if i am the storm if i am the wonder

Writers

Writer says: So I had this crazy idea one day and I just had to work on it. Here ya go!

Writer means: So I had this crazy idea either right before getting in the shower or right before falling asleep so I grabbed my fucking laptop and shat all over it to create the steaming pile of crap that I now lay before you. I don’t even know if it’s good anymore. I haven’t slept in two days.

Writer says: Wow, real life’s getting busy! Sorry on the slow updates.

Writer means: My life is a literal storm of shit at the moment. Why did I decide to do this. Why am I still doing this. Everything around me is spinning out of control and I am staying up ‘til 5:30 in the morning every night to create a piece of work that will only get two comments and 12 demands for quicker updates. I hope no one’s mad at me, all I wanted to do was write.

Writer says: Wow! Would you look at that! I updated on time! Please enjoy!

Writer means:  WOOOOOOHOOOOOO BITCHES LOOK AT THIS PRODUCTIVE ASSHOLE GO YEEEEEHAAAAWWWW TAKE THAT YOU NASTY REVIEWERS ALWAYS DEMANDING ME TO BE FASTER! I GOT THIS SHIT I GOT THIS SHIT

Writer says: This chapter was a toughie. Glad it’s finally done!

Writer means: I don’t know if this is good or not. I honestly don’t fucking know. I’ve read the same words over and over and over again and I just couldn’t look at it anymore. My beta said it was ok but I’m not confident but HOLY SHIT I JUST NEED TO STOP WRITING THIS FUCKIGN CHAPTER.

Writer says: Thanks for reading!

Writer means: Please, oh please oh please oh please leave me a review. A comment. Anything. Please tell me you’re out there. Please tell me someone is reading this.

Writer says: I just want to say that real life is getting pretty hectic right now. Please try to be patient with me, I know you guys want updates. Thanks! :)

Writer means: FUCK. YOU. Who the fuck do you think you are, demanding shit from me?! You don’t know my life! I have a very busy life! I create shit for free, you entitled son of a pig-fucker! STOP LEAVING ME COMMENTS TELLING ME TO UPDATE SOON OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL PUKE ALL OVER MY COMPUTER 

Writer says: What’s gonna happen next? Who knows? Hee hee ;)

Writer means: I have no fucking clue what the next chapter is going to look like. What’s my plot? I don’t know. I feel no emotion.

Writer says: Please leave a comment! It helps me write!

Writer means: I am begging you to leave me a comment because I swear it’s the only thing that’s keeping me motivated right now, I hate the work I put out and I need reassurance that people are actually enjoying this.

Writer says: I hope you enjoyed that chapter, big things are coming up! ;)

Writer means: Buckle up bitches, someone’s gonna die.

Writer says: I know I’ve missed a few updates, but I swear I plan on finishing this story! 

Writer means: *high pitched eternal screeching*

Writer says: Here we are at long last! This has been one wild ride. I want to thank you all so much for your support and love, I adore each and every one of you. I am so happy to say that this story has come to a wonderful close.

Writer means: My body is numb. Voices call out to me from the void, but I can no longer hear them over the beating of my racing heart. I am stressed to the point where I feel no relief. The story is done. It’s fucking DONE. I loved it, I hated it, it was a fucking storm of horror and pain. I can no longer see color. Now I can at last relax and…wait……wait a second………..holy shit I just thought of the best idea for a one-shot that’s totally gonna turn into a 50 chapter slow burn AU fic leT’S FUCKING DO THIS

I am not an easy person to love. Some days I will whisper how beautiful you are while planting gentle kisses all over your body. You will giggle and try to fight me off and in that moment my heart will have never felt so light.

But other days when my mind is a storm cloud threatening to explode, I will be a bundle of emotions that I cannot quite keep contained. I will be cold, distant, and you will look at me like I am not the same person you fell in love with.

I am a broken light switch. My moods flicker without anyone flipping me on and off. I wake up each morning and wonder which me you will encounter that day. I always hope it is the one who makes you want to stick around.

I am not easy to love. But what I need you to understand is that whether there is a war raging inside of my mind or I am the kind person that you adore, I will always love you.

I will love you in the morning. I will love you when you cry. I will love you when I am angry. I will love you when you’re being stubborn. I will love you when I don’t even love myself. I will love you.

