if i'm not back on here until late it's because i'm reading until my face falls off

Put your empty hands in mine (I’m gonna stand by you) - 12x12 coda

Also here on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9812102


They arrive back at the bunker almost at sunrise.

Sam wishes them a goodnight, yawning around the words, and claps Cas on his back when he passes him by. It’s a comforting touch, meant to reassure them both that they’re still alive and well, and Dean immediately longs to do the same. To put his hands anywhere on Cas’ body, to make sure that their friend is truly okay. His fingers twitch restlessly and he balls them into a fist, to keep himself from reaching out.

“You should go to bed, too. You still look like crap,” Dean hears himself say, though there are a million other words burning on the tip of his tongue. Or maybe just three. Three words, finally said aloud by one of them after they were left unspoken for so long.

Cas turns around to look at him, one eyebrow raised. “I thought you said that I look devastatingly handsome?”

Dean is so taken aback by the dry-witted reply, that he flounders for a few seconds. He blinks at Cas, who cracks one of his crooked smiles which he usually directs at Dean whenever he means to cheer him up or comfort him. Right now, it does little to calm the anxious feeling deep inside him, considering that Cas’ clothes are still a bloody mess and he looks utterly exhausted under that smile.

“Yeah, well, maybe I’ll call you that again when you don’t look like you’re gonna fall over any moment,” he answers gruffly and then makes the mistake of stepping closer and actually reaching out to put one rebellious hand on Cas’ left arm.

“Dean, I am fine. My wounds are healed and I will recharge my batteries soon,” Cas tries to reassure him, making those damn dorky air quotes and Dean is taking another step closer, right into Cas’ personal space, before he can stop himself.

He takes a deep, shuddering breath and his grip tightens on Cas’ arm. “Just- just please, take it easy. You’re home now, Cas. And I don’t want you to leave all on your own in a few hours, hell, not even in a few days, okay? Just get some rest and… just stay,” he pleads, the words tumbling from his lips in a desperate rush.

Something flickers in Cas’ eyes, a look of hesitation which Dean has seen there before, but it’s different this time. It seems both more open but also more guarded than ever, which should be a contradiction in itself, but his mind can’t seem to define it any better.

“I won’t leave today,” Cas replies, his voice steady and calm. “But Kelly Kline is still out there and-“

“We have months to find her, okay?” Dean interrupts, not wanting to hear this argument right now. He’s not ready to let go yet, quite literally. “And I will go with you, when you follow the next lead on her.”

That hesitant expression slides off Cas’ face at that and he smiles again, all soft and pleased and happy, and Dean wants to move his hand up to trace that smile with his fingers so badly, he’s shaking with the need.

“It could become rather unpractical, if you don’t want to let me out of your sight again,” Cas says, but he’s only lightly teasing and obviously far more overjoyed and captivated by the way Dean moves even closer, until he can feel Cas’ breath on his face as he speaks.

“I almost lost you tonight. Again. Cas, I – I can’t…” Dean’s voice breaks and he swallows against the painful lump in his throat. His eyes burn at the unbidden memories of Cas lying there in that barn, torn up and bloody and his flesh rotting away right before his eyes, while Dean was unable to help him.

His gaze flickers down to Cas’ lips and Dean can almost see that black mass of goo bubbling up his mouth again and the panic seizes his heart back into an iron fist and he can’t – he can’t let go, he can’t say what he truly wants to say and at the same time can’t think about what he’d do if Cas died without knowing that Dean feels the same way. That he loves him, that he’s family, that he belongs to them – belongs to Dean, just like Dean wants to belong to him.

It’s always been such a scary thought, wanting to belong somewhere or to someone, knowing that good things don’t last and people he loves always either go away or end up dead. But in the last few years they have built themselves a home here at the bunker. It’s not home though, without the people in it. Without Cas.

“Dean.”

Cas’ hand comes up against the left side of his face, shaking slightly, and Dean feels both electrified and worried about that unsure touch at once.

“Did you… did you mean it?”

The question leaves him in a whisper and he almost wants to take it back as soon as he utters it. Because what if he’s wrong? Cas had been dying. They had both been almost unable to keep eye contact, though for different reasons probably, and Dean is afraid that he’s reading too much into it, that those words hadn’t been solely meant for him that first time Cas had spoken them.

But Cas leans in even more, until there’s no space left at all between them, and Dean can smell the filth and blood still sticking to his clothes. He wants to pull them all off from Cas’ body and take him back to one of their showers where he can inspect every inch of him and clean him from every evidence of his injuries. His self-control is slipping alarmingly fast, considering how well he’s always been able to suppress the need of physical contact between them.

“I love you, Dean.”

Cas looks at him unwaveringly, the blue of his eyes intense in its determination and raw adoration, and Dean’s heart seizes so painfully, he thinks he might pass out himself.

He wants to say something. He does. But in the next second his lips are pressed against Cas’ mouth in something that can’t even be described as a real kiss. Dean’s mouth is open, since he can’t stop drawing in a desperate breath of air, and Cas doesn’t react for a long moment which makes Dean stay right where he is, completely still and only breathing against Cas’ lips, even as his body starts shaking.

