if these don't come out in 4 years you have no idea how disappointed i will be

anonymous asked:

Hello, on your header, it says that requests are open so... Here's a request (can ignore if you want). Would it be alright if you could write an angsty scenario where everyone in 17 finds out that you have the Hanahaki Disease, but they don't know who you're unrequited love is (The unrequited lover that causes you pain shall be Joshua).

Originally posted by pocketskies

Lilies and Roses

genre: angst, hanahaki byou au

word count: 3,332

ok so i spent a LOT of time on this. i had no idea what hanahaki disease was so i read some fanfics and i was sucked in. now the scenario is longer than the paper i should be writing oops. anyways, i’m just gonna warn you that if you don’t like blood or diseases or angst or anything like that you might not wanna read it. its not that bad, but just in case ya’know? also, there might be some mistakes because i haven’t had a whole lot of time to look over it, so i apologize.

-admin charli


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friskbitz  asked:

Hey there! I was wondering if you had any advice for writing a schizoid character? The protagonist in my book has schizoid personality disorder and I don't want to write it inaccurately in any way.

Hey :)

Hm… Well, first of all, as you can probably guess, it’s easy to ruin schizoid character just as it is easy to ruin any character with psychology specifics that author is not personally familiar with. 

But that being said, as long as you avoid following those extremely common tropes about schizoids being robot-like, incapable of emotions *at all* or just plain murderous psychopaths incapable of feeling guilt, you should be fine :) Also the “happily turning into neurotypical at the end” trope is bad, but you probably aware of it.

It’s just to keep a short tl;dr version on top, but as always I will elaborate *a bit*. ^^’ 

The “robot” bit. It’s common to view schizoids like that. Heck, even schizoids sometimes refer to themselves in this way. I do that sometimes too, yes. But it is one thing when you say stuff about yourself, and the other – when you find it in a book in reference to a character you probably relate to. First is your choice and your own views, and second is just yet another example of media being the disappointment it is. Can’t say it’d necessarily “hurt feelings” of many schizoids, but some would probably close your book with a sad sigh.

Emotions. Schizoids are not completely cut out of every single mood and emotion. At least most of them are not. It’s just those emotions are different, sometimes mostly inner, and sometimes they themselves are not aware of feeling anything, or it’s too shallow and too brief to notice it until it is gone. It probably won’t be as pronounced as it is for other people, but picturing schizoids by making sure it is repeated every single chapter that they don’t feel a thing isn’t likely a good idea :) The shallowness of emotions and how it is hard for them to understand other people being so emotional, on the other hand, could be somewhat of a highlight to a character. 

Or, alternatively, human emotions can be sort of a fascination of this character (just don’t overdo it). Most schizoids can feel (and, more importantly, realize what it is when they feel it) interest to some specific subjects. It’s likely to be narrow and not in the same way, let’s say, autistic person would experience it. Not necessarily obsessive kind of interest, and likely not a life-long constant fascination. Or maybe this interest just flashes for a while just to disappear for years, but always returns eventually. 

Apathy and lack of motivation can be another highlight, but it doesn’t have to be. Just as well as depression or some other comorbid disorders. Not every schizoid is constantly depressed, even though normal “mood” of most schizoids can be mistakenly viewed as depression from outside. Schizoid person may look grim, barely ever smiling, making it look like they’re unhappy and constantly sad, but on the inside this person could feel normal or even on the positive side of their regular mood level (no matter how narrow their mood range is). 

Schizoids are very different. No, seriously, it’s not the same as to say “people are different”. It is even pointed out in psychology books sometimes :) It’s hard to find two schizoids who would relate to each other in most aspects. More likely they’ll find each other just as far off as any other human they meet. Or maybe relatable in this and that, but this? Heck no, not even close.

And the “evil schizoid” trope. Well, just to illustrate it, though I mentioned this example before in this blog, but it’s popular enough to refer to and shows the point quite well. Sherlock and Moriarty. Schizoid and antisocial disorders, correspondingly (it is debatable whether Sherlock is also autistic, but he definitely has more than 4 schizoid traits to fit the criteria). I guess I don’t really have to explain what is different between those two characters? %) 

So yeah, it kinda sucks when someone views you as Moriarty when you are more of a Sherlock (minus being genius bit, among other things). And this is way too common for schizoids to get to know character, begin to relate to them, just to find out that author thought to make them a villain from the start. Sometimes it looks convincing enough for schizoid viewer to start to doubt themselves, like “maybe I am bad, after all? this character was so much like me, so maybe this is my future”.

