if all the world were paper

4

Ultracool Dwarf and the Seven Planets

Temperate Earth-sized Worlds Found in Extraordinarily Rich Planetary System

Astronomers have found a system of seven Earth-sized planets just 40 light-years away. Using ground and space telescopes, including ESO’s Very Large Telescope, the planets were all detected as they passed in front of their parent star, the ultracool dwarf star known as TRAPPIST-1. According to the paper appearing today in the journal Nature, three of the planets lie in the habitable zone and could harbour oceans of water on their surfaces, increasing the possibility that the star system could play host to life. This system has both the largest number of Earth-sized planets yet found and the largest number of worlds that could support liquid water on their surfaces.

Astronomers using the TRAPPIST–South telescope at ESO’s La Silla Observatory, the Very Large Telescope (VLT) at Paranal and the NASA Spitzer Space Telescope, as well as other telescopes around the world [1], have now confirmed the existence of at least seven small planets orbiting the cool red dwarf star TRAPPIST-1 [2]. All the planets, labelled TRAPPIST-1b, c, d, e, f, g and h in order of increasing distance from their parent star, have sizes similar to Earth [3].

Dips in the star’s light output caused by each of the seven planets passing in front of it — events known as transits — allowed the astronomers to infer information about their sizes, compositions and orbits [4]. They found that at least the inner six planets are comparable in both size and temperature to the Earth.

Lead author Michaël Gillon of the STAR Institute at the University of Liège in Belgium is delighted by the findings: “This is an amazing planetary system — not only because we have found so many planets, but because they are all surprisingly similar in size to the Earth!”

With just 8% the mass of the Sun, TRAPPIST-1 is very small in stellar terms — only marginally bigger than the planet Jupiter — and though nearby in the constellation Aquarius (The Water Carrier), it appears very dim. Astronomers expected that such dwarf stars might host many Earth-sized planets in tight orbits, making them promising targets in the hunt for extraterrestrial life, but TRAPPIST-1 is the first such system to be found.

Co-author Amaury Triaud expands: “The energy output from dwarf stars like TRAPPIST-1 is much weaker than that of our Sun. Planets would need to be in far closer orbits than we see in the Solar System if there is to be surface water. Fortunately, it seems that this kind of compact configuration is just what we see around TRAPPIST-1!”

The team determined that all the planets in the system are similar in size to Earth and Venus in the Solar System, or slightly smaller. The density measurements suggest that at least the innermost six are probably rocky in composition.

The planetary orbits are not much larger than that of Jupiter’s Galilean moon system, and much smaller than the orbit of Mercury in the Solar System. However, TRAPPIST-1’s small size and low temperature mean that the energy input to its planets is similar to that received by the inner planets in our Solar System; TRAPPIST-1c, d and f receive similar amounts of energy to Venus, Earth and Mars, respectively.

All seven planets discovered in the system could potentially have liquid water on their surfaces, though their orbital distances make some of them more likely candidates than others. Climate models suggest the innermost planets, TRAPPIST-1b, c and d, are probably too hot to support liquid water, except maybe on a small fraction of their surfaces. The orbital distance of the system’s outermost planet, TRAPPIST-1h, is unconfirmed, though it is likely to be too distant and cold to harbour liquid water — assuming no alternative heating processes are occurring [5]. TRAPPIST-1e, f, and g, however, represent the holy grail for planet-hunting astronomers, as they orbit in the star’s habitable zone and could host oceans of surface water [6].

These new discoveries make the TRAPPIST-1 system a very important target for future study. The NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope is already being used to search for atmospheres around the planets and team member Emmanuël Jehin is excited about the future possibilities: “With the upcoming generation of telescopes, such as ESO’s European Extremely Large Telescope and the NASA/ESA/CSA James Webb Space Telescope, we will soon be able to search for water and perhaps even evidence of life on these worlds.”

Notes


[1] As well as the NASA Spitzer Space Telescope, the team used many ground-based facilities: TRAPPIST–South at ESO’s La Silla Observatory in Chile, HAWK-I on ESO’s Very Large Telescope in Chile, TRAPPIST–North in Morocco, the 3.8-metre UKIRT in Hawaii, the 2-metre Liverpool and 4-metre William Herschel telescopes at La Palma in the Canary Islands, and the 1-metre SAAO telescope in South Africa.


