if ever there was a time i believed in miracles


‘  the world is a little happier with you in it.  ’
‘  i have the right to be happy and i will not let you or anyone else take that from me.  ’
‘  i’m done apologizing for who i am.  ’
‘  i am stronger now and i will not say sorry.  ’
‘  let this moment be your starting point. let this moment be the one when it all began.  ’
‘  if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.  ’
‘  it’s never too late to rebuild yourself.  ’
‘  healing takes time, but it will come.  ’
‘  your warmth and kindness is more beautiful than you know.  ’
‘  your feelings are valid.  ’
‘  your opinons are valid.  ’
‘  your happiest moment is still yet to come.  ’
‘  turn off the light and close your eyes. it can wait until tomorrow.  ’
‘  self love is a daily commitment.  ’
‘  don’t let those thoughts that are telling you can’t keep you from trying at all.  ’
‘  not today. i won’t let it defeat me.  ’
‘  stop punishing yourself. please. you don’t deserve it.  ’
‘  breathe.  ’
‘  you don’t deserve that! demand better!  ’
‘  i hope you find what your soul really needs.  ’
‘  i hope you find the happiness you yearn for.  ’
‘  there is a point where you have to let go of the anger.  ’
‘  even if your voice was shaky and you stuttered on your words, you still spoke up and i am so proud you did.  ’
‘  there’s something incredible about you and i can’t quite tell what it is. maybe that’s the magic in it.  ’
‘  i know you want more and your heart is driven like that, but don’t take on too much.  ’
‘  people aren’t always going to do and say what you want them to and that’s okay.  ’
‘  you are a living, breathing masterpiece.  ’
‘  some might not understand your beauty, but you are art nonetheless.  ’
‘  quiet down those thoughts. it’s not worth it tonight.  ’
‘  try to have gentle thoughts.  ’
‘  your intrusive thoughts are just thoughts and nothing more than that.  ’
‘  i love you… i always have.  ’
‘  i tell myself i don’t care, but i care too much.  ’
‘  maybe you and i exist together on a different wavelength than the rest of the world. perhaps, we are on a separate frequency.  ’
‘  concept: we’re both in our softest pajamas, your arms around me and our legs are intertwined. you kiss the back of my neck and tell me you won’t ever let me go.  ’
‘  look close enough and you’ll find how much i adore you in every subconscious thing i do.  ’
‘  there are countless parts of you i’ve yet to meet, yet to memorize. nevertheless, i’ll keep wanting to get to know you even when i know everything.  ’
‘  you make me feel loved in my unlovable moments and beautiful even in my ugliest ones.  ’
‘  oh darling, how deeply you’ve become a part of me. i can’t help but feel something is missing when you’re gone.  ’
‘  i can’t help but feel something is missing when you’re gone.  ’
‘  thank you for never making me inadequate or dumb or inferior.  ’
‘  your constant love and respect has given me incredible strength and confidence.  ’
‘  thank you for seeing all the good in me.  ’
‘  every night i image you beside me.  ’
‘  it breaks my heart that you can’t fall asleep with me in the same room or the same city, but i always remember that even an imagined silhouette of you is better than nothing at all.  ’
‘  the spaces between your fingers are where mine fit perfectly.  ’
‘  by some miracle, the universe created you. of all the infinite combinations of atoms, somehow that infinity filtered down to form you.  ’
‘  what people think of you is not equivalent to who you are.  ’
‘  the moment i let myself believe i was going to be okay was the moment i finally was.  ’
‘  protecting your own happiness ins’t selfish.  ’
‘  you deserve every ounce of happiness.  ’
‘  a week, a month, a year without you is nothing compared to the lifetime we’ll spend together.  ’
‘  tomorrow is a new day. and a new day after that. it’s never too late to start over.  ’
‘  i finally realize that i no longer need your approval and i never really did.  ’
‘  maybe i will be okay in the end.  ’
‘  maybe i will find all that i’m searching for.  ’
‘  maybe i will figure out all that i am.  ’
‘  whatever. whatever. whatever. let is pass right by you.  ’
‘  you are not a failure. please believe that.  ’
‘  you are only presented with obstacles you are strong enough to conquer.  ’
‘  it’s been long enough. it’s time to forgive yourself.  ’
‘  your bad days don’t make your good days any less good.  ’
‘  even in your darkest times, the sun still rises.  ’
‘  your existence wasn’t a mistaken accident, it was a creation from almost nothing to something incredible – a miracle even.  ’
‘  your feelings are your own. no one should be allowed to define them for you.  ’
‘  ever since our storylines intertwined, i haven’t stopped smiling. you are the best plot twist.   ’
‘  your thoughts are something that deserve to be heard.  ’
‘  sometimes it’s not meant to be, but that doesn’t mean there’s no value in it happening.  ’
‘  your greatest love story is the one you have with yourself.  ’
‘  i have the right to be happy and i will not let you or anyone else take that from me.  ’
‘  your existence alone has altered the world. you are more important than you know.  ’
‘  thank you for letting me forget all the bad, even just for a second.  ’
‘  you were built for whatever is thrown your way. you are ready.  ’
‘  no matter what your mind is telling you, please know that you are enough.  ’
‘  what i can’t fathom is how we can be so close yet so far away.  ’
‘  you are not a bad person for having bad thoughts. forgive yourself.  ’
‘  you are growing from this.  ’
‘  you will heal in time.  ’
‘  your strength and kindness is more beautiful than you know.  ’
‘  i’m just trying to be happy and stop thinking about what other people think.  ’
‘  i want to be someone who sees magic in ordinary things.  ’
‘  be extra. enjoy things and show it. stop apologizing for it.  ’
‘  why do you keep trying to impress people who don’t matter?  ’
‘  let go of the hate. let go of the anger. let go of the resentment. just let it go because it’s holding you back.  ’
‘  you’re really cute and you make me really happy.  ’
‘  show me your genuine care.  ’
‘  why are you beating yourself up over things you can’t control? breathe.  ’
‘  people annoy me too easily. i need to cut that shit out. i’m not cool enough to be trying to pull that.  ’
‘  underestimate me and give me the ability to prove you wrong.  ’
‘  you don’t have to have everything figured out.  ’
‘  you’re not a bad person for being angry.  ’
‘  forever is an adventure with you.  ’
‘  you are not a failure. please believe that.  ’
‘  you’re my favorite reason to stay awake.  ’

ME: Ficlet: Ten Years

Ten years since the end of the war.

The official end, anyway. Theirs ended later. No surprise there.

First in, last out. It was how they’d used Shepard from the moment she achieved her N7. Maybe since Elysium. Truth be told, Garrus knows it’s how they use her even now.

Garrus stands in the doorway, watching his wife dress. She’s pinning medals to the breast of her impeccably pressed dress uniform. She hasn’t pulled her hair back yet, so it hangs loose and heavy down her back, nearly to her hips.

He knows exactly how that hair would feel between his fingers. He knows its smell, knows its weight, knows its softness. He knows it pulled into a military knot; he knows how it looks spread out around her naked body. 

The medals jingle against each other as she bends to retrieve the Star of Terra from its velvet case. She has two but refuses to wear them both. “Ridiculous,” she always grouses. “And heavy as hell, to boot.”

“If you’re just going to stand there staring, you might as well make yourself useful,” she says. In the mirror, her reflection smiles at him. He chuckles, already crossing the room, already reaching for the medal. He slides her hair out of the way and fixes the clasp behind her neck. When he straightens the Star on her chest, he lets the tips of his talons trace the line of her collarbones beneath the jacket.

They look good together. He’s wearing formal turian dress, of silk and heavy brocade in shades of blue and grey and gold. The long tunic is perfectly fitted; the cloak draped and pinned in perfect folds hanging to brush the ground at his heels. Shepard, by contrast, is all crisp lines and military precision. Except for the hair. 

He hooks a lock of it and curls it around his finger. “Not like they’d court-martial you for wearing it down,” he says.

She laughs. “It’s not for them.” She taps her medals. “It catches on these.”

“Want me to do it?”


In the last ten years, he’s done this dozens of times. She closes her eyes as he retrieves her brush and runs it through the gleaming red strands. It’s the work of only minutes to wind and twist and pin her hair, leaving her slender neck bare to his nuzzling kiss. She giggles because it’s one of the very few spots she’s ticklish—and he knows that, too, because he’s made a mission of seeking them all.

He runs his hands from her shoulders down her arms, as if his touch can smooth some of the tension from her. It can’t, not really. She hates the speechifying. She hates having all eyes on her.

He’s not really a fan, either, when it comes down to it. They’re both snipers, after all, who prefer solitude and silence and perfect perches with uninterrupted sight lines. 

Still, they’ve gotten used to the visibility, the attention. They’ve had to.

“Ready?” he asks.

“As I’ll ever be. You?”

“As I’ll ever be.” His mandibles flicker; he knows she hears the faint tremor in his subharmonics.

She leans back against him for a moment, looking for comfort and giving him strength all at the same time. “Ten years,” she says. “Hard to believe.” Turning to face him, she wraps her arms around his neck and stands on her toes to press a kiss to his scarred face. “Want to go for ten more?”


Her eyes narrow. “Double or nothing?”

