if mama was married

Musicals I know nothing about but my siblings love
  • Heathers: main chick straight up vigilante murders her boyfriend
  • Newsies: Gay, that's it. Everyone is gay
  • Rent: Film dude never gets the girl
  • Les mis: everything is sung and Sophie from Mama Mia marries Eddie Redmayne.
  • Into the woods: Grimms brothers with a sound track
  • Wicked: the wicked witch is gay(?) for Gilinda?????
  • Annie: little redhead adopts bald man
8

TEEN WOLF AU: Derek Hale works alongside his sister Laura Hale at the Beacon Hills Sheriff Department, both as deputies, and he mainly works with the K-9 Unit, even fostering some of the dogs before their training. Stiles Stilinski works alongside his brother Scott McCall as paramedics for Beacon County. Both Derek and Stiles often see each other at scenes and they work well together, despite the bickering that the rest of their teams/friends have viewed. Then one day when Stiles and Scott are out on a heart attack call downtown, Derek gets hurt in a volatile situation. Stiles ends up telling the rougish deputy about his feelings after Derek awakes in the hospital with Stiles sleeping in an uncomfortable chair by his bedside (where Stiles had been every spare moment he’d had), and it turns out that Derek also has feelings for Stiles. The bickering turns out to be their version of foreplay. Deputy Erica Reyes wins the pool on when the two idiots where going to get together, and when Stiles brings Derek over for family dinner it’s the Sheriff who threatens Stiles against hurting Derek, much to the amusement of everyone at the table. 

for @alqhamccall, last year I made you sciles, this year you get sterek. HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN!!! :* :* 

  • Zack: Why do you have a Chinese last name?
  • Trini: Why don't you?
  • Zack: I do. It's Tang. My parents Americanized their names when they immigrated. Your turn.
  • Zack: (rolls his eyes) I mean, if you want. I respect your privacy blah blah blah.
  • Trini: Trinidad Mercedes Quiñones de Lupo y Kwan. Quiñones is my actual last name. Kwan is my mom's Vietnamese stepdad's last name. But because of Spanish naming conventions, it gets tacked on to mine last, and that's how it is on my school file now.
  • Trini: (grabs Kimberly who's passing through the hall; to Zack) You gonna ask this gringa why she's got a white name?
  • Kimberly: My last name's Hart because my dad's white. But I'm not a gringa. My mom's Indian.
  • Trini: In my defense, I've only seen her once. Thought she was Italian.
  • Kimberly: She wears a bindi.
  • Trini: So does Ariana Grande.
  • Zack: (grabs Billy) Hey, bro, we're asking everybody why they have the surnames they do.
  • Billy: (matter-of-factly) Slavery.
  • Zack: Awesome. (grabs Jason) Dude, we're having an awkward conversation about our last names. You white as you sound?
  • Jason: Yes. All my ancestors were Scotsmen who came to Angel Grove during the Gold Rush, and before that they were all probably Pilgrims or something.
Eric Richard Bittle is Jewish Pt 2: Zimbits

If you haven’t read part 1 already I suggest reading that now! It makes this make sense!

https://jewishnursey.tumblr.com/post/161849727360/eric-richard-bittle-is-jewish

Anyways, as promised here’s part 2
tw: antisemitism tw: homophobia tw: slurs

Bitty is Jewish.
This we know.
Bitty grew up feeling shame for his Jewish identity.
This we also know.

But what you may not realize is that Bitty has always had a thing for Jewish men, whether he wanted to or not.

Bitty’s first crush was Jeff Goldblum. His daddy had let him watch Jurassic Park behind his mama’s back once when Bitty was 10.

He thought that his son’s transfixed eyes and rising blush were to do with Laura Dern, and chuckled softly at his son’s infatuation.

But no. It was Jeff Goldblum. All 6"4, big nosed, strong jawed nice Jewish boy that was the actor being chased by dinosaurs.

