star I am not your daddy.
  • Me: Oh yay an alien can't wait to fuck these dates up.
  • Me: Listen here you pink fairy I don't care if you're helping me get these dates stop breaking the fourth wall.
  • Me: Ooooh chola about to cut a bitch.
  • Me: Momo your occupation is not fucking kitty. Life doesn't work that way.
  • Me: Tiffany why can't you be easy like your mother!
  • Me: Aiko have you graded those papers yet.
  • Me: Beli I swear to god make this date work I've already given you a pinecone.
  • Me: Lola stop fucking leaving town. I get that you're a stewardess but stay the fuck in town I'm trying to get the pussy.
  • Me: Nikki stop wearing your damn pajamas to dates.
  • Me: *sees Venus* Oh hey Palutena.

anonymous asked:

ANGST ANGST ANSGT! Injustice 2 really messed me up, so I was wondering if you could do an imagine where Damians' twin sister sided with Bruce, and after Superman defeats him, Damian begs his sister to work with them because he doesn't want her to end up like Bruce. But she ultimately declines and disowns him as her brother. I'm sorry if this is a lot;;; thank you for your amazing writing!!!

You know, I think I don’t quite know how to write angst? I swear to God it sounded better in my head when I envisioned this. Anyways, hope you like it, nevertheless! Thank you for sending in your request!

ps: I’m flying off later today so there might not be any updates until I get to the hotel, checked in and what not!

 

You never really thought this could ever happen. Never in a million years, you think, at least not to you as you stare at your twin that is currently standing on the opposite side in front of you.

“Come on, sister.” Damian never pleads but you also used to think that he will never betray you but here you are, betrayed by your own flesh and blood. It probably would not have hurt as much if he was anyone but your twin. But Damian is so you cannot even begin to describe the pain you feel at that very moment. It hurts you a lot to see Damian right now and the one thing that absolutely killed you the most is the fact that Damian still does not realize that by asking you to join him – to leave your father – he is hurting you a lot. He might as well just shove his sword right in to your heart.

“Please, Y/N, sister, join me.” Damian pleads for the umpteenth time. He knows you are stubborn but he also knows you enough to know where to push your buttons to get the results he wants. “You are on the wrong side, sister. Come to me – to us. Do not end up like him.” Damian spats disdainfully. Just the thought of you ending up, injured and battered, like Bruce twists his insides and Damian vows to make sure you do not end up like that.

“Sister –“ Damian jumps out of the way when you unexpectedly throw your batarang at him. He looks at you in surprise – you have never raised your fists at him, let alone throw your weapons at him.

“Do not call me sister, Damian.” You growl at him, your mind moving quickly, calculating the distraction you need to create so you can reach your father safely and bring him to safety. “From this day onwards, you are no longer my brother as I am no longer your sister.” Damian looks so stricken and surprise by what you had said, you almost wanted to take your words but you stood your ground instead. As much as it hurts you, you know deep down that you will never join your brother ever.

“The only way I will ever join you willingly is when I am in a body bag!” You exclaim and Damian inhales sharply, frowning as he stares at you, taking a stance.

“Sister, you do not know what you are talking about! Can’t you see that you are on the side of the wrong?” Damian is starting to sound very impatient and truthfully, he is impatient. If he has to knock you out to get you to join him, he will not hesitate to do that at all!

You narrow your eyes at him and just as Damian is about to jump towards you, throwing his bombs, you throw your own smoke bombs – all of them – on the ground in front of you and in front of him. Logically speaking it might have been a bad decision because you definitely did not expect Damian to throw his own flash bombs but you will not let anything stop you to get to your father.

You jump out of the way, ignoring Damian’s shouts. You ran towards your father and struggled to heave him up. Bruce groans, opening an eye to look at you. “Y/N?” You shake your head; this is not the time for chit-chat. You only have a few minutes to escape to safety.

“Can you move, father?” You look over your shoulders, straining your ears to hear Damian’s footsteps and when you hear it approaching, you immediately start trying to head towards the direction where your father had parked his car. You know Damian like the back of your hand – he would have taken your words literally and will most likely resort to taking you forcefully. Bruce gives you a curt nod, knowing from the strain in your voice and your tight expression that something must have happened so he pulled himself to the car.