[2] TRAPPIST–South (the TRAnsiting Planets and PlanetesImals Small Telescope–South) is a Belgian 0.6-metre robotic telescope operated from the University of Liège and based at ESO’s La Silla Observatory in Chile. It spends much of its time monitoring the light from around 60 of the nearest ultracool dwarf stars and brown dwarfs (“stars” which are not quite massive enough to initiate sustained nuclear fusion in their cores), looking for evidence of planetary transits. TRAPPIST–South, along with its twin TRAPPIST–North, are the forerunners to the SPECULOOS system, which is currently being installed at ESO’s Paranal Observatory.


[3] In early 2016, a team of astronomers, also led by Michaël Gillon announced the discovery of three planets orbiting TRAPPIST-1. They intensified their follow-up observations of the system mainly because of a remarkable triple transit that they observed with the HAWK-I instrument on the VLT. This transit showed clearly that at least one other unknown planet was orbiting the star. And that historic light curve shows for the first time three temperate Earth-sized planets, two of them in the habitable zone, passing in front of their star at the same time!


[4] This is one of the main methods that astronomers use to identify the presence of a planet around a star. They look at the light coming from the star to see if some of the light is blocked as the planet passes in front of its host star on the line of sight to Earth — it transits the star, as astronomers say. As the planet orbits around its star, we expect to see regular small dips in the light coming from the star as the planet moves in front of it.


[5] Such processes could include tidal heating, whereby the gravitational pull of TRAPPIST-1 causes the planet to repeatedly deform, leading to inner frictional forces and the generation of heat. This process drives the active volcanism on Jupiter’s moon Io. If TRAPPIST-1h has also retained a primordial hydrogen-rich atmosphere, the rate of heat loss could be very low.


[6] This discovery also represents the largest known chain of exoplanets orbiting in near-resonance with each other. The astronomers carefully measured how long it takes for each planet in the system to complete one orbit around TRAPPIST-1 — known as the revolution period — and then calculated the ratio of each planet’s period and that of its next more distant neighbour. The innermost six TRAPPIST-1 planets have period ratios with their neighbours that are very close to simple ratios, such as 5:3 or 3:2. This means that the planets most likely formed together further from their star, and have since moved inwards into their current configuration. If so, they could be low-density and volatile-rich worlds, suggesting an icy surface and/or an atmosphere.

TOP IMAGE….Comparison of the TRAPPIST-1 system with the inner Solar System and the Galilean Moons of Jupiter This diagram compares the orbits of the newly-discovered planets around the faint red star TRAPPIST-1 with the Galilean moons of Jupiter and the inner Solar System. All the planets found around TRAPPIST-1 orbit much closer to their star than Mercury is to the Sun, but as their star is far fainter, they are exposed to similar levels of irradiation as Venus, Earth and Mars in the Solar System. Credit: ESO/O. Furtak

CENTRE IMAGE….This diagram compares the orbits of the newly-discovered planets around the faint red star TRAPPIST-1 with the Galilean moons of Jupiter and the inner Solar System. All the planets found around TRAPPIST-1 orbit much closer to their star than Mercury is to the Sun, but as their star is far fainter, they are exposed to similar levels of irradiation as Venus, Earth and Mars in the Solar System. Credit: ESO/O. Furtak

LOWER IMAGE….This chart shows the naked eye stars visible on a clear dark night in the sprawling constellation of Aquarius (The Water Carrier). The position of the faint and very red ultracool dwarf star TRAPPIST-1 is marked. Although it is relatively close to the Sun, it is very faint and not visible in small telescopes. Credit: ESO/IAU and Sky & Telescope

BOTTOM IMAGE….This diagram compares the sizes of the newly-discovered planets around the faint red star TRAPPIST-1 with the Galilean moons of Jupiter and the inner Solar System. All the planets found around TRAPPIST-1 are of similar size to the Earth. Credit: ESO/O. Furtak

Paper Hearts (Part 10)

Originally posted by tbhobi

Genre: Angst/fluff

♡ Pairing: Reader x Jungkook // Reader x Jimin

♡ Length: 3.9k

♡ Summary: It has been nearly a year since you started writing anonymous letters to Jungkook, giving him words of encouragement behind the thin mask of a paper. He never considered you as a possible suspect behind these letters, because you were nothing more than a best friend. And you couldn’t put all the blame on him either, after all, you were too afraid to confess in fear of tarnishing your precious friendship.