And no, there’s nothing wrong with making characters in so called “gray morality” territory or making them just bad guys who are opposed to the hero. Just make sure if it’s schizoid bad person, they are not psychos with no motive other than having fun by jumping on dead corpses of stolen infants, not taking blood baths every evening and are not remorseless psychopaths never feeling guilt over what they did. There must be some reason for any action, no matter how morally-questionable it is. 

But yes, some schizoids are indeed capable of doing things that won’t always fit into common morality standards. They can fit into “doing what it takes” trope in some cases. E.g. after weighing all possibilities, they might come to a conclusion it is acceptable to sacrificing a whole planet full of people to stop a war that would last for centuries, taking away dozens planets more, therefore eventually saving billions of lives. And yes, I’m talking about one specific schizoid character, one of my favorites even, but won’t tell which one and where is it from to avoid spoilers (but can tell in PM if anyone wants to know). 

Oh, and the “curing” trope. Don’t try to make it look like being schizoid is just a starting point in your character’s development. It’s not. One of the worst things that can happen to a schizoid character - is suddenly ending up “unfrozen” by teh Power of Love or something (oh, by the way, I’ll link you something i wrote a while ago on this subject in private later). They were schizoid all their life, probably to a lesser extent in childhood, manifesting around early adulthood. This manifestation could be triggered by some trauma, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be just the way this person grows up in the society where they are alienated, not taken as equal, avoided or patronized, scared of, laughed at or ignored, even openly attacked or beaten. Or maybe none of it to a great extent. They might just not find enough in common with all those people just for no other reason than being different. There doesn’t have to be a reason to be schizoid just as there is no reason for being autistic or e.g. having blond hair. 

The “loneliness”. Schizoids are not immune to feeling lonely. But if loneliness is very pronounced whenever they are alone, it’d look more like social anxiety disorder or just introversion. Schizoids tend to crave for solitude at least sometimes. Some just need it as air and not sometimes, but most of their time. If they have no choice but to deal with people every day for x hours, it’d drive them insane or will end up in severe depression at very least. But don’t confuse social anxiety with schizoid personality, because while latter can look like they’re just shy and afraid of interaction, most schizoids (unless they also have anxiety) are ok-ish to interact with people when needed. It’s just having to do so regularly and out of their own control on how much, how often and in which way - that’s what exhausting about communication. 

Schizoids might have friends, people who are important for them. They are capable of caring for family. Just not necessarily in the same way other people do so. What’s important, though, is that if schizoid for some reason doesn’t have people they care about, it’s unlikely that loaning to find such person would be their driving force to find new contacts. They aren’t more likely to get intimate (mostly in emotional sence) with someone just because they’re alone at the moment. It can be a good example of “happily single”. 

Oh, and about asexuality. It is true that asexuality is rather common among schizoids, but allosexual schizoids are just as common. Some are explicitly sexually active and are prone to all kinds of non-standard sexual behaviors. It’s just that they’re unlikely to be romantically involved with their partners, at least not for long and not in this “emotional intimacy” way with limerence, holding hands and being sweet couple stuff. It’s still probably happens for some schizoids, though, so I’m not saying it should be out of question for your character.

Also probably worth to mention the “magical thinking” and “odd beliefs” bit of schizotypal disorder. Some schizoids have it, others don’t. Your character can be on either side here, it shouldn’t be too confusing. But just keep in mind that it’s different disorders and they don’t have to come in packs. If you aim to make your character unambiguously schizoid, it’s probably a good idea to not make them believe in stuff like telepathy or magic (unless that stuff is a well-known fact in your setting). 

The “rich imaginary world” is often mentioned in schizoids. Though having lackluster fantasy and no understanding of art is also mentioned sometimes. And yes, some schizoids don’t see it mutually exclusive and can have well-developed fantasy world while not really being in touch with any other kind of fantasies and not caring at all about fiction and art. 

