idk...i don't feel like going back to look for it

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shyhawkeye requested: Chinese legend The Weaver Girl and the Cowherd

Through the varying shapes of the delicate clouds, the sad message of the shooting stars, a silent journey across the Milky Way, one meeting of the Cowherd and Weaver amidst the golden autumn wind and jade-glistening dew, eclipses the countless meetings in the mundane world. The feelings soft as water, the ecstatic moment unreal as a dream, how can one have the heart to go back on the bridge made of magpies? If the two hearts are united forever, why do the two persons need to stay together—day after day, night after night? 

anonymous asked:

i don't how to say it and i hope you'll get what i mean haha but... when you said that tianshan's relationship changed faster than zhanyi's... i think that's because zhanyi is "the main ship" and you'll think "wtf that means nothing" but idk i think that if their relationship developped w/o a succession of troubles then 19 days wouldn't even exist. if old xian wants to bless us with a happy ending then we just have to wait a little longer for zhanyi's relationship to change

hmmm no i don’t think that means nothing, but i also don’t think that either ship has any more weighting than the other.

i certainly don’t want a happy ending, or at least that’s not what i’m looking for. i think anyone who reads my fics can see how reluctant i am to make things just have a disney ending, because that’s just… not real, and not representative of either ship and how they interact with each other. there is no enjoyment for me in 19 days if there isn’t tension, and if there aren’t difficulties – that’s exactly why i like tianshan so much, because their whole relationship is founded upon tension. i’m not complaining abt the lack of tension. but fuck, you have got to have some resolution with that boatload of tension too.

i’m not asking for a smooth, easy ride here. all i want is for the boys to talk. that is literally it. i don’t want everything solved and for it to be fluffy. i just need some progression because progression is what satisfies a reader and moves a story on to the next problem, which should be solved, and so on.

read any guide or book or blog about writing a story – whether it’s a novel, a screenplay, a comic, a stage play, or whatever – and your story will be split into sections (‘acts’) of rising and falling tension, with each act having some minor resolution or another setback for the MC, which leads to the final climax, and gives the story a resolution (whether it be a good or a bad one). 19 days isn’t delivering on that. that’s all this is. when it all boils down to it, my dissatisfaction is not with the ship, or with the actions of the characters – it’s really just that the story is struggling to deliver on how to be a good, engaging story, because it’s not following a devised structure. yeah, you can go without structure, but while they’re an outstanding artist, old xian isn’t a good enough storyteller for that. 

i think you could say that 19 days wouldn’t exist for a hell of a lot of other reasons, so that’s not up for debate here. in a nutshell: we’re not waiting for a happy ending. we’re waiting for dynamic, engaging change/progression. that is not too much to ask from a story. that’s the bare minimum of what it should be delivering, because that is what a story is.

Ugh I feel so shitty about not posting as much tbh. Especially with YouTube. I’ve tried three times and it’s like I get burst of motivation and record 1 or 2 videos and then I’m just like nah. Idk I feel like I’m too cringey and every time I look back on old videos I’m so embarrassed. Just venting, I feel shitty :/ I’ve been going through a lot of struggle lately too, anxiety and depression is reallyyyyy getting to me lately.

I think I might try to start posting me singing and stuff since that way I don’t really have a reason to feel embarrassed bcuz even if I’m not the greatest singer I’m ok enough with my abilities to not die inside when I see a vid of me singing lmao. I’m learning some piano rn too but I’m not really doing it “properly” because I’m a guitar player. A lot of guitar for me at least, isn’t about theory. It’s more about just feeling it. So that’s what I’ve been doing. Tbh I can’t even read notes but I’ve been playing guitar since I was 11 and have played big shows and stuff before. I tried a few times but always just stuck with tabs and stuff. So that might be a thing soon.

Also I’m pretty sure me and bae are gonna be getting our own place on July 1st so yas I’m soooo so excited for that. We struggled for so long and this new job has just blessed my life. We’ve been buying little things for the new house like we got a cheap coffee table for $30 and some dollarama hauls, just like random cleaning supplies and kitchen supplies and whatnot. So pray I get accepted. I’ve only really rented from my mom before so she’s my only reference but hopefully they accept us cause it’s close to my work and it’s pretty cute I think. No dishwasher or microwave but whatever big deal I’m just happy to be moving out. Plus it’s on the 8th floor so awesome view.

Idk just a quick life update if anyone cares which probably not but whatever. Kind of a cry for help. Someone motivate me. And help me be not depressed. Idk

fuck’s sake this interview outfit feels like im WEARING the closet can i please just get a job looking like my actual damn self

and my mom is, as predicted, all over me to grow my hair back out and dress more ~conservatively~ and it’s making my skin crawl

on top of which the local coffee chain is apparently owned by some arch conservative douchebag who tried to get the city to change the route of the pride parade a few years ago so it wouldn’t go past one of their stores??? i don’t wanna fucking work here holy shit id rather sign my life off to sbux

.

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and you’ve almost promised Ramundu’s daughter to go back                              requested by onnceuponadream

@allofyouareidjits: Holy shit, I never thought about that lol

Victim:But I’m gay…

J:I-”

*stops mid sentence and looks hilariously confused*
*turns to Harley*

J: *whispers and points behind him*Did… Did he just find a loophole?