1 ♡ 2  ♡ 3  4   5   6   7   8   9  ♡ 10  ♡ 11  

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Friend Request >> Jungkook, You

Perfect match tomorrow, okay? ;)


Tears in your eyes, you held the papers tightly in your hands, crumbling them into a ball.

There were many unfair things in this world.

And one of them was trusting the wrong person.

You couldn’t believe he approached you, just to make fun of you like this. You felt humiliated and tears were at their peak of escaping from your eyes.

With everyone’s eyes on you, you couldn’t raise your head. Noises everywhere and they were all about you, laughing at you, making fun of you.

Who does she think she is?

She is an idiot for thinking he actually has feelings for her.

Desperate

I hate her kind. Acting like they are innocent, but they are sly.

Holding your hands to your ears, you tried hard to block all the voices around you. Why would he do that to you? There was no way he did. Why would he betray you like this?

You tried hard to believe him. You tried hard to think it was all lies.

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Paper Hearts (Part 3)

Originally posted by tbhobi

Genre: Angst/fluff

♡ Pairing: Reader x Jungkook

♡ Length: 3.5k

♡ Summary: It has been nearly a year since you started writing anonymous letters to Jungkook, giving him words of encouragement behind the thin mask of a paper. He never considered you as a possible suspect behind these letters, because you were nothing more than a best friend. And you couldn’t put all the blame on him either, after all, you were too afraid to confess in fear of tarnishing your precious friendship.

Part 1 ♡ Part 2  ♡ Part 3   Part 4

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I think we should start basing how good Mario is at being a bro based on which spin off game were talking about, because all Mario and Luigi’s are not born equal, for example:

Paper Mario: Worst bro. Holy shit someone help paper Luigi the man needs some love stat and paper Mario give about as many fucks for his brother as he has a 3rd dimension. 0/10 you didn’t even try to bro.

Main series 3D Mario: This is the Mario and Luigi that shows up in 3D World/ Land, New Super Mario Bros ect. They are the neutral bros, with Mario taking his brother with him on adventures and them helping each other out. A lack of characterisation makes it hard to tell how good a bro team they really are. 4/10. Would be 5/10 but there’s that one scene were Peach and Mario take off in a hot air balloon without Luigi, making him fall over.

Mario & Luigi series: Good bros!!! Best bros!!! This whole series is literally based around how much they work well as a team, There are moments where Luigi gets the short end of the stick but it’s balanced out by Mario hugging, standing by and helping out his bro. This Mario goes on long exhausting fetch quests for his bro and hugs him when he cries. These two would kick all their other incarnations asses. 9/10, because there is always room for bro improvement.

We say the map is different from the territory. But what is the territory? Operationally, somebody went out with a retina or a measuring stick and made representations which were then put on paper. What is on the paper map is a representation of what was in the retinal representation of the man who made the map; and as you push the question back, what you find is an infinite regress, an infinite series of maps. The territory never gets in at all. […] Always, the process of representation will filter it out so that the mental world is only maps of maps, ad infinitum.
—  Gregory Bateson
Paper Hearts (Part 7)

Originally posted by tbhobi

Genre: Angst/fluff

♡ Pairing: Reader x Jungkook // Reader x Jimin

♡ Length: 4.2k

♡ Summary: It has been nearly a year since you started writing anonymous letters to Jungkook, giving him words of encouragement behind the thin mask of a paper. He never considered you as a possible suspect behind these letters, because you were nothing more than a best friend. And you couldn’t put all the blame on him either, after all, you were too afraid to confess in fear of tarnishing your precious friendship.

Part 1 ♡ Part 2  ♡ Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8

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Harry’s Hallowe’ens

On Harry’s first hallowe’en, Lily and James invited the Marauders over for dinner, as long as they dressed up in costumes. It was a merry evening all round, with Sirius’ vampire costume being particularly memorable, and Remus’ costume as a werewolf simply lazy

On Harry’s second hallowe’en, his parents were betrayed by one they had called a friend. Voldemort had murdered them mercilessly and had moved on to harry. But Harry became the boy who lived and on this evening the wizarding world came to know Harry’’s name.

