if i drink enough i can tell myself it's no big deal. but

blue orchids

hanahaki & soulmate au (reposted)

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: angst and a sprinkle of fluff
word count: 18.748
warnings: implied smut
disclaimer: I do not own the hanahaki disease concept.

I am immensely thankful for the talented people who have created art / edits for this story: x, x, x, x, x, x ♡ also, make sure to read moonlight (drabble from jimin’s pov) and home after rain (short sequel) after reading this story. enjoy!

You were eighteen years old when Jimin’s name showed up on your hand.

The day is fresh and clear in your memory: early December, the winds stronger than ever as they threatened to pierce through the windows of your room, hints of snowflake dancing in the air as the first snowfall augured an even sharper winter. There was a smile on your face that didn’t match the unrelenting coldness of the month, and even though the night was falling and the air felt icy on the tips of your fingers, there was only warmth in your chest as you went through the pictures of your phone.

Pictures of you and Jimin drinking hot chocolate, of clumsy iceskating, of funny faces that made you laugh out loud in the quietness of your bedroom. The feeling sparking in your chest could be considered somewhat dangerous— after all, you were just a girl that didn’t have any marks on her skin, a girl whose fate was yet to be decided. Something as enigmatic as love could be a treacherous thing, too risky for someone that couldn’t decide their destiny on their own.

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100 quote prompts

Feel free to use these quotes directly, or just use them as inspiration!

1-“These are my absolute favorite pajamas!”
2-“How could you say that to their face?”
3-“Woah, nice catch!”
4-“You’re lucky to be alive right now.”
5-“This is the last chance we’re ever going to get.”
6-“When was the last time you flossed?”
7-Wait, wait, how many did you say there were?“
8-"I’m horrified, yet impressed.”
9-“Give it to me straight,  Doc!”
10-“I miss someone i never knew.”
11-“I didn’t know you could sing!”
12-“This is all the money I have.”
13-“Oh please, please pick up the phone!”
14-“Do you think you could teach me?”
15-“Just answer this one question and i won’t ever bother you again.”
16-“I don’t actually like sushi, I lied to impress you.”
17-“uhhh…anyone know what poison ivy looks like?”
18-“What do you mean you never learned how to tie your shoes?”
19-“Name one thing I’m bad at. Ha, you can’t,  can you?”
20-“I just don’t think we’re compatable.”
21-“I bet you 50 bucks you can’t drink this entire thing of hot sauce.”
22-I really don’t want to hear about medical problems"
23-“Stop saying your worthless, because you’re not.”
24-“Wow, that’s a really wierd looking bug.”
25-“Just because you saved my life dosent mean I owe you anything!”
26-“I will never die!”
27-“Today would’ve been a disaster without you.”
28-“I’m begging you,  go change your clothes. ”
29-“You still haven’t found them?”
30-“I’m not sure how you did it,  but I’m glad you did.”
31-“Not around the baby!”
32-“Hey, do you think horses know they’re horses?”
33-“How much of my life has been a lie?”
34-“If you don’t tell them you like them,  I’m going to do it for you.”
35-“Wow, that’s almost as old as you are!”
36-“Its because of you my arm hurts so much.”
37-“I told you never to open that!”
38-“Everything has to be a goddam ordeal with you,  dosent it?”
39-“Sorry, but that’s just not your color.”
40-“How do you live like this?”
41-“You’ll always be my best friend,  but…”
42-“Is that really the best insult you could come up with?
43-"There’s a reason I never go outside.”
44-“You should really get that checked out.”
45-“Why are you ignoring me?”
46-“Can you believe it’s been so long?”
47-“I just want one nice picture of us!”
48-“Really? You’re going to judge me for this?”
49-“It’s ok, just ask first next time.”
50-“What could go wrong?”
51-“We’ve both changed”
52-“I was a fool to trust you.”
53-“I’m mad at myself.”
54-“You promised you wouldn’t laugh!”
55-“I know it'stechnically not a big deal but i will totally fight you over this.”
56-“Would whoever left their dirty sock on the living room floor please come pick it up.”
57-“I didn’t push you,  the wind pushed you. ”
58-“Hey, thanks for making an effort.”
59-“I totally called it, but no one listened!”
60-“How can you stand this mess?”
61-“But you have to remember!”
62-“You’re not the person I thought you were.”
63-“That was incredibly stupid and dangerous. Nice job. ”
64-“It’s your birthday!?”
65-“Can I tell you about a dream I had?”
66-“How was i supposed to know that’s a a rude gesture here?”
67-“I wasn’t certain that really happened.”
68-“Why do you smell so wierd?”
69-“That was awful! Let’s do it again!”
70-“It’s time to face the consequences.”
71-“That is the most elaborate prank I’ve ever seen.”
72-“You know I love you, but that was the worst.”
73-“I’m trying my best,  but it’s just not good enough!”
74-“Now who’s ready to probably die!”
75-“Well,  it turns out I’m allergic.”
76-“Why do all of your socks have holes in them?”
77-“Please stop crying on my papers”
78-“Well, if that’s really what you want.”
79-“I’ve never felt like that before.”
80-“This changes everything!”
81-“Are you sure you triple checked?”
82-“Don’t tell me to calm down! You calm down!”
83-“I’m going to give you the best night of your life.”
84-“So I bet you’re all wondering how I’m still alive.”
85-“Not them.  Anyone but them. ”
86-“Why won’t you say I love you back?”
87-“That was the grossest thing ever.”
88-“I don’t think that qualifies as a sport.”
89-“If I do this,  will you leave me alone?”
90-“You’re an idiot. I like that about you.”
91-“No, you know what? Don’t answer that.”
92-“I know you said I don’t want to know,  but i really want to know.”
93-“I followed you into hell!”
94-“Oooh, this is great blackmail!”
95-“I won’t tell anyone you were crying.”
96-“No way,  that’s also my favorite!”
97-“Don’t you dare ruin this for them.”
98-“That’s just sick. I can’t believe you.”
99-“Ok fine. Maybe we are friends. 
100-"No matter what, I want you to know that I’m proud of you.”

no one else

the morning after a few too many drinks, you discover you called someone you haven’t spoken to in months, someone harry’s not too happy you contacted.

i always feel really uncomfy writing smut its just not my thing but i’m trying for you guys lmao

that said, warning: smut.


let me know what you think

There was a soft knock at my apartment door and my friend Julia kicked me in bed, “Get the door,” She muttered, “Pro'ly your boyfriend.”

I took my time getting out of bed and Harry knocked again. I swung the door open and barely looked at him before climbing back into bed.

"Hey,” Harry said, scanning the room full of scattered alcohol bottles all at various stages of emptiness, “Heard you had a rough night.”

“Don’t talk so loud.” I said and pulled the covers over my head. I felt the bed shift as he sat down and rubbed a hand down my back. I sighed and pulled the covers down so I could see him and he was smiling slightly at me, a bit of sympathy in his eyes. “Can you hold me for a bit?”

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Fanfiction - A Lifetime of Her (Part V)

Part V – “But we’re still sleeping like we’re lovers”


I stood there, transfixed by the overwhelming feeling of her in my arms, unbelievingly real against the paleness of my tired memories. I didn’t know what had happened to her – clearly something had happened – but was only glad I had found her, right in the moment when my arms seemed to be so needed to hold her.

“Will ye tell me?” I murmured against her hair – fragrant like a freshly squeezed lemon, like a garden after pouring rain -, my hands rubbing her back in soothing circles. “What happened?”

“I will.” She tilted her chin, allowing our eyes to meet – hers were dry but glassy, as if her body was wrecked with fever. “I want to tell you.”

“Good.” I attempted a calming smile, but felt the muscles of my face stiff from concern. “Do ye want to sit down?”

“We can’t talk here.” Claire told me, finally stepping back, away from the comfort of my body – I felt the loss of her warmth as acutely as I would miss a limb. Phantom pain, permanent and excruciating, constructed by the mind to deal with unbearable loss. “This is Geillis place – she is a close friend – and she’ll be arriving shortly from work. I thought she had forgotten her keys when you knocked.”

“Ye can come to my house.” I offered, almost biting my tongue in eagerness. The image of Claire in my home - the tips of her fingers brushing the book spines in the shelf, her lips drinking from one of my glasses - a kiss shared through the marks we’d both leave there – made my heart swell to the point of bursting. “I mean, we can have a conversation there without being disturbed or interrupted.” I babbled, struggling to explain myself over a bout of flushing cheeks.

“Alright.” She nodded in agreement – trusting me implicitly. Naturally. “Let me just feed Adso and grab my coat.” The feline meowed in agreement and rubbed against Claire’s legs, sleek and charming, as if he had been waiting to be acknowledged.

We made our way through the pleasant streets of Edinburgh, headed towards my house, located just a few blocks away. We traded some words, but were mostly immersed in our thoughts – preparing what we would say and do, when we finally could expose ourselves in a safe haven. As we walked, we didn’t touch – not even our arms bumped into each other, in that casual way of shared movement. We were both consciously avoiding to touch, keeping a safe distance, even if acutely aware of each other.

“It isna a big house.” I apologized in a jumbled way as we entered my apartment, collecting unmatched socks and forgotten papers along the way.

“I love it!” Claire smiled in a reassuring way, admiring the big flat screen and black speakers. Her butterscotch eyes covered my pictures and books, the quilt thrown over the back of the sofa, the magazines and pamphlets I had sorted inside a little basket next to the bookcase. “I can tell you live here – it’s warm and alive. It’s a real home.”

I grinned in content – almost purring in satisfaction -, as she took off her coat. She wandered around, touching objects with a respectful hand and clicking her tongue in appreciation of my book collection. Eventually she talked again, her back turned to me.

“Where is your bedroom?” She asked in a rough voice, unhinged – and then, predicting my puzzlement, she added in a low and hesitant tone, as if talking to herself. “I haven’t been sleeping much – I didn’t want to close my eyes and let my mind roam freely. I can barely stand on my feet, to be honest. Besides,” Claire turned and glanced at me, fumbling again with her sleeves. “I think it would be easier to talk if we touched.”

“Aye.” I breathed deeply, walking towards my room. “Whatever ye need.”

I watched as she laid down on my bed, above the plaid that meant home to me – taking off her boots and socks in the process. Her movements were slow and calculated, as if she wished to cause minimal impact with her presence, so that I would carry on with my life after her departure. Claire rolled to her side, curled like an unborn child, safe and peaceful in the womb.

I came around the bed and managed to lay down – silent and precise as a thief in the night -, leaving an empty space between us, as I faced her. She seemed tired beyond her years and utterly broken.

Without a word she slid her hand to the middle of the bed, where I could reach out and touch it – I did so, softly playing with her fingers until she relaxed and our hands were entwined.

“Why are ye here?” I asked, my voice husky. Her face was a duality of shadows and bursts of light, coming from the window to dance on her features. “In Scotland?”

“I had to come.” Claire adjusted her face on the pillow, caressing the nail of my thumb with her fingers, her golden wedding ring cold like a fetch between us. “I couldn’t be in Boston right now – I needed time to think. This is the one place that has been home to me.”

“Are ye still married?” I risked, watching in anguish as she winced in pain. She sighed – but the movements of my hand in hers seemed to calm her enough to go on.

