idk who else is in this whatever

hi so u know i said i was gonna tell u more about my helljob right–?

scratch that; it doesn’t matter now – i just came home to my sister crying because she got kicked out of the Ticket Sale Website because she put in the wrong login info (AXX or whatever, i dont know anyhting about how these ticket websites work – also the girl is a nervous wreck;; she did have a pre-sale code that a friend gave her but the website booted her out for some glitchy reason) and the VVIP ticket was almost within her reach ((she’s been saving up for a Seventeen Concert since last year)) and idk mmm I really want her to be able to go to their concert with a VVIP ticket (She likes the Woozi guy) – afaik it’s sold out now from the official site so the only chance is if someone else sells their ticket or something

She tells me she’s willing to pay double or more for the ticket if there’s anyone who is willing to sell us one VVIP ticket ((i can pay more in addition as well – as bad as it looks i do have savings ^o^ – even do commissions or whatever it takes – and you’ll have my undying loyalty and gratitude)) for Seventeen’s NY concert :0

The concert is around her birthday next month and I would really love for her to go and see them ((my birthday is this month but all I want is for my sister to achieve this dream of hers)) So uhh, yeah this is a very long shot but if you know anyone who is selling a Seventeen VVIP ticket please let me know ((to recap, yes we’re willing to buy – we have the money (to some degree – we don’t have the thousand+ for it im so sorry) and we’re not asking to get it for free ;;0;; asjkdhasjd)) Thank you!!!

EDIT: she got one!! somebody sold her a vvip ticket at almost double the price but it was worth it AAA i’m so happy for her (she checked it was legit)!! ^o^ Thanks to everyone who read/liked/reblogged and also offered their help ^__^ we appreciate it so much <3

3

DAN WILDS, PSU Foxes Exy Captain

“don’t thank us, remember us,“ dan said. “we’re your teammates. we’re here to help you with whatever you need, whether it’s this or games or general stress. we’ve all got different experiences, but we’re used to needing help. we’re just not used to getting it. but you’ve got us now.”

this fandom has so much beautiful artwork dedicated to it, with amazing, talented artists producing masterpieces daily…

meanwhile, i made this

anonymous asked:

i see a lot of people saying joaquim and lauren saying theyre fighting for lgbt rep means theyre fighting for it in the show, but couldn't it also mean they have awesome examples in the show, and that means they're doing their part in fighting on behalf of the lgbt people by giving us such good rep? or maybe its the other option and were screwed

alright, i watched the panel (or, well, i watched the part where they got asked the question about this bc i don’t have the time or the patience to watch the whole thing rn) and here’s the link to it, the question gets asked around the 32:47 mark. here’s the transcript (with a few things added by me that i picked up on) 

Fan Question: I know you can’t go into any specifics, or name any characters, but I was wondering if we will be seeing any LGBT representation in the Voltron universe before the show ends?

[they pause for awhile and i think that’s because they’re thinking about how to answer. to me, it looks like they’re—specifically lauren—trying to figure out how to answer this because it’s an obvious SPOILER TERRITORY question… they can’t say too much and they can’t say too little. they don’t want to say no comment or anything like that because, at this point, that’d be a clear indicator that we’re getting LGBT rep. some of y’all really need to realize this stuff before asking spoiler territory questions tbh? whether we like it or not, that would be a big spoiler, especially to them… because they want to tell their story, they don’t want to give it away.]

Joaquim: Lauren?

Kimberly: Ah, that’s such a good question.

Joaquim: That’s a really good question.

Kimberly: How can we… [she doesn’t continue but i think she was going to say something like “how can we answer this?” because like i said, it’s spoiler territory. idk what else she would have said other than that?]

Lauren: I think—You know, I think it’s something that is super important to us.

