if i'm not wrong this is why they laughed

I, an 18yr old girl, was in the Walmart bathroom staring angsty-like into the mirror sneering at the thought of reylos

I was minding my own business when a 4mth old baby walked in with a black sharpie slash on her face (it looked like Crylo Ren’s scar) and a diaper with Kyle Ron on it. The baby looked me up and down, and I stared back, letting my hatred known. “What are you a fucking anti!1!!” the baby wailed

I then started telling this baby that reylo is abusive and Rey actually has standards when the baby started screaming “theyre two halves of a whole!!” “bridal carry!1!” “he only tortured her a little bit!”. She was going like this awhile when my army of Anti Annes dropped down from the ceiling and formed behind me and the babysitter crawled out of the sink drain. The babysitter profusely apologized to me while the baby is still screaming back about “but-but antis are wrong!”

And then Istg the babysitter yelled back, “why would she go for a slice of soggy white bread when Finn is right there??” The baby wet herself. The babysitter bought me crepes to make up for the baby’s behavior and then me and the Anti Annes went into the Down With Cis bus to beat up random bystanders

  • Aries: You always seem so full of life and vitality. It raises people's happiness instantly when you walk into the room.
  • Taurus: Having you around is brilliant - your voice is a grounding force and you're always good for a laugh.
  • Gemini: Wow. You have the best resting bitch face, the best smirk, the best laugh, and the best conversation topics.
  • Cancer: Being around you is relaxing because it seems like nothing can ever really go wrong when you're there to help.
  • Leo: Whenever you're there I can't take my eyes off you, it feels like wasting time when I'm not looking at you.
  • Virgo: You're easy to talk to because you seem so clever and polite, you never get boring and you never get bored.
  • Libra: Why does everyone deny that courtesy is actually great? Your manners are refreshing and you're drop-dead gorgeous.
  • Scorpio: You're so different to everyone else and the fact that you like it only makes us adore you even more.
  • Sagittarius: You are amazing at weird conversation starters and all your strange tiny talents make me laugh so hard.
  • Capricorn: People feel like they can do anything around you because you're so in control, we know nothing can go wrong.
  • Aquarius: No-one can beat your goofy jokes and you're so relaxing and un-judgemental, it's great to talk to you.
  • Pisces: You are so sweet and lovely, you have the cutest face and the dreamiest eyes. Your kindness is exemplary.

anonymous asked:

Didn't it all start (shipping camren) cause like they started it themselves?? 🤔🤔 i remember back in the day they would even tag it and all lmao sorry if I'm wrong

People were already shipping them before, but yeah Lauren did use #camren and so did Dinah, back then it was all fun just like all the other ships, but then something shifted and Lauren didn’t want to hear anything about it anymore. But instead of making it die down it only got fans even more curious - why would she react so vividly to the ship if it’s not real? Why the sudden change of behavior? She used to laugh it off and then it stopped and became this really serious thing. That’s also one of the main reason why Camren always stood out from the other ships and why it always looked like there was something more going on between them - you add to that the fact that they’ve always been extremely obvious in the way they look at each other and act around each other - and that’s how this mothergoddess of a ship was born.

catchthespade  asked:

your drunk bidders post got me laffin lmaooo though it made me wonder: from best to worst, how would you rank the bidders(+mc) in terms of how good they are at fighting?

Thank you lmao :’) and yES this is the shit I live for!!

@maidofstars you should see this too lmao


  • Holy shit dude
  • She’s hung out with the Bidders long enough to learn techniques from each of them
  • Her pent-up rage from dealing with these dumbasses is just adding fuel to the fire tbh
  • Don’t let her size fool you; MC can put anyone in a headlock
  • She’s fast, so she can dodge attacks and recover really quickly
  • Could probably knock anyone tf out in like 2 seconds

Soryu: 10/10 Get Rekt

  • There’s a reason why Soryu is a mobster
  • Aside from experience with weapons, he can fist fight really well and is professionally trained in martial arts
  • He can kick so high what the f u c k
  • He’s able to predict what his enemy will do next and counterattack
  • Soryu is hella strong, so he could wrestle someone to the ground before they even knew what was happening
  • He’s able to stay calm and focused in any fight, which scares the shit out of his enemies 

Hikaru: 8.5/10 Killin’ Machine

  • Probably knows 100 different ways to kill someone with his bare hands
  • More used to using weapons, but don’t sleep on his hand-to-hand combat skills
  • S O   M U C H   E N E R G Y
  • Hikaru is used to long, drawn-out fights so he knows how to pace himself
  • He may have a baby face, but he’s scary af when provoked
  • Can dodge attacks really, really well. Rarely ever gets hurt in a fight