“Raise you a hundred,” he replies, seriously.

She grins. “High-roller.”

“All-in,” he agrees.

“That’s what I like to hear.” She kisses him again, softly, lips like a miracle.  “What do you say we get the ceremonial stuff over with so we can do what we do best?”

“Shoot things?”

She snorts. “I meant celebrate, but maybe we can work your idea in, too.”

Unexpected Love || Part 1

Prompt: Tom and his dad got in a car crash, Tom making it out alive. He’s trying to cope with his father’s loss, but is having a hard time doing so. So they send you to help fix him from up above. (AU)

Warnings: Mentions of dying, Smut, God, car crash, sexual things.

Word Count: 2,431

Pairing: Tom Holland x Angel!Reader

A/N: This is based on that audition tape Harrison did that was on Tom’s Instagram. First time doing smut tell me what you think. Sorry for the lack of my stories I’ve been busy. Hope this makes up for it. :)


Tom didn’t think his whole life would change. He kept telling himself what if he never went out and gotten drunk at that party. What if he stayed in and spent time with his family. What if he didn’t call his dad to come and get his drunk ass. He’d be alive right now. All he could do is keep blaming himself, but every time Tom does his family would tell him that he and his dad couldn’t have known that a semi would ram into their car or that everything seems to happen for a reason. Tom couldn’t help but get lost in his own thoughts.

Keep reading

Hey if you guys are ever feeling like shit, I highly recommend memorizing and reciting Alex Jones’ “I’m a Pioneer, I’m an Explorer…” monologue.

And I don’t mean reciting it in your head. I mean finding time when there’s nobody around, maybe when you’re driving or jogging, and doing your best impressions of Alex’s voice while you belt it out loud at the top of your lungs. Repeat it until you believe it.

I’m not saying it’s a miracle cure for depression or anything.

But if you’re capable of shouting it all, start to finish, three times in a row, and not feeling just a little bit better about yourself, then you’re doing it wrong.

I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mothers name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mothers joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel.Do you believe that Mary was really a virgin? Do you believe that Moses really parted the sea? And if you don’t believe in miracles, tell me, how would you explain the miracle of my life to me? And for all the times you’ve knelt before the temple of yourself, have the prayers you’ve asked come true? And if they didn’t did you feel denied? And if you felt denied, denied by who[m]? I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror on a day you’re feeling good. I wanna know what you see in the mirror on a day a day you’re feeling bad. I wanna know the first person who ever taught you your beauty could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass. If you ever reach enlightenment, will you remember how to laugh? Have you ever been a song? See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds. And if you dream sometimes that this life is just a balloon that if you wanted to you could pop—but you never would because you’d never want it to stop.
Kalagang #06

1x07 WWN Double-D?

YES! We are now here at one of Kalagang’s iconic moments – cafe in the rain and rooftop of the temple. *scream of joy* In this episode, Kala visits Ganesha’s temple after her reunion with naked-again Wolfgang to get some kind of guidance.

Kala: From the day I decided to marry Rajan, you have been sending me…visions. […] But then, you sent me a vision of a man…with a large…trunk? A very large trunk.

Original post [x] @netflixsense8gifs

I just wanted to put this GIF cause this scene gets me every single time.

Kala: I am a little more than confused. But I trust you, Ganesha. So I know there must be some meaning to all of this that I cannot see. And I wish to see. I wish to understand. So help me, Ganesha. Help me see what it is I must do.

Original post [x] @stevenrogered

When I first watched this episode and the camera started to move around Kala, I was like ‘Is Wolfgang gonna appear? Is he gonna appear? Is he? please come out, Wolfie. I know you want to.’ and when I saw his silhouette behind Kala, I screamed with joy.

Anyway, before Wolfgang says gods don’t give shit about people (I wrote why he says that in this post), although the image of him is too blurry to see his face I get this feeling that he’s been listening to her quite intently; he just seems very amused by Kala.

Wolfgang: I speak from experience.

Original post [x] @mindykahling

Look. RAIN! Kala is now in Wolfgang’s world. I like how Kala’s expression changes; so hopeful with her hands put together for prayer but as soon as she hears Wolfgang’s voice and finds out she’s standing in a rain she’s like ‘oh, great…him again. I know I asked for some guidance, but not like this’.

Also I found it interesting that Wolfgang chose to stay outside of the cafe when it’s obviously pouring down. Maybe it is simply to give cinematographic contrast between Kala and Wolfgang’s world. But I’d like to believe that Wolfgang loves rain. Besides, it’s so like him – maybe Wolfgang was enjoying his coffee outside the cafe when it started raining, but then he’s kinda lazy to go back inside so he thinks ‘fuck it, I’ll just get wet’.

Wolfgang: [Why won’t you just leave me alone?] I tried. Believe me I try not to think of you, but every time it brings me straight to you.

I have nothing to say but MELTED. This is the first time Wolfgang has ever felt something totally different to someone, and even though a part of him is afraid to explore that feeling, it doesn’t stop him from being honest with Kala – with himself. He doesn’t hesitate to tell Kala how he feels or thinks about her. No lies, no secrets, no sugarcoating. Only the truth.

Original post [x] @fyeahmaxriemelt

It may be because Wolfgang is very straightforward person, but I also think he is taking a risk in his own way to figure out what it is – this mysterious, unsolved yet unavoidable strong connection to a woman who clearly is an opposite of him. And that’s what makes Kala more drawn into him.

Original post [x] @kalagang

Wolfgang: *tap* *tap*

Seriously, he needs to stop with whole tapping on things. It makes me want to jump into his arms and cling onto him – which I can’t. Anyway, I would say this tapping is different from the previous one. Because the one he did on in Kala’s bedroom was closer to seducing her. This time, however, Wolfgang seems more careful and polite when he gestures the chair next to him, asking her to sit down. Like he’s not trying to seduce her or anything. Right now, he just wants to talk to her; he wants to get to know her.

Wolfgang: It’s nice here. Weather’s shit in Berlin.

Original post [x] @stevenrogered

That smile. THAT FREAKING SMILE. OH MY GOD, ENOUGH, MAX RIEMELT! I mean, the camera is not even facing them and that little smile on his face while he’s looking at Kala/Tina; it’s just killing me and giving me life at the same time. How is this even possible? I’ll tell you, because it’s MAX RIEMELT we’re talking about.

Kala: It rains like this in Bombay, but it’s not so cold there.

Who doesn’t love this moment between Wolfgang and Kala. Wolfgang, again, does not hesitate when it comes to Kala. When she shivers with cold, he immediately tries to warm her. I actually thought he was going to put his jacket on her – but no, this guy decides to use his HANDS instead! Sharing body temperature with her, WHOO-HOO! EVEN BETTER! LOL.

OK, my initial thought of Kala’s reaction was – she doesn’t feel comfortable; which is completely understandable. I mean, after all, they’ve just met. They are technically still strangers to one another. Not to mention she is engaged to Rajan.

But then, I realized it’s the first time Kala and Wolfgang touch each other! So I’m guessing when Wolfgang touched her, she was more surprised by how real that felt. Although he actually exists somewhere in Berlin, to Kala, Wolfgang is a man who exists in her head. And vice versa. Thus, neither of them would have ever expected this kind of sensation when they touched each other.

I’m not sure if Wolfgang pulled away because he felt that same kind of surprised feeling as Kala. To me, it felt like he pulled away because he thought Kala seemed uncomfortable with him touching her. Which apparently shows how much Wolfgang cares for Kala – he doesn’t want to push her or do anything that will make her uncomfortable. 

Original post [x] @fyeahmaxriemelt

Awkward moment. Kala’s expression right there – Kala has a strong moral compass, and right now she’s having mixed feelings because she didn’t hate when Wolfgang touched her. And that feeling has quickly turned into a guilt. She hates feeling guilty. She hates being the bad person. She looks down at her hand where the wedding ring is still on her finger, trying to remind herself she’s still engaged to Rajan – that she can’t betray him; logic comes into her mind telling her what she’s doing in this moment with another man is not right.

Kala: [So tell me…does he ever help?] What? [Your god.] Of course. [How?] I asked him to stop my wedding, and he did. [You think he stopped your wedding?]

Original post [x] @stevenrogered

However, Kala can’t help but feel emotionally free and honest when she’s with Wolfgang. Can you imagine her telling things like ‘I prayed to Ganesha to stop my wedding cause I don’t actually love Rajan’ to others like her parents? her sister? her friends? or to Rajan? I seriously doubt it.  

The whole connection between Kala and Wolfgang is emotion-driven. Whereas the relationship between Kala and Rajan is closer to logic-driven; when Kala thinks of Rajan she basically lists all the reasons why marrying him is the right thing such as he’s handsome, he’s smart, he’s rich, he’s the perfect-husband-type, etc. If Kala and Rajan’s relationship was emotion-driven, she would have simply said ‘because I love him’.

With Wolfgang, Kala becomes totally herself. She doesn’t have to think about social standards, people’s expectations, or anything that keeps her from being true to herself. Wolfgang shows her that it is okay to let her emotions out; it’s okay to follow what her heart desires. Besides, after all, they are sensates – they are destined to be connected in emotional level.

