hey bc i remember being that age if ur like 12-16 on tumblr please remember that grown ass adults really shouldnt ever be talking nsfw headcanons or roleplay with u if they know your age. like even if they are just normal ppl with no attraction to u they should still know better than to be doing that kind of thing with someone half their age or young enough to be their kid. it’s a kind of fandom predatory issue we don’t talk about enough bc they aren’t directly preying on you or on personal nsfw, but it still happens. and unintentional or not it also paves the way for actual predators to get to you bc at that point you’re used to talking about nsfw stuff with adults. so yeah just Be Careful.
Mental illness is weird BC you don’t cry at death but your local shop not having organic yellow bell peppers throws you into a panicked state where nothing will ever be okay again and the world is burning.
i don’t have all my thoughts together on this so its going to be pretty scattered, i just wanna get it out there and maybe come back to it later.
something pretty surreal that happened the other day: in a group of lesbians, a workshop based on intergenerational discussion. young lesbians explaining what its like for them, old lesbians doing the same, you get the idea. at one point one young woman asked her fellow young women to raise their hands if they’d ever disidentified from being a woman, and almost every single young hand in the joint shot up. and it wasn’t just the usual suspects like yours truly, either, i mean, this was regardless of presentation, this was including the femmes… and none of us were surprised, but an AUDIBLE GASP went out from the older lesbians
i dunno. there’s. something happening to lesbians. we’ve always had a pretty fraught relationship to womanhood because cultural images of “Woman” and what she does don’t include us. the difference now is that it makes it so hard to find each other, it takes so much more healing and work before we can even do the real relational healing + generational continuity that is so so necessary for our survival
pairing: jimin x reader ➢
genre: angst, fluff, dream!jimin ➢
word count: 10,727 ➢
summary: you fall in love with the boy who is only known by your dreams
a/n: hi i’m zero and i’m coming out of my cave to drop a fic
You are seven years old when you first meet him.
The sky arcs above you in all its cerulean glory, and if you were to extend your hands towards the heavens, you could pluck the clouds right off the sky. That’s exactly what you do, watching in quiet awe as the white diffuses in a massless haze through your fingertips, crystallizing into tiny diamonds that soundlessly fall to the ground.
The boy stands alone by the shore, waves of transparent greens and blues rushing up just far enough to nip at his bare ankles before receding back into the ocean. He barely contrasts against the pale background, bright strands of pink hair billowing softly in the wind. The water is quiet, grounded against the horizon as it stirs lazily back and forth, and without the boy’s motionless form to focus the scenery, the salty breeze would surely have carried the white dunes across the sea to be forgotten.
i think it’s really funny that people online and spoiled white college kids throw slurs around to be edgy and make fun of ppl who tell them they’re being dicks because “omg this is real life no one cares about ur feelings!!!”
meanwhile i grew up around career criminals in a very rural area, and the smart ones don’t pull that shit. it’s considered a disrespectful cheap shot that tends to make even people outside of the group you’re dissing respect you less; it’s stupid to boot, because you’re making people feel honor-bound to beat your ass and you don’t know what they’re capable of. there’s even a strong chance even your friends won’t back you up, either, because they know you just pulled some punk ass shit. people who never graduated high school and who have spent more time in prison than on the streets, who know what it’s like to get into a legitimate dangerous situation because someone looked at you wrong, who’ve been in prison riots where suddenly everyone was attacking anyone outside their race, will argue passionately that being racist is ignorant and despicable.
in my experience they’re more likely to have met, lived with, and befriended a trans woman than some well-educated, affluent liberal -not because they were trying to be “tolerant” or some shit, but because they organically ended up in the same place and had to depend on each other for survival. they make jokes, but if i mention to them that being gay is hard they’ll understand because they know what it’s like to be judged, hated, downtrodden. if they cross a line, i can tell them they disrespected me and expect them to take me seriously because they understand the value of respect, and understand what people are willing to do to get it.
but everyone who tells you you’re a piece of shit for reducing someone to their race, gender, sex or religion is just a whiny triggered sjw, right? lmao. good luck with that shit if you ever find yourself surrounded by people with real problems.
