if he is ugly... what does beautiful mean

andreil: flower shop au (iii)

part one, part two

  • the cats and andrew become best freaking friends and they get so many flowers from him
    • they’re at the point where it’s not just flowers
    • he also gets them toys even tho they like never play with them ever
      • “if ur going to have cats at least give them proper entertainment” he says to neil, who is so baffled by a stranger buying toys for his pets

Keep reading

Mistaken Love

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader/Sooyoung

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 2736

Masterlist |Request

Originally posted by jinkooks


The only thing a girl desires is that someone loves her like no one has ever been loved before. There is nothing else a girl wants from life..

In your eyes he was everything. Whereas in his eyes, you were nothing but this shy girl who wore glasses, looked ugly and walked around his house like a stranger.

Yes, you lived with him. And yes, you were married to him. But that didn’t change the fact that he ignored you like you were a ghost or the fact that he never said something when his friends made fun of you.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

“What? You’re marrying that girl?!” Jimin asked with his eyes wide open.

Looking annoyed, Jungkook glared at Jimin. “Yah! Does it look like I want to? My family forces me!”

Laughing hysterically, Jimin started clapping. “Wow, what a beautiful story! The little prince is marrying the ugly duckling.”

Throwing the first thing that was near him to Jimin, he glared at him again. “Stop laughing or I’m going to punch you in the face. Besides that doesn’t mean that I’ll stop seeing other girls. Marrying that ugly duckling won’t change anything.”

Offering Jungkook a glass of whiskey, Jimin sat in front of Jungkook. “You admit that she is ugly?”

Turning toward Jimin with an ‘duh’ look, he flicked his forehead. “Yah, are you kidding me? Have you seen her? Those glasses, the way she dresses? It’s…disgusting!”

Little did he know that you were standing by the door, one hand holding your wedding cards that you wanted to show him and the other formed in to a fist, nails digging in to your palm, listening to their conversation.
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Even though you were married to him for five months now, the only thing you two talked about was how he wanted to divorce you. Well, he talked, you listened.

You loved him. Even though he ignored you, hated you, and cheated on you in front of your eyes, you loved him. Pathetic, right? But you wanted to be loved too. You wanted to feel special, important and beautiful.

So, one morning, when you were preparing breakfast for him, you saw a piece of paper in his hand. It was an entry form for a dance competition. Knowing how much Jungkook loved to dance, you remembered the address and decided to sign up for that competition.

But not as Y/N however as Sooyoung.

Yes, you decided to change your image, your name, everything. It was stupid, you knew that. But you wanted to spend time with Jungkook and knowing that he hated the real you, this was your only option.

That’s why you went to your best friend and asked her to change your image. Transforming you into someone that not even you yourself could recognize, you went to the address.

Smiling a little bit when you saw the building, you went in. The practice room was full with people who where talking to each other. In order to find Jungkook, you started walking around. Right when you thought you found him, the dance teacher started talking. He introduced himself and talked about the competition.  

“Pshh, okay! First of all, welcome to our dance competition. My name is Seokjin and I’m going to be your dance teacher for these next two months. All of you are aware that you’re dancing with a partner, right? So please, open the piece of paper you received at the entrance and try to find your partner with the number you’ve got. The person with the same number as yours is going to be your partner.”

Taking a deep breath, you opened the piece of paper. Number 1. Everyone was walking all over the place while shouting their number. You looked up and tried to find the person with the same number. Hoping that it was Jungkook, you started walking around.

All of a sudden you heard someone shouting ‘number one’, ‘number one’ and turned around. It was him, your husband.

Walking slowly toward him, you stood in front of him and took a deep breath. “Number one?”

Looking at you, he nodded. “Number one.”

“Nice to meet you, my name is Sooyoung.”

He smiled and grabbed your hand and placed a little kiss on it. “And my name is Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook.”

Smiling at him, you looked away and took another deep breath. This was the first time he kissed your hand.

While you were lost in your thoughts, you heard your dance teacher talking. “Okay guys. I assume you found your partner. Now, I want you to show your dance skills to your partner.”

Turning toward Jungkook, you crossed your arms in front of you and raised an eyebrow. “Let’s see what you’ve got, Jeon.

He chuckled, leaned to your ear and whispered. “Don’t be shocked.”

Leaning back, he winked at you and started dancing. You noticed, he looked very happy while dancing. You knew that it relieved his stress and made him feel better.

Panting a little bit, he looked at you. “Let’s see what you’ve got, Young-ie.

Chuckling at the nickname, you started dancing. One thing nobody knew about you was that you were really talented in dancing. This was basically the only thing you did at home while you waited for Jungkook to come home. And yes, Jungkook has a dance room in his house.

While dancing, you saw from the corner of your eye that Jungkook was watching you with his mouth open and a little smirk on his lips.

Originally posted by eatupbangtan

Seeing the way you danced and swayed from side to side, he couldn’t believe that he got a good partner like you.

When you were done, you raised an eyebrow and smirked. “And?”

Lost in his own thoughts, he mumbled. “Beautiful..”

“What?” You asked, shocked.

Shaking his head, he smiled at you. “That was pretty good.”

“That’s it for today everybody. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Your dance teacher announced.

Walking toward your bag, you put your stuff in it and walked toward the door. Suddenly, you felt a grip on your wrist. Turning around, you saw Jungkook.

“Would you like to drink a coffee with me? We could talk about the moves we want to add in our dance.”

“I’m sorry but I need to go home. Maybe next time?”

Smiling a little bit disappointed, he nodded. “Okay I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Nodding, you waved at him. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

When you walked out of the practice room, you started running. Jungkook would be at home in 30 minutes and you needed to shower, make dinner and the most important thing, change back to Y/N.

Jungkook couldn’t find out that the Sooyoung he met today was his wife. So, when you arrived at home, you showered in basically five minutes and started dressing yourself the way you normally would. Removing your contact lenses, you wore your glasses and put your hair in a messy bun. Baggy clothes and voilá, the one and only Y/N is back.

While you were setting the table, Jungkook walked in, kinda lost in his own thoughts with a little smile plastered on his face, and sat down at the table. Placing his plate in front of him, you asked him. “Are you okay? You look happy.”

He looked up at you and answered with an annoyed tone while eating his food. “None of your business.”

Sadly, you looked down at your plate. This was the real you. This was your reality. You were desperately in love with him whereas the only feeling he felt toward you was hate.


It’s been a month since you were living this life of Y/N and Sooyoung at the same time. Sometimes it was hard, really hard. Seeing Jungkook being happy with another woman was not easy for you. Well, he wasn’t with another woman, he was with you but he didn’t know that.

Till now, everything went the way you planned it. You hung out with him as Sooyoung, you danced with him as Sooyoung, you ate and drunk with him as Sooyoung. Everything he did was with Soooung. And today, after practicing your masterpiece, you decided to confess to him.. again, as Sooyoung.

“Jungkook, today, it’s my turn to show you something special.”

Placing his arm around your shoulder, he looked down at you with a smile. “Is that so?”

Smiling up at him, you nodded. “Yes, I’ll show you someting really special. Something, that means a lot to me.”

“Wow, now I’m curious. Let’s go then.”

Driving to the place you arranged everything, you took his hand and brought him to a place which was kind of abandoned and told him to stay in front of a wall.

“Okay, you stay here. I’ll be right back.”

After seeing him nod, you started walking behind the wall. Counting from three to one, you pushed the button in your hand and on the wall appeared the writing ‘I’m in love with you, Jeon..’

Peeking out of the wall a little bit, you saw Jungkook looking around for you.

Originally posted by plbangtanvkook

He was shocked, you could see that. Walking toward him, you smiled at him.

He spotted you and started talking. “W-What is this, Sooyoung?”

Flicking his forehead, you whispered. “It’s my love for you, Jeon. Did you not like it?”

“I-I like it but I-I need to tell you something. I’ve made a huge mistake. I should have told you that I’m a married man, Sooyoung.”

Shocked, you looked at him. “W-What?” You were not shocked about the fact that he was married. You were shocked about the fact that he mentioned you to Sooyoung. Not even once did he talk about you in this past month. But seeing that you were somewhere in his mind was really unexpected.