On Harry’s third hallowe’en, he didn’t even realise this was his first hallowe’en without hanging up paper decorations on the door with James, without being in the kitchen while his mother carved pumpkins. Harry didn’t remember any of that.

On Harry’s fourth hallowe’en, Harry spent hallowe’en in the corner of a room while Dudley got sweets from his parents.

On Harry’s fifth hallowe’en, he spent the whole day excited, his classmates having shared their plans for trick or treating. Vernon didn’t let him out.

On Harry’s sixth hallowe’en, he found a cat with curious ring marks around his eyes in the driveway. He could’ve sworn it was crying, if cats could cry, that is.

On Harry’s seventh hallowe’en, he begged his uncle to let him go out trick or treating. Harry spent the whole evening cleaning dishes, and when Dudley returned, he amused himself by teasing Harry with his full bucket of chocolate and sweets.

On Harry’s eighth hallowe’en, his aunt, uncle and cousin went to a hallowe’en party and left Harry with Mrs. Figg. She took him out that year, and that was the first time he went trick-or-treating. When Dudley came back, he stole and ate all of Harry’s treats.

On Harry’s ninth hallowe’en, Harry spent his evening lying down on his bed in the cupboard under the stairs, hidden away while Dudley had invited a few friends to watch a spooky movie. Not for the first time, he wished he wasn’t an orphan.

On Harry’s tenth hallowe’en, Harry snuck out, and went trick-or-treating. It was his best hallowe’en yet. He got punished afterwards, but it had been worth it. Though Harry could’ve sworn some of the people dressed in wizard cloaks and hats, with wands, had been acting rather strangely.

On Harry’s eleventh hallowe’en, he found out by overhearing a conversation between his aunt and uncle that this was the night his parents had died. He spent the rest of the day crying in his cupboard.

On Harry’s twelfth hallowe’en, he experienced his first hallowe’en feast at Hogwarts and faced a troll. That was the day he found his two best friends; and it was his best hallowe’en yet.

On Harry’s thirteenth hallowe’en, he went to a Deathday Party, was accused of killing a cat and thought he was going crazy when he heard a death threat in his head.

On Harry’s fourteenth hallowe’en, his friends went out to Hogsmeade while he remained alone. He was used to it, but the day didn’t get any better when he found out his parents’ betrayer had tried to get into the Gryffindor common room to kill him.

On Harry’s fifteenth hallowe’en, his name got selected by the Goblet of Fire to participate in the Triwizard Tournament. That day, many of his friends, those in the place he loved most, thought him a cheater and a liar.

On Harry’s sixteenth hallowe’en, he spent the evening with Ron and Hermione nursing his hand from the wounds inflicted by the tyrannical Dolores Umbridge, all along being avoided by some of his own dorm-mates, because they thought he was crazy.

On Harry’s seventeenth hallowe’en, he spent the evening at one of Slughorn’s parties, caught between being introduced to famous wizarding people and laughing with Hermione, Ginny and Luna.

On Harry’s eighteenth hallowe’en, he spent the evening tired after a day of travelling, desperately thinking over clues to find the next horcrux, while wondering which of the people he loved Voldemort would kill next.

On Harry’s nineteenth hallowe’en, the first in so long when he was with the people he loved, with no threat of Voldemort hanging over him, he returned to Godric’s Hollow. It was the first Hallowe’en he had with his parents since all those years ago. He once again placed flowers on the grave of his parents.

Every hallowe’en after that, Harry would take his friends, his family, and spend time with them. But every time, he would always remember what had happened on the same night so many years ago, a night that had changed the course of his life forever.

do not tell me we were born to be heroes.

i was born to be small 
and we both know it 

i have skin like crepe paper, torn from use 
i am a chipped china plate 
be aware that if i brave the cold 
i will suffer from it 

the only way i can live 
is to suffer

you know your place in this world 
you know that your skin is glitter and sometimes you choke on it 
but you have never been breakable 
you are a million shades of shimmer 
and even in the dark you cannot pass for dullness 

you, love, were born to be a hero.

i wasn’t.

crepe paper skin and a weak heart 
these are not the makings of someone great 
these are the makings of someone small 

i love you 
but i am not you. 

i am the youngest of my family 
past my growth spurt and i am still shorter than them all 
i have a hunched demeanour 
soft voice and watery eyes 

do not tell me i was born to be better 
i was born to make you better

love, stop growing in the absence of my growth 
love, know that i am small
love, do not crush me with your heroics.

