if i can't have it i want someone i love to get it

Stuff My Mom Has Told Me During Hamilton (Act 2)
  • What'd I Miss: "Where'd his accent go?"
  • "That's Thomas Jefferson mom."
  • "No that's Lafayette."
  • "Same actor. Different character."
  • Cabinet Battle #1: "Why can't the debates be like this?"
  • Take A Break: "....where the fuck is Peggy?!"
  • Say No To This: "That God damn note what in the shit?!"
  • The Room Where It Happens: "So is Burr like, the person who tries too hard to be cool? Also there was three so what does he mean he arranged the seating?"
  • Schuyler Defeated: "Why do half these songs start the same?"
  • Cabinet Battle #2: "Fourth wall break!"
  • "What?"
  • "They mentioned Lafeyette! Fourth wall break!"
  • "Mom, same actor, different character. Lafayette and Thomas knew each other."
  • "Not important."
  • Washington On Your Side: "I've never been so ready to drop kick someone."
  • *Casually scoots away*
  • One Last Time: "Alex has such daddy issues..."
  • I Know Him: "I had actually forgotten about the King..."
  • "How?"
  • "I don't know! I thought he died!"
  • The Adams Administration: "This song is so short."
  • "It's not the full bit."
  • "What?"
  • *plays full one*
  • "Alex has a lot of anger issues."
  • We Know: "Wait - why do Jefferson and Alex hate each other so much? Is that sexual tension?"
  • "Mom..."
  • Hurricane: "You know I was in a hurricane once..."
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: "Wait why do the three sound shocked? They already knew! They read it as if they hadn't!"
  • Burn: "Hello tears I forgot about you..."
  • Blow Us All Away: "I forgot they had kids...wait wasn't he just nine?"
  • Stay Alive (Reprise): "My God...you ever try and take a gun to fight someone and I may just kill you."
  • "That is /not/ the point of this song."
  • It's Quiet Uptown: *she just refuses to stop hugging me*
  • "Mom...please..."
  • "Shhh let me show my love..."
  • "Mom your tears are in my hair!"
  • The Election Of 1800: "What the shit?! Stop having depressing songs then a fun one!"
  • "Please let go of me..."
  • Your Obedient Servant: "This is so passive aggressive..."
  • Best Of Wives And Best Of Women: "This sounds so cute but...it's so sad?"
  • "Have you learned nothing throughout this?"
  • "...I want to hate it. I can't."
  • The World Was Wide Enough: "He...does know when people get older they need glasses right? Glasses don't mean murder. Otherwise you and your four eyes would be killing every day!"
  • Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: "That's Washington! I recognize that voice! It's so deep and sexy!"
  • "Mom this is an emotional song."
  • "I know! That voice deserves more action!"
  • "Mom..."
  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.
Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.
My Chemical Romance Asks
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b></b> I brought you my bullets, You brought me your love<p/><b>Romance:</b> Who was your first love?<p/><b>Honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us:</b> Is there a side of yourself that no one knows about?<p/><b>Vampires will never hurt you:</b> Vampires or angry men?<p/><b>Drowning Lessons:</b> Plan on getting married?<p/><b>Our Lady of Sorrows:</b> Are you religious?<p/><b>Headfirst for Halos:</b> Are you hopeful? If so, what for?<p/><b>Skylines and Turnstiles:</b> An important event that changed your life or perspective?<p/><b>Early Sunsets Over Monroeville:</b> What's your favorite horror movie?<p/><b>This Is the Best Day Ever:</b> Ever been to the hospital?<p/><b>Cubicles:</b> Where would you be without My Chem?<p/><b>Demolition Lovers:</b> Would you die for your current lover?<p/><b></b> Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge<p/><b>Helena:</b> Have you lost a family member or friend?<p/><b>Give 'Em Hell, Kid:</b> Have you ever considered committing murder?<p/><b>To The End:</b> Corpse Bride. Yay or nay?<p/><b>You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison:</b> Ever committed a crime?<p/><b>I'm Not Okay (I Promise):</b> Ever felt out of place?<p/><b>The Ghost of You:</b> Ever cried while watching a movie?<p/><b>The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You:</b> Ever been cheated on or have cheated?<p/><b>Interlude:</b> Favorite My Chem song?<p/><b>Thank You for the Venom:</b> Ever wrote something stupid on a t-shirt?<p/><b>Hang 'Em High:</b> Ever shot a gun?<p/><b>It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Deathwish:</b> Who's your best friend?<p/><b>Cemetery Drive:</b> What's the hardest drive you've experienced?<p/><b></b> The Black Parade<p/><b>The End:</b> Ever thought it'd be the end for you?<p/><b>Dead!:</b> Ever wanted to die?<p/><b>This Is How I Disappear:</b> Ever done something to someone that you can't forgive yourself for?<p/><b>The Sharpest Lives:</b> Are you anxious?<p/><b>Welcome to the Black Parade:</b> What's your favorite memory?<p/><b>I Don't Love You:</b> Have you ever stopped loving them?<p/><b>House of Wolves:</b> What is your favorite era?<p/><b>Cancer:</b> Old or new?<p/><b>Mama:</b> Ever disappointed your parents?<p/><b>Sleep:</b> Any bad dreams?<p/><b>Teenagers:</b> Are you scared of people your own age?<p/><b>Disenchanted:</b> What changed your life for the better?<p/><b>Famous Last Words:</b> What changed your mind about things?<p/><b>Blood:</b> Any hidden secrets no one knows?<p/><b>Danger Days:</b> The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys<p/><b>Look Alive, Sunshine:</b> What time do you wake up?<p/><b>Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na):</b> What gives you strength?<p/><b>Bulletproof Heart:</b> Do you miss anyone right now?<p/><b>SING:</b> Who is your idol?<p/><b>Planetary (GO!):</b> Biggest accomplishment?<p/><b>The Only Hope for Me Is:</b> Do you consider yourself hopeless?<p/><b>Jet Star and The Kobra Kid/Traffic Report:</b> What's your favorite go-to outfit?<p/><b>Party Poison:</b> Do you speak different languages?<p/><b>Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back:</b> What is your biggest wish?<p/><b>S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W:</b> Biggest regrets?<p/><b>Summertime:</b> Who's got you excited for the summer?<p/><b>DESTROYA:</b> If you could save anyone in the world from danger/poverty/war/etc. Who would it be?<p/><b>The Kids From Yesterday:</b> What do you wish you could tell your past self?<p/><b>Goodnite, Dr. Death:</b> Opinions on standing for the National Anthem?<p/><b>Vampire Money:</b> What is your catchphrase irl?<p/></p><p/><
Kitten’s Got His Tongue | M | 01

Yoongi & Jimin | BTS | 5.5k Words | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05.

