if i were donald

6

comic duck portraits! I wanted to have another crack at digital painting and tried to find styles that match their personalities. I actually kind of imagined Fethry being the one painting these- what with being an artistic chappy and all

This is it. This is the best headline yet. 

Annual mermaid Lin says FUCK Trump

Freestyle Love Supreme at the Gramercy Theatre 9/30/16 (x)

someone: i thought you were straight

me: some people think donald trump is fit to be the president of the united states of america. we all make mistakes

Stop falling for low-key racist white boys 2k17

headcanon: Della can imitate Donalds voice perfectly, and shes been able to since they were young children. It took other people forever to figure it out because donald has such a unique voice, who else could be talking?

and because theyre twins, della can pass almost perfectly as donald when she ties up her hair and wears donalds outfit. They’ve used this to trick scrooge multiple times and it took him literal years to figure out that they did this

bbc.com
Steve Aoki: the man who works 361 days a year - BBC News
"When I'm not in the studio or touring and playing shows, I get fidgety," says DJ and producer Steve Aoki.

Next time you feel like a bit of a moan about how few holidays you get, spare a thought for DJ and producer Steve Aoki who plays 300 plus shows a year and takes less than an average working week off.

Okay, we understand the idea of travelling the globe and playing music to thousands of gibbering clubbers may not seem like work to most punters but the income tax man would beg to differ.

Anyway, we tracked Steve down on his uber-short vacation ahead of the Grammys where a Netflix film about his hectic lifestyle called I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead was nominated in the documentary category.

Steve also recently collaborated with One Directioner Louis Tomlinson on the track Just Hold On.

Steve, we’re speaking to you in Aspen, Colorado, how is it going?

It’s beautiful, I have a view of the mountains and the trees, it’s really nice.

Are you a country person at heart then or are you a city boy?

I’m a city boy that romanticises being away from the city.

300 shows a year and just four days off, is that all it takes to recharge the batteries?

I’ve got to take a break sometime, so I’m spending the days snowboarding and enjoying myself with my friends, I do that once a year and this is my four days off. I try to enjoy doing my hobbies. You get into a cycle and it becomes awkward when I’m not in the studio or touring and playing shows, I get fidgety, I have to get back into the grind. I’m lucky because I love what I do.

Where are you at your most creative?

That’s an interesting thing because before, I would have to find it in a a particular location but I’ve realised that my inspiration is everywhere I go and I need to be able to harness that and sometimes those moments of creativity are fleeting and you have to try and capture it when it comes. Luckily I get to travel the world and meet amazing creative people and you just have to be in the now and soak it in.

You spend most of the year travelling, what are your must-have travel items?

Just so I can survive, because I don’t have a regular sleep pattern, in order to sleep in a car or a plane, I have my eye-mask, my specific eye-mask, I have this obnoxious pillow I travel with and my headphones.

The most important bit about the eye mask is that it doesn’t touch my eyes so it looks like a bra for a doll, it’s bulging, I should paint some eyeballs on it. I put it on and it’s blacked out. I got my hood up, headphones on, if I’m travelling through Japan or China, I have a face-mask, you can’t tell who I am.

You’re working with the Migos, who were described by Donald Glover as ‘this generation’s Beatles’, what did he mean and do you agree?

I’ve know these guys for a long time, they played a show in Atlanta, we went into the studio and knocked out a song real quick. These guys are amazing, without writing anything down they get an idea and start vibing it out and just nail it in one go.

The thing about music is that you look at The Beatles and throughout history there are very few groups that define a sound and generation. That song Bad and Boujee is definitive of this time in America, of American culture, so I agree with Donald that they represent culture in a really massive way.

You had a new punk-influenced fashion collection showcased during New York fashion week, is this about scaling up 'Steve Aoki’ the brand?