It didn’t stop there, there was Adam Shapiro at his temple who was in high school when Bitty was in middle school, and who sang for the choir. It made Bitty’s knees wobble.

Then they moved, and in his Freshman year of highs school, Jacob Ruben was Bitty’s partner for the science project. Of course Bitty developed a crush, Jacob had kind eyes and a brilliant smile. They became good friends.

That ended when Bitty found Jacob being cornered by some guys after school one day. “Kill the Jew! Kill the Jew!” They chanted cruelly, each statement punctuated by a swift kick to the ribs.

“Stop it!” Bitty yelled at the mob, “leave him alone!”

“Shit, do you hear this f*g?” One of the boys chuckled, “get him.”

They chased Bitty into a dumpster, and then proceeded to kick and push it with Bitty inside.

They called him all sorts of things, none that hurt nearly as much as thinking about Jacob hunched over, bruises kissing his side, blood dribbling out of his nose.

The next Monday when Jacob didn’t show up to his science class, Bitty knew he wouldn’t be back.

Jacob had paid the price for being the Jew at this school. Bitty wished he didn’t know how that felt.

Thinking back to his own head slamming against the inside of the dumpster wall, perhaps Bitty would pay twice the price,

For being the Jew
and for loving the Jew.

After that day, Bitty had vowed to marry a goy as his mama had before him.

She had the right idea. He wouldn’t get hurt that way, he wouldn’t have to watch someone he loved be hurt that way either. It was just easier.

But then something miraculous happens that changes things,

he meets Jack Zimmermann.

The first day of practice, when Jack introduces himself to the team as the captain, Bitty thinks about Jurassic Park.

He sees high cheekbones, sharp jaw and nose, dark, wild hair and eyebrows, and suddenly he’s 14 and watching Jeff Goldblum for the 100th time, sweating a little under his blush.

He ignores the pang in his chest and proceeds to convince himself that Jack hates him.

It’s easier if Jack hates him. Bitty’s more comfortable with being hated than daring to follow his heart.

Then the team finds out he’s Jewish and everything changes again.

Bitty goes to Hillel with Jack sometimes and it’s great, better than he ever thought it could be. Before he knows it, he’s falling deeper.

It scares him how much he likes Jack.

One day Bitty is at Hillel with Holster, and he spots two boys holding each other’s hands during the sh'ma.

Bitty stares at them the whole time, to a point where even Holster notices and whispers, “Bits? You good?”

“Holster, they’re holding hands.” Bitty whispers back.

“Uh, yeah.” As if it’s the most obvious thing, as if Holster has seen this a thousand times.

“Holster,” Bitty whispers a bit more forcefully catching the eye of a few students around them, “two boys are holding hands, at temple, and nobody is saying anything.”

“You’re saying something.” Holster points out, “besides Bits, it’s Samwell, look at the company you’re with, it’s not unheard of for two boys to hold hands around here.”

It clicks then, like a joint going back into place. Bitty’s fears float away for the moment.

It’s ok.

After that, Bitty comes out to his Moomaw. He figures if there is ever a first step, she is it.

He almost cried when he lets the words “I’m gay” fall from his lips, but he holds it together until she starts to tell him how much she loves him.

“Now,” she says after she’s had enough of the tears, “is there a special fella you’ve got your eyes on?”

Bitty thinks on that a moment, lets his brain flood with images of blue eyes, broad nose and even broader shoulders.

He flushes.

“Oooohhhh goody! Now, I know your mama married a goy, and you know I love your daddy, but is he Jewish?” She asked a little more than hopeful.

“Yes.” Bitty replied, easy as pie.

He doesn’t remember ever smiling so bright.

