Wanna park and act like an a**hole? Enjoy paying thousands.
Years ago, I worked as a security officer in a high-traffic tourist area (graveyard shift).
One of my responsibilities was to make sure my building’s loading/unloading zone is kept clear because at all hours of the day we’ve got vehicles coming and going for people going to meetings, visitors, tourists, cabs, etc. The curb is painted white and marked in big bold letters ✶ LOADING AND UNLOADING ONLY ✶ NO PARKING ✶. At the end of the zone there was a single handicap parking stall painted bright blue.
Now the building I worked at was nearby a few large night clubs, so every Friday and Saturday the area would be crazy busy with drunken fighting, vomiting, occasional alleyway sex, etc. All night long there’d be cute girls milling around in skimpy outfits, so the job had its perks too.
Clubbers would take advantage of my building’s valet parking service and pay to park in our garage before heading out to one of the clubs across the street.
Some clubbers would think they could get away with parking in our loading zone all night. My coworkers and I would aggressively patrol the area in the earlier evening hours and advise as many people as we could so they’d leave and avoid getting a ticket. It was also better for us if they left, because when there were too many vehicles parked out front, traffic would become a complete clusterf*ck regardless of the time of day.
Most people would be grateful for the information and leave. Occasionally, some douche would laugh in our faces, say something about pigs or rent-a-cops or whatever and leave their car anyway. In those cases, we’d call our city’s parking enforcement and they’d get a $90 ticket for their troubles.
One Saturday night, after finished a round of patrols, I went to take a leak. On my way back out, I walked past Dispatch and my buddy calls me over to the surveillance bank.
“Hey bro, you got one out front.”
I turned to the grainy feed just in time to see a piece-of-junk ‘97 BMW sloppily parking in front of our building. I murmured that I’d go out and advise the driver, but before I could leave, the driver exited his vehicle.
My buddy and I watched in silence as the driver, a young black male adorned with flashy cheap bling, hiked his pants up at the crotch and blocked the path of a couple girls walking by. He started hitting on them in the slimiest way possible, even trying to grab their hands and asses at one point, staring shamelessly at their tits while he was schmoozing them. He took out his phone and shoved it at them, presumably asking for their numbers.
Eventually the girls were able to dodge his grabbers and ran off toward the club across the street. He repeated this routine several more times with various groups of girls walking by, even taking out a small bottle of vodka from his back pocket and offering swigs. With each rejection, he’d get angry and presumably cuss out the girls as they hurried off (our cameras didn’t pick up audio but this seemed a reasonable assumption).
I sighed and looked at my buddy.
“Well, I guess I’ll go talk to him.”
I made my way out to the front and approached him just as another group of girls ducked away from him. I called out to him. He turned and stared at me blankly.
“Hey, man, just wanted to let you know that this zone is for loading and unloading. Normally it’s not a big deal to park for a bit but if everyone does it on the weekends, traffic gets backed up pretty bad here.”
The douche looked at his vehicle, then at my badge.
He flipped me off and went across the street, where he was promptly denied entry for dress code violations. He cussed out the bouncer and wandered off down the block. I walked over to his vehicle and saw that it was parked crooked, the rear of the vehicle partially blocking the lane of traffic. Half of his vehicle was in the white zone, the other in the blue zone. I key’d up my radio.
“8million to dispatch.”
“8million, go ahead.”
“Can you call parking enforcement for this vehicle? Lemme know when you’re ready for the plate.”
Fifteen minutes later, the parking officer arrived. He looked at the vehicle and promptly issued a $90 ticket for parking in the white zone and a $900 ticket for parking in the blue zone without a permit.
I thanked the officer and went back inside to have a snack.
A couple hours later, two of the local cops stopped by to say hi. As Officer Morris and his partner walked over, Dispatch radio’d me.
“Hey 8million, is that Jones and Morris?”
“You gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?”
Officer Jones and I lit up our cigarettes as Officer Morris looked on disapprovingly. We all smoked and chatted for a bit, then I casually motioned over my shoulder at the BMW.
“Hey, Jones, check out the parking job on that piece of shit.”
We all walked over to the corner and looked at the vehicle, the two tickets stuck on the windshield flapping in the wind. Officer Morris grabbed one of the tickets, read it over and looked at me.
“What’s the story here?”
I told them what happened and the driver’s response. Officer Jones and Morris looked at each other.
“8million, you got the time?”
“Yeah, it’s… 12:27AM.”
“Well it’s a whole new day now isn’t it?”
Officer Morris proceeded to write another $90 ticket for the white zone, then another $900 ticket for the blue zone. He paused for a moment after finishing the second one.
“Hey Jones, looks like this vehicle is parked more than twelve inches from the curb. What do you think?”
“Sounds about right.”
Officer Morris wrote another ticket for $120 and slapped it on the pile of tickets on the windshield. I shook both officer’s hands and they left to continue their patrols.
The next few hours of my shift went by fairly quickly. Around 5AM, Dispatch scared the hell out of me.
“HEY 8MILLION, ARE YOU STILL ON THAT CALL?”
“Negative, I just finished clearing it.”
“RESPOND TO DISPATCH ASAP.”
I ran down to the surveillance bank, where my coworkers were all gathered and laughing their asses off. Sunday was street cleaning day and the BMW was getting ticketed again by parking enforcement.
After that, we all stopped by Dispatch every 5-10 minutes to see if the owner had returned. Finally, at about 6AM, douchebag came stumbling up the block, looking completely worn out. His formerly-white t-shirt was stained and dirty and it looked like he’d lost at least one fight.
We watched in suspense as he looked at the pile of tickets crammed together on his windshield and slowly removed them. He stood there, pants sagging below his knees, shuffling through each ticket as if he were a toddler with a handful of Pokémon cards.
