idk what the dog is called

grantaire vs combeferre though is hilarious

  • books!! they have their stacks next to each other
  • one is clean and pristine with all the spines uncracked and it is #aesthetic 
  • the other is a m e s s
  • dog-eared pages, cracked spines, splattered paint, doodles, pages full of sarcastic commentary and insightful comments on post-it notes
  • they both claim to hate each other for it
  • (“Take your vile disrespect of books away from me, R!” “Really? You call actually actively thinking about the content of the book vile? You’re cleaner than Enjolras’ sex life!”) 
  • but they secretly envy each other
  • r envies combeferres’ ability to retain his thoughts without writing them down because COMBEFERRE ACTUALLY HAS SUPERPOWERS YALL
  • but ferre envies r’s liberty to express his thoughts
  • ferre prefers written text tbh and grantaire likes Art
  • b e d s tho
  • ferre has clean, white covers for his bed + neat fairylights
  • grantaire
  • o boy
  • List of Things Found On Grantaire’s Bed (written by Joly and Bossuet)
    • a 3 month old open packet of crisps
    • cookie crumbs
    • ink stains
    • a? noodle? 
    • 2 (two) brushes. just. there.
    • a cat once. he doesnt own a cat.
  • so basically
  • tag yourself im the noodle
AUs

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like 'bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole

One of the things that makes me happy about Brooklyn 99 is the frequency and normalcy with which they refer to Holt’s husband. “What sort of cute names do you call your husband?” “My husband’s dog” “He’s worried we’re going to embarrass him in front of his husband.”

Idk I just really like how comfortable everyone is with it, not in a ‘not making a big deal of it’ way I mean like…making enough of a deal of it. They’re married. They’re married. And that’s something that’s been denied to gay people for so long, and something that’s still denied to gay people in my country, and it just makes me really happy in a warm&fuzzy kinda way to see them normalising that at the same time as celebrating it.

Wanna know what I want to see more of?

ROBOTS AT THE BEACH.

*robots having to spray silicone sealant on their joints so they don’t have to worry about anything important rusting over (if Ratch catches you skipping this crucial step he will weld you to a med bay and do it himself. It’s not pleasant)

*Robots pitching a fit when they get sand in their unmentionables and having to take a 45 minute shower just to get half of the damned grit out of their grilles.

*Robots playing in the water!! Dunking each other and having splash fights and all that cute shite!!

*“Hey guys the ocean is full of free dogs!!”, “SIDESWIPE, THAT IS NOT A DOG PUT IT BACK!”, *Great White: :D*

*“WHAAAAAAAAALES!!!”, “Wheeljack you cannot just rush up to them they are classified as endangered by the humans-Wheeljack? WHEELJACK NO!”

*“What is this nonsense?”, “I believe it’s called ‘seaweed’”, “…I don’t like it”

*Big ass beach umbrellas for taking nice long naps under.

*Could you imagine the sand castles though?!
“It’s a bit excessive don’t you think?”, “I don’t understand why you would say that. It looks perfectly fine to me!”, “…how many sand castles do you know have foyers, Hoist?”

*Sunhats!

*“Didn’t we have more people with us?”, “idk, man I’m still trying to get over that horde of jellyfish”, *back at the beach, Ratchet slumbers underneath six feet of sand only to awaken and emerge like some eldritch horror. People are screaming, he scratches himself at growls irritably at them before transforming and moving on.*

GOD I WISH I WAS A BETTER WRITER SO I CAN EXPAND ON THIS BUT YEAH,

ROBOTS ON THE BEACH!