I’ve been involved in fashion in one form or another for a long time, when I was 15 I was screen-printing shirts in my mum’s house for my first band and selling them on the road. So I knew it was something I wanted to do but it took a crazy long time for the Dim Mak collection to be ready.

We wanted to showcase it in the right way and so we turned the runway into a skate ramp so the energy of the [clothing] line was matched visually by what people were seeing as the skaters modelled the clothes.

You didn’t bother training models to skate then?

That would have been a disaster, we got some of New York’s best skaters that really knew how to rep the brand.

Lots of articles claimed New York fashion week was notable for how political some of the shows were. What is it like being a creative person working in Donald Trump’s America? Especially as a second-generation immigrant.

This is probably the worst period of time that I have lived in America, under this dictator-style, fascist president who is pushing his regime and clearing the rights of minorities, immigrants, women, the LGBT community, across the board - there are major steps backwards.

But one thing is for certain - the world is noticing that America itself is coming together and uniting as a voice. That’s why punk happened in the early 70s because it was the voice of protest and rebellion post-Vietnam and now its happening again. We’re having a renaissance. I’m excited about the voices and the people that are going to be speaking out.

There’s a lot of creative spirit, especially in music and the arts and fashion, it’s all part of a larger thing. The Rage Against The Machines of the world, they’re going to come back and inspire more people.

Can we expect some politically-charged material from you?

I can’t help it, it’s in my DNA and I’m not one to sit on the fence especially when something like this has shown its face. When I post something political or anti-Trump on my Facebook, some of the comments I get, you can’t believe how much ignorance is out there.

I might lose some fans by not staying neutral but I don’t have a choice, I have to use my voice.

The Signs as Things my Grandfather Has Done

Aries: Rolled down his window and screamed: “YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF IDIOTS” at people protesting something he didn’t personally agree with. (I can’t remember exactly what they were protesting… I just remember it happening)

Taurus: Trash talked Donald Trump on a number of occasions, and called the guy who threw the shoe at George W. Bush a “goddamn national hero”.

Gemini: Looked me dead in the eye and said “Shianne, I’m so glad you agree that Kirk and Spock are gay. I’ve been trying to tell your grandma that for years.”

Cancer: Recorded all the episodes of Full House and put them on a video cassette for me. 

Leo: Whenever we drove past the cemetery told the same shitty joke: “You know people are just dying to get in there…” He laughed hysterically every time this happened. 

Virgo: I asked him what he was afraid of, he answered, “I’m afraid of someone holding a gun to my head and threatening to kill my entire family. That’s what I’m afraid of”. I was 7.

Libra: Jumped out of a moving car to avoid an argument with my grandmother.

Scorpio: Watched FOX News with me and paused every 10 seconds to explain why they were wrong. 

Sagittarius: Stayed up all night watching reruns of Seinfeld on multiple occasions.

Capricorn: Got really irritated that I kept calling crayons “colors”. He corrected me every single time.

Aquarius: Never signed up for the draft, even though he was 18 in ‘68. Is also very proud of this and says “I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!!!” on many occasions.

Pisces: Took a picture with his toy sized Yorkie for his Christmas card. They posed like he was taking her to the prom, and he was wearing a suit for some reason.

Cabin//pt.3

(I’ve spent more time looking for a picture/gif for this than actually writing this. My fingers got a goddamn workout from scrolling for the past couple hours and I swear I’ve seen every BBH pic on the internet now. Just think about that chair as the dining room table chair, and he’s got the smirk I guess so… here)

genre: smut, fluff, friend!au,

warning: Eating out, graphic smut, A (kind of) HELLA TWIST, Baekhyun still being a goddamn tease like always.

length: I guess It’s a pretty good length

Authors note: SO THE SMUT BEGINS. A lot of you requested that the smut begins in this chapter, but a lot of you also requested that it didn’t so I thought I would meet you guys half way and give you something a little spicy to hold you off till the next chapter. Please don’t be afraid to leave recommendations or requests for what you want to see in later chapters in my ask box along with other smuts, fluffs, reactions, etc. Enjoy!

pt: 1 // 2 // 3

______

“You know you sleep talk.”