Something salty runs down into the corner of his mouth and he realizes it’s his own tears, but before he can pull away and hide, Cas finally moves. His thumb brushes against Dean’s cheek right under his eye, wiping away the next tear that threatens to fall, and then he’s kissing back with an urgency that overwhelms Dean’s senses completely.

He doesn’t know how long they remain like that, wrapped up in each other, trading kisses and hushed whispers between each touch of their lips. It feels like it can never be enough and he’s sure that he will curse himself later for waiting this long, until it was almost too late, to give in to the feelings he’s harbored for his best friend for years. But right now he can’t bring himself to care, to regret anything that led them to this moment.

When they finally break apart, Cas is smiling at him and taking his hand in a gentle hold, his eyes alight with happiness. “Let’s go to bed,” Cas says, and he knows instantly and without any doubt that he means Dean’s bed. That Cas means to stay.

A smile breaks out on his own face and he nods, while he tightens his grip on Cas’ hand. “Yes.”

They leave the war room, holding onto each other all the way towards their room. He hasn’t said it back yet. Maybe the words will remain stuck in his mangled heart for even longer, even though he feels certain that he won’t be able to hold onto them forever. But considering the way Cas is looking at him, he knows. And that makes Dean feel more calm about it, more at ease that they will do this right, no matter what life will throw at them in the future.

They will face all of it together, as family.

But there’s one thing to be done, before they can crawl onto Dean’s amazing memory foam mattress and hold each other close like Dean has longed for so long.

He sweeps his eyes over Cas’ body again, the sight of all that blood still painful to look at, and his voice is firm and allows no argument when the next two words rush out of him.

“Shower first.”

———————

A/N: Cas said “I love you”. He said it. TO DEAN. I am still an emotional mess because of it and will probably never recover. So I needed to write this coda down last night, before I could even think about sleep. Edited it today, hoping to think more clearly, but I don’t think I’m more coherent now than yesterday.

Also I suck at titles, but I was listening to destiel songs on my playlist and this stuck in my head. Hope you enjoyed it anyway <3

Reckless
Jyn Erso x Reader
Word Count: 1,110

Description: Jyn is a frequent visitor to the medbay, and with those visits come a friendship along with a little something more.

You remember the first time you met Jyn, the way she had walked so calmly into the medbay as if there wasn’t a bloody gash obscuring her left forearm. She was calm, a little lightheaded though it was to be expected with an injury as serious as her own.

She felt differently.

Keep reading

Not In That Way Part 3 - Requested (Luke)

This was requested by jxx-n iinternetgirl8522 tessawinterx if you haven't yet read the ones before then you should do that now haha Part 1 and Part 2, ENJOY!!!!

LUKE’S POV

‘Hello?’ I answer the phone without checking the ID, it’s three in the morning so it has to be important, but there is no reply only shuffling, I move the phone for my ear and squint in the dark to read the name on screen.

’(Y/N)?’ I asks, my heart race picking up a little, she had gone out tonight with some friends, maybe she’s in trouble or needs a ride; I sit up in my bed. ’(Y/N) you there?’ I ask again.

'Lukey why you calling me?’ She asks making me frown a little trying not to laugh at her clear drunken state. 'I didn’t you called me’ I remind her. 'Yeah, yeah of course, I knew that’ she slurs.

'But…but I have to tell you something, it’s a big secret, the biggest’ she hushes her voice a little and I try not to laugh again. 'Olay tell me’ I whisper down the phone, playing along and she laugh.

'Lucas don’t be silly, I can’t tell you the biggest secret ever down the phone, I have to see you, I’m coming your house’ she explain and I nod, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and grabbing my jeans pulling them on.

'Where are you, I’ll come pick you up and you can tell me all about the secret’ I offer.

'It’s not just a secret Lu, it’s the biggest secret’ she gushes and this time I let out a soft chuckle. 'Okay sorry’ I apologise. 'Where are you then?’ I ask jogging down the stairs.

'Well that’s why I called duuuu, I’m lost’ she exclaimed down the phone to the point I have to pull the phone from my ear a little. 'How are you lost? What can you see around you?’ I ask, locking the front door and heading for my car, I climb in waiting for her response as I look behind for any cars, then I spot something moving down the street, more like someone.

'I dunno, it’s dark, okay come find me, I’m somewhere dark’ she tells me before laughing at herself a little. I climb out the car and jog down the street until I’m able to see (Y/N) fills stumbling down the street, I laugh down the phone 'Found you’ I tell her and she cheers throwing her arms in the air and I reach her in time to catch her. I get her back home and make her some coffee as we sit at the table.

