idk where the sudden motivation to do this is coming from but well

Beetlejuice (Connor Murphy x reader fic part 1 of 2)


Guys. It is like crazy long. And only part one. I’m going to post part two in a few days but I split them up because i’m still working on an ending. I honestly have no clue if anyone will wanna read this because it’s so fucking long. But this is like a Connor Ghost fic where you move into his house after his family moves out to get over Connor’s death and he haunts you but you guys become friends and idk this idea was so good in my head idk it I did it justice but maybe someone will enjoy. Part two will not be long because 1.) lack of motivation 2.) lack of ideas 3.) I’m making you guys read all this I won’t continue to waste more of your time. also this was so hard to edit so i’m sure there are one thousand mistakes im sosososos sorry.

TW: suicide, self harm, bullying, anxiety, depression, swearing, angst, fuck it’s sort of sad idk i feel for ghost connor

12,085 words yikes

You jolted up, your sleep disturbed by loud (and quite rude) banging at your bedroom door. You shot up quickly, trying to figure out what the hell was happening at…

You checked your phone which was shoved under your pillow, the illumination making you flinch from your unadjusted eyes.

It was 12:00.

The knocking ceased momentarily, which made you think you were hearing things due to exhaustion. Plus, there was no way it was your parents, seeing as they were the oldest middle aged people you knew, hitting the pillow before 9:30. You relaxed, regretting it seconds later when the knocking came back.

You brought your legs close to your chest, covering your mouth so whoever was there couldn’t hear your breathing. You decided to quickly get up, drawing the cover off your bare legs and moving nimbly to your empty closet, trying to avoid the maze of boxes that crowded your room. You’d just moved in, it was literally your first night at the house and probably the last day of existence. You thought this was a good neighborhood, and your parents had an alarm system. Surely your dad would come running to save you or maybe they’re calling the people. Or maybe the imagined murderer already killed them, coming for you to finish the job. You could feel the tears well up in your eyes as you closed the walk in closet door as quickly as you could. Fuck. Is this the part you were supposed to pray for forgiveness? Fuck. You had leftovers in the fridge from tonight that you were really looking forward to eat for lunch tomorrow. Then you thought how pathetic that was, having that be your last breathing thought of your fleeting life. Your door swung open, not hearing any footsteps but a sudden pounding on your closet door. You were shaking, hands covering your mouth, resulting in tears to flow.

“Zoe! I know you were in my room. I can’t get in. You fucking locked it you bitch. I’m going to fucking kill you with the key when I find it. Stop messing with my head, I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me.” The voice screamed out desperately, followed by angry sobs. Your tears ceased however. Zoe? What the hell? What’s happening? The closet door swung open, but no one was even there. All was quiet, you were so shaken up you couldn’t move for five whole minutes. It was like you were frozen. You were tired. Maybe, that was some sort of nightmare of sleep paralysis. Because where the hell did the voice come from. How the hell did your door fly all the way open without a single person in sight. You were hallucinating. That had to be it. From lack of sleep or from that weird black mold that grows in the walls you heard about in that short weird documentary on YouTube. That’s the only plausible thing. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to blink away to exhaustion. You finally exited out of the tiny space, going to reach for the closet door knob to cease it shut. Before your hand even got near it, it slammed closed, causing you to open your eyes swiftly.

“What the hell is your problem, Zo-” A boy stood before you, looking half dead. Not even half, but fully dead. His eyes were bloodshot, he looked like he had bags under his eyes, and even in the dark, you could see a large circular purple mark all the way around his neck.

You fucking started screaming.

“Shit!” he cupped his hands over your mouth, the temperature of Antarctica hovering over your lips. “I didn’t realize Zoe had friends over. Shut up you’re going to wake up my parents.” This is when you started crying. Not only did he murderer sneak into your home, he was a complete lunatic. His parents? Zoe? He was fucking nuts and he was definitely going to kill you. You went to shove him away, but your hands went through, like he was mist. Now, you started to ball. You were the crazy one. You convinced yourself you developed schizophrenia overnight and were losing it, or it was definitely the black mold. He looked as scared as you did, backing away. He touched his stomach, which his hands didn’t go through at all. His face was unreadable, then he was unreadable, vanishing into thin air.

You didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

The next day you walked around void, scared to go even take a nap. You convinced yourself it was just a nightmare. A nightmare you don’t remember falling asleep to or waking up from but that’s what you decided. You needed to tell yourself it was fine. You also googled that hallucinating black mold, and that really only grows in really old houses, so you eliminated that. It was fine. Everything was fine. Your parents commented on how tired you looked. Brushing it off, you just told them how excited you were about the new house, and you couldn’t sleep. A lie, but since you were lying to yourself why not make some more up. Night quickly approached as you tried to fix up your room, figuring where your desk and bookshelves should go. Plus, nothing else really weird happened. You stayed up, busying yourself by decorating. When the banging started again. It was midnight



So, reality was hitting you. Were you crazy? Was this house fucking haunted. You never really believed in ghosts, but that wasn’t to say it didn’t scare the crap out of you. The door slammed open about, without a person there. You froze in place again, waiting for it to just appear again. It went straight to the closet again, banging loudly.

“Why are you doing this?” Similar words whimpering out of his mouth. You think about running into your parent’s room, like how you did when you were 5. But you were just stuck. The hallucination, or ghost, or whatever, had their back toward you. It was definitely a guy, his voice low and sort of nasally. He had shoulder length hair, you couldn’t tell if it was black or brown, and he was wearing a hoodie and jeans. He disappeared and the closet door slammed open, as it did the other night. Connor reappeared right in front of you, your eyes wide and just in utter shock.

He hissed: “Who the hell are you?” His eyes were a very dull blue with what seemed to be brown spot that now seemed more gray than anything. They were lifeless. Below was a nose that had a few bumps down the slope, and a wide mouth with a soft, but prominent cupid’s bow. His neck was even more visible than the night before, making your skin crawl as you peered at the purple mark that was the entire circumference of his neck. You subconsciously dug your nails into your palms, feeling pain within seconds. So you were definitely awake. Next was to test if this was a hallucination from sleep deprivation. You squeeze your eyes shut, as hard as you can you think your face might melt, scared to open them back up. He was still there, with a face of confusion mixing with anger. Okay, now it was ghost checking time. You gently went to put your arm through him, ghosts are just apparitions right? Your whole hand went through his body.

“W-what..?” he stuttered out, almost like a croak.

You pondered, how could he touch you but you couldn’t touch him. A realization came to you, causing you to jerk your hand back. He could hurt you but you can’t even defend yourself against him. Tears started to spill again.

“Please don’t hurt me.” you whimpered softly, completely submissive.

His eyes widen, freaked out that you thought he was trying to hurt you. “I’m not… I wouldn't…. how… what…” he was totally as confused as you were. Probably more scared than you, if that was even possible. This boy is dead and he doesn’t even know. The sound of footsteps approach your door, and the ghost was gone.

“Why is your light still on, sweetie?” your mother comes in, wincing from the brightness.

“Sorry, I’ll wrap it up soon.” you told her, again, like nothing was wrong. You quickly turned away, shielding your tears from her. She was oblivious and didn’t even notice. Your mom walks into your room, admiring your wall of old pictures of your friends.

“This is nice…” she says, trailing off knowing you weren’t happy with the move becasue you were an hour away from all your friends now. You hum meekly, not able to say a word about the topic. “I’m really sorry honey. It was just… You know your dad got this new job. And neither of us wanted to move your senior year but… We didn’t have a choice. You know that.”

“It’s fine, mom. I’ll meet new friends! And I’ll still have them! So I’ll have twice the amount of friends now.” you struggled to fake enthusiasm, but your mother’s density seemed to buy it

“Well. You gotta go to the new school tomorrow. It’s Monday now, so you gotta get up early. You can even take my car. Maybe I’ll ask your dad if he’d be willing to buy you your own! Uh? How about that.”

“Sounds great. That’d be really cool…” you tried to say with fervor, but it came off more sarcastic.

Your mom came over to you and planted a kiss on your forehead. “You know I love you, sweetie.” you nod in response as she turns to leave, turning the light out on the way out.

The boy didn’t come back again that night


School sucked. You didn’t meet any new friends. Kids looked at you weird. The school was a lot bigger than your last one. You were late to one of your classes. And the walls were bare, with the exception of some random suicide prevention posters up. They gave you a sour taste in your stomach. The words “The Connor Project” almost screaming out to you as you passed them at the end of each hallway. Was Connor a kid at your school? Is? Was? That was even more disturbing to think about, there was a dead kid at your new school that everyone is probably mourning and you have no clue who this kid even was.


No. No! That was completely ridiculous. Absolutely not.

Once you got home, you found yourself opening your laptop typing the name of the school and the name on the posters.

Connor Murphy -  Obituaries

You clicked the link, leading you to an obit from almost a year ago that contained a school picture.


The colored picture was a kid looking straight into the camera. A kid that had sad heterochromic eyes. A kid with a bumpy nose. A kid with a wide mouth with a define cupid’s bow. A kid was long brown shoulder length hair.

A kid that looked eerily similar to whatever you saw last night.

You ran downstairs. Your mom making god-knows-what in the kitchen with your dad.

“Did a kid kill himself in this house.” you blurted out. You didn’t want to put it that way. That sounded insensitive. But the words were already out there. You mom was shocked, eyes wide and she brought her lips in, as if she was sealing them. You’re dad pushed up his sleeves and tilted his head to the right, squeezing his eyes closed as if he was trying to read the lines he was about to tell you, like they were tiny little cue cards in his head.

“We should all sit down.” he calmly said. Good one, father. Rehearsed that perfectly. The three of you head over to the couch, you sitting on the chair opposite, like they were having an intervention for you that you started.

Your father started. “There was a family who lived here. The Murphy’s.” Christ. It’s been confirmed.

“They had two children. Zoe… and er…” your mom took control of the conversation but paused before saying his name. “and Connor.”

“Last year… Around this time. Connor…” Your mother covered her mouth, like she was going to start to cry. You wanted to roll your eyes at her fake sympathy. Your father took her hand.

“He hung himself, (y/n)”

Your mother chimes in, “(y/fathers/n)! You don’t have to be so brash. God! Sweetie, the young man, the Murphy’s son, committed suicide. He was very unhappy, sweetie. And if you’re ever going through anything-”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll talk to you guys about anything I’m going through or whatever.” You lied. Not necessarily about the depression bit, but more over on the side of telling them things. No way in hell were you going to tell them you thought the house was haunted. They’d think you were just paranoid. “Um… where did it happen?” They knew what you meant by it.

In his bedroom. Which, is my office now. That’s why we had you take the girls room. Just because you were destined to find out. And I know that wouldn’t sit right with you” Your dad said. You sighed, sinking back in your chair. After letting all the information set in, you went slowly back up to your room, pulling out your phone.

You googled: exorcists in my area.

Bad news was that this new town didn’t seem to have any exorcists nearby, and the closest one was about 3 hours away and charged a hell of a lot. Money you didn’t have. Money you couldn’t even ask your parents for because imagining what that conversation would be like was one that wouldn’t go. Not even well, just wouldn’t go. So you decided if you’re going to be living here for the next year before going off to college. It was ghost befriending time. You felt a little stupid typing into the search bar “how to befriend a ghost that doesn’t know he’s a ghost living in your house .” Nothing. You went for something more broad. “Befriending ghosts”. More, not many, results showed up, causing you to scan through them. You read almost every article on the first two pages. Even watched some videos (with headphones in case the parents would hear). Also, you may or may not have taken notes. It was getting late, and you heard your parents go to bed. Connor was going to knock any minute, your phone was at 11:59. You walked up to your door. And as soon as a knock happened, you swung it open. Connor angrily standing there, bewildered now.

“Shit.” he said under his breath. You signaled for him to come in. “I,” he paused. “What happened to Zoe? What happened to my parents? Where are they.” he was started to catch on, realizing  something was up.

Even though you were scared, you also felt like you owed him something. You weren’t sure why, but he needed to know. At least a little.

“They don’t live here anymore, Connor.”

“What… What are you saying. Where the hell are they? And… H-how do you even know my name?” he stammered over his words, not looking at me. I tried to avoid his neck.

“Connor… do you know what you are.”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“Do you know what I’m talking about?” He ignores you. Instead, he’s focused on the mirror hung up on the wall. Shit, he can’t look at himself like that. He will freak. You follow his line of sight, seeing you. Just you. Of course, he wouldn’t be there. He’s not living.

“Oh my god…” he started to breath heavier and heavier, until tear start falling.

“I’m so-”

“Stop! This is some weird nightmare. Some weird long nightmare… That I’m only remembering bits and pieces of as I go more and more into my sleep. I’m going to wake up. I’m going to go to school. I’m going to live a miserable life and make everyone else miserable. I’m-” He’s basically wheezing for air. He fell to the ground, you going by his side, going to try to embrace him until he disappeared.

Well. That went superb.

It had been a couple of days, and you saw no sign of Connor. But you could still sense him lingering, the air always seeming colder when he was around. You’d call out his name. And… Nothing. It was like he was hiding.

Anyway, school was the same. But today was particularly bad, it was worse by one thousand percent than all the other days combined.

You overheard some kids talking in English. “It’s the anniversary.” one said, almost as if he was amused.

“Shut up. I don’t know why you think it’s so funny. You’re messed up.” a girl hissed at him.

“I’m just happy, that’s all.”

“Happy?” she was repulsed.

“Well, if you think about it. It was either us or him.” It clicked in you. They were talking about Connor.