Yoongi orders Jimin and you from a hybrid companion service, but when he receives the two of you, he has no idea what to actually do with you.

Keep reading

Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.
First-Meeting Sentence Starters
  • Several different scenarios that can be combined or modified for your pleasure:
  • "Uh, hi there."
  • "I was here first. Go to the back of the line!"
  • "Excuse me, is there any way you could let me go before you? I'm in a hurry."
  • "Service here is TERRIBLE today!"
  • "Is this seat taken?"
  • "Do you have a moment to talk?"
  • "Hi, listen, there's someone following me, and I'm paranoid so can you talk to me for a few minutes to make it look like I'm not alone?"
  • "Here, take this and run with me. I'll explain later!"
  • "Do you have some cash? This vending machine just ate the last of mine..."
  • "Hey, were you going to use this machine next? It gave me a free bag of chips, and I don't need to eat that many!"
  • "Do you work here?"
  • "Look, I'm not an employee, but the ____ are right over there."
  • "Hey, is this yours? It was by your feet."
  • "Are you from ____ or ____?"
  • "Hello, ____."
  • "I swear I've seen you on TV."
  • "Yes, I'm ____, and I can take a picture with you if you want."
  • "Oh my gosh, can I pet your dog?!"
  • "Sorry, there was a hair hanging off of your sleeve, and it was bothering me."
  • "Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to walk into you!"
  • "Wait a minute! I think they mixed up our orders."
  • "Ugh, this isn't my food. Did anyone here order a ____?"
  • "You look so cold. Do you want to borrow my jacket?"
  • "H-Hey, I'm freezing. Is there any way I can s-stand close to you and maybe get warmer?"
  • "You poor thing, you look like you're cooking! Here, take a bottle of water."
  • "It's so hot I think I might pass out. Can you help me?"
  • "Are you okay?"
  • "Oh, good, you're awake. What happened to you?"
  • "Where am I?"
  • "Get in! You're in danger!"
  • "Please, let me ride with you. There's someone after me!"
  • "Grab the spare helmet and jump on."
  • "Are you playing ____?"
  • "Hey, do you want to trade friend codes?"
  • "Hi, my date just stood me up, so now I have a free ticket."
  • "I'd love to take that free spot as long as you don't mind sitting next to me."
  • "Have you seen a lost child around here?"
  • "I found this child, and by the look on your face, I think they're yours."
  • "That coat isn't real fur, is it?"
  • "If you can't tell the difference between real animal pelt and fake, you shouldn't be harassing people on the street."
  • "Are we locked in here?"
  • "Can I use your phone?"
  • "Here, take my phone. No questions asked."
  • "What's cookin' good lookin'?"
  • "If you're trying to flirt with me, you may want to try again."
YOI Skaters As Things I Have Done
  • Viktor: Collapsed in the hallway because my friend wasn't paying enough attention to me, spent hundreds of dollars on a gift for same friend, and pissed off a bunch of my other friends by declaring said friend as my favorite
  • Yurio: Accidentally kicked one of my friends in the head, then laughing when she got pissed
  • Yuuri: Woke my mom up at 2am because of all the racket I was making in the kitchen while stress baking cookies
  • Christophe: Showing my friends photos of my boobs because "don't they look so good in this photo?" and getting the response "your boobs are fantastic"
  • Phichit: Keeping a folder of all the ugly selfies my best friend has ever sent me to give to her future boyfriend
  • Mila: Picked up friend and ran to PE because "your legs are too short to keep up with mine, either buy roller skates and hold onto my sleeve or let me carry you, we don't have all day"
  • Georgi: Sent my girlfriend at the time 500 seconds of snapchats in under 10 minutes before she woke up and then continued to send more after she woke up
  • Sara: Gave an hour long lecture to one of my best friends who I consider to be family on gender roles and why I generally dislike men who aren't fictional that some how turned into me listing reasons why girls are beautiful and I Love them
  • Michele: Have given the same two pieces of dating advice to one of my friends for years, "dump him" or "give me your phone, I'm going to fight him"
  • Emil: Hugged one of my best friends for over an hour, actually it was closer to two, I only let go when I fell asleep
  • JJ: Talked for a full hour about how hot I am to one of my friends and then after a few minutes of silence, whispered "oh god, I really hate myself" and then curled up into a ball and cried
  • Minami: Consistently terrifies friends with shrieking flying tackle hugs from behind, screams of terror usually ensue
  • Seung-gil: Robotically wrote the Bee Movie Script on the classroom board when we had a sub, "Do you have work you are supposed to be doing?" "Yes." "Is this it?" "No, do you have any more questions?" "I- uh, no, I guess not."
  • Guang Hong: Texted someone that if they messed with my best friend I would brutally murder them and then followed up with blushing emojis and flower emojis
  • Leo: Listened to the same song on repeat 12 hours a day, for over a week, until I could hear the song playing in my dreams
  • Bonus, Coaches + Teachers:
  • Yakov: Some how became the mom friend despite the fact that I can't even take care of myself, "I swear to god if you skip physics oNE MORE TIME", "Do your homework, I know where you sleep", "Oh for fuck's sake, come over to my house, I'm not going to listen to you bitch for weeks because you didn't want to disinfect your cuts"
  • Minako: Was running a high fever during my physics final to the point where I was fading in and out of consciousness, and aced it
  • Lilia: Developed a reputation for having terrifying kicks after I realized that the men in my karate class couldn't hold back their punches if they were too busy avoiding getting nailed in the balls
  • Celestino: Refused to stop smiling and laughing for a full day, actually got kicked out of class because I laughed so much

After all these years, the thing that still gets me about Hannibal is the idea that someone could see all of someone else’s messy inner workings and still want them - and it’s even more than that, it’s the idea that someone could want someone else because of their messy inner workings.

This seems like such an insane and unrealistic thing to me, but isn’t that exactly what we all want in life? Just to be seen and understood and wanted, not in spite of yourself, but because of exactly who you are?

Like, shit, can you even imagine someone knowing about the awful way you organize your sock drawer, or how you actually take your pizza when you’re only ordering for yourself, or what your workout playlist looks like, or the way you threw on up on the staircase in front of everyone in the fourth grade, or the secret stash of Velveeta you keep in the pantry, or the recurring dream you have about getting lost in a nail salon, or your permanent and unabiding fear that love is fake and everyone’s been lying to you this whole time - can you even imagine someone knowing all that stuff about you, and still wanting you in every way? Damn, that’s some heavy shit.

