I don't know who to talk to but death is a very weird thing for me like I dont know how to react i just get very confused im sorry this is stupid
There’s no right or wrong way to react, babe. Unless it’s crude, of course, which I definitely don’t think you’re being. And it’s certainly not stupid to feel this way.
I think this is an odd situation. It feels very similar to Jay’s death for me. I’ve been a fan of One Direction since 2012, and Jay and Robin were strong and obvious forces within the fandom. But I never actually knew them, so does that mean I’m not allowed to grieve? I don’t know. I don’t have an answer to that question.
All I know is that Jay and Robin’s love for their boys, for the band, for the fandom, and for life made me feel closer to them. All of the stories I’ve heard about both of them - how nice they were to fans, how charitable they were in their everyday lives, how they woke up every day and made the decision to lead with love - makes it feel like I’m allowed to mourn.
They were such good people. You could tell from the smiles on their faces alone. Their families - more than any other family associated with One Direction - have been so attacked, so intruded upon, so dragged through the dirt. Yet they still greeted every fan with a hug and a smile; with a conversation that lasted more than ten seconds.
I’m going to allow myself to feel whatever I’m feeling. It’s a sad day. I know I will never know what Robin’s family is going through, and I’m not diminishing their grief by going through my own. That’s the last thing I want to do. But I can still be sad, because in a tiny way, Robin has been a small part of my life for the past five years, so I’m feeling it today. And that’s okay.