“Seventeen” Dean Winchester x Reader
BASED OFF OF THE SONG “SEVENTEEN”
Word Count: 2,155
Dean Winchester x Reader
Request: Could you please do a dean x reader song fic (song: seventeen from the heathers musical) and it’s really angsty and stuff while it’s taking place when they are both seventeen?
Warnings: Language, like pure angst to be honest
a/n: I’ve never done a song fic before, hope you like this!!
Fine, we’re damaged
But that does not make us wise
We’re not special, we’re not different
We don’t choose who lives or dies
Dean Winchester. The man of your dreams.
You two have known each other your entire lives. You’re Bobby’s daughter, which meant being forced to spend a shit ton of time together. Whenever your parents would be out on hunts, you would be stuck with Sam and Dean. The troublesome trio, they called you guys.
You and Dean got together when you were both fifteen, only two years ago. He was hesitant at first, but hell, so were you. You both had reputations to uphold. Dean was the player, a guy who fucked guys just to not call them back the next day. You were the innocent “little” girl, you’d never even kissed a boy before Dean.
But on the inside, you were the same. You’re both inexplicitly damaged from your childhoods, the way you grew up. You grew up a hunter’s life. You got to see people saved, but you also got to see so many people die. The ones you couldn’t save. Between that, constantly moving high schools, and both of your mom’s dying, you were damaged. The both of you. And that bonded you guys more than anything. More than the forced hangouts, or your dads being best friends. You’re both the same on the inside.
Let’s be normal, see bad movies
Sneak a beer and watch tv
We’ll bake brownies or go bowling
Don’t you want a life with me?
Can we be seventeen?
That’s all I want to do
If you could let me in
I could be good with you
“Dean, I’m absolutely tired of this life. I want to do something, something normal. Just this once.” You frowned. You were sitting next to Dean on the couch, watching some utterly boring film on the TV.
“Babe, you know we can’t. We’re not normal.” Dean looked at you sympathetically. He knew that you had wanted out of this life. Personality wise, you were a lot like Sam.
You didn’t mind hunting, but you just wished you could be normal for once. For one day, you just wanted to be able to go into high school and not feel the odd one out. You wanted to be able to go hang out with friends, go get drunk underneath the bleachers, go on dates with Dean like a normal couple… But you couldn’t.
“Well, fuck that. Just one day, Dean. I’m not asking for an entire life.” You voice had started to raise.
This was an argument you’d had with Dean numerous times. He didn’t want out, not even for one day. He was too damn focused on pleasing his dad and doing exactly what he says. You? You couldn’t have care less what your dad told you to do. You’re your own person. Dean just didn’t understand that.
“One day is going to turn into you wanting that forever. I’m not fucking around with that. I don’t want either of us to have a glimpse into the normal life. Neither of us will want to come back to this if we do.” Dean raised his voice back, almost at a yelling level.
“Maybe not wanting to come back to this is a good thing, Dean.” You whispered, and his face dropped.
“I cannot believe you just said that.” Dean shook his head.
“I’m just so goddamn tired of this, Dean! It doesn’t have to be this way! I want to be able to go out with friends and see movies or go to the mall. I’ve never even gone to a movie theater, or a mall, Dean. It’s not fucking fair.”
“We have this same fight over and over again. I’m done.” Dean got up off the couch, walking away from you.
“Are you breaking up with me?” Tears had started to form in your eyes. You loved him, there was no question about it. People say that you can’t be in love at seventeen, but you knew it was possible. Dean was the living, breathing proof.
“No, babe. I love you. But I’m done with this same fucking argument all the time. We’re never going to be normal. It’s never going to happen. And if you don’t start realizing that…” He trails off.
Dean doesn’t finish his sentence. He just shakes his head and walks out the door, leaving you alone in your house. You don’t dare let the tears fall- you’re stronger than that. Or you want to be.
People hurt us
Or they vanish
And you’re right that really blows
But we let go, take a deep breath
Then go buy some summer clothes
“He fucking left. He didn’t even tell us this time, Y/N. Just woke up in the middle of the damn night and he was gone. No note, no nothing.” Dean had showed up on your front doorstep, Sam standing to his right. They were both holding backpacks (presumably filled with clothing) and his car parked in the driveway.
“Oh my god. Come inside.” You opened the door for them both. It was late at night, and your dad was out at a bar probably getting drunk like he did most nights. His reputation of being the town drunk rung true to name.
Sam immediately went upstairs, setting his stuff down in your room. Dean had just put his stuff down the by door, pissed off. On the outside he looked calm, but you knew him. You could tell he was upset.
“He normally leaves notes, or wakes me up whenever he has to leave. Hell, he normally takes us with him, or drops us off here. But he just fucking left. Nothing.” Dean rubs his forehead. “I had absolutely no explanation for Sammy.”
