idolization of humans is a bad idea

In my opinion, the majority of the Supergirl cast at SDCC was being more ignorant and insensitive rather than homophobic.

You have to be open to the possibility that maybe you’re misconstruing the situation, that what you see from the other side may not be an accurate representation of what actually happened, but yes, there is always the possibility that you are right.

Jeremy Jordan released two public apologies via Instagram that received backlash.

The first:

This one, I believe, received the most backlash for a formatting that is closer to that of a non-apology, of which I can see to an extent. It may be messy and imperfect, but he is human and can only learn from his mistakes. Many people did not like the fact that he said, “My track record for years has proven my love and utter devotion to the LGBTQ community.” because some people believe it is the equivalent of, “I have gay family/friends, I can’t be homophobic.”

But he is, I think, absolutely genuine with his intention in the apology, and the second part is more sincere, if you will.

He admitted his mistake, promised he would be better, and I personally have no doubt that he will try to do so in the future.

I said before that when you are attacked or criticized or hated, you are more likely to defend yourself. That is how humans work. If someone you knew was generally a kind and sweet person, but made a huge mistake, you are more likely to blame it on the person’s character. If it was the other way around and you made the mistake, you are more likely to blame it on external circumstances.

Mehcad Brooks’ apology is similar.

Yes, he made a comment similar to Jeremy Jordan’s “my track record” comment, and said something equivalent to “I cannot be homophobic, I am black”. And maybe he did not mean it to come out that way.

That is also another thing to address, because people who are gay can be racist/sexist and people who are black can be homophobic/sexist and people who are feminists can be homophobic/sexist. Most people know that being oppressed does not mean you cannot be the oppressor.

This is not trying to excuse what they did, but acknowledge that there are absolutely many variables within the situation at hand.

In the musical recap, they were having fun.

Okay, not a great reason, but everyone knows that when you are having fun, in the spur of each moment, you will not know if you are spouting anything out that is rude and offensive. They were not targeting the LGBT+ community, but maybe the actions they partook in are considered homophobic, but they are likely not themselves. They were being silly, having fun with each other, and laughing is scientifically proven to be contagious - it is a social thing whether or not you enjoy it, because most humans thrive off of it, and therefore, desire to be accepted. But, again, I know it does not excuse what they did.

Their intent was not to invalidate the LGBT+ community, but it did regardless, and you have every right to be upset. But think, just for a few seconds, to consider all sides. If you create something as an artist that you are so proud of and put so much time in and it is overlooked towards something you unintentionally created, you will likely feel upset. That one thing that you did not mean to do and put as much work in is being praised rather than the actual thing you are so proud of and want compliments for. Imagine that it is what the majority only talk about, it can get annoying.

Then there was the unnecessary interjection Chris Wood made about sexuality only being about perception of others. Again, ignorant and insensitive, but to his defense, he did say he was being sarcastic right after. I personally believe that was a homophobic comment. It is unfortunate for him that he is receiving a ton of hate attacking his personal life (because his character, Mon-El, is nothing like the comic counterpart and portrays someone who seems abusive), and when you shout at someone, you are likely to be shouted back at with the same force. Again, not excusing him, but more trying to develop an understanding of all sides.

To reiterate, I create art, whether it is in written or visual form, and I will likely be proud of my feat. There will be blatant haters, but when a fan articulately and professionally comments on how my work is portraying something unhealthy, it is a red flag. It is my job to at least take a second for myself to contemplate their words and the possibility without bias and acknowledge that though I did not intend to make it that way, it still had that affect.

They were also tired.

Okay, perhaps also not the greatest excuse for most.

SDCC panels are stressful for everyone, and I also believe it is very much so for celebrities attending. David Harewood makes a point that people may be “unfair” and “over the top” and blasting the situation out of proportion. My only qualm with his tweet is that he refers this outburst only originating from shippers when it is the entire LGBT+ community that has been affected. They might not be homophobic, but their actions could be read that way and will be used in the future to hurt the LGBT+ community and they are responsible for that.

They are also celebrities, they are constrained and choked in a suffocating environment that many fans burden their shoulders with.

Expectations. Ideals. Presumptions. Many unrealistic.

They are stuck within a tiny box of those specifications and the moment they resist or reach past it in any way, they receive hate. They are people, and like many other people, they may be agreeable on some matters and disagreeable on others; they have their own views. Those perfect ideas of humans people have, not just idols nor icons, are bad and unfair for both sides.

