if anyone ever asks me to say grace i'm totally doing this

anonymous asked:

Okay so I'm not sure if you've seen the meme but How would the bros react to being at a party at their s/o's house and they ask, "Daddy can you pass the (what ever here)." And both their dad and said bro reach for the item.

I have seen this meme and its absolutely glorious! I could only think of a scenario with the oldest four, I’m a bit stuck with Jyuushi and Totty. Like help please!

Osomatsu’s s/o had invited him to eat with them and their family. It was nice,[Name]’s father was someone he was surprisingly getting along with, hopefully Oso remained on their dad’s good side. He spent most of his time with his s/o and their dad until [Name]’s mother had called them for dinner.

“Hey, dad, can you pass me some salt?” [Name] asked. Without realizing, Oso reached over the table and was about to reach for the salt when he saw another hand reach for it. Wait? What?

“Alright, [Name].”

“Sure, babe!”

Osomatsu stared at the other hand and saw that it was [Name]’s father that was reaching for the salt as well. The red Matsu was confused at first when he realized that he wasn’t the only “daddy” here. Both Oso and [Name]’s dad stared at one another in total silence until the older male had broke the silence.




“…What?” Oso repeated (his voice going up a slight octave higher the second time due to nerves), hoping to diverge his attention from the whole ordeal by being oblivious the horrendous situation he had mistakenly put himself in.

“Can one of you guys just pass me the salt already!”

Karamatsu had been invited to stay for dinner with his love’s family. He gladly accepted, seeing how this was his opportunity to get on their family’s good side for future references. Dinner was served by [Name]’s mother, who was a sweet angel just like his s/o. Their father seemed like a good fellow he could be able to get along with. Karamatsu continued to his usual (albeit painful) spiel, much to his s/o’s dismay, complimenting on their mother’s cooking and somehow the didn’t find it painful.

“Oh my, [Name] didn’t tell me you were so smooth with words!” their mother chuckled, [Name] sighed and continued to eat, although with their mother’s constant gushing it was a bit hard to ignore her.

“Hey, dad, can you pass me some Sriracha sauce?” they asked. Karamatsu instinctively reached out for the sauce. 

“Anything for my sweet, Karamatsu love!” Karamatsu said and saw his hand wasn’t the only one on the bottle. The painful Matsu tensed up, realizing what he had said. [Name]’s dad narrowed his eyes at him.


“I-I mean–!!”

“Oh shit…” [Name] sighed, face palming their forehead.

“Oh, sweetie don’t be so harsh on him, we had our own moments so let them have theirs!” [Name]’s mother huffed. Immediately [Name] gaped at their mother with wide-eyes.


Choromatsu was a nervous wreak at the moment, he had no idea what to say or do next. It was just a simple dinner with [Name] and their parents. Simple. Just each your food, thank them, give [Name] a kiss, and leave. That’s all, Choromatsu, this shouldn’t be any different than eating dinner with his family (if anything is should be at least easier with his s/o’s parents!)….EASIER SAID THEN DONE! The shy frog could barely even get through his soup.

“Uh, Choromatsu…are you alright?” his s/o asked, worried about his current state. Choromatsu snapped his attention back to them and gave them a smile.

“It’s fine, [Name], just a bit nervous that’s all…”

“I see,” [Name] nodded. They gave him a quick nod and took a sip of their soup. Hm, the taste seemed a bit off.

“Hey, uh, dad, do you think you can pass me the pepper?” they asked. 

“Here, [Name],” their father was about to pass the pepper when he saw Choromatsu’s arm stretched out to reach the pepper. Wait a minute, what the hell was he doing?!

“I-I–” Choro gaped, realizing his actions. What the heck was this?! H-he was sure that he had never been called such a name, but yet here he was reaction to the name, Was it due to his own sense of responsibility that he was doing his.