Mamoru: 8/10 Don’t Poke the Bear

  • He can be super intimidating when he needs to be
  • Trained in martial arts and firearms, and is used to taking down rowdy criminals 
  • Probably the best improviser out of all the Bidders; can turn almost anything into a weapon
  • Suprisingly fast and strong. It’s like flipping a switch on inside Mamoru 
  • Can easily think like the enemy and predict what they’ll do next

Luke: 7/10 Weirdly Nimble

  • Probably most surprising of all, this walking zombie can focus and be quick on his feet during a fight
  • Since he has such long limbs, he can grab his enemies and trip them easily
  • Catch these surgeon hands 
  • Just wants the fight to be over tbh, so he’ll try to subdue his enemies more than anything
  • Can get really fierce when someone he cares about or an innocent person is being targeted 

Shuichi 6.5/10 Learned From the Best

  • You bet this man was taught how to fight from his assassian best friend
  • (Politicians are often in danger, you know)
  • Knows how to throw a few swings if necessary 
  • Can take down an enemy surprisingly quickly
  • Is really out of practice, though
  • His calm personality makes him really calculated and focused during an altercation 

Baba 5/10 Lover, Not a Fighter

  • He can hold his own in a fight for a while, but he’s not used to being involved in physical attacks
  • More focused on ending the conflict vs. duking it out
  • Baba’s fast from constantly running in his line of work
  • Not the face, man
  • Really prefers to talk things out

Eisuke: 3/10 What a Baby

  • He has no reason to fight anyone, so he has very little experience with it
  • Probably worried that he’ll break a nail or something
  • Could maybe get like, one punch in
  • Bitch hands 
  • Would likely end up hurting himself if he tried to get into a fight tbh

Ota: 2/10 Why 

  • You think these hands have ever dealt with anything but paint?
  • Ota is too worried that he’ll mess up his face 
  • 110% would rather run from a fight than try to hold his own
  • Tries to act tough, but would probably cry if someone threatened him
  • ??? how do I make a fist ???

Rhion 0/10 How Dare You?

