idk why this makes me lol

Muggle AU:

Where ex-con (just from being in the wrong place at the wrong time) Draco Malfoy is desperately looking for a job fresh out of prison and answers an ad looking for full-time help for a wheelchair bound patient and Draco jumps at the chance thinking it’ll be some sweet old octogenarian he’d have to care for and atleast he’d have a roof over his head and regular meals but then he goes to the given address, this enormous old house and in there there’s this ruggedly handsome, green eyed man around his own age, an ex-deputy commissioner who retired due to a spinal injury that left him unable to walk and Draco just!!!

But he takes the job because he  recalls him to be the same cop who’d argued in Draco’s favour when he’d been arrested and had ensured he’d gotten into minimum security with a reduced sentence. 

And Harry’s just the most ill-tempered, grumpy, crotchety idiot Draco’s ever seen but somehow Harry can’t bring himself to fire Draco like he’d fired so many others because not only does Draco take really good care of him but for some reason the blond seems to be the only one not scared to stand up to him, and pretty soon they’re like an old married couple bickering every hour of the day, and Draco wheels him to the park every evening and they sit there reading or sometimes just being there together. And Harry’s friends learn to expect Draco to be present wherever Harry is and Draco finally knows what it feels like to be part of an actual family. And when Harry angrily fires his physiotherapist after an unsuccessful session Draco takes it upon himself to help Harry walk again and after months of patience on both their parts there’s actually enough improvement for hope.

So one day they have a particularly nasty fight and Draco actually packs his bags and makes to leave and Harry wheels out of his room in a panic looking for him and Draco’s at the front door almost about to leave when he hears Harry calling out to him and there’s an enormous crash of some sort and Draco turns and watches in horror as the wheelchair bounces down the stairs but when he looks again Harry’s still at the top clutching onto the railing, standing on buckling legs yelling at Draco to get his head out of his arse and come back. And then Draco simply flies up the stairs to him and he can barely see through his tears and then they’re both crying and laughing and kissing and Harry asks Draco to promise never to leave and Draco is only too happy to oblige and then they get married and adopt four kids and twelve dogs omg

Tikki is struck by modern times and learns that sweets can, indeed, make up every meal.

It’s April. The holidays have been over for almost four months. My mind lives unbound by the sands of time. I was hit by this at like 7 in the morning.

Artwork ©: alazic02

Do not repost.

3

hockey tough is just regular stupid

in which a steeler doesn’t understand why bones is walking on his peg leg

(ps if someone else could please gif this like the struggle was real since i have no idea what i was doing or if this will work)

anonymous asked:

do you know that benjamin steven guy who used to maybe be friends with phil in the early days of youtube and stuff? don't know much about him but i just found a tweet from him to phil talking about dan and he said "fuck you making him popular! he already got 400 subs in a day >.<" and idk why but i'm laughing so much

one last thing: and benjamin tried so hard to get phil’s attention but he failed so miserably, i kinda feel bad lmao BenAndPhilGames is a thing at some alternate universe

I honestly had no idea who this guy was before you mentioned this, so I typed in his name & AmazingPhil in Twitter’s search bar and all these old tweets popped up:

This dude was more thirsty for Phil than Dan was and Phil rarely ever replied

I feel bad for him LOL

buzzfeed.com
Which Samwell Men's Hockey Team Member Are You?
Have you ever thought "Man this SMH team member is me?" Well now you can double check and see if they're actually your true match with this quiz! (made by tumblr user thehockeyhaus)
By appleschloss21

Ok so I got inspried by a post from @onethousandroaches where they mentioned the smh team and a buzzfeed quiz so I spent a few hours making this. I’m definitely, probably going to make more in the future. It was tons of fun but I like when there’s a lot of options, which is why it took me so long lol.