Oh no, oh no. You’ve been sleep talking since you were about ten years old, and everything that ever comes out is either gibberish, or your actual thoughts, especially when asked questions.

You laugh, although it comes off shakier than you would have liked. “Oh yeah, I once had a twenty minute conversation with my mom about why fidget spinners caused the cold war.” You walk towards the dining room table, trying to put on the best poker face you can manage, “wh-what did I say?” Good job y/n, now he knows you’re nervous.

He gives a little chuckle then slowly glides towards you, sitting in the seat just opposite. “We’ll…” he looks to the ceiling as if he’s trying to remember. “At first you were randomly talking about ‘the large cheeto man with a comb over’ and I assumed that you meant Donald Trump, so I asked you if you were talking about Donald Trump you said, 'Ah yes, he is a very large cheeto indeed.’” He takes a sip of his soda, “And when you answered my first question, I thought I might as well ask you some other questions.” Your eyes are wide and fingers gripping tightly to the bottom of the wooden chair. He see’s your panicked expression and gives you a sweet smile, continuing. “So I asked you, 'What’s your favorite thing about Baekhyun?’” Oh my god, OH MY GOD. “And you immediately said 'his smile’ and I thought that was really adorable, but then you sleepishly decided to continue,” You grip your chair harder, knuckles turning white. “'His smile, and oh god his hands? have you seen his hands? They’re sculpted by God himself, just like the rest of his body. But that smile, that smile is the best goddamn thing on this Earth. Oh and his singing voice. I can listen to him sing to me for the rest of my life.’” You slouch down in your chair, closing your eyes to avoid eye contact from the everlasting embarrassment that is now engorging you. “And when you’re finally finished about going on and on about my smile and how you can look at it all day and night, I asked, 'So what do you think about Baekhyun as a person?’ and you hesitated for a second so I thought you were awake,” he laughs “but then you rambled about how I was an ass for like 5 years to you and then you said,” You hear him take a sip, this time his voice turns a little more serious as he continues. You can practically feel his eyes burning through you even with yours being closed. “'Baekhyun is easy to fall in love with, especially when he’s your neighbor.’” Your eyes shoot open and meet with his immediately, “'The Baekhyun you fall in love with isn’t the Baekhyun that is an asshole to you everyday, but the Baekhyun you see behind his window. The Baekhyun that you see smiling and singing and being himself from a distance.’” You’re in shock, you didn’t even know you could comprehend sentences while you’re sleep talking, let alone confess this hardcore to Baekhyun. “It gave me quite a shock I do have to admit,” he gives you a nervous laugh.

You squeeze your eyes shut again in pure  embarrassment, “Baekhyun you weren’t supposed to hear any of that I’m sorry.” Your words come out fast and high pitched.

“It’s okay, really. I just thought it was funny?” He gives you a little shrug before you stand, heading towards the fridge for some orange juice, your throat is extremely dry.

Baekhyun trails behind you so he can sit at the kitchen island, “Is my smile really that great?” You hear him say playfully behind you.

“Yah! Baek shut up!” You say turning around to give him a dirty look, though it comes off more innocent than anything, you look more like a pissed off 7 year old.

“Baek? I like that.” He smiles widely, obviously trying to smile as much as he can now.

You roll your eyes at him and pour yourself a glass of orange juice drinking it slowly so you can coat your dry throat.

“So you actually wanted to die when I walked out of the bathroom in only a towel?”

You choke on your orange juice.

“Wh-what?”

“You said that you wanted to die when I came out of the bathroom because 'his body is so heavenly I had to run to the room just to get some air.’” He says in a mock voice, “OH! And I knew that you were staring at me while I slept the other night! You admitted it!”