Joaquim: It’s very important to us. Um, you know, obviously I think what’s great about our community is that, you can pretty much tell whatever story you want to tell and put whatever you want to see into these characters. And just know that, from our perspective, we’re fighting to create as open and as broad a spectrum of characters as we can. So, um, yea. We—

Lauren: We can’t give you any definite answers, but we are super—

Joaquim: We are advocates, and we are fighting for as open and as broad a spectrum of characters as we can create.

alright. i don’t see why the shit people are flipping ass abt this? this was great? this was really great? so, my thoughts: FIRST, try to put yourself in lauren and joaquim’s shoes in this moment. please realize that if they outright said YES or anything, all of us in the fandom would know who they mean: lance, for sure, and like i said in this post (which i think u should read if u haven’t already, along with the post i link in it discussing when lauren said “herself” when talking abt lance’s love interest), he’s going to end up with someone and the only two people it could possibly/reasonably be at this point are allura and keith. i used the process of elimination by taking all the info i know to logically figure out who lance could end up with, and it’s not allura. here’s an excerpt from the post:

if lance ended up with allura, it would not be “a place different than where he started in the series,” because that’s deadass what he wanted at the beginning, it’s exactly what he wanted… they said a good relationship for lance would be what he NEEDED, not what he thought he WANTED.

so, if they HAD said “ah yes, there’s going to be LGBT rep”, anyone who sits down and thinks logically about everything would fucking know that it’s going to be lance who is LGBT, definitely… because lauren DREW HIM HOLDING AN LGBT SIGN WHILE KEITH HELD THE RACE SIGN AND PIDGE HELD THE GENDER SIGN (i.e., signs that have something to do with their character and their storylines), and in turn, this would also spoil klance… because like my post concluded, keith is the only person who fits being lance’s love interest to a T.

they watch what they say, they deal with questions they can’t answer all the time. they work in media and they’re good at hiding things and not spoiling things unless they want to. this + a bunch of other shit that’s been said/is in the show, heavily supports LGBT content in VLD. also, since this bothers me: even if we somehow don’t get klance (i’m still 14857345% sure on it btw, not doubting here), LGBT characters can still exist. they don’t need to be with someone to be LGBT. it’s fucking annoying when people in the fandom act like someone needs to be paired up with someone else in order to be LGBT. obviously, i think klance is going to happen because lance IS going to end up with someone and keith is the only one who fits.

as for this: “Um, you know, obviously I think what’s great about our community is that, you can pretty much tell whatever story you want to tell and put whatever you want to see into these characters. And just know that, from our perspective, we’re fighting to create as open and as broad a spectrum of characters as we can.” idk why everyone is jumping to the conclusion that they MUST be fighting with dreamworks for the opportunity to include LGBT content because:

1) jeremy shada said “i can’t say but don’t worry, you’ll be happy” about LGBT rep in VLD. he wouldn’t have said that if they were fighting for the chance to include rep. they wouldn’t have let him say that. and by saying that, he obviously already knows there’s LGBT rep + tim hedrick, writer on VLD, said “no comment” when asked about LGBT content in VLD. as i said, saying “no comment” is a clear indicator that there’s going to be because it’s what people say when they don’t want to spoil things, even though that alone just spoils things. tim worked on TLOK, he wouldn’t be saying no comment if we weren’t getting rep, because he knows that that comment alone, is going to get people’s hopes up. i’m pretty sure he’s also the one that said asami is korra’s heart. he’s not gonna fuck with us, they all know a lot of VLD fans came from TLOK and a lot of them are LGBT. lauren has also said they are not baiting. this story has been in the works before the first season even aired, they are way ahead of us with where they’re at.

2) the bi flag colors AND the gay flag colors are used in s1ep6 and s3ep3, which are both klance heavy episodes. that’s not a coincidence. it’s not reaching. color symbolism IS a thing in all types of media, including animation, evidenced by the fact that the bi flag colors were in the finale of TLOK… which just so happens to have been animated by the same studio animating VLD, studio mir. lauren and joaquim work WITH them on this stuff, they don’t just put it in for shits and giggles jfc. same goes for all the fond looks between keith and lance. lauren herself literally said expressions are important.

