idk what its supposed to be but they make me really happy

I’ve been thinking about professor!magnus and soldier!alec since yesterday and idk if I want to commit myself to writing something like that when I know nothing about the army but I feel like there could be something very heartbreaking about it. 

Like maybe Alec is about to be deployed and it’s his what… 2nd? 3rd? tour and he’s happy to be unattached, despite what his siblings always say, because he knows how hard it is to be separated from the ones he loves but also to be left behind and he doesn’t want to do that to someone. So he doesn’t date and he doesn’t have a lot of close friends apart from his family and it’s ok, hes doing something important, serving his country and following his family’s footsteps (ofc they’d be a big military family) but then he meets Magnus … Idk where, somewhere random like a bookstore or grocery store or the outdoor market Izzy dragged him to and sparks  f l y. And Alec is confused/overwhelmed and reluctant despite Magnus flirting 110% with him. Maybe they exchange numbers maybe not, maybe they randomly meet again and Magnus is like uh funny twist of fate *flirty grin* and Alec is just…. abort mission holy shit help ???Because even though he’s had flings and hooks up, he’s never had a crush or somebody that made him go w o w  like this and it’s new? But he kinda wants to break his rule and say yes when the hot college professor asks him out and that’s new and kinda scary but he blurts out yes before he can fully think about it or change his mind. Of course, he has a nervous breakdown afterward and Izzy is like pls find your chill but he can’t find his chill cause he’s going away to get shot at in less than 3 months and the timing couldn’t more off and that’s not fair to Magnus to get him involved like that… Because, of course, Alec is the type of person to worry too much before anything even happens. Anyway, so they go on a date maybe a walk at dusk and some ice cream?? Idk why but I’m imagining this is set in a small coastal town? They can walk near the water while talking about everything and nothing?? I’m seeing a make out session on top of a lighthouse? Anyway, when Alec tells Magnus what he does and where he’s going he’s all sorry about that I should have told you straight away when you asked me out but Magnus is all its ok lets just see where this goes, it doesn’t have to be serious since you’re leaving so soon and they agree to have a fling… but feelings happen and it’s inconvenient!!!

I like imagining Alec walking Magnus to his classes when he’s stayed over the night before (Magnus teaches history in this, I feel it). And maybe on mornings he wasn’t at Magnus’ he does a little detour on his morning run to buy him breakfast and he leaves it in his office during the 8am lecture that Magnus hates so that he’ll have something nice after that hardship, a little muffin and a coffee with a cute note on the cup ‘cause Alec is sappy af even though he tries very hard to hide it. And maybe he buys Magnus peonies at some point, just because they’re pretty and Magnus is pretty and he’s never bought flowers for anyone before and he wanted to… And Magnus keeps teasing him flowers are not casual Mister!! because it’s easier to flirt and tease than to acknowledge the fact that Alec is leaving really soon and he might not come back, and Magnus isn’t even important enough to be considered someone he’s leaving behind (or at least that’s how he feels). Magnus tries not to think about it but he’s obsessing over the idea that he doesn’t even know Alec’s family and friends, doesn’t know anyone who would tell him if something happened??? But he doesn’t want to bring it up because it’s supposed to be casual and meaningless, something that ends when the semester ends. So they keep going on dates and Alec cooks for him and Magnus tries to ignore the uneasy feeling growing in his chest as time flies too fast. Until there aren’t any time left and Alec is leaving. So they take a walk just like their first date and they have ice cream and they make love and they definitely don’t talk about it even though they both know that they should and Alec just… leaves. 

And Magnus tries not to have a hard time about it but it’s tough and he’s grateful it’s the end of the semester ‘cause at least he’s busy between marking terrible essays and correcting exams. He goes out with his friends from the history department once they’re all done and he tries to have a fun time, but truth is… he’s worried. He starts watching the news a little too obsessively and his friends don’t like it but he can’t help himself. 