“O-Okay, but you never mentioned her in this past month, why?”

“It’s a little bit complicated, Sooyoung..”

“O-Okay..”, you placed your hand on his cheek. “I just wanted you to know how special you are to me. And don’t worry, nothing has changed between us. We were friends and we will remain friends. The only difference is that you are married and I will get married somehow someday.”

When you were done talking you looked up at him. He was staring at you with an shocked look.

“Is something wrong, Jungkook?”

“How can you be so positive and happy? How can you love me without expecting love in return? Don’t you feel pain in love?”

Confused, you looked at him. “Pain? Love is a gift, how can there be pain in love? It’s simple, you love your wife and I love you. Don’t worry about me.”

All of a sudden, Jungkook started shaking his head. “No.. No, I don’t love her..”

Bang.

With those words, your heart broke into little pieces..

Looking into your eyes, he started talking again. “I had shut all my doors to love. And then you came along, laughing, singing, dancing. And declared ‘I love you’. From you, I learnt what true love is. That there is no pain in love. You awakened love in me once again.. The love, that I had killed within me long back. Why did you come in my life, Sooyoung? What do I do now?”

“Run away with me.”

Shocked, he looked at you. You on the other hand continued talking.

“If you are not happy with her. If you don’t love her then come along with me. Not everyone gets equal happiness in life. Maybe with me, you can find your happiness.”

While saying these words, you were hurting really bad. He never loved you, not even once. He was unhappy with the real you. He hated Y/N..

“Tomorrow, after the competition, let’s run away.”

Slowly he started nodding his head. He never loved you, Y/N..


Today was the competition. And you decided to attempt it as Y/N, not as Sooyoung. Last night, Jungkook walked into your room and sat down on your bed. For the first time, he started stroking your hair. Your hair, the real Y/N’s. Well, he thought you were asleep maybe thats why he found the courage to do so. He leaned toward you and whispered ‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m really sorry..’

And that was the reason why you decided to come as Y/N and not as Sooyoung. You wanted to show him the reality.

Soon, it was your turn. The couple on the stage was almost done dancing and Jungkook was searching desperately for Sooyoung around the room. When the couple was done, the audience clapped and the MC announced Jungkook and Sooyoung’s name. Jungkook was already standing on the stage and was looking around.

Then, everything went black. You walked toward him and got in your position. One hand on his shoulder and the other holding his hand. When Jungkook realized that you came he sighed and whispered. “Finally, you’re here. Where were you, Sooyoung?”

Standing in the darkness, he didn’t notice that Y/N was standing in front of him, not Sooyoung. When the music started playing, the lights went on and when he looked up he saw you, Y/N, in front of him.

Shocked, he stood still. “W-What are you doing here?!” he hissed.

Not answering his question, you started dancing the first move. Jungkook, on the other hand, tried to register everything that was happening right now.

“Start dancing!” you whispered.

Confused he started dancing. Where was Sooyoung? Why was he dancing with his wife? How did you know the steps? What was happeni- Oh.

All of a sudden, he started remembering the things you said and have done. That was the reason why you left early every time after practice. In order to be able to change your image. This was why you looked kinda happy. Because you could spend time with him. It was not Sooyoung he fell in love with. It was you, Y/N..

While he was lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even realize that they were at the last move of their dance. Preparing himself, he leaned you backwards and looked you in the eyes. Everyone stood up and started clapping. Staying like that, he waited till the curtains closed.

Standing straight now, he whispered. “You’re a liar. You lied to me!”

“J-Jungkook, look-”

“Everything was a lie!”

“J-Jungkook-”

“How easily did you turn my sadness into joy. How quickly did you change my anger into happiness. I never, not even once gave you one drop of my love. Whereas you over flooded me with yours. How can you love me so much, Y/N?”

Shaking your head, you felt the tears rolling down your face. “Thats not hard. Even though you were forced to marry me, I believe that it was our fate that brought us together. We were meant for each other. Loving you is my destiny, Jungkook. When I see you happy, when I see you laugh, I’m happy. Only through you, I have learned that love demands nothing.” Taking a deep breath, you looked into his eyes. “Jungkook, I respect your decision and if you want to divorce me-”

All of a sudden, he leaned forward and kissed you on your lips. “I love you, Y/N. And I’m sorry, I’m really sorry for everything that I have done to you. I’m really-”

Standing on your tiptoes, you reached out and kissed him on the lips like he did seconds ago. “I love you too, Jungkook.”


“And the winner of this competition is…. the couple Jeon Jungkook and Kim Sooyoung.”

Standing there on the stage, you started hugging Jungkook. “We did it Jungkook! We won!”

Jungkook leaned back and whispered into your ears. “Wait here, I need to do something.”

Walking toward the MC, he whispered something into his ear. Walking back toward you, he wrapped his arms around your waist.

Suddenly, the MC started talking again. “I’m sorry, I announced the winners wrong. The winner of this dance competition is Mr. and Mrs. Jeon! Congratulations!”

Looking up at Jungkook you saw him looking at you cutely. 

Originally posted by kthmyg

He leaned toward you and kissed you on your forehead. “Thank you for loving me, Y/N.”

anonymous asked:

Hi :) If you're not too busy could I please give you a request? Its from 10 Things I Hate About You, where Kat tries to get Patrick out of detention & lifts her shirt. The reader feels bad that the boys are in detention because of her (maybe they defend her from some Slytherins, its up to you). So she decides to help them out (by getting them out of detention or something) & in the process gives them an eyeful. lol. And you can decide how the Marauders react ;) Thanks so much :)

I LOVE THAT MOVIE!! That scene is iconic hahaha

“Are you kidding me,” you said in frustration as a sharp tapping on your window woke you up from what would have been a long, well-deserved nap after the week you had.  An owl was flapping on the windowsill, anxious to get inside.  Sighing, you got out of bed and opened the latch, shivering when the owl flew in and brought a gust of wind with it.  You untied the letter, rather, the tiny scrap of parchment tied to the owl’s foot and let it help itself to a couple of Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavor Beans on your nightstand.

“Y/N–

Stuck in detention with Carleton.  Cleaning the bathroom w/o magic.  1st floor, help!

-M, W, P, P”

You read the note again and couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image of your four best friends scrubbing U-bends and trying to figure out how to snake a drain.  Leave it to them to get in trouble with the new professor before even Halloween.   Professor Carleton had taken over the Care of Magical Creatures position so Professor Grubbly-Plank could spend a year doing research in Montenegro–apparently there was a new species of hinkypunk there that needed classifying.  

Carleton was middle-aged and fair as teachers go, but he assigned homework every day whereas usually in Care of Magical Creatures lessons, all work was done hands-on.  It was him you had to thank for your exhaustion this week.

As much as you’d like to crawl back into bed and pretend the owl had never arrived, you knew you owed one to James, Sirius, Remus and Peter.  They’d gotten you out of a tight spot last week when some of the Slytherins thought it would be funny to have an owl deliver you Devil’s Snare.  Luckily the package had arrived in the middle of the day while you were in the courtyard with the boys, and they quickly brought you to Professor Sprout, who was livid that someone had stolen from her greenhouse and straightened you out right away.

“Fine,” you muttered to yourself.  You didn’t know how you were going to get them out of such a strenuous detention, but maybe you could just distract Professor Carleton long enough for them to slip out the door. You threw on your robes and hurried out of the tower, completely forgetting your wand in the process.


“Professor?”

“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor Carleton said, facing you with mild surprise as the four Marauders’ heads flew up behind him at the sound of your voice.  You stifled a laugh–James had toilet paper stuck to his shoe, Sirius’s sleeves were soaked up to the elbows in Merlin-knows-what, Peter stopped in the middle of wrestling a plunger out of a toilet to smile at you and Remus simply waved from where he sat on the ground, wringing out a graying sponge.  “I’m afraid now’s not a good time if you need to meet with me…perhaps later this evening?

“It’s important,” you said hastily, locking eyes with Sirius and then glancing pointedly at the window behind him.  He got the message and gave you a thumbs-up.  “I’m still working on the essay you set that’s due tomorrow, and I wanted to clarify whether red caps are actually cognitive or if they just lure people astray out of instinct.”  It was a silly question, all magical creatures have cognition, but with any luck Carleton would have a lengthy answer.