Wolfgang: So you think our connection is a kind of miracle?

Original post [x] @s8gif

Wolfgang is not the kind of guy who believes in fate, gods, fairy-tales (obviously), happily-ever-afters, or miracles. But we know that he may be once believed in those things so that he could live a life in which he’s not a monster anymore…even after he’s given up on miracles, deep down there’s a part of him that still wants to believe in them. Now, he’s asking Kala if their connection is a kind of miracle. I think he secretly wants her to say ‘yes’ – maybe he’s been waiting for someone to come up to him and say ‘miracle does happen’ because he still wants that life; a life where he can put his past behind and have his happily-ever-after. Maybe with Kala.

Kala: If I were trying to describe this feeling – the sensation of experiencing the warmth of the sun, the smell of jasmine and marigold…while at the same time being soaked by a downpour at an outdoor cafe…the taste of strong coffee still in my mouth…

Original post [x] @sitonfinnslap

Did anybody notice a slight parallel between this scene and the one where Kala’s mother talks about kissing her husband (1x05)? Here’s the quote:

Priya: The truth is, for the longest time, I thought kissing is as eating a kebab, because whenever I would kiss, all I would taste was spices and garlic on his lips.

In my mind, I was screaming like ‘oh my God, she’s thinking about kissing him right now! and she hasn’t even kissed him yet! oh God! HELP!’ 

Kala: I would say that the word ‘miracle’ sounds particularly appropriate. Wouldn’t you?

Original post [x] @eleveun

At that moment, Wolfgang seems sort of relieved to hear that word ‘miracle’ coming out from Kala’s mouth; but at the same time, he looks as if he’s in big trouble. Like he’s thinking to himself ‘oh fuck, I’m falling head over heels for this girl, aren’t I?’ AND THE WAY HE’S LOOKING AT HER IS JUST SO HOT.

Moreover, I like how they show Kala’s face in the rain and Wolfgang’s face in the sun. Kala who represents fire is feeling every raindrops, while Wolfgang who represents water is experiencing warmth of the sun – SYMBOLISM. It gives that feeling of…Kala and Wolfgang have completely stepped into each other’s world – like each person’s presence has soaked into one another; now they’re of one mind (like Kala’s vow in her wedding).

Kala: For me, science is another language we use to talk about the same miracles that faith talks about. [But…one language makes sense, one doesn’t] Sense? What, like quantum physics? Like a particle that can be here and not here?

Later, Kala talks about her childhood; why she likes festivals, and how she became a believer. I love how Kala is confident…so sure of herself when she talks about her love for science and her faith; and how Wolfgang is simply just amused by every word, every thought that’s coming out of her.

Then, as Kala talks about force of gravity, they both start looking at each other’s lips. HOTNESS OVERLOAD ALREADY. I CAN’T TAKE IT!

Kala: Or sense like gravity? A force that no one knows why exists. Only that if didn’t exist…if there wasn’t this mysterious attraction…this pull between objects…then none of this would exist either.

This whole description or explanation about gravity just matches perfectly with Kalagang’s relationship. It’s something beyond their comprehensions and they don’t know why this connection exists, and yet, they can’t seem to find a way to end this. They don’t want to end it, because this connection somehow makes them feel more alive than ever. What they feel for each other is the most real thing they’ve ever felt.

Wolfgang: Thank God for gravity. [Exactly]

Original post [x] @diaryofmay

I mean what more can we say, other than, THANK GOD FOR GRAVITY?

Wolfgang: I’ve been thinking I want to get out of Berlin for a little while. I need to take a trip. [Where?] India.

Original post [x] @fyeahmaxriemelt

(Thank you anon for reminding me of this scene! I totally forgot!) Here, Wolfgang is ready to meet Kala in person. And it’s not just because of mere curiosity or sexual attraction; it’s because he truly thinks she is the one! Also, we can see there’s a bit of hope in his eyes – that maybe she is the second chance of life Wolfgang had prayed for.

Just a reminder, Wolfgang has met Kala less than five times, had conversation with her for less than an hour in total, their kiss was cockblocked by Felix, and she lives in a different country. But none of those are going to stop Wolfgang from–

OoooOh….never mind…#SaveFelix

EXO Angel!AU Reaction when they meet you after years and you remember them

This is the second part of another Angel!Au Reaction. If you want to read it, please click the following /link/ Xoxo,Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


*He feels like his whole world stopped* “Do you really… remember me? Is this… real? All this time… I’ve been looking for you… and you’ve been looking for me”


“I am sorry… sorry I had to leave like that. Every day I regretted it… but it was to keep you safe… as long as you were okay, I was too” *The pain was too much but now all he feels is relief*


“C-can.. you see me? Do you know… who I am? What we were? Can you… forgive me…?” *He can’t believe it, he thought you two would never be able to be together*


*He’d hold you in his arms for minutes. His light is brighter than ever, his joy is too great to be unseen* “This is.. the best day of my life… you are here… you can see me again… and we can finally be together”


*He won’t be able to believe it, he’ll just stare at you and smile, cry maybe out of joy* “This day has finally come… It’s really a miracle… I’ve been by your side all this time… and I really thought you’d never see me again.. I missed you”


*It’d be really hard to hold his tears* “Yes… it’s really me… I’m here… with you.. I always am.. you just… you can finally remember… you don’t know how this makes me feel..”


*At the beginning it would be hard because he would think you can’t see him. But the moment he starts crying and you run to hug him, he’d remember that love can do miracles* “You never gave up on us… you fought against everything.. just to see me again”


“You remember… everything… when did the memories come back? Why didn’t you call my name.. why… you’ve been alone all this time… while I was out, fighting. Trying to keep you safe… I’m sorry Y/N… for all these time that we were apart”


“This .. can’t be” *For a moment he’d feel his heart stopping, together with the world. All he can see is the girl standing in front of him staring back* “You just called me… by my name… I never thought I would hear you say my name again…”


*It’d be an encounter like the first time you two met. No questions, no words just smiles and tears. He’d hold you really tightly and surround you with his wings to keep you close and safe* “This time… I won’t let you go”


“Do you believe in miracles? Don’t you think this is one? I still have your memories… I was waiting for the perfect time.. and yet… here you are, remembering every thing we shared…. how is this possible? You are my miracle”


*He’d break in front of you, he’d hold your face and stare into your eyes. He’d look at that light in them, the light you have every time you see his face, the light he thought he’d never see again* “I’ve been lost without you… it’s been so lonely and cold… I didn’t think we could feel pain until I lost you… I’m just happy you remember me…”

[Masterlist] [Guideline]

nuts-of-wonder  asked:

Hey Dr. Wayfaring! I recently heard a story on the radio about a family who lost their son to diabetes at the age of 12. They were people of faith and only took their son to the doctors a few times his whole life. After he was diagnosed they refused to follow their doctor's instruction because they believed God would heal their son. As I said before, he passed away. I know you're a person of faith as well, have you ever been in a similar situation? How do medical professionals deal with this?

I have definitely seen patients in the past who refused standard medical treatments like insulin or chemotherapy because they believed that their healing would come miraculously. I, on the other hand, choose to see the discoveries of insulin and chemotherapy as miracles in themselves. Part of my faith is believing that God sometimes works through his creation to perform all sorts of miracles. 

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wintershouse  asked:

forgive me if this offer only extended to the user you messaged but could i get recs for joanna live performances? shes my fave artist of all time but ive never really heard any live stuff

I am absolutely always ready to recommend Joanna Newsom live performances! here are some of my favorites. 

let’s start with a classic song and a consistent member of Joanna’s setlist. “Emily,” in 2010. it’s probably her most loved song, and the intricate arrangement and instrumentation of the studio version become really dynamic when live. that final chorus is a miracle. a miracle!! 

“Leaving the City,” in 2013. p4kfest! this isn’t in a technical sense her best performance of this song - she sounds kinda tired, and I think she even messes up the harp part at the beginning - but it’s a really magical one because i believe it’s the first time she performed it at all. these people are hearing it for the first time ever! as such, they are not remotely prepared for the chorus with its multiple rhyme schemes, contradictory meters, and her fingers doing fucking laps on the harp. they start cheering, as one does. it had to be awesome to be there.

“In California,” in 2016. this is mostly here because it’s one of my all-time favorite jnew songs, and she doesn’t perform it that often. also I think her dress is gorgeous. AND I HAVE TORN MY SOUL APART FROM PULLING ARTLESSLY WITH FOOL COMMANDSSS

“Cosmia,” in 2011. this one’s great because there’s some banter at the beginning. also, it’s just Joanna and her harp, which I LOVE for cosmia - the studio version, like most of Ys, is just so complex and multilayered in its arrangement and the number of instruments involved. but this is a song about loneliness and grief, and I find it gets a lot more intimate and chilling when it’s just her.

“Sapokanikan,” in 2015. this is one of her best performances vocally, imo. those high notes at the end are so clear and gorgeous. love it love it love it.

ok, so, now: Best Live Performance Ever. “Baby Birch,” in 2010. what makes this the best Joanna live performance of all time? the song builds and builds so slowly with just her and the harp, and then when we hit that cathartic climax, all the instruments and elements (violin! trombone! cymbal! electric guitar! vocal harmonies!!!) that have just sneaked in and out so far come in and carry us through. everything’s working together so well, and the outro is gorgeous. but what really makes this is how openly emotional Joanna is, both in vocals and expression. this is her most gut-wrenching song, and it’s all there. best live performance. 