Alec has been gone three weeks when the first letter comes. It takes Magnus by surprise at first because in all the times they’ve been together Alec has always been a man of little words. That’s not to say he was emotionally unavailable or unwilling to discuss things and his feelings, but this is new, the way the words flow easily on the page like it was no hardship at all to put it all down, descriptions of his unit and where he is, a full paragraph about how much he misses Magnus’ cat and nothing about them at all. But Magnus gets it, he sees it for what it is, a peace offering maybe or a stubborn unwillingness to let go, so he writes back. He talks about his students, their successes and their struggles, and his friends, little things that have reminded him of Alec since he’s been gone. Soft stories for a soft boy in a hard place. And they keep going back and forth, sending each other little pieces of their respective lives and it should be enough, it’s more than Magnus expected, but it’s tough and he misses Alec like a limb, misses him in his bed and in his kitchen, misses him when summer classes start and he has no one to hold his hand on his way to work, no callused fingers to wrap around his… But every new letter is a blessing. It says many things but underneath it all, the most important message is I’m still here, I’m alive and I’m thinking about you. 

Okay so maybe it all comes to a halt one day when his phone rings and it’s Alec on the line, after all those weeks, all those months, and he sounds like h e l l  and he’s there on the phone, apologizing to Magnus because his phone bill is gonna be awful but I …. I just… I needed to hear your voice Magnus, I’m sorry. You… you c-can send me the bill if you want, I just… and it takes everything Magnus has for him not to break down and cry right there and then because Alec really doesn’t sound okay and he has no idea what happened and he has no idea what they are but that’s his boy there on the phone who’s hurting and he hasn’t heard his voice in weeks… So Magnus is like Please shut up about my phone bill, I don’t give a fuck about that. How are you? Are you okay? What happened? And Alec is reluctant to talk about it, doesn’t want to give any details, just keeps saying rough day, Magnus, rough day in this small voice and Magnus hates it more than he’s ever hated anything in his life. He doesn’t want to push Alec too hard so he just asks what can I do? and he hates the way his voice shakes, he wishes he could be stronger than this but Alec doesn’t seem to mind, he just sighs like he’s tired deep in his bones, deep in his soul, and says: just talk to me. So Magnus does, he rambles on nervously about what he had for breakfast and what he taught today, his lecture plan for tomorrow, his neighbor’s hatred for his cat and his favorite designer on the new season of Project Runway. He just babbles on, hoping it can help. All he wants to do is help. Alec hums here and there, asks a few questions, especially about Magnus’ work and at some point he runs out of things to say. There’s a beat of silence before he whispers I love you and he knows that won’t help but he can’t keep it inside anymore, he can’t live with this trapped inside of him, fighting to break free. Alec sighs again. I.. I w-wish… You… you shouldn’t say that. Don’t say that, please. It shouldn’t take Magnus by surprise but it does and it hurts. Me not saying it won’t make it untrue Alexander. Alec groans in frustration and Magnus can picture it perfectly, the way he’s probably bent over, head between his knees, one hand harshly buried in his hair. I didn’t want to put you through that. I didn’t want to put anyone through that but especially not you. He’s so noble and he’s so caring and Magnus knew that already but it hits him again, hard, that this is a man who puts others before himself every single time and who will fight tooth and nail anyone who dares try taking care of him. So Magnus does his best to sound as stern as he can:  Well just too bad because I’m here and you’re there and I love you. And you wishing it hadn’t happened won’t change anything and if you like me even the tiniest bit you’ll call me again because I have been worried sick. 

Alec calls every week after that. There’s a new kind of anxiety that comes with waiting for the phone call, waiting for the confirmation that Alec is okay, but Magnus is happy to live with it when it means he can hear Alec’s voice once a week, warm and soft when he asks Magnus what he’s been up to and insists to be put on the phone with the cat. I don’t want him to forget me! 

That boy. 

They don’t talk about what they are again and it takes until Alec is back on American soil, his head buried in Magnus’ neck so no one can see him cry, for him to say I love you back, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need it. For now, Magnus cherishes every time his phone rings and he gets connected to Alec, he cherishes every time he can make him laugh, he cherishes every single plan they start making, every single hint that they can have a future together. 