With a look of abject defeat on his face, he got into his vehicle and drove off. The whole room erupted in laughter and high-fives.
As the laughter died down, I picked up the office phone and started dialing. My coworkers eyed me curiously. I put the call on speaker just as the call connected.
“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”
“Yeah, hi, I’d like to report a possible drunk driver. I have the vehicle and driver description when you’re ready.”
Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.
Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me
There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you!
Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’.
Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.
Keeping your old friends
If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive.
But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.
Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
The thing is, Stiles is pretty sure he can’t afford to breathe the air in New York City, let alone rent an apartment there. But it’s also been his lifelong dream to go to NYU, same as his mom, and he’s just gotten his acceptance letter in the mail along with a hefty scholarship offer. So he has a bit of a conundrum on his hands.
Enter Derek, who has a (relatively) dirt cheap apartment in Queens.
Okay, so Derek calls it an “apartment.” Stiles calls it an “attic closet.”
It’s nothing but a narrow bed, a foot or so of walking space between that and the wall, and a lone shelf by the door to hold the microwave and all of Derek’s possessions that can’t fit under the bed. There’s not even enough room to open the door all the way; the edge of the door hits the edge of the bed, and then you have to shimmy into the room.
The sad thing is that Stiles can’t even afford that.
He can, however, afford half of it.
“So you’re going to share a bed,” Scott says, looking concerned.
“Yes,” Stiles says.
“No,” Derek says at the same time.
Scott looks more concerned.
Stiles sighs. “Okay, so it’s like this. Derek’s going to be doing the whole normal person schedule, up at the buttcrack of dawn” (Derek rolls his eyes) “and out working and studying and stuff all day and back in bed asleep by 11 pm, and I’m going to be taking all evening classes and working the night shift!”
“We won’t actually ever be in the same place at the same time,” Derek clarifies. “He gets it during the day; I get it at night.”
“Because we can’t stand each other,” Stiles adds, in case Scott is thinking of getting his hopes up that this whole roommates thing is going to be some kind of bromance.
Warnings: Swearing (guess it’s a little late for that though whoops I’ll just put that in the tags), food mention
A/N: Inspired by a debate between @botanistlester, @insanityplaysfics, and some anons on Phanfiction Catalogue about whether Dan or Phil would propose. I, um, might have been one of those anons btw (*cough* #TeamEliza *cough*). I hope this serves as an acceptable compromise.
Dan doesn’t bother to look away from the episode of Steven
Universe they’re watching, acknowledging his boyfriend only with a noncommittal
sound somewhere between a hum and a grunt. Phil’s using his ‘idea’ voice, and
as it’s barely past ten in the morning and Dan was up pacing the lounge until
nearly five, he has neither the energy nor the mental capacity to pay attention
to anything more complicated than cartoons right now. He pops another spoonful
of cereal into his mouth and hopes whatever Phil has to say is brief.
(He gets his wish).
“Marry me?” Phil says in the exact same tone he used last
week when he suggested that they go miniature golfing in the middle of a typical
I cannot believe it has been so long since I posted and I’m sorry, truly, that it’s taken me forever and a day to get my ass in gear. But due to recent events, I felt inspired to write something and I’m actually really, really happy with how this turned out!
Also, I owe a huge thank you to @permanentcross for giving me advice and reassuring me this wasn’t crap and to @canistay-haz for being her wonderful, loving self and telling me I don’t suck. You both are so, so lovely and I’m lucky that I can ask you for advice when I’m not confident in my writing.
Normally, Saturday mornings would be reserved for sleeping in, lazy kisses, and barely audible gasps filling your ears. Today however, you and Harry had to be somewhat functioning adults. You were having one last get together with Harry’s closest friends and family before his life was sent into the spotlight for who knows how long, and he didn’t get to be as free and open with his time as he had been.
You woke up about half an hour after Harry did, knowing you had things to do and people to see but you were having none of it. All you could think about was the slight yet very-much-still-there tingling sensation between your legs thanks to yours and Harry’s late night rendezvous. You smiled to yourself, rolling over and letting your face collide into Harry’s pillow, inhaling his lingering scent that made you want him all over again…
You made your way downstairs to your boyfriend, legs bare and torso covered in his ridiculously baggy pink shirt that was littered with the white polka dots, your rear just barely peeking out at the bottom hem. Harry was sporting only a pair of grey joggers that hung much too low on his hips, not that you were complaining.
“Morning, sunshine.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, peppering his back with tiny pecks.
“G’morning, poppet. Sleep okay?” Every morning after, without fail, he asks how you slept. He asks because he knows when you’re both in the heat of the moment, sex isn’t gentle. Not that it’s animalistic, but you and Harry like what you like and making sure you’re comfortable and properly taken care of after is an essential part of his aftercare routine; he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take care of you and pamper any part that might be slightly bruised or extra loved on. He does love a routine after all…
“Mhm,” you purr into his back, pecking his skin once more before he spins around in your grasp, your arms falling to your sides while he places one hand on your cheek and encloses your mouth with his.
“Good,” he smiles down at you, pecking your cheek before turning back to the countertop where you can see he’s been preparing a dessert for the get together later that night.
“Whatcha makin’?” you ask, hopping upon the countertop, legs swinging back and forth while eyeing the bowl of plain raspberries and the graham cracker crust that was still sitting in the tart pan Harry insisted he needed.
“How does a raspberry tart for tonight sound? Bought the pan, figured there was no use in letting it sit in the cupboard.”
You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. There was nothing comical about the dessert in and of itself, but you were feeling some type of way this morning and you couldn’t help but think of it in a provocative way.
Harry rolled his eyes, trying not to grin, “Why is that funny?”
