idk why i just know that i cant

at a restaurant that was ranked $ on yelp

sasuke: so i fucked kankuro

sakura: oh my god why do you only hang out with me when you fuck weird people

sasuke: cause i cant talk honestly about it with naruto cause im tryina make him jealous and i cant tell taka bc they dont know what a secret is. god keep up ur supposed to the smart one but you dont get basic sex drama

sakura: i hate you sooooo much

sasuke: look do u wanna know about how weird the sex was or not. i can go

sakura: no you cant youre paying for our food

sasuke: WHY DO YOU HATE POOR GAY MEN

sakura: JUST TELL ME

sasuke: ok. so. saying i fucked him is generous. its more like. he gave me a handjob

sakura: did you not return the favor? that’s cold

sasuke: no listen i tried. i was poppin out the second condom and everything. i was ready

sakura: idk how badly you needed condoms for a handjob

sasuke: let me have safe sex

sakura: okay good job. go on

sasuke: but like then he looked me dead in the eyes, roughly pulled all his clothes all the way back on and said, “hey you know when gaara was like 13 he jacked off to you and WAS NOT subtle. so i just can’t stop thinking about that throughout this. so i gotta go” AND LEFT

sakura: [CHOKING ON HER UNFILTERED ICED WATER]

sasuke: WE WERE AT HIS HOUSE

(( hey so uh, ive been kinda stressed and flooded lately? i know im basically on here all the time, but then its like “why dont you draw our asks?” or “you cant draw our responses?” then, and i really really do want to but when i actually do find time to draw i get fucking exhausted, and,,. i just feel like a really bad mun idk. its frustrating for me too and i try to push forward and all that shit.. im sorry guys.))

  • phone: *ring ring*
  • Lance: *picks up phone* hey Shiro I'm just hanging out with Keith what's up
  • Shiro: I'm at the store I just wanted to know if you guys needed anything
  • Keith: *odd crunching in background*
  • Shiro: please tell me Keith isn't eating raw spaghetti out of the container again
  • Lance: *looks at Keith, who has stopped crunching*
  • Keith: *shakes head slowly*
  • Lance: no

have you ever finished a book or show and just had the strongest longing to be a part of that universe, where you have special abilities like them and friendships like them, and sure life is hard there but you know you’re special, you’re valuable, and that everything will be okay in the end

10

M: I don’t know why this was so important to everyone… I like other things besides just boys, guys. 

5

CTK: *sighs*
TK: geez, what is with this lady?

Heh. Finally got around to finishing my short comic on V “meeting” TK and figuring out they are the ‘same’ monster. Idk. It’s just a short little thing I though would get some laughs. Although I struggled REAL hard on the panel with TK, WHY CANT I DRAW HIM AS GOOD AND ADORABLE AS PERF!!!! Augh! I finally just gave up and stuck with my sketch. I can draw CTK just fine. Why must smol children be so hard for me to draw?!?! =^=

BTW, as a side note, V likes to give nicknames and I think she’s pretty set on calling TK TickTack. Cause you know, he’s small, white and has a “minty” freshness to him! Eeeeeeyyyy *finger guns*

Hope it made you smile!
TK and CTK © @perfectshadow06
V © me

It Started With A Treehouse (G.D.)

I havent written any Grayson smut in forever soooooo here take this garbage lmao

@scuteedolans @dangly-feather-earring-dolan @pinksnapbackbullshit

              Ethan, Grayson, and I had been inseparable for our entire lives. We grew up as neighbors, the twins ran into my backyard and climbed into my tree house scaring the hell out of me when we were five years old and the rest is pretty much history. Our parents became friends, we went on vacations together, we were babysat together, and we got along great so we basically grew up in each other’s pockets. As we got older the twins grew like weeds and bulked up quite a bit. There was no denying that they were handsome young men, I just wasn’t attracted to either of them. Or so I thought.

                As time went on, I realized a little part of me always loved Grayson a little bit more than Ethan. I always gave in to him, whether it be where we went to eat or what game we played. All he had to do was look up at me through the thick fringe of his eyelashes with those big hazel puppy dog eyes and my resolve would crumble in an instant. His face would split into a beautiful grin, flashing his brilliant white teeth, and I’d melt. Of course, to his face I would scoff and pretend to be irritated but I was never really upset. I don’t think I ever could be.

