My heart hurts. I am praying that none of you were among the injured or the dead. I am praying that none of you know someone who was. This hurts me so badly. I don’t personally know anyone affected. I feel as though I’m mourning over 22 people I will never know.
Georgina Callander was one of the 22 who were killed in the attack. I didn’t know Gina, but she was all over my twitter feed this morning. Her account made me smile. She was a huge fangirl who had the chance to meet so many of her favorite celebrities. She was a big member of the family I call Team Internet. To me, anyone who loves and supports the members of this crazy online platform is a member of this crazy family. Joe shared a picture he took with Gina and multiple members of Team Internet responded with heartbreak. It is clear to me that Gina was a big part of this family. I feel like I have lost a distant relative. What are the chances that one of the 22 was one of us? I think about this account and how many followers I have who I don’t know and never will know. I wonder if one of them was Gina. I wonder if I have lost other family members I will never know.
I tend to get overly emotional about things like this. I am just some girl in Michigan. I guess I just can’t believe that we live in a world of such evil. And I hate that that evil has taken a member of Team Internet. Like I said, I feel like I have lost a distant relative.
I don’t know what else to say. I have BBC news on and I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Good news? An announcement that it’s all a prank? Another catastrophe designed by Sam Pepper for an elaborate video? I know the reality but I’m in denial. I hate this. I hate that we have to be afraid of going to concerts. I hate that I have a play for my friend tonight an I’m scared to go. I hate that my mom is at work and I want her home. Such trivial things to be worried about. I hate the fear that terrorism spreads across the world. I hate that this terrorist targeted teenagers. Children. What was his goal? What did the 8-year-old girl who was so excited to see Ariana do to him? What did Gina do to him? I know he wanted mass destruction (that’s what terrorists want, right?) but I can’t fathom this. This is unfair. This is cowardly.
I’m sorry my words haven’t come out as well as I wanted them to. I guess I just don’t know what to say. I am heartbroken. I wanted to wake up this morning unaffected by it all, but it’s hitting me hard and I don’t know why, and I don’t like it.
They just showed a picture of Gina on BBC and I had to look away. She was so happy and now she is gone.
I don’t know if the UK had the childhood show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. It was a lovely children’s show about a man named Mr. Rogers who would teach us about life and good things and treated us all like neighbors. He once said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” That’s what I’m trying to do. Trying to focus on the emergency response team. Trying to focus on the line that was waiting to donate blood for those injured. Trying to focus on the hotels offering room for those who need help. Trying to focus on the people online who are helping people find their loved ones. Trying to find any glimmer of hope in this dark world.
They’re talking about Donald Trump on BBC right now and I don’t want to hear about this orange man and his plans in the middle east. He called those behind the attack evil losers. I’m sorry but what? Where’s Obama and his smooth and caring words of assurance and love?
I am praying for everyone who has been affected by this. I’m praying for Gina. Please stay safe. If you’re in Manchester, STAY HOME. I know that your government is saying that the threat is still high, that there is a high chance of another attack. Please, I am begging you, stay home. Keep your family close. Call your friends, make sure they’re okay. Please, please stay safe. Don’t let the bad guys win.
When I was going through Gina’s twitter, I saw that she was a big fan of the show Once Upon a Time. Snow White and Charming used to say Good can’t just lose. Good will always win. That’s what we have to say. We can’t let evil win. Good. Can’t. Lose. If we stand together and hold each other close, good will win.
I’m sorry I can’t do more. I’m sorry my words are falling a bit flat. Just know that my prayers are for all of you who have been affected by this. Please stay safe. The world is a scary place.
Here is an emergency contact number. I don’t know what this means but they keep showing it on TV so I feel like it’s important to share:
0800 096 0095