“Separated.” She licked her quivering bottom lip, avoiding my eyes. “It turns out Frank wasn’t the man I thought he was.  He wanted to own me.” Claire pursed her lips in anger. “And when he couldn’t own me, I wasn’t enough. Everyday became a war between us. A long and tiresome war.”

I gulped, taking in the shrapnel of her destruction. With a swift movement of my spare hand, I rolled up the sleeve of her sweater, revealing bruises the colour of mustard and moss, screaming against her marble white skin – marks of resentful fingers, forceful enough to break vessels and spirits. A lonely tear streamed down her cheek.

“He hurt ye!” I hissed furiously between clenched teeth, fighting the urge to maim the husband who had so recklessly broke the vow to protect her – to love her. She needed my restraint and I could offer it to her – not another display of bad temper by a man she had trusted. I hesitantly touched the bruises, wishing to erase them with kisses, to heal them with the adoration I would bestow upon her.

“I hurt him back.” Claire assured me, a look of shame crossing her face – as if I could pay witness to the degradations inflicted by both during their marriage. “He didn’t want me to leave. Frank said he still loves me.”

“Does he?” I asked with gentleness, battling the urge to ask her if she still loved him.

“I don’t know.” The tear track on her face glistened like a dry river, leaving thirst in its wake. “His love didn’t hurt like this, before.”

I wanted to ask her details on her failed marriage – her unhappiness was patent and unbearable – but restrained myself. She must have spent hours replaying the film of her derailed life, echoing words meant to harm – there was no cure to be found in saying them once more. I wished only to placate her pain – to take it all into myself, if I could. I longed to be the bringer of her smiles and not of her tears.

“I called ye.” I suddenly revealed, half embarrassed. “I waited too long – ye were gone by then. Maybe if I did…things would have been different.”

“Perhaps.” Claire agreed, haltingly. “But you were right – I shouldn’t have settled for less.”

I risked to brush her hair – silky and curly, so elementally Claire that took my breath away – and she closed her eyes in enjoyment of the intimate touch.

“What will ye do?” I asked, so afraid of the answer I could die. I wished for nothing more than to have her in my bed, lying so close to me as I memorized her, for the rest of my days. And yet I knew I had no guarantee of intimacy, of another conversation, of another touch – I savoured them all as a gift, for they were precious and not promised.

“I have to go back to Boston.” Claire explained, gripping my hand with strength. “I have a life there – a nursing job, medical school, friends and - .” She stopped, her eyes wide open.

Frank.” I swallowed hard, fighting against myself to offer her an encouraging smile. “Ye are still married to him.”

“Yes.” She closed her eyes, almost sobbing. I brought her hand closer to my mouth and kissed her knuckles.

“I won’t tell ye what to do – that is for ye to decide, mo nighean donn. But I need ye to know something, Claire.” I touched her chin with tenderness, urging her to open her eyes. “Ye alone hold all my heart – even before I knew yer name, ye meant light to me. I’ll wait for ye my whole live – and gladly so, even if it means that I’ll watch ye from afar, happy and fulfilled with another man, worthy of ye.”

“Jamie, I – “ Claire started, but I kissed her hand again and brought her against my chest, where my heart kept pounding, speaking enough to silence her.

“I’d rather ye dinna make promises ye may not wish to keep afterwards, when yer heart is less sore. When – if - ye mean them, I’ll be here.” I pleaded, staring into her eyes – she held my gaze for a while and nodded back. “Rest now, mo nighean donn. Let me watch over ye as ye sleep. Let me see ye safe.”

“I’m always safe with you.” She whispered.

I cherished her and held her hand until she fell asleep – finding new reasons to love her while she dreamt. She felt safe and protected with me – and, for that moment, it was enough.

Even when night came and we were left in complete darkness, I listened to her breathing, absorbing the symphony of the lover I craved. Once in a while I closed my eyes, making sure I could remember her perfectly – opening them again to correct a small detail, to drink another drop of her, afraid I would forget. Tormented I wouldn’t.

In the wee hours of night, I fought against sleep. I felt raw and tender, heart and body aching, calling me irresistibly to slumber.

I must have surrendered at some point. I had the vague recollection of a chaste kiss against my lips – timid, yet burning.

In the morning, she was gone.

I Don’t Love You Anymore (pt. 2)

You can find part 1 right here –> I Don’t Love You Anymore Pt. 1


I’m writing this note because I don’t have the balls to say this to your face. The reason I’ve been acting like a douche these past few weeks is because, well, at first, I thought it was just stress but, for awhile now, I haven’t felt anything with you. Each kiss, touch, laugh and word we shared has felt dead to me. I’m sorry y/n, I really am but I just don’t love you anymore. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me.


I read the painful words over and over again, each time praying that this is a sick and twisted drawn out April Fools joke he’s playing on me; maybe Mikey put him up to it. But as the minutes pass, I come to the bitter reality that he meant what he said, he doesn’t love me anymore. Is it really a surprise? I mean, all the signs were there. He stopped our morning and nighty-night cuddles, claimed he was sore from working out so much. No longer gave me his warm and soft pecks before he or I left work, it was always, “I really gotta go” or “Go, y/n your gonna be late.” He completely stopped all intimacy between us, and not just physically but mentally, he didn’t talk anymore, nor did he want to listen. So no, it’s not a surprise but it still hurts like hell. I get out the bed and walk over into the closest grabbing another shirt of his and placing it on his side of the bed as I snuggle up next to it and cry myself to sleep.


Six Weeks Later

I’m in the grocery store humming along to Tim McGraw’s “Shotgun Rider,” while debating if I want salmon or tilapia for dinner when a familiar and comforting voice behind me says, “You’ve always had a beautiful voice, it’s a shame that you never considered putting it to work.” I turn around and none other than Ashton Irwin is standing there giving me his award winning smile walking towards me. “Oh please,” I say dismissing the thought. “I’m serious, y/n, we could’ve used you in our band,” he admits as he gets closer. “Then you’d actually be five seconds of summer,” I joke as he laughs and his smile warms up my day. Gosh, I forgot how perfect he was. He looks good, his hair is cut nice, muscles seeping through his shirt.  “A picture lasts longer babe,” he smirks while finally coming face to face with me. I chuckle softly at his cockiness, “How have you been, Irwin?” I ask sincerely wanting to know how my best friend’s been the past few weeks with the stress of making an album. “Seems like I should be asking you that same question,” he says back and a seriousness falls upon us as I realize what he means. I clear my throat as a shift to the other foot, a little uncomfortable, “I-I’m good. I’ve been fine.” “Really?” he asks not buying it as he senses my whole attitude change. “Yeah I’ve been just focusing on school and wo–

I’m cut off by a sudden warmth that wraps around me and I realize that warmness is coming from Ash. Me and Ashton have always had a great relationship, sometimes I felt he understood me better than Calum, maybe it’s because he’s older. I could always have deep and intellectual conversations with him, something I could never do with Calum. We always understood each other; there were countless long nights of personal thoughts, feelings and blissful moments being shared over Chinese takeout or bowls of ice cream, especially the last weeks before Calum broke up with me.

One Week Before Breakup

“Ash, if I ask you a question, will you be completely honest with me?” I ask as I take a bite of my sesame chicken. “Of course, y/n, you know that. What’s up?” he asks and takes a long swig of his beer. I poke at my chicken, still wondering if I’m a bad girlfriend for even considering this thought, I mean I should trust my boyfriend right? I eat another piece of chicken as I take the beer out his hands and finish it making that my 4th one that night. “Okay, y/n, you only drink this much when we’re celebrating, which we’re not or if somethings really bothering you,” he says pausing the TV. I continue poking at my chicken and Ashton pulls the food off my lap and sets it on the bed side table as he makes me face him. “Y/n, talk to me, love,” he says softly as he lifts my chin forcing me to look in his eyes. “Do you–Is Calum seeing someone else?” I blurt out as tears begin to fill my eyes. The thought of Calum cheating didn’t seem real until I actually said it. “What?!” Ashton gasps, “Why would you think that?”

“Well, we’re growing really distant, ya know? He doesn’t  want to cuddle anymore, doesn’t want kiss or touch me, it takes so much for me just to get him to tell me how his day went, which is only a grumbled out, “fine.” And all that has got me thinking that maybe, there’s someone else,” I admit to him. I can see Ashton getting upset at hearing the way his best friend has been treating me. “I’ll talk him,” is all he says before he reaches his phone. “No! Ash, please don’t. Its only gonna create more problems between us, just stay out if it,” I desperately say as I snatch his phone out his hand. “Well, I’m not gonna let him treat you like shit and let him think its okay,” he snaps back at me reaching for his phone. “Ashton, you can’t talk to him about this!” I scream as I hop off his bed, “Why not Y/N?! What’s the big deal?” he asks. “Tell me Ashton, how would you feel if your girlfriend went talking to Luke, for instance, about problems she’s having with you?” I ask him. “I’d be pissed,” he says immediately. “Exactly,” I say back, “He can’t know I’ve been telling you these things. Especially now, he’s so irritable. Our relationship is at a fragile point and any sort of pressure will crash it,” I admit as I flop back on his bed. His face softens as he whispers, “Sorry, love I know–”

“Is it me?” I interrupt,  “Am I not pretty enough? Is it because I’m always talking about school and the future? Does that scare him? Am I too boring because I’d prefer to stay in than go out and party? Does he not want me?” I ask as the tears fill my eyes again and they freely fall down my face. “Hey, y/n listen to me,” Ashton says softly, “You are a beautiful woman. You are so intelligent, funny and talented. I mean what normal person, double majors in sociology and philosophy while minoring in Spanish and working two jobs, you’re frickin’ superwoman,” he exclaims making me laugh. “And oh my goodness, that gorgeous smile. Y/n you literally walk in a room and it lights up, you make everything brighter. And you know what else?” he asks wiping away the tears from my face. “You have the most beautiful soul. You have a such a great heart y/n, you’re so selfless, my goodness, I love you.” My eyes widen as I feel that he didn’t mean love as in best friends but love as in lovers. We stay like that for a while just staring into each other’s eyes and as each moment passes I realize which love he meant and I realize that maybe I too feel that way. Not once had Calum ever expressed his love for me in the words my best friend just had. “Ash, I-” “Shhh,” he says softly as he brings his hands to the sides of my face. “Ashton, we can’t,” I say bringing my hands to wrap around his “I know. But I can’t stop wondering how different it would all be if I’d seen you first,” he says. “Me too,” I admit. The moment is interrupted when the sound of footsteps snaps us from each other’s trance. We immediately sit on our respective sides of the bed and return to eating our food while watching FRIENDS as Mikey bursts in the room yelling, “I’m bored!”