“What the hell do you mean by that.” she asked. You asked the same question in your head. You pretended to look for a pencil inside your bag, turning your body 90 degrees so you could actually hear better as you rummaged through your bag.

The boy with glasses breathed out, “I mean that he would’ve shot up the school if he didn’t snap his neck. That’s what I mean.” the girl looked at him with utter disgust. “You act like that’s far-fetched.”

“Connor wasn’t like that. You didn’t know him.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t either.” they paused. You glanced back, trying to figure out why they stopped. They both peered over at you.

“Could you give us some damn privacy.” the boy growled. You quickly turned back, facing the front of the room, heart beating out of your chest. Shit. Shit. Shit. You already made an enemy, and you didn’t have any friends yet to comfort you. You held your breath for what seemed like the rest of class, zoning out of their conversation, the lecture, everything. The bell snapped you out of it. You tried to get out of there as quickly as possible.

“Hey.” a feminine voice called out. You turn around. It was the girl. “I’m really sorry about Jared. He’s a real jerk. I’m Alana.” She stuck out her hand, but you didn’t shake it. You couldn’t. Hand sweat levels were off the radar.

“I’m really sorry for eavesdropping. That was so not cool.” you blurted out.

“No! No, it’s fine, really.” she reassured you, making you comfortable enough to make eye contact. “I, uh, I know you’re new here. You’re (Y/N) (Y/L/N)! I’m not a stalker or anything i just have to know everyone’s name. I’m running for senior president!” she told you, getting off topic. Shaking her head, “Anyway, enough of the self-promo. Um, what lunch period do you have?

“3rd…” you told her.

“Oh me too! If you want, you can come sit with me.” you weren’t sure if she was being nice, piteous, or deceptive. But you accepted, you didn’t want to eat in the library for the following week, pretending to catch up on your new classes.

Lunch came around and you looked all over for Alana. She spotted you before you spotted her.

“(Y/N)!” she called out much louder than needed to, and everyone looked. Your day was just filled with embarrassment. You walk over, with your head down and sit across from Alana. The boy, Jared was there along with another boy who looked severely uncomfortable as well. You made a mental note, knowing that feeling all to well.

“Hey, Alana.” you decided against a verbal hello to the boys. So you just gave them a nod. Jared just kind of stared at you while the other kid smiled awkwardly back. This was weird. Alana was weird. Jared was weird. That kid was weird. And you were weird. All weird in different ways, so it made it even weirder. You all weren’t even on the same ‘weird’ page.

“So, (Y/N). Sorry about the whole ordeal I made in English.” Jared, the boy with glasses who yelled at you, said. It wasn’t a genuine apology. Alana gritted her teeth at him. “Since you’re new to this school, I’ll tell you a little of its history.” He said, almost demented. It reminded you of something the joker would say (Heath Ledger’s joker, may Heath Ledger rest in peace). “You see, today an important day. It’s the day we lost a fellow student. The anniversary of Connor Murphy’s death.” you gulped down. This was all way too much for you. “Great guy. Really added to the atmosphere here. You see all these kids mourning?”

No one seem to be upset. Oh… you got it. He was being sarcastic.

The awkward kid cut him off, “That’s enough.” he yelled, banging his hand on the table.

“Oh, Evan. I know you must be grieving greatly. You were his best friend after all.” Evan glared at Jared. So that’s his name. Everyone was dead silent. Like, the whole cafeteria. A girl got up and ran out. You swear to god, you recognized her. “Oh, look. Your girlfriend, Zoe. Aren’t you going to go get her?” Zoe? Fuck. Zoe was the sister. Evan followed her out, chasing behind.

“She still goes here.” you accidentally asked with concern aloud. Jared looked at you scarily, almost wanting to smirk. This conversation going exactly as he wanted.

“Oh! So you know about the Murphys? How’s that?”

“Jared, stop it.” Alana told him

“No!” he said, “How do you know about them?”

You couldn’t tell them. You weren’t about to let them know you live in that house. Jared would probably harass you some more.

“I- I don’t. I don’t know anything. I’m just gonna go-” you start to get up.

“No! You can’t go!” he announced. Alana pinched the bridge of her nose. “Tell us about it?”

“About what?” you asked back.

“Are you an idiot or something? The house. Alana told us you live in the house. Come on! Is it haunted? I feel like Connor was a troubled soul. Did you exorcise it? You really should look into that!” Your eyes darted over to Alana. She didn’t look at you. Is this why she wanted you to sit there. You jolted up, walking rapidly out of the cafeteria. You went to walk down one hallway but you saw Evan trying to comfort zone, which she seemed more tense and remote in his present. You could tell it would be better for Evan to just leave her alone, but you decided against interfering. You barely knew what the hell happened other than the death of this kid Connor.

School really sucked.

Hours past. It was about midnight and you couldn’t stop thinking about it. Really, you couldn’t stop crying. You started crying because of how no one seemed to be nice at this school, then you started bawling about how your old school was fine and how you missed all your friends and the familiarity and everything that this new place isn’t.

“Why are you crying.”

Your head shut up. Connor was at the end of your bed. He stared into the mirror. At nothing.

“You didn’t knock?” trying to make a joke but you accidentally let your voice crack.

The corners of his mouth pulled up, but quickly fell. He got straight to the point, “I’m dead, aren’t I?” he asked. All you had to do was look at him, and he got the answer from your eyes. He shut his eyes.

You wanted to get his mind off the matter. “School sucks. That’s why I’m crying, if you’re still curious.”

“If you go to the one I go to, you got that fucking right.” neither one of you corrected his wording of the present tense of “to go”. But you both knew.

“People are mean.” you murmured out.

“Yeah… I know.” he clenched his jaw. Shit. You guessed that school was a factor why he did… it. “Who was mean to you?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Then what do you wanna talk about because you don’t wanna talk about the fact I offed myself, so I’m kind of running out of conversation topics here.” You didn’t say anything. He squeezed his knuckles, digging his nails into his palms like you do sometimes. You didn’t know what to say, he kept going anyway. “It wasn’t Jared Kleinman, was it?” he asked bluntly. So that was his last name. “Fucking Christ, he’s such a dick.” his voice gets a little louder. Your face must of given it away. You made another mental note to show letting your thoughts show to easily. “Avoid him. Just ignore everything he says or does. You have to numb yourself at this school, okay.”

Your ghost was giving you survival tips on how to make it through senior year. It’s ironic, because, he didn’t exactly survive it himself. But this irony was not of the humorous sort. You felt sick.

“Hey, you alright?” He asked.

“Yes, I just feel dizzy.” the room really started to spin. It’s like you momentarily forgotten you were talking to a literal dead person and when you remember, you reacted the way any normal person would. You passed out.

“Hey, um, girl.” Connor never learned your name. “Hey, um. You aren’t dead too? Right.” Connor almost started to dryly smile to himself. “Because I’m the one who gets to haunt this house, not you.” He checked your pulse. It was strange. He seemed to be able to touch you, but you couldn’t touch him. He was having the same realization as you. He got up. Looking around your room for anything he could find more about you on. He looked along your walls, looking at pictures of you and your friends. There was one of you kisses some guys cheek. Connor got annoyed by it. Why did everyone have someone but him. He looked back at you, the unknown girl to him, and bought a cover up your body. Then disappearing

The following day of school, you guessed it, sucked. You’re starting to see a pattern here.

Alana tried talking to you again. You didn’t want to talk with her though, you didn’t even want to look at her. Jared just kind of would glance at you and quickly look away, guilt lingering in his stares. Then, Evan just kept his head down. Not that you were mad at him or anything. He didn’t do anything. Well, not to you. It seemed something was up with that awkward kid. Like, did he mess around with Zoe or was he a dick to Connor? He didn’t seem like either type, so you let it go.

Jared did approach you after school in the parking lot.

“(Y/N)!” he called out nervously. You kept walking, putting in your earphones to drown him out; drown everything out. You could tell he was still calling stuff out, but you couldn’t hear it over the lyrics of Karma Police. You felt a hand grasp your shoulder, turning you around roughly. Was this kid trying to fight you? He paused your music from your headphones. “Hey.” he said shyly.

“Please, just leave me alone.” You unpaused your music and started toward your car again. This time he ran in front of you, taking out your earphones.

“I’m sorry, (y/n). I don’t know why I was like that yesterday. Just, the whole Connor thing kind of tips me off.”

You cut him off not really caring to hear more, “It’s whatever. If you really wanna apologize, just leave me alone and that’d be more than enough.”

“Please, just wait. I don’t want you to think I’m this massive asshole. I mean, I am an asshole. But I was just vindictive yesterday. Something happened after Connor’s death. Something messed up that some kid did and, I uh, I helped him with it. And I still feel guilty. It was fucked up, and I’m still angry about it. So I took it out in you, god knows why.” His voice started to tremble. You started feeling bad, now.

“Jared, it’s fine.”

“It isn’t fine. None of it was fine. Evan got out of hand, and I was just as bad.”

Confused, you stated: “Evan didn’t really do anything.”

“Not yesterday. Before… The Connor Project. Fuck. Never mind, I’ll just see you tomorrow.” Jared quickly b-lined for his car. You stood there, not understanding one bit.

Maybe Connor will have some answers.

You took a nap when you got home. You haven’t been getting much sleep, and you knew you’d have to wake up at midnight to talk to Connor. Your life was getting weird.

You woke up to a weight at the edge of your bed. Your eyes fluttered open, Connor sitting before you. His hair in front of his face looking at one of your old yearbook. The one from 9th grade.

“You look really different now.” he simpered. Everyone’s 9th grade picture was cringy. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Drawing out each name.

You tore it out of his hands. “So is this how you haunt people? Humiliation? Because the average ghost would flicker the lights on and off, or throw my valuables at me, or write murderous things in my wall with my cat’s blood.”

“You have a cat?”

“You missed the point.”

“Are you really trying to tell me how to be a proper ghost? Because I don’t believe you have that sort of experience under your belt.” he slyly stated.

Without even thinking (which you really should have fucking done), you remarked back, “says the one trying to tell me how to survive high school.” your eyes widen. Did you really just fucking say that. His jaw clenched, digging his nails into his palms, knowing he wouldn’t feel a thing. “Shit. that was supposed to be a joke. But I suppose jokes are funny, and that was just-”

He cut you off, “This sucks. This still sucks so much and I’m still in so much pain. But I can’t even hurt myself. I’m just stuck. Afterlife fucking suck. But high school was so bad, my family was so unbearable, I was so insufferable. Everything was starting to feel not real, I was numbing myself. No one was there for me. No one gave two shits about the freak. No one ever reached out. I had no one. No one to talk to. No one to vent to. No one.”

Your heart started hurting.  An “I’m sorry.” was all you could muster out.

“It’s too late.”

“I know….” you paused. You understood how he felt. Being alone. Being with people didn’t even stop that feeling. But you weren’t about to tell him that. “Do you know an Evan Hansen.” There you went with the present tense again.

The lights started to flicker, you would’ve made a joke if you both weren’t having a serious conversation about it. “Yeah.” he said simply, trying to not get angry. There was pause between the both of you before he continued. “I thought he might’ve been a nice kid. He wasn’t. He made fun of me just like everyone else… With this note. God, that stupid fucking note.”

“What did the note say.”

“Doesn’t matter. It was some prank. Jared probably put him up to it. They just wanted to get in my head.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.”

“I’m sorry.” He whipped his head at you, “Shit, I mean-”

“It’s fine, (Y/n). Just… try not to. Or whatever. I don’t give a fuck what you do or don’t do. Why’d you ask about Evan?”

“Jared brought him up to me today-”

Connor cut you off, “I thought I told you to avoid that fucking kid. He’s not a nice guy.”

“I tried. No, I tried. He like, hunted me down in the parking lot. Apologizing and telling me some stuff.”

“Don’t listen to him. He’s probably trying to make some joke. He thinks he’s the fucking class clown but he’s not even funny.” he paused, curious about what he might have said. “What was the stuff he told you.”

“Um…” you didn’t know whether to tell him about the Connor Project. It was obviously about him, but he didn’t seem to be fond of anyone at his school. Not even his sister. Now wasn’t the right time to bring that up. You know he’d be pissed about it. And now, it pissed you off, feeling like it was a pity project to make people feel better that no one actually cared about Connor.

“Woah, easy.” Connor said, sort of aggressively. He pulled your fingers off your palms, finding little red marks indenting your skin, the skin slightly broken. He brushed his fingers over the marks, you didn’t even realize you started to do that “I do the same thing. It just doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Connor didn’t re-ask what Jared told you. You two kind of talked about random stuff the rest of the night. Like your family (who were very different but similar in the rich neglectful way), your old lives (his living and yours where you used to live), and then music (which surprisingly was very similar! How many people can say their house ghost has a good taste in music. I’d take a wild guess and say next to none!) You stayed up until three, and both of you were getting tired (ghosts need sleep too apparently, existing in that form is draining.) You fell asleep first, curling up your body in a fetal position on your full size bed while Connor sat crossed legged. Before he disappeared, he had the realization that you were cute. Which wasn’t going to be good, finding you attractive.

“(Y/N)?” Jared whispered behind you. Snapping at you to get your attention. “Hey (Y/N) Pst! Hey, hey, (Y/N)!” he started yelling-whispering. “Heeeee-”

“What, Jared?” you hissed back. He leaned back in his desk, smiling widely at you in a goofy way.

“Wanna be partners?” he asked, pretending like you never said to leave you alone.

“Aren’t you usually with Alana?”

“She’s at some Student Council field trip for like three days, so I thought since neither of us have partners. Then we should just group up.”

You corrected him “You can’t find a partner.”