Please lmk what you think, reblog with your results <3 and if you see any errors like lmk that too!

jungianca6  asked:

Wow, since 2013... I wonder how Tumblr and all sites were back in the day when S1 came out. Unfortunately I missed it and joined until last year lmao. Hey, you're like a veteran of the Snk fandom

I am indeed one of the veteran squad haha, idk why spending years of my life being a weeb should make me proud but I kind of am lmao

but I’ve seen some crazy shit, no regrets

*opens old fandom folder* let’s see
one thing I don’t miss from 2013 is whip wars, we still have some, but 2013 ships wars were fucking brutal lol

half of snk 2013 fandom was plastering this face of Levi on everything

this pose too

2013 fandom basically

the gifs were everything lmao

MI CASA jokes everywhere because we were that lame lmao (like we aren’t now lol)

literally very unnecessary horse jean edits, like why lmao (and why do I have it saved qsfsfs)

BIG ASS  TREES


qsfdsfs sorry I opened this old folder of mine and got carried away, I’m so surprised of all the shit I still have saved lmao

but yeah lol

Masculine Poses for Inquiring Trans Guys

Having spent my whole life posing to be “pretty” (from family portraits to Porn shoots), I found myself wanting to look more masculine in my personal photos. But how? I looked through Tumblr and all I really found were a bunch of man-butts – which wasn’t terrible, but also wasn’t what I was looking for. So I did my own research and made this post for anyone else who was wondering! 

Just an important note: this is not meant in any way to uphold gender roles. I just want to help people out who want to express themselves more masculinely in visual media or who are self-conscious of photos because they don’t want to look like a girl (i.e. me, and probably most pre T boys). Regardless of your sex, gender, race, orientation, origin, or class, you should be allowed to be yourself! I just wanted to point out some rules of conventional photography and posing that allow a person to present in a more “masculine” way :)

So, some things to remember when taking photos that will accentuate your masculinity:

  • Your eyes should follow the line of your nose.
  • A lot of photography has men squinting. Not sure why, but maybe they’re on to something?
  • Closed hands (a.k.a. fists or loose fists) are considered more masculine than open hands in photography. If your hands are open, keep your palms pointed down and try to shoot the tops of your hands. The sides of the hands are considered dainty and womanly.
  • When posing, try not to raise the shoulder you have pointed at the camera or tilt your head toward a raised shoulder. If you do a head tilt, tilt your shoulders in the same direction as your head. It sounds complicated, but there’s a picture of it below!
  • IT IS OKAY TO SMILE! If you feel like smiling makes you look too feminine or makes you look silly, try a smirk or a lustful look. Or just look serious I guess. IDK, I’m new to this too so :P In porn there’s this look they have us do called “fashion face.” You literally make no expression, you just stare at the camera like you have resting bitch face. If you’re not one for smiles, try it, you might like it! (I personally make an effort not to look angry or depressed in my photos, and I have always sucked at faces so that’s why I rambled here. Don’t hate me lol).
  • Try to accentuate your jawline – find a facial pose that makes the jawline look strong and present. Always keep your chin tilted up and toward the camera!

Here are some photos of different poses considered masculine in conventional art and photography (there is one that has more anime-style poses for those of you who like to cosplay or just like to be really cool!):

In the end, it’s important to remember that it will take time to grow into your body, and it will take time to learn how to command it, too. If you’re like me and have to wait a few more years before you can start T, but you still want the world to see you as you are, I’m sure this will help. I’ll be trying out some of these poses and uploading them here, and I’d love to see yours. I know my blog is small, and I’m no expert, but I really hope this reaches anyone who needs it.