  • Do not touch my small son
  • Why would someone fight him? Why is he in danger? Why
  • Would try to hug it out
  • In tears at the mere idea of someone wanting to fight him
  • What did he do wrong???
  • L E A V E   H I M   A L O N E
Garrett and Marian - Legacy Banters
  • Marian: Well... not quite how I imagined this family reunion going. I was envisioning more hugs and maybe some wine over dinner. Not attempted assassinations
  • Carver: Really? You think this is so abnormal for our family?
  • Marian: Well you got me there
  • ---
  • Bethany: What could our father have to do with this mess? The Carta have had more than enough time to try and find us
  • Garrett: I imagine that having two Champions of Kirkwall with the last name Hawke may have tipped them off
  • Bethany: But it's been three years since you and sis defeated the Arishok. Why wait that long?
  • Marian: Well I don't know about you, but if I was going to go after the people who killed an Arishok then I'd probably want to make a little time for planning, wouldn't you?
  • Carver: Do these morons strike you as the sensible type?
  • Marian: Two points in one day Carver? Don't tell me the Templars are actually drilling some wit into that skull of yours
  • Carver: *laughs* At least /my/ wit makes a point, dear sister
  • Bethany: Ooh, that had to hurt
  • Garrett: Do you need some healing for that one, Marian?
  • Marian: Oh shove off, all of you
  • ---
  • Garrett: And we're back in the Deep Roads
  • Marian: Oh it's not that bad. I mean... Look at all the... Ugh, no, you're right this is terrible. Let's all promise never to go to the Deep Roads after this. Three times is enough
  • Garrett: Three times? When was the second?
  • Marian: Um... well...
  • Carver and Bethany: *sing song voices* Somebody's in trouble
  • ---
  • Bethany: Varric wrote to me the other day
  • Garrett: Telling another of his stories, I bet. Was it the one about the high dragon, because that didn't really-
  • Bethany: No. He was giving me an update. On you, actually. I was... worried, so I wrote to him and asked
  • Garrett: I'm fine Beth. Really
  • Bethany: No you're not. Not yet. But I know you, and if anyone can get past it, you can
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • ---
  • Carver: You might want to be watch yourself, Garrett
  • Garrett: How come?
  • Carver: Ever since you sided with Orsino the other day, there's been... Rumours. Meredith isn't happy with you, and it's only because she allows it that you're still free
  • Garrett: So is she going to have me dragged to the Circle, or is she getting the Brand ready now?
  • Fenris: Don't say that
  • Carver: I would never let it get that far. But I thought I'd warn you, just in case you were thinking about making her mad
  • Garrett: I appreciate you telling me Carver. Don't worry. I'll be careful
  • ---
  • *after completing Malcolm's Will*
  • Marian: So... the stonework down here is... lovely, isn't it?
  • Carver: Not now, Mary
  • Marian: I was only... Alright
  • ---
  • Marian: Are you okay, Gary?
  • Garrett: I'm fine... Just...
  • Marian: He loved you. And Bethany. He'd be so proud of you
  • Garrett: You sound so sure of that
  • Marian: Of course I am. Because it's true. And don't let that nasty shit in your head tell you otherwise - it's a liar, remember
  • Garrett: *chuckles* Alright
  • Bethany: Be careful sister, people might think you've got a heart after all
  • Marian: *dramatically* Oh no! *clutches chest* I think... I think I'm getting feelings! Quick, someone beat them out of me!
  • Carver: *laughs* You be careful what you wish for sister
  • Isabela: I'd rather ride them out of you
  • Garrett: Ah, and there's the dirty line. I was starting to worry something was wrong Bela
  • Isabela: And you're as sweet as ever, Garrett
  • ---
  • Varric: Twenty silvers, that's my final offer. Take it or leave it Elf
  • Marian: What are you betting on, and why am I getting left out of it?
  • Varric: You want in? We're betting on what it'll take to get Junior and Waffles to hug
  • Garrett: *groans* You're not calling me 'Waffles' again, are you?
  • Varric: I have to. Every time I say 'Hawke' all four of you turn around. I'm being considerate
  • Carver: I bet there's /someone/ here who'd like to see him covered in syrup
  • Garrett: Carver!
  • Fenris: *embarrassed noises*
  • Isabela: Ooh, new friend-fiction idea!
  • Garrett: Don't you even dare!
  • Isabela: Too late, already dared. Can we make camp? I need to make notes
  • ---
  • Varric: Hey, Rivaini, I'm expecting royalties if that friend-fiction of yours gets published
  • Carver: When you didn't even come up with it?
  • Varric: You wouldn't have brought up syrup if I didn't call him Waffles
  • Garrett: Maker save me...
  • Bethany: And me...
  • Marian: Usually I like dirty things... But this is too far, even for me
  • Isabela: Are you saying you wouldn't like it if /I/ were covered in syrup?
  • Marian: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were my very hairy twin brother, Bela
  • Isabela: Well when you put it that way...
  • ---
  • Isabela: I always thought we were the loud ones, you know
  • Fenris: What?
  • Marian: I know right. Maybe they're just less shy about it now
  • Garrett: Do I want to know?
  • Isabela: You already know. Or did you deafen yourself?
  • Marian: To think, they don't need us shouting encouragement through the wall anymore. I'm so proud
  • Isabela: Our boys are growing up so fast. Maybe next they'll master foreplay
  • Carver: Oh Maker, I do not want to hear this
  • Bethany: Neither do I
  • Garrett: *loudly* And I would be very happy if we could stop talking about this. Right now
  • Isabela: Yeah, see. That kind of loud
  • Fenris: *deadpan* If you're so fascinated by Garrett being loud, then you must not be doing a very good job at making Marian scream, Isabela
  • Marian: Oooooooo
  • Isabela: Oh, you snarky little shit
  • Bethany: *loudly* If we could stop discussing my older brother's and sister's sex lives, I would appreciate it
  • Carver: *loudly* Oh look, more darkspawn. Let's kill them so we can stop talking about this
  • ---
  • Marian: So our choices are the nice, Tainted madman, or the mage who wants to let a darkspawn magister out of his hole in the ground? Why can we never make nice decisions, like what kind of wine to have with dinner?
  • Fenris: I agree. It is the only decision worth making
  • Marian: When you're not throwing it at the walls, I assume?
  • Fenris: That was six years ago
  • Marian: And you never offered me a glass
  • Fenris: You are recycling jokes now? Has the great Marian Hawke's wit finally lost it's edge?
  • Marian: Ooh, you are just asking for it now
  • ---
  • Varric: You okay Garrett? You've been a bit quiet since-
  • Garrett: I'm fine Varric. There's more important things to be worried about right now
  • Varric: It's not easy to realise that someone you looked up to wasn't quite what you imagined. You ever need to talk, you know where my suite is
  • ---
  • Isabela: So... is no one going to bring up the fact that Varric called Garrett by his name earlier?
  • Varric: What are you talking about Rivaini? Waffles and I were just having a friendly chat
  • Isabela: Don't bullshit me. You called him Garrett. I heard you
  • Varric: That doesn't sound like me, Rivaini
  • Marian: He called you by your name when Velasco carted you off to Castillon
  • Isabela: What?! No fair, I didn't get to hear!
  • ---
  • Bethany: Are you sure about this, brother?
  • Garrett: It has to be done
  • Bethany: I could do it. I am a Hawke after all, and a mage. You don't need to-
  • Garrett: No, Bethany
  • Bethany: But-!
  • Garrett: Bethy, if I let you use blood magic, I'd never be able to live with myself
  • Bethany: And if you do it, will you be able to live with it?
  • Garrett: I'd rather it be me than you
  • ---
  • Varric: If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving!
  • Marian: Oh great, and now he's almost certain to pull a dragon out of his arse! Way to go Varric
  • ---
  • Bethany: Here, you didn't get a chance to close that wound earlier
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • Fenris: I just hope it was worth it
  • Marian: Well we /did/ just kill a darkspawn magister. I can't wait to hear how Varric tells this one
  • Varric: Well I doubt I'll have to exaggerate a damn thing, considering how weird this shit is
  • Fenris: That isn't what I meant...
  • Garrett: I'd have avoided it if I could, but someone had to. And if it meant sparing my little sister from that...
  • Fenris: I understand. But... Please, just be more careful from now on
  • Garrett: I will, I promise
  • Isabela: You two are so sappy... It's actually rather cute
lemme see that hoodussy {j.t}

