if i had a dollar for every

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

how about this:
if someone opens up to you about their mental illness(es), don’t reply with

  • “you don’t look/act like you have (disorder)” 
  • “you look so normal”
  • “I would’ve never known, you seem so happy”

how about you say

  • “I’m happy you’ve told me, if you need any help, let me know”
  • “I’m glad you trust me and told me this, ask me for help anytime you need someone”

or literally just DON’T be so ignorant

listen i got a rabbit when i was the ripe age of eight years old. originally named him button bc that was my old rabbits name and i was convinced if i just gave him that name the spirit of button would live on in him (rip in peace tiny friend) but after a while he chewed threw the fuckin lawn mower wire so my eight year old self called that sucker chompy. now i dont kno if you kno but rabbits are supposed to live like six to eight years as a pet, and before that button had kicked the proverbial fuckin bucket after a few months so we weren’t expecting the situation we’re currently in. chompy, as it turns out, gives absolutely 0 fucks what any rabbit website says. i am nearly twenty years old and this little dude just wont quit. you bet ur bottom dollar i go out every single mornin rain or shine to let his sorry ass out of the hutch so he can eat the grass, chase the birds and make my mum gnash her teeth and cry bc we cant plant shit bc he’ll straight up just devour any plant he finds. eleven years. this fucker is eleven years old. im pretty sure he’s just running on straight up spite at this point bc everyone i speak to in my family is like ‘is that rabbit still going?????’ you better FUCKIN believe that rabbit is tearin shit up in my back garden to this day. but now im in this situation where i tell ppl i have a rabbit and theyre like ‘ooo whats his name??’ and i, a nineteen year old, have to look them dead in the eye and say chompy. the ridiculous fuckin name i gave him eleven years ago. what a world 

THE SIGNS AS PICK-UP LINES
  • Aries: Are you my appendix? Because I have no idea how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
  • Taurus: Do you have a name or should I just call you mine?
  • Gemini: Spell me. (M-E) You forgot the D. (There isn't a D in me.) NOT YET!
  • Cancer: You look a lot like my future husband, I promise to take great care of you and our kids.
  • Leo: I'd rate you a nine out of ten, only because I'm the one you're missing.
  • Virgo: I may not be photographer, but I can picture you and I together.
  • Libra: You remind me of the sun because you constantly brighten up my world.
  • Scorpio: If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, then I'd only have one dollar because you never left my thoughts after the first time.
  • Sagittarius: You must not of took your vitamins today because you look like you're lacking in vitamin me.
  • Capricorn: If you were a triangle, you'd be a right triangle because you're ALWAYS right!
  • Aquarius: I'm good at math ok. U + I = 69, and the value of I is 59 because U are a 10.
  • Pisces: You must be a masterpiece because I want to pin you up against a wall and admire you whenever I see you.
a softer world sentence starters.
  • ❛ some people are so good at disappearing that you start to doubt your memories that they were ever there. ❜ 
  • ❛ how do you say goodbye to someone who was never there? ❜
  • ❛ i don’t want a world without pain, or loss. i just want them to mean something. ❜
  • ❛ there are some people who believe a photo captures their soul. ❜
  • ❛ if you love something let it go. ❜
  • ❛ you were not the first, you will not be the last. ❜
  • ❛ there are some secrets i will take to my grave, but i don’t want loving you to be one of them. ❜
  • ❛ you can still back out before anyone gets hurt. ❜
  • ❛ i said i’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. i guess that’s my problem. ❜
  • ❛ kindness won’t save anyone. ❜
  • ❛ for a long time i thought i deserved better. but the truth is we both deserve better than this. ❜
  • ❛ i wish there was a word that meant “goodbye” for someone who was already gone. ❜
  • ❛ i never meant to hurt you. you have to believe me. ❜
  • ❛ we’ll always have yesterday. ❜
  • ❛ hope softens the rough edge of every promise. ❜
  • ❛ love is stupid. happiness is admitting we aren’t better than stupid. ❜
  • ❛ you can’t always want what you get. ❜
  • ❛ i wish i had a dollar for every dollar’s worth of work i did. ❜
  • ❛ we are empty inside and hollow. hoping something sweet will make its nest in us. ❜
  • ❛ we’re too far from help. ❜
  • ❛ monsters are even more scary when you see them afraid. ❜
  • ❛ we carry our own loneliness with us. ❜ 
  • ❛ fake happiness beats genuine misery. ❜
  • ❛ they always trust me to be someone who i don’t even want to be. ❜
  • ❛ i cannot see where i want to go, only that i want the going.❜
  • ❛ you are never here. you are always almost there. ❜
  • ❛ you and me will die the way we lived, telling ourselves stories to make it mean something. ❜
Hey guys,