He raised his eyebrows and leaned against one of the stalls as he thought.  Behind him, the boys had carefully unlocked the window.  “Well, their actions are based on instinct to some degree, but such behaviors as dyeing their caps with the blood of their victims is purely choice, so to answer your question, yes, they are fully aware of what they do and the choices they make.”

You had written essentially the same sentence in your essay already.  The window creaked loudly as Peter opened it wide enough to hop out onto the ground a few feet below.  

“But Sir!”  you said loudly as Carleton began to turn around to see what the noise was.  “Does that mean then that they also perceive beauty standards?  Since, you know, they’re disgusted by their appearance when someone hits them with a Beautification Hex?”

Again, the professor raised his eyebrows, but this time he looked annoyed.  “You’re the best in my class, Miss Y/L/N, surely you already know the answer to that.”

“W-well,” you stalled, tapping your foot anxiously as Remus gave Peter a leg-up.  Couldn’t they get a move on?!  “If they hate looking beautiful, then that means they think our idea of ‘beautiful’ is their idea of ugliness.  So they must have their own standards–” you gasped as Peter slipped and Carleton almost turned around again but you coughed loudly and he stopped.

“Are you quite alright?”

“Yes, sorry, it’s just the–the fumes in here!”

“Then perhaps you should go, and come by my office later if you’d like to continue this discussion.  I, in the meantime, have a detention to administer…”

“WAIT!” You shouted again, starting to panic.  All but Sirius had snuck out the window now, but you could see their faces pressed against the glass to make sure he got out safely.  “Um, uh…” If only you had remembered your wand, you could Confund him!  Wincing inwardly, you did the next best thing.  You hooked your thumbs under your shirt and pulled it up, smiling apologetically as your teacher–sweet Merlin, your bloody teacher!–started at your chest like it was a magnet to which his eyes were immediately drawn.  It was like a bad broom crash–he didn’t want to keep staring, but couldn’t look away.  You gave it five seconds, which was enough for Sirius to escape and for all of the boys to run away, then pulled your shirt down and bolted.  

You met the Marauders out on the courtyard and they fell into step with you, determined to get as far away from the castle as possible right now.  

“That,” Remus said breathlessly, “was incredible.”

“Yeah, and getting us out of detention was nice too!” Sirius said with a wink.  You rolled your eyes with a suppressed smile; you hadn’t meant to flash them too, but you’d seen their eyes widen from outside the window right before they ran.

“Nice ‘red caps,’ Y/N!” James joked.

“Will you stop acting like a second year who’s just seen his first pair of tits?” you laughed, and the boys chuckled sheepishly.

Remus smirked.  “I mean, for Wormtail that’s pretty accurate!” he teased, and Peter blushed crimson.

“Oh please, they’re just nipples, you all have them,” you quipped.  Sirius looked surprised, as if this fact had only just occurred to him, and subconsciously rubbed his chest in wonder.   You shook your head amusedly; there were bigger things to worry about than your friends seeing you topless–like facing Professor Carleton in class the next morning.

“Think you could help me on that essay later?” Remus joked, and held up his hands in surrender when you shot him a look.

“I think I’ve helped you lot enough for one day.”


Cait :) 

Monster

By Indiana

Characters:  Jonathan Crane

Synopsis:  Evil is a choice.


 

There was once a boy with a monster beneath his bed.

The monster was cold, and dark, and he knew not its intentions; he knew only it had appeared one night when he arrived at home and it had not left.

He feared it, as he feared all things, and so he made no motions against it.  He slept o'ertop of it and it slept below him, and it came to be nearly comforting, as is a nightmare one has seen so many times one knows it through from beginning to end.

The boy climbed into bed one night and his eyes were awash with tears; from its cold and ebony corner the monster asked in a gentle and cloying whisper, “Child, why do you cry?”

The boy startled and pressed his trembling back against the post, and his lips spread open but he did not speak.

“Tell me, child,” the monster said, more gently and more cloying than before, “why do you cry?”

The boy was a-feared and shook his head, and his knees were drawn by clasping fingers to his thin chest.  And again he did not answer.

“Fear me not,” the monster said, “for I wish only to help.  Tell me, child: why do you cry?”

Well, this did not change much, for none had offered to aid this boy before and so he was distrustful.  But he sniffled and ran his fingers beneath his eyes and answered, “I cry because the children at school tease me.”

“That is unkind,” the monster said.  “What have you done to deserve as such, my child?”

“I have done nothing,” the boy answered.  “They tease because my limbs are too thin and too long and too clumsy.”

“Ah, but they are wrong to tease,” the monster said to him, “for do you know what your future holds?”

“I do not,” the boy answered, and he did not want to know but he was too afraid of not knowing.

“Your limbs are thin so that you may move with ease, my child.  And they are long so that when you are older you may look down upon all those who belong below you.  And you shall learn grace, when the time comes, ah, they will speak of your firm steps and your raised head!”

That all sounded wonderful to the boy, and he released his knees and leaned forward, and his hand trembled against the crumpled blanket.  His voice was small and craven as he asked, “Can that be true?”

“It can be,” the monster soothed, “if you wish it.”


 

Every night when the boy came home, the monster rested patiently; sometimes it spoke and sometimes it did not.  Upon a night when he lay crumpled beneath the blanket and his mind would not come to rest, he whispered, “Are you there?”

“I am always here,” the monster soothed.  “What is it, child?”

“The children tease again,” the boy said, his voice timorous and hesitant, “and I can see no better future in it.”

“In what, my child?” the monster asked.

“They tell me I am ugly,” the boy answered, and his fingers clutched tight the blanket and his toes curled into each other.  “There can be nothing good in the future about that!”

“Oh, but there is,” the monster said assuredly.  “You shall know their true intentions without deceit, my child.  Others who are more sightly than you shall fall victim to those who care only for their looks, but you! you are luckier than you know, for idle flattery will never beguile you.  Your face does not hide what you are within, as so many do, and you may know now that a pretty face serves only to hide the ugliness behind it.  Beauty is a trap that shall not befall you.”

The words were reassuring, and settled his spirits, and the boy closed his eyes and slept.


 

There came a night when he was a little older, and he sat at a desk of splinters with his stained textbook lit by a bulb muted beneath a spotted shade.  The words before him held no meaning, for his mind was troubled.  And as always he did at such times, he asked, “Are you there?”

“Indeed I am,” the monster said.  “What is it?”

“I have no one to call my friend,” the boy answered.  “I have no one to do projects with, or with whom to trade notes, or to laugh and talk with.”

“Oh, how lucky you are!” the monster said.  “For there is little use in friends, my child.  A friend is only a person who sees in you what they lack in themselves, and if you were to have one it would be you who was lacking.  No, you need not friends, my child, for you are more than enough for yourself.  What you cannot yet do you shall soon learn.”

The boy folded together his hands and regarded the shadows on the wall, and he felt the truth of it.  And when he looked again at the page in front of him, it promised he could continue on unaided.


 

When he was a little older there came an eve where he returned home dejected, and his bag thudded to the floor as he set onto his bed with his face behind his hands.  And he felt the cold touch of the monster beneath him, and it asked,

“What is it, my child?”

“There was something at school I wished to attend,” the boy answered.  “I asked a fair lady if she would accompany me.  She agreed to do so, but when we arrived I discovered it was all in deceit! for when we arrived there she abandoned me and left me to find only teasing and ridicule.  I cannot go back.  I cannot face any of it again.”

“You can!” the monster snapped, and for the first time since he was very young the boy was a-feared of it.  He drew forth his face from his hands and asked,

“How?”

“You shall do as I’ve told you.  You shall return with your head high to look down upon them, for they are below you.  You shall walk firmly and with grace, and you will do no such foolish thing again.  A woman is worse than a friend could ever be, for a woman will try to mold you as her own.  She will never take you as you are, and she will say you are not good enough, but know this: you need heed the words of no one.  You are greater than any woman could ever cause you to be.”