3) it’s very possible that they worded it this way to intentionally throw us off or smth because they’ve definitely done it with other stuff. they could be making it seem like they’re fighting for the chance to include LGBT characters because they don’t want to give away that there already ARE LGBT characters. i know, it sucks that this stuff is treated as a spoiler, but if it’s going to play such a huge part in the storyline of a character… it IS a spoiler for the show. lance’s sexuality is going to be a big part of his storyline, this is supported by the fact that pidge’s sign and keith’s sign both played a big role in their storylines, and it’s supported by other stuff i’ve discussed before. as i said, confirming that there’s LGBT rep would also spoil the endgame couple. they just want to let their story unfold without giving away big parts of it. “fighting” could also have nothing to do with literally fighting dreamworks to include rep in the first place but rather, like this anon said, it could mean they have LGBT characters/content in the show, which means they’re doing their part in fighting on behalf of the LGBT community by giving us such good rep. joaquim said, “i think what’s great about our community is that you can pretty much tell whatever story you want to tell and put whatever you want to see into these characters.” this doesn’t make it seem like they’re in a war with dreamworks or anyone over including LGBT content. we know netflix is fine with it, so we don’t have to worry about that, and we have this:

this also doesn’t make it seem like including LGBT content will be denied by dreamworks, it seems more like they already know they can include it.

the way they answered this question honestly just came across—to me—as them trying not to spoil anything that’s to come in regards to LGBT rep. they were vague and cryptic yet again. lauren also says they can’t give “definite answers”. they can’t give answers that aren’t vague or unambiguous about this stuff because. they. don’t. want. to. spoil. anything. that’s just my two cents.

i’ve already seen a few people already criticise junhong for his tattoo or disregard it as ‘yongguk’s influence,’ and it’s been pretty upsetting to see how some are treating him. none of us know the significance of ‘relation in time’ to junhong. he is someone who truly lives for art, and the piece is obviously really meaningful to him - why else would he get it permanently on his skin? if you don’t agree with his tattoo, keep it to yourself. his body is his own, and he can do whatever he wants with it without approval from others.

please don’t ever laugh at someone at the gym who’s lifting very little amounts of weight, or running only a little bit on the treadmill. don’t make fun of someone for putting a machine at the lowest weight or only bench pressing the bar (it’s already 45 lbs on its own). don’t laugh at the people who are just starting out or who physically can’t do too much weights or running or pull ups or squats or whatever. Everyone has to start somewhere

ok, WILD THEORY

i’m not sure about this, but 

could it maybe perhaps be kind of possible that Elias was gay?

i mean think about it: we’ve all gathered so far that there is something going on with him, because we saw that last friday he got so drunk that he couldn’t even walk straight (no pun intended) and then was very moody when he got back home and argued with his mom. 

and then when Sana invited him to the syng party he asked if her friends would be there. BUT he refered to them as “the ones from the apartment” and we all assumed that he was talking about Noora but WHAT IF HE WASN’T? because guess who else lives in that apartment? FREAKING ESKILD. And i mean, if he was talking about noora, why wouldn’t he say “the one from that party” or “the blonde one” or “the one with the blue eyes”or idk, whatever thing that specified he was talking about Noora?

AND THEN, we have Eskild talking about Elias and saying that he looked “open for fun” what was that about? and we all know that so far Eskild’s gaydar has been right with isak and even (the thing about how you could tell a guy was gay if he started  talking to a stranger about sucking dick). 

sooooooooo, it could be posible. right? i don’t know maybe i’m just going crazy… or am i?

harry potter as explained by my roommate who hasn’t read the books since he was a child

philosopher’s stone: “it’s the book with the giant chess game which is basically the highlight of the whole book. and a baby dragon i think. they should have kept the dragon and used it to fight voldemort.”

chamber of secrets: “oh my god, i hate that book. it stresses me out sooo much. why didn’t they just wait for an adult, or do literally anything else other than drive that car. and then the car crashes into the tree?? oh my god, i can’t handle it.”

prisoner of askaban: “i read that one first because it had a cool bird creature thing on the cover. i was very confused. but i went back and read the other ones.” 

goblet of fire: “that’s the one where voldemort comes back, right?” 

order of the phoenix: “harry’s like, voldemort’s back, and everyone is like, nah. and then sirius dies. and then voldemort shows up, and harry’s like, told you so.” 