—  i am here, i am enough even if you see me as unfinished // H.S.
I am a writer

I’ve known I’ve been a writer all my life. And yet- I’ve negated identifying myself as such because society has told me my image does not correlate with a respected writer. I have tattoos, I cuss, Google defines me as an athlete, and the marginalizing deeming “just a pretty girl” taught me to just push that identity beside. And, sadly, just like everyone else in this world, I accepted the mold that was given to me. 

I realized I was a writer when paper, pens, and books seemed to be the only thing supporting me in my childhood. They were reliable- I always knew they would stay neutral, they wouldn’t partake in the broken dysfunction of my upbringing- they were majestic and beautiful, and to me, they were my escape.

As a child, writing was reliving a life I wished I had.

It allowed me to unleash the depths of sadness, brokenness and shame that circulated throughout my body. With fierce scribbles, denting and imprinting my pain across pages, I learned how to release. I learned how to cope. And eventually, I learned how to heal. 

Writing provided me with hope.

With this new hope, I am ready to share. I am ready to share my journey, reopen scars to offer healing.  From my soul to yours.

-Thegirlontheshore

{ five’s company // ch. 11 }

a/n: gonna try to get better at updates. feel free to yell at me for this one. 

t/w: jefferson’s being gross what’s new,,

inbox || masterlist


eleven.

Things had finally settled down for a while. Your biggest event was over, and Christmas actually gave you time to relax. You went over to see the Washingtons’ as planned and they were always so happy to see you. 

Christmas day was loud. Living with four other people who are equally as excited as kids on Christmas morning made it hectic. John woke you all up, practically stepping over each of you to get out of bed. You’d made cinnamon rolls with Hercules as tradition that morning. Wrapping paper was everywhere and your boys had the biggest smiles on their faces. You wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Herc made you all matching sweaters as a gift with a little red heart sewn just above where your actual hearts were. You all screamed and tackled Hercules after you put them on. You didn’t let each other go for the rest of the day.

New Years’ was only slightly quieter. The Schuylers had their usual New Years’ party. Drinks were being passed around in grand amounts. You chose to stay relatively sober for the night, keeping an eye on your incredibly drunk boyfriends. You stayed up to watch the ball drop with all of your friends, and kissed all of your partners before crashing immediately after. You nursed the boys’ back to optimal condition when they complained about their horrible hangovers the next morning. Angelica–-bless her heart–-let you all stay the night. You made a note to buy her a very nice thank you gift.

Things were slowly falling into place. You’d been working a little more, happily writing on issues you cared about. Elections had changed this nation, but you hoped for the better. 

Januaries in New York were lovely to you. There wasn’t a lot of snow yet, but there was quite a lot of rain, so Januaries in New York were hard for your Alexander.

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I asked my students to draw monsters. Only one of them gave me nightmares.

by reddit user BORN-IN-2002.

Author name: Lucas Pincer

I’m a 2nd grade substitute teacher, and I like my job very much, though I’m hoping to work on child psychology research in the future. Because of that, I like to give the kids assignments that will allow me to have a glimpse into their minds, on how they interpret the world and how much they understand of everything.

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Cancer

request: “so i’m really sick all the time. i don’t feel like diving into the details of my disease but it gets really frustrating sometimes, and right now is one of those times. i was listening to Cancer and got even more into my feelings. fancy doing some sort of josh (as a love interest somehow) imagine around this theme to hopefully improve my lame mood?”

author’s note: so, writing this made me a bit emotional. i’m not used to writing for this type of subject but i decided to give it a shot. be warned, frens, some pretty sad shit awaits you in this fic. whoever requested this, i hope you enjoyed this and i send you all my love. 💜

Originally posted by tyjosephs

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independent.co.uk
Donald Trump shows the world folders 'containing his business plan', then they turn out to be entirely blank
The papers that Donald Trump made the centre of his first press conference in six months actually appear to have been blank. The conference also appears to have been filled with staff members who were expected to laugh and applaud throughout the event.