THE SIGNS AS THINGS I'VE SAID BEFORE
  • Aries: People hold hands? Psh I can't relate, I throw hands like a real man.
  • Taurus: [puts on fake glasses] It's time to read some hoes.
  • Gemini: Me actually liking someone? Sounds fake, I just like the validation that I'm not complete trash.
  • Cancer: I'm internally screaming right now because the one day I decide to wear makeup I keep crying. My eyelashes are clumping together and I cannot. I refuse.
  • Leo: Do you ever see the sun and you're like ... Man, I'd love to punch it because same. I want to punch the sun so hard. My only chance to be fist-kissed by a hottie.
  • Virgo: I feel bad that I don't recycle. I just can't be inspired to do it because I still feel terrible about life after doing so. [throws water bottle in recycling bin] Oh look, I still have depression!
  • Libra: I want to have a flowery aesthetic... I need a group of friends that are always willing to take pictures of frolicking through flower fields.
  • Scorpio: I love the fact that no one really knows anything about me, but it also makes me kind of sad at the same time. What is my legacy besides being the mysterious and hot one?
  • Sagittarius: The only person in this world who will never break my heart is education connection lady. She's still in 2009 singing about her education experience and I refuse to believe anything different.
  • Capricorn: I've spent 10 hours of my life listening to the education connection song. If I don't make it to college, then I may as well just die.
  • Aquarius: Other people around me are always like "I LOVE YOU! OMG, I LOVE YOU!" Meanwhile I'm just eating my imaginary popcorn thinking about how much I hate everyone.
  • Pisces: I'm eating five hour old chicken nuggets and I'm sad. I don't think I'll finish them... I have to throw them away... This is probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

anonymous asked:

So Peggy starts the best bar fights? Elaborate, please.

oh man, those were the good old days. 

the howlies got in a lot of bar fights. you might think that the last thing a bunch of soldiers would want to do with their free time is fight people, but actually bar fights were a great stress relief. nobody really got seriously injured, and we tried to keep property damage to a minimum.  (and we also almost never started bar fights, for the record. most of the time it was guys from another unit who wanted to prove how badass they were by taking on the infamous howling commandos.) so bar fights themselves weren’t that unusual.

but peggy’s bar fights…oh, they were glorious. 

see, peggy never got in a fight for no reason; she was smarter than that. but when she did fight, it was truly beautiful. ive never seen a better right cross, before or since.

so one time we were on leave, sipping drinks in this english pub. the howlies were at the back table, enjoying a couple pitchers, while peggy was up at the bar, chatting with the barmaid. many of the bars and pubs back then had female bartenders–filling the gaps with the men off at war. and generally barmaids (which was what a female bartender was called back then) were the sort of girl pegs got along with–sensible, dependable, and not willing to take shit from any man. so she often enjoyed commiserating with the barmaids while we drank. she used to say she had to be free of us ‘charming gentlemen’ before she wound up blowing things up as erratically as we did. which was hurtful. our explosions were very intentional.
mostly.

so peggy got to chat about the best ways to hurl drunken idiots out doors and we got to ply steve with alcohol to see how much booze it would take to make him drunk. (tragically, we never found out.)

on this particular occasion, peggy was sitting at the bar when this mountain of a man came in. and i mean huge. thor-sized. like the hulk’s pinker younger brother. and with him came a dozen or so of his closest friends, all locals. (they may also have been poorly disguised orcs. im not sure, but i wouldn’t discount it as a possibility after seeing all the nonsense ive seen) the group of them made their way up to the bar, wedged their way in, and started harassing the barmaid. 

now, i don’t know what they said. peggy refused to repeat it. all i know is that one of the larger idiots said something stupid, laughed, and reached out to grope the barmaid. his hand made it about six inches from her chest when peggy’s fist broke his nose. he hit the floor like a tree falling, and the bar went quiet for a split second before one exceptionally suicidal idiot lunged at peggy.

everything went crazy. there were a good few dozen of us 107th guys in the bar, and all of us knew and adored pegs, so when the mountain-men went after her, every fine man of the 107th went after them. but it turned out that the locals defended their own, and we were pretty evenly matched for numbers. within seconds, everyone was throwing punches. bottles were thrown. dernier used a tablecloth to blind a man and threw him out a window. dumdum used one guy’s fists to hit another guy. i hurled bottlecaps at people’s eyeballs, because it’s fun.(im a sniper. we like distance) steve tried to wade through the chaos to get to peggy, but people kept punching him and then clutching their hands in agony, so he got kind of bogged down. 

at the bar, peggy was demonstrating exactly why she was the 107th’s darling–because she could put a grown man twice her size on the ground in two seconds flat. she knocked out six men; seven more promptly fell in love with her. 

as the chaos began to wind down, most of the locals had either been beaten down or fled, and only the mini-hulk and a couple others were left, brawling like berserkers. we were just about ready to turn steve loose on them when the barmaid handed peggy a stool. peggy took it, walked up behind where most of us howlies were still duking it out, and broke the stool over the big guy’s head. 

he went down hard. the rest of them surrendered out of terror. 

(and, possibly, they had also fallen prey to abruptly-in-love-with-peggy-carter syndrome. but really, who wasn’t?)

In Regards to Hate: On Victuuri

I don’t know what suddenly happened again but there’s a shitton of hate for Victuuri/Viktuuri(/etc) in the tags lately. People are welcome to feel however they want for a particular ship, but I just wanted to give my two cents by tackling the common complaints I’ve seen. I’ll start from the beginning so I’ll be addressing basically all the arguments against this ship I’ve seen so far. I’ve tried to maintain some sort of order for these, but honestly I just winged it at some point.  A lot of these arguments are also heavily character-based, so keep in mind that I’ll be deconstructing several scenes as well as character motivations as I go.  (As a note, this assumes you’ve seen the whole show. Also, I’m only using canon evidence from the show itself.)

This is like an informal follow-up to my super old post but also not really.

No I’m not avoiding work why would you say that.

WARNING: This is a massive post/wall of text. Grab popcorn.