(honorable mention for this #deepcut audio of “Only Skin” from before Ys was released. it’s on piano, not harp (!), and it’s an altered version of the song’s last couple of movements. it’s an early draft. I love it because it feels like a window into her creative process.)


Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Writer: admin monnie

Pairing: College!Namjoon/Reader

Description: In which Namjoon’s glow up got you fucked up in more ways than one

Genre: smut

Warnings: Rough sex, Domination, (really badly written) Dirty talk, Choking (kinda)

You couldn’t write.

That was the cold hard truth, you just couldn’t write anything in paper to save your life, English or Korean, it didn’t matter. Which is how you ended being tutored by nerd supreme, Kim Namjoon, first class dweeb and destructor of everyday objects. You had met Namjoon in school, sixth grade to be exact, and the only difference between high school Namjoon and grade school Namjoon was that his baby chubs have now transformed into long and awkward limbs. He was sporting the ugliest bowl cut to be known in mankind, his glasses were okay you guessed.

It was your last year in high school and for your final in language you had to write a perfect essay if you ever hoped to graduate. Of course, perfect student, top of the class, indisputable valedictorian Kim Namjoon had already turned his in and received a high, if not perfect, score. Leaving him with enough free time to tutor someone for the assignment. For a month he would come to your house or you to his to work on your writing every and all weekend, and after a lot of tears and migraines, you wrote a good essay. Somewhere along the way you felt a shift in Namjoon’s behavior towards you. He had become more shy and tongue tied, his clumsiness had evolved, and he would ramble on and on sometimes. You didn’t thought about it too much, but maybe that was your first mistake in the chain of events that were about to go down.

Rumors started spreading around school, twisting the new gossip into many different stories, yet all had the same message: Namjoon had a major crush on you, and he was planning on confessing soon. You were mortified to say the least, he was a good kid but you wouldn’t date him in your lifetime, he was just not it for you. So you did the logical thing to do, and avoided him as much as you could till graduation. Rumors may be rumors but you weren’t taking chances to get your reputation ruined, nope not on your watch. But the nightmare continued for a while longer. You had found a rose on your desk one morning, two weeks later a love poem signed “secret admirer” had found its way inside your locker, on your birthday a small teddy bear with chocolates had found its way to your house, and worst of all when you asked around about the identity of your so called “secret admirer”, you would be answered with “why don’t you ask joonie?” and you begged graduation to just come already.

One day it had been too much to bear.  A week before freedom, you found a note with very familiar handwriting saying “please meet me at the park by your house tonight at 8, I want to tell you something important”, and you were too fed up with everything to even find it sweet. So you changed into the first thing you saw and walked towards the stupid little park at 8 pm sharp just to find the boy of your nightmares already there, hand in his pockets and dressed up, clearly making an effort to look good that night, but you were not having any of it. It bothered you how his face lit up once he saw you, and how he smiled warmly at you from underneath the light post he was leaning on to look like fucking prince charming or something. You stopped in front of him, cutting him off before he even spoke “listen, I know okay? I know you were the one with the roses and the poems and stuff and its sweet but I just don’t like you like that Namjoon-sshi. I’ve never have and I’m sorry if it looked like I was interested, believe me I am not. So please just stop with all this, okay? Just. Stop. And leave me alone. Goodnight.” and then you walked away, relief had flooded into you after you had made yourself clear. Where you a little harsh? Maybe, but he needed to back off one way or another.

That whole week you didn’t see Namjoon in class. The only time you ever did was when he delivered his valedictorian speech, and then never again.

At least not in high school.

College was a bittersweet miracle, whoever said a Major in Fine Arts wasn’t that hard needed to die slowly and painfully. Your newfound freedom, however, was a blessing in your life.However, it still hold true to having gossip and rumors flying around much like high school. The newest being of one of the top 15 getting a job where two of the Top 15 were already working, a small café that only got busy because hot guys were working the machines and also taking your orders. Now the Top 15 where the 15 hottest and best good looking guys in the campus, it was a secret that only the female alumni knew about, it was ridiculous but so very appreciated. It was a matter of days before your roommate Nari was begging for you to accompany her to the café, she wanted to attempt and get the number of a specific guy working there, and because you can’t say no to Nari you go even though you didn’t really cared. And you’re glad she did because holy shit you were literally looking at heaven. The barista was drop dead gorgeous, his bottom lip fuller than his top one, making a perfect heart, he was tall and his shoulders were broad, and he had such a sweet smile that can make anyone swoon and chestnut hair with an opening in the middle. The first waiter was shorter than the barista, but what he lacked in height he made up in charms and looks. His hair was a platinum color and was styled in a simple sweep to the left but it just made him more handsome, his ears were pierced and a cross earring hanged from his left earlobe, and let’s not forget the great view from behind, god bless tight red dress pants. And then there was the man of the hour, with purple hair styled to the side which seemed to go perfectly with his tanned skin and his pouty lips that when he smiled showed his dimples, and his godly muscles that were visible under his black button up shirt whenever he flexed, his height and appearance perfect fit for a model and jesus was he wearing rings?  Needless to say, you would go anytime you had an excuse just to see your purple haired beauty.

And then the universe decided to play a cruel joke on you. In an effort to make the students more bonded with each other, the language and fine arts teachers decided to do an assignment together. You were to create a piece whether a portrait or landscape, hell even contemporary, and your literature partner had to either give you a written piece to gain inspiration from or for them to write their interpretation of your artwork. In an effort to save time, since you only had a month to work with, the teachers had randomly assigned partners, the announcement on who got who taped outside their doors. And you felt ready to die when you saw who you got “you’ve got to be shitting me…”

There, in bold mocking black letters, was the name of the one person you didn’t want to see as your designated partner. Not only were you in the same college as someone from your damned high school, but that someone was perfect student, fashion disaster, god of destruction- “Kim Namjoon?”


As if summoned, he had appeared behind you, his deep voice scaring you half to death. You wished you could’ve die of a heart attack right there and then, because when you turn around guess who you fucking see? Yep, that’s right. Your purple eye candy, and by the look on his face he was trying to figure out where he’d seen you before. The air was suddenly disappearing from your lungs.

“______-sshi?” fuck he looked hot when he was confused.

“Hey… What a surprise seeing you here” You averted your eyes from his, hoping that your blush was not noticeable. He looked you over before replying with indifferent in his voice, “I could say the same thing. What are you here for?”
“Fine Arts, I assume you’re doing Literature?” he nodded on response, the three years you haven’t seen each other he had somehow turned into the man of your wet dreams, he’d grown taller which made his once lanky form now perfect, his bowl cut replaced with a shorter and well styled purple hair, his dressing style aesthetically pleasing and his glasses- Well his glasses were still okay, but they looked even better on him now. He leaned forward, looking over you to find his name on the list and you could almost smell his cologne. He hummed to himself once he found what he was looking for, letting out a small sigh. “I see, I guess you want to change partners then? If we hurry we might catch up with Mr. Yuu and-” “-No no its fine! I mean, I wouldn’t want to bother them with this anyways. Its just a silly project, besides we already know each other so it’ll be easier to do this don’t you think?” you rambled, hoping not to sound desperate. He nodded again, “Well, I don’t know about your teacher but this is a big assignment for me. So how about we go somewhere to discuss how to do this?” he smiled. You gave him one of your own, “Sounds great, lead the way please.”

You were fucked.

After your chance encounter, you both walked to a nearby bench where you discussed how you would do the assignment, deciding that you would interpret his poem  with a painting, then exchanging numbers and going your separate ways to start on your work,  making small conversations here and there to relief some of the awkwardness surrounding the both of you. Namjoon had managed to come up with an amazing poem in two weeks leaving you with a week and a half to actually come up with something, but it just wasn’t turning out how you wanted it to. Every piece you started you hated, and you kept redoing and redoing until you were ready to jump the nearest cliff, curse Kim Namjoon and his sexy brain and intellect of the philosophers of ancient Greece, and curse him for doing a poem so involved in romance as well as eroticism without being explicit. Reading it the first time had gotten you a little worked up if you were being honest with yourself, and you wanted that feeling to be conveyed in your art without being explicit, much like his writing. But nothing seemed to work, and you were ready to stab yourself with your dull pencil. You were currently inside one of the art studios, having separated it after hours for the rest of the day since you were determined to not leave until you had something you found decent. Paint covered your skin and your clothes, which consisted of an old peach colored sweater that hid your very comfy black bralette, a pair of washed out shorts and some sandals you discarded somewhere on the floor. You preferred not having shoes when painting, that March Chagall guy was onto something when he said he preferred painting in his underwear. You also decided on wearing a choker because why not? You might need it later to choke yourself to death because art sucks and it looked cute with what you had on. But none of that mattered because you had exactly 5 days, 10 hours, 16 minutes and 5 seconds and counting to come up with something before the deadline, and your canvas was still blank. You laid on the cold floor, picking out your phone from your back pocket and sending your project partner a text.