u know that feeling where you’re just preparing for the worst and shit keeps happening and things keep trying you and it’s like… rlly hard to think there’s ever gonna be a positive side at the end of it bc fucking god yh man mood
heck ok that minhyun college au had me feelin some type of way and he's not even my bias so if you wanted could you do one for jr? your writing is absolutely wonderful and i really appreciate all you do <3
specialty: jonghyun is doing his residency in cardiology
“of coURSE you want to be a heart doctor” “what do you mean?” “well it’s just,,,,,,you’re so kind and ,,,,,, loving,,,,,it just fiTS YOU”
^probably an actual conversation between jonghyun and minki in med school LOL
but no he really does his best in all of his work, like he knows that there are limits to how much he can do for people and the fact breaks him because he just wants to make sure everyone is taken care of and is safe
but his selflessness got him into some trouble in med school because people would constantly ask to cheat off him and some even took the credit for work /he/ did
yet jonghyun never as much as complained, even when dongho threatened to fight them for him because jonghyun would just shrug it off and be like “if it helps them, then that is what matters” and everyone is always like yes but at what cost to you and jonghyun just smiles
,,,,,that damn adorable angelic smile,,,,,,,and everyone is like god you really arent a person. you’re some kind of righteous demi-god with a heart too good for your own being LOL
looks totally mature and serious in his uniform and when he does intakes for the cardiology department
but ,,,,,, the other residents know the tRUTH
about how his ID card is actually yellow and has little flowers on it, how instead of taking the precious time to sleep he’ll stay up and read webtoons on his phone, has a collection of squirtle’s lined up on his bed
he gets really embarrassed when the superiors compliment his work and he’ll kind of try to hide his smile but also,,,,
as usual if someone is getting in trouble he’ll try to shift the blame onto himself and again everyone is like jonghyun please stop putting yourself on the line for others
but he can’t,,,,it’s in his nature
one time he almost got kicked out of the program because he was going to take the blame for a negligent resident but thankfully minhyun and dongho intervened in time BUT STILL EVEN AFTER ALMOST GIVING THE REST OF NUEST A HEARTATTACK JONGHYUN CONTINUES TO DO THESE THINGS
i guess you just can’t hold a good person down lgfjds
anyway back to him being cute,,,, he always compliments minki because he thinks he looks the best in his doctors coat and minhyun is (kinda) jealous while dongho is straight out like jonghyun jonghyun look at me flex - jonghyun hey
got caught singing to himself after putting away blood samples and everyone always asks him to show off his voice and he’s like ,,, a,,,ah i cant
(but he totally did at the christmas party some residents threw and it was. amazing. rumor is someone cried because jonghyuns voice was so nice)
everyone says he flirts with patients when he’s helping them get ready for procedures but jonghyun is just like???? im being nice
and everyone is like being nice doesnt involve being so damn handsome and using a soft tone of voice and flasing that smile-
jonghyun: are you saying my face is flirting for me
dongho: thats exactly it. It’s his face you guys. look at it
did i mention he totally saw a kid holding a pokemon toy in the waiting room and did an impersonation of squirtle to get the kid to laugh. well im mentioning it now.
so it’s technically your first time e v e r at the cardiologist and you have no idea what to expect and you’re kinda nervous,,,
the lady at the front desk is like honey dont worry its all painless and fine but you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,,,not completely convinced
and when the nurse calls you in you’re expecting that she’ll be the one with you for most of the visit but she sits you down in a room and says one of the residents will do some tests today
and you’re like ok,,,,looking around the painfully bright room and wondering about all the different tools and the big diagrams of the human heart hung up on the wall
and when the door opens you turn and,,,,,damn near fall off the examination table
because the boy in front of you,,,,,,he’s got to be??? an actor???? a singer????? is this a prank camera????
he smiles,,,,dark hair combed neatly against his forehead and he points to the heart monitor in his hands nad he’s like “im jonghyun, ill be doing some tests on you for the doctor.”