Animal Crossing Starters:
  • “I figured you must be blackmailing that poor girl to have lunch with you.”
  • “I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty sexy.”
  • “I don’t want to live in a world where I have to eat sugar free sugar cookies.”
  • “I remembered today was your birthday so I thought I’d say hi.”
  • “You have nothing to lose except your lonely loser status.”
  • “Shut it, you faker!”
  • “I sure am tired from all that relaxing I did today.”
  • “Then I can spend my entire allowance on comic books and video games and no one can stop me.”
  • “When you listen to pop music, you often hear them saying ‘shawty.’”
  • “[NAME] made fun of me because I say 'poot’ all the time.”
  • “I waited and waited because I really wanted to see you.”
  • “Tell papa/mama what’s up.”
  • “It hurts my face just looking at you.”
  • “Marry me.”
  • “I look forward to seeing what you’re gonna do with my butt.”
  • “A trash bin..? Is this a clue to your true identity?”
  • “I’m beautiful, but I’m also deadly.”
  • “I hope you go to jail.”
  • “What did you do to my body?”
  • “Stick to chocolate and comic books. You’re too young for love anyway.”
  • “I’m sorry.. please don’t be too mad at me.”
  • “I have a big favor to ask you.”
  • “Maybe I’ll just go home and lock myself in a closet.”
  • “I gotta admit, I really love that one show where all those people do the stuff and then something happens.”
  • “Here, touch my skin. It’s totally slimy right now.”
  • “I probably look in the mirror 24 times a day just to be sure I’m still so darned handsome/beautiful.”
  • “Guess what I’ve got in my pockets right now.”
  • “Better not catch you making goo-goo eyes at my wife/husband.”
  • “No one understands me. I’m hungry all the time and no one cares.”
  • “Are you suggesting my style is outdated?”
  • “Don’t play with stink bugs, especially when you’ve got a date coming up.”
  • “They don’t even care who wins. They just all flex their pecs.”
  • “Love means accepting that there will be times when you don’t get the last scallop.”
  • “Yeah exercise is totally hard and stuff. I think I’m gonna go take a nap and read a book or whatever.”
  • “Today was the day my best friend in the whole wide world was born.”
  • “Whoa you look so weird. And not weird in a hip way. More like 'weird’ as in 'makes me want to barf.’”
  • “End my suffering.”
  • “Not to sound corny but I really like you.”
  • “I wonder how I can say 'swaggy ’ in the most grown up way possible.”
  • “Just because two people are good friends doesn’t mean they’d make a good couple.”
  • “Sorry, I was staring at your face because I don’t know you. Not because there’s something wrong with your face.”
  • “Would it surprise you if I said I’m pretty proud of my legs?”
  • “The truth is never free.. but sometimes it’s on sale.”
  • “I hear the sound of rap coming from somewhere.”
  • “They tell you to sleep on a problem. But what if your problem is insomnia?”
  • “I’ll just observe your friends from the shadows.”
  • “I heard allergies are caused by the government.”
  • “Watch out, 'cause I’ll compliment you until you puke.”
  • “So D.I.Y. stands for 'do it yourself’? Well, if these guys think I’m going to do my own manual labor, they’ve got another acronym coming.”
  • “I can smell your confidence. Smells like soup.”
  • “I’m gay.”
  • “You’re my hero.”
  • “Please don’t call on me.”
  • “I think I dropped my house key somewhere. That was my favorite key… it opened my house.”
  • “Do you want to hear the brutal truth? That outfit is a hot mess.”
  • “Oh, I get it! You’re playing it cool. Trying your best not to cry.”
jack/bitty hp au

Bitty won’t meet his eyes, instead focusing on the pebble he’s nudging with the toe of his shoe. Jack more than understands, a linked gaze gives intimacy, and intimacy has power. It’s easier to make vulnerable confessions when you pretend you’re sharing it with the air instead of another vessel.

 “Coach never liked it much. ‘Course he married my mama, but I think it had more to do with him loving her more than he hated magic.”

“Coach?”

Bitty’s face offers a patient smile, “Not Quidditch, honey. He has about as much magic as this here rock.” 