forever tag: @angelicshinigami @tothetardissterek (if you’d like to be added to this list, please notify me)

word count: 282

warnings: memes.

watch this before reading. (i’m so sorry I had to do this. P.S. pretend it says “Red Hood” instead of Jason Todd.)

You were cuddled closely to Jason, your earbuds plugged into your phone as you scrolled through Tumblr. You were lucky to not have work today, and Jason had asked Tim to cover his patrols for just this night. (Tim had begrudgingly agreed, only after realizing it was so Jason could spend time with you.)

The two of you had fallen into a comfortable silence the moment you pressed play on a video with a photo of the Red Hood. You were curious what it was about so you listened. Suddenly, you fell into a fit of laughter, clutching your stomach as you laughed so hard it hurt. 

Jason quirked an eyebrow, looking at you curiously. You pulled your earbuds out of your ears, wiping imaginary tears from your eyes. 

“Oh, my God, Jay. You have to see this,” you said, before shoving the phone into his hands. 

He looked at you with suspicion glinting in his eyes. Finally, he caved, and pressed play. 

After the video had ended, he sat up from the couch. “Jaybird?” You asked, concerned. 

He walked over to the corner of the room and sat down holding his head in his hands. “Jay?”

Why?” He suddenly sobbed.

You suppressed a laugh, crouching in front of him. You rubbed his back, in an effort to comfort him. 

“Y/N… What did I do to deserve this? Why does the universe hate me?”

You chuckled, lifting his head out of his hands. “Aww, Jay, it doesn’t hate you, it loves you!” 

Horror flashed in his eyes. “If this is what love looks like then I don’t want it.”

You smirked. “Well, they weren’t wrong. You are one thic bih.”

Jason groaned.

12x11 Coda

Based on this post from @hannahruth990

I meant to write a fluffy story about watching that cute little forgetful fish.  
I slipped. Sorry not sorry

Dean exhales slowly and shifts, trying to make himself comfortable. He can’t sleep, so he’s resigned himself to scrolling through Netflix. He needs something to occupy his mind - some noise, a mindless distraction.

There’s a knock at his door and he calls the visitor in, his eyes still fixed on his computer screen. He assumes it’s Sam, coming to check on him after the emotional roller coaster of a day. “Hello, Dean.”

He tears his eyes away from the screen and smiles. “Hey, Cas.” His voice is soft. Reverent. Seeing Cas somehow puts him at ease.

Cas is hovering in the doorway until Dean waves him in. He sets the computer aside and watches Cas close the door. “I would have called to let you know I was coming home, but Sam told me you’d broken your phone. And it’s late. I wasn’t sure if he was sleeping, so I– Why are you smiling?”