“Oh, I forgot. You’re miss popular. I mean, look at all the people begging to be your partner. What? You want me to get on my knees, profess my dire need of your partnership? Huh?”

“No don’t-” …And the boy was on his knees, making a scene.

“Oh, sweet merciful goddess of forgiveness. Please take mercy in me and take me on as your burden. Rise me up through the ashes and make me anew. Oh-”

“Okay okay. Please just stop… whatever you were just doing. Bring a desk over here.” you quickly told him, getting up to stop. You tried to hide your face. Half the class chuckled while the other rolled their eyes. So this was typical. Connor did tell you he was the class clown type. Though, Connor would’ve been a part of the half to roll their eyes.

The two of you started working. It was a MacBeth project. Recreating some scene in a modern day aspect. Jared wouldn’t shut up because how lame it was. Though, as you wrote the script, he would put his two cent on what memes to add. You ignored him.

You couldn’t help but to think about what Jared was telling me yesterday. You knew it was none of your business, but you couldn’t help to feel curious. Especially since you, well know Connor.

“Jared.” you said, not looking up from the paper you were writing on. “Um, what’s the Connor Project?”

He shifted awkwardly in his seat, “It’s a dead club.” You knew if he didn’t feel guilty about the whole thing, he would have chuckled at his accidentally pun. “The posters are still up just to make everyone feel better. Like the schools doing something when no one is.”

“Well, why isn’t anyone running it.”

“Why are you so curious about it all of the sudden. You didn’t want me to talk to you at all yesterday now you’re asking me questions about this. What’s the catch?”

“There isn’t one… I’m just… I don’t know. You, Alana, Evan, and Zoe just were really beat up about it. But no one else seemed to even flinch or bat an eye. Did Connor mean a lot to you.” you weren’t sure why you were asking questions you knew the answers too, people do that a lot to hear what they wanna hear.

“I don’t wanna to talk about it.” No one wanted to talk about anything, you thought.

“I see.”

Jared remarked: “You don't…”

“Why’s that.”

“You don’t know anything that went down. You know some kid killed himself and Evan started the Project. Which is now dead. T-the project, that is.”

“Well, I don’t know anything because no one will tell me.” You thought to yourself for a minute, waiting for a response. Evan started it. But Connor said that Evan wrote that mean note-

“Can we just get back to working in this stupid project.”

You complied. You still had no answers, a fuck ton of questions, and a memeless MacBeth project.

You got home later that day around 3. Connor was already in your room.

“You’re up early.” you say unphased. I mean, come on. A ghost lives in your house and you talk to him daily, what else could phase you at this point.

“Yeah, I haven’t really figured out why though.” he mumbled. He’s lying on your bed, staring at your ceiling. You notice scars all on his forearms. You don’t say anything. “I think my body thought it was 12 at night, when it was really 12 in the afternoon. I’ve been laying here for about 3 hours waiting for you to get home. Why don’t you have a clock in here.”

“Because I have a phone.”

“Yeah, but you don’t even have an alarm clock.”

“My phone is my alarm clock.”

He changed the subject, “How’s school.”

You shrugged your shoulders, looking around at everything other than him. He looked tired and so beat up. It made you incredibly sad. Connor caught on

“Is there a reason you won’t look at me.” he said, annoyed by your distance. “Am I that ugly?” That’s when you realized. Your ghost was cute. But he was hard to look at, seeing all the pain he had to go through. You wanted to start crying for him in a way. But what gave you the right to cry. Also, why did you refer to him as your ghost.

You made yourself make eye contact. Connor noted to himself that if he were alive, he would’ve blushed. But there is no blood running through his body anymore. “You happy. I’m just stressing out about this MacBeth project.”

“The modernization one?”

“Yeah, you did it?”

“I received it.” he said dryly, understanding what he meant. You looked away. He noticed. “Um, you had to partner up with someone right? Who’d you group with?” he asked, trying to steer back the conversation on the right road.

You couldn’t tell him, so you lied: “Alana. I’m not sure what her last name is.”

“Beck. It’s Alana Beck. You’ll ace that one. You’ll just have to deal with her annoying ass.” you smiled at him, reconnecting your eye contact.

“She seems okay.” you lied. You were still mad about what happened at lunch, and how she told Jared about your personal life. So you didn’t care for her.

“She’s, like, obsessed with how people see her.”

“Aren’t we all.”

“You don’t seem that way.”

“I am. I really want to make friends at this school.”

“No one’s worth your time…” he paused, going into a deep thought than coming out of it. “Alana, though. She does all this shit so other people think she’s this kind person like food drives. You know, that kind of shit. But she only does it for bonus points, like, so she can put it all on her college application.” You wondered if she was a part of the Connor Project?

“I mean, at least sees doing something.”

“But she’s not sincere about any of it. She doesn’t care.” he looked really sad again. Not even sad just empty. “I'm… I’m  just gonna go.”

“Wait, Con-” and he disappeared. Then, you felt really alone.

You tried facetiming your old friends. No one was able to pick up. It was Friday. And Fridays at your old town meant bonfire nights. Ugh, it was probably the first fire of senior year, and you were missing it. You were missing all of it. You went on instagram to see all their pictures. First, you looked at the old ones. Then the newer ones. The ones showing you weren’t missed. You noticed a message.

Jared Kleinman wants to send you a message.

Ew. No.

You read it anyway.

@JaredKleinmeme: hey i realized that this has to be a rough draft by monday and we only have half of it done. So we gotta meet up over the weekend. I would say my house but my moms are redoing our floors. So idk where you wanna meet.

No way were you coming here. Connor would have a fit. But you can’t borrow he car over weekends because your mom and dad both work during the day.

You got to message back.

Do you have a car? I don’t think we can come to my house?

He typed back within seconds.

No, i don’t. My parents only let me use theirs when i go to school.

Shit. Sure we can’t do yours???


Connor only ever seems to be in your room. Maybe if you guys stayed downstairs he’d never know.

Okay. We will make mine work.

Jared came over Saturday. You guys stayed in your living room. Everything was fine until your mom left.

Jared was focused on his computer. Writing out the rough draft.

Connor appeared at the stairs.

“Oh my god!” you screamed out, making Jared jump.

“What the hell?” Jared goes to look, but you grab his head to make him look at you. He turned flush.

“Sorry! I’m still getting adjusted to this house. Sometimes I just think I see things.”

Jared gets serious, “You don’t think it’s, like…. haunted or anything.”

He’s onto you. “Jared. Stop being ridiculous. I didn’t mean it like that.” Shit. Why did you make up that excuse?

“Yeah..” he chuckled meekly. “Sorry… I’m just… paranoid. Connor didn’t like me. For valid reasons. I wasn’t exactly nice to the guy-” a crash sounded upstairs. In a flash, Jared started collecting his stuff. “I-I-I’ll finish the project at home, just don’t worry about.”

“Jared. That was just my cat! It’s fine.” you lied. You didn’t have a cat.

“I know that this is going to sound crazy, but just in case Connor is haunting your house. He probably is a vengeful ghost and will kill me. I really have to go, okay. I’ll email you the script.” he practically ran out of your house. Connor popped up right in front of you as the door shut behind Jared, causing you to stagger back surprised.

“What the hell, (Y/N)?!” he fumed.

“No! What the hell to you, Connor!” you matched his anger. “Don’t do that shit when I have people over. Jared thinks you’re haunting the house now.”

“Well, aren’t I?” he hissed, “I can’t believe you lied to me. God, literally I told you to talk to anyone but him. But not only are you his friend, you’re inviting him over to your goddamn house. Are you trying to fuck him or something. That fucking virgin probably itching you to fuck him.” Connor was completely out of hand.

“What the actual hell, Connor. What’s your fucking problem!

“Jared! Jared fucking Kleinman is my fucking problem, (Y/N)!”

“Well he’s gone, thanks for that by the way! Just an FYI, I’d never even hug Jared if my life depended on it, let alone try and have sex with him. So, drop it!”

“Then what was he doing here.”

“A project! A stupid MacBeth one.”

“You told me you were working on that with Alana?”


You story fell through. “Shit… I… You know I couldn’t have told you.”

“Why are you working with him then?”

“Because he was the only one left in the class. Are you done interrogating me? Because now i have to worry about how to tell people my house isn’t being haunted by some freak.” You froze, your hands covering your mouth as if you could shove that last word back in, pretending you never said it.

“Go fuck yourself.” He screamed his voice cracking. You couldn’t believe you let that word leave your mouth. Especially directing it at Connor. You fucked up.

You didn’t see Connor for a full week. You tried apologizing, knowing he had to be around somewhere. He was. He always was. He’d watch you at all times. He’d watch you sit and watch TV, eat dinner with your family, watch you sleep, and write in your journal. You always felt his presence, the air always felt a little colder when he was around.

You couldn’t stand not talking to him.

The following Friday came. You looked at your friends pictures online. Then, you looked at the people from your new school pictures. And then you looked in the mirror. Coming face to face with yourself. All alone. Tears started rolling down your cheeks. You were so alone, it started to ache. Even your parents were out doing things.

You started talking out loud. “I’m so sorry, Connor. I didn’t mean that. I was… I don’t even know why I said it. I don’t believe that at all. I miss talking to you. You’re the only friend I have here and I miss you so goddamn much. I’m an idiot for saying that and I should never talk again because I always screw up and I’m the worst and I’m sorry I’m the person who moved into this house because I’m just like the people at our school. I belong there, I suppose. Even though I’m an outcast, a fucking loser. I am the freak Connor.”

“I guess we are both freaks then.” he appeared next to you on your bed. How didn’t you notice the weight before.

Tears burst out, and you cried loud. “I’m so sorry. You’re not a freak.” Connor brought you into a hug. You were shocked at first, his cold exterior touching you. You slowly put your arms around him. Not wanting to go through him.

You didn’t.

You were hugging him. Touching him.

“Connor?” you muffled into his chest.

“Mhm?” his face was buried in your hair.

“How am I touching you?”

“I think I’m letting you. I don’t really know. I don’t have a ghost manual.”

“That would’ve been handy.” the two of you chuckle lightly. But yours came out really weird because you were still crying. He squeezed you tighter.

“Can I tell you something?”


“I read your diary…” you disconnect from him, staring into his eyes, bewildered.

“You did what?”

He continued. “While you were at school today. I was going through your room. And I found your black book, noticed there was writing in it. And I kind of read it all.”

“You… read… all of it?” You weren’t even mad. What you felt was worse, you were mortified.

“We never talk about your problems. I don’t know. I didn’t know you felt that way… So alone.”

You were beyond mortified. You couldn’t believe he read the entirety of your diary. “Oh god….”

“Don’t be embarrassed. I’m not gonna tell anyone. um… I mean I can’t. You’re the only person I talk to. Because I’m dead-”

“I get it, Connor.” you squeezed the bridge of your nose, not wanting to look at him. You wrote about everything in there.

“You don’t want to… you know. Um. Commit suicide.” Your head shot up, meeting his eyes. He looked so worried and sad. “Because, coming from me, it’s not at all worth it. Um, it didn’t solve anything. I almost wish I didn’t fucking do it. All I had to do was wait another year. Go to college. Pay for my own therapy. I could’ve done it. I was just so…. lost… and alone…. I couldn’t see a future. But you’re really great. You’re amazing. You’re like the best person I’ve ever met. And I wish I would’ve known you when I was alive. Maybe…. just maybe…” he quickly shut his mouth, knowing if he finished his sentence, he’d break. He turned away, knowing the tears that were welling up in his eyes were about to fall. You grabbed his hand, silently reassuring that it was okay to cry. Neither of you said anything for the rest of the night. You both just laid in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, innocently holding hands.

Both of you felt a sense of belonging for the first time in a while.

You shot up from sleeping the next morning, Connor’s body gone.

He read your diary. Fuck. You wrote about that one kid Tyler at your old school. That weird, awkward, awful sexual encounter with Tyler. Oh, my god. You’re humiliated.

He didn’t bring it up all weekend though - thank god - hopefully he never would. But then school came around Monday.

“Hey, um, (Y/N)?” a voice questioned you from behind Turning around, your eyes met Zoe Murphy’s. Shit. “I’m Zoe… er Murphy.”

“Yeah, um. I remember you. From the house sale, that is.” you stammered. Why was she talking to you.

“Oh, cool. Um, are you eating with anyone at lunch today? Because, I wanted to see if you wanted to sit with my friends and I? I’m just super confused on what we are doing in here and you seem to be the only one in class who actually knows what’s going on. And I’m trying to get in Juilliard, and I need to show them I’m not only good at playing in the Jazz band, but also at astrophysics. But if you’re busy, or sitting with other people, I totally understand.”

You shifted in your seat. You weren’t busy or sitting with others. But you didn’t want to sound pathetic. “I’m behind on some work-”

“Oh…” she looked incredibly sad. Like almost Connor-level sad. “That’s fine. Sorry, it was probably really weird for me to ask you like that-”

“No! N-no no no. It’s fine. Actually, I can sit with you! I’m not that behind.”

She smiled slightly, almost so subtly; you’d miss it if you blink. “Awesome! I sit at the first table by the window near the gym. Or, um, I could meet you-”

“Nope, I’ll just come to the table.”

“Sweet.” she nodded her head. “Um, I’ll see you there then?”

“Yeah… Um, for sure.” you said with weak excitement. Zoe waved and walked in the opposite direction.

What does she want now? People just don’t invite others to randomly sit with them. . Especially not the girl who moved into your old house who hangs out with your dead brother. Unless of course if you’re Alana and you wanted something out of it. Did Zoe want something more than a lesson in astrophysics from you?