I know that there will be days when you want to give up on me but I am asking you, please don’t. You see, you are the only one who has been able to settle the storm inside of me before I even realize it is surfacing.

I am not easy to love but I promise that I will always put up a fight. And I will love you no matter which me my light switch flips on that day.

—  LC
Helpless (Reprise)

[Burr:]
How does a bastard, orphan, immigrant,
Would-be man of honor,
Ruin four lives to keep a legacy in its collar?
He lies about the story
So that he can die in glory
He paints himself as innocent
‘Cuz if people knew the truth,
How would his grievance seem legitimate?
Alexander left out details,
He basically impaled
Maria’s legacy in the chest,
When he thought it imperative
To blot out her narrative
But this isn’t my story to tell
You should hear it from the woman that went through hell

[All women except Maria:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
I was crying, I was shaking
I was weak and close to breaking,

[Maria and women:]
I was helpless

[Maria:]
I was dying inside while you wined and dined,
I was trying not to cry ‘cuz of the hell that I was going through
I can’t depend on you
‘Cuz my situation’s helpless

[Women::]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
And I stand here defenseless
You left me with him

[All women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
And you knew I was

[Women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
Yet somehow I’m selfish
For wanting to get away
Susan would be safe,
I’ll change her last name
she won’t have to face all this hate
I won’t let her be helpless

[Women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
For her, I’d suffer for the rest of my life
I’d suffer through this to make sure she’s happy to be alive
So I’ll always be


[Maria and Women:]
Helpless

[Maria:]
Am I doomed to an untold story?
Will they think I’m the villain in our history?
Or will fate be kind,
Will someone realize
That Alexander pushed the truth aside?

[Company except Maria:]
When you’re living on your knees you rise up

[Maria:]
Am I helpless?

[Company:]
Rise up

[Maria:]
Or can I rise above my situation?
Can I rise to the occasion,
Forget about the hate I’m facing,
The sky’s the limit,
Why should I care about his false declarations?
I don’t have to be

[Company:]
Helpless

[Maria:]
I broke my chains and took flight from hell
I don’t need anyone to tell my story,
‘Cuz unlike Alexander dying in glory
Is not my priority
Call me slut, call me whore,
But remember that I

[Company:]
Rise up
Rise up

[Maria:]
I rise like the dust
If my legacy is metal,
Then most would let it rust
I rise like air
So let them stare because

[Maria and Company:]
I rise

[Maria:]
From my pain
I am the storm, I am the rain
I’ve almost lost it all
So I’ll take what I have and keep it close
The ghosts of my past can’t get me
I’m standing up
I’m letting go
I won’t suffer in silence anymore
I don’t belong to anyone
I’m no one’s whore
I won’t be helpless

[Company:]
So I will rise

[Maria:]
Rise

[Maria:]
So Alexander,
You can write these lies

[Maria and Company:]
But still, like air, I’ll rise
Alexander

[Company:]
I will rise

[Maria:] [Eliza (to Alexander):]
I’m erasing myself from this narrative. (I’m erasing myself from the narrative)
My apologies Eliza (Let future historians wonder) 
I helped break your heart. (How Eliza reacted)

[Maria and Eliza (to Alexander):]
You think you’re so smart,


[Maria and Eliza:]
I hope that you burn
I hope the tide turns against you
I hope you realize it too late
You’ve changed the world, Alexander,
But there’s a million things I haven’t done,
But just you wait, just you wait
The world has no right to my heart
The world has no place in our beds
They don’t get to know what I said

[Maria:] [Eliza:]
I’m burning the memories. (I’m burning the letters)
That would have condemned you (That might have redeemed you)

[Maria and Eliza:]
You forfeit all rights to my heart

[All Men:]                      [All Women:]
I hope that you burn (There’s a million things I haven’t done)

[Full Company:]
Just you wait

(Well, that’s my song, I hope you like it!)