in your head you’re still like,,,,,,is this dude actually a resident,,,,,isnt he too good looking
you’re so distracted that you dont even notice him hook you up to the heart monitor, carefully wrapping it around your arm and smiling at you as he pulls back to turn on the machine
and for a moment he watches the bright numbers and he writes something down, coming closer to you you see the numbers on the machine go up
and when you glance over,,,,,jonghyun is looking confused too
he puts his hand back on the part of your arm and tightens the band a bit
the closeness is a bit much for you,,,,seeing his face up close you realize he’s even more handsome than before
and you can literally hear your heartbeat in your ears
jonghyun moves back and you let out a sigh,,,,the number begin to drop down to normal
and jonghyun is like “that’s,,,,,odd,,,,let me see something-”
he takes a step closer to you again,,,looking at your eyes and taking out his stethoscope and you’re once again hearing your heartbeat in your ears
and after a minute or two jonghyun,,,,,looks down at his notepad and is like
“it seems that everytime i get near you,,,,,your heart rate goes up. are you nervous?”
you in your head: ofc im nervous have you SEEN your FACE
you speaking: ,,,,oh just im nervous of seeing the doctor hahaha,,,
jonghyun nods and gives you a smile,,,,he leans forward to put his hand on your wrist reassuringly
too bad you’re still hooked up to the machine and the numbers go back up past 110 and jonghyun is like oh ,,,,wow
and you’re ike gbifkdfljsfg e@ your body plEASE STOP contrOL yOURSELf
and jonghyun writes something down before taking the band off you and saying that the doctor will come in soon
and you cant even look at him because,,,,wow,,,,you really just got your heart rate raised by this cute resident you dont even know how corny gfldjcbvg u really need to stop falling for people you just meet
but as jonghyun closes the door he cant help but smile to himself because,,,,thats the first time someones heart rate has changed so drastically in front of him
plus the look of slight embarrassment on your face was so cute,,,,,,
the rest of the appointment goes by fine. the doctor is like nothing seems to be wrong and you’re healthy although ive never seen such spikes in heart beat,,,,maybe its the nerves?
and you’re going back out of the room to the front desk when you bump into someone and looking up you see him again,,,,,jonghyun
the heat rushes all up into your face and you’re like fkgdse sorry,,,,,for getting all nervous back there
and he laughs because you’re the patient you shouldn’t ever apologize and you’re like gOsh i probably looked like such a fool
but jonghyun shakes his head and he’s like “a lot of people get nervous at the doctors,,,,,but not a lot of people still manage to look cute”
and you’re like excuse me and he’s like,,,,,oh,,,,i said that outloud?
and you’re like y,,,yes??// and jonghyun is just like coyly smiling and he’s like well no use in hiding it - it was very cute, its nice to know i can have such an impact on someone
and you’re like listen,,,,please,,,, you’re just so attractive up close i thought u werent a real resident for a bit
that makes jonghyun laugh and you cant help but giggle too
you both walk out to the front desk and you tell jonghyun that it was nice to meet him,,,,,and jonghyun is like ah! before you go - here
he hands you a pamphlet on heart health and you’re like,,,,,thank you?