It’s enough. 

I just get so so annoyed by people who come for the Celaena in the first ToG book. People always accuse her of Mary Sueing and not actually being as lethal as she claims and I am like have you considered the following:

-she has spent a year as a slave in Endovier

-she has had to fight every day of that year to remain sane 

-she was whipped. a lot. she was malnourished and weakened when she left the mines.

-it takes her a while to get back into shape after being a slave. like, duh. did you expect her to be killing ppl left and right as soon as she was free?? idk that would unrealistic and isn’t being unrealistic one the things that mary sues get criticized for?? hmmm? like idk u cant have it both ways. 

-the plot of the first book is not about her being an assassin. like, lol, thats part of her past and that is made explicitly clear. can u ppl even read i mean come on

-the plot it literally set up to give us a main character who has an intricate and painful backstory, i mean, her backstory is not completely clear in ToG1, but we do know that Arobyn is a dickhead and Sam is dead and that there is something else horrible lurking in her past. 

-so why are you all surprised when a 16 year old girl is happy to lounge in bed and read and flirt with the crown prince and go to balls

-she has literally been a slave for a year and before that she was an assassin like 

-so like same. fucking same. think about how u would act in her situation. u would flirt with dorian too. and chaol. and u would love nehemia. we all would. 

-can we stop expecting characters who are teenagers to act like they aren’t teenagers

-can u cut teenage girls irl slack as well

-and im sorry was Celaena’s participation in the competition to be the king’s champion not gory enough for you

-i mean is it not enough that she is supposed to kill like 20 other men

-i just…what else is she supposed to do?? she starts to learn about wyrds marks??? she is doing her part to begin the Hero’s Journey™ like ya gotta start somewhere

-again like the plot of tog1 is that she used to be an assassin as in past tense, as in, her assassinating people happened before the beginning of the book not during the book so stop complaining that she doesnt kill enough ppl?? 

-why is whether or not the main character kills anyone a legitimate complaint

-hint: it isn’t.

-there is literally a book called the assassin’s blade that makes her work as an assassin explicitly clear. and she does kill a lot of people. and at this point in time you can read the AB before Tog1 if youd like.

-please dont use the term mary sue to describe female characters. its pretty sexist tbh because we get tons of male characters in fantasy novels written by men who are idealized without ever proving their worth but i only ever see the term applied to teenage girls. like?? have u ever read the name of the wind. it is a bomb book but if u wanna talk about wish fulfillment and mary suing, Kvothe (yes his name is that pretentious) is ur fucking guy. 

-also an integral part of the mary sue trope is that the character is idealized and perfect and uh, Celaena is not perfect. Her flaws are what make her believable. I mean she has had this horrible past and she comes out of it being fairly selfish and a bit cowardly and vain. and thats just…so realistic? I mean that is how you would react if you woke up in a pool of your parents’ blood, were drowned in a river, raised from the age of 8 to be an assassin by an abusive dick wipe who claimed to love you but really just had a creepy crush on you, conditioned to mistrust everyone, had the one person you actually loved in the world be murdered, and then were sold out by your abusive assassin dad to the king who was responsible for your entire family’s death and ended up in the fucking mines as a slave. 

-I see a lot of people say that Celaena is a mary sue and then criticize her for all her flaws and im like…but the mary sue is an idealized character who has no substance to back up their perfection. Celaena cannot be a mary sue and also have all the flaws you claim she has??? that is just false logic?? in fact, Celaena has all of the substance and flaws and life experience to back up her actions and like, none of the perfection. 

-idk what to tell u other than that u have to allow female characters, especially teenage ones, the space to grow? and idk about you but i dont want to read about characters who have zero flaws? I’d rather read about celaena, queen bitchness herself, because hey you know who else is a bitch and immature a lot of the time? Me!!!! Myself!!! 

-But I’ve grown a lot and so does Celaena and idk about you but I am so here for extreme character growth over the course of 6 books like….that is so great…so many authors have flat character growth or no character growth and SJM avoids that completely by giving us a character who has so many issues and ways she could be improving herself.