male idol groups as i come to know them

shinee: kings of kings, 5hinee???, once in a blue moon comebacks, always slays tho, taemin has killed people??, jonghyun cries, key/minho is loud, tofu leader onew, dibidibidissing themselves is a specialty, live vocals for days, visuals, rind dinG DONG DIGGY DINGY DING

shinhwa: you thought shinee were kings, actual gods, legends, eats cds for meals, fans are moms, doesn’t let members live/leave, grown men but also smol children, m style, don’t make them dance 2x speed dances, butt grabbing, kissing, they talk about farting a lot, grown men that i shouldn’t like but do, my mom thinks they’re good looking af

bts: any armys here xD, i thought rapmon was a pokemon, fans are kinda :/, lots of in fandom drama, despise exo/exo-ls, screaming, aloof, do they have other friends???, bulletproof boyscouts makes me cringe sometimes ngl, choreo will apparently kill you (lie), lightstick lowkey doubles as a weapon, FIYUHHHH OH AYE OH

got7: literally the easiest name ever jyp what u doin, actually has 7, united nations group, memes, wild af outside of korea, JACKSON, dab7, people talk a lot of shit on bambam :/, dancing kid yugyeom, they have a dog, a DOG, best leader jaebum, it’s jinyoung not junior, dancing kings with bts, gotbangtan saved my life, mark who?

exo: i’m not even gonna start, sm does whatever with them, members left, idk any names, only do and kai, fandom is kinda :/ too, despise armies/bts, CHOGIWA, wolf was a tragic era, no one talks about the history mv, call me (daddy) baby, good music, apparently invented everything????, exo next door was cringey and my life at the same time, kudae oolf naega oolf

seventeen: wait how many members???, boy with long hair (its not long anymore??), good at everything, self producing idols, short angery man writes songs, vernon is a meme, they’re all memes, american hyung josh, only chan is actually 17, they have a general leader????, sub units within a group???, justice for china line, have they ever failed at anything??, carrot is the fandom name???

infinite: hoya hoya hoooya, old man sunggyu, weekly idol’s children, i have never met an inspirit irl, or online, unique sound, quality music, looked a lil dusty in the early days but thats ok

vixx: kinky kpop group???, lightstick vibrates????, i love n, and leo, they got me chained up lmao i’m sorry, i have never met a starlight irl either, where yall at???

24k: who???, just kidding, people don’t know who they are tho, i’m in love with the leader, listen to oasis its a bop, sunbaes to so many of ur faves its unbelievable, give em a listen, go to russia/europe on the regular???, go through so many lineup changes what is their company doin smh, look em up hunnies

toppdogg: T O DOUBLE G, T O DOUBLE G, who???, just kidding, lots of bops, give oasis and arario a try, members keep leavin like no???, stay???, one member is literally named camel, have a good ass fandom name, topp klass, vvvv nice, i have never met one irl, hmu lol

monsta x: i can be your hERO, joohoney, slept on, no one can spell their name???, all in changed my life, wonho is lowkey kinky, no mercy really had no mercy, kings of circle choreos, wheres thEIR FIRST WIN???, shownu is a giant teddy bear, you thought you knew memes, inventor of the meme, stan talent pls ;-;

vromance: STAN TALENT DO IT LOOK THEM UP RIGHT NOW STAN THEM, grown men i love but shouldn’t, vocals slay me, eats cds, so much potential ;-;


**this is all just jokes but @ me if you want lol it’ll just be for a ridiculous reason

the signs as random snapchats my friends have sent me
  • aries: i'm barely awake and my sister said "clean the damn house" bitch clean ya damn vagina im tired fuck outta my face
  • taurus: *picture of herself with the headband on & a blank face* i realized too late that i was playing headbandz and now i know what i am wow
  • gemini: you ever notice that the inside of your mouth looks like the inside of your vagina wait actually idk what the inside of my vagina looks like
  • cancer: *picture of her teary eyed* i nearly started crying because i realized plankton and karen don't have kids because she's a computer so they can't have sex
  • leo: *picture of her with her hair tied around her chin like a beard* who needs men? i'm my own man
  • virgo: *picture of her looking down at the camera at an awkward angle* me trying to figure out how to record without using my hands
  • libra: *at 2 am* in other countries when they eat hot dogs or something do they call it "american food" like how we call china's food "chinese food" #latenightthoughts
  • scorpio: *picture of herself on the toilet with her legs scribbled out* woah why tf am i constipated (my dick not showin, just my legs)
  • sagittarius: while i was chewing i bit down on something chewy IT WAS A BUG I THINK PLEASE HELP
  • capricorn: *blurry picture of her looking terrified* tell me why i dropped my phone in the fucking brownie mix i hate everything
  • aquarius: *blurry picture of herself* i kicked an ant bed and i think some of the ants went in my pants and are biting me
  • pisces: *picture of her crying* me realizing maddie isn't even real. or maybe liv isn't real. idk they just aren't actually twins. they're the same girl. and she doesn't have some unique connection to her twin sister who'd she do anything for because she doesn't have one.