We never got a chance to talk about that night seeing as I blamed our confessions of love on too much beer. We always get super mushy with another after a few beers, a reason why Calum never wanted me to drink alone with Ash. Then the next week Calum broke up with me via, sloppy written note and I’ve ignored and avoided all connections to him, including Ashton. However, my best friend who still loves me, is holding me and I finally relax in to him and for the first time in a while, I feel comfort, cared for, loved even, simply through his touch. He tightens his grip on me as I wrap my arms around his torso drinking in his scent and embracing the memories that I shared with him. Ashton has always been the only who could completely comfort me, its almost as if he peers into my soul, finds out what’s hurting and says the right things to heal me. I don’t know how long its been as we stand there enjoying one another presence, I mean I haven’t talked to him in six weeks, despite his constant tries. I sigh as a warming tingly feeling comes over me and I begin to grip on him tighter, almost craving him, which freaks me out as I realize that my best friend, who is also my ex-boyfriend’s best friend is making me feel weird things as I pull away. “I umm, I should go,” I say as I get ready to push my cart. “Y/n, wait,” he says as he softly grabs my arm, “Can we go grab a coffee?” he asks desperately with pleading eyes. “I don’t know about that Ash,” I say despite my mind saying yes. “Y/n, come on, it’s been six weeks. I miss my best friend,” he says. “You still have Mikey, Luke and uhm, Calum” I say looking down. “Yeah, but there’s someone special still missing,” he says as he lifts my chin up to look at him. “Ashton! What’s taking you so…bloody…long…” a voice that I never thought, nor wanted to hear again says. I watch with big eyes as the guy who tore my heart apart comes in to view. “H-hi y/n,” he says.

A/N: Hey beautifuls! I know I promised it would be posted Friday but it’s 11:39pm on the west coast :p and I live in the midwest so, I use both time zones interchangeably  /.\ Anyways, this is part 2, what do yall think? Its okay to message/ask me I promise I don’t bite…hard (was that too corny/played out?) Forreal tho, talk to me! 😊

I Don’t Love You Anymore Pt. 3

XOXO // Alex Standall

A/N: not confident in how this turned out but here we are. 

@ anon, I tweaked your prompt a little bit, just because I’m not going to write a suicide attempt. 

Named after: The I C O N I C show, Gossip Girl 

Warning: Nonconsensual groping. Implied slut shaming. 

You had gone out on a date with Nate Scott, a new guy on the baseball team, on Saturday night. He was a transfer, and he seemed nice enough, at least you had what the survey deemed chemistry. The whole dollar valentines thing…Jeff and Clay made you fill it out. You knew they wanted the best for you. Your relationship status, like Clays, was ‘below average’. But now, as Sherri is telling you why everyone is, whispering, around you, you wish you’d never even seen the pink colored paper. 

According to Sherri, Nate had told a few of his buddies, which apparently is the whole school, that you had slept together on the first date. That you were easy. Which WAS NOT true at all. You guys had made out in his car but nothing like how he was describing it to be. You thanked Sherri for letting you know and set off to go find Nate, wanting him to somehow, fix it. 

As you walked through the halls, you’d be lying if you were to say it didn’t bother you. The looks, the whispers, the laughs. It ate at you slowly and then all at once. Your pace quickened, the sound of your shoes hitting the floor, a steady but determined beat, was the only thing that kept you going. 

You found Nate at his locker, which just happened to be right across from Alex Standall’s. The latter boy, putting away his books for his next period. 

When you reached Nate’s locker, he turned to you, an apologetic expression clouding his face. 

“You asshole!” You started.

“I know- I know-” he begins, trying to put a cap on whatever you’re going to say. 

“No! You don’t know! Cause people aren’t calling you a slut! I don’t even understand why you would even-”

Your voice trails off as you exhale. You can feel the lump in your throat grow bigger and you know if you start up again tears would roll down your face. Which would be even more embarrassing than begging the boy who caused all this bullshit, to close Pandora’s box. 

“I didn’t mean to…” he answers, sighing as he shuts his locker. 

You’re grateful for this moment if anything to get your emotions under control. 

“I- We- some of us were at Bryce’s and well I was telling them that we…ya know…went out.“ 

You nodded, as you waited for him to continue. 

“And he- he- asked what we did… and I wasn’t going to say anything I swear. But he started just- just- making up things and I…" 

"You just went along with it?” You asked, finishing his sentence. 

He drops his head, nodding in shame. “You don’t understand what it’s like." 

"You’re joking right?” You answer sarcastically. 

“Listen, I just got here. I just wanted to fit in…I didn’t know all this” his hands gestures to nothing in particular, but you know what he means, “would happen…I’m sorry." 

You can tell he’s being genuine in his apology but that doesn’t take away from the anxiety in your chest. Doesn’t take away all the shit that you’ve had to deal with since this morning, let alone the rest of the year. Doesn’t fix anything.

"Well, it did. And now? I’m the school slut so I hope you impressed them." 

"I’m sorry…really…I still would like to-” He’s stammering over the next few words he says, and they’re just as stupid out loud as they were in his head but he’s trying anyway because he likes you. A lot. He had a great time on your date. 

“Fuck off Nate. You’ve done enough.” You say, cutting off what sounded like another date. 

You turn on your heel, knowing what you said was a little too harsh, leaving him to deal with how the both of you felt. 

After surviving the next few periods you sat down across from Clay who was at the table by himself. 

“Hey!” You smile, pulling out your lunch. 

“Hey…” he answers quietly. 

The way he’s barely making eye contact with you and pushing his homemade mac and cheese around is concerning.

“You okay?” You ask. 

He stops his fidgeting and looks up at you as though to answer your question with another. Just as his mouth opens to answer you, he’s interrupted by Liberty High’s favorite baseball player. You were pretty good friends, the three of you. Jeff joined your two person crew once Clay had started tutoring him and every now and then he’d eat lunch with you guys instead of the baseball team. 


You both turn to look at the baseball player making his way over to your table. 

“I’m a genius. B minus. You’re going to my game on Friday.” He articulates, slamming his test down in front of Clay. 

“Shit.” The smaller boy mumbles. 

Jeff laughs taking a seat next to him. The two boys engage in conversation for a bit. Jeff is trying to talk Clay into the party after his game and the smaller boy is having none of it.

“Y/N will come with you!” Jeff throws in.

“Negative to that one Atkins.” he chuckles a bit, knowing that would be your response. "But congrats” You offer, still a little uncomfortable with your earlier talk.  

“Thanks! …Hey, I’m sorry about…you know…your business getting out in the open. If you want to sleep with someone on the first date you should. No shame.” He replies, pulling out his lunch. 

He says it so casually. As if you hadn’t heard it 50 different ways all day.


"I didn’t know you did…that” Clay remarks softly, avoiding your eyes. 

“I didn’t- I don’t!” You yell. 

You drop your head in your hands as though it would somehow make everything and everyone just. Stop. Sighing you look back up at the two boys sitting across from you. 

“Jeff, would you please tell him, Nate, is a liar, and a complete asshole” You plead, half annoyed. 

Jeff sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before he looks back at you. 

“Cmon…that’s my teammate." 

And Jeff emphasizes the word teammate as though it would rank him higher in the friend category. As if you weren’t the person to make and give him notecards and an hour of your time in addition to Clay’s to study for the test he was just boasting about. As if you didn’t help him convince Clay to ask Hannah out. As if you had just met him.

And Clay? Clay is sitting there eating up everything that comes within earshot as some sort of gospel truth. He, of all people, should know how it feels. The whole school thought he was gay freshman year for fuck sake.

Bryce is also your teammate” you assert. 

“Yeah, but I don’t like Bryce. Nate’s a good guy.“ 

"It's…not, that big of a deal if you did” Clay quips. 

“But. I. Didn’t,” you say through gritted teeth. 

The tears at the brim of your eyes escape and you’re wiping them away as fast as you can, standing up and grabbing your backpack in the process. 

“Y/N…” they both call out at the same time. 

“Just. Leave me alone.” You mutter before leaving. 

For the rest of the week, you spend half of your time meticulously avoiding Jeff and Clay and the other half practically running from Nate’s apologies. You try to keep your head down and ignore the not so appropriate comments from most of the boys in school, as well as the hurtful remarks from the girls. 

It was on Thursday, in the crowded hallway where you were packing up your stuff, that really tipped you over the edge. 

Cause the hand that grabbed your ass was not one that you knew nor wanted there. You spun around, glaring at the back of several letterman jackets, laughing about what was just done.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It’s all too much. You slam your locker shut making your way out of the stupid building that had ruined your life. And you hear someone calling out after you. 

“Hey! Slow down!”

You glance behind you, exhaling at the sight of bleach blonde hair.

Alex jogs up to you, and the two of you walk in silence as he catches his breath.

 "I’m sorry for what happened back there. They’re all dicks.“ He confides to you. 

The silence that hangs between you two serves as your response and Alex tries again.

"Legend has it they were all subjects to one of those freak science experiments." 

He leans into you as if it were some secret.

"Government had them switch their brains with monkeys." 

He catches the smile playing on your lips and continues. 

"Now all they do is act on primal instinct and get overexcited at bright colors…at least that’s my theory." 

You laugh and Alex laughs with you, happy to have lightened the mood. 

"Hey, do you wanna…go to Monet’s with me?” He asks. 

The look on your face tells him everything. 

“Sorry, I’m an idiot. Should’ve clarified, not because of the whole rumor thing. I’m working through all the drinks on the menu, and I just wanted some company. I’d look weird sitting by myself." 

You bite your lip, looking at the boy who is now pouting at you as you think about your answer. 

"Plus I think you could use a hot chocolate.” He adds. 

When you’ve made up your mind you’re cut off by two very familiar voices. 



You turn and see Clay and Jeff waving you over to talk. Just when you were doing so well at avoiding them. 

You turn back to Alex with a confident, "Yes please, let’s just get the hell out of here." 

He smiles brightly back at you pointing out where his car is. 

And as you drive out of the school parking lot, you catch your two former friends through the window. They look disappointed, to say the least. 

You feel your phone buzz and you look down at the message in your group chat. 

Jeff: Nate told me what happened. 

Clay: We’re sorry. 

You locked the screen without response. Turning back to Alex, as you turn the radio on, and he pulls onto the main road. He glanced over at you and smiles at how you’ve visibly relaxed. 

"Not gonna lie…I’ve also just been meaning to ask you out for like two months now." 

You smile back over at him and nod. 

"I’m glad you did…”

Project Partners - Taeyong

I know this isn’t superrrr great but I tried hard. I hope you like it, have a great day - Em x

Originally posted by nctinfo

Requests: Can you do a scenario teacher put you in a group with Taeyong who you have never talked before. You think he is a typical badboy but after being partners you see him in a new light? Thank you :)

 Genre: Fluff

 Word Count: 1836

“Everyone stand at the back instead of taking a seat. Today I’m setting a project and after last time there is no way you get to pick your own partners.” Your teacher said. Everyone groaned but you knew it was true. Half of last terms projects were laughable. You were still a bit disgruntled though, one of your best friends was in this class and you could have had so much fun together. You just hoped you got partnered with someone vaguely decent.

Your teacher began to list names of your classmates. She had managed to partner everyone with someone they barely knew.

“y/b/f and Yuta,” The teacher said handing them a project pack. “y/n and Taeyong,” she called out next. If you had been cheekier you would have protested at this. Taeyong was just some badboy in your year who chased after a different girl each week and didn’t bother with anything. That’s what everyone said.

Your friend shot you a sympathetic look before turning around and grinning at Yuta. She had had a crush on him for ages, he was nice and cute so she was lucky to have him for a partner.

You sat down at a desk next to Taeyong and gave him a quick, fake smile. The teacher walked up to the board and wrote the deadline, a week from now, in big letters.

“We have done many projects in the past but I thought we would do something a bit more interesting for you this time,” she announced. “In your pair, each of you will have to present about the other person and something you have learned from each other this week. This is another reason you can’t go with your friends. You may have the rest of the lesson to discuss with your partner.”