half blood prince: “uhhh…horcruxes? yeah, and then dumbledore is sick, and there’s that terrifying scene where he’s like ‘feed me potion harry’ and harry is like ‘i don’t wanna” and then aren’t there fucking corpses coming out of the water, and then the horcrux wasn’t even there?? and dumbledore dies. snape killed him, i think. why is that book called half-blood prince? why was that even relevant?” 

deathly hallows: “really long camping trip, and they are looking for a horcrux or something? and when they find it it shows ron harry and hermione making out. i don’t know why they had to be naked in that scene. was there a reason they were naked? and then they go to hogwarts and harry’s like, ‘i don’t know why i suddenly know this, but i’m a horcrux, time to die.’ and then…oh, deathly hallows, those are a thing. he has that stone. is it the philosopher’s stone? what’s it called? the resurrection stone? that’s dumb, it doesn’t even actually resurrect anyone. semantics i guess, whatever, he’s in the forest, or is he at the castle, idk, who cares. and then he dies, but not really, and that lady goes up to him and is like, ‘u dead?’ and he’s like ‘nah, shh’ and no one else thinks to check his pulse or anything. and then he is not actually dead, and he kills voldemort with that wand. and like, everyone dies in that book. and then the epilogue happens, and harry names his kid the worst name that has ever happened in literary history. the end.”

anonymous asked:

Red, some people are shitting on white hired and albino Lavellans and basically invalidating them and saying how they're boring and shouldn't exist in Thedas because they wouldn't survive? and you have such an amazing, wonderful Lavellan, and mine has blond hair and I don't know, it kinda hurts? what do you think about it?

Dude… look this has been happening for ages now, I said long ago that the reason why I hadn’t introduced my Lavellan to anyone earlier was the animosity I’d seen in the fandom towards Lavellans who look a certain way.

I don’t get involved in it. I think one should allow others to enjoy things, and that everyone should respect other people’s characters who are clearly dear to them, without judging. I personally believe every Lavellan is just as beautiful and valid, I welcome and love them all. Period. You won’t see me comment on how boring (or anything else) some Lavellans are based on their looks or whatever, I don’t know what to tell you. Someone’s look are not their personality either, anyways…

Try to stay away from negativity if it hurts you, nonnie. 

-Red

anonymous asked:

hey TJ, you're a pretty stylish guy, right? do you have any advice on how I can develop a sense of style? for most of my life I've been choosing clothes based on what's easy & seems the least likely to attract attention to myself. I want to start being more adventurous but at this point my wardrobe consists entirely of beige khakis and generic t-shirts and idk where to even begin

yo! 

soo I’m definitely not a fashion guru so it’ll be hard for me to advise for someone else, but I’ll try anyways! 

So I didn’t always wear pastel windbreakers and cheek glitter (who knew). Through middle and highschool I was in the same boat; I wore nothing but hand-me-downs and whatever my mom got at the thrift store lmao. Anything easy and inconspicuous. I only really found my style after I left highschool and was willing to experiment now that no one could judge me and no one could stop me. So I started growing out my hair and buying my own clothes with my own money in an effort to find myself and reach a please where I was happy with my appearance. 

My first tip I guess would be find out what you like. What kind of colors do you like? What compliments your skin complexion as well as your personality? The way I dress kind of ties in with my art; stuff that’s bright and colorful and unusual, setting out to destroy the generic and mundane. 

Start searching around. Look at fashion blogs here on tumblr, look on instagram, start keeping a folder/tag for Look Inspiration™. Don’t directly mimic someone, but do what all good artists do a sample bits and pieces here and there to compose a look that’s truly you. woah that sounded dramatic. 

Browse! I try to shop at smaller unknown places to try to find something really unique. Hit up them thrift shops and clothes exchange stores so you can get that good good on the cheap cheap. If you see something you like, try it on, no matter what it is! And also look out for obscure online stores. My friend claire always sends me links to these random kawaii clothes shops, so be on the lookout for aesthetics you like, be it kawaii, vaporwave, seapunk, dad core,etc

And last tip, fuck what anyone thinks. fuck only shopping in the mens or womens section, if you see something cute and you like it, grab it. 

hope this helps, pop you some tags anon! 

guess whos back on their bulshit (its me)

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 306

GUYS THEY’RE FINALLY BACK TOGETHER AND THE WHOLE POINT OF WATCHING THIS DAMN SHOW IS ACTUALLY ON MY TV AGAIN!