“But will I not be lonely, with no one to share my life with?” the boy asked. 

“People try only to cause change,” the monster said.  “You will find you have shared too much of yourself before too long, given too much to them in return for too little, and you will know where you misstepped but you will be unable to go back.”

This was an answer of which he was unsure, but he knew not how to verify.  And yet he did not like the thought of fracturing himself, piece by piece, for the sake of some other.  No, he would find comfort in his own company.  Better that he had the advantage rather than any other.


 

He grew older, and needed the advice of the monster less and less, for he was coming to know the answers to any questions he may have had.  Still it stayed with him when he moved into a new room in a new state, where he set upon the beginnings of his adult life.  He returned to his room upon the conclusion of class and sat upon his bed, and his fingers were woven together and his eyes pensive.  Finally, he ventured, “Are you there?”

“What is it, my child?” the monster asked.

“I fear I will be unable to complete my degree,” the boy said, “for I cannot find a professor willing to work with me.  When I show my work to them they ridicule me and call me a fool.”

“Then you must make them,” the monster said. 

“And how am I to do so?”

“Think back to your youth,” the monster advised.  “When someone aimed to direct your actions, what would they do?”

“They would inspire fear in me,” the boy answered.  “Am I to make a professor work with me out of fear?”

The monster needed not answer, for he had already risen to regard some manner of papers on his desk: his work, consisting of many countless hours of research on that emotion which had plagued his youth.  All to whom he had shown this had scorned him, had waved him off and said there was no practical application with which his formulae to induce fear could be used… but it seemed there was.


 

The years wound on and the boy became a man, fully, and there came a night when he returned home with his spirits asunder.  He set upon the chair before his desk, and he thought and he thought.  Finally, he said, “Are you there?”

“What is it, my child?” the monster asked, and the man wove his fingers together and said,

“I have taken action upon some who have wronged me.   I had had enough of their ridicule and their whispers and their disrespect, and as they did not seem to know the truth of me I showed it to them.”

“As you should have,” the monster soothed.

“I came upon something I did not expect,” the man continued, and his shoulders were hunched together and his knees pressed against each other.  “You see, in revealing to them the truth of me I realised it was the first time I had seen it myself.”

“And what did you see?” the monster asked.

“I saw that I am more than I allow myself to be,” the man answered.  “You see, continuing my work will always be a struggle, a battle against those who do not understand it.  I may spend my life fighting a great deal and end up with very little.”

“And what will you do?”

“I will become something others are afraid to be, and I will admit a truth others are afraid to speak of themselves,” the man said.  “I will become the force God or nature intended me to be.  I shall not hide from it anymore.”

“Then go forth,” the monster said, “and show yourself who you are.”

And the man nodded to himself and stood.

 


 

There came an evening when the man stood in front of a pane of glass, adjusting his clothes as he put them on for the first time.  The dusky reflection of his visage showed no expression, and he was glad, for he preferred when none could read his face.  One could not prevent what they could not see.

He fingered the limp and roughened brim of a hat woven of straw, and as always there was that coldness that had come when he was a boy and had never left.  Indeed, as the long years had gone by it had only grown, had only enveloped, had only settled, and he had come to welcome it.  Sometimes it filled the emptiness he knew not otherwise how to fill.

“It has been a great many long years,” the man said, and his voice was now calm and level and wise.  “You are a presence I have known without fail, and yet you stand always behind me, within my shadow.  I need not your advice anymore, for I know now how to care for myself, and yet I have one further question to ask of you.”

“Ask you may,” the monster said, “though you have become clever and I believe the answer already known to you.”

“Perhaps,” the man said.  “But I am a man of science, and such men must hear their answers in full for theories are easily quashed.”

The hat he now laid aside for a bundle of rough cloth that bristled against his skin when he touched it, and upon it he ran one questing thumb, back and forth and back and forth.  It was nothing just now, but once he took it up the way he meant to, it would become his face.  If not that it already was.

“Tell me,” the man said. “I have taken heed of your whisper for lo these years, and know as well as your voice I do the feel of you.  But I have not yet looked upon your face.  Why should that be?”

“Ah, but you look upon it now,” the monster purred.  “I am there now, in the slant of your brow.  I am in the downward curl of your mouth, and in the pointedness of your tongue, and in the cunning always present in your eye.  I have been there always.  You have seen me always.”

The man nodded slowly, for the answer was as he had expected.  The divide between them was not so great, and he had known for some time now.  There came no thought to turn back; he had interest now only in moving further down the path he had chosen.

“Once you don the shroud,” the monster whispered, “you shall breathe me in.”

He looked down at it, and the ragged face he had torn upon it, and he knew that the monster lived there too, inside of that dark interior.  And he did not mind.  That was as it should be.

And it was as it should have been, too, as he pulled it down over his hair and it pressed against his face, and when he had become accustomed to the feel of it he took up the hat in one scarred hand and set off down the road.

 


 

Author’s note

This is not about Jonathan having a split personality from Scarecrow.  This is about the times when we are wronged and we make the wrong choice because it feels better for now.  And in the future we discover the choice was wrong and we then have to decide whether to continue on as such or to learn better.  You can’t fight evil with evil without being evil yourself.  And when we do bad things, sometimes we blame them on others, or extenuating circumstances, but in the end one day we have to ask what the cause of those decisions really was and the only true answer is that we decided to act that way.  And so the monster Jonathan was listening to was all along himself.  The monster was his shadow self, the true self he let linger behind him as he pretended to be like everyone else, and when he accepts what he is he becomes his own shadow.

I. hate. you.

Do you hear me Malik? Hate. you.

For doing this to me…

“…Obi, when will you tell me how you got that scar?”

Obi freezes, mid-wipe of his blade. The table they are sitting at is packed with books, flasks, herbs, and he tries to avoid from the chaos by keeping his movements, and belongings, as small as possible. Gingerly, he looks at her, grin frozen. 

“Miss?” He asks, unsure.

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anonymous asked:

hey anna when will you bless me with some nikki rostov + any man content? thax

nikolai rostov, just like his sister, falls in love too easily– he only realizes that he is just as wistful and romantic and foolish as natasha when it is already too late. he always saw himself as the older brother, the wiser, but perhaps not. 

Keep reading

Words (Jaal x F!Ryder)

Seiki Ryder has a depressive episode and is comforted by Jaal. TW for cutting mention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Selki had felt it coming on, her depression and anxiety like a creeping stalker echoing her very own footsteps, its cold clammy hand gently grasping the back of her neck and just resting on it like a threat. She wasn’t sure what triggered it this time, whether her father’s death and brother’s coma finally became too much, her being made Pathfinder and fighting her father’s legacy, or even just her recent second death on the Archon’s ship and all the subsequent horror surrounding her there.

Whatever the reason, it now hit her like an asteroid and she was huddled in her bed, rocking back and forth while gasping for breath. For a while now she had been shifting between feeling like she was suffocating and not feeling anything at all.

She was ugly, she was stupid, she was useless, the Initiative was going to fail because of her, she wasn’t her father, her brother wasn’t going to ever wake up again, the Angara would realize their mistake in trusting her with anything. All these thoughts were beating inside her skull like it was some kind of snow globe and she was wishing that she really had died back on Habitat 7.

Her wrists were burning, old scars under the skin itching and remembered the short release she used to get as a teenager. Cutting hurt but it made her feel better, it would be easy to start again. She was already reaching for her scissors but stopped right before her fingers could brush the tip, her mother’s expression of horror flashing across her memory.

She had started cutting shortly after she learned of her mother being terminal and it was her mother who got her to stop when discovered, she will always remember making her mom cry that day.

Seiki took deep breaths and instead reached for one of her markers, as part of her recovery she used to write all the things she hated about herself on her body and then take a shower to wash away the words. It didn’t cure her but there was a form of catharsis watching the ink slide off her body, just so she could breathe again.

It was late and she should be able to get to the shower without being seen. Her sight was blurry and her throat hurt from the lump in it but she managed to write everything on her arms and legs within a few minutes.

She stood on shaky legs with her towel and opened her door, not at all expecting Jaal to be on the other side, a grimace on his face.