“Both Mr Trump and his lawyer Sheri Dillon pointed at those documents and claimed they were just part of the various papers required to separate Mr Trump from his business. They each pointed at the pile repeatedly as proof that the preparations were being made. But reporters were not allowed to look at any of the documents, which all were held in folders meaning that the actual paper was hidden. And the pages themselves appear to be blank. While the majority of the sheets were hidden, some of them were visible – and there was no sign of page numbers or the sticky notes that lawyers tend to use to mark places in large documents. The paper itself also appeared to be the wrong size, printed on A4 rather than legal size sheets, and appears to have fallen like fresh sheets of paper. And the folders themselves were also entirely blank, despite Mr Trump suggesting that each of them related to a different business that Mr Trump was moving himself away from.”

So the Liar-in-Chief filled a bunch of blank folders with blank paper as fake props to bolster his lies to the press and the country about his conflicts of interest. What else did we expect? He’s a showman, not a president.

ohkatemara  asked:

WELL........................ tell me about rebelcaptain then

  • Cassian sings all the time, especially in the shower and while cooking or doing paper work. So everyone knew they he and Jyn were a thing when she started to hum some of the songs he is always singing, it’s obvious because they are songs in spanish (probably old ass boleros and for the time, mexican and latin rock in general).
  • She’s ‘la flaca’, he may be in space but he is a mexican in space. So with all the love in the world, she is ‘la flaca’ and ‘la flaquita’. Other variations: ‘flaquis’, ‘flaqui’, ‘flaquix’.
  • Jyn did the first move. Like she noticed Cassian’s stare and how nice he was to her in certain ways and ocasions, so she said “what the hell” and went right for it. And by that, I mean she actually approached and told him she fancy him and they should go for a drink or two. They went for dinner.
  • They have a friendly competition on who can hit more targets on the move, they use the practice program for new recruits and Mon hates them because ‘why on all systems are you two taking time from the newbies isntead of helping!?’ but the new guys love seeing them ‘fight’ so no one says a thing whe they appear in the arena.
  • She likes to bite, so it is normal to find a red mark or two on the captain’s neck or shoulder on mondays.
  • Cassian has this favorite song he likes to sing her, she doesn’t understand what it says but she likes the way he says it. Once full of curiosity she asked what was it about. It’s ‘Brillas’ and she just melted like why? That was his way to say ‘I love you’ first.
  • But she did say ‘I love you’ first, like properly. They kind of fight about it, that no, he was the first one because the song counts and she is like ‘no It doesn't’.

Originally posted by sixpenceee

Originally posted by quicksilversmom

“Got the check list?” Peter asks. You nod your head, pulling out the small paper from your costume pocket.

“TP the Professors office, check. Prank call Scott, check. Change all the labels in Hanks lab, Check. I think we’re good!” You grin, “All we have left is to venture the world and go trick or treating.”

“Good, I was worried we couldn’t finish everything in time.” Peter sighs in relief. 

"So, You ready to get some candy?” You ask. 

“Fuck yeah!” Peter smiles, grabbing your hand and leading you out the doors. In a rush, since it was his favorite holiday. And even though you were probably too old for this stuff, it still was fun. Therefor you had no reason to stop. Plus, anything to make Peter happy. 

My Life Without Wiping (My 100th Post)

Since this is my 100th post I decided to open up to you guys a little I hope you all enjoy

As we all know I have never once wiped my ass and today I’m going to tell all of you why. I was raised without toilet paper because both of my parents were extremely allergic to toilet paper and because they loved me and any parent that loves their kids knows that they can’t let them use toilet paper or else it means they’re not loved. However we weren’t gross pigs no no no we used bidets we had at least 37 in each room all of them were made of 1200 Karat Gold, although the bidets would breakdown a lot due to being made out of Gold, but when that happened I would get excited because while the Golden Bidets were being repaired we would have to use a blow dryer to crust the shit in our asses than peel off the crusty shit and then eat it as a tasty snack. Now that I live on my own I do that once in a while because it brings back so many nostalgic memories from my childhood.

You’re probably asking yourself, how were we able to afford to buy so many Gold Bidets? Well the answer is easy we were Billionaires, actually both my parents were the richest people in existence, 9 billion times richer than Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg combined.