Like I feel like I’ve been waiting for this episode since the end of season one. I didn’t get sucked into the show because of the adventures du jour. I got sucked in because of the relationship between Jamie and Claire. Their intimacy. The intimacy they had even before the wedding. Yes, shenanigans need to happen around them or it’d just be a bunch of fluff, but watching how they go through the shenanigans *together* was kind of the whole point for me.

And the beginning of this season was obviously supposed to make the reunion feel earned, but with the lack of story on Claire’s side, it really kind of felt like a chore to slog through it at times.

But! This episode really was a great reminder of why I’ve stuck with the show with one glaring exception which I’m still salty about but not at all surprised by, and I *really* hope that they’re not going to treat it as a one and done.

Like in season one no matter what else was going on in the episodes, time was spent on building Jamie and Claire’s relationship before they got together and then time was spent figuring out what kind of couple they were going to be. *pretends the search doesn’t exist* Season two started with them dealing with Jamie’s rape, which it should have, but then when they came back together it was for like *a minute* before they basically then just started fighting over “saving” Frank. And then they lost Faith but the show skipped over them coming back together after that. Like suddenly they were just all ok and happy again, but literally for only one scene before going off to war. The investment in their relationship was put on the back burner and I think the show suffered because of it.

So now they’re *finally* back together and I *really* hope that this episode is just the jumping off point for showing them rebuilding their life together. Yes, I’m very much aware that they can’t spend every episode in a room together in various stages of undress. I’m not asking for that. I’m just hoping that the show goes back to the way they did things in season one. Where yes, stuff is happening and shenanigans ensue, but their relationship is still regularly given the attention it needs.

Anywho, that got longer than I meant it to… Sorry… Rambling nonsense and pterodactyl screeches are under the cut.

Keep reading

for all the people who are like “yeah but why would zoe like evan back? it seems so forced.”

-zoe is in a severely compromised situation rn and is dealing w/ a lot of shit about not “mourning in the right way” and is looking for someone that isn’t her parents and isn’t the people at school who pity her to just kinda be there.

-evan is a nice kid. he’s probably a direct contrast to her brother and everyone else around her, because he’s awkward and pretty forward and seemingly isn’t consumed by connor’s death

-also evan puts zoe on a pedestal, he has a whole song telling her how wonderful she is. i mean, that can be really nice sometimes

-zoe is very very very very very intelligent and strong, she doesn’t want pity and she doesn’t want someone else to be in control. she wants to be in control over something, anything in her life which seems so panicked and haphazard rn, and maybe malleable evan, who seems willing to go along with whatever she wants, is that something

-zoe is literally 16? 17? years old, i’ve seen 16-year-olds get together and break up w/ someone they don’t even sorta know in the span of 2 days, so their relationship being kinda flimsy is actually more realistic

-and, like, have you seen ben platt (aka evan hansen)?????

^idk about you but i think ya boy is v attractive/cute, so maybe like it was all just superficial (also the show is definitely commentary about the superficial nature of social media, as evan’s “love” of her despite only really knowing her through instagram (in the beginning) is actually quite a main statement) 

-(also evan has a nice personality, too, i firmly believe, so)

-it was a while between the 1st act (the kiss) and the 2nd act (dating), and we don’t know what happened in the time between, and we can’t judge the circumstances and intricacies of their relationship with so little information

-also they don’t end up together, so maybe there’s a reason their relationship wasn’t built solidly, but rather as a more sudden thing, to emphasize why it all fell apart

Listen carefully to the echoes

When Celine and Damien are talking to you in whatever that void is certain words echo much more than others. They sound different to how they were first spoken too. Like someone else is speaking them? But in the same voice?


I think it’s the Darkness manipulating you.