“Seiki…”

Rage and embarrassment and shame filled her in that moment and she backed up like she had been burned, a snarl on her lips. “SAM!”

A pause.

“I apologize, I contacted Mr Ama Darav when you reached for the scissors, fearing for your safety. You are more open with him than anyone else on the ship and I thought it better to contact him.” SAM did actually sound apologetic but she felt violated in words she couldn’t express.

Another pause and then a tone she had never heard from SAM before. “I was afraid.”

Tears filled her eyes and her gaze locked with Jaal’s, an unspeakable sadness in the depths of his. Right then and there she wanted to die. Instead she let out a bitter laugh, “Well? Pathetic right?”

He had not said a word to her, uncharacteristically silent, and she was taken by surprise when she found herself in his arms. She let out a gasp as his warmth encompassed her, his bulk shielding her from everything else around her.

His hand cupped the back of her head, pressing her face against his chest and she felt him exhale softly. “My darling one…”

That’s all it took for her despair to rise again like a tidal wave and the lump in her throat to thicken impossibly as her sobs bubbled forth. She clung to him, unable to breathe through her tears, gasping for every breath she could.

Tiny soothing electrical pulses ran through her body and she realized somewhere through her tears that Jaal was humming, as if the vibrations of his voice controlled the beat of his pulses, it felt like a lullaby. After several minutes of this she felt as if she couldn’t cry anymore and she sunk down onto the floor, his body following her down.

She didn’t think she could look at him, she still felt ashamed of her thoughts and she knew he probably thought her pathetic and weak now. Some Pathfinder she was.

Her words felt sticky in her mouth but she didn’t want him to feel obligated to babysit her. “You can go now.”

He stiffened and she suddenly couldn’t stop the words from coming out of her mouth. “I’m not going to slice my wrists open or anything so you can go back to bed ok? I’m not worth a good night of sleep and really I’ll be just as pathetic and useless in the morning so really, you can go.”

Silence.

It was enough silence after a bit to cause her eyes to rise to his and she wished she hadn’t. He was crying, silent tears down his face but his gaze was strong and steady as he stared at her. There was no pity, only empathy in his gaze and she almost flinched from the tenderness of his hand as he gripped her chin, his thumb caressing her cheek.

He exhaled. “Why do you speak so hatefully about yourself?”

“Because it’s true.” The words were automatic when she said them, no emotions just a simple fact.

His gaze hardened with determination and another emotion she couldn’t name. “You are wrong.”

He sounded so sure that she almost believed him. His eyes rolled over the marks on her body before he locked his gaze with hers again. “What do these mean?”

She swallowed and looked away as she answered. “It’s all the things I hate about myself.”

He lifted her wrist, his thumb ghosting over one of the words. “What does this mean?”

“Useless.”

He kissed it. “Giving. Compassionate. A shining star of hope.”

She tugged her arm away. “What are you doing?”

Jaal smiled. “Telling you why you matter.”

This time he held out his hand, offering her the choice to return hers to his. She hesitantly did after a few minutes and he touch another word. “And this?”

“Ugly.”

Again he kissed the mark. “Beautiful. Unique. Absolutely otherworldly.”

He didn’t need to ask the next.

“Not my father.”

A kiss. “No, you are your own person, one I’m proud to know.”

This went on for every mark on her body and she didn’t feel quite so heavy as before. She didn’t necessarily believe the positive things he said about her but she could tell he did and that was enough. The crushing suffocating feeling was receding and she no longer felt like she was so alone.

She took a deep breath before giving him a small smile. “I’m going to wash these off… will you stay here until I get back?”

He kissed her forehead. “I will be here.”

Seiki hurried to the bathroom to wash everything off and she quietly spoke. “SAM, I’m still angry but I know you did it out of concern. I’m going to be angry for a while though but thank you for caring.”

SAM’s voice was just as soft. “Understood. It was not my intention to cause you distress or betray your trust. While your father did feel heavy waves of sadness at times, it was never so… suffocating.”

She chuckled dryly as she toweled off. “Yeah, depression is a bit of a downer. I’m sorry you have to experience it through me.”

“Is there any way for me to ease your suffering?”

She left the bathroom. “Yeah, don’t call anyone else.”

“Understood.”

When she got back to her room Jaal was sitting on her bed, a smile on his face at her return. She couldn’t stop her own small smile and sat next to him, retaking his hand.

“We should probably get some rest now, I’d understand if you want to go back to your own bed though.”

He squeezed her hand. “When Angara are hurting, we stay and comfort each other, I would like to stay.”

It was hard to fight the lingering thoughts that he was only staying out of some Angaran obligation but she managed to push it away and nodded. “I’d like that.”

Next thing she knew he had her cuddled against him under her covers, his body once again protecting her from the outside world. It didn’t take long for her eyes to start to feel heavy as she began to pass out, completely emotionally drained. She had one last thing she wanted to tell him though even if the words were clunky.

“Jaal… I’m glad you’re with me. You’re my darling one too.”

Seiki heard the smile in his voice as she finally drifted away.

“Always.”

Happy birthday to one of the cutest actors of Hollywood Adam Driver!

Originally posted by adamsdriver

Just take a look at him. He might not be what others would call beautiful, but for me he is. He has one of the most interesting ways of playing and portraying different characters with all his attitude, the way he moves, his voice and most importantly, his eyes.

I´m really sad that there are so many people calling him ugly. He isn´t! Just because you don´t find him handsome, doesn´t mean that no one does.

And please stop calling him terrible, because of playing Kylo. Because guess what, they are not the same Person. Adam just happens to portray Kylo. And he´s doing a pretty fucking great job.

So today (and every other day) let´s just cherish the human he is, and let us never forget that without him, a pretty good actor would be missing.So happy birthday to you Adam!

I’m surprised myself, but I have to admit I’m a bit upset by all those negative reactions towards the guy who was picked the new sexiest man alive. Yeah, I don’t find him particularly sexy, and I know that money, PR stuff or the fact he’s white&straight (or at least I assumed he is from the comments, since I don’t even know the guy) might have played a part in this choice, but you know what? I refuse to whine and criticise him, and it actually pains me when everywhere around the Internet today I only read comments about how ugly he is etc. You think IE or RG are prettier? High five, me too, but why does it have to mean that everybody should find this guy ugly? Beauty is a very subjective thing. Sorry, but I want to and choose to believe that there are people who actually find him sexy, instead of concentrating on all that negativity. Because I want to believe that, just like even when we don’t find someone attractive, someone else might, similarly even if we don’t find ourselves pretty enough or deserving others’ praise, there might actually be people who find us attractive. And I want you guys to belive it to.

tl;dr Beauty is subjective, and even if you think you’re just plain ulgy, there’s always someone who may find you the sexiest person alive.

futurevampiress  asked:

My god your writing is awesome. God bless you 🙏 Could I have a scenario where the s/o of GoM+Kagami are nervous about having sex for the first time because they're feeling insecure about their body? o(^▽^)o

Wow, Thank you so much, lovely! I love this idea and I hope you like what I wrote. Let me know if you liked it or not!

 

 

Kuroko did not hide his feelings well. More specifically, he was very blunt. When he wanted something, he outright asked for it.

“_____-chan, I would like to make love to you.”

“Kuroko!” You said, heart beating rapidly.

“I really like ____-chan and would like to move us to the next level, if that’s acceptable.”

“Kuroko…I don’t know.” You said looking around and shaking your head.

“What makes you hesitate, ____-chan?” He asks, holding your hands tightly.

“Let me know. Maybe I can help you?”

“I-It’s nothing! Never mind!” You say trying to pull your hands away from him.  

“_____chan, talk to me. Please?” He pleaded with you.

“I-I…..I’m too scared to sleep with you because I am too big!” You say closing your eyes from being scared.

“You think you are too big to sleep with me?”

“Yes?”

“Did you think that maybe I like that?”

“You like me like that?”

“Yes. I love your size. It turns me on.”

“R-Really, Kuro-chin?” You say looking up at him. Closing his eyes and sighing he replies,

“Yes. It makes me very hard in fact. Do you want to know what I did last night?”

“I’m good.”


