The more the intra-community fight drags on, the more convinced I am that “are cis heteroromantic aces or cis heterosexual aros queer?” is irrelevant.
The more important question is “How many queer people are you willing to hurt or exclude to keep out a single one of these dreaded ‘cishets’?”
This is not rhetorical. It is a very real question of risk and harm. And nobody seems willing to answer it.
Risk assessment and security are all about tradeoffs - the more secure you make something, the harder you make it for legitimate users to access it. So you can never just make things perfectly secure - that also renders them perfectly unusable.
At some point, you have to decide how significant a risk is, vs the harm done by securing against it.
The best data we have at this point indicates that “cishets” comprise about 13% of the a-spec population, and a-spec people in turn comprise about 1% of the general population. 0.13%. One in a thousand.
To me, that risk is insignificant, especially since it’s not like the community can never change its mind about somebody. Even if “cishet” a-spec people were Straight in every sense of the word, it would not be worth taking major security measures - security measures that disproportionately fall on questioning kids, “LGBT” aces, bi people and trans people - to guard against one in a thousand. My answer to the key question is zero.
So. How many “LGBT” people is one “cishet” ace worth? Show your work.