You: I have nothing.

KN: wdym?????

You: what I said I got nothing

KN: I got that but I mean how come you have nothing?????

KN: time is almost up      

KN: can’t you just throw paint and call it a day?????

You: and look like I half assed it? no way

You: I’d rather die than having my name engraved on some shitty copy of a monnet made by a blind tortoise

KN: ok fine. what if i go and help you interpret it????

You: I would really appreciate that ;-;

You send him the direction to the small studio you were in, rolling on your side and looking at the wall. Okay concentrate, if you just sketch whatever you might get somewhere, yeah okay sounds like a plan. Standing up from the tiled floor, you make your way to the table you were using a few seconds ago and started sketching while letting your mind wander around. It didn’t take long before you started thinking of Namjoon, how much he had changed since you last saw him three years ago, ad how unfair it was that no one told you about this witchcraft beforehand. You wouldn’t admit it openly but the way he looked in the café, with his sleeves rolled up and beads of sweat from the steam on his forehead, it just did something for you. It had you wondering, how would Namjoon look when he was turned on? Your hand stopped and your face flushed, did you really just thought that? What kind of pervert were you becoming? But you couldn’t help it, you kept going with that train of thought, no use fighting it now that it was present, he’s probably a total vanilla sort of guy. Not timid but definitely would always ask before doing something, would he be a tease?  Nah, he doesn’t look like someone that’s patient when they get worked up. He’s most definitely an ass kinda guy, and he prob-

“______-sshi? You there?” His voice pulled you back from your wandering mind, your cheeks flushed with the faintest of pinks from embarrassment, even though he didn’t hear anything because you said it all in your head, “Yeah I’m here, let me open the door for you hold on.” the five minutes it took you to walk over, open the door and letting him in did not prepare you for what you saw. There he was, satan himself, with black dress pants, a white button up, and a blazer that was made out of some sort of shiny material. A black belt keeping his too tight pants up, the top button undone and giving you the perfect view of his collarbones, his hair styled to the side like always, a hand on his pocket and the other with what you guessed was his laptop bag. To make matters worse his fucking glasses looked good on him and you never wanted to punch someone on the face so much for being so sinful with so little effort. You prayed to whatever god was up there to give you strength while you closed the door behind him. Namjoon proceeded to sit on the table you had been a few minutes ago, taking out his computer and starting to get to work and letting you sit next to him. He wasted no time in trying to figure out how to help you, trying to interpret his piece but either you were too dumb or he was too smart because you understood jack shit of anything he said, and it felt like high school all over again when you both were arguing over the first sentence of your essay. Namjoon leans back on the chair, letting out an exasperated groan, you were quick to try and compromise “Alright how about this, tell me what you were thinking of when you wrote this. Maybe that can help me-” You moved towards the canvas, brushes, paint and palette ready to go “-to get the visual of your poem. Just say anything, a shape, feeling, color, whatever.” He raise an eyebrow in confusion at your idea. “Don’t artist usually need visuals to inspire them?” You chuckled looking back at him, “Probably, but I prefer listening. It gives me a better picture and helps the imagination go wild.” You turned back around “So just start talking.”

He kept quiet for a few seconds, probably figuring out if he should say what he was really thinking about when he first wrote it. You could feel his hesitation,“Alright, but don’t make it awkward please?” You gave him a thumbs up, a sign to let him know he was on the clear. “I was thinking of the foreplay before sex.” Fucking hell Kim Namjoon, you can’t just drop that without any warnings. You forced yourself to not seem faced, picked up a random brush and started coloring in the cloth, he kept talking. “You know that feeling of wanting? Of absolute need for the other person you feel before even kissing them? I was thinking about that. Looking at someone at completely wanting to devour them, letting your eyes wander around their body and thinking of everything you would like to do to that person.” You gripped your brush tighter, it was like he read your thoughts and was laying them out in the open for you to reflect. Moving your legs closer together, you gulped “And what would you do to that person?” you asked him, one to keep him talking, two because a part of you really wanted to know for artistic purposes of course. Namjoon fixed his eyes on you, he could tell there was something off about you the moment he got inside the room, what he was trying to figure out is why, so he kept watching your every move for any answers. “Why do you ask?”

You stiffened, “B-because, it helps me think of what to uh- paint about. So just keep talking, please” Your voice a whispers towards the end, he hummed in amusement, resuming his train of thought “It depends on the day, but usually it’s mostly submission.” Of course, you should have known he’s totally a- “There’s something about having a partner completely submissive that’s just really hot. At my complete mercy, ready let me have my way with them.” DOM?! HOLD ON THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION- “Just, seeing them kneeling down in front of you, ready for anything. Begging, pleading, and just completely drunk on the idea of what I can do for them.” Every word was torture for you, everything he said you wanted to do and you wouldn’t mind. Picking another color, you quickly distracted yourself from your thoughts. From where he was sitting he could tell you were getting bothered by his words, and he wanted to see how far he could go before breaking you. A smirk playing on his lips “You okay          -sshi? You look a little uncomfortable.” You jumped slightly at his sudden change in tone, letting out a fake laugh to try and play off how horny he was getting you from those images, the sexual tension in the air rising every time he spoke his dirty thoughts aloud. “I-I’m totally okay! Why are you asking are you uncomfortable? Because we can stop if you want to I’m fine with that” You chuckle, trying to sound convincing and not at all like you’re slowly going mad from his words.

And then it dawned on him,____  ____, the girl who broke his heart three years ago, not even letting him say what he had rehearsed for hours in the mirror, was very attracted to him. Not only did she find him attractive, but she was getting completely turned on by his words. His ego and his confidence rose to a completely different level then, ready to get satisfaction from embarrassing you to the grave right there in that small art room. His smirk widened, “Alright” he lowered his voice purposely “Then I’ll keep going. You know what else can also be a major turn on? Name calling, some people like it when you refer to them with a specific name, like ‘princess’ or ‘kitten’.”

“Do you have something like that?”


If you weren’t soaked before you were now, the room was way too hot and his words were way too filthy this early in the day. You fanned yourself, trying to calm down and hopefully stopping yourself from looking like a damned tomato. “Is the room too warm?” hoW CAN HE SWITCH BACK AND FORTH LIKE THAT HE WAS GOING TO KILL YOU. You nodded, letting out a nervous chuckle “Just a little though, I’ll be okay once the AC starts again.”

“______ -sshi?”


“The AC hasn’t stopped yet.”

“Oh.” curse this damned day, curse the stupid AC, curse his stupid mouth that can probably get you worked up in very different ways.

“Yeah, it’s probably that sweater you have on. Why not take it off? It might cool you down.” He was winning and he knew it, if he kept going he would get you to run out completely mortified in the next three minu-

You put the paint brush down, and reached for the hem of your sweater. Slowly but surely, you pulled it up and over your head, your skin caressed by the cool breeze the fan was giving. It was like unwrapping a present during Christmas, except he didn’t have to do it himself. He watched you drop the item on the floor, not looking back even once. He had to catch his breath, not expecting this turn of events at all. And now he was the one embarrassed, your exposed skin and the real effect his words had on you hitting him like a ton of bricks. You were totally turned on, and he was getting there too, but he was a man with enough pride to last him a lifetime, so he kept going. Not caring if the tent forming in his pants was becoming obvious now.

You may be wondering, what in the living hell are you thinking? The answer is, you’re not. It sounded like a good idea at the moment, but what honestly compelled you to go through with it was his voice. You were loosing your grip on your rationality every time he answered all the questions you had of him in your brain, cursed be Kim Namjoon.


You nodded, not wanting to let a single noise escape your lips.

“Let’s continue then.” You felt his gaze devour your figure “You know, since we’re talking about clothes, why not discuss that? Clothes can be quite a turn on for me if I’m being honest. A girl in heels it’s a great view for me, specially if they have thigh highs on as well. Black lingerie is very much appreciated too, even better if it’s see through” You went rigid after his last words. Bralettes were not lingerie, but your was very much black and also not so much covering your breasts. The black straps creating a triangular shape for your boobs, but the mesh that covered your now hard nipples ended halfway to the strap that was close to the valley of your breasts. A lace pattern decorating the end of the material that Namjoon was dying to see from where he was sitting. So he quietly got up from his seat and walked behind you, and you could feel his presence and it was too much for the both of you to keep your cool and not give in right there and then to what the moment had build up to. He leaned closer to your ear, “Most of all, jewelry has a certain kind of effect. For example,-” his lips ghosted over your neck, his hands deep in his pockets to stop himself from touching you “-that choker you’re wearing. It looks so good wrapped around your neck.”

“Your hands would look nicer though.”

He cursed under his breath not expecting you to react that way, you leaned back towards him and rested your head on his shoulder. His greedy hands finally touching your skin, you closed your eyes while you felt him caress your legs, moving up towards where you wanted him the most at that moment until one gripped your hips and moved you closer to him while the other wrapped around your throat. “Like this?”