My insanity and temper got the best of me
and
I’m laying in bed wondering how I ruined the one thing I cared most about.
It always amazes me how such a gentle person can turn into a complete storm;
Destroying those around,
Breaking the ones they care about,
Demolishing relationships.
It’s like a switch is turned on inside me and within a matter of seconds I’m a completely different person.
I hate who I am
I want to be better
I’m trying.
—  j.n // 3:02 am
Open the Window (Goodbyes May 4th)

He hated this place. Of course anyone that isn’t walking out with a baby hates hospitals. The florescent lights, and the smell of cleaning products always put him on edge. He couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t a place of healing as much as a place where life ended. This was the place where his Mother died, and now it was going to take his Father.  

He walked in to the hospital room the soft beeping from the machinery and labored breathing were the only sounds. In the bed his father laid asleep. It was hard to see him like this. When he thought of his father he remembered the giant man that held him over his head, and let him mess up his hair and then would act surprised for him when he looked in the mirror.  Mark could hardly recognize the slim green figure in the hospital bed.  Garfield Logan was never a large man, but the cancer and its treatments had reduced him to less than hundred pounds. His once bright green eyes had sunken into his face. His hair once hunter green was now silver and thin like a threadbare towel.  

“Dad, Can you hear me?”

Garfield Logan’s eyes slowly opened.

“Mark?”

“Yea Dad” Mark forced a smile “how are you doing?”

“What time is it?”

“It’s about four in the afternoon”

“You got here at a good time. If I can get that window open I was planning  to take a fly across the bay.  I could use some fresh air.” His voice choked out.

“Sure Dad”  Mark agreed knowing that he hasn’t been able to change shape for the last year, and for the last month could barely walk.  

“Maybe instead I will turn into a mouse, go along the hallways, tell me do woman still wear skirts? I always liked a nice set of legs.” he said with slow creeping smile.  

“Dirty old man”

“And I am getting older and dirtier by the minute” he laughed. “The good thing about getting old it’s amazing what you can get away with. Most people just think I am confused or senile.  My body might be falling apart but I am as sharp as I ever was”

Mark could almost hear ‘Yea somewhere between pudding and warm cheese’  in his mother’s voice.  Marks parents were always like that,  always jabbing at each other, verbal sparring. You wouldn’t believe that they had been together since they were teenagers, and married for almost 50 years. One minute they were arguing, the next they would be in each other’s arms.

“Maybe you should stay in this afternoon, it looks like rain anyway”

“And Rae would be pissed if I went out and got a new girlfriend. Well since you’re here then I will” he consented. “Is Sam here? did you bring Rachel?”

“Just me this time”

He looked into son’s eyes “I am that close aren’t I?”

Mark couldn’t find the right words. The ones the doctors chose to use did not offer him any comfort. He couldn’t imagine they would help his father.  

“Mark I raised you not to lie to me”  he said taking his sons hand  "Also you are really bad at it, and I take that as a sign of good parenting"

“Hours, You might make it to tomorrow morning”  Mark said with his eyes closed as if saying them was going to kill him right then and there and he didn’t want to see it.  

“Good”

“Dad? No-” Mark started but his father waved his hand to silence him.

“My affairs are in order.  We have all known this has been coming for a while. In a way it’s been a blessing” He said clearing his throat.  "Do you remember when my friend Vic passed?  Had no will, it was an amazing mess for his girls I was not going to leave that for you and Sam"

Mark didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what he was going to say to his wife or his daughter, no matter what the Doctors had said the idea that his father was not going to be there just did not seem real. Till now.  

“Dad I really don’t care about your stuff-”

“Mark I am ready.” he stated. “This has been a good life but I miss your mother so much.” his voice was ragged “I can feel it, she is waiting for me. She’s probably going to be angry that I am so late.  So I am going to blame you.  She could never stay mad at you.”

He was still joking. Mark could almost see his father looking tough his memories like flipping tough a photo album in his head.  

“We are so proud of you, do you know that.”  

“You and Mom were heroes. You guys saved the world. I am just a guy that designs buildings”

“You listen to me.” He said a new hardness in his voice “My whole life has been about beating the odds.  I was not expected to live when that monkey bit me.  I spent my life putting myself in danger. I have taken on monsters and criminals and supervillains.  I have been shot, shocked, burned, stabbed, and beaten to a pulp. My back is a subway map of scars. I have taken on the Devil himself, and I got your mother to marry me.”  Another round of ragged coughing followed Mark wondering if he should get help but his father would not let go of his hand.