“____-chhi, come lay with meee!” Kise called out to you while you were cooking.

“No Kise, dinner is almost ready.” You reply, shaking your head at your boyfriend.

Hearing footsteps pounding down the hallway into the kitchen you lurched forward feeling Kise against your back.

“____-chhi I miss you!!” He whined nuzzling your neck.

“Take a break and come lay with me~” He said lovingly.

“K-Kise, no, give me some space!”

“Mou, ____-chhi is so mean~” he said rubbing your stomach, “It turns me on~”

“Kise, Let go of me!” You yelled loudly pushing him away and making him stumble into the counter hitting it hard.

Kise stood there, hair covering his eyes while he stood limp in front of you.

“K-Kise I’m sorry, I-I didn’t meant to—“

“Why won’t you let me touch you, ____-chhi?”

“I just want to be close to my ____-chhi. That isn’t so much to ask for is it?” He said solemnly.

“N-No Kise, wait, I—“

“Does ___-chhi not love me? Am I ugly to you? Do I repulse you?” He asked, fists balling up.

“No, Kise! Stop! I’m just afraid!” You yelped, outstretching your hand to him trying to calm him down.

He looked up at you through moist golden eyes.

“What do you mean, ____-chhi?” he asked quietly.

“I…. My body is gross, Kise.” You commented, absentmindedly wiping your hands on your apron.

“I’m not beautiful like you. I have imperfections and I can’t let you see what is under my clothes, okay?”

“What! That is ___-chhi’s reason?” He said smiling.

“Y-Yes?”

“Then ___-chhi still loves me and I still have a chance at showing her my love!” He wailed happily throwing his arms around you and pulling you into a crushing hug.

“____-chhi shoulda just told me! I coulda made you forget about all those insecurities! Let go start now, suu~”

“Kise, the dinner!”

Aomine was currently feeling on your body with soft and hard touches, assaulting your mouth with his. He said that he wanted to study with you and possibly eat dinner, but none of that was achieved.

“Touch me more, ____.”

“O-Okay, sorry.”

You were frozen in place. What he made you feel was good, yes, but you were scared of this going too far. Actually getting down and dirty with him was terrifying because you were so insecure with your body, if he looked at you the wrong way, you knew you  would bolt out of there and run home, clothes or no clothes.

“Oi, where are you right now?”

“Huh? I’m right here, Aomine.”

“No, Mentally. You always moan or sumthin’ when I kiss your neck. You just laid there when I did it just now.”

He kissed your neck?

“Oh, I’m sorry Aomine. I was just thinking.”

“About what?” He asked a bit irritated.

“Nothing, Aomine. I’m sorry. Go on.” You replied rubbing his arm.

“Nah, ____-chan, you better tell me what the fuck you were thinking about.” He sneered thinking you were imagining some other dude kissing you.

“It was about me, not you!”

“Then what?”

“Just forget it.”

“No.”

“Aomine, seriously.”

“No.”

“Aomine, please.”

“No.”

Sigh.

“I was thinking about us going… all the way.”

“You want to?” He asked smirking.

“Yes, but, I-I was thinking about how scared I am about it.”

Scared?” He said as if you had insulted him, “You know I would never force you to do anything! I’m not like that!” he yelled moving away from you.

“No, Aomine, no, scared of what you will think of my body.” You said looking up at him.

“What I will think of your body?” He repeated, looking up in thought.

“You wanna know what I think of your body?”

“Ah, well, I don’t know, Ao—“

“It’s soft and smooth like a new pillow. I like how you move when you walk and how supple your neck and cheeks look. You look sexy. That’s what I think. If you wanted to know so badly, you shoulda just asked.” He said running his hand up your leg.

“Or better yet, have asked me to show you.”

 

Midorima, I need to talk to you.” You say quietly with your hands laced together.

He comes and sits across from you at the coffee table and pushes his glasses up.

“What is this about, ____-chin?”  He had never had such a serious sounding talk with you like this before and now he was thinking that you wanted to break up with him. Did Oha Asa say he had bad luck today?

“I heard what Takao said to you earlier.” You said looking down.

As Midorima thought back, he remembered while he and Takao were walking home from school, Takao was asking numerous questions about your relationship with Midorima and you, tagging behind, heard Midorima scolding Takao.

“It is none of your business! We have not slept together, Takao! So shut up, about it!”

You then wondered why he sounded so mad at Takao. Was he tired of waiting for you? Did he want to leave you?

Damn you Takao!” He thought.

“____-chan, it meant nothing. Takao is an idiot. His horoscope for the day was bad anyway.” He said, trying to find the right words to keep you with him.

“Midorima, no, I want to tell you why we haven’t…gone… further in our relationship.”

He looked up surprised and looked at you, waiting for you to continue.

“I have avoided being with you in that way because….I am… really nervous.”

“Nervous.” He said as a comment.

“Yeah. I’m nervous about what you will think of my body….”

“What nonsense is that?” He says looking right at you.

“I’m serious Mido-chin! I’m afraid you will leave me if you see what my body looks like!”

Closing his eyes, he took off his glasses and shot his eyes up to look at you through long lashed emerald eyes.

“____, I like you the way you are. If I wanted someone who was smaller or whatever you think, I would be with them. I am with you and I intend on it staying that way.”

“Only If you stop thinking such stupid nonsense, baka.”


“Mmnh, ____-chin, I’m horny.” Murasakibara said while palming he pants.  

“M-Muro-chin! What are you doing!” You said watching him rub himself.

“_____-chin needs to help me out.” He drawled slowly just like the movements of his hand.

“Murasakibara, that’s indecent!” You yelled covering your eyes.

“Ne. Why won’t ____-chin help me?” He asked, movements continuing.

“No, I can’t!”

“Why?”

“I just can’t!”

“Whyyy ____-chin?” He said growing impatient.

“Because I’m nervous about being with you!” You said stomping your foot.

“Nervous?” He questioned, “About being with me?”

“____-chin should just trust me to love her and care for her.”

“I like ____-chin enough to share my snacks with. Isn’t that enough?”

Akashi had just returned from a business trip that had him away for a week. Even though you two had never slept together, you felt bad for letting your insecurities get in the way of welcoming him back in more than just a kiss.

“Hello my flower.” He said lovingly, grabbing your hands to kiss you.

“Seijuro.” You whispered on his lips.

“I have missed you.” He said leading you to his room to talk and maybe reconnect.

“I have missed you too. Are you home for a while?” You asked sitting on the bed.

“Yes, ____, I am.” He sat next to you bringing your face close to his. Noticing you were swallowing and blinking rapidly, his emperor eye caught your nervousness.

“Why do you look so nervous?”

You debated on telling him why you were not so welcoming or to take the worst route and lie.

“There is nothing you need to hide from me, ____,” he said deciding for you.

“I am just a bit nervous about our first time together.” You said faking a smile.

He sat up straight and grabbed your hand in his.

“Talk to me, flower.”

“I just don’t want to ruin it with my insecurities about my body, Sei.”

“You could never ruin such a special moment. You could only make it better.”

“But Sei, what if I do not look like what you thought?”

“Do not doubt yourself, empress. I am absolute in knowing that you will be everything that I could ever want. You are perfect and should feel as such.”

“Sei…” You whispered smiling from his words.

“I love you, flower. Don’t ever question my undying attraction towards you.”

Kagami always ate in such excess, you never felt as if you ate too much in front of him. He always had second and sometimes even thirds if it was after a game.

“Mmh, dinner is great tonight, ____!”

“Hah, thank you, Taiga! You played well today.”

“Thanks! There was a great turn out,” he swallowed. “There were so many fans!”

“I know. A lot of girls were cheering for you.”

“Right?! They held up signs that had my name on it!” He said in awe.

“It was so cool, _____! I shoulda taken pictures to keep as memories.”

“Yeah, I mean, you must like them more anyway.”

“Yeah, right, I— wait what did you say?” He asked, coming down from his rant and frowning at your words.

“I was just saying that you might be happier with those types of girls.”

“What are you talking about, ____? I’m with you.”

“But you would rather be with them, someone prettier, someone less insecure, less like me.”