What happened to our wealth? Is probably what you’re asking yourself now well that’s even easier to answer, we are now Trillionaires and as many people know, not wiping your ass can make mold grow inside but what people don’t know is that the mold is used to make Non-vegan Cheese, so if you ever wondered why Non-Vegan cheese tasted like shit well now you know

Now you’re most likely Wondering why I’m bringing that up since that’s what made me rich, you’re probably thinking of buying the Vegan alternatives for Dairy which is great because I invented every single vegan alternative to every single Dairy product and as we all know Vegan Dairy products are putting Dairy farmers out of business which is great because the Dairy industry is very harmful towards cows (I’ll leave the graphic details out of this post).

The day before my first day of Kindergarten I had a fight with my parents about not wiping at school my excuse to be able to use toilet paper was that I would get skid marks on my underwear however my parents defense was that I won’t get any skid marks on my underwear if I don’t wear any then they went in all of my 70 bedrooms and took every single pair I owned and threw them into a huge pile then lit it on fire and I haven’t worn underwear since Because I was afraid they would do the same thing again. The burning pile of Underwear is still burning today due to the fact people put a bunch of tires in it, it is now known as the tire fire, at the time we were living in the United States in a small town called Springfield, although I can’t say which State we were in Because Matt Groening will try to sue me since that specific Springfield was where he got the idea for his Cartoon “The Simpsons” actually believe it or not The Simpsons are real people and I know Bart and Lisa personally I actually dated Bart in High School and I dated Lisa when we both went to Harvard. My first day of Kindergarten was very interesting my parents had my clothes laid out for me all of them were white, White shirt, pants, socks and even a white backpack and baseball cap, the teachers were nice but at lunch time my stomach started making weird noises, it turned out I wasn’t hungry but I really had to take a shit, when I realized it I started to run to the bathroom but it was too late I shit my pants, unfortunately there wasn’t just a brown stain on my ass but I had explosive diarrhea and shit was all over my clothes and over walls, even on the principal who was walking by, she bursted in tears and so did I my white clothes were now brown and my principal who was a blonde turned into a brunette In High school I was the most popular person I have dated 203 girls and 205 boys and Everyone wanted to be like me, Everyone stopped wiping their asses Because it was a cool thing to do. However I have dumped all of my boyfriends and girlfriends for one guy and as you already know that guy was Bart Simpson. He had spiked blonde hair, blue eyes, he would often say “Don’t have a cow Man” however he eventually got tired of saying it, I never believed I could love someone so much until I met Bart however it didn’t last long, I accidentally walked in on him wiping his ass, I dumped him after, he begged for another chance but I would never forgive someone that wipes their ass. Like I mentioned earlier I have dated Lisa when we went to Harvard, we have 2 kids Together Amanda and Xavier, she was also the one that convinced me to make this blog, she also gave me the idea to invent vegan cheese, we broke up because she is planning on running for president in 2020 to get that idiot Donald Trump out of the oval office and I’m too busy inventing vegan cheeses and protesting the use of toilet paper. Now I’m running a small blog on Tumblr and have invented 80,000 types of vegan cheeses and I’m planning to release them all over the next 200 years, while I might be dead by the time that’s done but my kids Xavier and Amanda will be running the family business, both of them already invented over 5000 types of vegan cheeses and Amanda is only 10 and Xavier is 7. Well now you know about me if you have any questions feel free send an ask

The Terminal, Ch. V

Well now it’s clear you’re the wind and I’m the wave.
Together we can brave all the things we never knew.

The rain came in buckets. It came in furious tantrums and spurts like a toddler in a sea of pots and pans, placid and docile one moment with big, fat drops that generously splattered methodically, to angry, tiny little stings with little to no rhyme or reason the next. It came in gushing gutters and spitting spigots and pulpy papers passing through relentless rivers. It came into the city, illuminated by the lights and shortening the gap between sky and scraper until the world glowed like a nightlight, until streets were strings of Christmas lights, dutifully blinking and the neon hung like lightning frozen and bottled in its spot.

The rain even came in through the slightly open window, kicked back up from tires in the street, bouncing off of umbrellas and leaves. Clarke watched it accumulate on her windowsill before looking back at Lexa, who remained oddly perplexed by her inability to find all of her stuff.

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