Jack decides not to remark that all things have the potential for magic, even a rock. It’s unnecessary, he understands what Bittle meant and really, that’s not the point. 

“He doesn’t hate you?”

It was meant to be a statement, an insistence, but it comes out more like a question. Surely Bitty’s dad doesn’t hate him. Jack finds it difficult to believe that anyone could hate Bittle. He conveniently ignores the whisper in the rustle of the trees reminding him that You did

Keep reading

imagine how much better the Thor movies would’ve been if Frigga were actually written in a realistic way rather than a ‘women don’t talk when the menfolk are talking’ way

I mean she’s a powerful magic user and more importantly she’s a MOM. Thor and Loki wouldn’t have gotten away with SHIT. The entire goddamn plot never would’ve happened, no wonder they dumbed her down.

Frigga would’ve busted in like “NO THOR, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO JOTUNHEIMR, YOU’RE GOING TO YOUR ROOM. YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK. SIF, HOGUN, FANDRALL, VOLSTAGG, YOU’RE ALL GROUNDED FOR A WEEK. I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE ADULTS, I AM YOUR QUEEN AND YOU ARE ALL GROUNDED.”

and then she’d whip it around on Loki like “DON’T YOU LAUGH. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. YOU WANT YOUR FATHER TO HEAR HOW FROST GIANTS GOT INTO ASGARD? THEN YOU’D BETTER GET YOUR BUTT IN YOUR ROOM TOO, YOUNG MAN. THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE GOING TO BE FOR THE NEXT CENTURY.”

3

26 April 1923 - Wedding of Prince Albert, Duke of York and Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon 

Dearest Bertie,
You are indeed a lucky man to have such a charming and delightful wife as Elizabeth & I am sure you will both be very happy together & I trust you both will have many, many years of happiness before you, & that you will be as happy as Mama and I are, after you have been married 30 years, I can’t wish you more…
I am certain that Elizabeth will be a splendid partner in your work, & share with you & help you in all you have to do.
Wishing you & Elizzbeth every good luck & a very happy honeymoon.
Ever my dear boy
Your most devoted Papa

King George V to his son Prince Albert

anonymous asked:

k so there's this Nasty blog i found that says a lot of stuff about aphrodite 'striking down het guys who pretend to be lesbians' (aka trans lesbians) so... got any headcanons of aphrodite supporting her trans daughters piper/drew/etc?

I’VE SEEN THAT BLOG >:0 it makes me so angry!!!!! te/rfs aint worth shit, my friend, trust me. lesbians love women, ter/fs hate women … my only conclusion is that ter/fs are the fake lesbians, not beautiful incredible trans women and trans girls. i recommend following @translesbianaphrodite! they’re nearing their follower goal and their blog is just lovely! they post all kinds of positivity, mostly at sapphic ppl, especially of the trans/not cis variety! (and they are a hellenic polytheist like yours truly!) send them some nice messages too, if you’d like, they certainly deserve them! 

anyways, on to the Good Stuff ™ 

DREW

- Drew Tanaka knew she was trans from basically birth. She was born, heard the doctor say “congratulations, it’s a boy!” and smacked the midwife over the-

Just kidding. But, really, from a very young age, she knew she was a girl. And we all know how Drew is - she doesn’t take no for an answer and she does not like being told she’s wrong. Her mama (not Aphrodite, other mama) has the obligatory few moments of “wow my son is really girly haha” before realizing “oh shit my son is actually a girl. uh. daughter i mean” and so she prays to Aphrodite, who she loved and who loved her. She asks Aphrodite what she can do to help her daughter. And Aphrodite like.. just shows up, says “Okay, check this out” and walks over to Drew. 

“Hey pretty girl!” Aphrodite greets her. “Do you know me?”

And Drew pauses from scratching her nose for a few seconds to look at the goddess Aphrodite. “You’re my mom, duh.”

