if they are monsters so am i

me: Gotta focus on homework

my brain: WAZOWSKI! (Ah!) Hehe. What do you know. It scares little kids AND little monsters. I wasn’t scared! I have um. Allergies. (Cough cough). Uh-huh. Sure. Hey Randall, save it for the scare floor will ya? I am in the zone today Sullivan. Gonna be doing some serious scaring. Putting up some-…BIG numbers. oh, that’s great Randall, that’ll make it even more humiliating when WE break the record first! Haha! Shhhshhh. You hear that? It’s the winds of chaaange. ……you hear that, you hear the winds of change-oh, what a creep. Someday I am really…….gonna let you teach that guy a lesson

Submission

“Rawr! I am Delirious, the most vicious monster in the whole wide world!” A scrawny man in a blue hoodie spoke. His face was nearly completely hidden by a hockey mask, and he had a machete strapped to one side of his waist. The normally solid forest ground was mushy under his dark blue boots, not that it bothered him nor his partner much.

“Oh yeah? That’s why you haven’t gotten one kill, huh?” Delirious’s “partner in crime”, so to speak, teased the shorter man. The partner, better known as Cartoonz, had skin the color of blood, a missing right eye, and short, dull horns. He had a pair of bat-like wings that currently kept him aloft, dark red claws instead of fingers or toes, and a thin, razor tipped tail that only ever drooped. His clothes were loose, often ripped and dirty.

Neither were good at what they were supposed to be, but neither truly wanted to be.

“Look ‘Toonz, I need a better introduction! The last people we found laughed at me.”

“Yeah, I know. They laughed at me, too- Wait, did you hear that?” Cartoonz’s question was directed at an odd noise. It sounded both familiar, yet very different than any sound they’d heard before.

“I heard that! It sounds human!” Delirious spoke quickly, looking at his best friend. Before the conversation could continue, the mysterious noise squeaked out of a nearby bush.

“It’s coming from here. Stand back, Delirious. I’ll check it out,” Cartoonz whispered as he approached the bush. Moving carefully, he pulled the leaves to the side, revealing two small cloth bundles. He picked the noisier bundle up gently, and cautiously pulled the blanket away from the source of the noise.

“Delirious… Look at this,” Cartoonz’s voice was quiet and shaky now. Delirious crept up to his friend, and confusedly took the small bundle forced into his arms. Cartoonz then picked up the other cloth wrapped thing, and lifted the cloth away from it.

“…What is this thing, ‘Toonz?” Delirious questioned before a happy giggle floated from the bundle.

“I think it’s a little human. What were they called… 'babies’?”

“Makes sense. Hey, this little guy’s pretty cute!” Delirious smiled at the baby in his arms, which stared back at him. The baby had light blonde hair and sharp blue eyes. The other baby in Cartoonz’s arms also had blonde hair, but crisp violet eyes, rather than azure.

“Yeah, they are. Maybe we should ask the Wraith about them. He knows a lot about humans, so he’ll be able to help us take care of them,” Cartoonz offered the idea hesitantly, almost as if he was unsure. The thought that the babies would be abandoned by them was discarded by the pair before they even realized it was an option.

“Or maybe we should ask the Nurse. She should know a lot about humans from taking care of them so long, right?” Delirious pointed out as he began to walk towards a cabin. He and Cartoonz had long ago repurposed the empty house into a comfortable living space, and they both lived there.

“Yeah. Wait, we can’t tell them! If we tell them we’re taking care of humans, they’ll kill them, or they’ll tell the Entity!” Cartoonz realized, panic rushing from his words. The small babe in his arms blinked up at him and smiled, while the other just giggled and grabbed Delirious’s pointer finger.

“Not gonna happen then. Look at these two. We can’t just let them die!” Delirious agreed, allowing the baby to play with his finger until they put it in their mouth. “Ah! No! that can’t be good for you!” He yelped, pulling his finger away as the babies clapped and laughed. Cartoonz couldn’t stop his guffaws at the sight of his best friend waving a finger in front of a happy little baby.

“Well, if we’re going to take care of these two, then we should give them names, right?” The winged man questioned the other. When they finally arrived at the somewhat small log cabin they called home, they pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The living room was comfortably warm, with a pair of couches, a few chairs, and a fireplace that contained a blazing fire. There was a fluffy carpet spread on the floor, meaning no shoes were ever worn about in this room. The kitchen had a tiled floor and a small table with four chairs surrounding it. The counters were clean and the fridge was stocked. Upstairs, there were two bedrooms and a pair of bathrooms.