               It was late on Saturday night, and my phone rang with a text message.

*Group Chat*

G: hey sluts, movie night?

E: first off, rude. second, no.

Me: why not E? hot date tonight?! Lmaooooo

G: yeah right, Y/N. maybe with his left hand.

Me: EW

E: HEY LISTEN I COULD GET A DATE IF I WANTED ONE

G: suuuuuure ya could buddy.

E: I don’t see you on many dates dear brother so….

Me: OH SICK BURN BABY

G: you two are the worst

E: aww ya sad now?

Me: yeah gray, ya gonna cry?

G: fuck offfffff. Is anyone coming to watch this fucking movie with me or what????

E: I already said no, dingus. I’m sleeping at Aaron’s house tonight

G: so you DO have a hot date!

Me: don’t let things get too sexy tonight E!

E: you are both monsters.

Me: gray I’m in for a movie if you want. As long as its nothing that sucks.

G: do my choices ever suck?????

Me: um remember the 4th of july with the twizzlers and half a bottle of fireball???

G: I MEANT MY MOVIE CHOICES NOT MY LIFE CHOICES Y/N.

Me: mhmmmmmm

G: I came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now.

E: gray that was lame

Me: you are LITERALLY a living meme

G: yeah but you love me baby!

E: I don’t!

Me: yeah yeah whatever I’ll be over in 5

G: YAY!

               I put my phone in my pocket before I slipped my shoes on. I called out to my mother to let her know where I was going on my way out the door. I walked across the driveway and into the Dolan’s front yard. I didn’t bother knocking and I just walked inside. I knew everyone else was gone because the only car in the driveway was Grayson’s. That’s when reality hit. I was alone with him in this big house. Why the fuck was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden? I needed to relax and act normal. I could not let my minor crush come bubbling to the surface right this very second.

               “GRAYSON BAILEY DOLAN WHERE YOU AT?!” I shouted from the front hallway. “I’M IN HERE!” I heard him yell in response from the living room. I grinned and started running. When I hit the living room I dove over the arm of the couch and tackled Grayson onto the cushions. “Y/N what the hell girl?! Are you tryin to kill me?” He said while laughing. His laughter shook my body as I was still on top of him. “You know I like to make an entrance.” I said while climbing off of him. I flopped onto the couch next to him with my feet in his lap. “Go ahead G, fire it up!” He chuckled while pressing play on the remote.

               About an hour into the movie, I started to get tired and uncomfortable because of the way I was sitting. Grayson’s large hand wrapped around my ankle. Still staring at the screen, he said “Stop squirming.” My heartbeat quickened just a little and I let out a fake irritated sigh. He patted his thigh and said “Come on.” I smiled a little and rearranged myself so my head was resting in his lap. Grayson knew this was my favorite way to lay but he also knew I always fell asleep like this too. Sure enough he started stroking my hair and in a matter of minutes I was asleep.

               About an hour later I started to wake up but Grayson was still stroking my hair so I didn’t open my eyes. Call me selfish but it was soothing and I didn’t want him to stop. I cracked one eye open and his phone was close enough to my face that I could read his texts. Now I didn’t want to spy but teasing Gray was kinda my favorite thing and if there was something funny in his texts I could use against him, you can bet your ass I would. He was texting Ethan and the hand that wasn’t stroking my hair, was flying over his keyboard.  It took all of my strength not to shiver while reading his conversation.

G: e I need help

E: whats up bro?

G: im freaking out. Y/N’s head is in my lap

E: dude this isn’t new. she does that all the time

G: e you KNOW this is different. You know how I feel about her!

E: yeah and that’s why I went to Aarons! Man up!

G: I don’t know what to do! God damn it I want to touch her so bad

E: okay well don’t be weird about it. Just like touch her arm or something idk man!

G: ethan you have no idea what she does to me I cant fucking breathe rn

E: well im going to leave you to it FIGURE IT OUT BUD!