And Aphrodite laughs. “I sure am. I don’t often get the time to check up on my babies, but I wanted to see how my little girl was doing.”

“I’m okay, I guess.” Drew shrugs. “I’m playing trucks, which is alright. People don’t know this, but the red one goes way faster.”

“I’ll bet it does. Red is one of my favorite colors.”

Drew brightens up a little, pushes her short, straight hair out of her eyes to look up at her mother. “It’s mine too! I guess that’s why you’re my mom.”

When Drew turns away to grab more of her toys to show her mom, Aphrodite turns to Mama Tanaka and gestures. ‘Just like that,’ she mouths. And Mama Tanaka understands.

-

This continues for some time, Mama not understanding exactly what Drew needs. It took her a long, long time just to accept that she herself enjoyed the ‘company’ of other women - this trans stuff is hard to get used to. Not for a moment does she ever make that Drew’s problem. When Drew doesn’t want to change her name (”What do you mean? Drew is a girl’s name because I’m a girl. Do you think it’s a boy’s name?” “Of course not, pumpkin.”), when Drew wants her nails painted a different color every nail, when Drew wants her hair done up in pigtails even though it’s still too short…. Mama never makes it Drew’s problem. She and Drew work together to find a solution, and Mama works to understand Drew.

When Drew comes home from school talking about a ‘pretty girl i’m gonna marry one day’, Mama isn’t sure what to think. This should be one of the easier once, since it’s something she’s quite used to feeling too, but she wishes she could call on Aphrodite every time something happened. Parenting was hard. She never, ever wanted to hurt Drew. So she calls on Aphrodite through the ways she knows how; memory.

Like Aphrodite did so long ago, Mama takes it in stride, smiles reassuringly. “Is that so? Is she very pretty?” (”The prettiest!”)

Mama does this every time something like this happens. Every time a kid at school says something cruel, or Drew gets another crush, or her daughter picks up a new interest, or anything at all, Mama smiles and pets her hair and encourages her. She doesn’t make a big deal out of things, doesn’t ask accusatory questions. She’s gentle like sea foam on sand, like a breeze that shakes the flame of a candle but does not blow it out. She becomes that which reminds her of the lover she once had, the lover that gave her her beloved daughter, her Drew.

-

i just know that if i keep writing this is going to end up 100k words so uh…. i’ll keep working on it privately and maybe post it on ao3 because i am yelling and i didnt realize this was something i loved this much omg… thank you for sending the ask! - mod will

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If Mama Was Married - Gypsy

Can’t stop laughing

Imagine Chris and your daughter surprising you at work.

A/N: I’m on a roll, two in one day. :D Sooooo muuuuuch fluuuufff. You need to just have a kid already, Chris, so you can be the cutest, bestest dad around. X

Your four year old daughter held her dad’s large hand as they walked through the hallways of Paramount Studio looking for you. They were running errands when they drove past the studio and decided to surprise you with a drop-in, mainly because your daughter couldn’t wait till tonight to give you the rose she- well, Chris bought you.

“Do you think Mama is going like this?” Harper looked up at her dad with your pretty Y/E/C eyes, holding up the single red rose; Chris nodded, smiling. “But wouldn’t she want more than one rose?”

“It’s the thought that counts, bug.” Chris scooped her up into his arms and poked her sides, making her giggle. “And it doesn’t matter how many roses you get Mama, she’s going to love it anyway ‘cause she’s a sucker for roses.”

You were right behind them when Chris said that, as one of your interns had informed you that your husband and daughter were wandering the hallways looking for you. You chuckled softly at the language your husband had chosen to use around your impressionable four year old. It wasn’t bad per se, but it wasn’t a word you wanted your four year old to be spouting.

“She’s also a sucker for chocolates,” Harper said and Chris nodded; another chuckle escaped your throat and you shook your head in disapproval. “We should’ve got her some. I think she likes the golden ones, the ones with the wrappers that she makes into tiny roses.”