The first half of the day dragged on, you not really being there entirely because your thoughts kept drifting off to Zoe, or Connor, or Jared, Alana, or even Evan. Didn’t Jared say something about Evan dating Zoe, and Connor said something about a mean note from Evan. Nothing made sense. You weren’t just a step behind, you were a full mile.

Lunch finally came, and you found Zoe right away. She was watching the door for you to come. There were a few of her friends at the table. They all smiled and said hi when you sat down. You caught none of their names. Zoe forced a conversation out of you. She kind of reminded you of your old friends: nice, pretty, talkative, cool without trying. You told her that. She smiled bigger, almost more subtly. In the middle of your explanation of spectroscopy, she interrupted you.

“(Y/N), what are you doing after school?”

Hanging out with your dead brother. You decided to go with: “Um, nothing I can think of.” instead.

“Cool. Um, do you wanna maybe hang out after? Um, we can get coffee? If you uh, like coffee.” she asked, you couldn’t help but to think it was a trap.

“I do, I do. But I have to get the car back for my mom in time for her to go to work-”

“I could pick you up. I mean, I know where you live.” she tried chuckling.

You didn’t know how to get out of this one. And a small part of you yearned for any type of friendship between the living. “Uh… are you sure? I could ask if my mom could just drop me off?”

Zoe reassured you, “No! No, it’s fine. It’s not out of the way.”

“Only if you really want to.”

“Yeah, of course! Do you wanna go right after school?”

“Do you actually just wanna follow me to my, er, the house?” you felt weird using personal pronouns when it previously belonged to her. She nodded, not bothered by it though.

You regretted it as soon as you made the official plan. This was gonna be weird.

This was weird.

Zoe followed behind, even though she knew the way better, she probably knew the back roads. You parked the car in the driveway, and quickly got in hers. She was staring at the house, looking at Connor’s room window.

“I live in that one.” Pointing at her old room, knowing it was hers, to distract her from Connor.

“That was mine!” She says excited. “The closet’s really nice.”

You forced out a laugh, sounding real enough. “I know! I love it. Most of my clothes are still in boxes because I’m just too lazy to put them all away.”

“No way! Me too. More than half of them are still in tubs on my floor. My mom is so annoyed by it. She’ll probably hang them up soon if I don’t.”

“My mom would never do that. She’s been in my room once. Maybe twice. She doesn’t really care what I do.” Zoe frowns at this. “N-not like she doesn’t care about me or anything. Just like what I do. I have more freedom than I know what to do with?”

“Oh… That’s actually really cool. Do you want to come to a party on Friday then?” Zoe blurted out, feeling like she had been too forward.  

“Um…” you hadn’t been to a party since your old town. What were these parties like. How do you dress? How do you act here?

“You could come over to my house, er, new house and get ready with me and the girls.” she made it sound appealing. This was a chance to meet friends.

“Yeah. Um, I’ll think about it.” Or this was a chance for everyone to find you weird. You were caught in the middle of your two-sided thoughts.

“Cool.” she stated pulling into the coffee shop. “I go here all the time. They have really good Matcha Tea. I’m not a huge coffee or tea person, but Matchas really good.”

The two of you went in, ordered (both getting Matcha, Zoe was right, it was really good), and sat down. It was odd at first. It felt like an awkward blind date that neither party wanted to be there. But after a while, you warmed up. You told her all about your old town, school, and friends. She told you about your new town, your school, and her friends.

“What are parties like here, anyway?” you gushed. “I’ve only been to parties where I know everyone. We play pong, drink, couples hookup in bathrooms, and then everyone talks about it at school the following Monday on who won at pong, who got blackout, and who had sex.”

She laughed wholeheartedly, “It’s basically the same. But we play flip cup.”

“Shit, I don’t know the rules for that.”

“Don’t worry. It’s easier than pong. Just watch what the people do before you.”

You both laugh, having genuine fun. She didn’t ask anything from you. Or use you for her advantage.

Something was off.

But you left it alone. She drove you home. It was around 8. You knew you had to work on some homework before bed, even through her protests. She told you to keep sitting with her at lunch, if you wanted to. You agreed.

You walked into your house smiling.

“Why was Zoe’s car in front of the house?”

Connor asked, scaring you half to death the minute you entered your room.

“God. You need to stop just popping up. You’re going to give me a heart-attack.”

“What? So you wanna hang out with her now? Are you sick of me? Did she tell you things about me. All the terrible things I did to her? Did you talk about me? No, that’d be ridiculous. She’d think you were crazy.”

There Connor went off again, rambling out his anxieties. “Slow down, Connor. We didn’t talk about you at all. You didn’t even come up.”

“Of course I didn’t, why would she talk about me. She’s probably glad I’m gone.

“That’s not true at all. The day… The Anniversary. She was crying in school. And she just looks sad all the time.” his face fell with even more grief. “Not like… ‘All the time’, like just when she thinks about you.”

“I thought you guys didn’t talk about me.”

“We didn’t. Sometimes you can just tell.”

“She wants something, (Y/N).”

“Like what. If she did, she would’ve asked today, not asked if I wanted to sit with her at lunch or go to this stupid party on Friday.”

“You’re going to a party? Who’s house?”

“Maybe… and I don’t know? I don’t even know if I’m going.”

“Don’t. Nothing ever good happens at party.”

“Are you, like, a party expert?” you ridiculed.

“Shut up. I’ve heard what happens.”

“I’m headstrong, Murphy. Now get out, I have to change.”

“I’ve seen you change before…” he said nonchalantly.

You turned red, “What!?” you hissed.

“I thought you knew I was there. You just walked in and threw off your shirt and pants.”

“Oh my god.” you held your head in your hands.

“ I tried to leave, but i still have to open doors to get to places. A common misconception about ghosts by the way. Or I just haven’t figured it out yet…” he didn’t realize your embarrassment, continuing to ramble.

You cut him off, “You’ve seen me naked?” you exclaimed.

“No! Just bra and underwear! Not full on. Not like Tyler.”

“Tyler?” you asked confused, then it hit you. “Oh my god!” You run to your bed, burrowing your face from all the humiliation. “Get out, you perv!” You shouted, throwing a pillow through him. “Wait how can things go through you if you can’t go through them?”

“Exactly what you said. Things can go through me, but I can’t go through them. Or at least I haven’t figured it out.”

You didn’t actual care at that moment, your distress taking over of all other worries. “Oh my god. Just get out.” you groaned, huffing into a body pillow.

He laughed as he closed the door, letting you get changed. “Lemme know when you’re done.”

You wait a minute, making sure you can’t sense him in your room. He may have been lying about the whole he couldn’t go through things. That’s when you decided. You were definitely only going to change  in your closet from now on.

Friday came. Sitting with Zoe at lunch was a lot of fun. She never brought up Connor or the house. I mean, why would she bring Connor up to you? To her knowledge, you don’t know him. You went home and immediately started getting ready for the party.

“Are you really going to that stupid fucking thing.” Connor groaned.

“Yes.” you mumbled, doing your hair in your mirror.

“Wouldn’t you rather hang out with me.” he huffed, lying on your bed, reading something.

“We hang out every day.” You looked over at him, realizing your diary was in his hands. “S-stop reading that.” you turned red, getting up and tackling him, trying to get it out of his hands. He held his one arm out, using the other to gently stop you. Your whole body was basically straddling him. Then, he turned red. Well, as much color as a ghost could get. You finally retrieved it, not noticing his bashfulness. “Ha!” you announced. Closing the book and putting in back on your bookshelf.

Connor just fell back on your bed, just staring at you. He never noticed how your hair framed your face, or how your eyes got all sparkling when you were happy, or how the corners or your mouth would twitch up when you blushed, revealing subtle dimples.

“What are you looking at. Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.” you joked, laughing at it yourself.

“Stay here. With me.” he asked vulnerable.

You paused, his tone throwing you off. You shook it off. “Come on, Con. You know I gotta go out and seem social. People are gonna start to think that I’m staying home all the time to hang out with my only friend, who’s a ghost.” You’d never called him Con before. He liked it.

“Not a chance people are going to start thinking that…” he smiled, finding that scenario completely ridiculous. And finding you completely perfect.

“I’ll be home tomorrow! All day, and we can play video games or watch movies downstairs when my parents leave.”

“Why do that tomorrow? When you could do that tonight?” Connor kept trying. You walked over to him, giving him the ever so lightest peck on his forehead. His stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. He got that saying now.

“Tomorrow, Connor. I promise.” A beep came out from outside. “That’s your sister. I gotta go. How do I look?”

“Perfect.” he said glumly, but he meant it fully.

“I’m serious, Connor.”

“Me too…” you looked at him funny. “Go, she’s going to honk again. She’s the most impatient person ever.”

“Okay, okay.” you stood before the mirror, brushing your hair in the front, then to the back, then to the front again. Letting out a big, nervous sigh, then heading toward the door. “Bye-bye Murphy. Don’t have too much fun without me!” you called out, your door slamming shut behind you. Connor looked out the window. He meet eyes with Zoe, who was staring straight at her old room window, making what seemed like eye-contact with him. He basically ducked to the floor.

Once you got in the car, Zoe seemed panicked. “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you good.”

She quickly faked a smile, “Yeah! No, I’m good! We gotta pick up the rest of the girls.” Something was up with her.

The night sped by. You got the girls, went back to Zoe’s, touched up hair and makeup, and went to the party. It was actually only like three blocks away from your house. You were all immediately handed shots as soon as you guys walked through the door. And then a red solo cup of beer. And then a mixed drink. This house party was a lot bigger than the ones back home. You had to drink more to feel comfortable, and you sort of blacked out. Coming in and out of consciousness. At one point you were playing flip cup (and dominating), then you were doing a beer bong with Zoe (the girl somehow beat you there, not coming across as the drinking type), then you ended up in a bathroom. On a counter. With your legs and arms around some guy. Who was making out with you. What the heck were you doing.

“Connor?” You drunkenly said.

“No, er, Jared.” that sobered you up. You shoved him off, crossing your arms.

“Oh, my God. No.” you wiped off your mouth. “Hell, no. What the fuck Jared?”

“You started making out with me first. Why the hell did you just call me Connor.” Shit. Why did you call him Connor. You jumped off the counter and stormed out of the room. Someone grabbed you by the shoulder.

“(Y/N)! I’ve been looking for you.” Zoe slurred. You tried focusing on her face, but it was spinning.

“Listen, Zoe. I gotta go home.” you said back, definitely slurring your words too.

“No! You can’t!”

“Yeah, I gotta the other girls are here. You’ll be fine.”

“No, it’s not that. I need to ask you about Conmor.” She mispronounced his name, somehow slurring an M into it.

“What do you mean. I didn’t know him Zoe.” you said nervously

“No. You do. Jared told Alana that you said you see things. And there was a bang in your house and you pretended it was a cat. But you’ve never talked about a cat before. It was like you were trying to cover up. And you kept asking questions.”

“No. No it’s not like that. I just see the posters every day.”

“I saw him, (Y/N)! And you just remind me of him. Like, not like you’re mean but like, I don’t know, your humor. Like, you say things Connor would from time to time. And sometimes, I swear you smell like him. It’s like you talk to him. And I saw him, (y/n), in your room.”

Shit. Shit shit shit. You were in deep shit. Everyone is going to think of you as a fucking ghost whisperer. You had to fix it.

You started laughing, cackling.

“Zoe. Are you serious right now? Are you that drunk? We gotta find you a bed. God, you’re a treat. I haven’t laughed this hard since my old town. Wow.” you pretended to wipe a tear from your eye, humming out the last bit of fake laughs. “I’ll see you Monday.” You turned around and your smirk fell. You had to get out of there. You stumbled down the stairs. Looking for where you came in. Why does being drunk make you lose motor control and your sense of direction?

You somehow made it out and you were walking back home, tripping over your own two feet. You didn’t even realized you made it inside until you had to throw up. You bolted upstairs, going to bathroom and letting all the different kinds of alcohol up from your stomach into the toilet bowl

“(Y/N)?” You rose your head up. Shit, was that your dad.

“Occupied, Dad.” you called out, feeling like that didn’t sound drunk at all. It sounded very drunk.

“Let me in, it’s Connor. Your parents aren’t here.”

“No. I’m gross right now.” you whined out. You were too drunk to talk to him. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Who the fuck am I going to tell. The dead bugs in your window?”

“I don’t care about who you tell. I’m scared of what you’ll think of me.” There was a pause. “Connor?”

“Let me in, (Y/N).” he said so gently and nice, that itself almost made you blush. You crawl over to the door, using the knob to pick you up and then unlock it, not even realizing you locked it in the first place. Connor opened it slowly, peeking his head in as if we didn’t want to startle you. You leaned against the wall, pointing a finger at him.

“I drank a lot.” you confessed, trying to smile and act not as drunk as you were.

“Yeah, I can smell it. Are you ok-” you interrupt his sentence by running to the toilet. He followed behind, holding your hair behind you. He saw that in a movie once. He patted your back, which made you smile into the toilet.

“Isn’t it gross that we put our face so close to the toilet when we puke.” you joked, which did derive a laugh about of him.

“You’re drunk, (Y/N).”

“I know.” you lean your head against the toilet set. “Will you help me up? I wanna brush my teeth and gargle.” Connor complied, helping you up by the waist and leading you over to the sink. You got your blue tooth brush and started brushing.

“Uh, (Y/N)… You forgot the toothpaste.” he shyly told you. You started to laugh.