“_____ where is this coming from? You’re my type. I play for you! If you don’t want to go further with me because you are nervous, that’s fine. No one said we had to do anything at any specific time.”

“Taiga I’m sorry for ruining dinner by bringing up my problems! I’m sorry!”

“You didn’t ruin anything. You only made me want dessert more.”

I'm Yours - Tony Perry

Do a Tony Perry one? Where you starve yourself but then tony notices. And he confronts you that you are beautiful just the way you are? And he cooks you some dinner and you eat. Fluff fluff!

So I spent a while writing this and I really enjoyed it, Trigger Warning- anorexia

- Written by Afiya

“Y/N!” My roommate, Tony yells, from the bottom of the steps, “What do you want for dinner?”

“Nothing,” Yelling back, I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes scraping past every inch of bodyweight I despised. “I’m not really hungry.” Loathingly, I put my shirt back on, then my pants, and take a big gulp of water. God, Y/N you’re so fucking fat, you can’t be hungry. You’ve eaten enough already, didn’t you see all that fat? “You don’t need food. You don’t need food. You don’t need food.I think to myself, taking another large gulp of water.

He comes up the steps, and stands in front of my door, “Really?” he asks, “Y/N, you can’t be not hungry.” He sits on my bed, “What if I make-“

“Tony, really I’m fine, and no not even your famous nachos are going to change that.” I practically yell this at him, and I look away from him as my stomach growls out of hunger, and he looks at me.

“Really? You’re not hungry?” Disbelief spreads through his face and he shakes his head. “You didn’t even eat anything today, you must be starving.”

“Does it look like I’m hungry?” There was enough fat on my body so that I could ever look hungry, ever. How I got myself so fat was still a mystery to me, but I will never let myself eat like that ever again. I’m ugly with all of this fat on me, and if I can’t see myself as beautiful no one else is going to.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.” A tear leaves my eyes as I look into the mirror. “Don’t act like you don’t know.” He sits closer to me, and turns my face from the mirror too look at him. He wipes the tear away, leaving his fingers to linger on my face before dropping them to his side.

“Y/N, are you starving yourself?” My stomach rumbles again, and that gives him his answer. “Why?”

“Look at me Tony! Look at me!” I stand and throw my arms up into the air, “Can’t you see? Look at me, I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’ve always been this way and unless I change that now, that’s how I’m going to be forever.”

“What?” He stands up next to me, placing his hands on my sides, “Y/N, are you blind?” Turning me around, he shows me the mirror, standing behind me, I look so tiny to him in comparison. “Y/N you do not need to starve yourself, okay? Please don’t, because, Y/N, I love you, and I want you to see how beautiful you are to me, and how beautiful you should see yourself.” He turns me around to face him and he lowers his head, “You’ve never been ugly, you’re not fat. Don’t say those things, okay?” I nod, and now all that mattered was just the tiny space between us, he slowly leans in, looking from my lips to my eyes, but I turn away. I was probably only seeing things, besides, he would never ever go for me, especially when he was in a band Pierce The Veil, and he could have any of the of girls who threw themselves at him after every concert.  He could never really like me, not like I had wanted him to anyways, and I wasn’t going to entertain the far-fetched thought that he could ever like me, so I look towards the mirror again.

Tony and I had been friends since high school, and though he had told me multiple times how much he loved me, I knew it was as a friend, or a sister, but never as an actual person to like, or love, or be with. I was just Y/N, the girl Tony always hung out with, even though he could have hung out with literally anyone else. Rejected, he passes his hand through his hair and takes a step away from me and asks “What do you want?”

“What?” I look at his face, shaded from the sunlight in my room, with a snapback of his. He

“To eat? What do you want to eat?” Eating was something I loathed. Eating meant gaining weight and I didn’t need any of that in my life, I already had enough jiggling on, hanging onto my elephant thighs whenever I walked. “You need to eat something, Y/N, I’m not letting you starve.”

“I don’t want any nachos.” I tell him, if there was one thing to binge on ever, it would be his nachos, and there were too many calories in those nachos to ever work off. “I don’t want anything too oily, or with too many calories, or-“

“Okay, Y/N what about a sandwich?”

“No bread.” I tell him, thinking of the weight I would gain after only one bite.

“Please Y/N? For me? I mean, how long has it been since you’ve had a grilled cheese sandwich?”

“I don’t want one.” I tell him, “It’s too unhealthy.”

“Unhealthy? You want to know what’s unhealthy? Doing this to yourself, starving yourself when you don’t even need to because you’re perfect enough as it is.” Out of frustration, he takes of his snapback, “And you don’t even know it, you can’t even see how perfectly beautiful you are, you can’t even see what’s in front of you.” Defeated, he throws his arms in the air and leaves my room, shutting the door behind him. A few seconds after I hear him going down the stairs. I really messed this up, he was angry at me when he was just trying to help me. I didn’t want Tony to be angry at me, so I get up, open the door, and walk down the stairs.

“Tony?” I asks, looking around the living room, and when he wasn’t there, I walked towards the kitchen, to see him putting cheese on a piece of bread, and putting it on a pan.

“Tony?” I ask, sitting on a stool next to the breakfast bar in our kitchen. “You’re not mad at me are you?”

Slightly annoyed, he turns towards me, “Of course I’m mad.” He tells me, “But not at you.”

“Really?”

“I could never be mad at you, I may be mad you won’t eat something, or mad you won’t see yourself as beautiful, and I’m mad this cheese wont melt faster,” He motions to the still raw cheese on the slightly-toasted piece of bread, “I’m mad you won’t see that I’m in love with you, and have been since I fucking met you.”

Out of disbelief, I’m speechless for a few seconds before saying, “You what?” I ask as he checks the bread and raising the fire on the stove, “You’re in love with me?”

“Yea, and I don’t know how to tell you, but I guess I just did. So now you know,” He says, joining the two halves of grilled cheese together, “I love you.” He places the grilled cheese on a plate and slides it over to me, “And I have been in love with you since the first day I laid my eyes on you.” I stare at him, mostly in disbelief, till he breaks the silence, “Well don’t just sit there, eat, take a bite of the sandwich.” He looks at me, till I bite out of the sandwich, tasting the melted goodness on my tongue was a luxury I hadn’t had in months, and as hunger takes over me, I eat the whole sandwich. With my body thanking me, I feel filled with energy. “Did you like it?” I nod to answer his question, “Good,” He says, putting a glass of milk in front of me, “It was made with love.” I look into his eyes after observing his lips, and I kiss him.

“I love you too.” I breathe on his lips after the kiss, right before kissing him again, “I always have. I just thought you didn’t”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He cups my face in his hands, “Every fucking part of you is perfect.”

“I don’t see it.”

“No one ever sees it, but I’m telling you, you’re perfect.” He kisses me again and holds my hand, “I’ve wanted to be able to do this for so long.” He looks down at our intertwined fingers.

“Hold my hand?”

“I’ve always wanted to hold your hand. I’ve always wanted to be able to feel your soft, smooth, delicate hand in mine. I would always dream about me being able to slip my hand into yours,” he grabs hold of my other hand, “And kiss it.” He brings my hand to his lips as they press onto my skin, “And intertwine my fingers between yours.” Our fingers intertwine and he kisses our knuckles. “Y/N, I love you, and I need you, I don’t want you starving, I don’t want you throwing up, please don’t do it anymore.” I simply nod, and as I look back at him, he brings his mouth to mine once more, our lips feeling each other, fitting perfectly. “I’m yours.” he whispers onto my lips. A smile spreads across my face as he kisses me, “And I love you.”

I feel like in every damn interview the boys have, they always call out Daesung for being “ugly” or some shit. And Seungri for being “an extra to the band” or “usless”. Like what the fuck is wrong with those people? Big Bang wouldn’t be anything without the five of them, like get that in your heads. When I first found out about Big Bang I really liked Daesung and he was my first bias. But I fell in “love” with YB after Wedding dress. But still, Daesung is not ugly -.- He has sooo much to give the band, what is even wrong with people? Just because he doesn’t fit what society call “pretty” or “beautiful” does not make him ugly. And as for Seungri, his voice is so damn good. Every Big Bang song would be missing something if he wasn’t there. It’s really sad and annoying that he thinks the boys and we don’t need him. And the worst part is, everyone has a hand in making him believe that. They’re the youngest in the band, it does not mean people have the right to make them feel worthless and like shit. Show some kindness, and half of those people taking about these two haven’t even looked at themselves in the mirror. If know you ain’t better, don’t talk. Suckers.
Displays of Affection (Suga)

“Are you sure your relationship is going well?” My best friend asked me a moment after my boyfriend stood up and left to find the nearest restroom at the bistro.