“Yes” you almost moaned, feeling his manhood poke at your back. With his hand still on your neck, he coaxes you to stand up. “______, if you want me to stop you better say it now. Because I don’t think I’ll be able to later on.” his warning sounding more like a promise to your ears, and you wanting nothing more than to let him bend you over the table and pleasure you anyway he saw fit. Feeling a little balls-y, you moved your hand towards his crotch, gripping his hardened cock in your hands and earning a hiss from his lips. “Who said I wanted you to?” and then he was gone. He bent you over the table in one swift motion with his hands gripping your waist and holding it in place, paint splattering everywhere and no doubt getting on you, but you couldn’t care less. Specially when he had started to grind his hips against yours, giving you a taste of the mess you had gotten yourself into, each movement getting you more and more worked up until you were panting. He chuckled, “You like that baby? You like having my cock rubbing against your pussy? Look at how much of a mess you are, and I haven’t even touched you properly.” You gripped at the table, nodding in response to him. Dissatisfied with your response, he  stopped moving much to your dismay, instead gripping a fistful of your hair and pulling you towards him again. “Use your voice baby, I won’t know what you want unless you tell me.”

Your voice trembled “P-Please touch me.”


You take the hand that’s still on your waist, moving it between your legs “Here, please, just do anything. I need you to touch me.” You sounded desperate and you knew it, but you couldn’t help it. Not with the way he has you right now, and not while his hands finally start to rub against your core, your moans growing with every motion. He go of you to spin you around and press his lips against yours, you took off his glasses so not to annoy you but apparently he looked even better without them, and you loved it. You loved how he starts to undress you, you loved how he kissed down your jawline and stopped at your neck, you loved how he wasted no time marking you with hickeys in places you knew were gonna be hard to hide, but you specially loved how he pulled back to stare at his creation his dilated pupils drinking in your figure, making him curse loudly. It probably also due to you going back to grope him from over his now too restrictive pants that he needed to take off right now. Namjoon pulls back completely,  confusing you entirely until you see him sit back on the chair he’d been watching you from and motioned for you to follow, except-

“Nu uh, I want to see you crawl.”

He could have asked you to run around church naked and you would still do it, so you had no hesitation to get down on all fours and crawl all the way until you were between his legs. He cradled your face and leaned in to kiss you again, this time softer than the last, while also unbuckling his belt and pushing down his black dress pants, letting his cock finally free from its clothed prison. You gave him one last peck before getting down to business, licking the pre-cum off his tip and dragging your tongue down his shaft. A hiss pulled out of his lips at your gentle motions, but he needed more, “Don’t tease me baby, I want to see what that pretty mouth of yours wrapped around my cock.” And who were you to deny total Dom, filthy mouthed, wet dream, Kim Namjoon of his pleasure? So you do just that, and take him in slowly in your mouth. Savoring every second until you can feel your nose touch his pelvis, and staying there for as long as you can until you had to pull back and get air inside your lungs again, which was short lived since he immediately pushed you back down on him. You gripped his thighs, needing to hold on to something to so not to fall down completely on the floor, and with a fistful of your hair, he let you bob your head up and down, picking the pace up every time, his curses and groans giving you motivation while he got rid of his shirt and blazer.

Then you were pulled back again, a lewd 'pop’ resonating through the walls while saliva ran down your mouth and to your neck. Not even his old high school  fantasies of you compared to the sight you were providing right now, you were ruined but not enough for his liking, and he needed to fix that soon. Moving you back with a soft yank of your hair (that you couldn’t deny you liked) he guided you to the floor, turning you around and making you get on all fours for him, and getting your clothes off your body. Gripping himself, he teased your entrance with his tip, and you moved your hips back to make him go in already, but he had other plans for you, “Tell me how much you want it, I wanna hear you loud and clear baby.” He demanded, and even if you were desperate for him, you were still a little shy about being more vocal. He smacked your ass roughly when you stayed quiet for too long, and you yelped, “C'mon baby, I can spank you the whole day if I have to until you say what I want to hear.” he whispered in your ear while massaging the reddening cheek, he most definitely left a hand print on your ass. You gulped, unsure to whether to keep quiet and getting another one or saying your dirtiest thoughts aloud, his other hand landing on your unmarked cheek when you took too long to think about it, he tried a gentler tactic and pushed two fingers easily inside of you. You were practically dripping for him, and the cold metal of his rings against your heat was driving you wild every time he pumped his digits in and out of you painfully slow. “Fuck, Namjoon-” a loud moan"-Just fuck me please. Ruin me, with your cock, don’t stop until I can’t take it anymore.“ A whimper “Have your way with me, please” he pulled his fingers out of you, the emptiness to cruel. You looked back at him, confused and a little pissed off that he had stopped.

His face was completely different from before, unlike the cool and calmed expression he’d been wearing this whole time, was replaced by one of pure surprise as he painfully gripped himself so to calm down, then he locked eyes with you “Shit- Damn baby,-” he placed his hands gently on your hips aligning himself with your entrance, “-you have such a filthy mouth on you, I almost came just from that.” He started pushing himself inside your walls, mercilessly slow, turning you into a moaning mess from how deliciously he stretched you, “Fuck, you feel so nice around my cock. Do you like that? You like how good my dick feels inside you? Do you like how fucking desperate I got you without even moving baby?” a chorus of 'yes’ seemed to be the only thing coming out of your lips, you could feel him filling you up entirely, and then more and you couldn’t wait for him to just destroy you “Namjoon please-” you begged him, and he didn’t need you to repeat yourself again. His thrusts were powerful, every time he pulled back he went back in with more force, the grip on your hips tightening until the pain dulled into pleasure. The top part of your body fell down in exhaustion, the new angle providing even more ecstasy for the both of you, taking you to your arousal faster and faster, his sinful words becoming filthier and slurred as he reached his, his satoori more present than ever. He reached down to grip your neck, and with an extra rough thrust, you came hard, screaming his name clear and loud for the unfortunate person who walked by the room to hear. He let you go, pulling out and and releasing his seed all over your back, catching you and himself as you both collapsed on the paint covered floor. Both of you equally spent from your little improv session, the only thing noises left being both of your gasps as you tried to catch your breath, your bodies covered in sweat and cum (and markings but that was just you, courtesy of Kim Namjoon).

After a few minutes, realization dawned on both of you. You just had sex, together, in the art room, with each other, instead of working on your project. Awkward didn’t begin to describe the feeling in the room, Namjoon broke the silence first “So, how’s that for inspiration?” you couldn’t help but laugh, the guy gave you the best fuck of your life and he’s choosing now to act shy? “You know, maybe I need another explanation from you.” it was his turn to chuckle now, “Well you’re always welcome to call me for anything.”



You both received the highest scores in your assignment, and you also  kept calling each other for anything.

And you mean anything.

I… I told you once… that I am not a hero. Obviously, I was right because otherwise you would still be here.
There were times when I didn’t think that I was a human, but it doesn’t matter. You were my moral compass. You were simply the best man I’ve ever known. You kept me right. You believed in me. No one will ever convince me that you were just an ordinary human.
I was so alone… and I owe you so much. But please, there’s just one more thing, one more thing, one more miracle, John. For me. Don’t. Be. Dead. Would you do that… just for me? I’m begging you… come back.

★*゚‘゚・Taylor Swift (Unreleased)

here is a bunch of sentence starters of lyrics from taylor swifts unreleased music. ( this is part one)

❝ Yeah, I slept in my makeup again ❞
❝ He tried to teach me from the very start the meaning of love so nobody breaks my heart  ❞
❝ I have always been a bit reckless ❞
❝ I’m fine just a bit of a mess ❞
❝ And sometimes I think of you late at night. I don’t know why ❞
❝ I want to be everything you need ❞
❝ Let me love you ❞
❝ Life’s so sweet right here ❞
❝ We don’t have to do things their way ❞
❝ I’d have never guessed that starting over would look so good on you ❞
❝ So many things that I forgot to say ❞
❝ I should’ve let you know all the ways you made me feel alive ❞
❝ I’d say the chances of that are getting slim ❞
❝ If you ever wondered still got the same old number; just in case ❞
❝ I must’ve been crazy to let you get away ❞
❝ Any day now, they’re talking war ❞ 
❝ I always knew this time would come ❞
❝ This crazy world’s come undone ❞
❝ I knew I wasn’t gonna take this very well ❞
❝ I’ll pray for you and me and hope I’m right  ❞
❝ I don’t want to jinx my luck ❞
❝ Do you believe in miracles? ❞
❝ I got me a nice new apartment. In a city, wouldn’t you have hated that? ❞
❝ He was lying when he said he moved to L.A.. He’s just hiding out on the other side of town ❞
❝ Won’t you come back to me? ❞
❝ It’s scary how things change ❞
❝ And didn’t they call you? Didn’t they need you bad enough?  ❞
❝ Don’t walk away now ❞
❝ Honey where are you? ❞
❝ Little that I knew love is different when you play the fool ❞
❝ Don’t you make cry tonight like you always do ❞ 
❝ Things are meant to happen like this I know it’s right for you ❞
❝ Don’t hate me for loving you ❞
❝ There are people you just come back to ❞
❝ I won’t tell nobody ❞
❝ Maybe we’ll stop talking and I’ll haunt you like a ghost ❞
❝ For a while I thought that I could hold you, but you were just a temporary high. ❞
❝ I like to think I’d be all that you wanted. Not even that is enough ❞
❝ It’s nice to know you’re here ❞
❝ Don’t try me ❞
❝ Don’t fight me ❞
❝ You never met a mirror that you didn’t look again into ❞
❝ I came out alive but i’m black and blue  ❞
❝ I know that you ain’t used to no ❞
❝ And I’ll bet, you thought you’d beat me  ❞
❝ You were wrong and I was right ❞ 
❝ Please don’t leave tonight ❞
❝ You know I would die before I let them see me cry  ❞
❝ Let me think I’m strong ❞
❝ I need reasons why you’re leaving ❞
❝ Could’ve sworn you said you loved me. I guess heard you wrong ❞
❝ Honestly believe you’d be there ❞
❝ Nothing comes true, when it comes to you ❞
❝ I don’t have a plan, I don’t have a map. I don’t even know if I’m ever going back ❞
❝ I got a lying smile I never pulled out for you  ❞
❝ I waited half my life just to find someone like you ❞
❝ They say it’s better to have lost than never to have loved at all. And I say, whoever said that didn’t have too far to fall ❞
❝ I’ve burned my bridges, had sleepless nights, washed my sins on the neon lights, and I’m still not over you ❞
❝ There wasn’t much love to lose