Keep reading

dex has red hair

i have red hair too, which is pretty awesome. and also horrible, sometimes, because being ginger affects so much more than the just the pigment of your hair. so anyways here are some facts about dex and his hair bc i can relate:

  • he’s so pale
    • he’s so pale
    • even when he kind of manages to get a little darker after a sunburn fades, he’s still paler than everyone else’s normal skin tone
  • he does not tan. ever.
    • yeah sure, he may work on a lobster boat all summer, but buddy, i promise you, he’s not gonna come out of it looking nice and bronze
      • (why do people write fics where he comes back from the summer with a killer tan??? no bro, he probably just looks like a lobster. it sucks)
    • his skin just slowly gets pinker until he has a terrible sunburn, and then sometimes if he’s lucky it will turn out a little tanner when it fades
    • he probably uses at least spf 50, lbr here
      • actually, nah probably higher than that if we’re being honest
      • and he has to apply it like every hour
    • ugh and oh my god, he probably gets splotchy sunburns!!!
      • SPLOTCHY SUNBURNS ARE THE WORST
      • basically you think you’ve put sunscreen everywhere and spread it evenly but NOPE
      • random blotches of your skin will just be bright red while the rest is ridiculously pale and you look like you have some sort of disease-ridden rash
      • it has probably happened on his face and it’s the saddest thing
  • he has freckles for dayssssss (especially after the summer because they come back in full force during that season)
    • freckles everywhere
    • in the most random places
    • some are on his lips and on the back of his knees and his elbows and just very odd places
    • its a never ending cycle of freckles fading while new freckles form
    • he kind of gets a tan through his freckles??? 
      • bc he has so many and as they fade they kind of blotch together and make him look tan, but when you look really close you’re just like, oh, those are just tiny dots bunched together, not the actual pigmentation of your skin
    • he has. SO MANY. freckles on his shoulders
      • if you are of the male specimen, you probably go out shirtless in the summertime, and the sun hits you really hard on your shoulders, and thus, so. many. freckles. there.
      • (this is literally the most prominent place of freckles for redhead boys. please ask my brother and all of my cousins)
  • “does the carpet match the drapes?” ;)
    • why do people ask this
    • he gets this all the time, and it’s not just from people hitting on him
      • PEOPLE JUST GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW FOR SOME REASON???
    • and it’s super awkward
    • especially when they don’t match. bc um. a lot of times they don’t. just so you know.
    • “haha, firecrotch, huh?”
      • will wouldn’t find this funny even if it were accurate
  • back to the sunburn thing, it’s nice in the winter when he doesn’t get fried!! JUST KIDDING BC BLUSHING IS A THING
    • yeah anytime he gets remotely embarrassed or flustered, his face is the color of a tomato okay
    • even if he’s not actually uncomfortable, it still happens
      • “dex, nice shirt, man.” ➝ red face
      • “dude, nice assist!”➝ red face
      • *accidentally bumps into someone* ➝ red face
    • anytime nursey says anything ever, his face is red. i promise you this. i know this to be true
  • HE NEVER WEARS RED
    • or pink or orange, for that matter
    • (but i mean he goes to samwell so the red thing is kind of hard)
    • he unintentionally gravitates towards green and blue clothing bc his mom probably accidentally instilled in him that they compliment his hair as a child
      • this is so real. this is the realest, most relatable thing
    • going to samwell was probably super weird bc he had to start buying spirit wear and stuff and when he did, he realized he didn’t own any other red clothing
  • people always make irish jokes or assume he is irish, especially around st. patricks day
    • dex has no idea if he is irish
  • people always ask if another redhead they know is related to him
    • no
  • he has heard every “ginger” joke under the sun
    • no one has ever actually bullied him for it
    • but everyone makes the same jokes
    • will basically mouths the words as people say them bc he knows them so well at this point
    • he’s not actually bothered or offended, it’s just like… dude. he’s heard this before. you’re not being original
      • it’s very boring and a little irritating
    • but if he gets annoyed or doesn’t laugh people think he is a bad sport, so!!! he laughs them off even though he’s very disinterested and wants to tell them to maybe get some new material so they can actually say something remotely humorous next time
    • and he totally knows its not a big deal at all, bc some people have to deal with racist or homophobic jokes, and this doesn’t remotely compare. it’s just… very eye-roll inducing.
  • he gets horrible bruises for the stupidest shit, and sometimes just randomly and he’s not sure where they came from, bc ya gotta love that sensitive skin!!
  • oh and back to the ginger jokes thing, someone always makes a comment about that redhead temper!!
    • which is kind of unfortunate, bc dex kind of does have some temper issues
    • those jokes do not make him less angry either
      • (dex, seriously man. just chill for a sec)

wow this got really long and i could go on forever and ever but yeah basically this is the gist of it. also i’m aware some of this can apply to lots of people but anyways hooray for redheads!!

but a B99 Great British Bake Off AU

obviously this involves it being an American edition/season but that’s fine

  • all of the squad are contestants, as well as like, Doug Judy and a couple of others (maybe Figgis just for laughs idk)
  • Holt and Wuntch are the judges, Kevin and the Vulture are the presenters
  • Wuntch, weirdly, is the nice judge for the most part, cos it’s mainly just Holt she hates, Holt is the tougher judge that everyone wants a handshake off
  • they never agree on anything, coming to decisions is a NIGHTMARE which is how Kevin and the Vulture are unofficial judges behind the scenes
  • the Vulture is his usual awful self, slaps Jake’s ass off camera a lot, genuinely makes him really uncomfortable until Gina and Rosa notice at one point and threaten him until he agrees to stop
  • Kevin is the presenter who goes around and reassures people when they are freaking out
  • also he and Holt met in a baking class back in the day which is part of the reason they love baking so much (they bake together all the time at home)
  • Jake is the baker who literally has no fucking clue how he actually made it in bc he has no idea what he’s doing but somehow he just has a Knack and it always turns out amazing (with the exception of a couple of True Disasters)
  • Amy comes from a long line of amazing bakers and is hella competitive, and super meticulous with her recipes and all instructions, means she Stresses during the technicals but she does know her shit and she just has to keep reminding herself that it’s like an exam where she has to learn in advance and remember
  • Rosa relies on family recipes, says she cares about them more than the actual family members who made them, also goes with her own gut feeling (usually involves putting alcohol in the food if she’s not sure what’s missing)
  • Gina learned how to bake via trial and error and general self-discovery during a year where she was forced to stay at home and take things easy after she got hit by a bus (also usually the one putting alcohol in her food)
  • Terry loves baking for his kids and his wife and they’re his biggest fans, all of his bakes are inspired by them/done with them in mind, he gets teary on the show a lot
  • Charles is still his Foodie self, so he gets Very Intense about it all and is the one that tries all the super weird flavours
  • Hitchcock and Scully applied together and everyone’s fairly sure they just got picked for the comic relief but then occasionally one of them will actually bake something really good??
  • Jake falls in love with Amy during a peanut brownie challenge while they flirt over peanuts, he makes heart eyes at her for the whole competition after that, occasionally gets so distracted by how beautiful/adorkable she’s being that he fucks his bakes up
  • Gina falls in love with Rosa after seeing her punching her bread dough, spends the whole rest of the competition trying to pick her up, it starts to take priority over the actual baking and Kevin has Noticed and is subtly trying to help her out
  • Jake and Gina have been besties since the auditions so they start trying to help each other get their girls
  • aaand let’s not forget Doug Judy
  • aka Jake’s ex-best friend from high school, they used to be the baking bros and use cupcakes to pick up girls
  • until one day they were going for the same girl, so they both made stuff to impress her, and she said she preferred Jake’s but then Doug took the credit for them, and took her to prom only to stand her up
  • Jake has never forgotten and never forgiven
  • hasn’t made cupcakes since, too painful, too traumatic
  • which really fucks him up when they get a cupcake challenge
  • seriously like imagine him trash talking Judy and then they announce “cupcakes!!” and he does his melodramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • (you decide if he manages to nail it and beat Judy’s cupcakes yet again, or if he totally botches it bc nerves)
  • anyway at one point Jake gets the coveted Holt Handshake and he is so elated his entire life has just been made bc he has been watching the show for years and idolises him so much
  • Amy is the same and she is so horrifically jealous until Holt tries her food next and also gives her a handshake and then her and Jake just look at each other like “WHAAAT”
  • Jake comes over after and is so excited he just gives her this real big hug and it’s really Pure bc then he gets super embarrassed and awkward but she is like “oh no, he’s so cute, help I have been specifically Not Noticing That” 
  • I have no idea who wins but Peraltiago and Dianetti and Holtzner are all in love and happy at the end