You just giggled again and reached to kiss him on the cheek, “Maybe I wanna be your little raspberry tart. I already have the perfect shirt on.” Although you’d been sitting on the countertop for a good minute already, Harry had just noticed how his shirt had ridden up your thighs and he swallowed hard, also taking in how you had only the bottom two buttons fastened and there was little, if anything, left to the imagination. What Harry didn’t know was that you didn’t have anything covering the part of you that wanted him the most; he figured you’d just thrown on something skimpy just to torture him but no, you were completely bare, apart from the bottom of the hem under your bum, and sitting on your boyfriend’s counter. Harry didn’t have a prayer.
You smirked at him cheekily and even though you’d had him not even eight hours before, he could tell you still had an appetite for something else, something that filled you in a different way.
i super didn’t mean to write this tonight but the idea was SO GOOD and i’ve really been jonesing to write
the weeks following what they’re calling The Battle of New York,
Bruce settles into the Tower with an incredible ease.
floor Tony designed for him is shockingly well-suited to his tastes
and needs considering how Tony likes to claim he’s not a team-player.
suspects each floor is equally well-designed and perhaps that’s why
they’re all able to slip into a routine so quickly.
feels like something missing has slotted into place and Bruce can
tell just by looking at the others’ faintly bewildered expressions
when they look around at the space they share that they feel the
Title: No One’s Roasted Like Gaston. Pairing: Implied!- Gaston x Reader. Rating: T. Words: 2,231. Summary: Gaston thought he was undeniable to women and even some men. Has he finally found his match?
There was nothing particularly notable about the early mornings, at least, not anymore. The sky above was it usual mixture of pinks, purples and some lighter hues of blue as the sun rose and lit up the clouds, giving them a rather unique looking glow. There was a small wind, but not chilling, and brought in the lingering scent of meadows and trees. You got used to those aspects and they slowly became the norm. You began to not notice them at all, and remarked them as being every day life. If one wanted to really shake things up in a morning routine, they would count the cobblestones that made up each walkway in the village. But, that’s the thing. No one ever wanted to shake things up. They wanted things to stay the same for that is the way they had been living for as long as anyone could remember. With change came the unprecedented fear that something terrible would happen as a result.
It was the hustle and bustle of such a small village did leave one breathless and forgetful on occasion if you didn’t pay attention to where you were going and why you were going there in the first place. If one was aimlessly walking in the morning time while the sun peaked into the valley, one might be trampled by those selling goods and merchandise. Some too expensive, and some not expensive enough and left you wondering whether you had been scammed or if you had gotten a good deal.
Aimless and mindless were surely your vibe this beautiful morning. You had nowhere to be, nothing to do or see and so you actually took your time to walk through the village during one of the busiest times of day. There was a variant of smells, some of which you happened to thoroughly enjoy. Fresh bread, springtime air, a small caddy on the corner before the village square that was selling freshly picked roses. Contrary to the flowers smelling divine, the actual vibrancy of the colors caught your attention and dwindled you to stay and admire them for longer than you had intended . Vivid reds, pastel pinks, yellow whites. It looked as if these flowers belonged immortalized in a painting for the entire world to enjoy.
Smiling at the vendor who was a few feet to your right, you plucked a light, dusty pink rose out of one of the buckets full of water. It dripped down your fingers onto your wrist causing a small shudder to shoot down your arm. Miraculously, it looked as if a skilled painter had dipped their brush in the sky during dusk, mustered up enough color to splotch onto the petals of the flower. Some parts were darker than others, but all around, it was a very delicate and soft appearing flower.
“Beautiful.” You could hear someone behind you say. And without the need to turn around and see the speaker, you were already well aware of who it was. Probably looking at himself in the reflection of a window again, you snickered quietly. It was as if you could see the bright red uniform from your peripheral vision and it was already giving you a headache. Setting the flower back into the metallic bucket, you gave the vendor one more glance over and polite smile before drawing your attention to your left, with the unsuccessful hope of getting out of there without Gaston being connected at your hip.
Summary: Dean finds the blog you use to read smutty fan fiction. And of course, he decides he can write a better story about himself. You help.
Warning: Smut, some dirty talk, mutual masturbation, all kinds of fan fiction clichés
Word Count: 4350
A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. And thanks to @littlegreenplasticsoldier for being a great beta and being generally flawless. Hope you enjoy! XOXO
No. This isn’t happening.
This is one of those moments you’d had weird nightmares about, dreams that left you embarrassed and feeling all icky the next day until you finally convinced yourself that it wasn’t real. And just like those moments, this one will end any second now. You’ll wake up in some motel bed, Dean will be in the next room with Sam, asleep or showering or eating or anything but standing over your laptop with that look on his face.
Summary: Dean and reader pose as a couple to lure a vampire
Word Count: 2540
Warnings: Smut, language, near death situation
As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.
We were in the middle of this hunt when Mary called. We couldn’t exactly walk out on this, so Sam had volunteered to help Mary while Dean and I stay behind to finish the job.
Which led to the situation that I’m now in. It’s not so much a situation as a ‘how the holy fuck did it end up like this’ type of scenario. At the moment, as I sit in the Impala at the edge of a secluded forest with Dean, I wish that Dean had gone and Sam had stayed.
Not that it wouldn’t have been weird with Sam. It would have been weird, just a different kind of weird. Normal weird, not weird-weird. Sure, Sam is six plus feet of handsome, but the relationship I have with him is more sibling-ish. I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for Sam - the kind where my heart races a bit faster when he’s near and my girly bits get all tingly. Dean, on the other hand, has that effect on me. My relationship with Dean is strictly platonic, but that doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream. And boy, do I ever dream. The man is fucking sex on bow-legs. Can you blame a girl?