“Oh yeah, can you help?” he picked up the toothpaste for you and squeezed (a lot) on. Round two: you started brushing again. Making a lot of toothpaste foam. Connor just laughed. Looking at you in the mirror, only slightly annoyed he couldn’t see himself. Even like this, with all that shit dripping out of your mouth, you still looked pretty to him. He wondered what he looked like. It this state he’s in. He noticed he still had the scars on his wrists. He couldn’t help but wonder about his neck. He couldn’t help to think it’d be unfair for him to be able to look at you all the time and you had to look at the mess he was.

You brought him out of his thoughts, “Connor.”


“Stop staring at me. You’re making me self-conscious.” you blushed madly in the mirror. He looked away, allowing you to spit all the toothpaste out of your mouth. You slowly turned the water on, missing the handle the first try, and rinsed you mouth off. You took the Listerine and just started drinking it. Connor quickly took it away from you. You gargles the rest of what you had in your mouth as Connor reached for the cup. You almost spit all over his arm, if he wasn’t able to let stuff go through him.

“I’m glad you a ghost in that instance. Because that would’ve sucked.” He noted you said instance, but didn’t say anything. He walked you to your room, “How many people can say there dead best friend helps their drunk selves out. Zero. I win!” you giggled.

Connor rolled his eyes, “You’re going to be hung over tomorrow.”

“Nooooo…” you retort, as if you were a child.

He sniggered, “We aren’t going to be able to play games or watch movies. Guess I’m going to have to read your diary again.”

“Connor! Anything but that. I’ll stay awake. The less drunk I am when I go to sleep, the less hung over I’ll be. Science.” you told him, realizing the two of you were on your bed.

“No, you should go to sleep. The longer you sleep, the less hung over you’ll be. That’s Science.”

“But I don’t wanna go to sleep.”

“And why’s that.”

“Because I want to talk to you more.”

“We can talk tomorrow.”

“No.” You rise up, your face getting close to Connors. “I wanna talk now.” you whisper.

“A-about.” Connor stammered out. You were so close to him. He’d never been this close to anyone.

“Everything…” you close the distance, placing your lips on his. He’d never kissed anyone before. He never thought he would when he was dead. He kissed back for a split second, until he remembered.

He was dead. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t let you kiss a fucking dead person. He was probably cold and disgusting. He broke the kiss.

“I’m so sorry!” you panicked, creating unwanted distance between the two of you.

“Why did you do that.” Connor hissed, getting up and pacing.

“I don’t know. I’m- I’m sorry. I’m drunk.”

“Don’t ever do that again.” Connor jumped up and stomped out the door, disappearing mid-shut.

You were mortified. Your thoughts raced, thinking of everything that happened, until you passed out from all the alcohol.

Melomaniac (m)

» one who is passionate about music.


Words: 11,191 (i’m sorry)

Genre: Smut, punk!jeon by night, school prep boy!jeon by day.

Summary: “Your mother had always warned you about boys in ripped jeans and messy hair but she never warned you about boys like Jeon Jungkook.”

A/N: Idk what this is I’m so sorry but @thedamfangirls @lovelymims @helloblamebts 

Keep reading

Let’s take things slow

A/N: finally got the guts to post this. Idk how well it turned out cuz no proof-reading. 

Genres: (slight)angst, fluff, smut

Word count: 2,658

The door clicked as it unlocked, revealing your silent lover as he got back from a tiring day of nothing but screams and cheers and from his fans after a large concert not too long ago. Unfortunately, you weren’t there due to certain events such as your extra classes that normally take over your entire day, but he understood that. You both understood how each other was so busy. Never enough time to actually stop and appreciate each other’s presence, let alone touch.

Of course you knew he craved the sexual interactions. But you didn’t want to get him into any trouble with scandals if word were to get out about him dating a minor and living with one. You stood in the kitchen with your back facing him as you washed the dishes that were left from this morning’s hustle and bustle.

“Hey…” he whispered into your ear, swiftly wrapping his arms loosely around your waist and nuzzling into your neck, taking in the familiar and calming scent which was you.

“Hey…” you smiled and chuckled ever so lightly as you felt a sudden vibration close to your hip. He was hungry. But for what you don’t know. Before you were able to drift off from your train of thoughts once again, his voice rang in your ear raggedly.

“I missed you these past weeks…”

You couldn’t help but blush at the sudden confession. Yoongi wasn’t the kind of man to just speak his thoughts due to how reserved he was, and something must have happened during work to make him say it. The last clink of the clean plate was finally placed onto the rack signifying you were free for the whole night. You turned around to meet the man that had a face filled with adoration in fatigue.

“I missed you more, but you should really eat something and then go to sleep. You look like you’d pass out any moment.” You spoke whilst enveloping your hands on his cheeks to look at how pale he’d gotten and how dark his dark circles had become the last time you properly looked at him.

“How’re your studies coming along?” he asked, completely ignoring your signs of worries as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck.

“I go-got the highest gr-grade” you stuttered out. He knew well your neck was where you were most sensitive at, and knew well that you hated how he took advantage of that.

“Mm…” He just hummed at your word and took in a deep breath as he smelled your sweet floral scent that you always had lingering across your skin. He really did miss you. He missed your touch, your laugh, your scent. He didn’t care what you were saying, which could be a bad thing, but to him he just made small talk just to hear your voice. He’s been so busy with his work and schedules, to the point he’s been neglecting your entire existence. Not replying to your text, your calls, or even… your advances on the relationship. Yoongi was so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized that streams of tears were dropping upon your supple skin.

“Yoongi? What’s wrong? Hey…” you pulled away slightly to hold his face into your small hands. Your eyes showing nothing but worry and concern but he just gave a smile that was the epitome of confusing. It was happy, yet sad.

“I’m fine. Just relieved.” He chuckled and kissed your forehead.

“From what?” the skin on your forehead crinkled in confusion. He wasn’t being him. This wasn’t him that you were used to.

“You still being here in front of me… I just can’t help but think of things. Ya’know, since schedules have been hectic and packed, I barely got to look at you… or barely see you.” His eyes went glassy as he confessed all the pent up frustration that was all kept inside. With the simple look that he was giving you, your fingers grazed his skin ever-so-slightly in a way of comfort. It was just a simple, innocent, and sweet action to which led to Yoongi’s hands moving to your butt and pulling you up to hoist your body to sit on the counter swiftly. A gasp left your mouth but was immediately covered by a light, breathless giggle that had escaped from his sudden change in mood.

“How can you make me crave you so much by such a simple touch babe?” His voice was laced with lust and hunger. You never knew he was desperate enough for something so sweet to rile him up like this.

“Maybe it’s just because you’ve not been… healthy enough. I don’t think you’ve done ‘it’ much r-right?” You cursed under your breath as you noticed him closing the distance between you both and felt his breath against your agape lips.

“Mm baby doll, wanna nurse me back to help then?” He whispered against your lips and glanced down to them, shining ever so innocently to which fed his hunger to nothing but ravishing them. His eyes flicked back up to your eyes with nothing but desperation. “Won’t you help daddy, sweetie”

His words were more authoritative than questioning. He knew what his words were doing to you and he was taking advantage of them. Despite this being the first time to him initiating such motives, you never knew you would comply to them so easily. You smacked your lips against his and hummed softly at how they molded softly with yours, yours arms moved around his neck and wrapped them tightly to pull him closer. His hands snaked underneath your shirt as you sucked on his bottom lip. A groan rumbled against his chest as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth, his taste buds tingling at how sweet you tasted.

A whine left your mouth as he pulled away and dragged his tongue, tracing every inch of your jawline and all the way down your neck. A shudder took over your body to which your hands responded by tangling your fingers into his hair. Yoongi’s lips latched upon your collarbone and sucked harshly on the flesh, nipping gently then running his skilled tongue to soothe the skin form the painful pleasure. The warmth of his tongue meeting contact with your neck sent shivers down your spine, eliciting Goosebumps within every millimeter of skin he traced. You felt the smile that he has on every time he was on stage. The kind of smile that he knew so well that would turn you into putty and subject yourself to his sinful wishes. He loves it, and you just couldn’t help but want to obey him.

A grunt left his lips when he felt you tugged upon his hair and made him look up at you with a deadpanned look taking over his face. Your eyes widened at his reaction and you whipped your hands back to your chest. Your eyes moving down as you thought that was the wrong move.

“What did I do in my past life to deserve such an adorable yet irresistible girlfriend?” to which he responds with his next move to ripping your shorts off of your lower torso with such strength. He spread your legs wide and pushed your panties to the side, licking a long wet stripe along your slit. The action sent a shiver down your spine and a light whine left your muffled mouth.

“Looks like someone likes this” he sang with an amused chuckle trailing upon his voice. Your eyes widened and a light flush of red covered your ears and chest. You looked away and cleared your throat, trying to regain back your composure, but were interrupted when you felt coarse fingers probing your untouched hole. You couldn’t help but swiftly grip onto the edge of counter and shut your eyes tightly. Yoongi saw what was spilling out into his view and let out a sigh. He massaged your inner thighs as a way of comfort and left soft kisses as he slowly slid in a finger.

“Shh… don’t worry babygirl. I need you to get used to this feeling, you know why?” he shushed you with his soft voice and placed small, butterfly kisses along your inner thigh up to your purity. You shook your head in reply as you became a shivering wreck as he continued his administrations upon your body. “Because, it means I’ll know where to hit you just right” he spoke with a voice an octave lower than before. A small whine and a huff left your mouth as you realize you’re falling deeper into this little game of his.

“Not. Fair. Yoongi.” You whined adorably at his seductive and very tempting words. The bare image just had you experience a full body shudder, following with a wash of warmth coming over your purity.

He chuckled and left wet kisses along your hip bone and you couldn’t help but look at the scene he was displaying, but also felt a sudden rush of embarrassment come over you as you hear the light groan and curse under his breath. Signaling he had seen just how well of a good job, at making you want nothing but him.

“You’ll seriously be the death of me babe.” He grunted and looked up at you as his warm, slick tongue traced your aching core once again, but this time the tip of it seemed to make its way into your heat. That action alone could have been gone unnoticed, but with how sensitive and riled up you’ve gotten due to his sudden forwardness and desperation, you’re body reacted willingly without any thought or hesitation in your part.

He studied each and every one of your responses. Each whine, whimper, moan and even the slightest crinkle of your face. They were all signs of which signaled that he was doing things that no man was able to do to you. A sense of pride and possession started to bubble up in the pit of his stomach and bloomed its way up to his chest, meddling a path into his heart and mixing with the passionate love that had burnt and settled into his heart. Taking your reaction and relaxing walls as physical proof of your comfort, he slowly slid more of his tongue into your heat, adding a finger as company.

Your mouth betrayed you and let out a gasp that wasn’t supposed to escape.

“How’re you feeling baby?” His voice laced with worry as he slid his tongue out almost immediately, drawing a whine from your position. His chuckled resonated from his sinful mouth, leading to his short puffs of breath hit against your core that his finger was still resting in. Waiting for your approval. Your needs were heightening to great extents that had you writhing with yoongi barely doing anything to you.

“God, yoongi please just do something!” You exclaimed as the tension and need in your body was burning unbearably.

With your sudden plead, he couldn’t help but feel his member twitch in his pants at how bold you’ve gotten from the beginning of his administrations to now. As if you evolved from an innocent little girl to a lustful and daring women, the very thought that you were both of those things at the same time in one body was enticing and had him crave you more.

“Goodness babygirl, if you sound like that how can I not?” he bit his bottom lip as a way to stop the growl that was somewhat threatening to be rumbled out of his words. His single finger started to slowly move into you as he saw your body react with even the slightest movements. Studying your facial expressions he found out that you had finally gotten used the single intrusion and added another finger slowly, to his amusement you got used to the feeling almost immediately. His eyes averted from your face to glance down to your glistening core for only a second, but the moment his chocolate brown eyes made in contact of your needy core with his fingers shining in your love juice, he left out a frustrated huff and lost his sense of reasoning for a slight moment and dug his fingers in your core knuckles deep.

You let out a breathy moan and quickly held his wrist as a stop motion, bending your body towards him where you were cheek on cheek with your lover. The sudden action had Yoongi widening his eyes in shock, fear running in his veins at the thought of him hurting you at your first time. But his fear was replaced with desire the moment he heard your shaky voice, whispering out as if you were fucked out.


He saw your ears turning a shade of red from embarrassment. He slid in another finger and held your chin in place, facing him. Yoongi had never realized how much of a sucker you are for pleasure. He was not aware that he was able to get you to shiver in pleasure with nothing but his fingers only knuckles deep in your core. He had always wanted to make love with you, of course he fantasized about both of you in bed, but he wondered about your reactions. Now he got to see a sneak peek of what your nature is in bed.

Three of his fingers started to tantalizingly move into you hitting you in such a way that had you seeing small stars yet still want more. Yoongi curved his fingers up as he pulled his fingers half-way out and slammed them in, hitting those bundle of nerves that had your legs shaking. He felt the reaction he received from his administrations and smirked as he saw your eyes slowly roll back as he continued for another few thrusts.

“Shh, no no baby girl. Look at me; crave me with your eyes. I want to see how fucked you’ll look like with just my fingers” He slurred as he bit his tongue that was peeking out of his pink lips.

You forced your eyes to look him dead in the eyes and whined as he picked up his pace with his fingers, repetitively hitting the spot that had your legs shaking. Your face scrunched up in pleasure that was sandwiched with  pain, your neck turning a shade of red from the pants that your body was forcing out to get the oxygen you were lacking in. You felt Yoongi place his thumb upon the nub and rub furiously leading to a few squirts of your love juices, coating his arm and your inner thighs.

