Spell me out of this
Hey hello so I’ve been making false starts on this idea for a fic for MONTHS now and I attempted maybe five different versions of it with vastly different storylines, none of which really worked, and in the end I just spent three days on this and meh okay here goes. Simon can’t deal with his feelings for Baz so he uses magic to repress them.
Agatha is upset with me, because I didn’t ask her where she’d been. I think. She’s been gone the entire day, and I just figured she had something she needed to do or she was sick or she needed a day off, and I pushed it out of my mind, and I didn’t say anything. She thinks I don’t care enough about where she is, or what she’s doing. She thinks that if I like her, those are things I should worry about.
Agatha is upset with me, because we’ve barely spent any time together over the last week. She thinks I’m too busy following Baz around to care that I’m never around her. She thinks that as her boyfriend, I should want to spend time around her. But I do want to spend time around her. I just know Baz is up to something.
Penny keeps nagging at me, because she thinks it’s weird that I don’t talk about Agatha much. I don’t think she has a problem with it, but she’s convinced that I don’t like Agatha the way I did in fourth year. In fourth year, I wouldn’t shut up about her. I told her that liking Agatha doesn’t mean I have to think about her all the time.
‘Well, no, but it’s a known symptom,’ Penny said.
Penny says it’s strange that Agatha doesn’t seem to get under my skin. The other day Agatha got frustrated with me for botching up a spell, and Penny said she was surprised when I didn’t seem really worked up about it.
‘That’s because you guys know what my magic is like,’ I said. ‘Agatha’s just frustrated, she’s not judging me.’
Penny says I used to try so hard to impress Agatha, but now she thinks I’m just going through the motions. I told her I’m trying to be a good boyfriend, and she said I’m only doing it because it’s what I’m supposed to do.
‘What are you saying, Penny?’ I finally ask. I know she’s getting at something.
‘I just don’t think you two are that into each other,’ she says. ‘What she said didn’t bother you?’
‘No. Why would I be pissed at her? She wasn’t trying to upset me. Not like when Baz says things like that.’
It does bother me when Baz insults me. (Not to mention the fact that he does it all the time. It’s his favourite hobby.)
‘You barely hang out together anymore.’
‘We do, I’m just busy…’ Following Baz. Trying to figure out what he’s plotting. There have been weeks where I barely let him out of my sight.
‘You never talk about her,’ Penny continues.
‘What do I talk about, then?’
She sighs. ‘You talk about Baz.’
I shrug, because, fine, she’s right. I probably do talk about Baz too much. I probably do think about Baz too much. A lot more than I think about Agatha.
‘Where is Baz?’ I say. ‘What’s he up to? I need to know where he is.’ I need to see him. I need to be around him.
I look at Penny. Penny stares back.
‘You have to help me.’