“Choromatsu, I said dad, not mom.” [Name] please don’t do this to him…

(mod: mom kink anyone??? call the green bean mom guys)

Ichimatsu had no idea how he was able to be invited to have dinner with his s/o and their family. Trash like him. He pitied his s/o’s family to be graced his his trashy self.

“Cheer up, Ichi, it won’t be that bad…” his s/o said. He grumbled in response. Although on the inside, he was panicking. Would he end up f–king this up or worse? 

“Fine…” he grumbled. Not like he can f–k this up anymore that he can now. 

Dinner was…relatively calm. It was soothing to a cat like him. He ate his dinner in silence, hoping to just finish eating, leave, and hope to never experience this ever again. [Name] glanced back at him, knowing that he was racked with anxiety. [Name] tasted their dinner and thought to themselves. The taste was good but it could be better.

“Hey, dad,” they called out to their father, “can you pass me some salt?”

“Sure, [Name],” their father said.

“…I got it…” Ichimatsu answered as well. Both male reached over and paused seeing each other’s hand at the same place. Ichi had his usual dead expression on, but oh god was he panicking like there was no tomorrow.

“Oh jeez…” [Name] sighed. There was total silence at the table until their mother spoke up.

“My, [Name], I didn’t think you two would get that far!”


The Valdangelo Fic With Fights And Kisses And Snark


the one that killed Haven and Nils with feels

Foul language ahead, yo. In three different languages. Multilingual curses woohoo :D


Jason very nearly groaned at Nico’s growl. Nico and Leo had been at each other’s throats far more than usual recently, but this really was not the time to be fighting with each other, not right after they’d spent forever fighting a huge tentacle monster of some sort. What they needed now was to get the ship sailing, which Leo couldn’t do with a pissed off son of Hades on his ass.

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anonymous asked:

Eliot, Parker, and Hardison together is probably one of the best parts of the show tbh. They're just- amazing together? And it's wonderful? And I'd say more, but I honestly have no idea what goes where at this point because I watch random episodes too freely, and I really don't want to spoil anything. But, favorite character? Favorite episode? I'm curious and loving watching you get into this series, I'm sorry. Thanks for responding to my first ask!

omg of course!!!

okay i LOVE THEM SO MUCH. LOVE THEM. psa i’ve totally finished the whole series because i have no self preservation instincts.

okay so my favorite character has to be hardison because out of all of them he’s the most ‘normal’ in comparison. not like, in his abilities or his wants, but in his ability to relate to other people. he’s been through rough shit, and he always comes out kinder and stronger and more loving. and i love him the most because he’s the one who could mostly be happy living among normal people, to be honest i feel as if he needs the team the least but wants them the most. he could be a nine to five hacker, just presents himself as a genius geek who works from home or even gets himself an office or whatever, and live a mostly normal life among normal people. he just - for the shit he’s been through, he doesn’t have all that much baggage. normal people dont confuse him or bore him, they’re not a mark like they are for sophie, a puzzle for parker, a mass of mistakes and faults for nate, a potential threat for eliot. they’re just people.

and because hardison doesn’t try to put people into boxes is why he loves this team so much and so unabashedly from the start. for people that are so defined by their role on the team, he doesn’t define them. nate questions eliot’s ability to cook and be a hitter, but hardison just takes it in stride. this is eliot, he’s an amazing cook, great at wines, spends more time on his hair than any girl hardison has ever known, and he knows 43 ways to kill someone with a plastic butter knife. cool. he never wants anyone to change, he supports them if they choose to change, but he doesn’t ask anyone to be what they are and instead does his best to change himself in the way that he relates to them. and he tries so hard and so much. sophie and nate, they’re on another level, a little to arrogant, a little too bitter for it to work.

but eliot and parker man. fuck. talk about two people who’ve spend almost their whole lives being told how they had to be and how what they were wasn’t good enough, wasn’t right. and then hardison comes in and just. is there. protecting and caring for them without asking anything in return. and parker and eliot keep waiting for the other foot to drop, for there to be some sort of catch in how hardison just keeps being there for them, but it never comes. and at some point down the line they finally accept that this is how hardison is, and how they kinda cant live without him anymore, which a whole new different realization for another reason.