Harley: *shrugs*I guess so…

J: *scratches head as he continues looking puzzled*Well…

*turns back to almost-victim*

J:Congratulations! You’re free to go.

Victim:Wait, I don’t even know-

J:Just go before I change my mind.

*sits next to Harley*

J:Well, that was interesting.

After reading @brbimstudying ’s post, I decided to show my side of the story as well.

What you see here are only the pictures. You don’t see how my hand gets frequent spams and how my right arm is hurting because of how much I’m writing. You don’t see the migraines I get practically every single day because of stress and exhaustion, to the point when I’m actually having to go to a neurologist.

You don’t see how many mental breakdowns I’ve had over a grade. You don’t see how many hours I’ve spent just lying in my bed because I’ve been studying for too long and now I’m too dizzy to get up. You don’t see all the times I cried and “gave up”.

I don’t know why, but I don’t really give up. I keep coming back to it.

Yesterday, I had a free afternoon and got home around 6pm. I studied until 10pm and had to listen to my parents go on and on about how irresponsible I was, just “throwing away study hours like that”. Had to listen about my math grade. I know about the math grade.

I am human. I am not motivated 24/7, or happy to study all the time. Sometimes I sit and stay there because I HAVE to, because I feel a terrible guilt when I stop. I fight my back, arm ,and hand pains and I keep going.

That’s what you don’t see.

haechannie-exe  asked:

"I don't want to be left alone" Jikook

It was rare to see Jungkook show his age. Being surrounded by professionalism at such a young age had made him stony, maybe even fearing to show any emotional leeway which would remind those around him that he was only just bordering maturity. Tears were saved for the shower, but even then, it wasn’t often that their schedule allowed them the time to have a few minutes to themselves- even in the dorm. 

So, when Jimin had entered the bathroom with a towel slung over his shoulder, ready for a shower, only to see the youngest on the tiled flooring with his back to the glass, he found himself in momentary shock. Sure Jungkook got upset every now and again, after all, they were all only human- but it’d been years since he last saw him cry as wholeheartedly as he was now. 

“Jungkook?” Clicking the door shut behind him, Jimin approached, brows furrowed as the wails gave way to choked hiccups. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

His knees were pulls to his chest with arms wrapping securely around the limbs, and at the hearing of Jimin’s questioning, his head dipped low to hide his face. “Fine.” Was the only answer that Jungkook offered, his voice raspy and echoing off the walls of the bathroom. 

“You don’t look fine.” 

“Am I not allowed to look less than perfect, then?” The ice in his voice startled Jimin, and it took the older a few seconds before he could reply. Jungkook could be rude, but it was always a joke. This, however, was no joke, and Jimin’s concern continued to rise. 

“You’re allowed to be upset, Jungkookie, you’re only human. Is this,” Again there was another pause, Jimin’s hand hovering over Jungkook’s shoulder for a moment before being softly placed down- a comforting gesture which had Jungkook, from where he was hiding himself, squeezing his eyes shut to stop further tears from escaping. “Is this about what you told me a few months back?”

Being part of the ‘Maknae Line’ allowed him to maintain a fairly close relationship with Jungkook and Taehyung, as they were all able to talk fairly comfortably around each other. Because of this, Jimin found that Jungkook would, when pestered, unload his worries unto him with minimal hesitation. It’d been one of these times where Jimin had discovered that Jungkook, at the time, struggled with his title of ‘Golden Maknae’- the pressure of always having to be perfect wearing on his patience and confidence.

“Fans are talking about my grades.” Jungkook’s voice was still raspy, but his tone was softer, now. “It’s just hard. I have to try hard at school, but if I do that, then I’m lacking in practice, but then if I try my best in practice, I don’t have enough energy to keep up with the school-work. It just keeps piling up. I don’t have the time. I don’t want to let anybody down but,” 

Now, sitting next to the youngest, Jimin pulled him close with his arm wrapping around Jungkook’s shoulders which had begun to quiver again. “You’re trying your best, and that’s all you can do.”

“I can’t keep up, Hyung. It’s too difficult.” The crying started again, but not nearly as violent as before as Jungkook rested in Jimin’s embrace. If he’d known of the stress the youngest was under, Jimin would’ve offered to help him a long time ago. He’d ask later, he supposed, and instead kept his focus on the dampness of his shirt as Jungkook’s tears landed on the material. 

“It’s okay to not be perfect. You’re only human, Jungkook, you can be great at everything.” 

“But,” There was silence again as Jungkook hesitated on finishing his sentence. Jimin didn’t push him, instead opting to rest his head against the youngest’s, taking a breath as he stared at the bathroom door. Curiosity plagued his mind briefly as he wondered if the others could hear the exchange, before deciding that he didn’t care. Perhaps it would be better if they did. “I don’t want to be left alone.”

“Jungkook,” Jimin looked down at his friend, trying not to dwell on the swollen eyes and reddened nose and cheeks- a face which was only an echo of Jungkook’s usual persona. “You’re never going to be alone.”

- Admin J