“But you were it Mark!  Your father has DNA alphabet soup your mother is half demon the odds of us having you was winning the lottery while getting hit by lighting. ” Mark could feel his father’s fingers tighten around his “You are the miracle Mark”

Another round of coughing came and a deep intake of breath.  

“We got the chance to raise you, see you graduate, see you marry Sam, have Rachel.” He pointed at his face “Look at me I am a shriveled green raisin. Do you know how many of the people I have worked with didn’t make it to 40?”  He closed his eyes and laid back into his pillow.  "On top of all that I got to spend nearly 48 years married to the love of my life. Trust me nothing tops all that.“

“I wish Mom was here. She would know what to do”  Make said quietly.  He could picture her there standing on the other side of the bed.  She would put her hands on her husband’s face and she would heal him. Just like she did for him every time he had a scrape or a bruise, or that time he broke his left arm after falling out of a tree.  If Mom was here she could fix this! Screamed in his mind.  

“No Mark” His father pulled him out of his head. “I wish she was here too, but this is my time.”

“I miss her Dad, I don’t want to lose you too”

“She at times was cold, impatient, neat freak and stubborn as a mule and I should know, I have been a mule. She was also strong, giving, her mind was as sharp as her tongue. ” His eyes eased closed  "She was truly extraordinary and I miss hearing her voice. I can close my eyes and see her in her chair in the bedroom a book in her hands. She would read to me. It was the first things we did that was intimate. It didn’t matter what it was or what language hearing her voice made my head quiet. She would let me lay in her lap as a cat, and stroke my fur and I would listen to her. When she found a passage that got her interested or excited I could hear it warming her words. It was almost as good as her rubbing my fur”  

“Mom was the neat freak?”  he asked  

“Every time I leave my socks on the floor, or a dish in the sink I can hear her scold me. Even after she passed.” He laughed “I would sometimes do it just hear that.  But I kept the place neat, like she kept it, it made it easier to think she was going to walk through the door again. You know sometimes I would brew up a pot of that tea she loved just to smell it. ”

“I make that tea sometimes. Rachel likes it. She not going to understand this.”

“Children don’t understand death, I am an old man and I barley understand it. ”

“Yeah, but I thought that was because you’re not that bright.” the words slipped out of his lips.  He was going to apologize but his father’s chest started shaking with laughter.  

“You are your mother’s son!” Came out between small chuckles. “Tell Rachel that I am going to be with her Grandmother, that we both love her, and she can have the old game station”  

“My daughter lover of retro video games”

“My son the real hero of the family that keeps stone age technology running.  Also tell Sam that the library is hers, You mom loved having a daughter in law that loved books as much as she did.  I know she will take good care of them”  

“I should have brought them…”

“No, I don’t want Rachel to remember me like this, and she is going to need her mother. Sides I wanted a word with my boy.”

They just sat there quietly, Mark holding onto his father’s hand.  

“Mark?”

“Yea Dad”

“Open the window”

Mark was frozen statue still not sure what to do.

“Mark trust me just open it,  the air is stale in here, all I can smell is my old sweat and antiseptic I want to smell the ocean, the rain, please.”  

Mark knew that look in his eye.  It was the look he had when he was going to do something nuts.  It was the look he had when he pulled him out of school so he could introduce him to the Green Lantern.  It was the look he had when he would show up at the house unannounced with toys for Racheal. Or that he and Mom were just going to pick a direction and go and be gone for weeks sending pictures back from their latest adventure.

He also knew that when his father made up his mind about something he was committed.  Mark knew that if he didn’t open that window his father would find away.  He got up slowly and walked over to the awning window. The pane of glass hinged only on the top was meant only to let air in it only opened a few inches.  He stood there taking in a deep breath, taking in the scent of the storm that was brewing outside.  

“Much better” Garfield breathed.  "Thank you Mark"

“Dad, you need anything else.”

“Could you go find that Nurse, the young blond one.” Garfield said with a smile.  

“Dad?” he asked wondering if he was making a joke.

“I am serious, my left leg is doing that thing again,  she will know what I am talking about.”

“Ok” Mark said reluctantly as he left the room to go to the nurses station. He found two older woman and a young man. None of them knew about a blond nurse working in the ward.