You didn’t even know what to do. Do you run? Or laugh along? No, instead your body decides to do the most extra thing it can think of by squatting down behind the counter so he couldn’t see you.

“Ah it’s okay y/n, I know my lips are plump and exquisite under the moonlight.”

“Oh my god.” Was all you could whisper to yourself.

When you stood up from your awkward counter squat, your face was as red as a tomato.

“I didn’t think you found me so hot y/n.” He winks at you, taking another long sip from his soda.

You took a long sigh and looked skyward. Why the hell is this happening to you? This could have happened any other time, but no, it had to happen when you’re stuck in a cabin with Baekhyun for another 4 days.

“I’m gonna um… take a nap.” You say, pointing in the direction of the room before dragging your body down the hallway.

Just as you entered and started to close it, Baekhyun squeezed through and pushed you up against the door with one hand, the other settling right next to your head, trapping you.

“I wasn’t finished.” His voice came out deeper than usual.

He pushed towards you, lips almost touching as he whispered, “Did you like watching me get off to you?” You gasp and quickly look down at the floor.

He moves his head to the right, attaching his loft lips to your neck.

Your body is completely still, unable to move even if you wanted to.

He continues, “You kept going on about how nice my 'long thick cock looked in my hand as I was pulling it at the thought of you.’” The hand that was placed next to your head starts brushing your hair out of the way so he could lick up the shell of your ear, stopping to slowly suck on your lobe, “You were touching yourself on the other side of the door while you watched me cum at the thought of you?"Your thighs clench hard under the sound of his voice in your ear.

"Well?” He leaves an open mouth kiss on the spot under your ear, “Is it true?”
Not know what else to say, you nod your head and whisper a slow, “yes.”

His lips are on yours. His kiss is soft yet dominating as he licks your lower lip asking for entrance. Your tongues start battling for dominance, eventually submitting to him.

You thread your hands through his brown locks as he pulls your waist against him, clashing your bodies together. You submit completely into his touch, growing impatient as the feeling of his member becomes more and more prominent on your thigh.

Lifting you up, you wrap your legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. He turns around and starts to walk towards the bed laying you down, resting in between your open legs as you continue your rough make out.

Both hands start to travel up your shirt, slowly lifting it to see how you would react, “can I?” He breaths, breaking away from your lips for only a second. As soon as you nod the cloth is discarded from your body and thrown somewhere in the room in one swift movement.

He starts kissing down your jawline, down your neck, and across your collarbone, sucking lightly in places and swirling his tongue on the sensitive skin.

“Baekhyun.” You whimpered impatiently.

He gave your collarbones on last kiss before moving down to your bra. His right hand dug underneath you and unclasped it, removing it as swiftly as your shirt.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful.” He says lightly before taking your right nipple into his mouth. A moan escapes your mouth, arching against him as he uses his hand to need the other. He took your nipple in between his teeth, biting down only slightly so you would get a mixture of both pleasure and sweet pain, earning him a loud moan from you before doing the same to the other.

He starts to move downwards, placing open mouth kisses on your torso, stopping at the hem of your shorts.

He looks up at you for approval, his fingers rubbing up and down your sides, similarly to how he was doing in the lake earlier this morning.

You nod rapidly “Yes, Baek please.”

His long fingers hook in the hem of your shorts, pulling them down your legs, keeping eye contact with you. His hands caress your thighs, opening them so now his face was only inches away from your core.

He smirks up at you, seeing just how badly you want him by the pool of wetness showing through your panties. You squirm at the feeling of his hot breath hitting your clit.

“So wet. Is this all for me?” He smirks while pulling your panties down your legs.You whimper an almost silent yes, anticipating his next move.
He kisses your inner thighs, giving them small bites occasionally, marking you. He licks your outer lips up and down, never coming in contact with where you need him most.

“Baekhyun,” you pant “stop teasing, please.” lifting your hips in the slightest.

His deep laugh radiates through you “so needy.”