basically what I’m saying is can someone with the adequate baking and GBBO knowledge please write this AU I need it desperately

the signs as people from my university
  • Aries: That girl who loves partying and socializing with people, she's a fangirl of so many buffed-up singers and she's so pretty. She's kinda judgmental and she's homophobic but she follows so many gay people and likes their posts and nobody in my generation really understands why. She can be really impulsive sometimes and she hates classes but she's a good friend and a funny person
  • Taurus: That girl who is always late, she has social anxiety and she's silent af. Grades are not her forte'. She tries to socialize very hard and everyone is annoyed by the fact that she tries to discuss things that she really doesn't know shit about. She is afraid of some professors, she is christian af and she is kinda lost, but she's a good girl who believes in the supernatural and she always invites us to coffee at her place
  • Gemini: The girl who loves spending time with people, she always loves to discuss about every topic, she knows so much about many things, she's doing great with her grades and she's among the top 5 students in the entire generation. Also, she has PERFECT, sonorous American accent and everybody loves it. She always initiates coffee gatherings but nobody really comes because she's not that much of a leader and her voice is so soft so nobody could really hear when she's talking. She's also a passionate gamer AND in the same time she finds time to maintain her grades and social life
  • Cancer: That (jock) guy who's the tallest one, he's blonde, buffed-up and he's the definition of a straight white boy. He's childish as fuck and he can become very boring sometimes. Once, my colleagues have shooed him out of the cafeteria because he was bothering them. He also tells so many stupid dad-jokes and laughs at his own jokes, flirts with some professors, has been single since forever (not that he's ugly - he's average looking but he's so much boring sometimes because he doesn't have any real friends and he gets excited about people so he doesn't know WHEN to stop). He literally flirts with every single female human being that he can find and he pushes them all away because he's pushy af. He's also introverted and doesn't really know his way with girls
  • Leo: That girl who's one of the top students in the generation. She's always smiling, she has the best grades, she always tries to present this "perfect" image of herself. She is very intelligent and she loves reading, she gets drunk like every second day but that doesn't stop her from maintaining her perfect grades. She's very successful and she's a good leader, she knows all the fresh gossip and she always sits in the first row with her best university friend. In fact, she and her best uni friend are hated by everyone because they're just so successful and everyone's jealous of them. She also secretly hates everybody and gossips with her best uni friend. She and her friend have tons of screenshots ready to blackmail people if anyone says anything against them lmao. But everyone (every zodiac sign) in this generation pretends we like each other so...
  • Virgo: That professor who's VERY detail-oriented and she's a big perfectionist but she can't fix her awful handwriting. She's very successful and she has TONS of potential, she literally KNOWS EVERYTHING about her subjects but sometimes she can really drain us physically and emotionally. She gives us tons of assignments and homework and she always gives us lectures on the most difficult courses. Jfc she behaves like we study in Cambridge / Oxford. But don't get me wrong, she's NOT a bad person. She's actually a VERY good person and at the end of each semester she buys us coffee and tea, she talks with us about our experience with the course and she just wants us to learn some things that we should learn, that's why we perceive her as "difficult" and "problematic"
  • Libra: That girl who loves hugging, has great communication skills and is a social justice warrior. She thinks that she's everyone's friend and she always tries to criticize everyone's opinion, thinking that she'll seem and sound more intelligent. She also listens to rock and metal, she loves children and she smokes a lot, she's very sensitive and she's very friendly. Once, on the Facebook group of the university, she tried to accuse Pisces of something he didn't do and he literally ruined her in front of all those people, that was one of her biggest mistakes she's ever done in uni because she didn't know that that guy can be pretty evil when someone tries to insult/hurt him. The next day in uni she was on the verge of a mental breakdown because that guy really hurt her with his words, making her look stupid and pretentious, and everybody stopped talking to that guy for like, a month or two
  • Scorpio: That girl who's late in class 90% of the time, and those 10% she's not present in class. She is very quiet and she doesn't show particular interest in anything. She doesn't have a taste in fashion and style, unlike most Scorpios that I know. She just wants to go home all the time and nobody knows what she's doing in her life, she's so mysterious and she's not a good teamworker because she doesn't really care about her grades
  • Sagittarius: That girl who can't stop talking and she's always arguing with someone but we all love her. She's very communicative but she's insecure at the same time. She has tons of likes on Facebook and Instagram. She's a VERY open-minded girl, she hates racism, homophobes, nazi scum and racists. She's a really good friend with Leo and Pisces but Capricorn is her bff and her roommate. She has an excellent taste in fashion, style and music and she has S_L_A_Y_I_N_G eyebrows. I think that she's bi/lesbian but maybe she's closeted. She always hugs Capricorn and gets beaten by Capricorn because Capricorn can't stand people touching her
  • Capricorn: That girl who loves vintage notebooks, loves taking studyblr photos and uploads them on tubmlr and Instagram, she loves journeys and we haven't heard her talking for THREE GODDAMN YEARS. She is very antisocial and introverted but she has excellent taste for art, film, music and she's like 24/7 on her phone because it's obvious that she can't stand most of us but she's always sweet and supportive when someone approaches her. Sometimes she doesn't want to talk and she just smiles as a response. She's Sagittarius' best friend and roommate and they've became really close friends. She also loves journeys and she's a daydreamer but she's very intelligent. Her grades are not that good, she's not an attention whore and she tries to be "invisible" but she simply can't
  • Aquarius: That guy with his cockney accent who has insane memory and loves football. He's actually a loner, he's a bit creepy and weird, le loves britpop and indie nd he was one of the best students in the first two years of uni but his grades dropped. He's like, very secretive and he can be pretty arrogant and you just can't sit next to him because he's telling jokes all the time which takes your attention away. He is a loner and once he publicly told us that he used to have cyber sex with his girlfriend because she lived in another country and they've never met in real life (I mean, who tells such things omg Aqua get your shit together). He tries to insult people and he tries to be sarcastic but he can only be sarcastic with the stupid ones. He also thinks that he's a know-it-all and that he's the most intelligent person in the world. He can be really judgmental sometimes and he pushes people away with that
  • Pisces: That guy who always sits in the first row with his best university friend and is one of the top students in the generation. He's also a model, nerd, gamer, works out and whatnot. He is sweet to everyone and talks to everyone but he can be very sassy at times. He was the one who had a verbal fight with Libra because Libra triggered him and he destroyed her verbally. He's really skinny and dreamy and he has a very deep voice and an excellent taste in fashion and style. His style is kinda dark and he's so aesthetic. He listens to some music that no other people in the world listen to but he also listens to some mainstream music. In fact, he listens to whatever he wants and he doesn't really think about what other people think about him. He tends to roll his eyes a lot and he cares about his physical beauty more than he cares about his love life. He's too egotistic and self-centered and he's extremely picky, which makes him single most of the time.