When Mark came back to his father’s room the bed was empty. The window was still open and the staff had no idea where he had gone.  Mark didn’t know what to think. That somehow his father was now flying over the water? Or maybe Mom had come to get him.  History will remember Beast Boy the green hero that could turn into animals.  Mark and his family will, remember Garfield Logan a husband, father and grandfather who made bad jokes, gave his granddaughter pony rides and loved his family fiercely.  

“Your late”

“Mark’s fault!”

“No its not, you got too caught up playing with Rachel.”

“I couldn’t help it. She’s cute, and she takes after her grandmother.”

“She had you wrapped around her little finger. ”

“So did her grandmother.”

“Azar,I missed arguing with you.”

“Mama take me home, and please don’t leave me ever again”.


This was a story that has been sitting with me for a long time. I was going to do the other prompt from this but when I wrote it out if felt forced. Also this is also my first attempt at something that is not pure fluff. I like to think of these characters as real people. Well real people die, I would like to think they would after a good long life with a happy family. That is why I do love these fanfics, we get to add or expand the facets of the characters that might not be explored in the books or cartoons.  Also I think that is why that years later why were still writing about them, these were not cookie cutter characters designed to sell action figures, they had depth. 

instagram

I am the storm and I am the wonder
and the flashlights, nightmares and sudden explosions.

Made with Instagram
and what are you supposed to do with all of that heaviness that’s resting on your chest? what are you supposed to do when the person you love is the one draining you of all your blood? you can’t walk away, your bones simply won’t allow you to. i was already three feet into the coffin, the shovel was right beside me, i was getting ready to burry myself so deep no one could find me, i was ready to place my hands over my chest and take my last breath. what are you supposed to do when your body is lifeless, a walking shell of the person you once used to be? do you know how it feels to cough up gun powder in the middle of class only to excuse yourself so you can be a bomb somewhere else? its destructive. you don’t want to hurt anyone but here you are, making everyone else suffer right along with you. everything becomes destructive and threatening and you lose yourself. you lose everything that makes you feel like a human being, you start to doubt that you’re even alive. i used to catch myself sitting in silence, counting my heartbeats. is this really right? am i really alive? sometimes i wonder how my heart can still be heard from inside of the coffin, its morbid. sometimes i think my hearts been massacred, maybe my soul has been torn apart and scattered across the entire universe. sometimes i think i see my heart bleeding across the sky, i see my tears as the raindrops, i understand why its been storming so much lately.
—  metaphors about a pain you can’t write out
He’ll Find His Way Home

Originally posted by mertcannn

Author’s Note: This is a Jax Teller imagine based on Still Breathing by Green Day a requested by a wonderful Nonny, and imagine number two for MMW day 1. This imagine is rated T. Hope you all enjoy!


He’ll Find His Way Home

-XX-
I’m like a child looking off on the horizon
I’m like an ambulance that’s turning on the sirens
Oh, I’m still alive
I’m like a soldier coming home for the first time
I dodged a bullet and I walked across a landmine
Oh, I’m still alive

Am I bleeding? Am I bleeding from the storm?
Just shine a light into the wreckage, so far away, away

‘Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
My way to you
-XX-

‘I’m on my way home Everly, I promise.’

The voice mail plays on a loop in her head and she tries desperately not to look at the clock. It’s been nearly forty-eight hours since Jax left that voice mail and there’s been no sign of him and though no one has said it out loud, she knows that she isn’t the only one whose worried.

The worry plays out in different ways; Gemma’s incessant need to bake, Clay’s silence, Chibs’ usual slow to anger trigger has become dangerously short and having found herself on the receiving end of said anger she finds herself going out of her way to avoid him.

“Hey lass,” Chibs’ voice breaks through her thoughts and jumping she turns to find the older man standing behind her. His hands are tucked in the front pockets of worn in jeans, and because she can’t bring herself to look at him she stares at the scarred boots he wears. “Everly, look at me.”

Taking a steadying breath, she lifts her face and finds him smiling, a soft, genuine smile he seems to only reserve for the women of SAMCRO.

“I owe you an apology lass,” he says and when she shakes her head he reaches out to her, closing callused hands over hers. “When I’m an ass I can admit it, and I was an ass. I’m just worried about Jackie…”

“I know Chibs, we all are,” she says offering a shaky smile as she turns her hands over under his, and anchoring herself to him she allows herself to feel the first honest feelings she’s felt since Jax went missing. “I just want him to come home.”