❝ Sometimes I wait to answer just to hear you say my name ❞

Second Chance

Originally posted by trainingpanda

ship: shownu x [y/n]

genre: angst + fluff

word count: 1623

warning: swearing (only a little bit hehe)

a/n: oh glob… i’m so sorry if it’s kinda meh ;-; i’m not good at writing fluff ;-; sorry but i hope you like it! i apologize for any grammatical errors ;u;


Everything that you hold on dearly would always perish. 

Just like the relationship you had with him.

The first few months of being in a relationship with him was heaven. It was filled with sweet affections, thousands of ‘i love you’s and ‘i miss you’s despite seeing each other just hours ago. 

Your heart would jump another meter away every time he leans in and places a kiss on your cheeks, your stomach would have thousands of butterflies flapping around every time he stared right into your eyes. Every time you’re with him, you felt like you were in cloud nine. 

For you, he was everything that you ever needed.

Shownu, or may I say Hyunwoo, was a man of few words but he was well-respected by those around him. But when he’s with you, he would become a chatterbox which would surprise those who barely know anything about it. 

Being in a relationship with him was something that you’ve never dreamed off. He was someone who was out of your reach but miracles do happen, for a girl like you who doesn’t really believe in miracles. 

Everything was smoothly going well not until it reached a year and a half when everything started to crumble down. Shownu was preoccupied with all his schedule and responsibilities as a leader. All the frequent phone calls and text messages that the two of you always had before was replaced by just a phone call or text message a day to no calls or even messages for a whole straight week.

From ‘i love you’s and ‘I miss you’s to nothing. It went on like that for a couple of weeks filled with breakdowns and loneliness. After a couple of drinks, you’ve finally had enough. You had enough of being forgotten by someone whom you’ve grown greatly attached to.

Sadly gazing down on your smartphone’s screen, you read the text over and over again before pressing the send button.

to: Hyunwoo (11:32 pm)

Let’s break up.

That was it. There was no way in hell that you were going to back out now. Having your heart torn into thousands of pieces, only to pick them up and put them back together after receiving a message or two from him was utterly exhausting for you already.

Leaning back on your couch with your eyes tightly close, you couldn’t help but let out a shaky sigh. The sound of your heart pounding so loudly against your rib cage was the only thing that kept you going. Finally feeling a buzz beside your thighs, you picked your phone up with trembling hands.

Three words, three syllables, thirteen characters but thousands of meaning. 

from: Hyunwoo (11:35 pm)

I’ll be there. 

You could feel your throat run dry. This was not the reply that you wanted. This was not the way how you wanted it to be. It wasn’t in your plan. You wanted to end everything via text and not see him anymore but there he was, telling you that he was gonna come barging in your apartment any time soon.

Throwing your phone out of anger, you let out a frustrated groan with your hands tightly clutched onto your hair. Fuck, fuck, what do I do?! you mentally asked as you paced fro and to.

Hands starting to get clammy by the second passed. It was no use to hide anymore, might as well just face it. Feeling your throat going dry, you waltz your way to the kitchen counter and poured some water on your cup. 

Gulping down every last drop, you could help but let out a sigh. The room was pretty suffocating, especially when the only thing that you can hear was utter silence. Suddenly, your front door clicked open and the sound of footsteps got closer and closer until it stopped right behind you.


Why, of all times, end it now? That was the question that Shownu couldn’t speak out. You couldn’t force yourself to turn around and face him fully. You stood there with your back facing him.

“I want to end everything, Hyunwoo… I can’t be the only person in this relationship to continue hurting just because the other has already forgotten about my very existence…” 

Forgotten? With his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Shownu takes a step forward before grabbing you by the arm, turning you around to face him. “I’ve never forgotten you, [y/n]–”

“Well, what do you call those months without any messages or calls, huh?! Do you call that ‘giving attention’? No, Hyunwoo, fucking no. It’s not. You do not know how many sleepless nights I’ve spent bawling my eyes out because of how much my heart hurts…. how much I needed you to be here with me and how much I yearned your attention…”

You could feel a lump in your throat, tears welling up in the corner of your eyes. All the pain and emotions that you’ve held back were pushing their way out of that damned bottle that you’ve been storing them for ages. 

“I missed you, Hyunwoo, I missed you so so much..” you croaked, the tears finally betrayed and slid down your cheeks without stopping. Shownu froze in his spot. His heart shattering at the sight of the woman whom he loved so much hurting because of him. 

“[y/n]…” his voice trailing off, arms reaching out to pull you into a hug but only to be swatted away by you. “Don’t touch me!” 

Guilty was written on his face. Never has he ever imagined that the day when he hurts you finally came. “How come you still have the audacity to reach out for me when throughout these past months, you didn’t reach out to me when I needed you the most?”

“I told you to call or text me, didn’t I?!”

Scoffing at his remark, you looked away from him and barked, “How could I ever bring myself to call or text you when I know you wouldn’t even reply or answer all my damned texts and calls?!”

“[y/n]… I–”

Your hand cracks across his face, snapping it back with the force of his blow and causing his head to reel. The mark of your hand was becoming more prominent on his right cheek, turning bright red like a monkey’s butt.

Freezing on your spot, a loud gasp left your lips and you couldn’t believe what you’ve just done.

O-omo… I… I’m so… sorry.” you panicked as you quickly went closer to him, hands touching the mark that you’ve created. Large tears left Shownu’s eyes, lips quivering from the shock. “Hyunwoo… oh God… I’m so sorry. I-I got caught up with my own emotions..”

Turning his head towards you, his eyebrows were furrowed and the words that left his lips made you more guilty of what you’ve just done. “Do you really want to end it, [y/n]? Can’t you give me a second last chance?”

Second chance…. those words repeated themselves over and over again inside your mind. He’s right…. I’ve never heard his side, and here I am, slapping him..

“If you were to choose, Hyunwoo, from these two choices: career or me , which one would you really pick?”  

Hope glowed in your eyes. Your heart was beating loudly against your chest as you were growing nervous by the minute. Shownu looks directly into your eyes and answers without any hesitation.

“I’d choose you, [y/n].” 

“But if you choose me, why didn’t you communicate with me?” You asked with your hand cupping his cheeks. “I wasn’t able to communicate with you because I was working so hard in order for me and my boys to earn well… in order for me to finally get my phone back..”

“Even if it’s the end of the world, I would work my bones out until I finally get my phone back…. so that I could talk to you again. I had to focus on my career for a moment before I could focus on you again.” 

Shownu’s eyes was filled with sincerity and you knew that. His mouth was then tugged downwards, only to be replaced by a faint smile right away. “Even afterall this time, [y/n], I’d still choose you.”

That was it. That was the only thing that made you a lot guiltier. Bursting out into tears, you couldn’t help but pull him into a tight hug, muttering countless apologies here and there. “I’m so sorry, Hyunwoo… I’m so sorry for misunderstanding and for being self-centered..”

Shaking his head against yours, he plants a couple of kisses on your head as he caress your back, shushing you. “No, it’s my fault, I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t want to end this relationship of ours, Hyunwoo… I really don’t want to end it.” you muttered against his broad chest. Feeling his chest rumble against your cheeks, you looked up to see a smiling Shownu.

“You’re so cute, babe.” He mutters while kissing away the tears that have fallen. Running his fingers through your brown locks, he bloops your nose with a big smile. “Stop crying. C’mon now, let’s go and eat some ice cream to cheer this baby of mine.”

“Alright… but will you forgive me Hyunwoo?”

Without any warnings, Shownu didn’t think twice but to press his luscious, plump lips on yours, catching you off-guard. Wrapping your arm around his necks, you pulled him closer to you to deepen the kiss.

As heated as the sun, the kiss was gonna turn into a different way, not until your stomach decided to grumble so loudly that it made Shownu to pull away and laugh.

“Aigoo, the kiss might have to wait for a while. Let me go and cook you my famous kimchi fried rice.”

