idk what this is

voltron character as stupid shit my friends and i have said
  • Lance: if i was a fruit i'd be a tomato becuase no body realizes that i'm there, in the fruit category
  • Hunk: let's bake cookies with carbonated milk and sell them to raise money for a chemistry field trip
  • Pidge: ah yes, if you take the molar mass of oxygen divided by the radius of the sun multiplied by avagadro's number, then add the square root of the earth's area and finally multiply it by 0 you would get the amount of fucks i give
  • Shiro: ah yes, whats on the agenda today? death? ah perfect
  • Keith: *teacher calls him obtuse as a joke* i know what that means,youre calling me fat
  • Allura: cut off your Fallopian tubes, BAM NO PERIODS!
  • Coran: why do kids get snack time and nap time, they dont even appreciate it. i say we should give the nap times to highschoolers and give the kids our workload instead.
  • Zarkon: hey help me create this huge epidemic that will wipe uot half the population so we can decrease our population bc its scary
  • Haggar: magic is real, just look at the kids who get straight A's

sana and yousef have the most banterful relationship and you can’t convince me they don’t

like he teases her so much (fondly, never ever hurtful, never pushing boundaries). and she just narrows her eyes at him and makes some sassy response and literally roasts yousef and it makes yousef’s head fall back with laughter because sana is just so funny and clever and where does this girl get her wit from

sana lowkey loves making yousef laugh. she loves making all her friends laugh

there is one time where yousef runs over and nudges sana’s hand while she’s applying some of her Dark Lipstick™ and that’s the only time she hasn’t said anything and instead runs over to him and swats him over the head (he ducks and tries to avoid it but you can’t avoid sana when she’s on a mission). and everyone around them is ????? what is happening???? but yousef is laughing so everyone guesses that it’s all good (sana is totally not laughing either she’s completely annoyed what do you mean the corners of her mouth are twitching upwards)

anyway they’re at this party one time and yousef is just chilling with his arm around mikael (mikael is playing with the fingers yousef has on mikael’s shoulder, trailing up and down them lazily). sana is there too, and it’s the first time yousef has introduced her to mikael properly. like, they’ve met in passing before, but this is the first time sana has met mikael as yousef’s boyfriend. and yousef is aware that sana has been eyeing mikael the whole night, been asking him pressing questions. and she’s been kind of tough on mikael, actually. 

(when she leaves to check vilde isn’t throwing up, mikael turns to yousef and says, “she hates me!” and yousef just rolls his eyes and shakes his head and says “no, baby, she doesn’t hate you” but he kind of wishes sana would chill just a little bit)

but yousef knows she won’t, really. because as much as sana and yousef joke around, they are like brother and sister, and sana would never keep quiet if yousef was with someone that she didn’t think was worthy of him

but she comes back and sits next to them and they start talking again and yousef tries to change the atmosphere to something more relaxed. it’s all chill, everything is chill, the vibe is good, even if yousef can tell that mikael is still a little nervous.

then someone accidentally spills a drink over sana and oh my god yousef tries really hard not to laugh - like he tries, tries so hard, but sana KNOWS he finds this funny so she turns to him and glares at him and that’s when he loses it, laughter bubbling out of him, he can’t help it

and he chokes out an, “are you okay?” even though he knows she’s fine, and sana just glares at him more and says, “is something funny?” and oh god yousef just laughs more and more until suddenly sana is throwing a drink over him too

and he scoffs, shakes his hair like a dog (splattering it all over mikael, thank you very much), and then he asks, “what was that for?!” 

sana just scowls and says “you know what that was for, yousef acar”

and mikael snorts and yousef turns to him, mocking offence, saying, “what, you’re taking her side now, baby?!”

and mikael just shrugs and says “you deserved it”, grinning like an idiot before moving some of yousef’s wet hair away from his eyes and asking, a little more softly, “are you okay?”

and something in sana’s expression softens because she registers the tone in mikael’s voice, the softness, the way he looks at yousef with so much warmth and admiration. and even though yousef is literally the biggest idiot on the planet, sana knows he deserves to have someone speak to him and look at him the way mikael speaks and looks at him. with care, with gentleness, with teasing grins and soft touches.

okay. okay. maybe she’ll give mikael a chance after all.

anonymous asked:

Thorki. Loki meets Thor at the gloryhole, he falls in love with the D, then sees the owner of the Thunder D and falls in love with the owner because he was polite and thanked him kinda. AU or Asgard, up to you!

idk how gloryholes work and neither does Thor ~200 words

Loki basks in the glorious spiral of arousal and shame, sweeping his hand over his face to wipe off the sweat and cum. He registers movement of the anonymous cock he just serviced slipping out of the hole cut from the wall of the stall. He silently mourns the loss. It was by far the prettiest cock he’d ever had his mouth on.

“Uh, thanks,” comes softly from the other side of the wall. Loki lets out a snort.

“The pleasure was all mine,” Loki replies blithly, his voice ruined.

Loki sits back on his heels with a sigh, letting his eyes slip closed as he collects himself.

He hears the shifting of feet. But he doesn’t hear the other man leave. Weird, but whatever. Once he’s caught his breath and has somewhat sorted himself out, he walks out of the stall, going striaght for the sinks to get himself a little more presentable for the outside world.

He’s fixing his hair when the other man finally steps out. Loki freezes.

Okay, he’d thought the guy’s cock was good looking- but the rest of him is just… absurdly attractive.

It takes awhile for Loki to realize that they’re staring at each other.

He comes up to one of the other sinks and starts washing his hand for some reason. Loki keeps fluffing his hair- which is hopelessly sweaty and gross looking now, but whatever.

“So, um, thanks,” the blond mumbles, “again, that was… nice.” He instantly cringes at himself and Loki feels all tingly.

Loki takes a deep breath. Loki moves in, startling the other man as he crowds him, his hand feeling around his pockets until he finds what he’s looking for, taking his phone and quickly putting his own number in his contacts while the blond just stares in confusion.

Pushing the phone to the other man’s broad, muscular chest (hnng) Loki winks.

“Call me.”

You feel like home. You feel like comforting hands on the back of my neck. You feel like the key pressed into the palm of my hand. You feel like harsh kisses and soft touches.
You sound like home. You sound like low whispered promises. You sound like reality. You sound like a prayer.
You smell like home. You smell like smoke. You smell like safety. You smell like freedom.
You taste like home. You taste like chocolate. You taste like ice cream. You taste like damnation.
You look like home. You look like an fallen angel. You look like you could take on everything on the world. You look like nothing could stop you.
You are home.
—  No - you are my home

– & The sound of dim ringing enters her senses though the soft playing of guitar doesn’t stop from behind the counter, fully content on letting the new customer wander aimlessly until they need help. After all the store is very plainly laid out, sage and smudge labelled easily enough. “If you’d like some tea – or help, do let me know.” Words fall as she continues to strum softly, the footsteps coming closer cause emerald orbs to flicker up –