Keep reading

You were this beautiful, kind, thoughtful, incredible person, and I’m…me. I stutter and mumble and trip over nothing and laugh too loud at the wrong jokes and cry too much and maybe that’s why. Maybe that’s why, whatever you saw in me, you forgot.
—  Journal Entry; Fall 2013
Team RWBY and JNPR, what's the worst thing(s) you've walked in on? If nothing, what about you getting walked in on? (Asked by yingfortheking) (i was wondering when you'd ask a question tbh i always see you hanging around in the notes!)
  • Ruby, scrunches up a face of disgust: I've walked into MY OWN DORM to see Yang, Blake, Pyrrha, Nora, Coco, and Velvet playing strip poker.
  • Ruby, shutting her eyes tight: Yang was losing on purpose...
  • Weiss, speaking in a dreamy tone: I walked into the locker room while Pyrrha was getting changed into her armor~
  • Weiss, shaking her head to snap out of the trance, slightly embarrassed: O-oh! The worst thing. Right. Right sorry.
  • Weiss, unimpressed and shrugs, speaks heartlessly: Jaune was there too.
  • Blake, covering her face with her book: Like many other kids....I have walked in on my parents....
  • Blake, lowering her book, her face almost comical in its teary look: They weren't wrestling at all...
  • Yang, rubbing the back of her head and laughs sheepishly: Well...I accidentally walked into a bath house once...the wrong side...didn't nofice until I took my towel off...
  • Ruby, silently: Yeah let's not forget how many bones you broke out of embarrassment.
  • Yang, defensively jumping up, much to Ruby's shock: THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN LOOKING!!
  • ~~~
  • Jaune, laughing a little, his face scarlet: I walked into the dorm room while Nora was....umm...expecting Ren, presumably.
  • Nora, gritting her teeth, her fist shaking in anger: And it would've worked if you hadn't ruined it!!!
  • Jaune, fearfully holding his hands out in surrender: I-I told you I'm sorry!!!!
  • Ren, calmly: If it hadn't worked so many times before why expect it to work that time? So I suppose my answer is also occasionally walking in on Nora in...certain situations.
  • Nora, stomping her foot down and pointing a dagger like finger at Ren: WELL WHAT ABOUT ALL THE TIMES YOU'VE JUST TAKEN PEAKS AT ME!?!?
  • Ren, stops dead in his tracks as his face boils bright red: W-what could you possibly be talking about?
  • Pyrrha, popping up before her team destroys itself, laughing awkwardly: I wasn't actually an original member of that poker game, I walked in on it half way and was kind of abducted into it, aha...
  • Nora, appearing behind Pyrrha, whispering into her ear with a sly smile: Don't act like tou didn't want to join in when you s-
  • Pyrrha, holding back her embarrassment behind a strict smile and closed eyes, flicking her hand back, using her semblance to send Nora flying backwards: Like I said...abductee...not a voluntary player.

anonymous asked:

could you possibly do a Tom x reader where reader is dog sitting Tess for the day and ends up getting her one of those 'your girlfriend thinks I'm cuter' dog shirts and Tom gets kind of jealous/pouty? thank you!

He should have thought it was funny. Really, he could see the humor in it. But why it hit him in the place that made his heart feel like it was sinking two inches. Because Tessa was cuter than him, of course she was. But he’d been away so much recently and he missed his dog and his girl and for some reason the joke just rubbed him the wrong way. 

“Aw, come on, you know I’m just being silly.” you let out softly with a laugh, placing your hand on his cheek and stroking your thumb across his bottom lip that was pouted out. “I think you’re very, very cute.” 

When you say the words, his heart lifts up a little and he moves to rest his head against your shoulder. Placing small kisses on your neck, he lets out a small laugh. “You’re jealous of your own dog,” you giggle into his ear and he laughs too. You both turn your heads towards the grey dog curled up in her bed by the fireplace that illuminates the room in a golden glow. 

“What can I say, she’s a very, very cute dog.” he laughs before bumping his nose into yours.

thanks for requesting! // request a blurb for boyfriend!tom blurb night!!!!

  • Spark: Why are you training fire types, Blair?
  • Go Trainer: Because I said I was bad at it, and you're trying to prove me wrong.
  • Spark: No.
  • Go Trainer: I don't know the right answer.
  • Spark: Because you're great at it. Why are you training fire types, Blair?
  • Go Trainer: Because I'm great at it.
  • Spark: Why are you training fire types?
  • Go Trainer, laughing: Because I'm great!

anonymous asked:

So I just saw your answer that had this "P.S. I am secretly hoping that Disney Channel shits upon my cynicism and at least acknowledges Carlos as gay, even if they don’t put him in a relationship with Jay." I just wonder why you think so strongly he is gay? I'm not saying it's wrong, because I like the idea of him and Jay but still; I just wonder why you are so sure he is? :))

It’s not that I’m “so sure” Carlos is gay, per se.