You sit up on your elbows, eyes fluttering shut when he finally gives your nub a small kiss, licking a stripe from your slit up, sweeping his tongue side to side as he reaches your clit.

You moan, hips bucking up to meet his face. He smirks up at you before wrapping his hands around your thighs to pin you down. You fall back against the pillow as you feel his lips wrapping around your clit, sucking harshly.

Moans and Baekhyun’s name tumble out of your mouth, eyes squeezed shut feeling only the pleasure his mouth is bringing you while grabbing a fist full of his hair, earning you a deep groan from him.

He adds a finger, entering it half way before pulling it out again. You whine, looking down at him, eyes pleading for him to stop teasing. He complies by entering his long finger, curling it immediately to hit your spot.
You gasp at the pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he adds a second digit. His fingers work fast, going in and out at a speed that matches with his tongue movements on your clit. Your moans become louder and louder, sweat and euphoria coat your body, feeling a heat begin to rise in your stomach.

“B-Baekhyun I-I-I’m gonna…” you can barely get the words out.
He takes his other hand and spreads your lips wider so your clit is isolated before sucking hard and bringing his tongue down in circles, giving you that last push to cum. Screaming his name, your orgasm rips through you, your body feeling only pure ecstasy. His lips and fingers continue, riding out your orgasm before driving you over the edge.

“Too-too much.” You whimper out, grabbing his hand.

He stops his movements, moving up your body to catch your lips. He sucks and bites down on your lower lip, pulling away slightly. He grabs your leg, wrapping it around his waist so he could press his clothed member against you. You moan into his mouth, feeling how hard he is.

In a sudden moment you hear the familiar click of the front door being unlocked and pushed open.

You both look at each other with panic.

With energy it seems like you harnessed from the sun, you roll off the bed and put on your clothes in light speed.

You turn to Baekhyun while hopping into your shorts “Stay here and pretend like you’re taking a nap.” You whisper.

He gives you a wink and a thumbs up before climbing into bed, turning away from the door.

You walk down the hallway into the living room to see your mom looking down at the mess you and Baekhyun had forgotten to clean last night sitting on the coffee table.

She looks up at you. “Hi sweetheart.” moving towards you to embrace you in a hug.

“Hi mom." You say while trying to hide the breathlessness in your voice as you hug her back, "I thought you guys were gonna stay for the retreat?” You give her the most innocent look you can possibly make.

She smiles, “Yeah, we still are. I just wanted to come and check up on you guys, make sure you’re okay. And I forgot my phone charger here and have been having to use your fathers, so I might as well come get that too.”

“Yeah were doing fine.” Steady your breath y/n. “Baekhyun’s asleep.” You say, giving a fake eye roll.

“Has he lightened up? You know, since we left?” The concern in her protruding through her smile, “I’m sorry, I know you two really don’t get along.”

"Yeah yeah don’t worry Mom, he’s gotten a lot friendlier.”

________________________________________________________________

Authors note: AH THANK YOU FOR READING! Don’t forget to leave requests, comments, your critique, etc., in my ask box/submission box ❤❤❤.

Stay tuned for part 4, It might get a little spicier ;)

Something I’ve been wondering

Scrooge’s outfit in The Billionaire of Dismal Downs. It quite obviously looks like certain other duck’s outfit.


And considering what happens to it in The Billionaire of Dismal Downs-

And Rosa’s characterization of Glomgold as someone who was always following Scrooge few steps behind and trying to catch up and mimicking him…

Remember that one time Pete tried to drown Mickey and Goofy, decapitate Donald and pretty much brutally murder them with no remourse in a literal Disney movie?

Because I think about that sometimes.

Last night I dreamt that Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump were trapped in an upside-down umbrella floating in the middle of the ocean during a really violent thunderstorm. They survived and, when they made it back to shore, to thank each other for their survival Donald gave Bernie a big, shiny, black limousine and Bernie gave Donald some hummus.