anonymous asked:

You'll talk someday about how the Port Mafia is portrayed? ( not the bightest bulbs in the chandelier huh. Not the most subtle either) im not trying to rush you, it bothers me too and im just curious. I like your analysis. Have a nice day

Haha all kidding aside, I’ve been meaning to talk about them for quite a while now. It’s just that I want the stuff I write to make sense, because usually they’re self-indulgent rambles. And this one won’t be an exception, especially since I have so many feelings about Port Mafia.

Usually it’s the protagonists who are outmatched, outgunned, outnumbered, or just generally outclassed. Through sheer force of will and nakama power perfect teamwork do they come out on top. Even then sacrifices have to be made. At the start, the Armed Detective Agency seemed like it will follow this mold, but soon we are introduced to their abilities.

On paper and in practice, the abilities of the members of ADA greatly complement each other. This means that even with few active operatives who can work on the field, they got all bases covered. If this were an MMO they’d have Atsushi and Kenji as tanks, Atsushi again and then Kunikida for DPS, Tanizaki going for Assistance/Crowd Control, Fukuzawa as Buffer, Dazai as Debuffer and of course, Yosano as their Healer. Not to mention Ranpo, the formidable brains behind their operations (with Dazai as backup, or even vice versa).

Now let’s take a look at the mafia. Not counting Odasaku, in their group who doesn’t have an offensive ability? Ace? Sure, but his ability only applies to his subordinates, and anyway he’s also dead. See the problem? Chuuya probably has the most versatile ability in the mafia right now, but it’s either he takes great pride in his prowess as a martial artist or he just can’t think of creative ways to take advantage of the fact that he can, well, manipulate gravity. There’s also Elise, who seems to be “programmed” to be able to do feats no ordinary human can, but we don’t know much about her. Outside of these two, the one who impresses is Kajii. His ability sounded like a joke sure, but he knows how to make use of it and in the right circumstances, can be that one member to watch out for. There’s also talks about another executive member or two. Whether one exists we don’t know, but I can only hope they’ll possess an ability that is a supportive one, or something gamechanging like mind reading or memory wipe.

Don’t get me wrong! It is rather refreshing to see a team full of competent people, especially in their line of work where they’ll find themselves smack dab in the middle of dirty matters the police and the military would rather not handle. That they are well-rounded means it’s easy to imagine why the government would want their help, why they get the requests they do, and why they are favored to take on cases that will pit them against criminals/evildoers who have their own deadly abilities.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

