if so

Altitude (m)

Word count: 5,187

Warning: Jimin smut

“Cheers.”

You take a swig from the bottle in your hand, savouring the sharp flavour on your tongue you’ve been waiting for all day long.

The boy next to you, impatiently holding out his hand, rolls his eyes when you let out a fulfilled sigh. “Dude, it’s just vodka with fucking water.”

“Fuck off, Yoongi,” you respond, showing your affection for the guy by taking a sip. Only when he basically rips it out of your hands do you hand it to him with offendedly. “Fine, take it.”

Yoongi leans back until his head hits the brick wall, then copies your actions. “Fucking hell, Jimin again today.”

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anonymous asked:

Uf, ut sans reaction to having an s/o who's hosting a cat playdate/bithday party , where the s/o invites all they're cats friends from the neiberhood, and they all do the things humans do for birthdays.

UF!Sans:

Red nopes out of there so fast.  Nope.  He can’t do this.  

“uh, i think i left the stove on… in snowdin.  better go check on it.”

He makes a beeline for the exit, but Edge is there with Doomfanger!  “EXCELLENT TIMING, BROTHER.”  Edge thrusts Doomfanger into Red’s arms, while Red stares straight ahead with hollow sockets.  “DOOMFANGER IS HERE FOR THE PLAYDATE.  MAKE SURE NOTHING HAPPENS TO MY CAT OR I’LL TAKE YOUR FEMUR FOR HER NEW SCRATCHING POST!”

Red begins to sweat.  “i was actually headin’ out, so–”

Edge leans forward, narrowing his eyesockets.  “ARE YOU ATTEMPTING TO SKIRT YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES, SANS?”

Red stiffens, shaking his head.  “i jus’ don’t see why you can’t watch your own damn cat.”

Edge glowers, the air turning dangerously charged.  “I HAVE TO GET TO WORK.  YOUR DATEMATE STATED THAT YOU WOULD BE HERE TO WATCH DOOMFANGER.  ARE YOU SAYING THAT WAS A LIE?”

*shit.

“n-nope, not at all.  you can count on me, boss.”  His smile is tight.  

“THAT REMAINS TO BE SEEN.”

As soon as Edge leaves, the cat begins hissing at Red.  “stupid fuckin’ cat…” he mutters, and the Doomfanger starts clawing at his face.  Red shouts, letting go of the feline, which then proceeds to run off toward the party.  Red ends up trapped there, running around and trying to keep Doomfanger in line, while becoming grouchier and grouchier. 

He breaks up with the s/o afterward.  He really doesn’t do cats.

UT!Sans:

A cat birthday party?  Welp, this is hilarious.

Sans invites Catty as a party coordinator, and she goes over-the-top with cat decorations.  Sans is even wearing a galaxy-print T-shirt with a cat sitting on a PB&J sandwich.  He doesn’t know why that shirt exists, but it’s perfect for the party.

“or should i say purr-fect?”

“What is?” his s/o asks, and Sans grins wider.  

“this shirt.  isn’t it the cat’s pajamas?”

Yes, this entire party is just an excuse for him to use every cat pun in his extensive arsenal.  

“everyone having a good time and feline fine?”

“i’m not kitten you.  the water’s been spiked with cat-nip.  they cat seem to nip the habit in the bud.”

“i’m pawsitive.”

“ready for me to bring out the catfish?”

“actually, scratch that.  it sounds like something they’d be furbidden from eating.”

“did i make you uncomfurtible?”

“what’s wrong?  cat handle these jokes?”

(* Mobile Imagine Masterlist  )

4

Fun fact: I had actually coloured this gif before putting an orange layer over it.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any prompts where person A and person B are servants of someone else but their master/mistress totally ships them?

//As I’m uncomfortable any other way, I’m assuming these servants are getting paid for their duties. 

“I’m just trying to do my job. Stop locking me in the closet with them, please.”

“I’m hoping my matchmaking efforts will pay off.”

“I am not getting paid enough for this.”

“Why can’t they see they’re totally meant for each other?”

Laito: Look, I made a to-do list. *hands over a piece of paper*

Yui: This just says “bitch-chan” on it.

Laito: I know.