Here’s the thing about this particular vampire - he’s got a bit of a twisted fetish. His tastes run into the kinky. He likes to take his victims mid-coitus. Doing the nasty. Knocking boots. The horizontal Mambo. He’s a real piece of work. Like I said, he’s a kinky son of a bitch.
His modus operandi is to kill the male and snatch the female. We haven’t quite figured out what he does with the girls, but our best guess is he turns them. And keeps them for his own amusement, if you catch my drift.
But I’m getting off course here. Right now my gut is swirling with butterflies, my heart pounding loudly enough that this vampire can probably hear it a mile off. In just a moment, I’m going to be making out with Dean. Sure, it’s for the greater good, I volunteer as tribute, blah blah blah. I know it’s not real, it’s just for show, but I’m nervous as hell. I’m staring at his lips and he’s giving me that cocky as hell smirk, you know the one I’m talking about. His tongue darts out to lick his lower lip and I practically swoon. I’m like Scarlet fucking O’hara, I’ve got a case of the vapors. I might actually pass out.
Okay so I might end up making multiple parts for AU settings. This one contains mostly occupational/hobby/setting AU stuff. So unless an AU fic prominently featured a certain element, it’ll go on another list. So there are some College AUs, 2 Soulmate AUs, and maybe a few others.
“This always looks easier in those made for television movies,” Keith tells Blue, who rolls over and out of his lap, chasing her own bits of tinsel.
In It To Win It by Lucy_Claire One of two things was happening right now, either Lance was having a heart attack on of the biggest day of his life, or he had just laid eyes on his Soulmate. _______
Competitive swimmer Lance McClain feels his Timer counting down right when he’s about to jump in the water and finish up his race. He’s faced with two choices in this moment: Continue the race and miss meeting his Soulmate at their fateful time or abandon his life’s work for someone he never met.Lance makes his choice and has to suffer the consequence of never getting back what he missed out on. Or does he?
Swimmers Ocean Eyes by spacezuko Lance himself doesn’t even believe in his own abilities. He is drowning in his own pool of desire to be everything that he claims he is. Everything that he wants to be. Keith wonders if he’s broken Lance because he doesn’t say a word, his eyes filled with something opaque that Keith can’t quite pinpoint the meaning of. Lance’s eyes are a deep blue. Not the typical morning sky blue, but the kind of ocean blue one wants to drown in.
Lance did NOT think this through. Because not a single thing in this universe could’ve prepare him for the sight of Keith in nothing but a red pair of swimming trunks.
Keith has one arm bend behind his head and stretches it with the other. His back arches beautifully, presenting Lance a perfect view of his well-defined torso. At least the last thing Lance sees right before he dies are those ripped abs.
Ice Skating/Hockey On Thin Ice (WIP) by Minadora Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity.
This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.
Kiss My Ice (WIP) by delictor Lance hasn’t skated in a year since the accident that cost him the Olympics. Keith can’t skate for shit but that doesn’t stop him from catching Lance’s attention, even when he can’t so much as stand up after falling on the ice.
‘When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.’
“Soon as we’re off this ice you’re dead.” Keith’s threat is an empty one and he knows Lance can tell by the way he laughs at it. “Serious question though, do you not know who I am?” Lance questions. “Should I?” “No, I guess not.” Lance shrugs. “I’m gonna twirl you, okay?” “No, no don't—wait!” Keith cries out as he’s suddenly viewing the entire arena and his legs go rigid before colliding into Lance’s chest, his chest rising and falling with laughter, hands gripping Keith’s upper arms gently. “Put me back on land.” “Technically, we are on land.” “We’re on frozen water, get me off it.”
Quidditch (Non Hogwarts AU) The Marks We Make (WIP) by wittyy_name Lance McClain constantly dreams of the day he’ll finally meet his mysterious soulmate. They don’t say much, if anything at all, but they leave him with gorgeous paintings temporarily tattooing his skin. It’s not exactly the situation he hoped for, but when he feels the connection between them, he can’t bring himself to resent them. As much as he wishes his soulmate would just talk to him, he’s resigned himself to being patient. In the meantime, he has a loving family and good friends to help him get by.
Keith Kogane dreads the day he’ll finally meet his obnoxious soulmate. He’s just an art student who’s struggling to find his place in the world. There’s so much he hasn’t been able to control in his life, and the thought of having a soulmate, just another thing in his life which he also has no control over yet can’t do anything about, is a little terrifying. So he ignores the words that occasionally appear on his skin. He has other things to focus on: like being a new student at a big university where his childhood friend and step-brother go.
Keith blushed again, looking away with a huff. “Yeah, whatever. He’ll probably be distracted long enough that I can go back to the Castle before he decides I need some surfing lessons.”
Pidge laughed, that kind of cheeky giggle that made Keith and Hunk look over at them with wide eyes. Pidge raised a single eyebrow at Keith, grinning mischievously. “Oh, but you won’t be going back to the Castle any time soon, now will you? Not when Lance is out there, soaking wet, wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks.”
Pride Tide by lemoninagin He’d stared up, watched the differing patches of sunlight play the most stunning array of colored patterns across Keith’s pale face as he grinned mischievously over him. Time slowed, his own breathing became laboured and caught in his throat.
“You can teach me, right?” Keith had asked in a shyer voice than usual, brushing the tangled mess of his windswept hair away from his eyes and cocking his head towards the boards.
Save his smile by Queerswimming Keith wants to protect Lance’s smile and finds his answer at the beach. Starring an awkward Keith, Surfer Lance and Hunk playing a giant ice berg.
Lance caresses the wood gently. His eyes turn soft as he speaks. “My big brother taught me how to build a board.” He laughs softly. “I always messed it up though. I wasn’t patient enough to do it right.“ He taps on the wood and looks at Keith with a sad smile that knocks the breath out of Keith lungs.