Your teacher pulled out her laptop and put headphones in. Your social science class wasn’t always the most educational fo your classes.

You turned to Taeyong.

“Um… hey so I’m y/n,” You said to him smiling as best you could. Taeyong raised his eyebrows and grinned.

“You’re a pretty girl,” He said to you with a wink. “I’m lucky in that regard,” You internally groaned. Was it humanly possible to work with him? This was one of the many questions you had. But you ignored him.

“What days are you free?” You asked him politely. But he didn’t reply he had gotten out his phone and was texting someone. You didn’t mind faking happiness but he could at least pay attention.

“Hey, Taeyong!” You said tapping him on the shoulder. He looked up at you, seemingly amused that you were still trying to work.

“I asked you what days you were free to work, that is if you’re not too busy beating people up or chasing after poor girls or whatever you do in your free time. I don’t really feel like doing the whole project myself but I mean with you has a partner what should have I expected.”

He looked surprised by your small outburst, it wasn’t immediately obvious but you could have sworn a flash of hurt ran across his face before his smirk regained its usual place. He was about to speak but the bell rang.

“Look you can do whatever, but if you want to help meet me in the library tomorrow after school,” you told him getting up. “But don’t worry, I’m not expecting you to show.”

The next day after the last bell rang you walked down to the library with your best friend.

“Yuta is so kind and he is really good at this project, I’m having so much fun,” she gushed her cheeks blushing red when she saw Yuta waiting for her in the library. Your eyes scanned the room but there was absolutely no sign of Taeyong. 

If he was gonna show there was no way he would be early. But then you felt a tap on your own shoulder. You looked around to see Taeyong grinning at you as he sat down.

“I’m here to work y/n,” he said saluting you. He was funny, you would give him that.

“Great,” you replied, smiling earnestly this time. “So then tell me about yourself, Taeyong Lee,”

“There isn’t much to say really, I’m seventeen and I like to have a good time,” He grinned, you did the opposite and frowned.

“Taeyong seriously?” you questioned. “My part of the report can’t be ‘yeah this is Taeyong and he likes to party,’ we would get an F, you idiot,”

Taeyong shrugged.

“Not everyone is what you want them to be. I’m an out of control badboy who gets into fights, drinks, smokes and chases after helpless girls. That’s what people say right.” He told you looking down at his desk.

You looked at him sceptically. You had a feeling that this wasn’t a whole truth. Just by showing up he had shown he was different to what people said. But that didn’t really say much. It wasn’t proof of character enough.

“Fine,” you said relenting. “I will tell you first. I’m y/n and one day I hope to achieve something that shows I can be great. I want to do well and make and impression on people,”

He interrupted you, “Babe you made an impression on me with just one glance,” You cracked a small smile.

“How do you get girls with such terrible lines, gosh Taeyong, is your secret you’re a wizard?” You asked him.

“Oh, yes y/n you see I’m the Asian harry potter,” he flicked his pencil forward at you as if casting a spell. “Makeus this girlus fallus in loveus with meus!” he shouted. The whole library turned around at his sudden cry. The librarian cast you both a look that would kill.

It was all so funny, Taeyong being so childish and the shocked looks of others you couldn’t help but laugh loudly.

“Already you’re proving everyone wrong about the badboy. You are such an idiot Taeyong. Wait…,” you stopped. “Is the humour how you reel the girls in?” you asked curiously. Because if it was it was working.

“Nope. That would ruin my image. The humour is just for you baby girl,” He wiggled his eyebrows. “The other girls can’t avoid being taken in by my beautiful face because my face is beautiful. But not as beautiful as yours.” Taeyong said with his classic smirk back.

“Why are you trying to reel me in then, if the other girls like you more easily?” You questioned.

Taeyong blushed slightly pink. You thought your eyes were playing tricks.

“Because those girls only want one thing from me, and me from them. But that’s not what I want from you. Well, not all I want anyway. I won’t tell a lie. You intrigue me y/n, which is why I think you should go on a date with me.” He said. He sounded confident but you could just about tell the nervousness in his voice.

“Tell you what Taeyong, if we get an A on the project we can go on a date, but that means you have to tell me about the actual Taeyong. You are more than a badboy I can see it,” You answered.

“Fair deal,” he agreed. “Well then… I’m Taeyong and I don’t enjoy getting into fights, I just can’t help it. I have a slightly short temper. I feel pressured to hold up a reputation I don’t even like and I don’t know why. I sleep with lots of girls because the one I always liked from afar can’t see through my façade and I never have the guts to talk to her which in turn makes me angrier and I beat up more people. I want to be a good person, I don’t even like drinking that much. In fact, my favourite thing to do is to sing.” He dropped his face into his hands.

“Ah I can’t do this y/n, I seem so dumb,”

“Nah that was the best thing that you have ever said,” you said happily.

“Can I hear you sing?” you asked later as you were walking home with him.

“Absolutely not. No way. Never gonna happen.” He said walking faster to get away from you.

You ran to catch up and grabbed his arm lightly, just enough to stop him.

“Please,” You asked grinning, “I will do anything if you sing. Just two lines that’s it. Please Taeyong?” you asked. Both of you had just spent two hours writing up one of the bets social science reports of all time.

“Anything?” he asked eyes widening. You nodded.

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Okayyyy fine.” He said and stopped walking. “This is so awkward, here goes nothing…

It’s too much, your red lips

Un Bel Viso, all of you

Makes me imagine an image of an angel

Only mine, you got to be mine

 His voice was so beautiful. He turned around shy.

“Omg Tae that was so great, if I could sing like you I would never stop singing!” you praised him.

He smiled brightly.

“Glad you liked it baby girl. But now you have to do that one thing for me.” He said. You nodded wondering what he would say.

“y/n,” he said seriously. “I want you to kiss me,” and he didn’t have to tell you twice. You took a step towards him. He eyes flickered briefly between your eyes and lips but almost as quickly they pressed together. Your lips caressing each other softly but passionately. It lit a fire inside you.

He pulled away after a few seconds and leant his forehead against yours.

“I really hoped I proved I was different. Because I realised it doesn’t matter if other don’t know who I am. But it does matter that you do.”

“Don’t worry, I think I have a clear idea. And I like this new Taeyong a lot.”

He was beyond sweet from that point on. That weekend you went on an ice cream date and fed ducks at the park. He was the opposite of your preconceptions.

So, the next week in class when it was your turn you felt confident. Taeyong started off with a nice little talk about how people were sweet and we needed to take chances to get to know them like he did with you.

“To conclude, before this I thought I knew who Taeyong was. But people aren’t always the way they present themselves or the way people say. Sometimes it’s just easier to act a certain way. Taeyong is one of the best people I have ever met and I only know that because he had to prove it to me. We should try and see beyond people’s outward attitudes.”

Taeyong gave you a hug and a warm smile.

“Lovely.” The teacher said calling up the next pair. In the end, she gave everyone an A but you knew it wasn’t a waste of time as you walked into lunch to sit next to your boyfriend Taeyong.

Rosemary: The Ship That Sank the Homestuck Fandom

As you may or may not know, I was recently accused of hating lesbians. Seeing as how I ship Johnrose pretty feverishly, I get this a lot. As in, every time I fucking post something on the tag. So I decided to pull up one of my old essays on the matter. I posted this some months ago on Omegaupdate under the name ‘Salty.’ Enjoy.

Long post incoming.

I think the main reason I dislike Rosemary is for what it did to the characters in terms of progression; or, in this case, the lack thereof. Homestuck post-A5 always suffered from a certain kind of stagnation, wherein neither the characters nor the author really knew what to do next. John, Jade, and Davesprite stagnated on the Prospit battleship; the Trolls, Rose, and Dave stagnated on the meteor. Both of these derived from a lack of initiative to use this time in any constructive manner, i.e, not deal with the literal garbage fire of issues that they all had looming over them. Sure, they talked about Lord English and Bec Noir… kinda. Sure, they had a few confrontations with each other… kinda, and all those confrontations had to do with romantic entanglements which I can guarantee most of the fandom didn’t particularly care for. They didn’t even really have an antagonist–Gamzee never fit that role well, and was hardly utilized in such a way that made him anything more than another forgotten character, like most of the other trolls.

Not only were these conflicts uninteresting, however, but they never went anywhere. Like the characters themselves, they stagnated, and any hope we had for them to be resolved was washed away in the actual shitstorm that was the Retcon. Everyone got a happy ending off-screen where nothing was solved; ‘show-don’t-tell’ is a good rule of thumb for a reason, even if Hussie was so fixated on ‘subverting’ typical tropes like an A+ pretentious asshat too big for his britches. Which, along with stagnation, is a good way to describe A6 and beyond: too big for its britches. It tried too do much and stretched our characters too thin. Instead of being about four kids playing a game and being assholes on the internet, it became a teenage soap opera designed to pander to it’s most vocal demographic. And that killed the comic.

Now, you may be asking 'but Salty, what does this have to do with why you dislike Rosemary so much? You’re just talking about the problems with the comic itself, not the relationship!’

Well, like almost everything in Homestuck, these all correlate pretty close together.

To simplify, we’ll start at the beginning: I think Rose Lalonde is the best character pre-A6. She had a level of depth and nuance to her personality that inevitably made her the most interesting character. We actually gave a shit about that happened to Rose. I mean, we gave a shit about all the kids at that time, but especially Rose. Her Grimdarkness? Coming to terms with the fact that her Mother wasn’t the monster she thought she was, and that she hadn’t had nearly enough time with her? Just watching the way she grew as a person? Act 5 and before, she’s honestly the reason I think the comic was so successful, or at the very least a large contributor. Her character helped tie the others together, especially Dave and John.

Then we get to Act 6, and Rosemary becomes canon.

All that development? Thrown out the window. Rose becomes a drunk, and it never gets resolved; Rose admits she was a terrible daughter, has tremendous guilt over the death of her mother, but who cares? Time to make her the comic relief! Her powers are never truly utilized again,nor her connection with the Horrorterrors: her personal growth is stagnated, her intellect and, quite frankly, most of her defining personality traits are cast haphazardly by the wayside. Her entire personality begins quite rapidly to revolve around two things: drinking and… Kanaya.

Kanaya, her badass, chainsaw wielding GF, who has her own character slowly “develop” into a full-on Mary Sue. Kanaya, the troll she had the most contact with, but they were never shown to have anything more than an established friendship between them. Hell, their trope was originally supposed to be one of moirailship.

Rosemary suffered, albeit in a far lesser sense, what Davekat suffers from: it came out of nowhere, and then never went anywhere after. Sure, they were friends, and sure, Kanaya admired her, but what about Vriska? What about John? What about her other friends, and the game she just lost her mind to? What about all this buildup to these other relationships that never went anywhere, and seemingly got dropped off the face of the paradox space? Are we to believe that Rose and Kanaya are really so callous as to forget the others even existed, going about their day-to-day in a sick mockery of 'second best?’ I wanted to see those story arcs come to something.

I wanted to see John and Rose bond over losing a parent. 

I wanted to see Kanaya finally help Vriska turn her life around, and Vriska help Kanaya become less meddlesome. 

These are problems that were never solved because of Rosemary.