Dean was right to be mad, and you didn’t protest it. You didn’t agree with what John did.
“Just take a deep breath, okay?” You had walked over to him, putting your arm on his shoulder. You’ve found in the past that you touching him, not even in the sexual sense, was the best way to calm him down. Almost immediately, his body relaxed and he pulled you into a hug. “Obviously you’re welcome to stay here. I’ll find an explanation to tell my dad.”
“Thanks.” Dean kissed your forehead. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
You watched him as he went upstairs, going to find Sam.
You wished that it didn’t have to be like that. You wanted more than anything for Sam and Dean to not have to experience this, especially Dean. Whenever his dad pulled shit like that, Dean not only had to deal with the feeling of his dad leaving them, but he was forced into the role of a father figure for Sam.
Your own daddy issues were no small aspect of your life, either. If your dad wasn’t out hunting, he was at a bar drinking his feelings away. Being numb to the world, including his own daughter. You were completely and entirely alone, except for Dean.
The one reoccurring and prominent question you asked yourself everyday- “Why can’t we just be normal?”
We’ll go camping, play some poker
And we’ll eat some chilli fries
Maybe prom night
Don’t stop looking in my eyes (your eyes)
This was it. Prom night. The night you’d been looking forward to for the longest time- the one night Dean had agreed to do something normal and fun, even if it wasn’t to his liking. You had told him that you were going to go with or without him. You were determined to have at least one good high school experience before you were fully thrusted into the world of hunting. Dean’s mind wandered, and his jealously overcame him, and he agreed to go to the prom with you.
You had a dress picked out and everything- which, much to your dismay, your dad wouldn’t give you money to buy. You had to get a job to pay for it, and after a month, you had accumulated the money for a dress. You quit shortly afterwards.
You had on your dress and your heels, your makeup and hair all done. For once in your life, you felt beautiful. You had no doubt that this was going to be the best night of your life, and it only made it better that your Dean was going to be there with you. In a suit no less. You had always thought he’d look good in a suit.
It was nearing seven, almost time for Dean to pick you up. Your nerves were growing, and you just wished you had your mom with you at that moment.
Seven came and passed, Dean still hadn’t showed up. You were worried, thinking something had happened, so you had picked up the phone to call him.
“Dean?” You said when the other line picked up, making sure it wasn’t John or Sam answering.
“Oh my god, babe, I forgot to call.” Dean groaned. “A hunt came up last minute. I’m so so fucking sorry.”
You hung up immediately, tears forming in your eyes. This time, you let them fall. How could you have been so stupid to think that you could have one normal night with Dean?
You ran up to your room, tearing your dress off of you. Dean was right. You never were going to have a normal relationship. You were a Singer. He was a Winchester. It wasn’t in your blood.
Yeah we’re damaged,
But your love’s too good to lose
Hold me tighter
I’ll stay if I’m what you choose
Can we be seventeen?
If I am what you choose
If we still have the right
Because you’re the one I choose
You had ignored Dean for weeks. At first, it was just not picking up his phone calls. Then, when Dean realized you weren’t going to answer, he showed up at your house. You didn’t let him in.
Finally, you had decided he enough of the silent treatment. You took your dad’s car and drove to his house. He wasn’t home yet, so you waited for him on his front porch. The look on his face when he saw you was one of pure love. You wish you had gotten a picture of it.
“God, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Dean hugged you tighter than ever. “Are we okay?”
“We need to talk.” Is simply what you had told him. He nodded, and you two walked into his house.
“Are you breaking up with me?” His voice hitched a little bit, worry seeping into his voice.
“I just…” You started. “I need reassurance. I can’t keep doing this. All the fights, all the nights I have spent crying. You not showing up to what I considered to be the most important night of my life.” You sent him a glare on that last one.
“That was out of my control.”
“No, Dean, it wasn’t. You know very damn well you didn’t have to go.” You yell, and the look on his face proves that you were right.
“I just wanted to be a normal seventeen year old for one night, Dean. One fucking night. And you found the first excuse to dip out. I’m over it. If you want me to stay, you’re going to have to choose. It’s either me or it’s your big fucking desire to please your dad. Because I’m tired of this. I know you, I know you don’t want this life either. No matter how hard you try and deny it, I can see right through you. You just for some reason have this dire need to make your dad happy.”
“Are you really asking me to choose?” His voice comes out hurt. “Baby, don’t do this to me… I can’t do that.”
“Dean, I chose you. I choose you every single time, over everything. Even before we were together. I love you so much, but I can’t do this. Not if you’re going to be like this. I can’t. We want different things.” Your eyes start to water. For once, you realized that this might be it. You might actually lose Dean. The thought of that scares you to death.
And when Dean just stared at you in silence, you got your answer. You let a tear fall down your cheek. Dean himself was crying, too, at this point. You’d never seen Dean cry before.