just. the thing that gets me about this OT3 is that every single one of them feels like they got lucky, like they’re the ones dating up. parker has eliot who understands her, and hardison who’s patient and so good to her, and she looks at these mostly normal guys and wonders why they’re bothering with her and her weirdness and hang ups and insecurities when they could be having a normal relationship with each other. eliot looks at parker, the best thief, and hardison, the smartest man he’s ever known, and he knows he’s not the best hitter in the world, that even if he was that he can’t sustain that, and parker and hardison are criminals but they’re not murderers and they’re kind to each other and good to each other and can touch each other without worrying if they’re smearing blood on their lover’s skin from the countless people that have died under their hands, and just, eliot considers himself the soiled, bad man who’s potentially ruining a perfectly healthy, if not normal, relationship between people who’ve never gotten their hands dirty. and hardison looks at beautiful and graceful parker, and eliot who shifts between controlled finesse with a sword in his hand to a deadly tornado in a hand to hand fight, and hardison walks into walls and trip over his own two feet, he doesn’t know what these two amazing people are doing with him, because he knows parker and eliot speak this secret language of people who use their body as a tool, but hardison can’t do that, cant share a look and shrug with them and have it be a conversation, instead all he has is words, a flood of words, an endless waterfall of words to talk about his feelings, and he knows most of the time they don’t want his words and he can’t understand them in the way they understand each other, and basically hardison is terrified of the day that eliot and parker figure out they’re perfect together and decide they don’t need him anymore.

my precious insecure children who love so hard and so clumsily and so much that it ends up spilling out of them and over the floor and up to their necks, threatening to drown them if they’re not careful.

just. jesus fuck these three and this show has fucking ruined me.

aslo, favorite eps: the 12 step job, the grave danger job, the rundown job, the first david job, the lost heir job, the gone fishing job, the san lorenzo job, the queen’s gambit job

chaosideals  asked:

Ugh, I'm so glad you love MFMM too - such a great show :D

Seriously, how could you not love that show?  Phryne is a forward-thinking woman in the 1920s, her best friends are a Catholic woman and a doctor, and she and Jack have some of the best chemistry ever to grace the screen.

One of the best scenes ever because he was “trying to distract” her.  Right.  Like anyone believed that.  But he says it anyway because he’s totally in denial for all of Season 1.  Going to go with Miss Fisher on this one:

Also, mad props for Phryne in this episode because she posed nude for an artist and the painting is flamboyantly displayed in her parlor.  If that’s not hardcore, I don’t know what is.

And in her speech to Mr. Butler the first time they met, ending with the rushed sentence of:


Literally died when Jack and Phryne sang “Let’s Misbehave” together.

When she fastened his tie, I screamed, “FOR GOD’S SAKE KISS THE GIRL” at my TV.  (As did my mother, by the way–she ships it harder than I do.)

Rolled when she started talking about knowing her knots because of a Portugese sailor she knew once, and Jack’s reaction was basically, “Wait, this is Miss Fisher–I don’t want to know.”


And just the episode “Death & Hysteria” in general, especially all conversations revolving around the time Jack raided a brothel in Chinatown.  That’s the first time I noticed that Mac totally ships it, too.  And the Ronaldo the rodeo rider story–poor Dot.


…Huh.  Somehow I turned this into a Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries appreciation post.

Also, I have to say that, for a show set in the 1920s and the typical we-were-trying-to-be-historically-accurate bull that usually accompanies said shows, they talk about the taboo of 1920s society:  gay relationships, interracial relationships, “electrical massagers” *cough*, abortion, and a whole host of other things I can’t think about.

Currently watching “Death & Hysteria” again as I type this.

It Keeps Happening

Summary: Nico keeps falling for the wrong people. At least he has people to talk about it this time.

Also on AO3 and fanfiction.net
Word count: 1,522
Based on this prompt.