“You mean Ferrero Rochers?” Chris quizzed and Harper nodded. “Well done, bug. That is one of your mom’s favorite chocolates and I picked up some at the supermarket. Look at you,” he chuckled, “you’ve got the memory of an elephant.” He made elephant noises, making her laugh and you smile; his choice of words weren’t always the best, but he was still an amazing husband and father.

“Well well well, look who we have here.” You began and Chris turned around with Harper in his arms; both their eyes lit up upon seeing you. “What are you two trouble makers up to?” You asked as you walked over.

“Mama!” Harper barreled towards you as soon as Chris put her down. You bent over, catching and lifting her into your arms when she jumped. “Mama, I’ve missed you so much.” She whispered into your ear, wrapping her small arms around your neck.

“Hey you,” you smiled at Chris as he placed a hand on your arm, leaning forward to peck you on the lips. “What’s that?” You gasped excitedly when Chris pulled away and Harper leaned back to give you the rose she bought you. “Wow, thank you sweetheart. This just made my day,” you smacked a loud kiss on her cheek and she giggled.

“We just thought we’d drop by and see you, give you a few hugs and kisses because you’ve got a long day ahead of you.” Chris told you and Harper nodded in agreement; you smiled. “How’s everything sailing?” He asked and you hugged Harper, holding her close so you could roll your eyes over her shoulder. “That bad, huh?” He chuckled softly.

“You of all people should know how bad directing can get, especially with cocky actors who don’t show up on time. I mean- you worked with Chris Evans, right?” You teased him and he laughed, nodding. “Honestly-” you chuckled wearily then sighed, giving him a small smile, “there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

“Aw, baby,” Chris pouted sympathetically, giving your arm a gentle squeeze. “You know there’s no one I’d rather work with too, but we’re parents now.” He reminded you, rubbing Harper’s back. “It’s time we learn to work with other people,” he said and you nodding, pouting. “Just do me a favor and don’t fall in-love with your next handsome lead,” he winked then smiled when you chuckled.

“Only if you promise not to fall in-love with your next pretty director.”

“The Russo brothers are my next directors,” Chris chuckled and you laughed, “I think I’ll be fine.”

“Mrs. Evans?” One of your interns called and you turned around. Chris smiled because this was the first time he heard someone call you Mrs. Evans at work as you were always referred to by your maiden name; it was probably because he was there. “You’re needed on set.” As soon as Harper heard that, she tightened her hold on you.

“Tell them I’ll be right there,” you nodded and the intern disappeared around the corner.

“No, Mama,” Harper’s voice quivered slightly, making your heart ache as you hugged her as tightly as she was hugging you. “Please don’t go,” she mumbled into the crook of your neck. “I don’t want you to go.”

You felt your eyes start to well with tears and you looked to Chris, pressing your lips together to suppress your urge to cry. “Don’t start,” he mouthed and shook his head, giving you the smile that would always make you smile; it worked. “C'mon, sweetheart.” Chris gently rubbed Harper’s back, trying to take her from you. “Let’s go home, we’ll see Mama later.”

“No,” Harper shrugged off her dad’s touch, making him sigh. “I don’t want to go,” she huffed, clutching onto you. “I want to stay here with you, Mama.” You beckoned your head for Chris to follow you as you started to make your way to where you were needed while still carrying your stubborn four year old.

“But what are you going to do here with me, baby?” You asked gently and she leaned back in your arms so she could meet your gaze. “I’m going to be busy directing and you don’t know anyone I’m working with. It’s not like Daddy’s set, you won’t have Uncle Seba or Auntie Scar or Uncle Rob to play with you.”

“I can just sit quietly and watch you work,” Harper responded with a grin.

“You could, but I promise you you’d have more fun with Daddy at home.” You told her and she wiggled her tiny mouth from side to side, pondering. “Like I said, it’s not like Daddy’s set. You’re going to be all by yourself, sitting quietly. That sounds so boring, don’t you think?”