-stop shitting on celaena for not being the perfect character u want her to be.

-bye. 

some quick random thoughts about the last chapter:

  • naked guan shan is a sight to behold, and it’s not like we didn’t know since old xian loves to draw him in various states of undress (which is still hilarious to me), but d a m n, he is hella build
  • he also looks gorgeous in those white pants
  • actually he looks gorgeous full stop, like srsly sometimes i can’t believe how beautiful guan shan is, his character design is so good
  • guan shan looking up he tian’s horoscope is THE MOST. ADORABLE. THING. EVER. and it clearly shows that guan shan has been thinking about he tian and wants to learn more about him, wants to understand him, and im just!!!! so excited because guan shan’s feeling have been slowly shifting and turning into something more, and seeing his journey into falling in love with he tian is so breathtakingly beautiful HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL
  • “your partner is very tender, soft, sweet, and understanding, will look after you well” [muffled screaming] OKAY LISTEN he tian’s horoscope is making me so emo because he actually is all those things, we got to see it in the way he constantly cares about guan shan, and we didn’t really need a confirmation but im still very grateful that old xian spelled it out like this
  • WHAT IS HE TIAN’S ZODIAC SIGN THO @old xian you can’t have guan shan look it up and not tell us I NEED TO KNOW
  • ….i honestly don’t want to say that guan shan was about to jerk off thinking about he tian but it sure looked like it and my brain short circuited for a while there………….
  • ..was…………was he tian waiting on guan shan’s balcony while guan shan showered and then hiding there until he could make the perfect entrance GOD DAMMIT HE TIAN
  • okay but guan shan’s mom making he tian wait for guan shan in his room and he tian looking around it to learn more about guan shan and then stepping out on the balcony and turning around when he hears guan shan walking in but stopping in his track because guan shan is SHIRTLESS and that wasn’t in the plan and HE NEEDS A MINUTE idk about y'all but im considering this canon
  • GUAN SHAN'S​ RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM IS BEAUTIFUL AND IM CRYING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
  • i fucking knew he tian was smart as hell, and the fact that he just showed up at guan shan’s house to help him study is making me feel stuff because !!!!!!!!!! he cares!!!! about guan shan!!!! so much!!!! he wants guan shan to stay in school and succeed and be the best version of himself because, unlike she li, he knows guan shan has potential and deserves so much more than being used as a scapegoat and he tian just loves him so much IM SHOOK
  • (i honestly want to make an analysis about he tian vs she li so badly, i wish my brain could just work sigh)
  • those last three panels are just so???? cute???? i don’t know, he tian looks adorable in them and their banter feels so comfortable and light-hearted, and i just really love it (im lowkey laughing at guan shan’s punches feeling like a massage to he tian THESE DORKS)
  • (guan shan not looking at he tian in that third to last panel is interesting tho, i wonder if it actually means something or if im reading too much into things as usual)
  • i really REALLY need to see guan shan and he tian studying together and then guan shan’s mom inviting he tian to stay for dinner and the three of them just interacting with each other, it would be SO GOOD and have so much potential to learn more about he tian and guan shan @old xian IM BEGGING YOU (……am i being too greedy??)
  • guan shan’s mom is gonna become the number 1 tianshan shipper just wait for it

anonymous asked:

Ok so I read the anon tag but it's all so vague I can't piece it together. Do you mind recapping it for me everything they've said and if any came true? They said don't be upset but like Elounor pics came out that day so was that suppose to be happy lol? Idk sorry to bug you but could you describe everything so far ://

for the most part, my anon warns about stunt related things, like articles and pap pics. i started getting them at the end of february, and they’ve been fairly consistent with sending them. going through every anon they’ve sent and fact-checking with articles and such would take a very long time.. so here’s a timeline of some of the main things they’ve said and what came true about it:

February 27th: “March 3rd. Be ready :) x”

this was the day we got elounor pap pics at the airport, showcasing them as a couple and confirming the rumors flying around about them getting back together

