if i did i can't remember

okay but imagine harry making a group chat for his friends from hogwarts just because and draco is there too but he literally never talks because he’s all like “that’s a muggle thing phew” but really he didn’t know how to use that

AND the first time that draco actually talks in the group chat is to send a video of harry who stubbed his toe on a table and is lying on the floor curled up into a ball screaming “I DIDN’T KILL VOLDEMORT FOR THIS

and then the camera switches to draco’s bored face and with the most monotone voice ever he says “the boy who lived twice” and he’s holding a clock that shows 4:27am

slavic languages gothic

You see a sentence written in cyrillic. Some of the letters are familiar. You see the meaning shimmering underneath the surface. You almost grasp it, but it slips away. The letters on the page mock you silently.

You know this Czech word. You’ve already learnt it in Polish. It is not the same word. It is a grave insult. Your slavic friends are shocked and embarassed for you when they hear you speak it.

There is a sentence in Croatian. There is a sentence in Serbian. There is a sentence in Bosnian. They are all the same sentence.

You have to write about your day in Slovak. You spend the night polishing the draft. You fail your assigment. It’s written in Czech. You don’t know Czech.

P is not what it seems. You have to remember that.

The Croatian sentence does not mean what the Bosnian sentence means. They both mean the same in Serbian.

That word has a diminutive. The diminutive has its own diminutive. The diminutive of the diminutive also has a diminutive. Nobody knows what the final diminutive of a word is. Some say the knowledge had been lost in centuries past and matrioshkas are the echo, the tangible warning left for us to remember. No living creature should hold the means of diminishing something into nonexistence.
Others say you may still find some of them in old soviet textbooks, if you dare to look in abandoned schools of Chernobyl.

Someone is speaking to you. Is that a he or a she? You aren’t sure. It’s an abstract concept. Why does it have gender.

You see a word in a dictionary. It has seventeen letters and only one vowel. You close the dictionary very carefully not looking at the phonetic transcription. The shape of it haunts you in your sleep. You wake up face damp with tears, a bitter taste on your tongue. The clock blinks 3:03AM. You do not dare look up that word again.

This word means the same thing in the five slavic languages you’re familiar with. You use it in the sixth one. That word does not exist in this language. It never did. There is now a word-shaped void in the fabric of this language. The natives look at you uneasily. There is a new quality to the silence and your palms start to sweat.

H is not H. H is not H. H is not H. H is not H.

One day you flip through your dictionary. A page is missing. What was the word? You can’t remember. There is pressure building at the back of your head. The clock blinks 3:03AM.

You write my name is in cyrillic. There are shadows dancing on the walls. They grow longer with each letter you write down. It is not cyrillic you’re using. You keep writing my name is. The shadows now bleed from the tip of your pen. It’s irrelevant. You need to remember the right letters.

N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not… If only you could remember the letters. The letters are important. What was it, that wasn’t N?

There are nine different prefixes you can add to a verb to change its meaning. There are fifty three different suffixes you have to add to a verb to make it work. In the end the only thing left of the original is a vague shape of one of its middle consonants. You can feel the anguish radiating from the verb’s mutialted form. A desperate sob escapes through your clenched teeth. You’re so, so sorry, you didn’t meant to. You didn’t. It doesn’t matter.

You now read a text in Russian. You’ve never learnt Russian. Why are you reading that text? The words burn your eyes, the meaning searing your mind.

There’s a shot of vodka in front of you. You don’t drink alcohol. You don’t care. All existence is meaningless, your soul’s in eternal pain. A broken matrioshka lays at your feet. There is no salvation, she says boring into your eyes. You open your mouth to answer, but there is only a burst of harsh rustle. It dies in whispering echoes a moment later. Your glass is empty again.

No lie. I’ve been watching it for 5min straight. It’s been months and i’m still not over it.

Someone else on tumblr pointed out that PASSENGERS might have been a more meaningful movie if it was about just THE ONE person dealing with being alone on the ship for the rest of their life.  And if, to cope, they go through and make it a point to learn everything they can about all of the other people on the ship.

And I just keep thinking about this idea.

Keep reading

20 years in the future
  • My daughter: Mom, I found this show called Voltron Legendary Defender on your Netflix account.
  • Me, in my Red Lion jacket, gently placing my Red Lion mug down on the table: *long, suffering sigh*
  • My daughter: Is everything okay?
  • Me, softly: So it has to be like this, huh...
  • My daughter: Mom? What is it?
  • Me: Katie, please go get your brothers Takashi and Keith and your sister Allura. There's something I have to tell you.

anonymous asked:

Chat Noir #143 please

Decided to make one more before going to bed. That was actually not as easy as it might look? Idk.


They say it’s your birthday 

It’s my birthday too, yeah

We’re gonna have a good time


Lance’s bday soon!!!

Klance week 2017 - Day Seven: Free Day

  • Sarada: Mummy, when did you fall in love with Dad?
  • Sakura: mummy fell in love with daddy at a young age.
  • Sarada: was he your first kiss?
  • Sakura: no, Naruto was.
  • Sarada:
  • Sarada: wHAT
  • Sarada: DAD WHO WAS YOUR FIRST KISS
  • Sasuke: also Naruto
  • Hohenheim: Envy is your half-brother.
  • Edward Elric: I heard that. I'm still processing.
  • Hohenheim: Yes, I'm a little behind on the times, but I believe the term you're searching for is "OMG."

i really hope that dc announcing that wonder woman is bisexual sets off a string of dc and marvel announcing that all their superheroes are gay to try and one-up each other. like, tomorrow we wake up to find that marvel has admitted that captain america has been bi all along. then dc counters by making batman gay. next thing you know black widow is canonically ace. and no one stops until all their superheroes are somewhere on the lgbt+ spectrum