anonymous asked:

Theory: Chloe redemption would be so distinctly ~her~ that as much as she enjoys fighting akumas with LB, a girl just can't leave her hair and nails undone! So Chloe would just be so tired of her appointments being cancelled by akuma attacks. . .

… She just learns to keep quiet so she could actually make it to a manicure because, girl, fighting super villains takes a TOLL, and … Yea …

see that’s the kind of redemption arc i want. chloe becomes a hero, but she is still so completely chloe. i love that idea up there xD

  • like chloe would be a fucking brutal, bad ass superhero and put her heart and soul into the fight but god forbid she breaks a nail 
    • queen bee: *kicking an akuma’s ass* *suddenly stops and screams in horror*
    • ladybug: oh my god, are you okay?
    • queen bee: NO im not okay i just chipped my fucking manicure
  • she always asks the team if they can reschedule patrols that don’t happen during the new episodes of “the bachelor”
    • “i can’t be behind im gonna get spoiled on twitter and i’ll fucking kill someone if that happens”
  • she’ll purposefully get someone really angry and hope they get akumatized so that her test next period will be cancelled
    • marinette keeps trying to explain why she can’t be doing that but chloe doesn’t get it
    • “we learn more about hawkmoth, another civilian is saved, and i have an extra 24 hours to study for math. find me one flaw with this.”
  • she tries to sneakily drop hints to her father that queen bee and volpina should get a statue too
    • “you know. not that i care or anything. just for….symmetry. and accuracy and all that. got some preliminary sketches of the queen bee statue. again. not that i care or anything”
    • “very important to get the nose right daddy don’t mess that up.”
  • post-reveal situation, chloe’s is hands down the best at coming up with believable covers for her teammates 
    • adrien’s taking forever to recharge his kwami and get back to class and the teacher’s wondering where he is
    • chloe: “the poor darling’s been modeling so much lately that he pulled a muscle in his neck after gym classes, really awful business, he was in the nurse’s office during the entire akuma attack, he should be on his way back.”
      • chloe *texting adrien*: there’s a forged nurse’s slip in the boys bathroom, go get it. also, walk in like you have a stiff neck. don’t ask. just do it. 
  • she low-key supports chat’s idea of having a miraculous hide out for the four of them
    • “daddy knows a guy that can make it happen with no questions asked i just need to make the phone call.”
  • she flat out refuses press interviews unless she has a full face of makeup on
    • “queen bee! an interview for the – ”
    • “darlings, i really would, but it’s seven in the morning, i have no concealer on, and there’s no way im appearing on camera. go talk to ladybug.”

thegirlwhocriesice  asked:

Au where Lance really can't stand his real last name. So he faked paper for the grasion with last name McLain?

I’m so sorry for the lateness of this! This prompt was given to me a long, long time ago and I just only got the um…inspiration to write this? I’m so sorry!

A little bit crossover to KHR since I made this into a MafiaAU of sorts. Note that most or all the things mentioned here (aside from the names they are not mine) are purely from my imagination and should not be taken with any ounce of seriousness.


Lance loved his family with all his heart, never question him about this or you will find yourself with a bullet stuck to any part of your body. What he didn’t appreciate was the part of the society he was born in. more specifically, the dark part of the society he was born in.

The Salazar Family was one of the best known Mafia family in the underworld. Who would not heard of them when they were one of the allies of the strongest Mafia, the Vongola? Being allied with the Vongola also meant that they were associates with the Chiavarone, Simon, Giglio Nero, and Millefiore just to name some of the big names. There was never a peaceful day for Lance for everyday was either spent on training or learning the ways of the world and how to survive in it.

The only lucky thing that Lance could consider was that he was not the eldest, thus exempting him from being the next heir for the family. It was unfair to be happy about this, especially that it was his reluctant older brother who got stuck in that position, but the part that wanted to be free weighed more in Lance’s heart. So at the age of 16th, Lance made a proposition and have the full support of the Vongola Decimo. The Salazar’s Don was a bit reluctant to agree in erasing Lance’s existence in the Mafia world (and that Lance was one of their best strategists) but just one look in his son’s eyes, one full of hope and passion in achieving his dreams, the Don gave his blessings also.

So Lance Salazar, third son of Don Salazar, became Lance McClain, an ordinary boy living with an ordinary family.

Forging documents and family background was just a piece of cake in the underworld and in no time, Lance was already attending the Garrison where he hoped his dreams to be a pilot as an ordinary guy would come true.

Of course there were times where his Mafia side got to the surface and times where he wished he could just contact the family and disposed someone for him. But because he ‘cut all his ties’ with the Mafia it also meant that he had no right to contact them anymore (though sometimes one or two men of his father will come to check up on him.). Why did he want to hire a hitman to eliminate someone? Well, there was this guy called Iverson who seemed to make it his life goal to make Lance’s life as miserable as possible. Always pointing out his flaws and implying that all the documents proving his intelligence were all fake/forge.

He could easily kill Iverson now that he thought about it. He was trained to do such things after all ever since he learned how to do complex Math and covering up the evidences was like slicing an apple with a sharp knife. But then the reason he left the world he was initially born in was to escape all the bloodshed. Only heaven knows how much of those bloods were caused by him even if most of them were all in the act of self-defense.