March 6th: “The contract is ending :) x”

this anon still confuses me a bit.. it’s regarding louis, as they sent me another anon saying “Louis’ . That’s why they are trying to ruin his name. It’s a smear campaign against him.” or i think it was them? this is before we had a system so i could distinguish the fake anons from the real ones

we don’t know specifically what contract it pertains to and if it came true yet. however, this anon was sent just a few hours before we got pap pics of ann marie thompson, head of media at syco, along with a few other lawyers entering louis’ la house. may be related? we probably need to wait on this one a bit

March 6th: “Keep an eye out :) x after tomorrow”

this was send 2 days before the music video for jho. march 7th we found out the music video would be dropping, and then it came out on march 8th. this was sent by a follow up anon saying “Music video :) x” on march 7th and then on march 8th, an anon saying “Did you like it ? :) x”

March 8th: “Its not too much for her. Articles. :) x”

this was the day eleanor left la and was papped. an article that day came out about the incident and how the girl was pressing charges. the next day, we got the article about eleanor leaving la and they used the pap pics. this was

March 9th: “Articles. :) x” and “Briana. :) x”

pap pics (obviously staged) came out of briana and ashley at the park with freddie. pics were used in an article that talked about the airport incident and louis getting back together with eleanor

March 12th: “Trying to make you believe. :) x”

this was sent on the week harry resurfaced in new york. a few days later, harry followed zoe kravitz on instagram so people speculated them being a thing (x), obviously still trying to enforce a womanizer image on him. this is what i think the anon was referring to, but it could mean something else

March 15th: “WTWCD. Third line. :) x” and “Pics :) x”

i received some song recommendations earlier on anon (the 14th), all of them being rolling stones songs. one of the songs was ‘when the whip comes down.’ the third line of that song is “i was a gay in new york.” later that night, harry took fan pictures at a restaurant in new york. this happened at like 1-2 am on the 15th

March 15th: “Pics. :) x” and “Sunglasses. :) x”

a few hours after getting these anons, harry was papped at an airport in new york, heading back to LA. the previous night he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses on the top of his head, but that night he brought them back

March 16th: “Gym. :) x”

fans spotted harry going to the gym later that morning in london. he did not take any fan pics

March 20th: “Girl. x”

the next day, eleanor and louis papped at james arthur concert. fan pics taken as well and there were rumors that louis and eleanor were kissing

March 21st: “Articles. :) x”

articles come out on the 22nd using the pap pics taken at the james arthur concert

March 22nd: “Buckle up, love x”

harry announces on march 25th his first single to be released on april 7th. ad for it is dropped, theme on twitter is changed, and he posts 3 white squares on instagram. website linked in bio on twitter

April 3rd: “Don’t be upset, Friday. x”

this can be interpreted two different ways.. one of which being, don’t be upset because harry is releasing his music on friday. one of the lines after all is “just stop your crying.” but it could also mean shit’s gonna happen, don’t be upset though. we did get pap pics of elounor at louis’ house so it could be this as well

April 9th: “A.K.J.Z. :) x”

so i was confused what this meant at first but then i figured out that it meant alicia keys jay z… they sing the song empire state of mind, which is about new york. i got this anon late on april 9th and then on april 10th, harry flew into new york city and we got pics of it on april 11th

hopefully this helps. i tried to be as specific as i could but i haven’t really kept track up to this point so i may have left a few things out. smiley anon is pretty helpful, wouldn’t you say so? :)

A Kaneki/Touka parallel to Guts/Casca’s descent into Hell from Berserk?

Okay so, I actually got a few questions on the subject and I didn’t see anyone making a post about it (please tell me if someone actually did), so I might as well write one quickly. Apologies in advance for those I might slightly spoil about Berserk.


Death flag. I think that’s one of the words I saw the most everywhere that I looked today and frankly, even though I’m generally not bothering so much with death flags, I kind of have to admit that I got worried after reading this chapter because, well, it’s TG. And Ishida-sensei. So we’re used to crazy and violent things happening, especially right after something sweet occured.

But what’s the link with Berserk? 