“Who would have thought that I would build a surf board in space though.”
He laughs at that but Keith can tell that Lance is faking it. He always can.
Roller Derby Like Devo by surveycorpsjean As rival jammers, they’re rough, skating around the rink, giving bruises, bloody noses, broken ribs and snapped fingers-
But when the cops show up, Keith grabs his hand and yanks Lance into the storm drain.
And thats how they start dating.
Streetracing Purple Lamborghini by warschach “I need you to focus on this race. No more hate flirting with Keith as much as I enjoy it. I like winning more.”
He scoffed, “I don’t flirt.”
“Then stop saying you’re going to teach him how to ride.”
“I was talking about driving. Duh,” Lance countered with an attitude mastered purely by Valley girls and entitled customers.
“Yea, Lance it doesn’t come off like that at all. It sounds like you’re gonna fuck him.”
ARTISTS (also including Musicians and Modeling)
Photographer Pretty Boy by MilkTeaMiku (photographer!Keith) A pretty Spanish boy shoves a bouquet of flowers under his nose and tells him to stop and smell the roses, so Keith does.
Roommates by manamune (photographer!Lance, artist!Keith) (13:24) Lance: Thank you!! Love you, Keith!!!
(13:55) Keith: I’m screenshotting that for the next time you deny it.
Sight for Sore Eyes by writewild Photographer!Lance’s deadline for the magazine he works on the side for is coming up really soon, and has to search last-minute photo opportunities soon. One boy catches his eye.
Riptide by songsofthespring (photographer!keith, surfer!Lance) Keith fumbles with the camera around his neck and lines up a shot. The boy coasting down a wave, one hand kissing the water. Keith zooms in as far as his lens will allow him. Droplets frame the boy’s brown skin and cling to his hair and chest. His eyes, little pinpricks of light from this distance, are nevertheless still recognizably as bright as the ocean itself. It looks like he could be dancing when he rides a wave; every part of his lanky frame seems to merge with the board and the ocean beneath him.
Foreign Scenes (WIP) by bwyn Lance has been dreaming of travelling since the first time he heard stories from his family as a child. Now, having finally the time and money to do it, he goes on a trip to Europe to see some of the most culturally rich cities on the continent. Except he keeps bumping into the same guy over and over again, in random cities, doing stupid shit, and ultimately dragging Lance into his trouble, too.
Basically an AU in which Lance and Keith become impromptu travel buddies and get into trouble.
Keith is an art student who mostly keeps to himself, taking note of the beauty in life but keeping his distance from it. This includes the beautiful dancer he sees across the street from his apartment…until a week-long art project pushes him to change that.
(For Klance Secret Santa 2016)
And Now You’re Mine (WIP) by Samyx914(some artist!Keith) “No, really. I’ve been thinking about that movie since I got up and that’s the only copy they have and I want it.”
“But, I was faster.”
“But, I want to watch it.” The stranger laughs.
“Well, you could always come home with me to watch it.” He says with a wink.
“Okay.” The stranger’s eyes widen. What the fuck, Keith? No. You don’t go home with strangers… Anymore.
In which Keith wants to watch a movie, so he goes to find it at Walmart. When there’s only one copy left and someone else picks it up first, his only option is to go home with a stranger. Keith didn’t count on this stranger being so easy to fall for.
Visions by becca2793 "It’s funny, because as a tattoo artist he makes art that lasts pretty much forever – as far as the person who has it is concerned – but a street artist…their art lasts maybe a couple of days.”
Keith comes in for a tattoo; Lance immediately falls in love. With his art. His love for Keith comes later.
(Pidge elbows Lance sharply a little while later. “You’re not dying, dumbass,” they whisper. “Pay attention, the pose started.”)
Written for klanceweek day 1, “Red/Blue”. Art class AU where Lance can’t focus because one of the new life drawing models is too attractive.
Cute as Fcuk by anonymouschupacabra Even though he had never seen the hot guy before in the year that he’d been going to college, it was like the dam had broken, because Lance saw him everywhere. From the sculpture rooms, to the library, to the cafeteria, the guy was everywhere Lance was, and it only made it that much harder to ignore the hot buzzing he felt inside every time he saw him.
i bet you look good on the dance floor by xShieru “So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.
Keith snickers. “Absolutely not. You are Jennifer Grey in this situation.”
“That’s a fair point. Nobody puts me in a corner,” replies Lance, nodding seriously, before his expression turns mischievous.
“So then…are you saying you want to call me Baby?”
Keith flushes red, but stands his ground as he leans in closer. “Are you saying you want me to?”
Shut Up and Dance With Me (WIP) by wittyy_name Lance and his friends have been regulars at the Altea Dance Studio for years. Not just for classes, but to hang out, practice, and spend time with good people who love dancing. Every year, they audition to be one of the few representing Altea at the regional dance competition. Lance always auditions solo, but this year he misses out on auditions and blows his chance to participate. And so does his self-proclaimed rival, Keith.
Luckily, Shiro comes up with a brilliant plan: convince Lance and Keith to audition as a duo.
With a little convincing, and a lot of effort, these two might just be able to pull it off and go to regionals… or they might crash and burn.
Musicians That Would Be Alright by icedsonder And call it spur of the moment, his exacerbated pining over past few months, or even his own alcohol impaired judgment, but Keith let his inhibitions take a backseat as he took a step forward and pressed his forehead against Lance’s to sing his next lines.
“I know I’ll fall in love with you, baby”
Musically Insane by myparadisepalace It had only taken Lance three days after becoming the blue paladin to realize there were no instruments in the castle. And even if there were, Lance figured they’d be too obscure and strange for him to be able to play.