sanvers

Needs help opening their Popsicle?: maggie.
Talks to questionable strangers?: maggie and alex is like… What Are You Doing and maggie says “what? it’s just being nice” not everyone grew up in a small ass town maggie! it’s WEIRD
Snorts when they laugh?: alex and maggie thinks it’s so cute, probably calls it something ridiculous like her “monkey laugh” or something idk
More likely to snicker and say ‘if you know what I mean?’: maggie brings it up but alex laughs harder (because everything maggie says is funny)
Buys useless fandom merchandise?: they both do, alex is a star trek fan, maggie like star wars, and it’s the first fight kara has to break up
Owns a piggybank?: alex. it’s hot pink and has flower stickers all over it.
Asks to pet strangers’s dogs?: maggie, but she does it for alex
Sharpens candy canes to deadly points?: alex just does it out of habit but maggie starts doing it to poke alex and then they have fights
Give sticky kisses after eating a s'more?: maggie with food all over her mouth :) / alex: please… don’t… / maggie: I Will Kiss You Until The Day I Die
Buy an action figure with their face on it?: alex and maggie actually buy every single supergirl action figure available and give it to kara as a prank gift
Buys valentine candy for themself?: alex……… as we all know maggie does not fall into the trap of capitalism candy
Suggest to play hide-and-seek?: alex. maggie falls in love with her impossibly more that sunday morning.
Dress up for Halloween?: maggie really wants to even though alex thinks it’s dumb, until maggie signs them up for a contest and alex is super competitive and will take nothing but gold home
Babysit so they have an excuse to watch kids cartoons?: they don’t… babysit, per say, but maggie notices how much alex “let’s kara choose the channel” and pretends to whine and whine about nickelodeon, but maggie has accidentally clicked kara’s netflix account before and it’s filled with nothing but game of thrones and house of cards and breaking bad, alex is fooling no one
Sing random snatches of songs that are loosely connected to the conversation?: alex does it on accident, feels super embarrased, but then maggie continues the line
Let a dog lick them for long periods of time?: they’re both dog lesbians to some extent, so both. pet smart adoption day? more like ROMANTIC DATE
Wear nothing but there underwear around the house for a whole day?: maggie and sometimes she’ll be like “i saw a new pack of boxers in the drawer, thanks for getting me some” and alex deadpans “they were for me.”

Babysitting Jobs

Word count: 919
Pairing: Uncle!Crowley/Child!Reader
Warnings: none?
Note: I just have all these feels and don’t know what to do with them
Tags: @aaron–hotchner
Idk if you even like Crowley but this was the fluff I spoke of.

The king of Hell walks into a church.
Sounds like a bad joke, doesn’t it? But here he was, babysitting the brat Moose and Squirrel call their sister. Though only ten, the child was an absolute horror. She was polite, compassionate, and downright adorable.
It disgusted him.
But, much as he was disgusted, he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for her. The way she discouraged traps, the names she gave his dogs (“Her name is Anna, cause she’s just as mean.”). Once, when she was seven, she asked for information from his demon, and ever so nicely added a ‘please’ at the end of the sentence. When he refused to give it to her, she toddled off to find someone who would, rather than hurting the black-eyed boy.
At the moment, he was seated next to her at Christmas mass. She was watching with shining eyes as the priest explained the story of Jesus. The man could’ve fallen asleep because of how boring it was.
The only reason he was even here was because those two idiots she called brothers and their little angel friend forgot to take her with them. They begged him to watch her until they got back later that evening, and he could do nothing but agree. And of course the brat wanted to go to church!
“Uncle Cas says God always likes to see his children there!” She explained.
The little old lady next to him seemed to be staring him down; her gaze constantly switched between the two of them, as if she was questioning his guardian skills. Kids weren’t much different than dogs, right?
That evening, he took her home draped over his shoulder. She had fallen asleep mid-mass. No doubt it was way past her bedtime, anyways. It was a shame, really. She had been all dressed up in her child-sized red dress and shoes.
“It’s cause they match your eyes!” She said, squishing his cheeks a bit.
He was hardly amused when the boys returned, covered in blood and sweat. This was no place to raise a child, even Hell would be better for her! And that’s exactly what he told them.
“She should not have to grow up with so much pressure!” He seethed, shoving Dean backwards.

“Oh? And what do you suggest? Hell would hardly be better!” The man yelled back. The group didn’t notice little tear filled eyes watching from the stairs. (Y/n) listened to them fight about her care until Crowley flashed himself out. She tucked herself back into bed, said a prayer, and drifted into a nightmare filled sleep, something about a man in a cage?
In the end, she stayed with the boys. Crowley was in no way related to her, had no leverage over the boys. He couldn’t technically take her, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t babysit now and again.
Today happened to be one of those days.

“Tell me, Peabody,” Crowley said, taking a sip from his tiny plastic tea cup. “Have you been getting enough sleep? You look tired.” She hadn’t. The nightmares had gotten worse and she was almost afraid to sleep now. Dark bags, the kind that shouldn’t be found on any ten year old, had formed under her droopy eyes.