—–

YOU’RE POV

You wake up your head pounding, it feels like your mouth is full of spikes and someone is hammering in your head as you groan rolling over, you squint as you open your eyes to see you’re in Luke’s room. You groan closing your eyes again as you try and remember how you got her but recall nothing. Eyes still closed you throw the cover off yourself and sit up, Sliding your legs over the side of the bed, you feel the cold rush on your bare legs and open your eyes to see your wearing one of Luke’s shirts and your under wear. You get up and look in the mirror to see last night’s make up over your face, you’re hair a mess and eyes slightly blood shot but you just groan leaving the room, it’s only Luke, no effort needs to be made so you head down stairs. You filled the noise if the TV into the living room where Luke is sitting staring blankly at the TV. You lean your shoulder against the door frame and smile a little.

'Morning’ your throat hurts a little as you speak and you try to clear your groggy throat. Luke’s eyes are immediately on you and he stands.

'Hey, hey erm morning’ he rambles almost nervousness and you frown a little shaking your head and turning to go to the kitchen, you can hear Luke following but he doesn’t speak, you hit the switch for the kettle and lean against the counter as it boils.

'How you feeling this morning?’ He asks and you groan in response rubbing your head. And Luke chuckles a little earning him a glare from you. 'Want some pain killers?’ He asks and you nod a little closing your eyes, you hear the cupboard door open and shuffling. 'I’ll tale the whole pack’ you half joke and he chuckles, you hear the tap come in and open your was in time for Luke to hand you the water, he holds up the tablets and you open your mouth he pops them in and you smile before swallowing with a mouthful of water.

'Please make the coffee’ you ask with a moan and he chuckles pulling out a chair for you, you happily fall into it and place your head on the table eyes closed. After a couple of minutes silence you open your eyes to see Luke staring right at you, like he is observing everything about you, you smile a little at him and he does back before looking away.

'So other than this morning how was last night?’ He asks, as he takes the milk from the fridge.

'Good from what I remember, which honestly isn’t a lot, the last time I saw the time was eleven because some women piled on Jessie’s shoes’ I tell him pulling a face at the stain memory. 'So you don’t remember coming here? Calling me?’ He asks turning and handing you the mug, which you take with a small smile of appreciation.

'No, sorry it must have been late; did I turn up here late?’ You worry a little hoping you hadn’t been a nuisance.

'You called and said you were lost, told me to come find you, that you were somewhere dark, I got to my car an saw you half way down the street and that was it really’ he explain and you laugh as much as your head will allow until pouting towards Luke.

'Sorry Luke’ you apologise but he shakes his head 'don’t be, you know I will always answer, I’m always gonna take care if you’ he tells you and you can’t help the smile that grows across your lips.

'You’re the best Luke’ you tell him 'don’t suppose I could sleep off the hangover here?’ You smile sweetly up at him and he chuckles. 'Of course my lady, my bed is all yours’ he tells you offering you a hand, you take it and grab your mug with the other, you peck Luke’s cheek and give him a quick smile before heading back for his bed.

———-

'Thanks for letting me crash Luke, I don’t mean to rush off without spending any time with you but I gotta go’ you call through the rooms as you hop off the last step and shove your feet into your shoes, you see Luke come out if the kitchen and stand in front of the door, you cock your eyebrow and he laughs a little.

'Just give me two minutes, I want to show you something’ he explain, you nod following him into the living room where he picks up his guitar, you lean against the door frame go watch him.

'Last night you told me your secret and I thought it’s only fair I tell you mine’ he explain before beginning to strum looking down at his fingers but as the first words leave his mouth his blue eyes lock on yours.

'When I hear you stop and laugh out loud

When you’re fallin’ fast asleep

When you’re in the middle of a crowd

When you’re lyin’ close to me

When I hear you softly say my name

When you’re high and when you’re low

When you don’t need me to explain

'Cause you already know

When you smile that way

I know, every night and day

That’s when I love you, when I need you

When I care about you

That’s when I know without a doubt

That I can’t live without you

Everyday I find another reason

Every season we go through

And every little thing you do

That’s when I love you’

Your breath is hitched in your throat; you wouldn’t have told him that, would you? How drunk were you? What did you say? What does that sing mean? He puts down his guitar, his eye which have been on your since the first words have water building and you know yours are the same. He comes over and takes your hands in his, your frozen.

'For years I have had this feeling, all through my body but it’s only ever when I’m with you, a couple of years ago I thought maybe it was love but then I told myself I was being stupid, I couldn’t love you, your my best friend, so that’s what I put it down to, I put it down to you being one of the closest, most important person in my life. But then last night you told me, you told me you loved me and its like those words, those words made the years, the feeling it made sense. I couldn’t sleep last night; I couldn’t stop thinking about how stupid I was to have missed it all this time, for not having you in my arms all these years. Because I love you (Y/N)’ as he finishes a tear slides down your cheek and you take in a huge breath.

'I love you too’ the words leaving your mouth are so foreign in this context but so right. And you feel a hundred times lighter as a huge weight leaves your body. Luke smiles a little before softly brushing your cheek with his thumb, wiping away the tear before hold you in his hand, his lips moving to yours and gently brushing them, the kiss becomes more, more needy, more awaited, and you feel like your body is on fire from his touch. That’s it; you always told yourself he didn’t love you, not in that way. But he does and you love him.

From Chelsea