if i were donald

The Signs as Things my Grandfather Has Done

Aries: Rolled down his window and screamed: “YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF IDIOTS” at people protesting something he didn’t personally agree with. (I can’t remember exactly what they were protesting… I just remember it happening)

Taurus: Trash talked Donald Trump on a number of occasions, and called the guy who threw the shoe at George W. Bush a “goddamn national hero”.

Gemini: Looked me dead in the eye and said “Shianne, I’m so glad you agree that Kirk and Spock are gay. I’ve been trying to tell your grandma that for years.”

Cancer: Recorded all the episodes of Full House and put them on a video cassette for me. 

Leo: Whenever we drove past the cemetery told the same shitty joke: “You know people are just dying to get in there…” He laughed hysterically every time this happened. 

Virgo: I asked him what he was afraid of, he answered, “I’m afraid of someone holding a gun to my head and threatening to kill my entire family. That’s what I’m afraid of”. I was 7.

Libra: Jumped out of a moving car to avoid an argument with my grandmother.

Scorpio: Watched FOX News with me and paused every 10 seconds to explain why they were wrong. 

Sagittarius: Stayed up all night watching reruns of Seinfeld on multiple occasions.

Capricorn: Got really irritated that I kept calling crayons “colors”. He corrected me every single time.

Aquarius: Never signed up for the draft, even though he was 18 in ‘68. Is also very proud of this and says “I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!!!” on many occasions.

Pisces: Took a picture with his toy sized Yorkie for his Christmas card. They posed like he was taking her to the prom, and he was wearing a suit for some reason.

Hillary Clinton only needed 0.9% to win.


Thank you third party voters for wasting your vote. Thank you Trump voters for telling everyone that is not a cisgender, wealthy, straight, white male isn’t important and that you don’t care.

someone: i thought you were straight

me: some people think donald trump is fit to be the president of the united states of america. we all make mistakes

“I teach 4th grade. After Donald Trump got elected, my students were crying because they feared that their parents might get deported. And I didn’t know what to tell them.”

On Clary and Maia

I might get backlash for this BUT -

Watching Clary Fray on tv gets the same reaction out of me as if I were watching Donald Trump.

what reaction?  Basically I want to tell her “Shut up and LISTEN!  It’s not all about YOU!”

I know.  Comparing her to Trump is HARSH.  But look at what she is - A simple, arrogant, inexperienced person who all of the sudden’s been handed the “keys to the kingdom” and thinks they can run shit with TOTAL disregard.  Unwilling to listen.  Ignorant.  Overflowing with false self-importance.  Thinks they know what’s best for a whole SOCIETY.

She brashly intervenes in the politics of other species without caring to even ATTEMPT to understand their culture or relationships or their reasons for working a certain way.

She creates alliances, then tears them down as soon as they don’t fit her desires.

She ignores and disrespects important political figures, important allies. Potential friends.

From almost the beginning, she starts classifying people by their species, already learning Shadowhunter prejudice.  I mean she tells MAGNUS outright “Bring it, Warlock.

You think that’s okay?  Look back at the scene and check Magnus’s bothered expression right after.  Props to Harry Shum Jr. for catching that.

“I’m Clary Fray, and fuck downworlders.  Fuck the Clave.  Fuck shadowhunter law.  I’m gonna do what I wanna do.”

Granted - Her world was recently turned upside down and she’s been traumatized.  But you know what?  She should at least recognize that EVERYONE AROUND HER has been dealing with this since birth and MAYBE - just MAYBE - they know BETTER?

Originally posted by emreozcan

Know why I can’t wait for Maia to show up next season?

Because Clary’s fucking insufferable and needs to be taken down completely, not just a few notches, for the sake of the Shadow world.

And that whole contrived “tough girl” fight scene with Isabelle?  It’s so stupid.

These are soldiers.  Practically mercenaries.  They’ve been training since they were CHILDREN to fight and maim and kill.  HOW does it make sense for Clary to beat her?  I just…

Isabelle better have faked it and let herself be taken down, because BOY that is fucking shameful.  Especially from Maryse’s kid.

And even if Isabelle DID let Clary win, then that’s not good for Clary at all.  It furthers her arrogance.

I will say it again:

The problem with Clary Fray is that she thinks she knows shit.

even putting her in her place a little by giving Luke another daughter-figure, a daughter-figure with a unique unbreakable bond Clary can NEVER hope to share with Luke, will help a tad.

It might humble her.  It might make her think “wait - this is a big world with a lot of people, and these people apparently … matter? 

Originally posted by noemiette

Here’s hoping Maia turns out to be a great character.

Honestly, I didn’t know there were so many people in America that either don’t know or don’t care about any of the following:

  • Women
  • Muslims
  • Blacks
  • Native Americans
  • Low/Middle Class
  • Homosexuals
  • Children

Like… that’s just a really wild thing to come to terms with.

things ive heard other kids say in the mental hospital

“i dont know the password try bologna69″

“can i poke your ankle?”

“ill shove a cactus down your throat”

“one time i got high as shit and stole a donald trump sign”

“i thought the bushes were whispering to me”

“you put the bae in harambe”

“ill say something nice about her, she has a strong nose.”

“may i sleeve slap you”

“ouch my feelings”

“baby chicken”

“were cousins now”

“one time me and my friends set my bed on fire”

“theres a banana in your pocket”

I don’t think any of us were prepared for Donald Trump to be president… I think there’s going to come a time when the protests get larger and larger - and that I fully support. If there’s anybody who, because of this election, feels like marginalised in any way, those are the people I feel the most sympathy for. So whether you’re black, brown, white, gay, straight, trans, Muslim - those are the people I want to rally with. A Green Day concert is a safe house for anyone who feels marginalised.

Not that I’m saying that I’m going to put a curse on Donald Trump, but if I were going to put a curse on Donald Trump I do have a list of components that would be ideal. 

  • Pyrite- because its Fool’s Gold
  • Carrots- make great poppets
  • Sweet potatoes- also make great poppets. 
  • The action of stomping- because he’s constantly throwing tantrums
  • Wigs- because of his toupee. 
  • Cheetos and cheeto dust- because I mean… come on. 

Feel free to add. <3

FYI for those on twitter - I have NO IDEA why or how but check your twitter follows because even if you were not following him before, somehow lots of people (Audra McDonald, Me, and @supahero76 - to name I’m sure but a few of thousands) were somehow suddenly following Voldemort.

And yes, I mean Donald as potus. So check your follows. And unfollow as one does.

So two of the ladies who work at the service desk at work were leaving today, and stopped by my checkout line to buy some avocados, and one of them points out the People magazine that had Trump on the cover (both of them are very anti-trump) like “wow, I think this is the only time I have ever seen him smile” and I’m like “yeah, all he ever really does is pout” and we laugh and imitate him just for a laugh and then I say to myself “…with his luscious, orange lips” and they both overhear me and just start SCREAM LAUGHING like I had just told the funniest joke in the world. Meanwhile there was a mother with her kids behind them, and the kids had also grabbed the same magazine and were chanting “Donald Dump! Donald Dump!” And I don’t think I have ever felt so lighthearted post-election than I did then.


“Show me someone without an ego, and I’ll show you a loser.” - Donald Trump