“Bug, c'mon. You promised you wouldn’t do this.” Chris reminded her and she sighed. He knew you were on a tight schedule and you needed to stay focus which was why he made Harper promise she wouldn’t do any of what she was currently doing before he took her here. “Your mom’s on a tight schedule, do you remember what that means?”

“Yeah,” Harper nodded, pouting.

“So let’s go home so she can finish work quickly and come home in time for dinner,” Chris told her and she looked between the both of you, still pondering who she wanted to go with and what she’d get to do. “Do you remember what we’re having for dinner? Pi…” He trailed off.

“Zza!” She finished, holding out her arms for her dad to take her. “Okay, let’s go home.” Chris smiled at you, a little too smug for your liking. He’d always been good with kids, you knew that before you married him; it was actually one of the reasons you married him. “Bye Mama,” she leaned over and pecked you on the cheek.

“Bye, sweetheart.” You booped her nose and she giggled. “I’ll see you two at home,” you said and pecked Chris on the lips. “Hopefully in time for dinner,” you pursed your lips, knowing there was a small chance you weren’t going to be.

“Just tell your cast and crew Captain America will come in here armed and ready to whoop their asses if they don’t cut their shit out.” Chris told you, smiling; you chuckled because both of you had completely forgotten that you were in your four year old daughter’s presence until…

“Yeah,” Harper nodded with furrowed brows, “tell them Captain America will come in here armed and ready to whoop their-” Chris covered her mouth, both of you laughing, before she could finish.

24 Hours of Torture

Spencer Reid x Reader 

Part 2 of this 

The team had been waiting in the hospital waiting room for more than 12 hours. Penelope was asleep on Derek’s shoulder cuddling a massive pink bunny that she had bought for Annabel. Derek was flipping through Highlights, the only magazine left available. Aaron and David were sitting in the corner quietly talking. JJ was reading the Very Hungry Caterpillar to Henry, who had insisted on coming to see Uncle Spence and his baby cousin.

It had been 23 hours since Y/N had gone into labor, 5 days after her due date. She was still in the active labor phase and was only 5 cm dilated and had to reach 10 cm before any pushing could occur.

“Are you FUCKING kidding me?” screamed out Y/N as a contraction overcame her.

“Just breathe through it Y/N, you can do it” said Spencer to help ease the love of his life.

“Shut the hell up Spencer, I’ve been at this for almost 24 hours. I DON’T WANT TO BREATHE THROUGH IT” shrieked Y/N while squeezing Spencer’s hand.

“SHIT. Y/N don’t squeeze so hard” yelped Spence.

“Unless you have a cantaloupe pushing it’s way through your fucking asshole don’t tell me what to fucking do” Y/N screeched as another contraction pushed it’s way through her.

Spencer was at a loss for how to respond and simply said, “I love you Y/N”, before wiping the sweat off her forehead and placing a kiss.

After another 20 minutes, Y/N had finally dozed off. Spencer looked at his beautiful and loving wife and thought about the day he finally worked up the courage to propose. They had been dating for almost 4 years and Penelope and Derek were badgering him for the 1000th time about when we was going to ask his “Lil’ Mama” to marry him. What he didn’t tell them was that a couple weekends prior he had gone with JJ to buy Y/N’s ring. It was a round cut 18 carat white gold diamond engagement ring. It was simple yet elegant. He couldn’t wait till he could see it on her hand every morning when they woke up and every night before they went to sleep.

It was the 4th of July weekend and Spencer and Y/N had planned a small getaway to Cape Hatteras, North Carolina. They had booked a room at The Villas at Hatteras Landing. Their room had a queen sized bed, a living area, a massive bathroom, a private balcony, and even a small kitchen of their own. They spent most of their trip sleeping in and laying on the beach. That Saturday was the day Spencer finally did it. He woke up early and made an elaborate breakfast, well elaborate for him, of bagels, scrambled eggs, bacon, and coffee. After they spent a very lazy morning in the room the couple finally got ready to head out for the day.