Yoongi was thrilled seeing you coming undone upon his fingers and your expression as the ending of the show. He slowly slid his fingers out and licked his fingers clean as he saw you blush slightly at the sight before turning limp against his body, out cold almost a few seconds after. He wrapped your arms gently around him, as he snaked his arms under your thighs and carried you to your shared bedroom leaving behind the mess that both he and you had made. Placing your body softly against the mattress and sitting on the other side after heading into the bathroom to take a hot shower, along with finishing himself off with the images of you flashing in his mind. He came back into the room with a warm, wet towel to clean your sweaty body off and the remnants of your climax. He dumped the towel in the laundry basket and head into the same bed, facing you and your peacefully sleeping face.

“I love you with all my soul. Let’s take things slow, just for you baby girl” He pecked your temple lightly and snuggled closer into your warm body. Having the best sleep he’s head for a while with the girl of his dreams in his arms and his mind.

Cursed (Beauty and the Beast Jimin Au): Part 1

Request:  Hey love can i request a jimin angst inspired by the disney beauty and the beast? Where love magically makes him become more and more human? Thanks!🌼

A/N: There will be another part to this! I finally got motivation for this one and I hope this is ok. I didn’t do the whole Beast thing because idk i dont like that but I did it more like the movie Beastly than anything tbh. Hope this is good!

Originally posted by suntaes

Running up the stairs it was a wonder that he didn’t trip on a single step. His face burned. His whole body burned. He’d never felt anything like it and he was scared. Finally getting to his bathroom he shoved the door open and violently hit the light switch so he could see. Afraid to see what he looked like, there was reason all of this was happening to him.

 Many would say Jimin had it coming. Although he was beautiful on the outside, he was hideous on the inside. He made people’s skin crawl with the things he would say. Thinking he was entitled because he was rich and beautiful. Nothing could touch him. Not until that night.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hiii !!!can you make one of those posts that come in topics (idk how to explain OMG) about how would it be to date Hoshi and you are a really hardcore Shawol like he is(maybe more hehe)?I'm sorry this is not very clear but how things would be, like would he freak out with you when Taemin is doing a comeback? And stuff like this

Hi, and so sorry it took us a million years to do this! Hope you like it ;u; 💕I tried

  • you’d honestly probably meet at a Shinee concert
  • like, you’d be queuing for merch and he’d be standing behind you, but you don’t really notice him before you’ve gotten your merch, including each member’s poster, and hear an upset “Ah, Taemin’s poster just got sold out? Well, then…”
  • you look at the pile of posters you’re carrying and get closer to the guy, who looks at you with a quirked eyebrow as he’s still trying to figure out what to buy instead
  • “I can sell you Taemin’s poster,” you offer and laugh a little when his face lights up, and he makes sure you’re serious before just settling for some of the photo sets and other merchandise
  • while he gets you the money for the poster, you talk about Shinee and find out your seats are next to each other
  • and that if anything is what eventually leads to the two of you getting closer
  • there’s just something about listening to and watching Shinee perform Close the door, wave your light sticks slowly along to it and accidentally bump your hand into his
  • when that happens, both of you just smile at each other, but there’s also a jolt of electricity running through your bodies
  • and when the concert is over and you’re both already missing Shinee, he casually asks you, “When will we see again?”
  • his question would be sudden and you’d be surprised for a while, but eventually gather yourself enough to give him a date and you exchange numbers and all that
  • you only realize at home that he was, in fact, Kwon Soonyoung of Seventeen, and not just your casual Shinee fanboy
  • you’ve just realized that when your phone buzzes with a message
  • ‘I’m Kwon Soonyoung `u´ I look forward to talking more about Shinee with you!!’
  • after that you get a photo of the Taemin poster you had been kind enough to sell him, already put on the wall
  • ‘Oh, and thank you for this. I’ll treat you out for coffee for this!!’
  • you insist that it’s fine since he already paid for the poster, but he refuses to give up, and eventually you go out for coffee
  • and a few days later for another coffee
  • and then some dinner, lunch, and so on, and before long you both hold warm feelings towards each other
  • neither of you would forget the day you became an official couple
  • you were at a café and Shinee’s View was playing, and somewhere near the middle you were both just lost staring into each other’s eyes with small smiles playing on your lips
  • “Do you want to go out with me?”
  • you’d ask the question at the exact same time and burst out into laughter right afterwards
  • “I guess that answers the question,” you’d laugh, and Soonyoung agrees with a happy smile and slowly reaches for your hand
  • NOW to the present
  • dating Soonyoung in general would be a whole lot of fun, and when you add to that that the two of you are Shawols… it only gets more fun
  • you’d always try to go to concerts together, and whenever a new song comes out, you’re both very excited and spam each other about your feelings without a second thought
  • and that’s okay because you’re both so excited
  • there’d be lots of cuddles and having his arms around you, especially when you’re both relaxing
  • besides Carats and the other members, he’d get a lot of his strength and motivation from you, and would always feel a sense of healing whenever he’s with you
  • you’d also be one of the reasons he wants to be as cool as possible on stage, because he knows you’ll see it
  • like both in general he’d love taking photos with you, like the type that you see in cute moodboards and all, of you cuddling and doing things together
  • but also cute couple pics of you being the Shawols you are, holding your light sticks or albums etc when it’s near comeback/concert time
  • (great Shawol selca day material)
  • also lots of teasing
  • you know the loving kind where he’d poke your cheek or vice versa and tease you about something
  • somehow it almost always ends with cute, small kisses and both of you laughing
  • and jokes
  • you’d never get bored with him
  • some of that might be because due to his idol career you don’t exactly get to spend so much time together that you’d grow tired of each other
  • instead, the two of you value any and all time that you can spend together and keep in touch through your phones etc
  • but even so, he’s just very fun to be around and you play a big role in that, too
  • the first time he’d tell you he loves you would be during a Shinee-themed sleepover that you’ve spent just enjoying each other’s company, watching their concert DVDs and all that, and somewhere in the middle he just looks at you warmly and says, “I love you.”
  • when you turn to look at him he blushes and averts his gaze with a soft chuckle and mumbles, “I just wanted to put that out there.”
  • your heart would flutter because you’d felt that way for a while, too
  • also good morning and good night texts are a must
  • even if you’d have just had a disagreement, you’d be certain to get a “good night baby, I love you” message 
  • especially during promotion periods when you can barely see at all, Soonyoung would occasionally give you a surprise video call
  • as soon as you answer it, you’re met with his pouty face, and pretty close, too
  • “I missed you,” he mumbles, and when you smile at him, his pout turns into a smile, too
  • you’d talk for a while, about whatever comes to your minds, and eventually wish each other a good night
  • and since both of you are Shawols
  • all the inside jokes related to Shinee
  • and inside jokes in general, really - most Seventeen members feel like third wheels around the two of you, but you can’t help it, you just match that well
  • chances are you’d occasionally also dance together, try out some new moves and even come up with some for Seventeen
  • and when you both run out of inspiration…
  • “Wanna dance to Ring ding dong?”
  • “…Why not.”
  • so you do, and as always, it’s amazing and the two of you have a lot of fun
  • and eventually end up kissing against the mirror, both of you giggling
  • speaking of kisses, his would often be playful
  • as in, he’d love to just give you a light, quick kiss that leaves you wanting for more, which you’re unable to hide, and then kiss you properly, again and again
  • okay okay if you were both in a rush he wouldn’t do that and instead you’d get like one kiss worth of at least five kisses that never fails to make your heart flutter
  • other times he’d be very passionate and boy would those times be hot
  • also highkey the type to be making out with you and suddenly blurt out something like
  • “I’m going to marry you one day.”
  • or something of that kind
  • like if it’s not about how he wants to have enough children to form a soccer team, he definitely wants to let you know that he has high hopes for the two of you, as exaggeratedly as he puts it
  • and in case it seems too much for you he’ll always make sure that you understand that he’s not that serious
  • like he won’t push that kinds of commitment and seriousness onto your relationship if you don’t want to, or at least until you want to, but he does have hopes
  • …plus honestly in a lot of cases it’d be mostly just talk
  • but imagine him saying that he plans on marrying you, and when you just frown because it doesn’t seem like anything you want to do during the next xx years, he laughs and cups your cheeks
  • “I’m half-joking, Y/N, don’t look so troubled. Let’s go at our own pace and see where we end up, yeah?”
  • and so you’re good again
  • as often as possible, Soonyoung would love to go out with you, although he’d always have to disguise himself to a point
  • but it doesn’t bother you too much, not if that means you get to go to a restaurant with him or go to an amusement park together
  • not to forget that if there is Shinee, there will be you and Soonyoung
  • you’d always look forward to their comebacks together, and quite likely even do your best to watch their music videos etc as soon as they’re out and freak out together
  • some of the other members would probably join you, too, but a lot of them would just raise their eyebrows and be confused while the two of you watch Shinee’s, Taemin’s or Jonghyun’s newest music video 
  • “He looks so cool!!”
  • “Look at those dance moves! I’m getting chills!”
  • “I know! This is so good!”
  • …and if the others are ever wondering when any of the aforementioned have a comeback coming up, they realize that if one was, they would know
  • because whenever there’s news that they’d have a comeback, Soonyoung would dash to the nearest member and exclaim
  • “They’re having a comeback next month!!”
  • and you’d both gush about it all the way until the comeback happened, and even afterwards you’d keep up with the promotions as well as you could
  • the day he co-emceed with Key would’ve been a great day for him but also for you lmao 
  • you’d snuggle him the next time you saw each other and just mumble “You met Key… how amazing.”
  • he’d laugh and be very proud for a while, probably even boast about how amazing it was, but then…
  • “…It was so scary let me tell you, he’s just so cool.”
  • and you can only imagine - if Key looked cool on stage, you could only imagine what he must’ve been like when you’re right next to him
  • in short, you’d have a loving boyfriend, a best friend and a fellow Shawol in one package and it couldn’t get better than that
  • naturally it’s not always just smooth sailing, but it would be a happy, healthy relationship
  • and although it should be a given, some of your sweetest words to each other would be
  • “I love you more than I love Shinee.”

Admin Scooter


For this year’s FFVII Fanworks Exchange - my gift for @chofitia. Hope you like it Chofi! I actually have something else planned… something else much larger… but since that particular something else prob won’t be done until like, idk, NEXT YEAR or something, this will have to do in the meantime.

FFVII meets Pacific Rim, with a heavy dose of NGE.


Tifa and Cloud - invincible copilots of the Jaeger Ultima Fist, Midgar’s finest creation - had been with the Program since its inception, having joined shortly after watching their hometown being decimated to rubble by one of the earliest Category III monsters to rise out of the sea. It seemed, for a while, that surely no Kaiju could endanger the world while they were leading the fight…until the first Category IV hit landfall around Junon.

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anonymous asked:

Headcanons for Namjoon who lives in the vents of a local office building: - he is exactly 102 feet long - falls in love with a person who works there (the reader) - slithers through the vents to get around - the spider man kiss (do what you will with this) - they end up living in the vents together