It was happening again.

Nico had hoped that Percy would be an exception. Some kind of hero worshiped cranked up to the extreme, the boy who had saved his life and caused him emotional turmoil over Bianca’s death. Love and hatred were sides of the same coin, right? Clearly what he’d felt was because of…well, that. Nothing to be hung up over.

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anonymous asked:

Tomorrow I'm going to meet someone I haven't known for long and all I can think is that I'll lose my virginity for him. I know this is wrong but I can't stop myself. Will God stop me? I don't think He loves me enough to stop me doing this thing which I know I'll regret later. I know I'm going to hurt my feeling&maybe my future husband's feelings, and God's too. I'm looking for someone to talk about this but I don't know where to find one, til I saw your post and decided to ask. So,please? :( -s-

You wrote a second message which said:

I’m looking for your answer for the next 3-4 hours. If I don’t get any answer from you, or anyone, I’ll take it as a permission and I’ll surely do it. Thanks before. -s-


First of all: No. As in, no, you do not get to hold me hostage with your demands to absolve your irresponsibility with my permission.

Second of all: You know perfectly well what you’re doing and you can’t blame God or anyone else for what you’re about to do.  So honestly, I don’t believe you believe what you’re saying about God, because none of that has to do with God.

And third of all: It usually takes me a few days or a few weeks to reply to a message, but since no one has ever loved you enough to tell you the cold hard truth, I’ll be the a-hole to do it, and it will be the hardest rebuke I’ve ever given.  I’m sure some will unfollow me, so okay.  Normally I’m all about grace and nuance and thoughtfulness, but your messages were so outlandish that I’m going to give you my backhand. 

In the last few weeks: I tried to talk a girl out of slitting her wrists (I was too late), I had coffee with someone who just got out of jail, I consoled my mom while her schizophrenic brother was being arrested for trying to stab her with a piece of glass, I consoled another girl for her eating disorder and suicidal thoughts, I prayed for a homeless guy at the local homeless ministry who will probably never quit his drug habit, and I’m helping a friend whose friend just died from cancer.

And you: You’re struggling with the decision to lose your virginity.

By your carefree nonchalant rationalizing tone, I’ll tell you a few things about yourself.  You’re most likely a bored, over-privileged, entitled, spoiled, selfish zombie.  Some of this is not your fault.  You’re a hollow shell enslaved by your emotions and the cultural cesspool around you.  You’re a copy of some lyrics you heard or a movie you saw or some crappy book you read.  You’re a symptom of a world where people act destructively on impulse without caring for another human being in order to gain maximum pleasure as a constant consumer removed from the needs of society. 

Again: some of this is not your fault. But that does NOT mean you’re outside a responsibility to your own dignity.  It doesn’t mean you get to live a selfish life where the only struggle you have is whether to have sex with someone.

Listen: Our American culture is entrenched in a self-centered epidemic of careless stupidity.  I don’t say this with relish or anger.  I say all this with total heartbroken grief.  I say this damn near in tears right now.  Because you could be so much more and actually help people and serve God and do what you were created for, if you could just snap out of it long enough to quit thinking of what you can get for yourself.

This is not even about the “sex” or anything.  This is about the way you asked me that reeks of a serve-me mentality, and something about it is just killing me.  It’s making me feel absolutely sorry for you, because you’re blind to your own value.


So here are the ways you can react.

1) You can get mad at me and call me a real mean jerk.

2) You can cry about this and call me a real mean jerk.

3) You can make another demand, which I will ignore, and then call me a real mean jerk.

4) You can can still call me a real mean jerk: But you can use all the energy you want to use against me and instead take a long serious look at your own life and how you got here and figure out why you think the way you think and get to the bottom of who you are.

My guess is, you won’t do Number 4.  Most people never do.  I mean I hope you wake up and walk out of your own self-slavery — but I hardly ever get surprised this way.  So maybe, you know, surprise me.  Take a look at yourself.  Take a look at what Jesus did.