Spencer had booked a boat tour for the two at 2 pm. After the boat tour they spent the day shopping. Spencer happily followed after Y/N as she smelt every single candle and looked through all the homemade soaps. He just held her hand as they hit all the souvenir shops on Highway 12  and Y/N looked through the tacky gifts. After an amazing afternoon, Spencer and Y/N had dinner reservations, at a restaurant that Y/N and her family went to every summer they spent at the Outer Banks, Dinky’s Waterfront Restaurant. They had their fill in fresh seafood and wine. After they ate till they couldn’t eat another bite the duo went on a romantic walk on the beach during sunset. During the walk, Spencer got down on one knee.

“Y/N, ever since you joined the team 5 years ago I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off of you. You were everything that I had ever imagined yet everything I also thought I would never have. The day you agreed to go out with me was the best day of my life. The past four years with you have been amazing. You’re the one I go to when I have a nightmare. You’re the one that takes care of me when I’m sick. I can always go to you with any problems. You make me a better person. You’re beautiful, loving, caring, selfless, and my entire world. So here I am, asking if you would do me the honor, of marrying me” said Spencer.

Y/N had tears streaming down her face and a look of awe.

“Babe, you have to answer me soon before I throw my bad knee out” said Spencer jokingly, although he had an irrational fear that she would say no.

Y/N, with tears still running down her face, rapidly nodded her head before saying, “Yes you idiot. Of course I’ll marry you”.

At that point Spencer, with a grin plastered onto his face, slid the ring onto the correct finger before standing straight. He pushed Y/N’s hair out of her face and wiped off her tears before saying, “I love you”, and pressed his lips to Y/N as she wrapped her hands around his neck sending shivers down Spencer’s spine. Y/N smirked into the kiss as Spencer’s arms grasped Y/N’s waist tighter and his thumb grazed the free skin available to him from the cutout on her dress.

Spencer jostled back into reality and rushed to his wife’s side as he heard Y/N scream, finally ready to push after hours of torturous labor. And after thirty more excruciating minutes they heard the angelic cry of Annabel Diana Reid.

“Look at her Spence, she’s gorgeous” said Y/N holding their baby girl for the first time.

“She already takes after her amazing mom” said Spencer before taking Y/N’s hand and gently kissing it.

A/N I wrote this piece because you guys liked the first part so much that it now has over 200 notes! You guys are freaking amazing! Also, I’m still accepting requests!

Watch on fuckyeahstephensondheim.tumblr.com

Lorna & Liza sing “If Mama Was Married.”

LORNA & LIZA SING “IF MAMA WAS MARRIED.”

LORNA FUCKING LUFT AND LIZA MOTHERFUCKING MINNELLI, THE DAUGHTERS OF JUDY GARLAND, SING “IF MAMA AKA JUDY GARLAND WAS MARRIED”

(“This song has nothing to do with her. It is not about her. She just liked it.”)

AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Big thanks to Matthew Glidden for his assistance in locating this clip.

Mama Gives Me Relationship Advice
  • Me: At least you didn't pimp Alistair out twice. I made him marry Anora AND sleep with Morrigan.
  • Mama: Good LORD! You're meaner than ME!
  • Me: Yeah well he broke up with me so fuck him.
  • Mama: Well think about it... if you pimped your boyfriend out twice?
  • Me: I only did it once at that point!
  • Mama: LOLOLOL and only once is no reason to get mad and break up, right!? Hahahahaha...
  • Me: Welll I was under the assumption I could be his mistress or whatever but APPARENTLY NOT
  • Mama: No side piece for the king!
  • Me: He was all honorable and shit.
  • Mama: Yeah, HATE that honorable no cheating on your spouse thing. SO inconvenient.