Favorites of 2016

Idk why, but I wanted to make a post of my favorite pieces that I’ve written in 2016 (some self positivity maybe idk lol)

Feel free to let me know your favorites (bc it would make me really happy), either off this list or something I didn’t include from my main writing list 😊

My Writing

Drarry

Scorbus

Wolfstar

Deamus

Jeddy

Linny

Flintwood

Dad!Draco

anonymous asked:

Can you do a headcanon or whatever it's called about the MC spamming Saeran messages until he replies? I just played the April fools DLC and thought it was funny that you had the option to say "why did you never answer me after the prologue, unknown?" Lol

A/N: Sorry Saeran, babe, time to be annoyed

wow okay this is horrible and im sorry like i had an idea for it and the idea just.. flew right out of the fucking window idk what happened but i hope??? this makes you laugh even a little bit

Masterlist~


It had been 5 days since some mysterious guy texted you and coaxed you into this apartment- practically slapping you in the middle of this group who keep calling themselves the RFA. They seemed to be on edge and wary of you, which is understandable- but you couldn’t answer their questions. They wanted to know where you came from, what you wanted, but you couldn’t give any answers, hell, you couldn’t get any answers of your own!

There was only one text. One from this ‘Unknown’ person, who basically said the fun would start now. But what fun? What did they want from you? What did they expect you to do here, with these people… surely they didn’t lure you here just so you could make new friends and suddenly do charity work.

You’ve had enough, it was time to get some answers.

You picked up your phone, scrolling through the messages to find Unknown’s at the bottom.

The last text was from you, moments after being thrown into a RFA chat room, asking who the hell he was. Wow, MC, you’re really trusting, aren’t you. Sure, going to some strangers apartment and breaking in, what a good idea. You were starting to think that picture he sent you was fake, too. Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself to text him, not giving up until you got an answer. Hovering your thumbs over the keyboard, you decided to approach this casually.

“Don’t leave me on read you bitch”

Smooth, MC, real smooth. So casual, good job.

“I didn’t mean to call you bitch, autocorrect”

Nice save!

“Sooo… what’s up?”

You waited about an hour with still no response, but you didn’t let that discourage you.

“Anyway, so I had a sandwich today, that was pretty good. You ate, right?”

“Even if you only had a snack, that’s good too.”

“I like sandwiches. Do you like sandwiches?”

Another few hours went by with no reply and now you were just angry.

“Okay, I’m not playing anymore. Who are you?”

“Why am I here?”

“What do you want from me?”

“Who’s apartment is this! Is it yours? Am I going to find your clothes in this closet?”

“…am… am I going to find a body in this closet?”

A few of the members were in a chat room, you decided to break and talk with them. Maybe you’d come back to some texts!

No new messages

Son of a bitch.

It was time to up your game. What could you do? What would catch this guys attention?

You found a ton of text messages you could copy and paste- making sure they were full of emojis and sexual innuendos, like those holiday ones that go around.

Nothing? It’s been a whole day now- what was his problem? Professional at leaving you on read? Fine- you’ll just have to rest tonight and try again tomorrow.

For the next few days, you spent all of your free time texting Unknown a bunch of random things you’ve thought of, as if his texts were your diary. You even sent him the entire Bee Movie script- 27 times! Nothing! No messages! Nothing at all!

You took to writing down every swear word you knew. Anything you could call him- you did. Anything nice you could compliment him on, you did. Anything you could possibly imagine to ask randomly, you did.

“Do you think cats have feelings?”

“Woah, bitch, wait, do you think pigeons get sad because they don’t have ears?”

“Do pigeons listen to Metallica?”

Finally, you gave up- this was your last resort.

“H”

“E”

“Y”

“U” “N” “K” “N” “O” “W” “N”

Suddenly, your phone lit up with a call- you didn’t hesitate to hit answer.

“Oh my GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. DAYS. IT’S BEEN DAYS. YOU HAVE TEXTED ME UTTER NONSENSE FOR DAYS. What is wrong with you? What do you want?! What the fuck is your problem?! I wish I could turn my phone off just to fucking ignore you, but I can’t! I have to deal with message after message from you! I wish I could block your number but I fucking CAN’T! Text me again and I swear to GOD I will come over there, and it will be the last thing you ever do!”

After his rant, he hung up the phone and you sat in the middle of the bed, staring into space. You didn’t get any of the answers you wanted, but at least now you knew he got your messages in the first place. About ten minutes later, you snapped out of your trance and looked down at your phone.

“Hey Unknown, you’ve got a nice voice”

“I’m going to fucking end you.”