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them sentence starters part two
  • “ I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. I thought you were different. “
  • “ You can control it. “
  • “ You can’t Obliviate them.  “
  • “ I’m not one of Grindelwald’s fanatics, (name)”
  • “You better have an excellent excuse for this intrusion “
  • “ Who’s been killed? “
  • “ Slight problem is that, um, they’re invisible. “
  • “ Because I like you. Because you’re my friend. And I’ll never forget how you helped me (name)”
  • “ I’m not flirting. “
  • “ First trip to New York? “
  • “ Anything edible in there? “
  • “  This is a beast. No human could do what this thing is capable of. “
  • “ Whatever it is, one thing is clear, it must be stopped. “
  • “   You’re no longer an Auror. “
  • “ I do know a few things, actually. I know that you have rather backwards laws about relations with Non-Magic people. “
  • “ That you’re not meant to befriend them. That you can’t marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me. “
  • “ And that is exactly why they accuse me of favoritism. “
  • “  They have some attachment issues.”
  • “ Oh, don’t worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinking first time they see me. “
  • “ I don’t think I’m dreaming. “
  • “ I ain’t got the brains to make this up. ‘
  • “ What did you do today, (name)? I was inside a suitcase. “
  • “ Well, I’m sure people like you, too, huh? “
  • “ I annoy people. “
  • “ But why would I have to wear something like this? “
  • “ You fought in the war? “
  • “ Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry? “
  • “  Well, my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice. “
  • “ You are a miracle. “
  • “ Think of what we could achieve together. “
  • “ Do you think you can hold me? “
  • “ Who does this law protect? Us? Or them? “
  • “ I refuse to bow down any longer. “
  • “  A quiet life for me from now on.  “
  • “ Nothing in there is dangerous. “
  • “ They aren’t dangerous! Please! They’re not dangerous! “
  • “ Don’t hurt those creatures. “
  • “ No, a guide to help people understand why we should be protecting these creatures instead of killing them “
  • “ That was an accident. “
  • “ Come on, give me a smile. “
  • “ I think we need to talk. “
  • “ Is there a school? A wizardry school ?”
  • “ Come with me. “
  • “ He has broken one of our most sacred laws. “
  • “ I was never even supposed to be here. “
  • “ Hey, (name), why did you keep me around? “
  • “ I was never supposed to know any of this. “
  • “  - surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet. Humans. “
How I found this place...

just going to repost my long post to you…

Hi Jess (jamesandclairefraser), I just wanted to write you some lines. I finally managed to get my own tumblr account (Iwillloveyouforeverandaday —> I just couldn´t come up with something else *lol* I was thinking quite a while how I´m gonna name my blog something that relates to S/C and their love.) Anyways I´m the anon that told you the other day that I promised myself to get a tumblr account IF you ever come back here (german83 anon). Well here I am. :-)

I´m also the anon with the “4th of Jan. theory” the other day…there is actually so much more to my theory but since the “ask” frame only allows limited words I couldn´t write a novel then…well let me explain some more why I think Sam was in LA….first of all Cait had this specific interview, was it Jan. 5 (Thursday)? Sometime around that day when she was asked, if Sam is coming to the GG and she answered “Maybe….I don´t know….” and she laughs it off….so why would she even say something LIKE THAT if she knew exactly that he is NOT in the STATES and definitely NOT attending??? Because he was THERE in LA! There´s no other logical reason to it IMO! Also the anon sighting saying Cait was with a ginger…..and also Cait saying in one interview “we were…” and then cuts off…..So they probably thought about them both attending and maybe outing them right there. Sometime around that time they must have met with their bosses or someone “in charge” and discuss something regarding their relationship and putting a stop to let me call it “faking a sh** show”. I also think their “bosses” or whoever agreed and let them “free” to live their lives on their terms. I also think they thought it through that attending the GG together what cause too much attention so they agreed on a slow reveal and he flies back on Friday or something when he twittered he wants a snack #peanuts  and to be honest, that is something you usually get on a plane. I would bet money on it, he actually was a HAPPY af guy to fly back knowing from now on they are free…a day later we got the twitter fest and him staying up all night for his love of his life. I mean be honest. Would you stay up all night for just a co-worker going all crazy and loved up on your twitter after you just came back from a 14 hours flight??? Usually the answer should be no, unless you LOVE them more than anything!  They wanted to be free and live their lives without hiding and I truly believe that if you hide a relationship for years and can´t be real, it can also break you cos you have to be careful what to say, what to do and that is just not fun at all. It puts too much pressure on people faking to be someone they are not. Just look at the BAFTA´s, that just tells you everything you need to know, I´m still asking myself WHY? Why would someone be so cruel and put strings on such lovely people like Sam and Cait are. I just don´t understand it. If there was some kind of punishment for something, then that person putting strings on them, belongs behind bars. One thing I def. believe that they were forced into this. Cos between their christmas video 2015 and Jan. 2016 there was a 180° change . That would also explain why Sam became so shy and reserved at interviews from last year….he was not allowed to tell the truth and probably he is also not so good in lying or faking something. That´s when a person usually becomes quiet and let other people talk. It would also answer why he answered the question “what is the best thing that happened to you in 2016?” in Leanne Aguilera´s interview from beginning of December in the way he did. Cait answered that she went on a long vacation, you could hear him thinking “oh shit what am I gonna say? I loved that vacation as well…can´t give the same answer….people think we´re only friends…..hmm….shit….what am I gonna say now….arrrghhhhh….????” and there it goes….Sam what was your best thing in 2016? and when it was his turn he´s mumbling something about work and looks at Cait telling her with his eyes….“Babe what am I suppose to say? Can´t give the same answer” I think that´s why she makes fun of his answer, her best thing was away from work and his at work…..lol…..I get why Cait said this to him….probably because she´s sneaky thinking “Babe we had so much fun on our vacation and you answer work?! ö_Ö ??? But don´t worry honey, I know you can´t answer this ;-) ”

So that for now on this “topic”

So let me tell you in a shortcut something about me, I´m Sim (33) from Germany (Eastern Part of Germany) the part that tore down walls 27 years ago because they were sick of feeling imprisoned and spied on and wanted to be free.

Anyways I found Outlander in May 2015 that was the first time they advertised Outlander on VOX being aired in June. From the first time I saw the little trailer I was hooked and so fascinated. So after watching season 1 I was in AWWWW and couldn´t wait for the DVD´s to get out, so after these came out I binged watched the whole season again in 2 days…Since I knew it would still be a long time until season 2 comes out I watched probably every single video of Sam and Cait on youtube. Then season 2 came out in April which I watched online the day it aired in the US, from that day on I started reading the books. Read book 1-4, must say I never read such a thick book of 1.200 pages ever before not even to speak of 4 books….well I read book 3 in 2 weeks, which is a miracle speed in my words, reading pretty much day and night….I loved it so much, I probably read the printshop scene 10 times or more….I just loved it so much. So between Jamie/Claire and googling Sam/Cait I was going back and forth….I was just so amazed by their love that they have for each other it´s hard to miss it. I still can´t believe how people can miss it…..THAT is what you call LOVE, their glances at each other, touches, smiles, their locked eyes. Very rare to find in this world and you are lucky if you find someone who looks at you like that and you feel the same way about them. Like Cait used to say “sometimes the stars align”.

So end of last summer I found  your blog and some others (yellowfeather84, queencaitriona, balfeheughlywed, sablelab, mamatumblz, sassynach, wanderingsummerbreeze, cb4tb, samcait4ever, nopromissessassenach, trixen, etc.) which I LOVE reading and enjoy so much….

There is so much positivity here and I love how I found a good place to be informed about my two favorite people Sam & Cait. I´m also amazed how many good people are on here and celebrate the love between these two. Still can´t think of reasons why some higher powers try to take this part of the fandom apart. Just doesn´t get into my head. For me it´s like we are celebrating their love and support them in everything they do, that´s all we do and I find nothing bad about it! When you deleted your blog last November, I was pretty down and mad coz to me you did nothing wrong. You didn´t harass anyone or put shit out there, all you did was trying to put out positivity and love. That´s why I loved reading your blog otherwise I wouldn´t be here coz I hate reading negativity and hatred. That always makes me sick to my stomach and my heart sink. I just remember Ellen Degeneres once said “if you have nothing nice to say, don´t say anything at all and be quiet”. It´s been years she said it on her show and it sticks with me since then…

well another thing that weirdly connects me to Cait and Outlander is that I have been to Scotland once and the day I put my foot on Scottish ground was September 11, 2013 at Glasgow airport. It gives me kinda chills that I found out that this day is her castaversary. I have no idea if she landed in Glasgow on that day as well or just got the job on that day but for me it will be always special that I was there on THAT particular day which started the journey that I´m all into now. I did a 6 day round trip through Scotland and the highlands with my best friend cause I loved Scotland so much and always wanted to go. At that time I didn´t know about Diana Gabaldon´s books and all that. And for the last two years all the pieces fall into place and start making sense and my love of Scotland just grews bigger and bigger.

so that for now. :-) Just want to tell you, you are a great person, it truly shines through, don´t let anyone tell you something else. Sending you lots of love! ´til later!  💖