So he tried his best not to let those words of depreciation got stuck in his head (but most time he believed some of it.)

Then the next impulse to hire a hitman was when Lance started to get compared to a genius student named Keith.

Out of curiosity, Lance checked out this Keith guy. Yeah, he was an awesome pilot and combat but that was the only things that Keith was good at, at least that was how Lance saw it. He was never good at socializing and could not really hide his intention despite having a poker face. Keith would be a dead guy if left alone in the underworld.

Lance wanted to show how smart he was but Iverson already put a lot of bad words in his name resulting for no one to take him seriously. If he did something jaw dropping then majority would just accuse him of cheating because ‘hey, this is Lance! No way he did all of that in his own!’.  Being called as Keith’s replacement was not the most flattering words his ears could hear also.

Being caught in an intergalactic war and stuck in a castle with three and a half humans (Keith was half-Galra after all), two Alteans, space mice, and five sentient robotic lions was just like being trapped inside the Mafia world all over again.

Physical training, strategy making, forming alliances, Lance was tempted to call Voltron as space Mafia. He didn’t know if it already registered in the mind of others but they now have blood in their hands. It didn’t matter if it was an enemy they were killing. Life was life and they were not different to other soldiers of war.

Great, now Lance has human blood and alien blood staining his hands.

He thought about this every day.

Until one day, a sudden fact entered Lance’s mind that ended up with him laughing hysterically during breakfast. Everyone was looking at him like he had lost his mind (he probably had a long time ago).

“Lance, buddy, are you okay?” Hunk was about half way from standing up before Lance waved at him to indicate that he was fine.

“Don’t worry, Hunk. I just…pft! Ahahaha!”

Now Shiro was the one with worry creeping on his face. Was Lance having a breakdown? Was the war they were suddenly thrust in now taking its toll in their Blue Paladin’s mind?

“Lance, I need you to take deep breathes and talk to us.” It was hard but Shiro needed to ensure the health of his teammates even if he was being a hypocrite right now.

“Nah, I’m fine, Shiro. I just remembered something.”

“And that is…?” Lance didn’t know who asked that but he happily answered.

“Iverson is dead meat. Actually, he will be lucky if they will allow him to have a quick death. But knowing my family, I am sure they will torture him first.” Lance resumed eating his breakfast with a bright smile and as if he didn’t said something deeply disturbing.

“Wait, what?” Keith narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean by that.”

“Mullet boy, never cross my family.” That was the only answer Lance gave and it did not satisfy the curiosity of his teammates.

Sure, Lance was not a Salazar anymore and that his surname was now McClain. It didn’t mean though that he was already cast out by those he shared with the same flesh and blood.

After all, blood was thicker than water most of the time.


I don’t really know if I did the prompt some justice (>_<)

Langst Mini Fics

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Jungkook’s B-Day Message to Suga

Suga Hyung, even though you’re usually like a grandpa, you’re really cool on stage or when you’re working on music.
It’d be nice if you were like that when we’re practicing choreography but anyway
I think you’re a hyung that I can learn a lot of things from
And I don’t know where you got all of your miscellaneous knowledge from but I respect it a lot, I’m jealous
I have to write a lot for this but honestly I don’t have much to say ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
I’m thinking about writing a letter to the ARMY and I think that’s a good idea, I’m kinda dope
I’m making this right now without having even eaten, everyone
It’d be nice if you all liked this ㅜㅜ
How and where should I start?
First off, the WINGS Tour that starts with Suga Hyung’s birthday on March 9th, has begun!
You all know that we’re always thinking about all of you ARMYs even when we’re far apart, right?
So just wait a little more, okay? We’ll visit the fancafe and work hard to stay active on SNS! And we’ll take care of our conditions so that we don’t show you guys any bad sides and come back well!
Ah and we’ll take a lot of selfies ㅎ
And… We’re taking cameras! So please look forward to that because our emotions might be caught on camera.
And I’m going to work out diligently when I get there
Please cheer me on from afar so that I can get muscled up!
And! Also! Did I not start playing the drums?
So I’m going to practice a lot so that I can play the drums well on this tour!
I’d probably learn a lot faster and stuff if there was someone teaching me by my side ㅜㅜ But I’ll still try hard
Wow I thought I wrote a lot but there’s still so much left?
Anyway, I love you, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll come back safely!!! Don’t worry!!! Aren’t I Jeon Jungkook? Aren’t we BTS??!!?!!?! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
For a moment I forgot that this was a celebratory video for Suga Hyung’s birthday
Ah isn’t there anything more that I can say to Suga Hyung… Suga Hyung probably won’t look at the words coming out right now because it’s troublesome? Right, everyone, you think that? Then should I write a little more comfortably?
Ay, Suga, this hyung-ah wants to convey a few things to you through this video
You’re good at music, have deep thoughts, got a lot of knowledge, think about the team a lot, you’re perfect! But!… Everything is good, but! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall is good, but!!!!
Good, but…
It’s good… ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
It’s all good, and really, happy birthday and let’s run hard for our BTS and ARMY from now on, as well. It makes me tear up when I see you perform on stage on hyung’s skinny, skinny legs. I respect you
Dilligently do lower body exercises… Take your vitamins…
Wow this really doesn’t fill up, what should I fill this up with
ARMY I love you ARMY I like you ARMY is mine ARMY I heart you
Ah thank you so much for liking “We Don’t Talk Anymore”!!!
I felt really good because you all liked it. It was great
I’ll continue to sing you great songs in the future. This feeling drives me to do more covers
Really, thank you. We don’t have that many lines left! Let’s cheer up!
It seems like it’d be nice to end this with song lyrics. Let’s shout two three everyone
Hoping for more good days, if you believe what I say, then
One, two, three
If you believe me, then one, two, three
Hoping for many more good days, if you believe what I say, then
One, two, three
If you believe me, then one, two, three
Suga hyung and Bangtan and ARMY
I love you!

anonymous asked:

What would the guys do if they hear their crush say "me? who would like someone like me?" because they can't believe anyone would like them

Aw nonnie this is a sad/cute one. I hope this is alright! 