“He took everything from us”

“No way out”

“Quest of vengeance”

“Still out there”

“Send you back”

“You can’t survive on your own”

“You’re dead”

“Dangerous now”


Seriously there’s some very deliberate voice echoing there, with the same lines done in differnt ways. I think I hear at least 3 distinct voices for Celine and maybe the same for Damien?


Listen.

anonymous asked:

Jealous Josh???? I mean guuurl there is no one on this planet who could write a better imagine so please please please write a jealous Josh imagine? Something like you go clubbing and you meet your old friend but he doesn't know you're taken so he's all flirty and stuff and then Josh notices and is all jealous and it ends fluffy like you reassure him you love him and stuff??? (Don't have to be like this it's just an idea you can write it as you like and as you're comfortable with) thanks ily!!!!

Thanks for your request and all the kind words!! 

JOSH DUN IMAGINE 

“Babe, can you tie this?” you ask, your hands were holding up the thin piece of fabric on the back of your shirt.  You’d been fiddling with it for a bit now, but sighed in defeat.  Luckily Josh was just emerging from the shower, the steam rolling out of the door as soon as it opened.  He had a towel wrapped around his waist, you subtly gawked at his v-line and dripping wet body.  

“Sure,” he said before knotting the towel and making his way over towards you.  He took the fabric and you let your hands fall.

“Thanks,” you smile, giving him a peck on the cheek before going into the bathroom.  The mirror was all fogged up, you wiped it down before starting your makeup.

“Tyler’s picking us up in ten minutes,” Josh said as he grabbed some floss from the shelf, “will you be ready in time?”

You nod, leaning over the sink obnoxiously to apply your mascara, “Yeah, I’m good.”

“You look beautiful,” Josh murmured, pulling you into his bare chest and planting his lips on yours.  

You smile against the kiss, “Mm, and you look very handsome.  Is this how you’re going?” You ask, indicating towards his naked torso.  

Josh smiled wide, “I call this the ‘I-hate-laundry-so-I-won’t-wear-clothes’ look, you like?”

You laughed, pressing your hands against his pecks, “I do, unfortunately, I think a lot of other girls will too,” you chuckle softly, “that I don’t like so much.”

“Aw, babe,” Josh fake pouted, wrapping you up in his arms and giving the top of your head a kiss, “you know you’re my one and only.”

Just then a car honked outside and you smirked at Josh.  “Now who’s not ready?”

He pulled away from you sticking out his tongue like a three-year-old and rushing into the bedroom to pull a shirt on.  Then, together, you walk out to Tyler and Jenna’s car, ready for a fun night together.  

The club was a little crowded.  Nothing like what it can be like though.  You’ve been to this same bar before, many times in fact, and it’s so packed you could barely move.  Tonight, there were just the right amount of people.  Enough where you could dance freely without anyone really noticing.  But not so much where you couldn’t escape the dance floor if you needed to.  

You and Jenna walk in, arm and arm, chatting about each of your days events.  Tyler and Josh lingered behind talking about god-only-knows what.  You started off small, sipping on this fruity drink Josh had gotten you and scoping everyone out with him.  Jenna and Tyler went straight for the dance floor, something you couldn’t help but chuckle at.  Tyler busted out some pretty intense moves for someone who was always sober.  

“I’d need at least three shots to do that,” you say.  Tyler had his elbow cocked and his legs doing some strange jig.  It had Jenna laughing though, probably his ultimate goal.  

Josh laughed.  He had one arm slung casually around you, the other holding a cup of beer.  Eventually the two of you joined in on the dancing.  You were a horrible dancer, so you mostly just jumped and swayed your hips.  You really didn’t care as long as you didn’t spill your drink.  

After a few songs you lost track of Jenna and Tyler, you stood on your tip-toes trying to scan the crowd.  It was Josh that eventually scoped them out in the corner.  Jenna was seated, her head in her lap, Tyler was kneeling in front of her, one hand on her knee.  

The two of you made your way over, Josh’s hand hovered on your lower back until you broke through the crowd.  

“Everything okay?” You ask, slightly concerned.  

“She’s getting one of her migraines,” Tyler said.  