At the time I made that post, the canonical information about Carlos suggested that he might identify as queer. E.g. feeling pleased by Jay’s laugh in Isle of the Lost, reacting shyly and trustingly to Ben in Descendants, and then…well…basically everything that was Carlos and Jay’s interactions in Descendants. In all the canonical material, Carlos’s language and behavior was queer-coded. More specifically gay-coded, once one takes into account that he didn’t show similar (romantic?) interest in female-identified persons.

Since then, the source material has swerved away from the queer coding to some degree. There’s been some (rather lazy) attempts to show him being paired with Jane, such as in Return to the Isle of the Lost.

I don’t think at this point I could say Carlos is canonically gay. (Like I, humble Tumblr denizen, ever could homg.) But I will still hold out that I think his canonical presentation is queer, whether that means bi or ace or pan or something else altogether, even if that doesn’t get explicitly acknowledged by the source material at any point.

P.S. I am still secretly hoping that Disney Channel shits upon my cynicism and at least acknowledges Carlos as queer.

Kim's super girl (slight super girl crossover)
  • Kim: trini, hey trini wait up. Where you going?
  • Trini: -angry- I'm going out.
  • Kim: what? Why? Trini what's wrong?
  • Trini: nothing. Wouldn't want to ruin your good time with her - points to Kara who's laughing at a joke that billy tells her. Jason and zack soon joins in and they all start laughing- ugh forget it. You don't need me.
  • Kim: Wait trini stop. Do you...think that she likes me?
  • Trini: Of course she does! Look at her! She's always hanging around you, you guys are practically hanging in every word she says, why don't you just give her my power coin? Hell she doesn't even need one.
  • Kim: wait stop.- she grabs trinis arm before she could leave. - just stop trini!
  • -trini stops but still glares at Kim.-
  • Kim: Kara and I are just friends.
  • Trini: -scoffs- yeah. Sure.
  • Kim: I'm serious. I swear Kara is just a friend. That's all. In fact she was just talking about you. She kind of thinks you're pretty cool
  • Trini: ...really?
  • Kim: yeah...really - Kim rolls her eyes - you honestly think I would leave you for her?
  • Trini: no I...I'm sorry.
  • Kim: trini you dork. You're the only supergirl for me. No one else.
  • -trini hugs Kim and Kim hugs her back and rubs trini's back and kisses trinis forehead. -
  • Kim: we good?
  • Trini: - nods and kisses Kim back -
  • Kim: good. Now come on. Kara wants to treat us to Krispy Kreme.
  • Trini: I feel like a dope right now.
  • Kim: yeah but you're my little dope. - Kim wraps her arm around trini- Plus I think she's already seeing someone. Some rich girl back home in metropolis or somethin.

I’m also for some weird reason 100% convinced Sakusa listens to death metal

anonymous asked:

i hate sexual jokes. I'm not sure why I hate them. There's just something about them that I hate so so much. I know that they are wrong in God's eyes as well, but I feel as though I should understand why God doesn't want us making them or laughing at them. Why does God disapprove of sexual jokes?

Hi there, God bless you!

Jokes and comments of double meaning are always disrespectful, out of place, and do not please the Lord. The Word of God teaches us that there is power in the tongue, which means that every word we speak will have a permanent effect on us and on those around us. We are called to speak life, light, love, unity and freedom, and these kind of jokes or comments do not go align with what God calls us to do, since they refer to impurity, temptation and sin. We must know that many people in today’s society are auto suggested to react with these types of conduct, whether it be in our workplaces, schools, even family. We must learn how to kindly and lovingly set the example of Jesus Christ for them so they can see why it is wrong to speak in such a way. For this, we must ask God for His guidance and to make the fruit of His Spirit be visible in us to them. Finally, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Do not grow tired of doing good, because you will reap the goodness of God if you don’t give up. Keep spreading His love and His example of purity wherever you go so everyone around you may see the greatness of walking with Jesus!

Jeremiah 15:19 New Living Translation (NLT)

This is how the Lord responds:

“If you return to me, I will restore you
   so you can continue to serve me.
If you speak good words rather than worthless ones,
   you will be my spokesman.
You must influence them;
   do not let them influence you!