PROFESSIONS (i.e. cops, doctors, EMTs, waiters)
Soldiers/Assassins/Spies Counting in Code by DLanaDHZ There was no one better in the field. The Voltron Force was efficient and deadly, and they took no new recruits. They were hand-picked, and though they didn’t always get along, they were family. Under the stress of a mission, the team counted each other as a way to calm down and focus. But Keith couldn’t count, because counting meant he knew where everyone was, and right now all he had was a pair of bloody dog tags in place of his partner.
blink if you want me by xShieru He wakes up to Pidge’s face hovering above him. “You gotta stop running into him like this.” “Dude, he fucking shot me.” “I know. We saw.”
A hitmen AU wherein two thirsty assholes fall for each other and then jeopardize their respective missions because of it.
Retail/Food (waiters/cashiers/clerks) Melt With You by dumpsterdiva If you ask Keith what summer means to him, he’ll say shitty weather, a bag of quarters, sticky blue raspberry kisses, and not-quite-midnight sandwiches.
Summer job AU at the pier feat. Keith as a shaved ice slave and Lance as an aquarium camp counselor.
Tollbooth Operator Drive Me Crazy by battleshidge Keith stared blankly at the tollbooth operator for a moment before trying to stifle a groan. Somehow, he always managed to get the booth with the flirtatious attendant, a lanky brown-haired man with clear blue eyes and a confident grin. It didn’t matter that he changed what lane he went through—at least three times a week on his way home from work, Keith was forced to suffer through the horrendous flirts that this man tossed his way.
Taxi Driver Finish What You Started by battleshidge “You were right,” Keith breathed, looking up at Lance with a fire in his eyes. “I did start this,” he lifted his chin, pressing a soft kiss to Lance’s jaw. And another. And another. Lance thought it was torture—sweet, sweet torture. And then that challenge sparked in Keith’s eyes again as he asked, tone low and resonant, “Are you going to finish it?”
Pizza Delivery You Stole a Pizza My Heart by KaSaPe Keith just wanted a pizza. The cute delivery boy with the weird grin and stupid flirting (?) had other plans.
Or: Keith just doesn’t get Lance’s flirting. At all.
“I’d like to buy you a drink,” he starts, and grins, “and then get sexual.”
Keith shoves him into the water.
(or: lance and his family go to california for a two-month vacation. cue hot lifeguard keith gyeong-kogane.)
Lessons by amycoolz and SylviaW1991 Keith has been nothing but a thorn in Lance’s side since the mullet-haired ass first walked into the classroom. But when he decides to get himself shoved into the deep end and, wow, can’t even swim, Lance has to save his pretty self and then Pidge volunteers him to teach Keith how to swim. Great. Just great.
Nurse Racing Heartbeats and Hospital Bedsheets by screwtodayimsleeping (nurse!Keith) Me: Hunk Me: Buddy Me: emergency!!!! HunkyBae: what’s up, lance? Are they not letting you out of the hospital yet? Me: HUNK Me: the male nurse that took my blood was probably the sexiest person i’ve ever seen Me: and im literally wearing two sheets as an outfit
“Coran thinks you’ll bang at the Christmas party but I think that’s giving you guys way too much credit,” Pidge says thoughtfully. “Hunk is a romantic. He thinks Lance is gonna ask you out any day now. I think he’s got a week or so before he owes me like a hundred bucks.”
“Pidge, what the fuck?” Keith says, flustered. He nudges them again with his foot, this time slightly harder. They scowl at him, swatting him away. “Why would you bet on me and Lance?” Part 1 of Office AU
Cactus by PinkHitman When Keith moves from the desert in the middle of ass backwards nowhere, to plop in the middle of the big city, he doesn’t expect to instantly grow fond of the tall, endearing, jerk across the street. But it’s hard not to see roses when said person works in a flower shop.
SOCIAL MEDIA (Tumblr AU, bloggers, Youtubers, gamers)
Youtubers you had me at merlot by DJAlien “Oh my God,” Lance says as he covers his face. Keith’s tinny voice blares from his laptop speakers: “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.” See, this joke might have been funny if someone charismatic and charming had said it, but Keith’s flat voice and even flatter expression effectively kidnaps, tortures, and then decapitates any chance of it being remotely humorous.
Keith accidentally starts a YouTube channel. Lance, of course, refuses to be left out. It goes about as well as you’d expect. (Ft. copious amounts of wine and a truly shameless number of references to MyDrunkKitchen, DailyGrace, and general pop culture)
The Boyfriend Tag by theoddpacolypse Keith and Lance are famous YouTubers, along with the rest of their friends, and though they consider each other “rivals” in some ways, they are actually incredibly close. So close that they are actually dating in secret and constantly dropping hints to their fans, whom desperately want them together. Part 1 of What Happens on Youtube series
Red’s voice snapped in his ears, and Lance cursed under his breath. He tried to backpedal quickly, but being flat on his back with the enemy looming above made for certain movement limitations. On top of that, he was already injured, and he could see the red patch spreading across his thigh. He could really use some of Hunk’s portable healing pods, that was for sure. And that, Lance observed, was a very nasty looking knife that was about to plunge straight through his chest.
Effect: +100% Love, -100% Logic (WIP) by manamune In the real world, Lance is barely making it by in his senior year. He’s failing most of his classes and is only one more fuck up away from being kicked off the swim team.
In the virtual reality game Voltron, Lance lives an entirely different life as the internationally-known Blue, an archer with impeccable aim. He’s filthy rich, has a trillion friends, and is a part of the most feared guild in the game.There’s just one problem: he’s madly in love one of his guildmates, Red.
Things begin to go downhill when a kid who acts suspiciously similar to Red transfers to Lance’s school.