You got in to the driver’s seat and ignore Bruce’s soft protest before revving the engine, driving away just in time to see Damian brandishing his sword like a mad man. “From today onward, Damian is no longer a Wayne.” You spat scornfully. Bruce groans, muttering things incoherently before passing out, wondering how his family is falling apart so quickly like this.

emmacornell  asked:

I work at a greenwall and unfortunately my store doesn't carry the fidget spinners. No idea if we're getting them soon. I swear to god the amount of pissed off parents i get that yell at me almost every hour of everyday for "false advertisement" is going to kill me.

How is it false advertisement? Are they in your sales ad?

-Rodney

anonymous asked:

Can I refer to mun as dude? I mean I use "dude" regardless of gender anyway but is it cool with you?

I call everyone dude/man/bro all the time regardless of people’s gender (probably because that’s just my slang at this point) but YEAH! THAT’S A-OK!

i’M so happy right now! today’s such a great day!

2

I had the incredible urge for merman!Suga after seeing so many beach pics :‘D  (The connection works in my head I swear!)

So here you go. Your friendly neighbourhood merman Suga, too nice for his own good and too curious for his own good. This can only go well when he meets a human for the first time.

Harry at fabulous magazine
  • Stylist: Harry that jacket is absolutely gorgeous on you. I think my work here is done
  • Harry *peering over her shoulder*: But what of my accessories? What's that? Over there?
  • Stylist: That's my beret, from home, I own it, I wore it here.
  • Harry: I want to wear it.
  • Stylist: But that doesn't reall-
  • Louis *grabs beret*: Harry wants to wear it. Look at him. He looks fabulous
  • Harry: Thank you, love
  • Stylist: I mean honestly I think you look a bit ridiculous I mean-
  • Louis: Don't you dare-
  • Harry: No Lou, no worries, it's perfect and I refuse to remove it
  • Stylist*mutters*: I give up. I swear to god if I get fired....
  • H&L smile while Louis adjusts beret.
  • Louis *bops harrys nose*: Who's my little French fashionista?
  • Harry *hangs head* quietly: I am
Abused ||Starter Sentences||
  • "It-It's nothing, I swear..."
  • "He/She really loves me, he/she just doesn't know how to show it.."
  • "I, uhh... f-fell down the stairs. That's how I got this bruise on my [insert body part here]."
  • "Can I stay here for a few days or possibly months? I don't want to go back to his/her house..."
  • "He/She's at work right now, thank God.."
  • "Oh, shit, he/she's home. I gotta go."
  • "He/She can't know I'm with you, okay?"
  • "Sorry, he/she took my phone away, so I couldn't call back."
  • "He/She says I can't flirt with any boys/girls, and yet he/she's off with somebody, most likely flirting with them."
  • "I can't break up with him/her! You don't even know what he/she'll do to me."
  • "I'm not just going to walk out on him/her. He/She needs me..."

anonymous asked:

SPEAKING OF HILDA She probably did get them into all this so she decides that she has to go save him so with the help of ORF and Rusty (well, he doesn't really do much. He probably gets along with Geoff) she arrives in FAHC universe and probably falls in love with Michael, or maybe Ryan, Ray if he's lucky (I'm p sure half the fandom ships X Ray and Hilda anyway so why not)

  • Hilda shows up and is just “wow, there are people here who aren’t complete idiots, what a novelty”
  • But imagine when Hilda meets Lindsay
  • “So you’re saying you actually work with the Mad King?”
  • “The Mad who?  You mean Ryan?  Goddamnit, is he giving himself nicknames again, I swear to god…”
  • Hilda’s curious, and it leads to an epic team up of team Same Desk double trouble.
  • “So wait, you and your Michael aren’t… together?”
  • “My… the bear guy?  I’ve literally never said two words to him.  Plus I usually prefer my men a little more… verbose.”
  • Vav sees Hilda and is just “Thank god, we can finally get out of here and go back to where things are normal, and the world isn’t made of criminals, and murder is a significantly less frequent daily occurance.  C’mon Ms Hilda, let’s get out of…”
  • “Oh no.  Hell no.  I cannot believe you of all people are jumping on the criminal bandwagon.”
  • “Ah c’mon, she can’t leave before we try out all her toys!  Can you imagine pulling a heist with freeze rays?  It’ll be top!”
  • “I was not even remotely talking to you bizarro-me, sod off.”

anonymous asked:

Emo Himuro is the best thing that happened since furisting. I swear to god. I bet he sings "Untitled" by Simple Plan in the shower while crying... Sorry for my english and keep up the great work! ^^

emo Himuro considers dying his hair black before he remembers…..it already is……

your english is excellent, no worries!  and thank you so much!!