There are so many things that infuriated people at Supergirl’s SDCC.

From the announcement of The Ray and how it made Jewish coded characters like Supergirl and the Flash actual Nazis.

Which I personally loathe, so I cannot be as impartial on that matter.

To Melissa Benoist’s statements that Kara Danvers “lost her first ever boyfriend” as well as comparing it to her “losing her entire world”. She completely omitted a great black man in the first season that the latter was so head over heels with and seems to have compared a loss of a boyfriend to her losing her entire world - by extension forgetting that Kara Danvers still has Eliza, Lena, James, J’onn, Winn, and her sister Alex (I believe the Danvers sisters’ relationship is the most powerful in the show).

To the questions and panels circling around Mon-El constantly with barely any input on the Danvers sisters and the involvements of other important lead characters.

To the lack of addressing the problem with Mon-El’s character, which has been a huge controversy in numerous articles as well as plot holes with the rushed and messier writing.

To the theorizing and speculation people are making by watching videos, like the musical recap.

They are videos, you cannot really determine emotion nor intent and all they will ever be is speculation, because people are sharing statements that there is now cast drama (which I hope not) due to this incident. Katie McGrath and Odette Annable are receiving the least hate out of everyone (I am referring to cast members who were present, so I am leaving Chyler Leigh and Floriana Lima out) because (and some of these are fan speculations and may or may not be ridiculous to you)…

- Katie McGrath repeated that fans could take anything they wanted from the show and apparently Mehcad Brooks told her to “shut up” in Italian (zitta).

Honestly, the audio is not great and neither are human ears and it is just speculation. I do not know.

- Katie McGrath “dragged” the rest of the cast members by stating, “I brought it back to reality, you wanna go back to singing again?” as in referring to the musical recap in the video as well as leaning away and apparently tackling Chris Wood’s comment earlier about sexuality only being about perception and Odette Annable showing her support.

Again, speculation as I analyze with a neutral lens. Katie McGrath could be comfortable in that position. Or maybe she was actually uncomfortable with the situation. And the cast was singing shortly beforehand, it was probably not meant as shade. I do not know.

- Odette Annable did not laugh at the musical recap nor when the cast sang again about Daxam I think.

Maybe she does not find singing to be amusing? Or maybe she really thought the cast members were being rude about the musical recap. I do not know.

- There is a photo of Katie McGrath and it looks as if there are tears and people speculate it was due to her statement during the musical recap that allegedly went ignored by other cast members or something and now she is being ostracized.

More speculation, maybe she was so happy with fans she teared up, maybe the lights were too bright and her eyes were too dry. I do not know.

I do not know. No one knows for sure what is going on and hopefully everyone’s speculations above are wrong because the idea of supposed discourse and schisms within a cast of grown adults is honestly sad (someone said that cast members for a show were arguing before an interview, I do not know how reliable that information is).

If you have a problem with what happened, give your statements.

Don’t attack the actors’ and/or writers’ personal lives.

Most people will not pay attention to something that sounds aggressive or hateful. Educate them on the consequences of their actions in a professional manner, and if they shoot back with something immature or block you, then you are wasting your time and theirs. You are the consumer, you can move on and invest your emotions, money, and time on something that you consider is more worth your while.

STOP HATING IDOLS

  For a month, I’ve been reading and taking screenshots of instances in which somebody is hateful or disrespectful towards Hwasa from MAMAMOO. I also had mean posts towards and about Moonbyul which were sadly lost in the midst of me cleaning up my phone.

  I decided today was a good day to explore this issue and give my opinion on it. Here are some screenshots I was able to find/save from the mess I made hours ago:

  Unfortunately, none of the screenshots listed above were taken out of context and neither is the one listen down. The Hwasa hate withing the Momoos is not that obvious, but outside of it it’s sadly crystal clear.

  Hwasa has been categorized as “ugly” and also the “ugliest” in the group more times than I can count and it’s a shame I lost some of my screenshots that proved this. Sadly, this is a real issue not just to MAMAMOO’s maknae, but also to various other idols like Rapmonster from BTS (for example).

  Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but as soon as it’s made public that person has to be ready for some backlash as not everybody is going to agree with you. Sadly, I don’t agree with this and I can refute what you say and not just disagree is because you claim her “ugliness” as being a fact and not a personal opinion/preference.

  Down below you’ll see pictures of MAMAMOO with and without make-up for comparison but make sure you understand that I’ve been a moomoo for a while and I love all of them (including their appearance), so I’m not pushing everyone down with this. I have good intentions with this post.

  If you have some time, stick around ‘till the end.




  The photo below is used various times to slander/criticize Hwasa’s appearance on, not only blogs, but also e-papers/magazines which is pretty alarming from my view point.

  This picture was taken during a rehearsal and (from what I read) Hwasa believed it wasn’t necessary to wear make-up as it wasn’t an actual show, but just a “training session”. 

  Unfortunately, the facial expression, the lighting, the angle and the bad quality of the picture obviously doesn’t help her appearance after all she’s human, but look under for another make-up-less picture to see the difference.

  Here you go: in this picture, due to the lighting, facial expression and better quality of the picture she looks way better. Bless lighting, am I right?

  If this picture makes you feel like I’m biased (which I am, to be honest, as she’s my favorite idol), here are more to dismiss those silly ideas.

  Opinions are opinions - of course -, but using a terrible picture in order to get your point across when there are many pictures to refute that idea is begging to be disagreed with.

  In my opinion though (my really biased opinion, of course, let that be known) she’s pretty. 

  Bonus: in my mother’s unbiased opinion, she’s also pretty.




  Now, leaving the solely “Hwasa” topic, let’s talk all of MAMAMOO, shall we?



  I am a big supporter of the fact that you can only be a Moomoo if you respect all the members and unfortunately that’s not 100% homogenized with the fandom’s rules

  Here is MAMAMOO with no make-up on (and oh, do they look great):

  It’s obvious every person who wears make-up on a daily basis doesn’t look as good without make-up not only because make-up is used to make someone’s face more appealing and overall more beautiful but also because you’re used to a certain bone structure (that can be easily messed around with contour and highlight), a certain color of skin and lips, fuller and more colored eyebrows, etc.

  The girls aren’t above that as they’re human - they breathe, they eat and they go to the bathroom just like all of us.

  To me, with or without make-up they look beautiful because I chose these girls as my favorite group not just for their looks but also for their music/talent and humor. Yet, I can’t deny they look more appealing with make-up and I know most of the people out there could agree with me.

  I am pulling any of them down, it’s my opinion. It’s not a fact, but an opinion based on my preferences. 

  Here’s some basis for my opinion:





  Aside from MAMAMOO (but still connected to them), I found something horrible on the internet which was apparently posted a couple of months ago. Still, it was posted, read and commented under, so I can do the same here as it’s in the public domain.

  In addition to refuting Hwasa’s haters, here’s some pictures of the “ugliest” idols listed above in order and let it be known I wasn’t aware of the existence of Bobby, Yang, Seo, Jihyo, Jung or Umji prior to this so my opinion on them isn’t biased in any way. I didn’t search exhaustively for these pictures, they were on the very top of their names’ search.

  Anyways, here are pictures of the idols.

  Warning: there’s a l o t of ugliness ahead. ;)




Here’s Bobby;

  Don’t know how someone could find him ugly with that sincere stare and plump lips, but sure…

Here’s Yoseob:

  He looks like such a happy kid, how can someone hate on him?

Here’s Rapmonster:

  Sorry, I’m biased on this one but his sincere smile is enough to make any girl swoon.

Here’s Eunkwang:

  He’s cute as hell! Reminds me of an EXO member, I just don’t remember which (not a fan of EXO, by the way).




Here’s Jihyo:

  She is such a cutie patootie omfg.

  Here’s Eunji:

  WHERE? IS? THE? UGLY?

Here’s Umji:

  Cutest smile 2KForever (and look at those cheeks!).

Here’s Hwasa:

  Queen of jeans right behind Hani, to be honest.

  Too biased to comment, sorry.




In my opinion,

  None of the idols listed above are ugly and it’s a fact they do not deserve your insults or slander as nobody deserves to be hated on (unless they’re criminals, then I really don’t care) based solely off their looks.

  Did you notice I did not state my opinion as a fact throughout this post? You can easily give your opinion without insulting anyone or making a mess. Wow!