It’s Mutual (Follow Back Already) by JessicaMDawn At twenty-four, Keith decides to figure out what this 'tumblr’ thing is. It’s confusing at first, but Keith learns to have fun with it with help from a few new friends. AKA Keith’s adventures on tumblr.
I School Days
1. Show up to class a little early. It’ll give you time to set up, read over some old notes, put your water bottle/thermos on your desk, fill out your planner if you couldn’t in the previous period(s), check your planner to see if you have something on that day etc.
2. Sit in the front or second row. I’m serious, you will definitely benefit. Write detailed class notes. Pick whatever system works for you. I usually write my titles in red pen, notes in black pen, underline points that are repeated/emphasised, highlight keywords at home
3. If you have time at school, do as much homework as you can. If you know you have commitments that day, please for the love of your education do your homework at lunch. I know you might feel awkward, but your friends will understand.
4. When you get home, first list down all the homework received that day on a q card (cross off as you go). Then write the same tasks in your bullet journal, but as a daily spread. Use stayfocusd or self control for mac + leave phone in a different room. FINISH ALL OF YOUR HOMEWORK. If for some reason you couldn’t complete a homework task, write it on a sticky note and place it on your wall. After homework is done, write your revision notes (flashcard the info as well). Place the notes in your accordion folder/binder. If you have some loose sheets at any point, place them in a ‘To Be Filed’ box. Sort that out when you’re packing your bag for the next day.
5. Go through the flashcards made that day and the flashcards made on the previous days.
List out all assignments/assessments on another q card with their due dates. This will come in handy later.
6. Pack your bag the night before. Remember your accordion folder + make sure your ‘To Be Filed’ box is empty. Put water bottle in the fridge and make meals for the next day.
7. The next day, wake up early, complete any unfinished homework, go through flashcards again, read through revision notes, make lunch for the day, put laptop in bag, put food + water in bag, exercise (esp if you have commitments after school), shower, change, blah blah blah. Only do this if your schedule is packed, and in my case, this is a must.
1. On Friday nights, first off, do homework. You will thank yourself for it. Whip out that list of assessments/assignments and allocate half days to knock off at least two of these little assholes. Work ahead, you will feel much better.
2. Do your readings. For English, knock off some wider reading novels, for HSIE, knock off some textbook unit readings (two units ahead), for science, knock off some more textbook readings. Write summaries of each page. Type these summaries. Print these summaries. Place in accordion folder/binder. Flashcard the info. Spend like half a day doing this lmao.
3. Spend 1-2 hours going through the flashcards you made that week for each subject. This counts as studying my friend.
III Weekends When You Actually Have Assessments
1. Due to your working ahead, homework completion and readings, you shouldn’t be panicking too much. Get those revision notes and slot in the textbook readings notes. Highlight, annotate, read aloud, go through flashcards and get someone to test you on the content. Make sure you know all terms, formulae, key concepts, vocabulary etc etc
2. As for assignments, again due to your working ahead just print them out and heavily edit those little asshats. Then type the edits into the doc. Repeat this process four times. Then get someone to read it. Make sure all your assignments are on your USB + email them to yourself because you never fucking know tbh.
3. You’ll probs have to sacrifice your reading time but that’s chill because the teacher/prof will probably be focusing on prepping you for the actual assessment + you gotta do what you gotta do.
Seriously, just do your homework the day you receive it, write revision notes, do your readings, write notes on those readings, make flashcards, knock out assignments as soon as you know they actually exist, read every wider reading novel (analyse these novels), read your required readings (analyse this too), go over flashcards every morning/afternoon, make use of spare time in class, do homework at lunch if needed, stick to your schedule, buy coffee/hot chocolate in the mornings and put it in a thermos, keep a necessities pouch in your bag, keep your P.E shoes in your locker, use a planner, track your spending, wash your hair, brush your hair, go to commitments, attend school events, attend events you’re invited to, go shopping, watch movies, be kind to yourself, take bubble baths, light candles, listen to music, SLEEP, get that A and most importantly be proud of yourself.
Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors
and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find
Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about
dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Word Count: 2,613
fluff, sarcasm, complete and utter denial, social drinking
A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?”
Their brains are wired differently and some things that work for them won’t work for us. There’s a chance those tips and tricks won’t do anything for you, which might make you feel like a failure. You aren’t! If something doesn’t work, move on. It’s okay.
2) If you have executive dysfunction, laziness and lack of motivation is not your problem
When you struggle with executing tasks it may feel like you are lazy and aren’t motivated enough, but that’s not necessarily true! You might be hella motivated and still not be able to do a task. Trying to motivate yourself in that case will only make you more frustrated.
3) Get distractions out of the way
Little things that would not distract a neurotypical person might distract you, in which case you won’t be able to work to your full capacity. Build a sensory friendly environment with no noises, bright lights, bad smells, etc. Use ear plugs or music if you need to. Get stim toys if you stim a lot to concentrate. Good environment is very important and is probably the reason why you struggle at school/college/uni where your senses might be overstimulated.
4) If you tend to hyperfocus, learn when it happens
Hyperfocus can be incredibly useful for studying, so if it happens to you, try to identify when it happens. For me I tend to hyperfocus when there are absolutely no distractions (for me that often means when I have headphones on and I’m alone). Then replicate those factors to get more done.
5) Learn ways around executive dysfunction and limited energy
This is the most difficult part. Studying when you have problems with executing tasks and limited spoons (energy resources) is tough. Here’s how you can deal with it.
6) Understand your priorities
You will not be able to do as much as NTs do in one day. Deal with it now. Understand that simple tasks such as brushing your teeth or talking on the phone also require energy. So prioritize. Assume you can only do one thing today, the most important/urgent one, and do that first. Then the less important thing. And so on.