  • Aight so stretchy!Namjoon was born with a special condition
  • He freaking stretches as he grows
  • And shit, once he was 6 years old and the size of a full grown giraffe, the adults started getting concerned
  • Y’already know they started looking up some voodoo shit once his classmates started complaining that his height got in the way of class picture day
  • He has to bend and contort himself to fit into the picture and by this point, his torso can bend around the length of the entire classroom thrice
  • So yeah, not fun
  • Eventually his peers start regarding him as a menace to society
  • or whatever
  • And his parents complain that there’s no place to find XXXXXXXXXXL clothes anymore
  • Custom-clothes-fitting is damn expensive
  • And Namjoon’s so freaking clumsy, every time he trips over his own feet he ends up taking out half the block and there’s a new crater in the road
  • Airplanes start crashing not because he gets in the way but because the pilots are distracted as to why his head is normal sized when the rest of his torso is so…
  • l o n g
  • It’s not even just Airplanes, the whole of Seoul is in pieces
  • So of course Namjoon does what he thinks is the heroic thing and disappears into oblivion
  • Nobody’s really that concerned
  • Like aside from his parents, who are super concerned because let’s face it, Namjoon can’t survive on his own
  • But he’s 102 feet long now, and though sometimes he’s able to contort and twist himself down, for the most part it’s fvcking complicated
  • Namjoon hasn’t slept in a bed for years
  • So yeah, that’s how Namjoon ends up in the vents
  • For a while, people are kinda concerned about how the vents seem to move and how there’s always loud exclamations coming from them
  • One guy swears he hears “OW, MY HEAD!” a few times in quick succession but like maybe’s he’s just had too much to drink 
  • Or he needs more sleep
  • Anyhow, you’re just average run-of-the-mill office worker
  • You just moved to Seoul from your small town
  • Big hopes and dreams motivated by your parents’ desires and pressures (so really, it’s just their hopes and dreams) 
  • But for now you have to take it slow
  • That whole 9 to 5
  • And you seem to be the only one who’s actually fvckING CONCERNED 
  • You decide to go all Sherlock Holmes with this shit
  • You stay back one day just to “finish up some work”
  • But you have like a bat and you’re prepared to rip the vents apart
  • Imagine your surprise when you open up the vents (don’t ask how you just do) tO FIND A FREAKING MANWORM
  • You start knocking the crap out of him with your bat
  • And he’s trying to stop you by screaming out that he’s harmless
  • But you’ve seen the horror movies, you ain’t stopping for shit
  • A long slinky arm sneaks out of the vents, pulling away the bat while you just stare in horror
  • You start flipping out because–
  • Well you already freaking know why
  • But all of a sudden his weird ass snake arm covers your mouth to shut you up and then you REALLY start working up a fuss
  • This is not how you are going to go, nuh-uh
  • Wormboy is strong enough (with what muscle, you wonder) and pulls you into the vent
  • You try biting him but he doesn’t budge and the two of you are left in the awkwardly tight space
  • When he finally lets go, he gives you a glare
  • “Can you ever shut up? You could have busted me.”
  • The vent is dark but you hope he can still make out the features of utter disdain on your face.
  • “I’d knee you so hard down there if I could just freaking reach it,” you give a pause, squinting down and trying to see where exactly that would be, “hey, how long are you?”
  • “102 feet.”
  • “holy shit.”
  • He wiggles his eyebrows at you and you’re like k I’m out byE sweaty
  • And that’s the start of an unlikely friendship?? Like eventually you are just sneaking food into the vents.
  • One of your coworkers clearly sees at one point
  • But he has a report that he needs to get in to the boss
  • And again, maybe he’s just had too much to drink. he doesn’t even drink but that’s irrelevant
  • And needless to say, the two of you start to catch feelings for each other
  • Because idk taboo relationships and working around the impossible and all that
  • And you start spending a lot more time in the vent
  • He shows you how he gets around, and it involves a lot of gross body twisting and you’re glad it’s dark in the vents because you’re sure it’s not the prettiest sight
  • It’s actually pretty cozy and Namjoon somehow manages to scavenge all of the essentials to make a living for himself
  • When you fall asleep one day against his snakey figure, you realize how livable it actually is and you think it might be nice to stay a little longer
  • And whenever you’re with Namjoon you forget about your obligations and he forgets about his condition
  • One day as you crawl out of the events, your shirt gets stuck and you are forced to crawl out in the opposite direction
  • It just works like that okay don’t question it
  • And as you crawl out, you have to squeeze by his head with your own and you’re in an awkward position and you can just feel his breath on your face and he smells like those candy canes you snuck in earlier 
  • Next thing you know, the both of you are tilting your heads ever so slightly so that your lips meet, and it’s kinda like the spiderman kiss except you’re the one with your body half dangling out of a vent but you guys keep going
  • And once you split, you’re s o e m b a r r a s s e d but he thinks it’s kinda cute
  • You slip out quite quickly, and to your surprise that one coworker is just watching you from his desk, sipping his cup of tea and looking on in mild amusement
  • Wonwoo is his name, if you recall correctly
  • You lift a finger to your mouth to tell him to keep quiet
  • He just shrugs so you figure you’re pretty safe
  • You and Wormboy continue your budding relationship
  • More kisses and more vent sneaking
  • And Wonwoo has suddenly become your best friend because he’s the only one who knows
  • Namjoon’s a lil jealous but you’re like nothing will ever compare to your snakey torso and he’s calm again
  • forgive me i have sinned
  • He highkey just doesn’t give a shit, and you’re starting to annoy him
  • “Why don’t you just move in with the guy?” You’re eating with lunch with him when he quips this sarcastically
  • LITTLE DOES HE KNOW, you’re a pretty literal person
  • How bad would it really be? The vents are cozy and for once you would be doing something for yourself
  • Your whole life you’ve been following your parents’ orders, it’s the whole reason why you’re in Seoul
  • And when you look thoughtful of the suggestion, Wonwoo wonders how he can get as far away as possible from you
  • Because obviously you’re insane
  • Namjoon thinks the same
  • Who would willingly want to move in to the vents with him?
  • Apparently you, and you’re too headstrong for him to really argue so he gives in relatively easily
  • so yeah, that’s how the two of you end up living together in the vents
  • wormboy and his human
  • k i’m out


My first curse!! (On the grounds that somebody messed with the wrong sea witch!)

A nice, (relatively) simple knot magic curse to deter somebody from either yourself, a loved one, or anything really; (could be used for property or pets if you like.)

You will need:

For poppet/s:

🔪 Some fabric
🔪 a needle and thread
🔪 something to stuff your poppet with
🔪some paper and something to write with
🔪stones (preferably from the ocean, but any will do; you can even bathe them in salt water prior to cursing.)
🔪a marker

For the “bite” potion:

🔪sea salt
🔪 chilli, cayenne pepper, or a similar substance for “bite”
🔪 (OPTIONAL) blood for association with sharks (please, please, please be safe and hygienic when working with blood, you guys!)

Additional supplies:

🔪thread or twine
🔪anything related to your target (e.g. Crystals or herbs) that may be placed inside the poppet.


🔪Step one: make the template for your poppet:

For the purposes of this little tutorial, I’m going to create a humanoid poppet, but this is in no way necessary. (Your poppet can look like anything! Just as long as it relates to your target.) As for the fabric, I used navy blue for a combination of reasons. Firstly, for the association of blue with water magic, and secondly for the association of dark colours with banishing and removal of negativity. Before you even get to the fabric though, I’d trace out my design on a piece of paper.

(Note: it’s also important to make sure that your poppet has long arms and legs! You’ll see why in a moment.)

🔪step two: make your poppet

Trace your template onto your fabric with a marker. (Note: if you’re using dark fabric like me, this can get a little tricky! You may want to try simply pinning the template to the fabric instead.) Repeat this process until you have two little fabric outlines. The next step is to cut them out. Following this, begin stitching your two pieces together while visualising your target. (Remember to leave a hole for the stuffing!) Next, stuff the little guy up, add any corresponding items, write the target’s name on a piece of paper, place that inside of your poppet and finally move on to adding your rocks. Personally, I added two rocks to my poppet, as the number two is said to represent division and separation. When you add your rocks, imagine a feeling of heaviness flowing into the poppet.
With each stone that you place inside of its body, imagine a “sinking feeling” accumulating within the cloth; a feeling of being weighted down underwater; unable to surface. When you feel as though your poppet is sufficiently “weighted down” stitch up the opening and speak the following incantation:

- May the water hold you down, hold you still, hold your tongue. May it keep you far from (name) May the darkness watch over you, keep you down, keep you under. May you never taste the light above. May you never have (name)

🔪step three: binding

Take your twine and bind the poppet’s eyes (eye area.) As you do so, speak the following incantation:

- With this knot, I take your eyes, may your sight of (name) be naught but the blackness of the depths.

Next, bind the poppet’s hands (the reason for the long arms XD) and speak:

- With this knot, I take your hands. May your hold on (name) be as fickle as grasping for the tides.

Bind its legs, saying:

- With this knot, I take your legs. May you be bound to the water. May (name) be the shore.

And finally, if you’re dealing with a serial creeper like me, bind its um… private area and speak:

- With this knot, I take your loins may your passions grow colder than the sunless deep.

🔪Step four: make the potion

Mix your ingredients together, stir the solution clockwise and prepare your intent. This is the step where you will begin to set out exactly how your target will feel the potion’s “bite.” For my potion, I “programmed” (programmed?) the solution to create a strong feeling of inaccessibility whenever my target thinks about the person that I’m trying to protect.

This potion’s association with sharks really helped me to envision how one would feel when facing dangerous, shark-infested (I hate that phrase!) waters. I wanted my target to feel as though something ill would come of them if they tried to get close to my loved one. That being said, however, if you want your target to feel physical pain, then you can visualise a shark’s teeth tearing through your target’s flesh and creating a strong, searing sensation as you mix the potion.

(Either way, this potion will serve as a “warning bite” for your target)

🔪step five: apply the potion to the poppet

The simplest step. Apply as much or as little of the bite potion as you wish. The areas that you apply the potion will also have their own individual effects:

- Head: the target will experience a mental “bite;” a sudden, unexplained thought, prompting them to stay away.

- Stomach or heart: the target will experience a “gut feeling” telling them to steer clear of whatever you’re trying to protect

- Finally, my personal favourite: if you just so happen to be dealing with a sexually motivated target like myself, then you can, um… hit em where it hurts 😈

And that’s it! I hope this curse works out for you as well as it did for me. I made it during the sturgeon moon, so perhaps it had that little extra bit of fishy magic, idk…

If you feel as though your target is growing more confident as time goes on, just tighten their bonds or apply more potion. :)

Housemates!NCT Part 7

Your university runs out of dorm space, forcing you to find a last minute living arrangement with some international students. In other words, you’re basically screwed.

Warnings: alcohol, drugs, sex, profanity

Word Count: 1,598

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Also check out my College! thing too to help you tide yourselves over as i’m a shit head :)

College!Jaehyun | Ten

LOL so I was reading some tags for the last part of this and lol this one person said something like there’s too much profanity in here and i honestly i was LMAO U RITE and honestly that’s this next chapter’s done.

 (btw im not calling you out, don’t worry, i honestly started cracking up when i saw it and i didn’t take it personally or anything <3 <3 <3 )

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Maca Root

Okay I’m finally getting to this post. Quick background info. So I’m the type of person that when I hear about something Idk about I Google the hell out of it. It can be anything & that’s my go to reaction. So I heard about maca when I was on Twitter a little less than a yr ago. Some girl said the only time she gained easily (apparently a total of 10lbs) she was on maca root. So naturally I went to Google & spent forever researching it, probably reading every thread that mentioned maca & weight gain. I was sold, because it mentioned a lot of great benefits that went beyond weight gain. Then I stumbled upon a thread bringing up birth control, advising those who are on BC to reconsider taking maca. Cause here’s the thing, it’s an adaptogen. So when you take it it basically determines what your body needs to be balanced & “encourages” that aspect of your body to get you where it needs to be. It’s a superfood, an all natural goody that isn’t full of hormones or anything. So I had been on birth control for over 3 yrs & am not the type to go against what seems to be legit advice. B.C pumps you full of artificial hormones & this maca would basically be telling your body to work against it. So it seemed pointless to me to take it if I was on BC. Then I found forums (which I had seen before, but didn’t care for) talking about how bad BC was for you. I started thinking of all the weird health symptoms I had & started making connections. I went & bought maca the next day & stopped taking BC. I went on this tangent because its important. If you’re on BC take this into consideration. I was taking it for no babies & keeping my periods regular. But I know some take it for reasons beyond that, so talk to your doctor before taking maca if you’re not willing to stop BC. Tying into that maca is said to increase fertility, so if you stop taking the BC then I hope your mans pull out game is strong or you use protection. Otherwise don’t come in my inbox talkin bout you’re expecting cause I warned you lol. I found plenty of threads with women saying they took maca for the sole intent of wanting a baby & what do you know they got pregnant; women who had been trying for awhile but had no luck all of a sudden were bringing little souls into the world. So yeah, better make sure that pull out game is real strong. Oh & the kicker…maca boosts the libido. It’s like mother nature wants you to have more sex while simultaneously increasing your fertility. Maca is supposed to regulate body temperature as well, keeping you naturally cool or warm for whatever weather. I haven’t really seen this for me, but I never took it long enough to come to any conclusions. It also gives you a clean, natural energy. The first time I took it I was wired. Problem was I took it at night so I was up til 3 in the morning motivated as hell lol. So take that into consideration. However I will say I took it late last night & wasn’t wired. So it may have only been a one time deal for me. But still take it in the morning just in case. Maca also helps with pms symptoms, pcos & menopause. I had my mom take it but she never kept up w/ it & my best friend was starting a new BC so I never got her to take it for her pcos. But there’s plenty of forums on that too, so research. Alright now that all those little things are out the way let’s talk weight gain. So it’s claimed that maca will distribute your weight to your thighs & butt keeping your stomach flat. I can’t speak on that whole stomach thing, as I won’t say anything on it with my workouts cause of my genetics. But the butt thing I can talk about. Apparently maca is used by some body builders as an alternative to steroids, because it helps build the muscles quicker. For men this is more probable because of their high levels of testosterone. Now women still benefit of course, but apparently it naturally targets the butt, thighs, & hips for women. I think the reasoning comes from estrogen & for those who were intitially experiencing unbalanced hormones were now coming into balance; i.e me. So yes my butt got bigger. By how much idk. The first time I took it was last November/December before I got back into working out. Your results will be better when you take this stuff & actually do workouts targeting those muscles. I’ve been on it for 2 weeks & I swear my ass feels heavier. I take measurements Monday so ill let you know then. I saw on forums that women claimed it initially gave them a “shelf like” appearance & then proceeded to fill them out. So does it make the butt bigger…so far I can say yes. Is it gonna do that by itself…maybe to an extent, but by working out you’ll have better results. I love this stuff, beyond the weight gaining aspects. But I do believe it helps with muscle growth & recovery. I’d say consult a doctor first, but I didn’t. Had I wanted to stay on BC I would have though. Now lets talk types & dosage. They sell maca in pill & powder form. I’ve tried both & like the powder form. They sell it raw & gelatanized. Go for the gelatinized version. Its more concentrated & better for your digestive system; I’ve heard the raw version will put your system through it. Dosage. Lots of forums & sites say don’t take it everyday. Either do 5 days on & 2 off or 3 weeks on & 1 week off. I take it 5 times a week. Mixed in with my protein shake, taking my breaks on the weekend when I’m not working out. Like I said earlier it’s a superfood, so overdosing is probably unlikely. However don’t overdo it cause you’ll get jittery & might experience headaches. I take close to 2 tsp, but I started at 1 & after about a week went up to 2. Idk how this stuff tastes in other things but it gives my shake a nutty taste. Again I really love this stuff. Maca root grows up high in the mountains of Peru & apparently Aztecs used it, men taking it for battles & shit and women for fertility or somethin. Either way I’ve seen lots of good things on it. Obviously you need to do your own research but this is just a quick rundown on it. One other thing I noticed that I’ve spent time googling but couldn’t find. I’ll get these random, isolated sharp/burning sensation in my butt. So for instance, one time my left cheek had an area, maybe less than an inch, that had the sensation. It didn’t last long but it happened a couple more times in the days that followed. I noticed this the first time I took it so it’s definitely maca related. What it means…my guess is growing pains. But again I saw no mention of it in forums, so maybe its just me lol. Anyways that’s about it. I do notice an increase in muscle growth with the bonus of balanced hormones, energy, increased sex drive, & better recovery. I honestly feel more like me when I’m on it. Having unbalanced hormones was no fun. So yeah, definitely good stuff just make sure you do proper research & order from a legit company. Hope this helped! I don’t think I left anything important out, but if so I’ll let y'all know

Sweet Slumber [Oneshot]

Pairing : Victuri / Victori / Vikturi (?? yall omg) [Yuri!!! on ICE]
Genre : Friendship(?), Fluff, Romance, Humor
Rating : G
Words : 2,445

A/n: i wrote a victuri fic in 3 hours i am both terrified and satisfied. Like i literally havent been writing fanfics in a YEAR and then all of a sudden, a few days before my national exams start, BAM here i am with the gay. Either way, idk if my followers here even know this account exist anymore, so i’ll reblog this to my main account! Enjoy! (i miss saying this omg)

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I Was Already Addicted To You - Kai (Part 4)

Originally posted by illegalkai

A/N: Yay! Finally I got to write this :) I’m sorrry for taking like weeks but it’s here, I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it, (so close to 2K OMG!)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

You woke up. Again. You weren’t able to sleep for more than 2 hours that night, you’d always wake up from nightmares of your family getting killed and you not being able to save them. You looked over at the clock. 8:55 AM. Great, the last time you woke up it was 7:30 AM, and the previous times weren’t that different, you eventually gave up on sleeping, as much as you nedded it, and decided to fully wake up, you got some clothes on and got down to the hotel lobby, maybe to get some breakfast, or try to forget about stuff a little.