Hussie wanted so desperately to appease his 'fans’ that he forgot about plot-lines; character arcs; relationships; story. He made Rose gay not because he wanted to make her gay, but because he backed into a corner and gave into the mouth-frothing rabidness of his following. He didn’t know what to do with her. This would be the first time Hussie changed his script, but would not be the last. This is the first step, as I see it, into the downfall of the comic; it’s maddening descent into stagnation and Hussie’s continued reluctance to finish the story the way he wanted, to the point where he handed the comic over to 'funny twitter man’ Cohen because he just couldn’t deal with it anymore. 

Honestly, I can hardly blame him.

Do I have a problem with Rose, or any other Homestuck character for that matter, being gay? Of course I don’t. In fact, I would have loved it! I crave positive homosexual representation in the media. But for the love of god, what I didn’t want was forced, stagnated homosexuality just for the sake of having it. As a bisexual myself, I honestly found it insulting – are we really that easily pandered to, that easily placated? Is our community so obsessed with this backwards idea of 'representation’ that we don’t even care for it to be portrayed in a decent manner? Are we so desperate and shallow that we’ll scramble towards the most lackluster, half-assed content and call it genius just because it has two people of the same gender kissing? Others might – fuck, I know others will and have – but frankly, I like to think I have higher standards than the bottom of the barrel. No artist, no writer should ever have to jeopardize the integrity of their story in order to appease the arbitrary wills of some vocal group of fans who, frankly, don’t know jack-all about romance. 

Their story is their own; people read them because of what they wrote, not because of what others wanted, which is a lesson that Hussie seemed to unlearn post-A5 – hell, maybe even post-Problem Sleuth.

I honestly attribute this to the massive decline in Homestuck readers overall. This kind of pandering, along with the stagnation that followed, and, of course, the frequent pauses, turned off at least 75% of the readers by the end of the comic, and that estimate is generous at best. A7 didn’t even reach one million views. 2011 through 2013, you couldn’t even go on the internet without seeing something Homestuck related pop up out of nowhere. /hsg/ got banned on 4chan, something that hadn’t happened since the rise of /mlp/. Tumblr was constantly pumping out new content that stretch as far and wide as Homestuck itself. The subreddit was at an all-time high. Homestuck and it’s huge fan projects dominated the internet like no other piece of media had done before.

And then people couldn’t deal with it anymore, so they left. The fanfic writers, the artists, the theorists… almost all gone, with only a handful of good content creators still around to fill an ever-growing hole.

And guess what?

It all started with Rosemary.

Just Business

Honestly, I’m so freaked the fuck out to be even talking about this. I’m scared he’s going to come back. But I can’t shut up about it. My dad might be able to accept this as what it is, but I refuse, given what’s going to happen to me no matter what I do.

I work at my dad’s diner on a busy stretch of road. However, since my grandfather’s death, and with him the loss of the secret recipe for his famous meatloaf, business has taken a nose dive. Funeral costs had my dad considering bankruptcy, much to my gran’s horror. She and granddad build this place up from the foundation. People would pass by and come in from everywhere, and everyone, no matter what you looked like or who you were holding hands with, was welcome.

It was Wednesday when the black cars pulled up to the diner.

Keep reading


I started with angst, dipped into fluff for a bit, then this slowly became my first ever attempt at dirty talk. 

I need a drink. 

Tagging the senpais: @roses-and-oceans @cupnoodle-queen @gladiolus-mamacitia @itshaejinju 


Word Count: 2,597

Originally posted by littletaro

“How long are you going to keep this up?” You ask, but Ignis just turns his back to you again with his hands pressed against the shower wall and letting the hot water run down his back. Trying to jump in the shower with your boyfriend had backfired, with him brushing you off and you feel a little silly because you realized that bribing him with sex wasn’t a real way to solve the problem. 

There was no harm in trying, but when he just said ‘I was just about to get out’ in his typical, monotone voice, you can’t help but feel pissed off. If you thought Ignis sleeping on the couch or him not coming home until after you were asleep made you feel low, his emotionless voice always made you feel horrid. You preferred hearing him scream and yell at you, but when he was only speaking to you in a monotone voice…

It was almost like he didn’t care about you at all. 

“It’s been almost a week, Ignis. What, am I not allowed to have any guy friends? Am I not allowed to have a drink with a coworker after work if he happens to be of the opposite sex? If Nyx was a girl, you wouldn’t be having any problems with this, and you know it," 

Still no response. You’re full on crying now at this point, because you’re done with this. This stupid fucking stalemate all because he caught you being a little tipsy with Nyx after work. 

"Do you want to break up with me?” The words burn as they leave your mouth-this isn’t what you wanted. You had hoped Ignis would come to his senses and realize he was being a jealous prick, but if this was how he was going to act, you figured maybe it was better to end things now before you got hurt any more. 

Keep reading

Change - Part 1 (Caspian x Reader)

Part 2

Word Count: 1215

Warning: None.

Request: Yes.

Summary: Y/N is lost girl in the search of her past who came across Caspian in the middle of forest. Soon she developed feeling for this gentleman but not everyone gets what they want. And Y/N didn’t get the love she wanted. Time has passed and they were in a search of the Lone Islands and soon enough two Pevensies visited them.

The Story:

“Alright, if that’s all, I’m gonna got get some air.” Y/N said as she left the discussion from Caspian’s cabin.

She walked to the deck of the ship. The sea always managed to calm her down. During times of war and stress, she always found a way to go the sea shore and sit in the quiet and peaceful weather.

She sighed and closed her eyes.

Everything is gonna be fine.

She opened her eyes and untied her hair, allowing it to blow in the wind.

“Still didn’t notice me m'lady?”

Y/N looked beside her, and Caspian was stood beside her, leaning over the railing.

“M'lady? Not that honorable. I’m just a lost girl.” She said.

“Every lady deserves respect. And you…you remained my friend since the first time I met Peter.”

Friend. Only friend. “Yeaahhh…I remember that. I wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.” Y/N sighed.

“I suppose it’s destiny.”

“You believe in that? I still don’t know what I was destined to be.”

“Ofcourse I do. You’re still looking for answers..aren’t you?”

“I never stopped Caspian. You wouldn’t really feel nice to wake up oneday in the middle of the woods with two men fighting with their swords. I don’t remember anything at all. What if I don’t belong here?”

Caspian looked at her, glancing down at her hand on the railing. He slowly put his hand on hers, and said “You will know. You just have to wait for the perfect time.”

She looked at him, smiling. The smile she always kept on her face, inspite of all the problems. “Have been waiting for years now.”

“Don’t lose hope.”

“I’m not. That’s what keeps me going. That’s what keeps me smiling. That’s why I’m still around you.”

Caspian smiled, “And you’re what keeps me motivated. Your will to find answers, how you never give up. I thought…I thought after she was gone, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate and keep my word as a-a King. It-It would be a shame for…someone like me you know.”

Susan. Y/N knew when he talked about her. How dreamy his eyes became, how passionately he talked about her. She wished it was her he was talking about. But, that cannot happen. How could a king like a girl like her? She herself found it amusing only by thinking about it.

Just then the water around the ship started getting a bit violent.

“What’s happening?” Caspian asked alarmed.

“I don’t know, the weather seemed calm and perfectly fine!”

“What-What is happening?!”

“There’s a possibility of that..” Y/N said holding the railings of the ship tight, “ I think….it’s time that the Pevensie’s are here. Aslan did tell us they will come back right?” Y/N said as she went back stumbling, to give orders for the necessary steps required for picking them up. Soon Edmund and Lucy were on board. All three shook hands and clapped one another on the back with great delight. They approached to Y/N, putting forward their hands for a handshake.

“Oh stop all these formalities.” She said as she hugged both of them.

But after a while, the peaceful encounters didn’t really last long. She noticed that along with them, there was also a certain annoying kid. If he wasn’t Edmund’s cousin, Eustace would’ve been killed by now. He was crying much harder than any boy of his age cried, and yelled out, “Let me go. Let me go back. I don’t like it.”

“Let you go?” said Caspian. “But where?”

Eustace rushed to the ship’s side, he was promptly sick.

Y/N sighed and said, “Someone please help this gentleman over here. He seems sick, physically and mentally.”

Edmund and Lucy chuckled at that while Caspian furrowed his eyebrows and said, “That’s not how you should welcome guests.”

“I know. Sorry, I’ll look after their hospitality. Hey! Rynelf,” said Y/N to one of the sailors. “Bring spiced wine for their Majesties. You’ll need something to warm yourselves after that dip.”

As he brought them all the food, they started talking to each other. They explained everything about the Lone Islands to the Pevensies and soon enough, the talk turned to their lives.

“So…Y/N, did you find anything about your..” Edmund said, finishing off his drink.

“Past? No. Not lucky enough.”

“Oh..” He said, “And Caspian, what about you? Did you find anyone…ACHOOO!”

Lucy sneezed next. Y/N was glad that the conversation got over quickly. She wouldn’t be able to bear him say all that over again.

“What a fool I am to keep you all standing here in your wet things,” said Caspian. “Come on below and get changed. I’ll give you up my cabin of course, Edmund, and Y/N, you may show your cabin to Lucy. Lead the way.”

Y/N led Lucy to her cabin, giving her a tour of the ship in the way.

“Well, things between you two doesn’t look too bad.” Lucy stated.

“I know what you’re trying to say but I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” Y/N said.

They walked in a pleasant cabin. It was big enough for the two of them. Not too clean, not too dirty either— few clothes kept on a chair, paintings hung to dry up, some pages hapazardly lying on the bed. Lucy looked around the place and sat down on the bed, turning the pages to look at it.

“You are still writing about all this?”

“Yes. Oneday it’s gonna be read by someone hopefully, ofcourse when I’m finished. When someone will come to seek for answers, this will help a little.”

“Then I expect you still have a diary.”

“Yes. It helps me during my stress.” Y/N said finally picking out an outfit for Lucy.

Lucy got up and took the outfit from her, “And has the contents changed from what I’ve seen before?”

Y/N just laughed and sighed. “Well, this is a boy’s outfit.” Lucy said looking at the clothes.

“Yes. I brought boyish clothes. I don’t think I can jump around wearing those dresses. Deal with it.” She said and left the cabin.

Y/N waited outside and after a while Lucy came out.

“This is comfortable.” She said, smiling.

“I know. It’s Caspian’s.”


“Uhhh…no not like that. I mean I stitched it up for myself back then. Apparently it’s not lady-like but you know what kind of a brat I am. I do what I want.” Y/N laughed walking up to the deck.

Lucy giggled, “If you say so.”

Caspian and Edmund were catching up with each other. They turned towards the girls and Edmund said, “What are you wearing Lucy?”

Caspian sighed and said, “Ofcourse. I should have know what you’re gonna give her.”

“She’s not complaining. She said it was comfortable.” Y/N defended herself.

“Yes it is.” Lucy said.

They sat talking with each other while Y/N gave orders of their lunch.

“You should find someone else Caspian.”

“I know, but I have eyes only for one lady. And it will not change.”

“Change is not always bad.”

Y/N heard their conversation and she decided not to get in. It was worse that Susan was their sister and there’s no point in hating her. But envying her? Perhaps.

“Isn’t it Y/N?” Lucy asked.

“What? I’m sorry I zoned out. You know what guys, I’m gonna take a break now. I have some work to do. Sorry for being rude and all. I know guests should be treated properly but you know what I mean. Sorry.”