“Mhm.” She hummed. There was no reason to worry her favorite uncle, was there? The door to the bunker opened and closed, alerting the king that her guardians were back. He ruffled her hair, said goodbye, and flashed out. The minute he was gone, (Y/n) laid her head on the table, ready for a short nap.


“What in God’s name did you two do?” Crowley snarled. (Y/n) was currently leaning against him, sobbing her heart out. It had to be their fault, obviously! What else could make her cry like this?

“Nothing! She woke up and wanted you, that’s all we know.” Sam insisted. Crowley muttered something about ‘being more of a Peabody than a moose’ and continued to comfort her, urging her to reveal the problem.

“Come now, Peabody, what’s got you so down? Nothing we can’t fix, yes?”

“Make him s-stop!” She cried. Were you talking about him? “He h-hurt Sam! Put him back, make h-him stop!”

“Put who back?” Crowley inquired. But the boys had a good idea of what she meant, and they were not at all shocked by what she said next.

“The m-man with the w-hite wings.” Handing you over to Dean, Crowley stood. A scowl adorned his face, as did bright red eyes. Someone would die tonight, and though it wouldn’t be Lucifer, they had a feeling he would get what was coming for messing with Crowley’s favorite Winchester.
Under the agreement that he got to speak with Sam and Dean, Lucifer stopped his tormenting. How he could even reach (Y/n) from the cage was a mystery. But she was sleeping easy and had no clue that those dreams had happened in real life, that was what mattered.
And that brings us right back to…
“But I want to see the puppies!” (Y/n) pouted angrily. Crowley stood behind her with an amused smirk.

“Hellhounds. They’re fucking hellhounds! You can’t even see them unless you’re a demon!” Dean replied. There was a long pause before she turned to look up at Crowley.

“Uncle Crowley, can I have my birthday wish early?”

“You are not wishing to be a demon!” Sam screeched. Ah, the joys of childhood.

i literally have no desire to be billions of dollars rich, or drive sports cars or live in a huge lavish house with nothing to brag about besides things with monetary value. call me corny but that isn’t me at all. i just really crave a life where i’m proud of what i do, surrounded by the people who build me up & hold me down. my idea of success is literally just a happy marriage, babies to raise right and a dog to run around the backyard it’s all so simple😭😭 idk where i’m going w this at all but a bitch just strives for peace, stability & genuine happiness in this lifetime! fuck the rest

My favorite out of context quotes I’ve heard from people at school:

“I’m not lonely, you hoe, I’ve got my kazoo and that’s all I need” (he actually did have a kazoo)

“Do you like feet?”

“Stop being gay with my brother, that’s not okay”

“I’m not boss, I’m daddy”

“Prostitutes on a train”

“The amount of times hooker has been said in this class period is concerning”

“The early bird doesn’t get the cookie”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT DEEP THROATING IS?”

“I can kill you with a slice of pizza”

“It’s just making me hump you, I’m sorry”

“Whales are weirdos, man”

“Is spongebob real?”

“You need to stop calling me dad, people are going to think something kinky is going on”

“My son..forehead shinier than my life though..I love him, but”

“I’m scared, dog”

“Is it too late to give up and become a stripper?”

anonymous asked:

Hello, I was wondering if you'd be able to write a 3848 fic, somewhere alongs the lines of the two realizing they have feelings for eachother? Thanks! :)

if you were looking for more feelings, then don’t worry, I have a longer fic with feelings in the works of these idiots, but in the meantime, here’s a combo of your prompt and CJ’s rude attack on me:

@duncanjameskeith: write me something about hartzy smooching on those tats 👀


Ryan hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of it. The way the numbers bend every time Vinnie moves, how they’re splayed over his ribs, how they trail down to his waist.

“Ryan!” Nick yells before snapping his fingers in Ryan’s face. He tears his eyes away from Vinnie’s tattoo and looks up to see Nick hovering near his locker.

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