Delirious kicked off his shoes before stepping into the living room, cradling the child like he had done it before. A broken memory tugged at the back of his mind, but the second he payed attention to it, it was gone. He shook his head to regain focus, then spoke.

“Yeah, they gotta have names. Let’s each name one,” Delirious determined, grinning behind the mask he never took off. He plopped himself down on one of the couches, while Toonz took a seat in an armchair.

“Well, you go first then.”

At Cartoonz’s words, Delirious looked at the blonde babe who had fallen asleep in his arms moments before. “Uh… how about, uh… Wildcat? 'Cause-, 'cause he’s so fierce! Is that a good name?”

“Sounds good enough as a nickname,” Cartoonz shrugged, before turning his attention to the child in his arms who stared up at him with innocent purple eyes. “Well… what do you think of 'Bryce’?”

“Bwyce!” The babe gurgled out, beaming as they tried to say their name. “Bwyce! Bwyce!” Cartoonz felt a flash of an emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time. Pride. He lifted the baby off his lap and up so he could look them in the eyes.

“That’s right. Bryce,” Cartoonz affirmed. Bryce giggled and clapped his hands together, smiling tiredly, before he yawned and fell asleep. Delirious cooed at his partner, who’s face turned another shade darker. After a second of silence, Delirious sat up, seeming to come up with an idea.

“Alright, I’ve got it! How about 'Tyler’? 'Cause it sounds like tiger.”

“You will not let the cat thing go, huh?”

“Shush up! It’s a cool name.”

Cartoonz laughed at Delirious’s indignant response. Before they knew it, both humanoid monsters were yawning and falling asleep themselves.

kleoette  asked:

I am not sure if this can be done in 500 words BUT..would love a Zimbits where Bitty meets Bob and Alicia

I have owed you this for almost six months so I just sat down and did it all in one go and there are 5000x mistakes but here we go. I love Alicia.

For the Monster Haus AU, featuring Jötunn Jack and Bob, Witch Bitty, and Demi-goddess Alicia.


“You’ve met them like, at least ten times Bittle.”

Bitty resisted the urge to roll his eyes the entire way back into his skull. This was not the first time this exact argument had been had over the past week, and as neither side seemed ready to concede or accept any credibility in the other’s argument, it was highly possible it would be had again before they reached their destination.

“Yes, Jack, but not as your boyfriend,” Bitty explained for at least the fifth time. “And not at your house. Like, your actual house that you grew up in.” Bitty frowned, doing his best not to play with the edges of the Saran wrap covering the top of his latest masterpiece. At least, it had better be a masterpiece. He had been working for days on his newest recipe of chilled pie. It was a chocolate and pecan cheesecake, with just a hint -or possibly a full cup- of acceptance and positive charm added in.

Bitty was certain it was not enough.

From the diver’s side Jack huffed a small laugh, the window fogging for just a moment as his cold breath passed over the glass. “You’ll be fine, Bittle. They already love you.”

Bitty heaved out a breath, preparing for another volley of arguments but Jack reached over the console to grip his hand and for just a moment he forgot what he was going to say.

The fact that Jack had taken his hand was only part of the reason. A very small part of the reason, actually.

“Mother of God.”

Keep reading

brokenknifefrisk  asked:

"Human-made food/ingredients make their way to the Underground occasionally, right? How does that sort of thing fit into monster cuisine?"

*Encouraged by his friends, Caddy seems to be sending a text back to Dr. Greenburg @thegreenburggolem

Meaux:
 “Well, ‘sides from seafood washin’ up in Waterfall, there ain’t much that comes down from above that ain’t already gone bad. When we left, so did all the magic, so human food don’t last like ours does.”

Cleaver: “We have, however, imitated human dishes through various media that ends up down here. And while I am not sure how closely our cuisine emulates the ‘real thing’, I feel we do fairly well, considering most of our ingredients are alchemized.”

anonymous asked:

it's been drought for me i fUckIN NEED BAD BOY JEON JUNGKOOK IN MY LIFE WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO UPDATE MONSTER UGH I AM SO FUCKIN PISSED AT EVERYTHING CUZ JJK IS SO BAD AT EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS MAN SO I REALLY CAN'T BLAME NO ONE HERE SINCE HE HAS THE BAD BOY REP AND FUCK IDK I fuckinN LOVE YOU AND YOUR WRITING

Originally posted by adamvanwinden

I started working on it yesterday, I’m making some progress! Thank you, I’m glad you like the story :) He’ll keep on being bad at that!