Aaaan I can’t think of anything else by now. ^^ If I missed something of particular interest to you, just let me know and I might end up writing second wall of text about schizoid characters. There’s probably plenty important stuff I forgot (tbh I just don’t remember what’s up there in this wall of text and I’m not planning to re-read it before posting). 

My followers probably can add something to this, though. Also if someone has a few good and even bad examples of schizoid characters, even I myself would like to hear it :)

Anyway, good luck with your writing ^^ It’s so rare someone writes about schizoids in positive way. And if something, I’m always up to read more fiction with schizoid characters :)

redactedkondraki  asked:

Villain AU! Either both are villains or only one or the other is

Originally posted by cubisticking

I’m so glad there was a villain!AU gif I could use~♥ I’ll give some headcanons, or I guess concepts in this case, that I enjoy for this AU with one or both as villains. I’m pretty picky about my villain AUs because I like certain things, so I’m sorry if my headcanons wind up fairly…I dunno, mild? These won’t be scenarios like the first one, but flat-out ideas. Anyway, I hope you like them anyway!

1. In situations where Saitama is the villain, my favourite headcanon is that he’s not a villain on purpose. Either he used to be a hero for fun and, because he was unregistered, was mistaken and branded as a villain due to his activities, OR he was registered as a hero but, because the association realized his power and was scared of him, sabotaged him and marked him in a way that meant the entire world saw him as a threat. Those are my absolutely FAV~♥ Especially when it always causes such misunderstandings with hero!Genos, and leads to a sort of dance between the two to get to know each other; the epiphany Genos has in these types of villain AUs is the best part. I could read those kind of fics forever.

2. If Saitama is a villain because he wants to be, I don’t like the ultra violent version of his villainy, but more along the lines of a “this little shit” version that taunts the heros, fights them even (but with barely any of his strength, and no one gets irreversibly damaged), and doesn’t care so much for collateral damage or his public image. The kind of villain who has fun, and has every hero wanting him dead, but in the grand scheme of things has never killed anyone, not even by accident, and sometimes even saves the day, but is so hated that no one really notices that until they get a little closer to “Caped Darkness” than most people would. *coughGENOScough* Like, I read a small fic where hero!Genos discovers that Caped Darkness visited a children’s hospital on a frequent basis and I about died it was so sweet, and hilarious with how confused Genos was.

3. Now, if Genos is the villain, and Saitama the hero, I don’t see Genos as the type who would become a villain to taunt and harm other people, but because he will stop at absolutely nothing to find and maim the Mad Cyborg. He’ll break into government facilities, he’ll steal files or technology that’ll point him in the right direction and make him stronger, and he’ll fight and defeat other heroes if they stand in his way. Saitama would be the first to not try and stop him but, rather, ask him questions, badger him until he got answers out of the kid because, as much as other people tend to bore him, there’s something about Genos that doesn’t sit right with him. He’s not a BAD kid, per say, but a driven one, and Saitama just wants to know how this 19-year-old wound up one of the most sought-after villains in the HA’s database.

4. If they’re BOTH villains then there’s two scenarios I find interesting. The first one is they’re the terror of HA as a pair, and have attacked the HQ on many occasions, ruining their plans and just costing them money at any opportunity, because they were both heroes at one point and both spurred by the association. Saitama way before Genos, who sought out Caped Darkness to learn from him and team up, which Saitama reluctantly agreed to because the kid could cook and had cash. When they’re at home they’re domestic as fuck, and super chill, but once they put on their villain outfits and head out it’s all fun and games and shit-eating-grins. No one has ever been fatally wounded from their shenanigans, especially innocents since their beef is with the HA, but the heroes don’t really notice that when they keep getting their asses handed to them by a toaster with an emo fashion sense and an egg with eyeliner.

5. The second one is them as rival villains~! Saitama has never been seen in person as more than a black-caped blur, but is known as the biggest threat for his “attacks on the city” (which are really just him killing any monster he can get to before a hero can, thus invalidating them at every opportunity—if said monster lands on a building or two that’s not his problem), and Genos has been trying to do the same for months but can’t fucking get his hands on a monster before that blur shows up, wrecks the monster, and disappears from one heartbeat to the next. Genos is frustrated and angered beyond belief; how is he supposed to discredit the HA and its heroes if he can’t do anything? So it becomes a rivalry in Genos’ mind, and a challenge to find and identify the real Caped Darkness, and when he finally DOES manage it it’s…the most disappointing thing Genos has experienced in his life, even trumping his reason for hating the HA (which is them not believing his claims that Metal Knight killed his parents and is far from any hero- or so I headcanon in this case, anyway).