Shuckiest Shuckfaced Shucks: The family I made for myself here. If I had to go through the maze, you guys are the ones I’d want by my side.

5secondsofnewtmas, aarontveyt, ass-of-cas, bellammys, casneedsdean,
gladersqueen, haletrinity, onemaytolerateaworldfullofdemons, poetassexmadpianostool, richardharmun.

Gladers: The people who have been with me along the way.

Special characters-F:

2460ugh, absobloodylootely-shucked, ambereyedwolfchild, bisexualmorgana,
 cap-tveit-me, capjustbeinglokilicious, captaintightpants90,
 childofnike, citoyennejolras, crankyangels, crankgally, cynical-dragon,
 dontfuckwithmyotps, fan-girl-it-up, flying-fandom-chariot.

G-R:

hisgoblin, holdmesam, hooked-on-a-killian, its-minho-bitch,
 kitten-enjolras, lilyeva, lovemyskylight, maddmegan, minty-minho,
 momma-mccall, monkeyoffitz, nahgitsune, natulipan, nebulanewt,
newmas, newtmasismyotp, newtttheglue, noxthelights, pippinpie, pls-tommy, purple7randomness, readyto-stark, ripoutpage250, rockintensse.

S-W:

scorchtriials, septembers-sky-of-lights, sevendrunkenknights, shynewt,
 swiggity-swoe-it-is-the-doe, teenage-mutant-ninja-cora, the-devils-dandy,
 the-keeper-of-thominewt, theglade-escape, thomasbnewton,
 triciamayokolb, twin2ovesj, wadebramwilson, wecallthemblades,
 whereshiphappens, wildchildbrat.

Group B: Amazing ethereal beings that I would love to be my friends.

A-F:

absentminded-fan-of-most-things, actualcarlbarat, bellaraewinters,
 biliusronald, captaingally, caringnewt, childofthestreets,
 cockycaptain, constant-wisher, crutchiee, deanlovescastielswormstache,
 destinies-are-troublesome-things, dinosaurstilinski, dunderklumpen,
 enjolrasthefirstdisneypresident, evil-needs-candy-too, fansterblog.

G-R:

ginger-ninjabread-girl, hugharekillianmejoly, i-am-the-secret-genius,
 im-newt-af, imagineamagicworld, imapixie123,
 itsabout-merthur-and-brolin, k-lionheart, keeper-of-the-builders,
 kitkatminho, leo-freaking-valdez, magic-atthebarricade, mattsxbaegel,
 mikewarrenofficial, mostly-you-partially-me, names-newt-greenie,
newtmos, newts-getting-cranky, nicovaldez, orestesblasting-pyladesfunk, parvsghost, pastelroyalty, perchin, positivehardcorethrsday, punkassaris.

S-W:

salutenewt, sammystardis, sangstergasm, sangsters-nipples,
 seaweedbrain97, second-in-command-newt, shuckiest-shuckface-shuck,
 simbas-infinity, bonerminho, stitch-twinny, the-alice-of-legend,
 the-library-and-step-on-it, thesadbritishsalamader, thosehawkguys,
 to-kill-a-moshing-bird, underthenarniansun, unmarkedindeath,
 ur-not-louis, why-am-i-awake, whyhellogreenie, wicked-is-ok,
 wickediscranky, will-iampoulter.
Listen

a young man stands on the edge of his porch

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the days were short, and the father was gone

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there was no one in the town

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and no one in the fields

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this dusty, barren land

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had given all it could yield

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i’ve been kicked off my land at the age of sixteen

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and i have no idea where else my heart could’ve been

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i placed all my trust at the foot of this hill

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and now i am sure my heart can never be still

so collect your courage

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and collect your horse

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and pray you never feel the same kind of remorse

steal my heart

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and break my pride

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i’ve nowhere to stand

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and now nowhere to hide

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align my heart

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my body

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my mind

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to face what i’ve done

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and do my time

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you are my accuser now look in my face

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your oppression wreaks of your greed and disgrace

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so one man has

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and another has not

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how can you love what it is you have got

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when you took it all from the weak hands of the poor

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liars and thieves

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you know not what is in store