The Poems of Cyril Hurk

That was me, in my ox-blood boots,
Running up the hill from Satlburn beach,
My legs so lean, my life my own. She
May have seen me stretch away. She
Did not say that she was impressed, but
I felt blessed to be vigorously alive, to be
Able to stride up the monster incline.
Love is never mine, but it should be. If I had
Been watching the sweet chap bolding up
The spiral mount, I would have gasped and
Fallen for him. If you wish to begin with love,
Begin with me. I am made for you to see.

ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

OKAY SO HERES MY DEAL, YALL NEED TO WATCH SCHOOL FOR LITTLE VAMPIRES ON NETFLIX OR ONLINE I DONT CARE BUT I FEEL THAT THIS SHOW IS FUCKING UNDER APPRECIATED. YALL NEED TO SEE WHAT THIS BEAUTIFUL GERMAN-ITALIAN FUSION OF A SHOW BECAUSE ITS THE MOST FUCKING CUTEST THING EVER. THIS SHOW NEEDS A BIGGER FANBASE AND THEREFORE I AM SPREADING AWARENESS. ALL YALL WANT TO BINGE WATCH A SHOW, WATCH THIS ONE. THIS IS THAT TYPICAL CHILD SHOW BUT THAT SHOULD HAVE GROWN. IF YOU LIKED TWILIGHT, WELL GUESS WHAT IT AINT THAT SHIT. ITS BASICALLY AWESOME VAMPIRES WITH HARRY POTTER MIXED IN. THEY HAVE GOOD MEANINGS AND MORALS AND FOR GOD SAKE SPREAD THE LOVE. Also I recommend the german dub, I just like how it sounds. AUF WIEDERSEHEN BITCHES
(The school for little vampires)

3

:’3 I’ve been sick and my tablet broke for a little while (I fixed it though) but I couldn’t work on art requests v w v’ 

I took a break and I was feeling better today so I painted this and posted it because I was like “what if I like die or something.” (not that i am going to die but I always think, I should just post this now just in case)  

I’m very rusty at water color paint but heres my child (oc) CyberSpiral, isn’t he pretty?

10 questions

tagged by @berribaek thanks son <333
- answer 10 questions and tag 10 people -

last movie watched: monsters inc
last song you listened to: monsta x - beautiful
last show you watched: your lie in april / shigatsu wa kimi no uso (i am currently rewatching it because i love and hate myself)
last book you read: hamlet (not really a book but that is the last thing i read)
last thing you ate: STEAK (blessed bday)
if you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?: japan because i’ve always wanted to go there
when would you time travel to?: before my calc test so i can retake it because it went horribly 
first thing you would do with lottery money: travel
character you would hang out with for a day?: spiderbae 
time right now: 10:56pm

tagging: @sukooks @minysuga @saepiae @myluluoh @bhbaekhyun @skybluell @illicitblue only if you want to :D

best lines in always sunny history

1. pepe silvia monologue
2. name’s artemis. i got a bleached asshole.
3. stupid science bitch couldn’t even make i more smarter
4. your hair looks small
5. can i offer you a nice egg in this trying time
6. everybody’s dying, bitch. let’s get you some fruit.
7. oops, i dropped my monster condom i use for my magnum dong
8. newsflash, asshole, i’ve been hearing it the entire goddamn time
9. i do not like it with the skin dee i am not ALLOWED
10. charlie, i do a backflip every day of my life
11. b-b-b-b-bad pussy
12. did you fuck my mom santa claus
13. been there? not physically.
14. well first of all through god all things are possible so jot that down.
15. question: dennis is asshole. why charlie hate? / answer: because dennis is a bastard man.
16. milksteak
17. you know what it is bitch
18. denim chicken?

Kim Namjoon’s dimples appreciation~

IF YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY LOOK AT HIS DIMPLES FOR .3 SECONDS AND FEEL BETTER

IF THIS ???

DOESN’T

MAKE YOU FEEL ???

ALL WARM AND FUZZY

INSIDE

I HONESTLY ???

DON’T KNOW

WHAT WILL ???

HOLY

DIMPLES

*sudden rude gif*

CUTIPIE

*~*

Seriously, I just wanna poke his cheek and make him smile on purpose just to see those cute dimples~ ♥