And that’s because Caped Darkness is just…a regular guy, with poor cleaning habits and a tiny apartment, and is only killing the monsters “for fun” and not for any self-righteous reason. Out of spite Genos convinces the obviously reluctant villain to let him move in and ‘learn from him’ (aka monitor where he is and what he’s doing at all times so HE can kill the monsters before Saitama for once), and as time passes Saitama starts enjoying the company, while Genos actually winds up learning a lot from Saitama without meaning to and, in the end, they both take down Metal Knight together because fuck that guy.

(And that’s it! Sorry this is more ideas rather than actual headcanons, but since this AU could be a handful of things I went with ideas to narrow down my answers. Hope that’s okay!)

24 Days of Handers Masterpost

I decided that I wanted to do something fun this year for the holidays, and since I can’t draw I thought I would do something I’m somewhat okay at - write. I found this post a couple months ago, and I immediately thought of my Caught Looking Garrett and Anders. Because when can I ever resist writing about them?

Obviously, I want you guys to read these, share them, all that good stuff (they will also be on AO3) but mostly I want you to enjoy them. You are all so good to me, and I’m still overwhelmed by the love I get for CL, so I wanted to say thank you. 

So here’s the deal: there are 24 prompts. Starting on December 1, I will be posting one prompt per day, until we get to Dec. 24. I did switch the order around from the original list if you checked that out. As I upload each day’s fic I’ll update this post with a link to that specific prompt. 

The official summary - Baseball season is done. Anders has decided to give up the last vestiges of his life in Ferelden and stay in Kirkwall permanently. Garrett, he thinks, is worth staying for. But snow isn’t a thing in Kirkwall, much to Anders’ disappointment. And Anders doesn’t really care about Christmas, to the holiday-obsessed Garrett’s disappointment. The month will be a series of firsts for the pair as they try to make the holiday season their own. 

This story takes place approximately 4 and a half months after the current point (chapter 12) in the main story.


Full prompt list:

1. Winter expectations vs. winter reality.
2. We need to buy you winter clothing.
3. Treatment for the flu/a cold
4. Getting the person who doesn’t like Christmas into the right festive mood
5. Snowball fight
6. Hot tea and cozy sweaters
7. Giving subtle hints of what one would like to get for Christmas
8. Picking out the right Christmas tree
9. Decoration wars
10. Holding out in a snowstorm together/Getting snowed in together
11. An unusual snowman
12. The smell of the holidays
13. An odd holiday tradition
14. A Christmas letter 
15. Dancing in the snow
16. Sleigh rides
17. Reading someone Christmas stories
18. Falling asleep by the fireplace
19. Baking Christmas cookies
20. Finding a present for that person that is impossible to find a present for
21. Obnoxious singing of Christmas songs
22. Watching the snow alone and watching the snow together
23. The last day of work/class before the holidays
24. The traditional Christmas dinner

25. Epilogue - Christmas morning/the letters


A few quick things I want to mention - 

  • chapters will also contain ratings/warnings as they are posted. All prompts are between 1-2k words each. 
  • most of these will be silly/fluffy pieces, but some will contain smut (come on, it’s me) and some will contain tiny bits of angst (mentions of Malcolm, mentions of Karl, etc. but nothing really bad)
  • Christmas does exist in Thedas, but there is no mention of religion. This is Santa-Christmas, not Jesus-Christmas. 
  • you don’t need to have read CL, but it would really help cause I reference stuff
  • everything will be tagged “24 days of Handers” if you want to block it

anonymous asked:

Hello! :) please write an EXO scenario where me and baekhyun is in a secret relationship, but the managers and stuff decide to create the rumor of him dating taeyeon instead and even make him stay behind to spend time with her and it works, so we break up and I leave for America and come back 4 years later.. Thanks! Srry if it's a touchy subject. I understand if you don't do it.