Noctis:

 - Noctis would be able to tell you were feeling a little glum, and when you had a few precious moments alone, he’d ask you what was wrong.
- You would try and brush it off at first, it’s not like you want to burden him with something like that…
- But this would just make the prince feel a bit useless, he’d really want you to confide in him. 
- You’d take a big sigh, and finally tell him. You feel lonely. You feel like a bit of a spare part. Everyone was settling down, even Noctis had his marriage to Luna. But you were just left on your own, as always.
- “Hey, don’t be so stupid.” 
- Stupid? This would anger you, you just confided in him like he asked and he calls you stupid?
- Noct would see how irate you were getting, and instantly feel bad.
- “Wait, that’s not what I meant!” And it honestly wasn’t. When will this boy learn to deal with his feelings and say the right thing?
- “Sorry that I’m bothering you with my stupidity Noctis.”
- “Look, that isn’t what I meant by it!”
- He panics that he’s really screwed this up.
- “Sure! I’m just whittling away for nothing!”
- “Well, yeah because-”
- “I should just get used to it.”
- “What?”
- “I mean, who would ever like me?”
- “I would!”
- There would be silence as you digest what Noctis had just said. 
- “You…? But what about Luna?”
- Okay, now his heart is racing.
- “We are friends, good friends, but this arranged marriage… It isn’t for me. Look, I’ve been trying to tell you… I, well, like you.” 
- His eyes sink to the floor and he plays with his arm band nervously. Now it’s calmed down he is self-conscious and can’t believe he just blurted that out…
- You’re stunned. Noctis… liked you? 
- He finally looks at you, unnerved by your silence
- Damn, have I really over stepped the mark this time?
- “Noct… you like me?”
- You can see little splashes of red colour his cheeks as he answers.
- “Y-yeah I do… is that okay?”

 Prompto:

- Prompto would be heading towards the tent one night, after you had disappeared for a while. He was starting to get worried as to where you were!
- As he gets closer to the tent, he can hear your voice… He doesn’t want to intrude if you were on the phone. Though, it didn’t seem like you were…
- He listens for a bit. He knows he shouldn’t, but he just can’t help it. There was just something in the tone of your voice that made him stay, a little twinge of something like… sadness?
- “I’m not like Cindy, or Aranea, I’m just…not.”
- They are definitely talking to themselves. He realised.
- And then you said it. 
- “But really… me? Who could ever like someone like me?”
- It’s almost like you could hear Prompto’s heart crack.
- No. No no no no.
- He recognises the pain in your voice, he understands the self-doubt, he knows it all too well.
- Before he could stop himself or even think about what he was doing, he’d push open the tent flap and take you in his arms.
- There are tears pooling in his own eyes.
- “You should never, never have to feel that way. Not you. Not someone like you.”
- It’s hard to hear him as his voice is muffled, his face buried in your neck. His grip is tight, and he can’t even think about how forward this might be because he just has to make sure you know you’re loved.
- “I like you, I like you, I like you.” He can’t say it enough.
- His words warm your heart.
- You both sit like that for a while, just holding each other until the tears stop. 
- He pulls away, and gently whispers; “It’s you. It has been for a while now. I really like you.”
- You can hardly believe your ears. 
- Still holding you, he looks you in your eyes still wet with tears, now smiling a little sheepishly.
- “So… what do you say?”

Gladiolus:

- Prompto would be chatting away about Cindy, as usual, and you would roll your eyes.
- “Tch, she’s pretty lucky.” 
- Gladio would hear your mumbling, and fall behind the other three to walk with you instead. 
- “Hey, what’s that?” He’d ask, friendly as always.
- “Well, it’s lucky Cindy has someone to feel that way about her.”
- Gladio would raise his eyebrows in surprise and a little in doubt as well.
- “I’m not so sure she sees it that way.”
- “I guess, but at least she knows she’s wanted.”
- By now the other three guys are just a blip in the distance, walking back to the regalia.
- “What do you mean by that?”
- “Well, just that I’d love to be in her shoes. It’s not like anyone will ever feel that way about me.”
- Did they really just say that?
- Suddenly his strong arm juts out in front of you, preventing you from walking any further.
- You look at Gladio in shock, to see that his jaw looks clenched and he looks kind of… angry.
- “Gladio…?”
- “Is that what you truly think?”
- You nod, unable to do more and he finally looks at you.
- “Then, you don’t realise how crazy I am about you.”
- Your heart skips a beat at his words.
- “H-huh?”
- He retracts his arm now, standing up to face you.
- “Why else do you think I always let you fall asleep on me in the car? Because I love the way you feel in my arms. Or when I always ask you for help setting up camp, it’s because I really enjoy your company.”
- He would stand in front of you now, the familiar smile you know and love back.
- “Honestly, these past few weeks you’ve been driving me crazy, and then you say no one would feel like that about you?”
- He shook his head, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes.
- “Well, I’m telling you now, I do. You don’t have to like it, I’ll understand if you don’t and I’ll speak no more of it. I promise.”
- He tilts his head, fully smiling now at your astounded expression.
- “Well… are you alright with that?”

 Ignis:

- Ignis had noticed you’ve been seeming down lately, choosing to sit in the tent early or sitting in the back of the car in your own world.
- It really starts to concern him, he can’t fathom why you’re feeling this way.
- One night he brings you your food to the tent, seeing if you’re okay.
- You thank him a little despondently, so he sits down next to you and asks if you want to share what has been bothering you.
- Looking into those kind green eyes it’s hard not to start talking about what’s wrong. You knew Iggy was a great listener. 
- So you opened up a little to him.
- “I’ve been watching the others get closer to people lately, Prompto with Cindy, Noctis with Luna for example…”
- “What about it is bothering you?”
- “I don’t know. I guess it just sucks being on your own.”
- “Come now, you’ll meet someone who is just right for yourself.”
- He knows it’s true, even if it’s not with him. Though that thought hurts him more than he’d care to admit.
- You throw Iggy an incredulous look.
- “What? It’s true. You’ll find someone you really like.”
- Oh if only he knew.
- “That’s not the problem. The problem is them liking me. I mean, who the hell would fall for someone like me?”
- Suddenly Iggy’s eyes tighten, and he re-adjusts his glasses.
- He seems… annoyed?
- “Please, do not put yourself down like that. You’re a wonderful person.”
- Huuuuge eyeroll from you.
- “Uh huh, sure.”
- Here comes the generic ‘you’ll get there eventually’ chat.
- “I mean it.”
- “Really?”
- He’s persistent.
- “Yes, you’re funny, gorgeous, intelligent… anyone would be lucky to call you their partner.”
- Well… that you weren’t expecting.
- The fidgeting with his glasses is progressively getting worse, which is unlike Iggy.
- “Why are you saying all of this…?”
- “Because I…” He has to take a deep breath here!
- “I see you that way. And would definitely feel lucky to call you mine.”
- Your heart stops, you can’t believe what you just heard. And he’s looking up at you through those lovely long lashes, and you know he’s being serious.
- Oh my.
- “Iggy…?”
- “I’m sorry if this seems sudden, but please… I have to know how you feel about me.” His green eyes are gazing at yours.
- Oh my.