idk why i did this but ok

anonymous asked:

ok I was just like dozing off and I thought of this lolol what if the missus was heavily pregnant and her and harry went out to dinner with some friends and she dozed off in his shoulder idk why that came to my head LOL I wanted to share it with you im so sorry I don't know why I'm typing so much ok I love you so much okokok goodbye ❤️

He’d giggle a bit and nudge you. “Hey, petal, think it’s time we get you home, yeah?”

You’d blink sleepily up at him, a little embarrassed. “Did I fall asleep?”

“You did, yeah. But s'okay. The little sprout in there puts you through a lot. Lets go home and get you in bed.”

realizing you’re on the ace spectrum like

“I’d hit that.” “You… you don’t even know them though??”

“Oh come on, everyone has a list of celebrities they’d totally have sex with if they had a chance.” “Haha yeah ok” *internally* what

"Ya so like for the past few years I’ve felt zero attraction to people I wasn’t friends with first?? Lol what’s up with that”

Why did you have to have sex with them?? Couldn’t you just hold it?? Like pee??

“You’ll meet someone who makes you feel like that someday, don’t worry” “……sounds fake but ok”

“Sex is an important part of a relationship! Everyone has sexual needs!” “….sounds fake but ok”

“Dude that girl is so hot” “I know right?? Look at her fucking eyeliner. Goals. The fuck.” “No I meant like… look at that ass” “Are we looking at the same person are you really focussing on her ass look at how visually appealing her outfit is and dont you dare fuckin tell me that eyeliner isnt fierce as hell

“Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things” *puzzle pieces vERY RAPIDLY FALLING INTO PLACE*

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning* i could die a virgin and i would regret absolutely nothing

“What’s your ideal girl like?” “Uh… my best friend?” “Oh cute, you want your girlfriend to be the one who knows you best!” “No I meant I am literally only attracted to my best friend she is my ideal girl please help I am dying”

“We’ve been dating for six months and we still haven’t had sex!!” “Have you marathoned Star Wars together yet?” “Yeah we did that like two weeks ago” “Well what more do you want

*thinking about an attractive woman* *dissecting my entire personality and sexuality to figure out why I’m attracted to her this time* is it the muscles. Oh my god is this a sex thing. Oh my god what the hell is this. Oh my god what the fuck is the wtf the fuck the fUCK

*Next day* Zarya could punch me in the face while eating me out and I’d let her but only because she’s a fictional character and therefore could literally never do that

*writing fanfic* ONLY CLOSE FRIENDS HAVE SEX BC ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE TO ME

(why is that tho. maybe i should look into that *doesnt look into it*)

“What do you find most attractive in a girl?” “Gotta love those strong emotional bonds” “No I meant like what’s a turn-on for you?” “DID I McFUCKING STUTTER”

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning again* sexual attraction should be added to the cryptid wikia

“Yeah sex sounds like a great stress reliever and a nice way to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner(s)” “Well there’s more to it than that…” *The Arctic Monkey’s Do I Wanna Know starts playing in my head* “Haha ok buddy”

"There’s more to being ace than just not being interested in having sex or not feeling sexual attraction. In fact there’s a whole spectrum. You may even feel sexual attraction sometimes but still be ace. You can also be gay and ace at the same time.” “…bro.” “Also it’s totally normal.” *sobbing* “…bro. Bro there are words for it there’s an entire list oh my god-”

“-finally.”

#thanksgivingwithBTS in a nutshell:

jungkook: can someone pass the salt

jimin: idk can u pass ur classes 

jhope: who the fuck made this stuffing its dry af

suga: not as dry as ur love life

rapmon: this sandwich tastes like shit

v: its got more taste than ur kimdaily outfits 

jungkook: why am i at the kids table

jin: why dont u ask ur nonexistent diploma

jungkook: its ok ill ask ur nonexistent lines

jhope: how the fuck did we forget about the pie

v: same way u forgot ur mixtape drop date

jin: didnt i teach any of u some fucking manners

jungkook: i thought we taught u how to fucking dance but

  • riverdale ep 3: Betty and Veronica... B and V... ~forged forever~
  • riverdale ep 4, 5, 6 & 7: lmao beronica who??

problematic fave yet again

  • Pidge: Ok Keith give us the goss, who was your first crush?
  • Keith: Er...Probably this boy back in flight school. We weren't in the same class so I only saw him once or twice. His name was Taylor or something I don't really remember
  • Hunk: ...
  • Hunk: Hey Lance, did you and Keith go to the same flight school?
  • Lance: idk maybe, why?

1993 - FOREVER

2

cute eyecontact between kiho during ‘honestly’ performance

ok but a plot where muse a is the leader/part of this really dangerous and famous gang and almost everyone knows who muse a is, the horrible things they have done, how skilled they are at whatever weapon they like the most, how they have no mercy and will either kill you in matters of seconds or torture you until you’re begging for death. they’re cold, they’re calculating, rumor has it they lack a heart and soul,, but then, THEN, there’s muse b; pure, innocent, maybe shy and awkward ( or not, up to u?? ) personality is cute as fuck, a marshmallow that needs to be protected, and well, muse a really wants to protect them in the moment their eyes land on muse b, even if they don’t know them at all because ‘dude they look so fucking fragile someone is going to hurt them wtf the fuck’. and one day, after days ( or weeks ) of muse a admiring muse b from afar they decide to approach them someway somehow, and poor muse b is clueless abt who muse a really is at first. this could be so angsty and fluffy and just !!!!! i Want

also! while i am on the topic of skin tone, here are some tones i have color picked off pictures of myself in different lighting from my mom’s facebook (lmao). my birthday is coming up, and several people have messaged me about drawing me, so here is how my skin looks in different lighting! i actually get really dark in summer bc it’s so damn sunny.. i usually draw myself as the middle one.

also please don’t draw me white?? i keep having this problem? i am not white.

That’s It (Kylo Ren x Reader Smut)

Warnings: This is shit, please don’t read. I liked Good Boy better. Semi-violent, dubious consent(??), glove kink. Fucking on top of dead peoples ashes? While grandpa vader watches? Orgasm delay/denial. Other stuff..

Word Count: A lot. 2.7K

A/N: Ok um shit i….  This is a thing i did, idk if anyone’s done this yet.. Why does this shit turn me on??? Why couldn’t I be normal? I’d like to apologize to jesus and my dad. Also, the fucking tub of ashes is in his Vader room bc that makes more sense than a random cell. 

Keep reading

unimportant update i guess?

hey guys! first of all, sorry for these big breaks in between episode, but i just have days where i dont feel like playing at all, so thats why theres no episode.

speaking of that, it might still be some time before the next one, because i just got a game in the mail this morning! so im gonna be spending this entire weekend playing my new danganronpa 1.2 reload game, lets be honest.

anyways i just made this post to scream about that game, ok. it is SO GOOD

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thanks for ur time. 

  • someone: hey cave johnson and wheatley did some bad things maybe we should stop ignoring that
  • the portal fandom: ok but GLaDOS killed people. she fucking KILLED people. no other character in portal has ever killed anybody ever except for GLaDOS. she literally KILLED people. did i mention she killed people? because i bet she's the only person who's ever killed somebody. nobody has murdered somebody ever in the history of the earth except for GLaDOS. did i mention she killed people? she killed lots of people. why point out that cave and wheatley did bad things when we can point that out instead?? checkmate. she killed people btw