Oh please, with some of the smut I’ve written, this is nothing. Besides, this is a very interesting idea. Ack, I have to come up with an ending myself, I’m not good at those. Oh well, let’s see how I take this. Are you as excited as I am? I may have had a little too much fun with this, so I hope you can be accepting of the extra little details I added into this piece! My friend read this over and told me to change the ending,but I told her no, but if you don’t like it, I can send you another ending! Just make sure to tell me!

This is a Baekhyun scandal piece, angsty, and long in length

Enjoy everyone

————————————————————————————————

Things Change

Ack, where was he? You never had to wait on him this long. You were waiting in your car, parked in a parking lot close to the S.M. building. Being in a vehicle was all you could get since he was a popular member of one of the most popular K-pop groups of all time. You didn’t hate having to do it, just as long as he was willing, and he would do anything for you. You looked at your phone again, 12:44, he should’ve gotten off several minutes ago, and normally he would’ve gotten to the car by now. As you looked back up from your device, you were frightened to see someone looking collapsed against your windshield. You threw your arms back from the surprise, but you took another look and saw it was your boyfriend just being stupid. You mouthed babo to him, but he stuck his tongue out at you as he walked around to the passenger seat. You reached over to unlock his door and as he opened it, you were retracting your arm back, but you felt his hand grab your wrist. He tugged you toward him, and you were basically laid straight out across the front seats. What made it even worse is that your head landed near his crotch as he tugged you over. Your eyes bulged out of your head, but his bulge did nothing. You heard him laughing as you brought yourself back up, now free from him since he was laughing so hard he was holding his sides instead of you. You then crossed your arms and faced away from him. He placed his hands on your shoulder, trying to spin you around so he could see your beautiful face. You were resistant, but he then went by your ear without your knowledge and whispered in it

“Come on, don’t be like that, baby.” You then turned around and your faces smashed, and you were happy to feel his lips on your once again. It was a real struggle, having to wait in a car in the middle of the night to spend a few moments alone while looking around for the paparazzi, seeing if they had caught on to your secret dates schedule yet. Luckily, they had yet to discover it. He then began to cup your face as he continued to show more passion than he does in his singing to you. You were aching for him, but as he got farther along in his journey against you, you heard a phone ring. You felt the buzz against your thigh, but it was too low on your thigh to be from your pocket. Baekhyun stopped kissing you, but he kept the distance the same between you. His eyes were still closed, and you watched him sigh in the most disappointing way. It almost broke you to hear him be like this, but you could only give him the signal to pick up as he opened his eyes. Your nod was hard to give, but you knew going into this relationship that these times were going to happen, even if it didn’t happen often. You would just have your head make the motion as he sat himself properly in the passenger seat. The phone was bright in the dim parking lot and he sighed as he spoke of a name

“Joonmyun. He’s asking me where I am.” He didn’t even look up at you, just gave a small smile you knew right off the bat it wasn’t out of joy. He also started shaking his head and gave the laugh most people do to keep themselves from emotionally breaking down. You couldn’t even imagine the stress of doing such a thing, it was hard on you, but he has so much more at stake, so you couldn’t even fathom what goes on inside his mind. He was tearing himself down, it was awful to have to witness, but you loved him. And you knew he loved you. You were each other’s support systems, it was the only reason he could continue doing the music industry. You believed in him, and you wouldn’t let him give up on his dream for you. You couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to him, not intentionally. He finally seemed like he regained his composure and he gave you a look. A look of him trying to get you to ask him to stay. You didn’t want to mess up anything for him, so you never objected him leaving you, despite how much you wanted him to stay and do whatever he pleased to you, but you knew you couldn’t be selfish. He had his business he had been under contract to do, and you weren’t going to stand in the way of that. You pressed the car unlock button, and his attention was still on you as the his indicator loudly went off to tell him he could leave the vehicle. This was never the most fun part, but he was only making it harder on you to have him leave you. You had to leave all of your emotions as he walked out of the door. You grabbed him as he tried to exit and you gave him a peck on the cheek. He looked back over to you, and you could only smile as he walked out from the door and closed it. He kept walking, so you surprised him as you honked your horn. He jumped up high, but not too much, and he looked back to see you sticking your tongue out. You saw him give a small chuckle and half smile before he kept walking and into the elevator. He turned around so he could still face you, and you didn’t break eye contact with him. Even as he descended low and out of your vision, you still kept eye contact until it was broken by the number above going from 3 to 2. Then 1. Then G. You had to sit back and had to take in the fact that this was the 4th time to happen this week, but you could only do what you did those other past 3 times and turn the car keys and start up the car. You were still exhausted, but then you were more disappointed to look down and see what the time was.