“What do you mean?”


“Well,” she paused, “you guys don’t even look like a couple.”


Confused, I started laughing in response. “What’s a couple supposed to look like?”


“Uh… happy?”


“We are happy.”


“You don’t look like it,” she remarked, a little annoyed. “You don’t even show an ounce of affection for each other. Does he even hold your hand or hug you?”


“Not unless I force him,” I mention as I gaze out thoughtfully.


“Does he tell you you’re beautiful?”


I practically choked from the hilarity. “He reminds me how ugly I am every day.”


“HOW IS THAT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?” she scolded. “WHY ARE YOU EVEN TOGETHER?”


I wiped away the tears that dripped down as a result of laughing too hard. “You don’t understand,” I explained to her calmly. “I am very happy. The both of us are. We love each other very much.”


The truth is that we don’t show it. At least, he doesn’t.

To everyone else, and to even myself for a long while, I was the one that loved him more than he loved me. I came into this relationship thinking that the overflowing obvious displays of affection I gave him would be reciprocated just as pathetically and cheesily. But he wasn’t like me, of course. He wasn’t as openly passionate as me. I learned that later.


The way he loved me was intimate and wholehearted, but quiet. When we’re out, he shakes me off when I try to link my arms with his, but every so often, when we’re all alone, he held me in the dark and never let me go. He held my hand in his most vulnerable moments. He told me I was beautiful when I tumbled back down to my lows.


Because of who he was, he couldn’t make a sound when it came to me. He had the same attitude towards everything. He showed the world that he didn’t actually care. It’s true. He doesn’t give a shit. He doesn’t give a fuck… because if he did care too much, he’s scared that the world is going to turn on him and end up hurting him beyond his imagination.


He behaved that way towards me, too. He behaved that way with his members, the boys he saw as his family. He always acted like he didn’t care at all, but every now and then would display the heart he hid so deeply within himself in a discreet manner.


I came to understand that about him. Once I understood, I came to love him and believe in him easier. I respected the way he felt, and as time went on, he started becoming a little more open to me, as long as it was just to ourselves.


“Why do you look so dreamy? It’s gross…” Yoongi’s low murmur woke me from my momentary daze. My best friend looked up at him, crossing her arms in disapproval.


“Oh honey, I was just thinking of you,” I practically purred teasingly, giggling when he made a disgusted face.


My friend groaned as she slowly rose from across the table. “Oh, look at the time, I gotta get going.”


Yoongi sat down beside me and leaned back in his chair. “Why is she so irritable today?” He asked.


Raising my hand to rest on his shoulder, I responded tiredly, “She thinks our relationship is bad.”


He fell silent as he sat back up and faced me. His fingers slowly felt for mine and grasped them, then rested our linked hands on this thigh. “I’m sorry.”


I smiled. “She’ll get over it.“

listen i have so many feelings about young will poindexter growing up thinking he wasn’t attractive and then meeting the objectively incredibly beautiful nursey who just thinks dex is the best looking guy he’s ever seen in his life and telling him that and dex not even believing him at first but eventually growing to accept that nursey really does mean it and that his freckles are wonderful not ugly and his red hair makes him look unique and his big ears are adorable and great and he just starts being more confident in himself okay

anonymous asked:

"Given how infatuated Baekhyun WAS about Taeyeon" yes he WAS infatuated bc now she's ugly, anorexic and irrelevant. Even I was infatuated about her when she used to be pretty.

Economics is a funny thing because we can place value on things. Taeyeon earns more in endorsing a beauty product for a few months than you probably do in a year at your job. That means that Taeyeon is more pretty than you, all of you, are valued as a human being by society. If she’s ugly, then my goodness, what does that make you or any of the rest of us worth?


I like Taengtummy as much as anyone but if she can do a two hour concert of song and dance multiple nights and still belt out notes in tune, she’s clearly not malnourished. If so, we should be hiring anorexics to do stamina sports.


SM Station is SM’s huge investment drive to market their digital singles. I guess she’s irrelevant enough for SM to push her as the first impression that they want the public to have for this large-scale campaign. I mean, it’s not like she can outsell multi-member groups by herself or anything, right? Oh wait.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm not sure if you are taking prompts, but if yes - would you please write Killian and Emma smut that's more silliness than actual smut? Even if it's just the lead up to it. There doesn't seem to be much funny, carefree, silly smut in the fandom, it tends to be more focused on the actual act itself. anyway, thank you for your time!

why yes you definitely knocked on the right door because I love silly smut! my muse is still uncooperative, so it isn’t much, but you know…

Emma comes home to the smell of warm blueberry pie, sweet and mouth-watery, making her smile as she takes her shoes off and shrugs off her coat. It’s cold outside, winter definitely (and finally!) coming to greet them, so she’s relieved to finally be inside and no longer at the wind’s mercy. She paddles her way to the kitchen to find Killian doing the dishes, and so she wraps her arms around his waist, presses her frozen nose to the nap of his neck. He shivers a little but doesn’t pushes her away, and so she tightens her hold on him, kisses his shoulder.

“What’s up, Martha Stewart?”

He chuckles at the reference he doesn’t understand, low and deep, and she can picture the roll of his eyes without having to look at him. He finishes washing the bowl before he wipes his hand on the towel, Emma still hugging him, before he turns around in her embrace – one arm wraps around her waist too, while his hand settles on her neck as he kisses her, soft and easy. She grins into the kiss, and bites down on his bottom lip a little, grinning even more when a low groan escapes him.

“And a good afternoon to you too,” he smirks against her mouth.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you know any where Snape is a mentor to one or both of them. Or where Snape is nice-ish

I don’t know a whole lot, I don’t really seek out cool guy! Snape fics, so here are the few I know:

MENTOR SNAPE 

Chaos Theory (tessacrowley)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 102.7k, Summary: Chaos: when the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future. One gene varies, one neuron fires, one butterfly flaps its wings, and Draco Malfoy’s life is completely different.

A Thousand Beautiful Things (Duinn Fionn)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 108k, Summary: Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.

Azoth (zeitgeistic)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 88.7k, Summary: Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

Malfoy Flavor (Vorabiza)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 190k, Summary: Harry’s ready to banish the Golden Boy image and take charge of his life. Unfortunately, or fortunately, for him there are still more surprises in store for him.Draco has always found a certain comfort in chaos. Perhaps he shouldn’t.

Tissues Of Silver (fearlessdiva)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 76k, Summary: A love story concerning possessed furniture, black silk pyjamas, courtroom drama, premonitions of doom, assassination attempts, Death Eater yoga, absinthe, bare feet and a sensible werewolf. Beware: coarse language, brief drug use, some sexual content, and consideration of issues of sexual consent.

Leo Inter Serpentes (Aeternum) - WIP

Rating: PG-13, WC: 528k, Summary: Just one conversation between two eleven year old boys goes slightly differently, and the world changes. Just how much will be different with Harry being sorted into Slytherin, and how much will stay the same?

Secrets (Vorabiza

Rating: NC-17, WC: 411.1k, Summary: Beginning with Draco’s unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry’s summer after sixth year becomes filled with activity and many secrets. As his summer progresses, Harry generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side.

Right Hand Red (lumosed_quill)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 73.1k, Summary: Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.

Inter Vivos (lomonaaeren)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 255.2k, Summary: The Parseltongue incident in second year caused a more violent explosion in Gryffindor House than anyone could have foreseen. Harry, trying to withdraw from everyone except his two best friends, finds himself helped by people he couldn’t have foreseen either, first Snape and then Draco Malfoy. Sometimes, all it takes is one sudden impulsive throwing of a stone for the ripples of change to spread through several lives.