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there will come a time i will look in your eye

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you will pray to the god that you’ve always denied

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and i’ll go out back and i’ll get get my gun

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i’ll say you haven’t met me

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i am the only son

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steal my heart

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and break my pride

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i’ve nowhere to stand

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and now nowhere to hide

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align my heart

my body

my mind

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to face what i’ve done

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and do my time

steal my heart

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and break my pride

i’ve nowhere to stand

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and now nowhere to hide

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align my heart

my body

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my mind

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to face what i’ve done

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and do my time

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yes, sir

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yes, sir

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yes it was me

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i know what i’ve done

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cause i know what i’ve seen

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i went out back and i got my gun

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i said you haven’t met me

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i am the only son

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Caleb and Frankie (then Paola) discussing showmances, the difference between heterosexual and homosexual and origins of the Rhinestone persona.. or who it's based off of
  • Caleb : (Talking about himself and amber and showmances 0:00 ~ 0:35)
  • Caleb : You know what's funny is that I feel like, I swear I feel they put us on this show to meet. (Either talking about him and Amber or him and Frankie as the "religious southerner and the gay new yorker" )
  • Frankie : Duh, of course. They had a matchmaker on, they had to have.
  • Caleb : They had to have
  • Frankie : It's perfect. And they matched me with Joey *sour face*
  • Caleb : *laughs*
  • Frankie : Oh great
  • Caleb : Did they?
  • Frankie : *high voice* They were like "pink and blue"
  • Caleb : *imitating high voice* Oh my god they'll work out but then you say "I'm a hetero" (He doesn't know the difference between heterosexual and homosexual)
  • Frankie : Heterosexual
  • Caleb : I wanna ask you. What's the difference in, what's what's hetero?
  • Frankie : Hetero? Um means, uh dif- opposite. So heterosexual means opposite sex, homosexual means same gender.
  • Caleb: *pauses*
  • Caleb : Oh so I'm
  • Frankie : You're heterosexual
  • Both : *nods*
  • Frankie : Yea, hetero means attracted to opposite sex
  • Caleb : when you say- when you said that the other day I was like "wait a minute, I'm twisted"
  • Frankie : Heterosexual is men and women-
  • Frankie and Paola : -And homosexual is same sex
  • Caleb : Cause I've heard you say both.
  • Frankie : Yea I know cause they, he (Rhinestone) gets very confused. Rhinestone doesn't know what the fuck he wants, that's the joke.
  • Disclosure : ( This is when Frankie starts going into Rhinestone Silverstone and who he's allegedly based off of. No names are ever mentioned but I think you can guess for yourselves. From the body language and unspoken hints you can get a feel that what they're saying isn't literally "yes we are talking about my persona and him only nobody else". It's the most obvious when Caleb says "I wonder why" because Paola probably figured out before him and if even he understands then you guys should too)
  • Rhinestone : So I'm a heterosexual-
  • Paola : So Rhinestone is bisexual
  • Rhinestone : but often I love di- p- men. Yenno
  • Caleb : So, so Silverstone-
  • Frankie : So Rhinestone Silverstone is a homosexual, but he likes to *quotation fingers* portray himself as heterosexual even though he's not. At all. He's in the closet. Let's put it that way. *gives them a look*
  • Paola : So he's bisexual
  • Frankie : Mm I think he's basically just gay. But he's in the closet
  • Paola : *with Frankie* he's in the closet
  • Frankie : Yea and I think whenever he's talking about being heterosexual he's lying. *Gives Paola and Caleb a look again*
  • Paola : Gotcha
  • Frankie : Yea
  • Victoria : *Randomly watches from the darkness*
  • Frankie : *Looks at Caleb and Paola and nods assuringly*
  • Caleb : *tone change* I wonder why
  • Rhinestone : I dunno, maybe in, where he's from it's not ok to be a homosexual but heterosexual better. So he's-
  • Caleb : *Imitates how Rhinestone says "so"*
  • Rhinestone : A heterosexual who sleeps with men not all the time, sometimes, most of the time, lot's of times. Mostly men.
  • Frankie : *while nodding* Sorry not sorry, I'm sorry *defeated? laugh* *rests head on Caleb's shoulder*
  • Caleb : I still love you
  • Frankie : He's a character!
  • Paola : ( Talks about Joey )
  • Caleb : ( Talks about showmance/amber stuff again without saying her name)