12:52 

It’s a new record

You got home from work and you tossed your keys into your bowl and you almost collapsed onto the couch and you just tried to remain silent as much as you could. The silence was amazing, but a buzz ruined it for you. The vibration against your thigh made you immediately reach in your pocket and pull out your phone. There was a text from your friend, and it had a link on it. You pondered why she sent you a link, since you’ve told her countless time that links wouldn’t open with your phone model, but she also had a header that had you confused

“_________-ah, Read About Your Bias Baekhyun!” You were now scared more than those nights you spent waiting in the parking lots, or the visits to the secretive parts of the S.M building that only you two knew about, all of the messages that have been exchanged that you’re beginning to think someone hacked to reveal to the world. What could have possibly had happened since last night that could be exposed? You then ran around your apartment, trying to remember where you left the goddamn laptop, and you almost tripped over yourself as you went over to your desk and sat yourself in your desk chair. Despite the elegant speed of your connection, you still deemed it as too long while you waited for the login screen to load. You needed to know, you had to. You then remembered your phone on the couch, and you walked out of your room to look at it. You could open links, but the rest of the internet sucked, so you held the phone in your hands, and without even thinking it over you tapped the link. The Internet symbol popped up and it began to load strip by strip, starting from the left. It showed that it was only one line, so the headline must be short. Your name was relatively short. This only caused you more panic as you waited to see Exo’s Ba- show on your screen. It froze on you, only making it more tempting to toss your phone across the room. You waited and waited, it was only seconds, but it felt like hours, and you saw the rest of your boyfriends name and the ampersand, but you didn’t see the name next to his since it froze on you again. You were clutching as hard as you could without feeling it crumble between your fingers. You heard a small “ping”, and you knew your computer was booted now. You ran with an unknown source of ability and ran to your laptop, dropping your phone in the process. The carpet was plush enough, it’d be fine. You couldn’t think of where to go, so after youlogged in, you pulled up allkpop.com, you knew that if nowhere else, it would be there. And it was, on the front page, reading

Exo’s Baekhyun & SNSD’s Taeyeon Reported To Be Dating + S.M Confirms It’s True

What were you even reading? What kind of a title was that? Was he cheating behind your back….? No, he couldn’t be…. all that time he tries to spend with you until one of his members contacts him to ask him where he is, or maybe it was all a facade, so he could leave you and have it not seem suspicious. But, why would he keep you around? This is Taeyeon he’s rumored with, or confirmed with, as the tile says. So what would make him keep coming to your parking spot in the lot? Or continue to text you things that made you smile like an idiot? Or tell you that he loves you…. He never seemed the type to do something like this. You thought he loved you….. No, no, this didn’t seem right. You scrolled down, trying to read the rest of the article. They used such a good picture of him. You also saw the picture of Taeyeon, and it only made you feel worse. She was so beautiful, anyone would be lucky to be dating her. You scrolled down more and it said that it was confirmed that day from S.M Entertainment that they were in a relationship and that they revealed they were dating for 4 months already. You and him were dating for that long, not them. They were using your information. You weren’t sure what to do with this development, and you only scrolled down twice to see even more horror. And by horror, you saw you. Your car, your clothing, your face (barely), that was you that Dispatch had pictures of. The pictures were blurred too much, even for Dispatch’s standards, plus it looks like they were edited so it did still look like her but you knew your shirt you wore last night and your vehicle like the back of your hand, it was basic memories. You scrolled down more, knowing that the pictures below were still yours, but it wouldn’t change anything. All you could do is sit back in your chair and tilt your head back, trying to think through everything. The first thing you need to do is to talk to him, but you knew he couldn’t pick up during practices, and he always slept whenever they traveled. There would be no point in trying to contact him now, all you could think of was meet somewhere close to the same spot and see if he would come. You almost didn’t want to risk it, but you still found enough forgiveness within you to at least go and receive an explanation.