STOP SLANDERING IDOLS. 

idvnn-deactivated20170923  asked:

This is super important! ^^ headcanons for sakamakis and mukamis. Their s/o went out with her friends and smoke her first cigarette. Reaction when smelling the smoke in her hair?

Admin Mawile: (・∧‐)ゞ

Shuu: He doesn’t particularly care what you do, but the smell of smoke is absolutely noxious. Stay away from him if you smell that bad. 

Reiji: His partner will not be behaving in such a way, and whatever “friends” drug you into it will be associating with you no longer. 

Ayato: He dislikes the idea of you being so easily influenced by other people. and demands that you devote that attention to him instead. 

Kanato: Your hair smells absolutely disgusting now, and he’s furious that you’d spend time away from him just to go do something like that. 

Laito: If you were going to do something like that, why didn’t you invite him? Surely you would have had more fun with him there. 

Subaru: The smell of smoke is nothing short of disgusting, and you’re going to get yelled at for involving yourself with those kinds of people. 

Ruki: Livestock do not engage in such activities, and you will be strictly punished for making such poor choices in friends. 

Kou: Your blood is going to taste all nasty if you keep that up, and it’s not like an idol can have a partner that’ll make him look bad. 

Yuuma: The smell coming off of you is nothing short of foul, and he’s left in a bad mood that he has to be around such a stench. 

Azusa: Won’t that hurt you in a bad way? He knows that cigarettes are bad for humans, and dislikes the idea of any real harm coming to you. 

Childhood Trauma and How it Affects John, Mycroft, and Sherlock.

Let’s talk about trauma.  Specifically, some patterns of behavior shown by all three of these characters.

Children who are deeply traumatized blame themselves. That’s how children work. They are inherently self-centered. This is how they survive, from an evolutionary standpoint. But this means that if something horrible happens–be it one huge event or a quiet onslaught of small issues that spell one huge trauma–children blame themselves.  They have an overly developed sense of control and responsibility and this feeds into some very telltale behaviors later on in life. 

Children also rewrite their trauma. They may forget the trauma or call it by other names. They may make it a person or animal or seemingly unrelated trigger. Children have a poor sense of time and their brains are not yet structured to interpret things as they truly happened.

John

It may seem odd that John immediately jumped to “it’s my fault” during the Watson’s Have a Domestic scene in HLV. But really it’s just heart-wrenching. Something deeply rooted causes John to continue behavior that should have been left behind in childhood. Given that he has a sister who abused alcohol, my theory is that one or both of their parents was an alcoholic. This can absolutely cause PTSD, just not the kind most people assume and stereotype.

Repeated childhood trauma, including a constant feeling of loss of control and having to take care of someone who really should be taking care of the child, left untreated, will easily give someone an over-developed sense of self-blame and trust issues. It very well can cause symptoms similar to those John experiences. Mycroft was wrong in his diagnosis, but Mycroft is a) not a mental health professional, b) saying what he needs to say to accomplish a goal, and that’s not always the truth, and c) pretty damn messed up, himself.

Also, Moftiss have shown a tremendous ability to create vividly realistic characters who defy stereotypes. They truly held themselves to a higher standard. Just as they have not portrayed gay and lesbian people, bisexual people, women, or anyone else in this show as flat stereotypes, they have portrayed a complex, little-known and poorly understood subtype of PTSD with remarkable poise, realism, and respect for the person suffering from it. Mental health is an incredibly complex issue for which they have shown tremendous sensitivity. I don’t know who in their lives has complex, deeply-seated childhood trauma, but I’m betting SOMEONE does. Otherwise I just don’t know how they do this so well.

Mycroft and Sherlock

Back to Mycroft. Redbeard may be theory-bait, but BOTH Mycroft and Sherlock display some extreme coping mechanisms, and they’re very childish, like John’s. You don’t attempt to shut down all emotion unless you have some serious unprocessed issues. Children can easily reason that feeling hurt…well, HURTS, so they’re going to do whatever they can to stop feeling. I would expect this of children who had been in an extreme situation in which they have no control. Cutting out all emotion gives a facsimile of control.

Meanwhile, Sherlock rewrote his own history, similarly to Henry Knight did in THOB.  Kids do that.  Their brains are so plastic, they will twist themselves into whatever mental knots necessary to make the Bad Thing make sense.  This is yet another method of trying to establish control in an uncontrollable situation, whatever that situation was.  