G: ETHAN NO

G: ETHAN I SWEAR TO GOD

G: FUCK

               He clicked the power button on his phone and threw it onto the other side of the couch, and his head dropped back, a sigh escaping his lips. Now that I knew he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him, I pulled the courage from inside of me and decided that I was going to make the move to go further. I pretended to still be asleep and I rolled over so my face was inches from his toned stomach. I could hear him gasp above me and I bit back a grin. I stretched out like a cat as his hand ran down my spine. I slowly dragged my hand over the growing bulge in Grayson’s jeans. A groan spilled from his lips and I could feel his body tense up. I slowly blinked my eyes open and grinned up at him. “Are you sure sweetheart? Because if we do this, you gotta be sure.” He asked quietly. I could see the hope shining in his eyes and a shy grin appeared on his face as I nodded.

               As soon as he had confirmation that I was okay with this, a fire ignited in his eyes and his hand traveled down between my thighs. He began rubbing small tight circles over my clit through my leggings. All reasonable thought flew out of my head at the feeling of his fingers on my most sensitive area. My hips bucked against his hand and moans spilled from my lips. “These need to come off.” Grayson said, pulling at my pants. I stood up and removed my leggings, feeling exposed. “C’mere baby.” He said, grabbing my hips and pulling me into his lap.

               Grayson tucked his head into my neck and nipped at the sensitive skin. My hips began to grind down onto his thick thigh and I couldn’t control my sighs as my clit rubbed against the denim of his jeans. At this point I was so turned on I couldn’t see straight. “Fuck baby. You like riding my thigh? Does that feel good?” Grayson growled, his hands guiding my hips back and forth on his leg. “Yes! Hngg-oh my god Grayson!” I whined out. One of his hands left my hip and snaked down to rub me through my panties. He pushed them to the side and sank 2 thick fingers into me. I gasped at the intrusion and he grinned me, knowing exactly what he was doing to me. I tipped my head down and sealed my lips with his. He pumped his fingers in and out of my dripping center and my mouth fell open. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I could feel that heat coiling in my belly.

               Grayson withdrew his fingers from my pussy and brought them up to my mouth. I sucked his index finger into my mouth, wrapping my tongue around the thick digits. I looked into his eyes as I continued sucking and he let out a low hiss.

               “That’s it. Enough fucking around.” He growled as he flipped me onto my back. Grayson stood up and unbuckled his pants, yanking them down along with his boxers. He pushed my knees apart and settled between my thighs. “Please Grayson. I need you.” I whined, on the brink of tears. “Shh don’t cry baby. Daddy knows what you need.” He whispered, lining his length up with my entrance. He pushed into me slowly, giving me time to adjust to his size.

               Grayson pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in, an animalistic sound ripping out of my throat. He began thrusting into me at a near punishing pace and I couldn’t contain the sounds spilling from my lips. “Please Daddy! God you feel so good! I can’t hold on!” I screamed. “Yeah that’s right baby. Tell me how good you feel. Tell me how much you need my cock.” Grayson grunted into my ear, his warm breathe fanning over my heated skin. “Ugh-Gray you feel so good inside me. Your cock is the best I’ve ever had! I’m gonna come!” I whimpered in response.

               His hand gently tightened around my throat, beginning to cut off my air supply. He kept thrusting quickly, his face twisting and contorting as he chased his release. His hand kept tightening around my throat and the air was getting thinner and thinner. The lack of oxygen made my blood feel like it was boiling and my clit was throbbing. Just as my vision started to darken Grayson removed his hand and used it to rub my clit in tight circles as I sucked in a huge breath. The sudden intake of oxygen mixed with his touches threw me right over the edge as I exploded around him. “FUCK!” Grayson shouted into the empty room as my pussy continued to flutter around him. After another half dozen powerful thrusts he stilled inside me as his orgasm washed over him. After he spilled his seed inside me, he collapsed on top of me, his head on my chest.