It was almost 1 when you you were about to leave, but Baekhyun came running out with his arms wide open. You almost didn’t spot him, and he had his hands out to stop the car, but he didn’t have to put in a lot of effort. You began to motion him closer to the car, but it was obvious to you both the expression currently on your face was not a happy one. He had his hands up like he was in a stakeout, and he proceeded to open the door and let himself in. You couldn’t find yourself do anything else but stare lasers into him, and he couldn’t even make eye contact with you. He just leaned his head on his hand against your window, not saying anything.

“I expect some kind of elaboration.” You never beat around the bush when it came to matters as serious as this

“You do. And it’s one of the most dumb reasons S.M has ever done anything ever, so I’m not sure if you’d even believe me. But, it’s just a cover up. S.M is getting a lot of hate from everyone about the lawsuit with Kris, so they said they want to try and cover it up as much as they can. There’s this dating scandal, f(x) is going to come back, the SM Rookies are going to making a lot of news lately, but for right now, one thing at a time, and they wanted to start this to change the Exo news from negative to something not considered as bad. Since my musical is coming up, they thought it might bring more attention to that as well. Remember, I didn’t consent to any of this, and I never would have. And I still can’t see where those photo’s came from, trust me, this is just as confusing to me as it is for everyone else, I just want this all to go away, I want you to not be mad, I just want to not ruin anything for you anymore….” He then hunched over in the passenger seat, and he was holding back more than ever, and you then broke at the sight. He was being torn down, and you couldn’t see him like that any longer, so you brought his face to yours and you kissed his forehead before you spoke softly to him

“Go to the dorms, you need to rest. I’ll come to this spot tomorrow. Try to make it, ok?” He looked at you with more reassurance than you’ve ever had him do it before. It made you feel better, and he always gave you a good response,and his was reassuring as he said

“I will.”

He was late. Again. What was with him lately, but it was almost 1, and you couldn’t wait on him any longer. You went to check your phone to see how much longer he might have but it was only 3 more minutes. You chose to text him to see where he was

-Where are you?

-I’m sorry, but I have to stay late today (ToT)

-Oh, just make sure to tell me. What are they making you do now? >-<

-Well, um, I’m not sure if you want to know who I’m staying with

-Oh come on, not like you’re staying after with Taeyeon or something, are you?

- *-* Please don’t be mad. They’re making me so it seems believable. Trust me, I’d rather be with you right now.

-Well, if they want it to seem real, well, I guess there’s nothing I can do. I hope you practice everything well for me! Hwaiting!

-You’re the best, you know that?

(MMS message has been received(

You opened it to see him in a selca pose, but you were distracted by Taeyeon in the background, but she was partially cut out of it, and Baekhyun was there, and that was all that mattered. Looking at that picture was the only thing that helped you sleep that night.

Other times you weren’t as lucky to even hear from him.

You were constantly waiting for him, for weeks and weeks on end,in the same spot from before every time, yet he never came. And he never returned your messages. You’d have to keep leaving at 1, with your misty eyes. You weren’t sure what to do at this point, so you chose to risk yourself and show up at S.M itself. You knew a back entrance that was close to where he practices often, so it was a start. You just had to figure out what going on

You were somehow able to avoid the sasaengs and traced from the memories of last time you attempted this to find the door. It was still there, and it was still open. You then noticed how dark it was, remembering it was one of those hallways that was never lit properly. You then tried your best to stay on your toes and kept your eyes peeled for a source of light that wasn’t from an Exit sign. You were surprised no one was down these halls, and you were quick to find the string of practice rooms. All of them were dark except for one, near the other end of the hall. You ran to the room, and you tried to be sneaky and try to look inside. The window was small, but you could still manage an eye to it, and you saw him. With her. They were standing by each other, and they were laughing about something, but you had no context. Taeyeon then hit him playfully, and he then hit her back, and they had a play fight that ended with him pinning her against the mirror. You could smell the sexual tension through the door, and they could tell it between each other as well. He then dove in to kiss her, and it was so much more passionate than he ever had with you. You wanted to just go home and leave him, never even think of him again, but you came to get an explanation, so you pushed the door open and you stood there with crossed arms. They immediately tore away from each other. He didn’t even seem surprised to see that it was you, he was just trying to not look anyone in the eye. You then walked over to him, and he still avoided at contact. You kept trying to look at him, but he kept at it. You then grabbed his chin and yelled at him for his attention. He obeyed you then. You were going to focus on him and only him, and maybe if Taeyeon, if needed.