“Are you gonna write again?” Lucy asked curiously.

Y/N smiled and said before leaving, “That’s one thing that I can say is mine alone.”

A/N - Part 2 is coming up! Will be late though. My father will lock the laptop and keep it with himself so its hard for me to update. Since it’s the last year of my school and the most crucial year of my life, he doesn’t let me spend much time here. And I do understand because this result will get me going for my career in the future, it’s really important for me. Although I’m shitting my pants just by seeing the syllabus. So yeah, that’s it. I will take a lot of time to update.


Whiskey Lullaby

Word Count: 1,912
Reader Gender: I don’t think I specified one
Warnings: Reader death, alcohol poisoning.
Love Interest: Dean (SPN)
Note: I’ve been writing this on the side for like a week now, and since I just finished it, I decided to post it c: This is based on the song by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss. I think I dragged out the last half a little too much, but I hope you guys like it! Also, I’m sorry my posts have been so slow. I’ll try to post more c:

It had been quite a while since Dean and I parted ways, both for our separate reasons. Well, in reality it was one collective reason, but I’m sure you’ll get a different story if you ask him. He cheated on me, more than once might I add. The last time he did it, I couldn’t take it anymore, my heart couldn’t take it anymore. So I left, and I didn’t bother with getting my things. They didn’t matter, nothing did anymore. I haven’t been the same since, and I’ve taken to alcohol more and more as the days go by. I love him more than I love myself, but it’s been years and I’m sure he’s changed his number by now.

Nowadays I drink it away with whiskey, and then I end up crying next to a picture of him when I get to my motel room. Dean and I were in the same business, and I was in it before I even met him. That was partly why our relationship had worked out so well in the beginning. Then I found him with another woman, and while he promised not to do it again, he would let me down. I wouldn’t have been driving over to his motel room if it wasn’t for my current case. Whatever I was chasing was after him, and it was powerful. This creature had a rep for killing people, and making it look like a suicide.

She put him out, like the burnin’ end of a midnight cigarette.
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life trying to forget.
We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time.
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind,
Until the night.

While I know that Dean probably already has a handle on this case, I still worry for him. I didn’t want him to die, and if I got to him before this thing did, everything will be alright. I’ve already injured it pretty badly, and in my book it should be dead already. The creature was black and smoky, but thankfully my weapon collection is pretty big, and I usually always have something to use. After reading about it, I found that it’s weakest point is where it’s the smokiest and the darkest. So, that’s where I struck it, and I don’t give it long to live. However, it could live long enough to have one more victim.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger,
And finally drank away her memory.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees.

That wasn’t happening on my damn watch, and I’d drag it back to Hell myself if I had to first. I pulled into the parking lot of the motel, parking my car in the first available spot I came across. I quickly got out of my car and jogged up to his door, my heart pounding from pure fear. Cas told me where they were, but I feared he wasn’t able to get there in time. I knocked on the door at first, hoping that he’d just answer or tell me to come in. After a moment of silence, I knocked again, and when he didn’t answer I entered the room myself. As soon as I opened the door, the smell of alcohol hit me like a brick.

“Dean?” I questioned, looking around for a moment.

We found him with his face down in the pillow,
With a note that said I’ll love her till I die.
And when we buried him beneath the willow,
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.

As soon as I saw his body, I screamed at the sight. He was laying lifeless on the bed, bottles of alcohol surrounding him. Normally, this wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary, but I knew him and he never drank alcohol with this proof in mass quantities. He wanted to be drunk, not dead, and there was a fine line. I quickly ran over to him, shaking his body in hopes that he would wake up. There was a little bit of foam coming from his mouth, making me cry even harder than I was. My heart wasn’t ready for this sight, and it never would be. I shook him harder, knowing that whatever I did wouldn’t work. He was gone, unless I could do something about it.

“He is dead, there is nothing you can do.” I heard a monotone voice say.

“Yes there is.” I shot back in a hard tone.

Guilt started flooding my mind as my hand gently caressed his face. The tears never stopped flowing freely from my eyes, and I doubt they ever would. Just like how my guilt would never stop pouring into my mind, haunting me. This is my fault, all of it is my fault. I should’ve warned him sooner, or killed the creature earlier. I should have done something sooner, and maybe he would still be alive right now. No, not maybe, he would still be alive right now. My forehead rested on his chest, tears staining his shirt. He can’t be dead, not now, not ever. He was too important, not just to the world, but he was too important to me.

I slowly pulled myself off of him, my own emotions slowing down my actions. I went back up to his face, my thumb gently gliding across his cheek. I took a shaky breath, the weight against my chest feeling heavier than ever. I heard Cas finally leave the room, and I knew exactly what I had to do. I looked over to the floor, seeing the creature in a slightly more humanoid form. My gaze shifted back over to the one who still held my heart; Dean. My lips bushed against his cheek, and I tightly shut my eyes. The tears still fell, and how tightly I shut my eyes didn’t matter. It seemed as if nothing did anymore.

The rumours flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.
For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.
She finally drank the pain away, a little at a time,
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind.
Until the night.

I took a deep breath as I tore myself away from him, looking down at him. I heard the creature chuckle lowly from the floor, taunting me. I took off the necklace he gave me when we were together, giving it a kiss before placing it in the palm of his hand. I wrote a note on the pad that was on the night stand, simply telling him that I loved him. My heart ached with each stroke of the pen, it felt as if my world was coming down on me. I took another breath as I set the pen back on the wooden stand, moving over to were the creature was laying. I bent down to its level, noticing black goo slowly leave its figure.

“You son of a bitch, you bring him back.” I demanded.

“And why would I do that?” The creature asked in an amused tone.

“Because I fucking said so.” I spoke dangerously.

“Sorry, sweetheart, that doesn’t work for me. Sweeten the deal.” The creature demanded.

“How about the satisfaction of watching me die the same way he did.” I offered.

“Hm, I like it, but you gotta give me just a little bit more.” It said, and I swore I could’ve seen a grin.

“What more could you possibly want?” I questioned, my voice breaking.

“Share your memories with me. All of them. It gets boring after a few hundred years, you know,” It spoke in a strained voice, “It’ll give me something to look back on when I get sent back to Hell.”

“Done.” I immediately said and he chuckled.

“I guess we have a deal, Sweetheart.” It said.

I felt something enter my head and pain spread through out my entire body. It was as if he was twisting my brain around, as if the thing was dissecting it. In a way, I suppose he was, how else was he able to do what he did? As the pain left my mind, a sudden and uncontrollable urge was now in it’s place. I had an urge to drink and drink until I couldn’t drink anymore. I had an urge to drink myself to death. I grabbed one of the untouched bottles that was nearby, downing it as fast as I could. I slowly felt a migraine enter my mind as I went for another bottle, downing that one as well before I could even react to the headache.

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger,
And finally drank away his memory.
Life is short but this time it was bigger,
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.
We found her with her face down in the pillow,
Clinging to his picture for dear life.
We laid her next to him beneath the willow,
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.

As I grabbed a third bottle, nausea travelled down to my stomach. It wasn’t enough to make me vomit up the contents of my stomach, and that was probably the creatures doing. My vision began to blur as the clear liquid burned my throat. It was an oddly comforting burn, like a promise of relief. Memories of Dean and I blurred through my mind, and I felt a tear escape from my eye. I wish I could tell him how sorry I was, I wish I could just talk to him one last time. The weight on my chest got a bit heavier, making it just that much harder to breathe properly. I felt myself grow weaker, as I grabbed a bottle that was only half-full.

I brought the bottle to my lips, only to fall back onto the bed. A little bit of the drink spilled onto the sheets around me, but I couldn’t’ve cared less about it. The clear liquid rushed into my mouth and down my throat, making me choke a little bit. When I finished the bottle, my arm went limp beside me. I heard someone stirring, and I smiled as I realized that it was Dean. He was alive, and he was going to be alright. I turned my head to look at the creature, only to see a puddle of black ooze in it’s place. A little bit of the weight left my chest as I realized that it was now dead. Nobody else was going to die because of that thing, I was going to be the last.

I didn’t know if he was awake or not, but I can die peacefully knowing that the creature kept his word. Exhaustion clouded my brain, my eyes feeling heavy. I slowly closed my eyes, feeling weaker with ever second that passed by. I was weak, but I was happy; something I haven’t felt in a long while. Darkness completely covered my vision, and I felt the life I had in my veins leave me. I didn’t see a light, or anything like that. Just darkness, but it was a comforting darkness.

A darkness that took the rest of the life I had left in me.

anonymous asked:

hiya! i notice you tag a lot of your posts with 'nora, sloane, etc.' i understand these are characters for a story you're doing. i'm curious: what's the story about?

ok ! well @turnandchasethewind (olivia) & i have been working on the sketches for this show for like. a Long time lmao it has as most projects do grown & changed & become something entirely its own & i think it’s really awesome & lovely & am rly rly jazzed for it to move forward one day

anyway the working title for it is called views, & it basically follows sloane & nora, best friends who live & work in toronto. they met when they were 18/19 at a catering gig (terrible) & theyre the kind of love that is this epic soft quiet fun powerful love between female friends. they’re young & they’re a little lost always, & the world hurts, but like. they’re Good. the current storyline begins when they’re in their early/mid-twenties & nora meets ridley, who becomes her girlfriend. ridley is rly rly lovely & beautiful & whip smart & v kind & sloane hates her which is altogether mostly funny but a little sad

sloane ideally would be played by maia mitchell just for a visual but like. a grungier cooler hot mess version of maia bc like. sloane is a trash kid she’s our absolute fav she has tons of stick n pokes & her hair is a mess or buzzed (or both) & she will wear vans until they r literally falling off. she shops mostly at black market & she got this bike off kijiji that’s like 800% terrifying. she was diagnosed with bipolar I when she was 18 & shes on meds but its obviously still smth she deals with every day. shes from vancouver & she dropped out of mcgill after An Episode but mostly bc she hated it & she moved to toronto a few months after that (which is p much immediately when she met nora). shes like our token white character shes funny everyone drags her constantly abt so many things but they Love sloane. she eats Shit food unless nora’s parents buy her groceries & she drinks a lot & sometimes she has lil spirals but she has a dog named carly rae who helps a lot. she also has a big brother named whit he’s trans & he lives in brooklyn & she Adores him. shes a tremendously talented musician but ofc being a musician is v difficult so she also works a bunch of weird jobs between music gigs. she lives in a funky apartment in kensington w like six rotating roommates. she plays sets at the beaver all the time. if sloane was gonna write a song it would be ‘young’ by vallis alps but if sloane had a themesong its a tie between i wanna get better by bleachers & control by halsey & buzzcut season by lorde & then a rly rly sad cover of i rly like you by carly rae