And it’s not just whether YOU had no control over yourself that can establish childhood trauma. Witnessing a sibling go through something traumatic can be just as damaging. Loss of control is loss of control. Seeing a beloved person go through something terrible and having no control as a child is just as likely as if you went through it yourself to cause lasting harm to your mental health. And when you’re both going through it together…each person’s maladaptive coping mechanisms can compound the other’s.

Adults who are traumatized as adults are more nuanced and will probably understand that denying a huge swath of what makes you human is probably a Bad Idea. Adults who did that as children–specifically Mycroft, who deeply influenced the younger brother who idolized him, are not going to be so nuanced. Very subconsciously, they MAY get it, but not really realize it. Instead, they’re likely to be so defensive about this dent in their armor that they’re going to build themselves up as superior for being able to do what others cannot, not really grasping the fact that they’re actually weaker.

An intense person like Sherlock could very well turn to drugs to soothe the extreme dissonance between his core belief (“emotion is bad”) and his nature (intensely emotional). He’s a pressure cooker of a person. Core beliefs don’t like to be challenged. Look what happened in THoB: Sherlock was profoundly mentally, physically, and psychologically affected when a core belief of his was directly challenged. It’s because of the structure of that core belief, its probable origin, and the nature of his response throughout the whole episode, that I am starting to strongly suspect that at least Sherlock, if not Mycroft too, also has PTSD.

Core beliefs can really only be replaced by another core belief that starts out relatively unthreatening or in line with a person’s nature, and then is strengthened by hard evidence. (Read: Sherlock will not truly believe on all levels that he is lovable, much less loved by John, his ideal man, until his core beliefs about his worthlessness and about emotion in general, are supplanted by better beliefs supported by tons of evidence. And that may not happen until YEARS after they’re together. He’ll believe it to an extent, but not completely. Core beliefs take serious time and effort to change, and yes you can be in a healthy relationship even when you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, you just have to be able to live with some very complex psychology and have a nature that is resilient enough to withstand your poisonous core beliefs.) Distractions are about the only other way you can survive such complex and dissonant psychology. Sherlock WILL find distractions because otherwise, his mind cannot live with itself. But Mycroft probably can’t, either. How else did someone so young get to be so powerful?

Look at Mycroft’s reactions to Sherlock’s antics. Overprotective, much? He’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Textbook PTSD. He KIDNAPPED someone to find out if he’d be a good influence on his brother. He had a flashback to Sherlock’s childhood as he was nearly shot at Appledore–that is something more akin to a parent’s reaction. Look at Mycroft’s face each time Sherlock has relapsed. Mycroft said it was all his fault on the plane in TAB. He strongly parallels John in some key ways, he’s just even more in denial than John about his issues because of his childish belief in his ability to control himself by locking down all emotion.

How do I know this stuff?

So, how do I know all this? I’ve lived it and I’ve learned from my therapists. I was a child who suffered repeated trauma and witnessed a siblng experience similar repeated trauma. I have PTSD, but it looks a hell of a lot closer to John’s and Sherlock’s and Mycroft’s than anything else I’ve seen on tv. I utilize many techniques in my therapy including cognitive behavioral therapy, core beliefs, relational frame theory, radical acceptance, ACT, and more. My life is nowhere near perfect and in fact the past year has been one of a lot of growth (which is both painful and necessary to feel better). But it’s a hell of a lot better had I not pursued therapy. I’m not a psychologist but I’ve spent a ton of time and resources to not just survive, but live. And I love this show because I think Moftiss get that in their own way and portray it on tv in a profoundly respectful representation.

The very first Captain America comics came along in the early 1940′s, and were literally used to inspire men to be recruited into the military for help during the War. 

Now you want to take that same man and have him work for HYDRA all along. 

Even if you don’t respect the fact that so many fans became heartbroken and enraged because of this, respect the fact that you’re taking a 70+ year old good, pure character rooted in this country’s history and completely re-writing his morals. 

Respect the fact that young, new fans have no idea what to think about the fact that their idol, the superhero they knew and looked up to, was working for the bad guys all along. 

Respect the fact that his childhood best friend, Bucky Barnes, was tortured by these people and turned into a human weapon, a brainwashed shell of himself.

“Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing: that you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.”

You don’t deserve that shield, Nick Spencer.