               “Wow. Y/N do you know how I’ve wanted this? How long I’ve wanted you?” He whispered into my damp skin. I ran my fingers through his messy hair and whispered back “I’m guessing, as long as I’ve wanted you?” He was quiet before responding. “Y/N please don’t tell me this was a one time thing? I want you to be mine. Like, forever ya know?” Grayson said, lifting his head to look me in the eyes. I cradled his face in my hand. “I’ve been yours since you and your idiot brother stormed my treehouse when we were five years old Grayson Bailey Dolan. I’m not going anywhere.”

[sort of started here]

Vader: [text] luke?? luke pls respond pls
Luke: i dont know what u want me to say
Vader: come back here and we can talk about it ill tell u everything
Luke: absolutelynot
Vader: im not the one who lied to u!!! that was obiwan!!! be mad at him i know i totally am!!!!!!
Luke: um u cut off my hand
Vader: ok so mistakes were made but also im ur dad and u were yelling at me 
Luke: 🙄
Vader: look just come here. the important thing is that obiwans dead and now that we both know the truth you and i can bond and i can explain all of it  
Luke: bens not dead u know
Vader: what
Luke: hes notdead. ive spoken to him. i mean hes not alive either though i think it’s sort of a greyarea
Vader: what the fuck are u talking about son did they give u a lot of pain pills 
Luke: i dont know what he did? but he’s like a ghost that can talk to me sometimes. with the force
Vader: he came back from the dead and he can talk to force users???
Luke: …apparently? anyways the next time i seethat guy hes getting an earful 
Vader: what ur suggesting isnt possible son. u cant cheat death. trust me.
Vader: also if obiwan was a ghost he’d come visit me first
Luke: look i dont knw what to tell u but ive heard and seen him. 
Vader: seriously? like it was really him?
Luke: omg why am i eventalking to u 
Vader: what did he say?
Luke: idk stuff about the force 
Vader: what else? did he mention me at all??
Luke: what is WRONG WITH YOU. youre trying to get me to join u and all u want to know is what ben’s ghost said about u???
Vader: im just curious!!!!!! im sorry but it literally makes no sense that hed talk to u first 
Luke: omfg
Luke: r u jealous??? 
Vader: no
Luke: right

oooh  man i suddenly remember my first Lesbian awakening experience. it was like…. the moment i was like. “wrow girls are neat!” and it was at a middle school birthday party with one of my church friends and it was like? idk 1 or 2 am and we were playing truth or dare and i remember i thought that the birthday girl’s sister or cousin (i cant remember) was really pretty and i wanted to look cool in front of her and idk maybe i radiated gay energy or something because i got dared to give her a hickey on her Leg  and let me tell you i was sweating and i was so nervous and embarrassed about basically kissing that girl’s leg. and i didnt know why until like 10 minutes later when i kept thinking about the mark i made and i was just like “oh boy” 

anonymous asked:

So, what are the probabilities of jjp being real?

hmm….that’s a good question anon. because we don’t know what happens off camera or if something is just fanservice. And if they are real, we don’t know if they’re using fanservice as a cover!! It’s just really hard to tell, but I think that it is  real in a sense. They might just be extremely close friends since they’ve been together since JJProject, (which is a REALLY long time) and their close bond could get mistaken for love. But sometimes I feel like those lingering stares and those touches could mean something more??? (I did my research and found some gifs online to help me)

he stares at jinyoung’s lips for a while, as if he’s mesmerized (and last time I checked I don’t see friends staring at each other like that)

External image

External image
Like I said, something like this could get mistaken for something more even though it’s probably fan service

but for some reason (cause I’m trash) I feel like certain moments are a little off?? like little actions that should be waved off as just being “friends” seems to have a lot more meaning to it than it should? Idk something about the way they interact doesn’t feel like “just friends”……it just doesn’t feel right

Originally posted by 106922

 

External image

Originally posted by little-jyp

Originally posted by shytuan

Originally posted by missladybug019

Originally posted by sevendless

Originally posted by nexttimeisnotthesame


why did they close their eyes

Originally posted by bubblejoy

Originally posted by periwin5les

Originally posted by tjaebum

I’m using a lot of gifs where they stare at each other because you cant hide emotion in your eyes. and the way its filled with so much love just….I don’t know. But if you focus on the way how they look at each other, touch each other, and smile at each other….I think you’ll know the answer if they’re real or not.