“Is her medication in the car?”

Tyler nods, looking back at you with pierced lips.  

“You stay with her,” you say, “I’ll go grab it.”

“I’ll grab her some water,” Josh suggests.

Tyler mouths a ‘thanks’ to the both of you and hands over his car keys.  You start making your way to the exit.

The cool air feels nice on your hot skin.  You almost wished Tyler would have parked further away so you could have enjoyed it longer, but in no time, you have Jenna’s medication in hand and you’re reentering the bar.  As you open the door, it slams into something solid and you cringe when you see that it’s a person you’ve so graciously hit.  

“Oh my god-“ you gasp, your free hand flying up to cover your mouth, “I am so sorry!”

The man turns and you’re even more surprised to see it was your prom date from senior year.  

“Holy shit!” he exclaims, all concerns for being hit by a door forgotten.  “Y/N! I can’t believe it, what the hell are you doing here!”

“Wow, hi!” You say, still shocked, “I live like five minutes down the road, I’m here like, all the time.”

“No shit, I just moved here a bit ago, trying to meet some new people, try new things and all that,” he chuckles.  “Hey, you look amazing,” he says.

“Thanks, you look great too.  Can’t believe it’s been, what? Seven years?”

“It’s crazy.”

The two of you spark up conversation like it’s nothing, like seven years haven’t passed, like you’d never been apart.  You forget all about Jenna’s medication still clutched in your hand.

JOSH’S POV

“Dude, where’s Y/N?” Tyler asks.

“I don’t know, how long’s it been?”

“Long enough, I didn’t park that far.  You should go check on her.”

I stood up from the chair, giving Jenna an encouraging pat on the back before walking away.  I really did feel awful for her.  I’d had migraines in the past.  Nothing to mess around with.  

I make my way to the door when the image in front of me stops me dead in my tracks.  Y/N definitely wasn’t lost, unless it was in this dude’s piercing blue eyes.  It feels like my stomach dropped to the floor.  What the fuck?  

I pride myself on being laid back. I’m easy-going, reasonable.  But watching Y/N look at someone like that, that wasn’t me, that didn’t settle well.  I stayed back, too stunned to move. Y/N was hunched over, laughing at something this guy said.  My jaw clenched when she touched his arm delicately.  This was definitely flirting and I could feel the anger boiling up inside of me.  But as angry as I was, it didn’t compare to the dread building up in my stomach.  I was always so scared of losing Y/N.  My anxiety always found it’s way back in my head, saying things like ‘you’ll never be good enough’ and ‘eventually, she’ll find someone better’.  I was afraid that maybe she finally did.  My instincts told me to walk away, but instead, I started walking closer, my fists clenched at my side, my heart beating in my chest.  Their conversation started to become clearer.

“I think we ought to dance a few songs, see if you still got those moves,” he says.  “Come on, let me buy you a drink first—“

“Oh, there you are babe,” I say, pretending I didn’t just hear his invitation, “we were worried you got lost.”  I walked casually between Y/N and the guy and wrapped my arms around her waist, planting a kiss on her lips.  I faced the guy after I pulled away, staring him straight in the eye.  Not bothering to ask who he was or why he was hitting on my girlfriend.  I was pleased to see how startled he looked, though.

“Um, Josh this is (idk, your prom date’s name lol),” she says.  

(Whatever his name is) holds his hand out towards me.  I make an exaggerated effort to look at his open hand, but keep mine planted firmly in my pocket.  I hated this whole asshole regime.  But I didn’t know how else to show her I cared that she was flirting with someone else.  

“Uh, nice to meet you,” the guy said warily.  

I stare at him intently, realizing what a douche I’m being but too angry and hurt to act differently.

I almost sighed in relief to see Tyler practically dragging Jenna towards the exit.  She looked awful, but I knew that it was our cue to leave.  

“Hey guys,” Tyler said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I really gotta get her home.”

I nod, and before Y/N can say anything else to the guy, we turn and walk out the door.  