I’m sorry if I misinterpreted you; perhaps you genuinely want me to stop you.  But even if I did stop you — then so what?  What about the next time and the time after that?  Maybe it will take you sleeping with this guy to realize how vapid and empty your soul is, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.  I hope you don’t need some blogger to tell you what to do.  I hope you fall on your face and repent and cry out to God in a slobbery mess and look at what Jesus did on that hill.  I hope you figure out you have a purpose beyond getting pleasure for yourself.  I hope you see how much He loves you, because that’s the only thing that will ever set you right. 

— J

                        NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THE END. 

Alright, kiddos. The end is nigh and that means it’s time to celebrate. The Hunger Games franchise has spanned over seven years. Three books and (soon-to-be) four films later, and love for the series is as an all time high. Now as we prepare to say goodbye to Katniss, Peeta, Gale, and the rest of the characters we’ve grown to love, and while I understand more than anyone that misgivings are bound to happen with any YA series, why not take the time to celebrate the good and ignore the bad? 

                                                  THE BASICS: 


A 21 day celebration of The Hunger Games! Grace ( @torturedmemory ) and I have created special categories for discussion. Each day will have a different subject, and what you choose to do with it is your own choice! Want to make an edit? Go for it. Want to write a post? Write two. Make a playlist, send & answer asks, pose questions. The choice is totally your own. The only rule we have is that your post has to be positive! ( Except when talking about President Snow, feel free to rip him to shreds. We really don’t mind. ) If you don’t have anything constructive to say, please don’t participate on that day! Don’t like Gale? His day probably isn’t for you. Think Katniss is an unreliable narrator? That’s probably best to keep to yourself. This is a CELEBRATION. Please keep your thoughts as positive as is possible, given the topic of the day.


November 1st through November 21st! All leading up to the grand, big screen finale of The Hunger Games on November 20th! The 21st will be reserved for support group like crying about the finale / movie reactions. It’s all good fun. 


As stated before, you can do whatever you want and it’s not a requirement to be a roleplayer / member of The Hunger Games community to participate. If you love this series, and you have thoughts you’d like to share, please do! We’d love to hear them. Another point to clarify is that you don’t have to be following Grace or I ( and we don’t have to be following you ) for you to participate! This is open to all fans of The Hunger Games from all corners of Tumblr and the world, and you aren’t required to participate on all of the days. If one day in particular catches your eye, or you have particular thoughts on, feel free to jump in on that day and ignore the others. This is a chance for us to express our love for this incredible series, and no one is going to be excluded from the celebrations. If you want to participate, please, please don’t be afraid to jump in and start talking! 


I’ll be making a separate post for the categories later on, once Grace and I have been able to sit down and really hash out what kind of discussion questions and possibilities can be explored for each one! There will be days for Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Finnick, Johanna, Haymitch/Effie individually, and then broader categories like Reaping Day, the Quarter Quell, the War and District Thirteen and also a day set aside to celebrate the amazing cast and crew of the movies. There will be more on that later, though. This post is preliminary. 

Basically, the point of this post is to garner awareness / gauge participation. Grace and I are going to be doing this and crying anyway, but we figured we would extend this to the whole community at large, in case anyone wants to cry with us. Please, like this post if you’re interested in participating ( I’ll be making a list of the likes and keeping them for the sake of sending out messages / things to think about when starting discussion about the given topics of the day ) and if you want to reblog this post to spread it around so that others can see it that might not be following me / Grace, do feel free and it’s greatly appreciated! 

Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor. xox

forestwater87  asked:

I'm really struggling to love God. I don't feel Him, so people say to read the Bible. But when I open it, I see stories of slaughter—often of children & innocents—& God hardening people's hearts, & I find it really hard to love Him. Why does He create people just to destroy them? Are our lives so insignificant that He can end them just to prove a point? If faith itself is a gift from God, why doesn't He give it to everyone & not send anyone to Hell? Most important, how do I love a God like this?