nora is laura harrier bc like Hot & also biracial so thats dope. shes a baker & she works at a rly cute lil bakery on queen west & she always looks so pretty & put together & she rides this beautiful linus bike everywhere w a fucking basket & everything she wears so much birds of north america & oak + fort & rly just anything from victoire & she has like 12 pairs of blundstones. shes from etobicoke & her parents are both immigrants so nora is first generation canadian shes v v invested in how that all interacts shes a smart cool kid. she’s bisexual she came out when she was 16 bc she Literally got drunk in a closet & she has a history of dating Truly shitty ppl so sloane is like v v Hesitant when she falls for ridley. she has some beautiful tattoos & some silly stick n pokes, mostly w sloane. she has a rly cool little sister named kennedy who goes to ryerson & nora went to george brown. shes rly passionate abt intersectional feminism & she volunteers w a few different organizations around the city that help lgbtq+ youth shes like. a Good person & also sloane ADORES her & nora is in a v real kinda love w sloane theyre the v best pals. also girl can Drink. once a month regardless of how cold it is she & sloane make rly good pot brownies & go to trinity bellwoods & eat them & they end up Laughing a lot. nora also fosters w save our scruff bc she & sloane adopted carly rae together but carly rae is like an emotional support animal for sloane so she spends most of her time at sloane’s apartment so bc of that nora likes to foster dogs its rly cute. she has a beautiful lil tiny studio off euclid & queen. if nora had a themesong its like some dope gay (bi) ass mix of company by tinashe & feelin myself by nicki but then she meets ridley so shes like all night by bey

pls know that nora & sloane sometimes get Rly drunk at the greenroom in the annex mostly bc they love smoking in the lil alleyway its like. their trash special place. & their songs r like. california by grimes & love gang by whethan ft charli xcx & ribs by lorde 

ok in our heads ridley is played by aj but mostly bc its hot & we love her lol, ideally ridley is quebecois metis. she has a degree in physics but her parents just both died so shes kinda taking a break from everything & rn shes a florist in the shop next to noras bakery on queen west. shes from montreal but she went to school in the states & she has a longtime ex named ash. theyre non binary & ridley & ash are still rly good friends which sloane is like Suspicious abt but nora is like sloane jfc. ridley is rly smart she wears a Lot of stay home club & j brands & she & nora have a lot of shoes n boots that look almost identical. shes queer & shes kinda just been queer forever? her parents were scientists so it was always a v inclusive educated lil home she grew up in. she was named after ridley scott & everyone always jokes that she was conceived during alien lol & honestly she probably was. shes rly funny & she has beautiful tattoos & pretty pretty eyes & nora falls for her rly fast. she has a lil quebecois accent & sometimes she forgets words in english when shes drunk or tired. she & nora first kiss outside of the beaver in the snow theyre in the alley behind the gladstone w rly beautiful street art they were smoking cigarettes & its just. soft. so queer. ridleys lil songs r hold by vera blue & 21 moon water by bon iver & Mostly corbeau by coeur de pirate

sloane has a plot twist & falls in love w jack who is half-japanese & hes rly good friends w ridley which is the plot twist part a little but the BIG plot twist part is that she falls in love at all bc she is Convinced no one can handle her & she isnt stable enough for romantic love etc etc. but jack is so good hes so smart & hes a music therapist for kids on the spectrum its like Absurd how good a person he is. hes trans & hes abt to have top surgery like a few months after he meets sloane & she goes for a while & is like blah blah im not in love w him whatever its just sex but then shes So worried abt him being ok during & after surgery & she cares abt him so much & she gets Rly drunk & cries abt it to nora its funny. one day sloane is having a rly rly bad lil depressive episode & nora has been outta town all weekend w her parents & kennedy at their cottage in muskoka & so nora texts jack like. yo sloane has bipolar i she shouldve told u this but like i gotta tell u now bc shes havin a meltdown so pls go over & bring her food from fresh get the falafel tacos & like all the pressed juice ill venmo you & Pls make her shower if she buzzed her hair try to find the scalp treatment i got her from lush its in her dresser top drawer. also shes gonna wanna drink just let her do that & make sure she takes her meds she’ll be ok itll take a day or two & hes like ok. a lot but ok. & he goes & he brings sloane food & a tshirt of his & he gets her into the shower & out to the couch & puts on superstore & she curls up into him on one side & carly rae on the other & she cries a little but honestly its not so bad & like. hes so in love w her its wild she never thought that would happen its a fun plot twist even olivia & i didnt plan on

so anyway the whole show is kinda an ode to toronto & an ode to being young & in love w your friends in a rly profound way & also what its like to fall in love w ppl u might wanna spend ur life with, a kinda love thats v new. its abt queerness & gender & race in a way thats v much present but all of the main characters r rly informed & rly like passionate abt intersectional feminism & thats a cool aspect we r both v excited abt. also sloane deals v realistically w a balance between being stable w bipolar I & also being v creative & v connected to making music which is smth thats v important to me esp. nora was sexually assaulted before she met ridley (HATE!) but we delve into that as well. 

mostly like. its just ‘we’re never done w killing time/ can i kill it w you/ i’d like it if you stayed’ 

Ever Have I? Never.

Several someones told me to write NnT fic, so I went ahead and wrote some NnT fic. There is a significant shortage of pre-exile Holy Knight Seven Deadly Sins (a.k.a. pre-pie era) in canon and in fandom; here’s my minor contribution toward fixing that.

“Uh-huh, like you’ve ever done anything valuable.”

“And which one of you two has any incredible accomplishments to their name? Don’t tell me the old fart over there is king of the fairy tale clubhouse or something ♪.”

“Don’t aim your underhanded snark at Diane just because she’s right, Ban.”

“Hey Kiiing, I’ve told you where to stuff it before, haaven’t I?”

Meliodas sighed internally. And externally, too.

Keep reading


That Thing We Call a Heart by Sheba Karim

Shabnam Qureshi is a funny, imaginative Pakistani-American teen attending a tony private school in suburban New Jersey. When her feisty best friend, Farah, starts wearing the headscarf without even consulting her, it begins to unravel their friendship. After hooking up with the most racist boy in school and telling a huge lie about a tragedy that happened to her family during the Partition of India in 1947, Shabnam is ready for high school to end. She faces a summer of boredom and regret, but she has a plan: Get through the summer. Get to college. Don’t look back. Begin anew.

Everything changes when she meets Jamie, who scores her a job at his aunt’s pie shack, and meets her there every afternoon. Shabnam begins to see Jamie and herself like the rose and the nightingale of classic Urdu poetry, which, according to her father, is the ultimate language of desire. Jamie finds Shabnam fascinating—her curls, her culture, her awkwardness. Shabnam finds herself falling in love, but Farah finds Jamie worrying.

With Farah’s help, Shabnam uncovers the truth about Jamie, about herself, and what really happened during Partition. As she rebuilds her friendship with Farah and grows closer to her parents, Shabnam learns powerful lessons about the importance of love, in all of its forms.

Featuring complex, Muslim-American characters who defy conventional stereotypes and set against a backdrop of Radiohead’s music and the evocative metaphors of Urdu poetry, THAT THING WE CALL A HEART is a honest, moving story of a young woman’s explorations of first love, sexuality, desire, self-worth, her relationship with her parents, the value of friendship, and what it means to be true.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy via Edelweiss for review purposes.

Shabnam is a Pakistani-American teen, just finishing up high school when her friendship with her feisty BFF Farah begins to unravel when Farah starts to wear a headscarf without consulting Shabnam. Shabnam starts to make some kind of bad decisions - from kissing the most racist boy in school to telling a huge lie about her family and the partition of India. The end of her school year is really starting to suck; but now Shabnam needs to get through the summer before college. Things start looking up when she meets the charming and romantic Jamie who gets her a job at his Aunt’s pie shack for the summer. Shabnam starts discovering her first love, Urdu poetry, and begins to repair her friendship with Farah - and with Farah’s help, Shabnam discovers the truth about Jamie, and in turn, learns about the important of friendship and love in all it’s forms.

I really loved That Thing We Call A Heart. It deals with so many issues but it’s done so seamlessly. It’s about love and friendship, heartbreak, family, Urdu poetry, and forgotten history. Not to mention the characters are so well developed. I loved our protagonist Shabnam, and I especially loved Farah - our badass, hijab wearing, feminist BFF.

Whilst romance is pretty big chunk of the book,That Thing We Call A Heartis definitely a book that explores love between friends and family. I loved her friendship with Farah. At times, Shabnam is a bad friend - she’s selfish, and not exactly a good listener. When her best friend Farah starts wearing a headscarf, Shabnam is not exactly understanding; subconsciously, she starts to distance herself from Farah. I absoloutely adored Farah - she’s empowering, feminist, funny, feisty and I would absolutely read a book dedicated solely to her. Thankfully, as the book progresses, Shabnam develops and repairs her relationship with Farah and realises how selfish she was being.

Additionally, I adored her relationship with her parents. I loved her affectionate and caring mother, and I even enjoyed her passionate, yet lazy, father. I especially loved how Shabnam and her father connected over their love of Urdu poetry - it was definitely a lovely addition. I’m a sucker for loving and supporting familial relationships so this book is everything I look for in contemporary YA.

And last but not least, there’s lots of talk of what it’s like to be a contemporary Muslim girl, defying conventional stereotypes, what’s it’s like to be a hijab-wearing Muslim girl and how that doesn’t necessarily = good Muslim girl.

“I’m too Muslim for the non-Muslims, but not Muslim enough for the Muslims. And the weird thing is, I realized I’ve been trying to prove to people that I’m cool, that yeah, I don’t drink and whatever but I’m smart and funny and extremely un-oppressed, but I wonder, at the end of the day, will they secretly think a girl in hijab can never be that cool simply because she wears hijab? But then I think, why does it matter what they think of me? I refuse to spend my life proving myself, not to the Muslims, not to the non-Muslims. I’m going to wear a headscarf and I’m going to pray and fast and I’m going to smoke ganja and I’m going to get into Harvard Medical School.”

There’s also discussions on the Partition of India and the Bosnian Genocide, two often forgotten parts of history.

This book is a real gem. It tackles so many important relevant issues and I think it’s messages about love and identity will resonate with a lot of readers.

Rating: ★★★★★

Thirsty Thursday - Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,519

Summary: The reader wants Dean to go out for Thirsty Thursday, even though he needs to study for an important test.

Part 1

“You’re sooo pretty.” You mumble as you run your hand through Dean’s dirty blonde hair.

“Do you think you’re pretty, Dean?” You say draping yourself on him.

“Not as pretty as you, sweetheart.” He chuckles.

“Awww…” You grab his face and start pinching it.

“I’m trying to drive, Y/N!”

“I’m not even touching you!” You fib as you hold on to him even tighter than before.

“Liar.” He says turning to look at you.

Keep reading

Every Rose Has its Thorn (G Dragon drama)

Synopsis: Kwon Ji Yong. Better known as the one and only G Dragon. Party boy and superstar. As he becomes best friends with his stylist, Victoria, their best friend relationship soon turns into friends with benefits, and Ji Yong does everything he can to keep it a secret. This would mean seeing other people. But once Victoria’s first love and many other obstacles come into the picture, Ji Yong begins to feel like this relationship should be kept exclusive.

Rated: Yes

Every Rose Has it’s Thorn:

Club Night:

        Victoria was never one to be easy. But by little by little he dirtied her. She wondered if things would have happened the same way if she had known his identity that night, the night she met him. The lights were dim, the music was loud, the alcohol was flowing through everyone’s veins, and her mind was lost. And he was there.

         “I’m not even joking, my aunt got me this.” Victoria showed the diamond necklace to Sungah through web cam.

               "Whoa, how much did that cost?“ Sungah asked, sitting on Ryeowook’s bed.

               "I have no idea, but isn’t it awesome?” Victoria grinned. “You can send me my gift when I get myself over there. It takes forever to get across an entire ocean.”

