A/N:this is so bad, so bad. also this is the thing i fucked up (i read the request wrong) im not gonna tag it bc it sucks and u deserve better also the title ?? idk
When Bucky first arrived at the tower, everyone assumed he wasn’t talkative because he had no trust for anyone. That the reason why he kept to himself was because he still needed to find out who he is before he could find out who everyone else is. Everyone thought that the reason he sent off a cold glare was because of his time with Hydra because he hasn’t left the mindset behind, because he doesn’t know what to do with the freedom of his own mind.
No, the reason why Bucky was all those things in the first few months back with Steve was because he was jealous of everyone. He was jealous about their lives and how they trusted each other. He was jealous of their superpowers and how they helped them to survive. He was jealous that they didn’t need to be paranoid, that they could live knowing that they’re free and a little naive. Bucky Barnes was jealous of the Avengers.
He was jealous of Sam and Tony because they got to fly. They got to experience freedom on a new level that people can only dream about; and it bothered him to see them act so nonchalantly about it. No matter how many times they were shot out of the sky, they would always be able to fly again. They had hope. Bucky wasn’t Sam or Tony or Rhodey, he was the man who fell off of a train, he was Icarus. He never flew, he never got to taste freedom like they did and that made him jealous. All his life he fell and as he did, as his back was facing the ground and his face towards the sky, he dreamed about flying away. He dreamed about being saved.
Bucky knew that Steve had it hard, he too had to wake up in a new century while leaving everything he has known behind, but still Bucky was jealous of Steve. Bucky hated the fact that when Steve was taken out of the ice, he could feel the sun’s warmth on his face as he was welcomed by the world because their hero was back. Bucky was jealous of how easy Steve had it compared to him, he was jealous that Steve had people there for him as he woke up from the ice. God seemed to like Steve better and Bucky hated it. Steve got to feel the sun, never flying too close while Bucky got to feel the coldness of ice every time he finished a mission, he got to feel the cold air of the dimly lit basement, he got to feel his cold metal arm every time he puts on his combat suit. Bucky was jealous of how Steve got life’s warm welcome as he got death’s cold embrace.
The thing he was most jealous was the freedom everyone had. He was jealous that Natasha got freedom and got to be herself even after everything she went through. He hated the fact that Thor and T’Challa had control of freedom of an entire world or country. They got to make the decisions, decisions he never got to make. He was jealous that Clint who could find freedom anywhere, whether it be on a perch and watch the world continue or with his family. Together, the Avengers could be themselves, they could be their true selves. Bucky? Bucky never got freedom and he never got to be himself and that’s why he was so annoyed with everyone when he got to the tower. He hated seeing everyone flaunt their freedom around, talking freely, not being worried about anything….being unafraid. He hated seeing them so confident and making life look easy. He hated it.
After a while though, the team shared their secrets. They shared their troubles with him and he saw that each of them was broken in their own way. He had seen what the outside world saw, he saw a perfect picture but when they talked to him, he realized that the team was a mosaic. A piece of art made out of many broken pieces that somehow still fit together and when placed next to each other they form a masterpiece. He was now part of that masterpiece, he was like the missing piece, the part that nobody knew they needed, the piece that brought the whole artwork together. He brought happiness and hope. And suddenly he felt bad for Icarus because even though he got to fly and feel the sun and be free, he fell, he fell alone with no one there to catch him. And maybe, just maybe, Icarus was now jealous of Bucky for even though Bucky got burned by the sun, the fall from grace would no longer one he would suffer alone because he had friends that would now do anything in their power to protect him, and Icarus never had any of that.
tpose is back for the first time in 4 years, said he’s sorry about his accent, was told last time he was here it was ugly (why would anyone tell him that yo, c’mon now)
dylan needs to go the bathroom
tpose hadn’t heard anything about dsharman returning, so, cross him off any rumoured lists going around
scott & stiles are being pulled in different directions this season, as friends irl argue, posey says their friendship can’t always be smooth sailing, also added he doesn’t know where they’ll be at for the next part of the season so take of that what you will regarding how the season ends?? idk
when asked about what scenes they’d re-do for fun or for improvement posey said “any scene where he had to make out with crystal” and dylan s said “me too”
posey said he really loved how the show had developed from a light hearted theme to a darker more psychological thriller, couldn’t pick a favourite thing, but season 1 was his favourite because of how close they all were– added though that they wouldn’t have dylan s without development (they’re obv close, mentioned A LOT how much they look up to each other, and they were wearing the same shoes, knew the answers to some of each other’s questions before the other had even answered)