wlw queerbaiting survey results!

thank you to every wlw skam fan who took mine and @aliciqvikander ‘s survey! we ended up with 313 responses! below is a summary of each question.

disclaimer: though it was explicitly stated that the survey was for wlw, there were several straight people that decided to take the survey and give disrespectful/homophobic answers, and they were deleted from the survey pool. this survey is by and for wlw skam fans, and the below statistics will reflect that. the point of this survey was to give wlw skam fans a place to share their thoughts, not for straight people to spout homophobic rhetoric.

Keep reading

i DONT work sundays

I opened the restaurant by myself the other day and the mid shift didnt get there till 10 am. I was in immense pain cause of neck injury that led to something worse yadada pain. Two people were scheduled to close, one of the new girls and the manager. So like its 11 am and the phone rings and its the new girl and she goes “ Um, i just got the schedule and it says i work sunday but…i DONT work sundays.” She said it like i was supposed to know or something. Our scheduals are sent by email and theres also a physical schedule at work. So it makes no sense that shes only noticing this NOW. Im like “what…what does that mean?”…“well i told (other manager) but she basically said that its my problem.” You cant call out anymore, you HAVE to find someome to cover you. “Yea, it is. Idk why youre calling though?” Ive got shit to do, instead of telling me she could be texting everyone else. “ Well, like, i work the weekends but i DONT work sundays, like i cant.” …“okay, did you tell the manager that does the scheduling? ” …“no, i just figured when i applied they would read my availability was just the weekend…” What? WHAT? “Well you need to call her and tell her youre not coming to work and shes gonna be closing by herself, bye.” *click* she calls back like 10 minutes later “I called her, she didnt answer so i left a message.” “Ok youre probably gonna get written up? Shes closing by herself now, you had all week to look at the schedual at work.” “I feel shitty. But like, not shitty at my job, just like shitty.” Yes, you are a shitty employee pulling this shit, its one sunday, Christ. “…yea ok, i tell her when (manager) walks in. Have fun.” *click*
I swear to jesus this girl is useless, she did her week of training, and now she only works 2 damn days a week, and she wonders why shes not making money. Wtf.

Tl;dr shitty coworker calls in day of, when she had all week to look at the physical schedule.

OK heres some adhd lance headcanons since i just Cant Resist

if this makes it way around i just wanna say: shaladins dont touch this post

ANYWAY

  • lance, staring at a wall of text: haha idk what in fresh hell this says
  • it takes him approximately 2 hours to do anything shiro asks him to bc of Executive Dysfunction
    • shiro: lance we need to form voltron
    • lance, 2 hrs later: ok sure
  • at any given moment he has upwards of 18 stim toys in his pockets. why else would  he need a jacket in space
  • his hyperfixation is cats
    • lance, over comms, while fighting a galra soldier: hey guys did you know that cats only meow to communicate with humans?
  • anytime someone mentions cats he Knows and he Appears so he can infodump
  • he gets distracted doing pretty much Anythign so he ends up putting his belongings in really weird places
    • found his shoes in the fridge once
    • “LANCE WHY ARE YOUR PANTS HANGING ON MY LION”
  • pidge: lance why are you chewing on your napkin
  • lance, completely oblivious: what
  • if he sees anything on the ground that Shouldnt Be There (coins/bottlecaps/etc) he Has to pick it up and will put it in his mouth unless someone takes it from him
    • he gets sick a lot bc of this
  • Cannot hear people when they talk for more than like 5 minutes
    • shiro: (talking about some important thing)
    • lance: wow i bet he thinks i know what hes saying rn. Wild
  • always bouncing his leg to the point where pidge speculates he gets actual exercise. when ppl ask him to stop he just hesitates for like 10 seconds and then continues Bouncing
  • gets bored so much
    • lance: hunk im bored
    • hunk: go do something then
    • lance: i CANT hunk im TOO BORED
  • puts stickers in his mouth more than anything else
    • pidge, horrified: thats not what those are for lance
  • always chews gum bc it helps him think & bc its the only thing that effectively keeps him from putting random things in his mouth
    • always has a pack in his pocket
    • his favorite flavor is spearmint
    • there’s no gum in space so when he runs out he Suffers :(
  • he needs glasses pretty bad but he cant wear them bc seeing the frames in his periphery Ruins his focus
    • he also hates the feeling of contacts so he just walks around not really being able to see anything thats not right in front of him

if you wanna add on 2 this Blease do i love adhd lance thanks & goodnight

okay heres a list of things about deh

can we take a moment please i have things to say:

(some of these are just me so)

1) the way evan moves?? like hes rigid but also not?? like wow relatable

2) evans anxiety is portrayed super accurately?? like i feel his pain in the talking to people and writing letters to yourself and losing your anxiety in love and hope and ahhh

3) the word vomit?? sounds real?? ben lets it spill and it just sounds so good and when a lot of other people do the word vomit it sounds manufactured??? but hes so talented and just

4)evan constantly apologizing like me too babe ily

5) at first i loved connor

6) and 1 minute later i fuckin hated his guts

7) and then in the computer lab i was like “my son?? hes so paranoid?? like chronically?? i hope hes gonna be okay!!” and the show r i p p e d m y h e a r t o u t

8) when evans mom (im blanking on her name) starts yelling at him in act 2 and he just goes blank and shuts his mouth i

9) evan like… compulsively lying about like little things and i love him because i do that!! like when he lies about his dad being lucky to have him and then goes back and is like “actually nvm idk why i said that yikes my dad lives in colorado” im so proud of my son

10) this show hits so close to home in everything it does i was crying within like 5 minutes

11) so many quotable lines ahhhh
-“school shooter chic”
-*monotone* “i know, it was funny cant you see me laughing”

12) THE SONGS JFC THEYRE ALL SO NICE????? LIKE REQUIEM IS GORGEOUS AND SINCERLY, ME IS SO CUTE AND ANYBODY GOT A MAP IS FUNNY BUT YOU WILL BE FOUND IS ONE OF THE BEST PIECES OF MUSIC IVE EVER HEARD

ok but, contrary to popular belief, keith is pobably the boyfriend who brags about lance. 

like lance will definitely go up to strangers while they’re together and be like “do you see my amazing bf?? do you??” Keith is just rolling his eyes and trying so hard not to smile its pathetic tbh (im almost positive someone’s already made a post like this so imma stop the lance train there)

but its more like he gushes in secret

like could you imagine that poor boy absolutely gushing abt lance to shiro or allura (no one can take their possible friendship way from me)

“i mean come on, did you not see the way his hair looked today? do you think he knows how cute he is? i mean he talks a big game but does he really know?”

“idk keith why dont you ask him, he is your boyfriend, you know”

“what? no. he cant know how much i like him. that means hes won. he’ll hold it over my head forever.”

but lance already knows how much keith really loves him but being the better boyfriend that he is, he pretends not to know until keith finally tells him (probably like their wedding day or something bc they’re too stupid smh)

hold on hold on why are the decisions in high school story harder than the sophomore, it’s just no. damn i don’t know what activity to choose idk who to date maria and emma are so fricking gorgeous and i’m so depressed because my bisexual self decided to show and i can’t stop thinking about julian, i have never been into a guy in choices and i can’t even date him hell i cant even flirt with him and he’s depressed bout autumn and that makes me even more depressed this is stress. stress. wth is going on

anonymous asked:

I would like to point out in like 99% of coffee shop AUs Keith is lactose intolerant and???????? Is this just a Generally Accepted Fanon Thing Or Is It Canon?

WHAT really?? omfg am i reading the wrong coffee shop AU fics or am i just not reading enough🤔🤔🤔 fuck or my memory is messing with me because i dont think ive read about keith being lactose intolerant in any of them so far.😑 i know its not canon but i guess its a generally accepted fanon thing for writers LMFAO but u know what keith cant be lactose intolerant u know why?…because he rode kaltenecker that one time in the space mall😩😩😂👀💦🔍