Just as you spotted a delicious breakfast ahead, you heard a familiar, yet not bad, voice behind you, “someone’s up early”, you turn around to Kai “yeah, I couldn’t really sleep tonight without dreaming about my family getting killed by a man that’s shorter than me”, “it’s a pity you didn’t get to rest, we’ll have a full day today”, “It can’t be more overwhelming than yesterday”, he smiled and said, “that depends on your point of view”, “what do you mean?”, “You’ll understand later, let’s eat something, no?”

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so i hear a lot of people talking about how this current arc reeks of the “”“destined hero”“” trope, which goes against a lot of what gintama has been in the past. and while i see where that’s coming from… idk, i feel like this arc has the potential to be just as subversive as the rest of the series.

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Chapter 2 of my terrible gem au. Special thanks to oh-may-god for betaing this chapter for me you can fin here AO3 here. I didn’t intend on bringing Sousuke into the story so early but I was inspired! 

Chapter title:  The Crack

Relationship: Haruka Nanase/Makoto Tachibana

Words: 3,798


Two weeks have passed since Haru locked himself in his room. Makoto’s been sitting outside his room in hope of him coming out but he doesn’t. Makoto sighs heavily for the umpteenth time as he looks up at the shell covered door separating him and his once best friend. Soon, he hears the front door open and sees Sousuke walk in.

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“Three bullets. We’re in the middle of the city. He was stealing our weapons. Did you think I was gonna kill him? I was aiming for his leg. Could that have killed him? Maybe. I don’t know, but he was stealing our weapons.”

“I don’t want you to die. I don’t want Beth to die. I don’t want anybody at the church to die, but I can’t stand around and watch it happen either. I can’t. That’s why I left. I just had to be somewhere else.”

“You’re not who you were and neither am I. I don’t know if I believe in God anymore or heaven, but if I’m going to hell, I’m making damn sure I’m holding it off as long as I can.”

I want to talk for a minute about the above almost-monologue (yes, she’s briefly interrupted by Daryl, but this is still a whole lot of words coming from a woman who almost always uses them economically) from Carol in ‘Consumed,’ because it’s Carol week and by a tiny edge, 'Consumed’ probably wins the slot of favorite Carol episode for me. (Like seriously, that’s such a hard question, because of my top three faves, I adore them all for different reasons.) 

I know almost everyone is doing graphics, but I only do words, so behind the read more we go!

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Tryna Get to You (PART 10)

(A/N): hi guys I just finished this part like 30 minutes ago. Sorry if it sucks. Finals are coming up and I have hugeeee writers block due to studying and work. Anyways, like always I LOVEEEEE feedback so please tell me which way you want this story to go and let me know if you love it, like it, or dislike it. I love every single one of you thank you so much for reading xx

Despite waking up at 9:30 on a Saturday, you feel more refreshed than ever after your week of early mornings. After a quick shower, blow dry, and some mousse your hair is ready to go. You end up putting on only mascara because you’re feeling a little lazy. You look at the clock and realize you better get dressed quickly because Nash told you they were leaving at 11 and you wanted to be downstairs to surprise them. The butterflies in your stomach start dancing again. Would things be the same? Especially after last night…? You shake your head quickly to stop daydreaming and grab your lulus, white vans, and a tie dye sweatshirt. With your hair down and slightly curly (because of the mousse) and the casual outfit you have on, you know you might stand out from the other girls there. Most of them are gonna be dressed up with hella make up on, you laugh to yourself and brush your teeth.

The butterflies are the only thing in your stomach as you descend down the elevator, you know you can’t eat anything. You’re too nervous.

Once in the lobby Becky pulls you over and asks you all about how your date was. You love that she’s sort of the mother figure that worries and checks on you and you happily oblige in telling her how fantastic your night was. Then you go sit in the ever familiar chair that you always wait in, and count the minutes until they emerge from the doors.


“GUYS come on!” Cam yells as he walks down the hallway, banging on every MagCon door that he passes. Soon they all convene in the hallway and he checks to make sure everyone has their pass hanging around their neck. “Let’s say bye to (Y/N)!” Gilinsky suggests and the guys all laugh and crowd around your door. Nash knocks and Johnson says in a high pitched voice, “rooooom serviceeeee.” The group tries to contain their giggles and wait for the door to open. A minute passes and nothing happens. Nash knocks again. Once again, nothing. “Maybe she’s working out or she went to breakfast or something?” Matt says, “either way, we need to get going. Bart is gonna be pissed if we are late again.” Nash can’t help the disappointment that overwhelms him as they all walk away. He wanted you to open the door with your bed head and that cute pissed off expression you get when you’re annoyed. He can’t shake his disappointment as they all board the elevator and begins losing his motivation to go get crazy at MagCon. As the elevator bings he takes a deep breath. Suck it up Grier, he thinks and steps off the elevator.

You watch them all emerge and wait for the familiar tall brunette boy to walk off. Your heart skips a beat and then you quickly recover as Hayes spots you and runs over. “We just knocked on your door what are you doing down here?” He exclaims.

You laugh and start walking out of the hotel, motioning behind you for them to come with. “Come on we don’t want to be late!” You say over your shoulder as the boys realize that you’re coming with them. Nash can’t stop a huge smile from coming across his face. She’s coming.

45 minutes later you’re all escorted into the venue and the boys begin doing their sound check stuff that you have no interest in. You decide to walk around and check out the meet and greet areas and where the fans would be standing for the “performance.” It’s weird to think that in 2 hours this area will be packed with screaming fans and the smell of sharpies. Some of the event coordinators brush past you as they supervise the set up of the tables and banners. “Wow I didn’t realize this was actually such a big deal,” you mumble to yourself, “and I’ve been hanging out with them this past week without realizing actually how famous they are.”

A hand rests on your shoulder and you turn around quickly, surprised. “Miss we need you to go back outside. Fans aren’t allowed in for sound check.” A security guard says.

“No I’m not a fan I’m here with the boys!” You say after a moment of staring at him with your mouth open. You’re more than a little offended.

“Miss I’m serious we need you to leave.” He says sternly and pouts towards the door.

“I have a pass hanging around my neck I’m with the boys!!!” You say louder, getting frustrated. All of a sudden you see Cam trotting over to you.

“Ugh thank god he can vouch for me!” You glare at the security guard.

“Is she with you?” The guard asks Cam skeptically.

“Yeah she’s with us she gets all access to everything. Backstage, VIP, wherever she wants to go she’s allowed.” Cam puts his arm around your shoulder and you gratefully wrap your arm around his waist.

The security guard stares at you for a minute longer and then shrugs and walks away. You look up at Cam as you both start walking back to the sound check area, “Thanks for saving me. I would have had to stand outside for the next two hours if you hadn’t come along when you did.”

He smiles down at you and replies, “I can’t have my lady kicked out of the show now can I?”

You blush, look down at the floor and laugh. You knew it would bother Nash that Cam is calling you “his lady” but you’re only here for a week more so why worry about it? Everything isn’t so simple in the daylight. It’s so easy to get lost in the stars when it’s just you, him, and the roof.

“Cam.” You say quietly as you both walk back to the stage.


“Wanna come to the beach tomorrow? Invite everyone! We can have a rematch of beach volleyball and you guys can unwind after the show today?” You’re a little hesitant including him in the plans that Nash thought were a date, but you also feel bad for turning Cam down last night even though there wasn’t anything you could do.

“That sounds fun!” He exclaims, “It’s supposed to be 85 tomorrow too which means I’m throwing you in the ocean…..”

You laugh and say, “If you do I’m never talking to you again.”

Your conversation is interrupted by Johnson running up to both of you and linking his arm through your free one. “Lunch time lovebirds!” He laughs at you two. You blush and deny the statement but Cam just laughs and looks away. The three of you proceed into the dining area laughing and talking about the show that day.

When you get to the buffet you get in line behind Nash and say hi.

“Where were you?” He asks as he loads up his plate with everything possible.

“I was exploring and then I almost got kicked out and Cam saved me.” You say as you realize how hungry you actually are after skipping breakfast and start loading up your plate.

“Oh.” Nash says and walks away to go sit at a table with Matt and Carter.

You stare after him, surprised at the cold shoulder he just gave you and then brush it off. If he’s gonna be an ass I don’t have to deal with it.

You decide to go sit with Cam because he’s actually being nice to you. The Jacks end up joining you and the four of you have an entertaining lunch full of laughs. You notice Nash looking over at you every once in a while but you don’t pay him any attention. 20 minutes later the boys have to go finish sound check and you’re left alone backstage.

You pull out your phone and see you have a text from Alex. What the fuck. You think, confused, because last time you two talked he was kind of an ass.

Hey (Y/N/N) miss you.

You put your phone down and try to think of how to respond as your phone lights up again.

I know you read this can you please respond?

Idk Alex you were kind of an ass last time we talked…

I know I’m sorry! I miss you a bunch though and I will behave this time!!

Well I’m glad to have you back then hahah

You two proceed to talk about home and how crazy it is that you’re sitting backstage at this event. He’s acting completely normal and when you ask him why Nash is being weird after your date last night he actually gives you advice on how to deal with it.

Ok the shows about to start! I gotta go. Love you xx

Love you more!

Getting to talk to Alex improved your mood exponentially and as Cam runs up to you, you can’t wipe the huge smile off your face.

“Why so smiley?” He laughs and grabs your arm.

“Alex and I figured things out so everything’s good now!”

“Oh that’s good! Come this way we have a spot for you to sit where you can watch the whole thing.”

You laugh as he practically drags you along behind him. Seeing Cam so excited was contagious and you began to get excited to see the boys in their element on stage. It was obvious they all really cared about their fans.

“Cam I know you have to go but do you think girls are gonna be bitches to me cause I’m here with you?” You ask tentatively as he puts you in a secluded seat with a fantastic view of everything going on on stage and in the crowd.

“I don’t know. Some might. Don’t pay attention to it though.” He says as he runs over to join the rest of the boys.

10 minutes later you hear the gradual roar of teenage girls screaming grow into an inferno as they all rush into the auditorium.

Holy shit. You think as things start to settle down. There’s so many people here.

The boys begin to file out onstage and start doing their thing. You’re amazed at how relaxed they look up there. All of them look completely natural.

You also can’t help but notice how hot Gilinsky looks in the tank top he changed into. His arms were so toned… Nothing turns you on more than a guy who’s fit. But you’re determined to shake those thoughts out of your head and are distracted as your heart skips a beat (again) when Nash runs out onstage and waves to the fans. He steals a glance at you and you momentarily forget about him being a dick earlier so you wink at him and smile. He smiles back quickly and then turns his attention to the mosh pit of girls in front of him.

Once the boys were done onstage you joined them for a quick break before they did meet and greets.

“I think I’m gonna head back now.” You say to Cam as he gulps down a water bottle.

He pauses his frenzied drinking and asks, “Why?”

“Cause I feel like I’ll be in the way while you guys talk to fans and I don’t want to deal with the girls asking me about the Instagram picture,” You explain and turn to leave.

“Hey! (Y/N)! You can’t leave.” Nash runs up to you.

You sigh and turn to him. “Why?”

“Because I want you to sit by my table with me…” He says quietly and rubs the back of his neck.

“I’m tired Nash.”

“Me too. Please. You can keep me awake and focused.” He begs.

“Ok. Fine I guess. But you owe me. And if I get hate for the Instagram pic—” You begin.

“Don’t worry about that I will take care of anything they say.” He cuts you off and wraps his arm around your shoulder just like Cam did after he saved you from being kicked out. Geez if I didn’t know myself I would think I’m a hoe. But Nash is different. Ugh so is Cam. And Gilinsky. Fuck they’re all perfect in their own ways. I am way over my head right now. You argue in your head as Nash leads you out to his booth with him. Right before he emerges from behind the plastic backing he removes his arm from your shoulders and you walk out a few steps behind him, trying to figure out if you wished he would have left it there for everyone to see.