but when you leave you open it up and out falls a note torn from a pad and it says
‘if you ever are free - stop by the hospital again? only if you want of course~ resident kim ‘makes your heart rate go past 110′ jonghyun’
its,,,,,the corniest thing but you cant help but feel a giddiness in your stomach
jonghyun back in the doctors office is telling himself that he really shouldnt have wote that dumb ‘makse your heart rate go past 110′ part but its DONE now,,,,so he’ll ave to just wait and see
,,,,,,,of course you come back how can you not lmao you show up at the office and the front desk women seems to know whats going on she just winks and tells you to wait while she gets jonghyun
its a short first “date” because it happens outside the hospital cafe where you’re both drinking coffee and talking about your interests and hobbies and jonghyun has to run back after fifteen minutes but,,,,
it’s enough for you two,,,,,
slowly you visit the hospital more and more until finally you and jonghyun share a first kiss near the doctors entrance to the parking lot and it’s,,,,not thE most romantic but jonghyun somehow makes it just that murmuring that after kissing you he wonders if your hearts went over 150 and you’re like jonghyun,,,,wouldnt i die
and he’s like im dying right now,,,,from your cuteness and you’re like pLEASE
dating resident!jonghyun: like most residents he doesnt have any time for real dates but jonghyun will put all of his power into making every visit of yours count, im not kidding he literally does the most of your time together whether its gifting you flowers he totally paid dongho 20 bucks to run out and buy on his lunch because he wanted to have something nice to give you but wouldnt be let off by the doctor to using his lab coat to shield you two from the other residents in the dorm when you get a couple of minutes longer and jonghyun wants to kiss you deeply and passionately but also theres like 5 other people in the room LOL, he tells you that if you ever miss him you can look up videos of squirtle - people say they look a like and you’re like if you’re squirtle am i pikachu??? and he’s like omg,,,,,yes,,,,,,that is our couple dynamic from now on, you learn very quickly that the charming, doctor to be that made your heart race is actually a Big Soft Dork, but you love it and you keep sneaking him in new comic books and snacks and every other resident is like jonghyun ask your significant other to get us stuff too and jonghyun can never say no so you end up having like a literal list of things to bring with you every damn time, you learn that jonghyun is selfless in the way he treats you like you are the only one that matters in the relationship, and tbh you dont like it because you want to show him that his needs are just as important as yours so even when jonghyun holds you in his arms and you feel that he’s trying to be polite you’re like “if you want you can put your hand-” jonghyun blushing like i,,,i shouldn- you: jonghyun we’re dating just do it if you want FGFDSg, you can tell the days that are the most hectic because jonghyun comes out to meet you with his hair a mess and his ID on sideways and you always fix him up and kiss his face and he refers to you as his sunlight in dark times and you’re like please you’re my sunlight you make me so proud (those words literally. melt him), is the type to have his family as his phone background and you’re like wow!! id love to meet your parents some day and jonghyun sheepishly admits he’s bragged about you already on the phone, adores it when you get fussy over him not taking his vitamins and not getting enough sleep and he’s always like ‘this is the life of a resident blah blah i cant stop till im the perfect doctor blah blah’ and you’re just holding his face in your hands like kim jonghyun your body is a temple - and not only your temple anymore but also mine because i love you and care about you so seriously dont overwork yourself every time, jonghyun never says it but seeing you scold him like that kind of gets him going and he always attacks you with kisses that show his urgency and you’re like !!! because as sensitive and gentle as jonghyun usually is sometimes something inside him comes out ;—) and it comes out to the point that you might have to hide your neck the next day lkdsjxcv, you wear jonghyun’s lab coat and stand next to minki and everyone is like ok now whose the best looking “doctor” and jonghyun chooses you and minki is DEVASTATED but minhyun is like finally,,,,someone has knocked minki off his high horse, jonghyun holding you around the waist cuddling his face into your neck completely ignoring everything else around you two: uhuh, he’s always saying sorry for things like sneezing our bumping into you by accident and you’re like kim jonghyun you angel you’re too good for me and this world and he’s like,,,well he’s like im sorry TT and you’re like if you say that again i will kiss you to shut u up (of course he says it again,,, and again,,,an again), you learned that he plays a lot of instruments and when he gets the chance he shows you videos of him and you’re like ,,,, how are you so talented and handsome and how am i so lucky and he’s like,,,,,,im the lucky one shh,,,,you guys are literally the ‘i love you more’ ‘no i love you more’ couple LOL, has a habit of licking his lips when he’s thinking and you’re like jonghyun dont do that around patients i feel like one of them might fall for you, dongho from somewhere: they all already fall for him, when he’s not doing his residency and you guys do get to go out you get to see cutest bf jonghyun in a soft cardigan and a warm smile and you’re like wow i love you so much you are like the human personification of wholesome goodness, jonghyun probably has a photo of you in his locker at the dorm that he talks to at the beginning of the day like ‘let make it through the day so our future is bright,,,,,my future with you’ LIKE HES THAT CUTE OK
soul mate au where the most important thing your soul mate will ever say to you is written on your wrist
Yeah sure we can go for the obvious like “I love you” or “I will miss you” but what about real weird stuff like “Please accept the change, sir” or “Please play on, your music is lovely”. Then there is the straight up nasty stuff like “I promise I won’t kill you”