So I’m really terrified right now. I wouldn’t be making this post if I wasnt. Last summer I moved to the states in order to attend university here, and it’s been the best choice I’ve ever made. However, I barley make ends meet and I can’t find a job at all and I don’t even have a car so I can’t go long distances for work. This summer, I really want to go back home and spend time with my family, and I can’t stay in Texas anyway because I have to be out of my dorm by May. Anyway, a ticket back home to Egypt is really, really expensive and I’m really trying to come up with the money. I am so, so homesick it’s killing me everyday. This summer my brother is getting married and I really need to be home for that, and I don’t even know where I would stay if I couldn’t come up with ticket money. So, I’m going to put my paypal here and ask for anything, not even alot. If you can’t donate, please reblog this and help me out. I’m so sorry I had to make this post, but I really would appreciate every dollar you guys could give me, or even any happy thoughts ya’ll could send my way <3 thank you!

paypal: amirax319@gmail.com

i wish the antizoo people could spend a day with me at work

Just the other day I was in a staff meeting where we were all discussing how we can each take species conservation into our own hands. We are a very small zoo do we can’t do big things like reintroduction programs because we don’t have the money (@ all you sayings zoos are only for profit). So we are trying to take personal steps to go out into our local communities to help save animals. We already donate thousands of dollars per year to conservation initiatives around the world. My teen volunteers alone raised $10,000. We want to do more though.

Then I watched everyone fall apart in the same week. We had two animal deaths. One was our very loved 21 year old jaguar. She is the second oldest jaguar in human care that has been recorded. I watched all of the staff- even those who never worked with her- cry. We saw our friends hurting, we felt the pain of loss ourselves- and we cried.

Good zoos are not cruel places. They are filled with people who put every waking hour into the painstaking care these animals need for the good of the global community.

The people who work there are hands down the most passionate and caring people ive ever met. i have yet to meet anyone other than the researchers and rescuers we donate to that is just as caring and energetic about their jobs as the people who work in animal care.

i feel truly sorry for those who are so closeminded and against zoos. they are missing out on a gem of education, conservation, and research.

i had a revelation.

the opening song: alexander hamilton

anthony, or philip, sings “the ten dollar founding father without a father” - coincidentally, isn’t hamilton his father father?

daveed, or jefferson, sings: “every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted away” - coincidentally, doesn’t hamilton argue with jefferson over slavery?

oak, or madison, sings: “put a pencil to his temple and connected it to his brain” - coincidentally, doesn’t hamilton write the federalist papers with madison?

connections, guys. i’ve never realized that even who sang what had importance.

funny story

so when I was like 9 and 10 my friend and I were absolutely OBSESSED with webkinz. every dollar we had went towards buying webkinz, and combined we ended up with over 200. we made a youtube channel dedicated to webkinz music videos and all of our videos consisted of just fucking launching every webkinz across the room and bouncing them up and down in every possible location and filming it. we brought them everywhere with us (literally: restaurants, amusement parks, stores, etc). there was no limit to what we did with them. we were convinced we had over 200,000 youtube subscribers and one our videos has over 23K views. we were vehemently against ever getting rid of them and were determined to pass them down to our children like family heirlooms. today, every time I show a friend our channel they lose their fucking mind and every person finds it hysterical and I have to sit there in mortification.