“I know lass,” he says pulling her close, and when he presses a kiss to her hair she closes her eyes and holds on. “Jackie will find his way home, he always does.”

-XX-
I’m like a junkie tying off for the last time
I’m like a loser that’s betting on his last dime
Oh, I’m still alive
I’m like a son that was raised without a father
I’m like a mother barely keeping it together
Oh, I’m still alive

Am I bleeding? Am I bleeding from the storm?
Just shine a light into the wreckage, so far away, away

'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way, away, away…
-XX-

As Jax walks he spits blood but he keeps moving. Every step he takes puts distance between him and them, and the more distance there is the better. He got off easy, and he knows it. What he doesn’t know, and what he isn’t ready to face just yet, is that someone in his club, one of his own Brothers, sold him out.

The whole time he was held it was thoughts of Everly and his boys that kept him going, and he winces. Not from pain but from the realization that Everly is probably crawling the walls, and reaching into his pocket he pulls his phone from his pocket, groaning when he finds the screen shattered.

“Go figure,” he hisses to himself as he shoves it back into his pocket. He knows where he is, lucky for him his new found ‘friends’ had the decency to drop him not too far from town. So, he just keeps on walking.

::

“I’m going to call the police,” Everly’s words draw the attention of every person in the room, and everything goes to quiet she wonders how no one else can hear her heart pounding against her ribs. “I know what you are all going to say, and honestly, I don’t care. Jax has been gone for three days now. Three days. No calls. No texts. No signs. This is beyond me. Beyond any of you.”

“I don’t think we need to be getting the cops involved sweetheart,” Clay’s voice is the loudest dissenter and Lord knows she is not at all surprised.

“Why? Because you know where he is? Because you have something to hide?” she demands ignoring the sharp intake of breath from beside her. She knows that Gemma is staring at her like she’s grown another head, but she can’t find it in herself to care. “Your VP is missing and you sit here like it’s nothing, in fact Clay, you look pretty well rested for someone so worried…”

“That’s enough!” Clay explodes causing her to take a step back, but she’s satisfied by what she sees, and she knows by the looks on the other guys faces that she’s on the right track. Clay has something, if not everything to do with Jax’s disappearance.

“I’d say so,” Jax’s voice fills the clubhouse and she swears she feels her heart drop into the pit of her stomach and turning she stares in disbelief.

Jax stands, dirty and disheveled, but he stands nonetheless. She looks past the blood, past the bruises and when he smiles at her, she shakes her head.

“Jackson,” she hardly every uses his full name but when she does he knows he’s in trouble and when she launches herself at him and she tries to pull away when he winces, a hiss of pain escaping his lips he just holds her tighter. It seems like forever before she finally manages to step away, and cupping his face between her hands she offers a watery smile, only to be pulled away so Gemma can fawn over him.

“Where the hell were you?” Gemma asks running a hand over his hair and when he catches her wrists in his hands, shaking his head a sense of dread fills Everly.

“Why don’t you ask Clay,” Jax demands.

“Jax, what are you talking about?” Gemma asks him as he turns his attention to Clay who stands fuming and flustered.

“Clay was the only other person who knew where I was going Mom,” Jax says, eyes narrowing on the older man he’s thought of as a father for so many years, wondering where along the lines he turned into the monster he sees now.

-XX-
As I walked out on the ledge
Are you scared to death to live?
I’ve been running all my life
Just to find a home that’s for the restless
And the truth that’s in the message
Making my way, away, away

'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way, away
-XX-

He lets himself into the house and shrugging out of his Cut, Jax takes the time to hang it. He sent Everly home hours before while the club talked things over, and though they’ve come to no conclusion on how to handle the things that are coming, he’s satisfied with the progress they made; but more than anything else he’s happy to be home.

Slipping down the hall he peaks his head into the nursery, and finding the boys asleep he smiles softly before making his way to the room he shares with Everly and leaning against the door way he watches her. She’s curled on her side, red hair falling in her face as she sleeps, her face pillowed on one hand while the other lays outstretched on his pillow. She wears one of his shirts, and something inside of him stirs when she shifts and the shirt lifts a little higher on her thighs.

