idk-i-like-it

You shut me out as I welcomed you in with open arms and I baked you warmth and fed you affection although I saw the rage
in your eyes on that Friday night because I took you to the football field where you had your first kiss and you didn’t say a word as I walked you through the turf and I saw your hands trembling, so I held them and god I must have cried because
we woke up in morning dew
with mascara running down my cheeks and I leaned over to
kiss yours but
you were colder than my insides have ever been and I swear my lips froze before they ever got the chance to touch yours but
I’m so happy that you walked off the field when you did. And I’m so glad you left me there alone that morning with my hair being pulled out and I’m so ecstatic that you left when my lungs were screaming at the
sky because fuck
you were never going to stay no matter how many people could hear my roars and you were never going to stay
no matter how many times I bought you coffee in the morning.
I was going to stay every night that I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror and I want you to know
I cared about you more than you will ever care about yourself.
—  I gave you everything I ever saw beauty in and you gave me nothing but cold hands that you wouldn’t allow me to turn warm