               "I promise, I’ll go shopping for you tomorrow.“ Sungah poked her screen. "You’re on the plane now?”

               "Yeah. You wouldn’t believe how much stuff I had to get shipped over there before getting on this plane.“ Victoria took a sip of her drink. "I’ve been in this seat for ten hours straight, and I am dead.”

               "You can’t die yet, you have a job to do when you get here.“ Sungah laughed, holding one of Ryeowook’s pillows.

               "Oh yeah, you’re right.” Victoria rubbed the side of her head, shutting her eyes. “I’m going to have to deal with five men that Korea likes to call, Big Bang.”

               "So pretty soon you’ll officially be G Dragon’s stylist. You just have to survive the rest of the way here.“

               "Yeah. Wish me luck.”

       There was a time when she was innocent, a time where she wouldn’t have even attempted to do the things she had done with him, or have the confidence she had when she was with him. But that changed when she met him. Him. Kwon Ji Yong.

               "Missy, I literally just got here, I’m incredibly jet lagged, I don’t even like clubs!“ Victoria crashed on her new bed in the two bedroom apartment she’d now be sharing with her friend (and now co-worker), Missy.

               "Come on, I don’t wanna go pick up cute guys all alone.” Missy whined, sitting next to her.

       Missy was a pretty baby face with long platinum blonde hair, who just looked so good like apple pie. But she was not act how she appeared to be, which was obvious since she was well known back in Phoenix.

              “Is that all you’ve been doing the entire four months you’ve been here?” Victoria took out her pony tail, letting her bright cherry red hair fall past her shoulders.        

               "No.“ Missy mumbled to herself. "I work too.”

               Victoria raised an eyebrow at her. “You didn’t sleep with all the CEO’s again did you?”

               "Of course not!“ Missy lied terribly. "You’re so quick to judge me.”

               Victoria was too tired to care, and just buried her face in her pillow. “Just go clubbing by yourself. I wasn’t interested in Phoenix and I’m not any more interested here.”

               "Come on.“ Missy shook Victoria’s shoulders. "Please, please, please, please, please! It’ll be fun!”

       Victoria didn’t fight her off but she did want sleep, and Missy obviously wasn’t going to let her get that.

               "Go. Away.“ Victoria’s voice was muffled by the pillow.

               "Victoria Light, if you don’t come with me right now then I’m telling your parents you had sex with your boss in order to get the job offer to come over here.”

               Victoria shot her head up at her threat. “That was you not me!”


               Victoria clenched her jaw and got up from the bed. "I hate you.”

               "You’ll get over it.“

               "Keep dreaming.”

       Missy was sporting a small, skin tight, and single strapped blue dress, while Victoria just wore a simple long sleeved but black dress, that was short at the legs and hugged her body in all the right places.

       Going out to clubs and drinking was never Victoria’s thing. She didn’t absolutely hate it per say, it was just something she didn’t feel the need to do often. It was something that she would do with Missy maybe once a year, which didn’t stop Missy from going every week or more.

        Victoria could hear the music blaring as she stood in line. It was freezing outside, but she was close to the front of the line already. She wrapped her arms around herself as she moved forward, and once she’s in, her eyes have to adjust to the sudden darkness. There are multicolored flashing lights on the dance floor, but they are not bright enough to reach beyond that. It was very crowded that night.

       As she made her way to the bar, dancing sweaty bodies pressed and rubbed up against her. She could feel their eyes on her and Missy as they passed. She always felt a little out of place at places like these, but thanks to Missy, she would just have to go with it. After a drink or two, Missy wandered off with some rich guy sitting next to them, Victoria not wanting to go too deep into thought on what they would be doing at the back of the building.

       Great, now I’m all alone. She thought about texting Sungah but she didn’t know what to say. Should she ask her to pick her up, come join her there for company (since obviously Missy was occupied at the moment), or just text her for the sake of not looking like a complete loner? She was now completely over tired, not feeling the need to sleep anymore. She decided to take her Missy frustration out by downing more and more drinks to the point where she was off her ass drunk.

       In a matter of minutes, she was sweating on the dance floor, but it felt so good. Her body moved to the rhythm of the music, which contained mostly of dubstep remixes and rap. Someone, a guy, who was just as drunk as she was, was watching her. He pushed past the few people that were in his way, making his move towards her.

       He came up behind her and gently put his hands on her hips, pulling her close so she could move smoothly against him. She just went with it, her mind to clouded by alcohol to care about who he was. She grinded against his front, her body like a soft wave against his. He turned her around so he could see what he could of her pretty face, one of the red lights up above really putting emphasis of color to her hair.

       His hands traveled to her butt, something Victoria would’ve minded a little more if she were sober, especially when his lips touched her sensitive neck. She put one arm around his shoulders while the other softly stroked his short-platinum blonde hair. His lips traveled up her neck to her jaw, making their sweet way to her ear.

               "Let’s get out of here.“ He purred into her ear. She was very more than willing to, just for tonight.

       She left with him, not caring about Missy. She’ll probably be home the next morning or maybe not. Those were problems that made them being roommates back in America not work out. They hitched a taxi, bringing them back to her apartment. During the ride there, his hand touched up her thigh, while his other hand played with her hair.

               "You look familiar.” She looked at him with lust filled eyes.

               "I think names can be saved for now.“ He whispered into her ear. She couldn’t help but feel like his voice was a little familiar, like she had definitely heard it before. "Tonight, I’m just some guy.”

               Victoria giggled as she bit her lip. “I’m okay with that.”

       They both rushed into her apartment, not wanting to waste any more time then they already had. Kissing him feverishly as soon as they shut the front door, her hands explored his body gently. Touching his arms, shoulders, chest, back, neck, not leaving a speck untouched. His hands were wandering too. From her shoulders, to her waist, then her butt.

The kiss began to get a little more heated as he breathed harder and used more and more of his talented tongue. The slick muscle was so wet and dominate.

Her fingers ran through his hair and they both knew exactly where to go next. They walked, still locking lips, into her bedroom. Once they were standing by the bed, he shoved her onto the bed, climbing right on top of her He kissed her again, so passionately, using his tongue to explore every inch of her mouth. And damn was he a good kisser! She quickly sat up to unzip her dress, which he gladly helped pull off, throwing it elsewhere, revealing pale smooth skin. As the stranger’s hands slowly glided up her body, she couldn’t help but get goosebumps, shuddering at his at his touch.

               "You’re so sensitive.“ The handsome stranger smirked, his lips brushing against hers. "I like it.”

               "Maybe it’s just you.“

               "Maybe it’s just me.” He mimicked before locking lips with her again.

       Neither could take it anymore, so they both sat up and worked together to remove his button up plaid shirt, following his jeans. It wasn’t long until they were bare naked with their hearts pounding against each other.

               "I really need this.“ He whispered into her neck, breathing heavily as he lifted her leg, putting it around him. His hand stroked her smooth thigh, and she could feel his hard length against her, making her skin heat up, making her heart beat faster.

               "I can feel your heart.” He purred, pushing his chest against her own. “Do you feel mine?”

       After one last kiss, he wasted no more time pushing himself inside her, making her feel so warm inside. Keeping his hand on her thigh, he kept her leg up against him as he gradually quickened his pace in and out. With each thrust, their breathing became quicker and heavier.

               "You’re so beautiful.“ He panted, his grip on her thigh tightening.

       He began groaning and moaning, enjoying this like it was the last time we would get this chance.

       With all her strength, she reached up slightly to give him one more kiss as they lost themselves in the steaming moment. The faster he went, hitting that right spot, the closer they both got. Their moans got louder, his groans getting more fierce.

       They had climaxed simultaneously, her nails digging into his shoulders, making him hiss into his orgasm. His tight grip on her thigh will most likely leave bruises. A reminder of his fingers, pressing into her skin because of their sudden encounter. He collapsed next to her, breathing heavily, along with her. He was sweating, and his heart was racing. As he gathered himself, savoring each and every moment he was sharing with this lovely stranger, she also caught her breath.

       He would most likely be gone in the morning, as if it never happened. She’ll never see him, this stranger, again. This had to be the number one reason of why she hated going to clubs.


       Victoria woke the next morning to the other side of the bed empty, which she sadly expected. She didn’t even get a name from him, not like he wanted to tell her anyway. She could barely remember his face, but she did remember what he made her feel that night. It was like heaven.

       Her hair was a mess, and her body was slightly sore. Her body was cover with her bed sheet, that wasn’t there the night before. Had he put it there? If that was the case, it was rather sweet. Too bad she won’t be seeing him again.

       Rubbing her tired eyes, she looked to her left to see her phone sitting on her end table. Picking it up, she looked at the time to see that her alarm had been shut off, and she was late for her first day at the company!

               "Oh god!” Victoria smacked herself on the head, sprinting out of bed and getting ready as fast as she could. She only had time to throw on the dress she wore the night before, since it was the closest in reach. Missy wasn’t there. She was going to kill her when she meets her at the YG building, no doubt.

       She straight up jumped into a taxi, begging for him to go as fast as he could. She didn’t care if she overpaid him when she got out because she had no time to care about that. She sprinted to the door and inside, trying to find the right room she needed to be in. She found Yang Hyun-Suk’s office and accidently slammed herself into the closed door because she was running so fast. She brushed it off and opened the door, walking inside as she caught her breath.

               "It’s about time you showed up.“ Yang Hyun-Suk laughed a little at his desk. "Rough morning?”

               "A little bit.“ Victoria replied, still trying to return her breathing to a normal pace.

       Victoria saw his secretary standing by his desk picking up paperwork, that person being Missy. If only she could kill her in front of their boss, right?

       As soon as Missy walked past her, she grabbed her arm to have a quick word.

               "Did you come home last night?” Victoria whispered to her.

               "Yeah.“ Missy answered. "You looked like you had some fun if you know what I mean.”

               "Did you shut off the alarm on my phone?“

               "Of course I did. You seemed so out of it, I didn’t wanna wake you.”

               "Missy!“ Victoria tried not to yell. "You know I need that to wake up in the morning! And maybe if you let me sleep last night instead of dragging me to some club this wouldn’t have happened!”

               "I don’t see why you’re complaining.“ Missy smirked. "I thought you would be all happy sunshine because you got into bed with him.”

               "Him?“ Victoria was curious as to why she put so much emphasis on the word.

               "Oh, you don’t remember, do you?” Missy raised her eyebrows in surprise at the realization. “Well this is awkward.”

               "Why is it awkward?“ Victoria was incredibly confused as to what was happening.

               "Victoria, I want you to formally meet the idols you’ll be working for.” Yang Hyun-Suk stood from his desk, approaching the door. “You can come in now.”

       Missy awkwardly stepped back a little to make room near the doorway, clutching the files to her chest. The door opened and in came five young men, one in particular having, platinum blonde hair.

       Victoria’s eyes went wide, as did his at the sight of each other. She recognized him all right, but not in the way she wanted. This couldn’t be happening. He knew exactly who she was.

               "Boys, this is Victoria Light, she’ll be your new stylist.“ Yang Hyun-Suk gestured to Victoria.

       She already knew she would be working for Big Bang, but she was not expecting this kind of aftermath from the night before.

       The handsome stranger, the man she had slept with the night before, was Kwon Ji Yong.