The ride home is horrible.  Y/N is so mad.  I can already tell.  She’s got her body positioned as far away from me as she possibly can and stares out the window the entire time.  My chest feels hallow and the voice in my head keeps repeating the same three words over and over again; she’s gonna leave. She’s gonna leave.  She’s gonna leave.  

YOUR POV

“What kind of archaic shit was that?!” You bellowed as soon as Josh closed the door to the apartment.  You turn towards him, your fists clenched.  

His eyes widen and he steps back.  

“Seriously?” You yell, “What the fuck was that?”

Josh rolls his eyes, his hands dig in his pocket until he finds his wallet.  He pulls it out and tosses it on the counter.  

“Whatever,” he mutters, about to walk away.

“Oh no,” you say, the anger boiling up inside of you.  You grab his arm and spin him towards you.  “No fucking way are you walking away right now.”

You stare so intently at him, determined to get a response out of him.  But he won’t even look at you.  His eyes trace the ceiling, the floor, the wall behind you.  Anywhere but you.

You begin to realize you’re not getting anything out of him, so you continue, “Do you have any idea how fucking rude you were?  Acting like a thirteen year old angsty teenager.  You embarrassed me!”

Josh stared at the floor.  His hands were buried in his pockets again.  Your nose twitched.  You wanted to make him as angry as he was making you.

“In front of such a nice guy.  (whatever his name is) and I were having a really good conversation and you just jumped in and acted like some uncivilized, caveman.  I was having so much fun too and—“ you pause.  You were almost out of breath from yelling so much.  “Why aren’t you saying anything?” You plead, voice softening.  

Your change in tone makes Josh look up, finally making eye contact with you.

“Why don’t you just go back then?” he asks casually.

Your face contorts into a puzzled look.  “What?”

“To the bar.  Why don’t you just head back, I’m sure he’s still there.”

He isn’t mocking.  He isn’t being sarcastic.  He’s genuinely suggesting that you go back to the bar without him.  

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because you were having such a good time,” he says, like it’s obvious.  

Your face softens.  You’re finding it very hard to stay so mad when Josh is just standing there looking so defeated and drained.  

“It’d be no fun without you,” you say.

Josh immediately scoffs and you can tell that he truly doesn’t believe what you’re saying.

“Josh,” you start, “why did you get so jealous? Honestly?”

His eyes drop again and he brings his hand up to scratch the back of his neck.  

“I’m an idiot, I don’t know, I’m sorry-“

“No,” you cut him off, “Why did you get so jealous?”

He looks up at you and keeps eye contact.  His eyes are hallow, sad even.  You can tell he’s having a hard time finding words, but finally he speaks, “I don’t know, I just—“ he pauses again, gathering his thoughts, “I just, sometimes I have these thoughts.  These thoughts that I’m not good enough for you.  And I know you’re going to say that’s irrational and stupid or whatever, but I can’t convince myself that it is.  I try to.  I really do, but I can’t.  I still think it.  I still fight it.  And tonight, I just got so scared that it was happening.. That you were gonna find someone better, and I just-“ he pauses, “I just freaked out.  I’m sorry.”

You frowned, your whole insides aching with the thought of Josh struggling with such demonizing thoughts.  You took a step forward, wanting to convince him that he was wrong, but remembering what he said.  That whatever you said didn’t matter.  That he couldn’t stop believing it.  A tear rolled down your cheek and you continued moving closer across the room until you were only inches away from him.  He looked down at you, exhausted and looking so defeated.  

“I love you,” you whispered, taking his hands in yours.  “I love you,” you said, emphasizing the last word, “so much.  And I’m sorry.  That guy was just some stupid guy from high school.  We were just catching up, I promise.  I’m sorry I made you jealous, I’m sorry I made you feel not good enough, and I know you said I can’t convince you that you are good enough, but I’m going to try.”

Josh squeezed his eyes shut, looking like he was trying hard not to cry.  You delicately moved your body closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso and letting your head rest against his chest.  You stayed there, finally feeling his arms around you, his hands running up and down your back.  You’d always stay here, because this was home. 

“Besides,” you say, pulling back and giving Josh a slight smile, “I could never go for a guy like that, you’re my one and only.”