7) “Don’t half-ass things” is a lie
Half-ass things. Quarter-ass things. If you can only do one math problem today, do it. That will be one less math problem later. If you can only read a few pages of a textbook today, do it. It’s also easy to think “if I can’t write the essay and finish that project today, might as well do nothing”. That’s a lie too. Do a small thing but do something. Do something badly but still do it. You might be able to fix it later. There’s no shame in being disabled, no matter what society makes you think.
8) Do the most complicated thing first
If you have several tasks and one requires more executive functioning, do that first. Your planning skills are probably at best right after you wake up, before you have time to spend any energy. So that’s the best time to do tasks with many steps or to plan tasks ahead.
9) Rest and take breaks right
It’s important to take breaks in between work, but you have to do it right. You might be tempted to do something useful for a break to be productive - like take a walk or read a book or talk to someone. Do not, or at least do not unless you are absolutely sure. Switching to another task requires mental energy, so that will only deplete your energy sources.
For breaks, do something ridiculously easy. Go on social media. Listen to a song and sing along. Watch a YouTube video. Stim. Daydream. Even lay down and close your eyes for five minutes. Just don’t switch to tasks that also require energy.
10) Don’t try to learn by repetition
Studies show that learning by repetition doesn’t work for us. It will not help you make more connections in your brain. Instead, do different tasks. Read from a book. Write down important points from the book. Read them out loud. Try to repeat them without looking. Pretend to explain it to someone. Answer questions related to the material. Draw it. Watch a video about it. Make a mnemonic for it. Whatever. Just don’t sit there reading it again and again.
11) Be kind to yourself
Your energy levels and capabilities will fluctuate from day to day, and you can’t always know how it will turn out. On some days I can write an essay from scratch in one sitting. On others I struggle to make myself a cup of tea. That’s normal, and it’s not your fault. Blaming yourself for it will only upset you and make it less likely that you do at least something today.
Imagine it like this: you are playing a game, and the difficulty setting randomly switches every day. On some days it’s on easy and you get through five levels with no problems. On some days it’s on very difficult and you can’t even get to the first checkpoint. That’s okay. Say to yourself, “my abilities haven’t changed, the difficulty changed”. Today, just get to that checkpoint. Tomorrow you might get through five levels.
12) Learn from other autistic people
For any other problem you might come across, other autistic people are the best source of knowledge. Allistic parents, teachers, friends, mentors, etc are likely to not understand your problem at all, or give you bad advice. Instead consult the real autism experts - actually autistic people. There are plenty of us who got through school, college and/or uni. Reach out to them. They will help.
Drawing up treaties with the prisoners has been…exhausting. It feels like she’s doing the whole thing over again, except that she’s on the opposite side this time and she manages to get them to talk before exchanging bullets and spears.
So, in retrospect, not as exhausting as the first time around. At most, all she can complain is that it’s a little repetitive.
And she doesn’t have Bellamy by her side, this time. But she tries her best not to think about that.
She still finds time to radio him, most days, an outlet more than anything. Her voice doesn’t break on his name like it did those first few months, and then again at the five year mark.
It’s good for her, she thinks, talking to him. Madi has been a godsend for her sanity—giving her a sense of priority, a schedule, with all her lessons, and most importantly, someone to love—but she is still a kid, and Clarke misses talking to her friends. Misses Bellamy, more than anything. There’s no point denying it.
He was more than a best friend, which sounds overly sentimental to her own ears, but you don’t go through what they did together and not come out of it as each other’s person. So yeah, she misses him like a constant, familiar ache.
Or maybe she misses the person she remembers. Misses what her brain tells her he was. She can hardly trust her memories, now. Can hardly say for sure if he’d looked at her the way she thought he had, six years ago. If he’d really had the persistent aura of warmth that she still imagines.
Summary: In which a football game with all of the Avengers helps you determine who’s the better Rogers.
Pairing: Steve x Reader
Word Count: 2,212
A/N: This one is especially written for the forever beautiful @beccaanne814-blog ! Becca, my love, I hope you are having an amazing day because that’s exactly what you deserve. I’m so grateful to have you in my life and I hope you enjoy this!
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Are you sure you want to do this?“ You counter, lips tilting up into a smirk.
“Okay.” Steve shrugs, adjusting the sleeves of the red shirt that was made especially for this occasion. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Y/N!” Tony yells from across the field. He has his arms crossed over his chest and his frown is visible even from this distance. “Stop fraternizing with the enemy!”
Summary: You and Yoongi shared a loving relationship with one another until you both agreed to end things and pursue your separate careers. But two years later, Yoongi is a member of the ever growing Bangtan Boys, and you are a new makeup artist for their upcoming tour. Pairing: Yoongi | Reader Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut; Idol & Makeup Artist AU Word Count: 5,434
You wish that your natural inclination toward Yoongi’s gestures, thoughts, and emotions was something you could flick off like a light switch. You wish you could turn off certain memories and knowledge, how you could tell and understand so readily about what Yoongi was thinking about.
The boy use to always be a stellar liar, able to cover up his emotions well in the form of a defense mechanism, but over the time you got to know him and date him and love him, you’ve always been unbelievably good at reading him. You understood better than most about how the air around him hung and what kind of emotions were always just brimming underneath the surface.
But you hate having that kind of knowledge now. You hate knowing that even after all this time, all this distance, after that heartbreak, Yoongi still cares. He cares so, so much, that desire swimming underneath the surface, he cares so much that the thought of you running off with Hoseok is enough to make his blood boil.
You never wished you could unlearn something more. You wish you could forget the way he looked at you that evening in Tokyo, telling you he didn’t care about you and he didn’t care about you and Hoseok when it was so glaringly obvious that he just cared too much.
That’s probably where things started to change between the two of you.