“Why have you been ignoring me? I think I know the answer, but I need to hear it from you. Is what I think is going on, going on?” He looked over to the side, and he sighed

“Yes, it’s what it looks like. I can’t hide that.” He was interrupted by you tugging his head down some and you held it back in place. You were on a thread to take any rage you had against him, but you knew you had to keep calm.

“What happened to us? What happened to you loving me? I waited for you, and I kept coming back, but you never came. What changed?”

“Things change.” You and Baekhyun looked back and say Taeyeon standing there, looking shy. Was she really the one to say that? What place did she even have in the conversation. You couldn’t even think of what to say now, so you just began to look around frantically, not knowing what to do. You could only look back to Baekhyun and say

“I hope you two are happy.” You then ran out past the door, through the hallways, and back out through the door that lead you to this discovery. You then leaned against the door, sliding down it, not trying to make any noise so the fans out front wouldn’t hear you. You couldn’t be there anymore, so you hopped in your car and drove home as fast as you could. You were scared as you noticed how fast you were going, but you made it home in one piece. You ran up to your apartment, and you froze there. Your phone buzzed again, but you couldn’t even think of who might be trying to contact you, so you threw your phone across the room and went into your bedroom, not even worried about who it was.

The next morning you walked past the hall on accidently on your phone. You then remembered that you left it there last night. You felt like it was time to see who it was from, and it was actually your brother. It was weird since he was from the States. He was giving a message to ask how you were doing lately. He also said there was an offer at his job for you to come and help him. He was wondering if you wanted it since he knew you didn’t really care for your current job. You dropped the phone from your ear, and held it by your side. A job in America? Was he really offering you that? It would be a good opportunity, so you tapped the callback button and waited at the dialtone. Your brother picked up at the first ring.

“Hey sis, I’m glad you called. You didn’t call back last night, it had me worried. So, have you consider-”

“Yes, I would love to. I’ll start packing.”

“Oh, sure, I’ll get online and pay for your ticket. I’ll get my own ticket so I can fly over and help you too.” You then negotiated times when you both could meet up and the moving schedule. Everything seemed to be going well, despite how bad everything was before. You were glad to recovering so fast, this was just what needed.

-4 Years Later-

Everything was going perfectly. You finally had a job you had passion in, and you loved becoming bilingual, you almost forgot all about your past. It came back into a dream of yours one night, and you took a small message from it: go to face your fears. You bought a ticket without your brother’s knowledge, and broke it to him that you needed a ride. You spoke of it like it was a small break.

“Are you sure you want to go? It’s been so long….” You’re brother was waiting with you at the airport. You needed to go, to face what made you leave in the first place.

“Yes, I have to go. It won’t be for long, it’s only a few days. Don’t worry too much.” You had to assure him that it was fine, but you really wanted to visit the S.M building, but he couldn’t know that. You had to go. So, you gave him a hug and you walked through the gate. The plane ride was boring, all you could think about was going to happen once you got there. You practically ran out of the gate in Seoul, and you wanted to go to the building first, but you had to drop off everything at your hotel first. You checked in and dropped your stuff on the bed. You then looked in the mirror, observing how you looked. You wanted to look your best, and you looked as good as you wanted to put in effort for, so you then walked out of the hotel and to S.M. It wasn’t a far walk, but it still made you nervous. You detested anyone who ever stood outside of these buildings, but today was a different story. You could already hear the girls standing around the entrance, screaming for their “oppas”, but you had to keep going. You went near the back of the crowd and saw girls holding up their phones. You saw they were screaming random things, but one girl was screaming “Baekyeon”, which was the “celebrity name” of your ex and the girl that stole him away. You tapped her on the shoulder, and you asked her why she was screaming that name.

“They were caught on another car date, and we want an explanation!” You looked at her, and you said something in a tone that lacked emotion, but had real meaning behind it

“A car date, huh? I hope they’re happy.”

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So how do you think I did? Was it what you were expecting? I’m hoping it was to your liking. If you haven’t already, follow for more content. I’m shoving material out as fast as I’m willing to put out and have it still be good, so be on the lookout for my new scenarios! I hope you liked the piece, and I hope you have a good day anon!