if only i had money!

I like tea lattes and I usually get mine with soy but I forgot to change the milk in my order today and got a dairy one. I had a few sips before I realized my mistake but like can we talk about how gross dairy tastes? Tf like I used to love dairy and I could drink so much of it but it tastes so nasty now. Rip me.


21 November 2016

Exactly one year to the day since I came out.

It’s been a tough year. Some friends left, others stuck by me, and many more were made.

I lost my job 7 months ago and survived rejection after rejection until finally being accepted for a job that’s perfect for me last week. It’s my first day today as well!

There have been times I haven’t had enough money to feed myself. I’ve only just turned the heating on. I thought that soon I would be homeless.

There were times I almost didn’t make it at all but I fought on and survived.

And all of this while trying to adjust to the most life changing event of my time on Earth.

And now today is my anniversary. And today I start my first new job in 10 years. It’s a day of beginnings.

Time to release that pent up energy.

Here’s to another year.

© Owning It Since 2015

My favorite part of Scarecrows original origin story was the fact that fear wasn’t even his prime motivation. It was books. His fellow professors nicknamed him the scarecrow on campus because he spent his salary on books instead of a nice suit, and this got Crane thinking: “They judge human values by money–If I had money they’d respect me–and I could buy more books! Yes if only I had more money.”

And I just find that so amusing.
He did get a new suit at least, one made of burlap.

Grand Prix San Jose, and a Woman’s Place

I spent this weekend at Grand Prix San Jose with some friends, and it was my second Grand Prix, my first Grand Prix entry, and on top of all that, the first vacation financed with only my money! I had a great time, opened some sweet cards, and all in all, had a great time.

Between rounds, I got to chatting with a woman and her teenage son between rounds about general Magic and Sealed nonsense. At one point, the mother stopped in the middle of her sentence, pointed behind me, and said “Seven.”

I turned around confused and asked her what that was about. She told me that was the seventh woman she’d seen at the event. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized just how male dominated the event was. I had seen seven guys loitering between my Lyft and the front door, a distance of about thirty feet. My scientific mind went to work, and I spent the rest of the weekend keeping an eye out. How many are there? What events are they playing? Are they alone? Why are there so few?

After 2 ½ unscientific days, I estimate there to have been about 1 woman for every 20 participants. Many of them were there with friends, and very few of them were in the main event. I didn’t understand. Why are there so few? I know plenty of women play (see the MTG community on Tumblr) but why was my digital reality so different from my paper reality?

Conveniently enough, this was the same weekend @zoe-of-the-veil started her lady mtg discord server, and subsequent dicourse on sexism in the Magic community at large.

I’m fortunate enough to be friends with some pretty outspoken women in the Magic community (namely @chelsea-beleren-vess and @sunshine-spice) and they shared their own horror stories with me. It was these stories, and others I had seen and heard online that helped me understand why there were so few women there. They felt unsafe, uncomfortable, afraid, pick your adjective.  I’m positive many of the women reading this are nodding in agreement, remembering their own unfortunate experiences, or those of a friend, while the men, like me, may be saying “I’ve never seen that!” or, “I’d never do that!”

I felt uncomfortable. I had to face the fact that a game I have spent over half my life enjoying was effectively blocked off to half of the world, because of factors beyond their control. I wondered what I could do. None of these horror stories sounded anything like what I’d say or do, but I know “Not all men.” is far from reassuring. Bad apples, you know?

I thought about other times I’d been faced with an unwelcoming environment, and how I had changed it. I realized the most powerful tool I had was my voice. I could speak up. I had an obligation to use my whiteness, my gender, and my confidence to change this. I had to get ahead of the train, and call out the sexist, racist, and otherwise degenerate behavoir before it pushes people out the door. I feel like that is a responsibility shared by every man in our community. Not out of some chivalrous obligation to women, but out of a love for the game. Why would you force people away from something you love, especially if they could love it too?

Every person we get playing is a person we can collaborate with, compete with, make friends with. A bigger audience, more players, can only make the game better for everyone involved.

The onus is on established members of the community to use our voices and raport to be the change we want to see in the world. People will almost certainly accuse me of bubble-wrapping, or baby-proofing the community. Others will whine to me about “being too politically-correct” or cite my arguments as “political corectess gone too far.” Complaints about political correctness, and refusing to adapt to a wider audience are signs that these changes need to be made.

Rome was not built in a day. I don’t expect 1000 women at Grand Prix Pittsburg next week, but change has to start somewhere. If you see something, say something. Together, you and I can invent our tomorrow.

mercuryblacksleg replied to your post “me: funko pop figures arent very exciting also me: a lucio funko pop…”

I admittedly have 5 of the things and only one of them was a gift, fuck the haters, they make me happy

a. what are they of, b. can i seeeeee themmmmm, c. you’ve enabled me and now im almost certain to buy the lucio one bc i LOVE HIM, d. if i do that im gonna be tempted to get like dva or tracer or someone so he’ll have a friend :”) (plus im just super curious to see how the dva mech is gonna like??? exist??)

quick VS pink haul

10.50 x 18 pairs

I actually felt really guilty knowing that I would keep all of these. Does this ever happen to any of you? You know you’ve got bills to pay, your parents are struggling, and you could really use the boosting money? But I only had 5 pairs of underwear before this. I legitimately needed these. It’s hard to boost when the things you take are the bare minimum of what you need. Idk. Maybe it’s just me.