“I didn’t think you were coming back,” her voice is soft, drawing him from his thoughts, and pulling the shirt over his head, he drops his jeans at the door and climbs into bed beside her. She slides easily into his arms, fitting against him as no one else has before or ever could, and letting out a contented sigh he buries his face into her hair.

“And leave you alone to deal with my Mother?” he tries for light but when Everly’s shoulder shake he knows he has to let her ride this one out and that’s exactly what he does. He holds her as she rides out the near constant waves of emotion, until finally her face turns into his neck, her lips pressing against his skin, and with his touch soft he tips her face up, and with a soft smile he brushes his fingers along the skin of her cheek.

“You and the boys were all I could think about while I was gone,” he says, and brushing the hair from her face, he presses his lips to her forehead, trying to smooth away the lines of worry etched there. “I was coming home to you, no matter what it took.”

“I know,” she murmurs and when she rests her head against his chest, letting out a shuddering sigh he knows the worst of it is finally behind them.

-XX-
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way, away
My way to you
-XX-

I feel like I am the only witch who DOESN’T like storms…We are under ANOTHER flood warning and have storms on the way - tons of yellow and red on the radar, and I am over here feeling my anxiety just increase and increase…wonderful…I was gonna do something for the full moon tonight but I may end up stuck on my couch :(

What a beautiful day. I am grateful for the healthcare practitioners that dedicate their lives to healing others and helping our lives be more comfortable. I am amazed at our bodies! And now a storm is rolling in. Just beautiful.

“Open your eyes to the beauty around you,

Open your mind to the wonders of life,

Open your heart to those who love you and always be true to yourself.”

~Rumi

rileymcdaniels  asked:

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE AS STOKED FOR MARTHA WASHINGTON IN SEASON FOUR AS I AM!!! most of my tweeting during the renew turn tweet storm was "I FUCKING WANT MORE MARTHA WASHINGTON GIVE ME TO HERRRRR" bc wow wo w wo w w o w the woman who plays her is such a babe and it's just wonderful and ian kahn is SUCH A DUMB MAN WHO MAKES TENDERNESS SHINE OUT OF HIS EYES LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT

And I”m super excited that it looks like we’re going to get some super domestic Washington. We always see him with his I Am Leading This Show hat on, so to speak, and - I know I don’t have to tell you this - but the idea of the guy that Washington is after he takes that hat off, the guy that wants to go home and sit under his vine and fig tree and play with his dogs and take walks along the Potomac is just fascinating to me. 

The I Am Leading This Show guy can’t show fear. But the other guy? The other guy can be terrified – and he can’t tell a soul. Except, of course, his wife.

Lightning

I’m sitting on my front porch watching the lightning light up the sky

I do not know what events led me to this moment but here it is and it is so beautiful.

I try and forget the last time i was soaking wet from the rain was because of you.

I forget that the lightning is dancing beautifully at my feet.

I want to taste the rain but instead I am tasting this menthol that again, reminds me of you

And I am wondering if some day, some distant day from now

If I will ever forget that you and I happened

That this is my life now

With this empty piece of me where the welding came undone somewhere deep inside of my chest

I watch the rain fall down and the thunder sends a booming inside of my heart that would have once sent me running back into your arms

But I am learning to run to myself instead.

Even More Kallus Headcannon’s

Because for some odd reason these are my most popular posts, have some more Kallus headcannon’s!

  • Zeb’s fur get’s on everything and Kallus is not afraid to get very vocal about it
  • Zeb vehnomently denies it
  • Kallus call’s Ezra ‘Jabba’ still just because it drives Ezra nuts
  • Soon Zeb starts doing the same
  • Kallus was the first to make a joke about Kanan being blind, much to the horror of the rest of the crew
  • Until Kanan starts laughing at it
  • Kallus is surprisingly knowledgeable about the Inquisitors (mainly from him working with so many)
  • At first Kallus doesn’t sleep to well for fear of what Chopper might do to him. 
  • At first, Kallus didn’t want to tell anyone the story of how he got his bo-rifle but eventually (after a lot of pestering from Ezra) he finally tells the Ghost crew. 
  • Kallus is highly amused by Sabine’s painting of Ezra and Zeb.
  • One day Kallus finds Sabine painted one of himself and Zeb right next to Zeb and Ezra’s. 
  • Ezra complains that it looks way cooler then his
  • Kanan helpfully says he thinks they both look great
  • Zeb will beat up anyone who tries to tell him Kallus is a double agent working for the Empire and Kallus is touched and a little surprised. 
  • After awhile the rest of the Ghost crew feels the same. 
  • Kallus likes to sleep in his uniform with his bo-rifle nearby so he’s ready to fight at a moments notice
  • Kallus and Rex at first argue constantly over good battle tactics until they eventually settle their differences and start working well together. 