Hey dear friend, thank you for your honesty and may I simply say: I totally feel you on all this. I have so much love in my heart for you right now, really. I wrestle daily with some of the tough parts of the Bible, and I’ll probably ask those questions until my time on earth is over. I wish I had a more adequate intellectual answer for you, but I’m certain I’ll fall short of explaining away some of these things. There are also so many different interpretations that I couldn’t claim to be the one who’s unlocked all the mysteries today.

Please first allow me the grace to point you to these posts, some of which showed up in my first released book. Please feel free to skip around or skip them all.

- Why Is God So Homicidal In The Old Testament?

- God Seems A Little Crazy In The Old Testament — A Mega-Post on the OT

- Hell and Heaven As Motivation For Faith: A Mega-Post

- What About All Those People Who Never Got A Chance With God?

Here’s an attempt to offer a jump-off point for some of your concerns.

1) The Old Testament is pregnant with anticipation for rescue.

The OT is certainly problematic, full of genocide and misogyny and polygamy and adultery. But I don’t believe that God ever condoned these things. The OT was descriptive and not prescriptive.  It shows a conflicted humanity apart from the love of God and what they would naturally do on their own. God intervenes with prophets, priests, and kings, but almost none of this works — because they’re still flawed people.

This all culminates in the perfect person of Christ, who carries out what we couldn’t and offers us this grace on a cross. It’s the surprise plot-twist of the human story. I can completely understand God punishing us for our cruelty, but to become one of us and die for us and to bring healing in a tomb — I have more problems with grace than anything else in the Bible. But that’s who He is.

2) The Old Testament is retroactively answered by Jesus.

When I see Jesus, I can retroactively trust everything else that God did in the Old Testament. I hold the entire Scriptures up to the lens of Christ. Sometimes it’s a hard stretch, but our bias will either see the OT as bloody X-rated mythology, or as a set-up for a savior to redeem us from ourselves. The Bible takes a huge patience to wade through the hopelessness until we get to the gospels. But because of Christ, the OT is no longer the same to me. It shows a work in progress reaching towards the work finished.

3) Paradox: God is the author and people choose.

When it appears that God “hardens hearts” or God puts a “lying spirit” in false prophets (1 Kings 22:22), I hope we can see the nuance here. God is in control, but we also have the human responsibility of free will. The Bible often describes both within the same breath.

Let’s say J.K. Rowling decided that Harry Potter killed Voldemort. This is true: Rowling decided it. But Harry Potter, in the context of the story, decided it too. Both did. It’s a silly analogy, but the paradox remains: the author writes but the person still chooses.

4) Hell is a consistent self-chosen act against your own will. Salvation is not a one-time act, but a slow awakening to the God who is pursuing us.

I know that in church, we’re taught, “One mistake lands you in hell!” — or, “Pray this prayer and you’ll get into Heaven!” Besides the fact that these are false motivations for a relationship with God, this also belittles the journey of knowing Him. It turns faith into a contest instead of recognizing that Christianity is about the God who beckons us towards Him over a lifetime.

I no longer believe faith is some kind of one-shot decision. I don’t believe that God can just “inject” us with faith, or else He would be infringing on what makes us human: to decide for ourselves. I also don’t believe that there’s some blanket measure that God uses to thin the crowd — I believe that our salvation is on a case-by-case basis, taking our individual upbringing and trauma and history into account.

The bottom line is always loving Jesus, knowing his love, and loving others. Yet no two people will have the same faith-journey. God pursues each of us through different avenues, events, and longings. In the end, we’re each accorded grace by how each of us experienced Him. In other words, a five year old child who loves God is just as valid as the eighty-five year old pastor who is barely hanging on to the single mother who has prayed herself to sleep.

Faith is the slow awakening to the God who has been pursuing us all along. When I see the cross and the empty tomb, I can love Him. Yes, it’s incredibly difficult some days. But even when I don’t know where I stand, I can know where He does. I don’t have to look further than His Son.

— J.S.