Aaaaand that’s it (for now you know me). And to those of you wondering why I haven’t posted any angst for the angst off…..just wait. This is just the calm before the storm

anonymous asked:

but why did ya have them in your life in the first place? they must have been important enough to not completely say goodbye? I am sorry I am asking so many questions, but I am going through something similar right now and its really playing on my mind

Of course they were important to me at the time. But I was also a different person myself back then. To put things simply, I don’t want them in my life anymore. I still wish then love and wonderful things.

I don’t know what you’re going through, or if this was of any help at all. But clouds part ways after every storm and no one holds it against them. Neither should we.

So as everyone knows I am back to this profile but I see I have a few drafts that I didn’t pick up on! I deleted a lot that weren’t on tumblr anymore and I’m left with these. I am MORE than happy to reply to them now I am back but I just want to know if you still want me too. Just let me know please you wonderful people?

@lcvinne - Sif in Camelot Thread 

@swordbearingmaiden - I have a starter from you but can’t find on your page but I have it in my drafts. Not sure if you remember it?

@theboatbuilderswife - Saving Helga Thread

@the-storm-within-me - Taking Interest Thread

@nefariiam - Theres one I have on ours in my blog but can’t find on your profile :)

Hey there everyone!
My name is Maxamelia, and I’m the new Conjuror Pluto!
My main witchcraft blog is @maxthedeathwitch and as the name suggests I am a death and storm witch.
I have been working with spirits my whole life and independently working with them in my own practice for about 10 years now. I have a wonderful spirit family, which is currently waiting on 3 new members! My astral life is rich and wonderful, and true to my practice I interact with many storm, dragon and death spirits.
I have helped many spirits find forever homes, and very happy to be at it again. I am very proud to be joining Aphelion Spirits!

Hogwarts House - Quotes Part II

~*~*~*~*~*~

Slytherin: “It’s okay to be sensitive to something, just don’t let the feeling own you.” - “You know who’s gonna give you everything? Yourself.” - “And what is the word for knowing your bones are made of midnight?” - “I don’t take well to being broken.” - “We all have one foot in a fairytale, and the other in the abyss.” - “You’re not sorry to go, of course. With people like us our home is where we are not… Not one person in the world is necessary to you or to me.” - “The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.”

Ravenclaw: “A well-chosen book saves you from everything, including yourself.” - “You need to be content with small steps. That’s all life is. Small steps that you take every day so when you look back down the road it all adds up and you know you covered some distance. It took me a long time to accept that, but it’s true. You need to have patience.” - “As long as I live, I’ll hear waterfalls and birds and winds sing. I’ll interpret the rocks, learn the language of flood, storm, and the avalanche. I’ll acquaint myself with the glaciers and wild gardens, and get as near the heart of the world as I can.”

Hufflepuff: “know this: you can start over, each morning.” “To separate oneself from the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter everyday. To say I am alive, I am wonderful, I am. I am. That is something to aspire to.” - “Just for carrying on, really. Sometimes, my darling girl, that’s heroic in itself.” - “She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went. It’s easier to feel the sunlight without them, she said.” - “I think of rivers, of tides. Forests and water gushing out. Rain and lightning. Rocks and shadows. All of these are in me.”

Gryffindor: “Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do—now.” - “Never quit. If you stumble, get back up. What happened yesterday no longer matters. Today is another day. So get back on track and move closer to your dreams and goals. You can do it.” - “Courage is one thing that no one can ever take away from you.” -  “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” - “Remember her hair in the morning before it was pinned, black, rampant, savage with loveliness. As if she slept in perpetual storm.”