Well, first of all, Sensei made several references to Berserk before, mainly through Amon’s character (please see the following posts: [x] [x]), that were explicit enough to think that he might be a fan of the series. 

Second thing, for those who are not familiar with it, Berserk is the story of Guts, a mercenary, who was once sacrificed by his close “friend” so that the latter could be reborn as a very powerful demon entity. Obviously that kind of broke their friendship, especially since the other dude didn’t just try to sacrifice Guts, but also cursed and heavily abused Casca, Guts’ lover, leaving her with a big trauma towards men as well as a regression into insanity.

So anyway (please read Berserk), when it comes to the link between that and :Re ch125, it turns out that a little before Guts and Casca went through absolute hell, they had the opportunity to share a very sweet and intimate moment, exactly like it happened between Touka and Kaneki for this week’s chapter…

…A moment that resulted of Guts and Casca honestly talking for the first time in a while and finally admitting to their feelings for each other, so again, a little like it happened between Kaneki and Touka ever since ch122. 
EDIT: @lilylunac also saw the similarities between the two scenes! :)

Now obviously TG =/= Berserk, Kaneki =/= Guts, Ishida =/= Miura, but the two sensei still have this shared enjoyment that is to constantly inflict pain to their main character as they make them go through many hardships and, as I was saying above, the fact that so many TG readers are now bracing themselves for something terrible to happen, because ch125 was really sweet and positive in comparison to a lot of shit that Kaneki (and Touka) went through, makes me think that we learnt our lesson long ago.

So yes, as it happens, daily happiness never really lasts for long in TG, especially not when Kaneki still has a lot of personal issues to sort out and a lot of self-reflection to do (and especially not when the current main villain is aiming to fly the TG plane into an ocean of blood), but guess what, it’s exactly the same for Berserk, happiness never lasts long for Guts either. 

So, it is very probable that shit will go down soon in TG, if just because we could have an arc paralleling the Anteiku raid arc next, as many fans already explained and as Juuzou also implied…

…which would make the new relationship between Kaneki & Touka (and the sweet chapter of this weekend) the last positive moment to behold (both for us fans and for Kaneki) before Kaneki, Touka and the rest of Kaneki’s side might be separated and hurt/injured by Furuta’s side. 

To be honest, I have no idea where TG will start again next week, but here’s what I understand from the recent developments:

  • Furuta has Kanou and Kanou’s future dead army
  • Furuta has the Oggai
  • Furuta has V on his side (as far as we know)
  • Furuta has a good part of the CCG still ready to obey his command
  • Furuta is loved by most of the public opinion in TG (those fanclubs :/)
  • The Clowns might fight for Furuta’s side again (unsure)
  • A parallel to the Anteiku raid arc would mean a lot of blood and possible deaths
  • Furuta wants to watch the world burn and for Kaneki to die

Meanwhile Kaneki…

  • has issues to solve and for now doesn’t make for a good leading figure as the OEK
  • has less manpower than Furuta and way less deadly weapons (as far as we know)
  • is supposedly dead for a good part of the world, which means he can’t really gain new allies amongst ghouls
  • might be joined by the Clowns at some point (unsure)
  • might have CCG deserters (Juuzou, Urie and co) joining him (unsure again)
  • also Mutsuki is a bit insane and has a real grudge against Touka, which means they’ll face off again, definitely

TL;DR Kaneki doesn’t have the odds in his favor, for now at least, especially since he doesn’t really appear to have a good plan, which is why an arc similar to the Anteiku raid one definitely sounds like bad news and a lot of pain. 

To be honest, I don’t know if Sensei really decided to include explicit lovemaking between Kaneki and Touka before shit might really go down as a parallel to Berserk and Guts/Casca, or if he found that the idea of a young love being tried by all sorts of madness was simply interesting, but… there is one more possible parallel that made me think of Gutsca, as I read the new :Re chapter. 

See, it’s a spoiler (sorry :/) but Guts and Casca actually conceived a child during that one moment of bliss that they shared, a child that unfortunately got cursed to have a really sad fate, and it just so happens that the cover of :Re ch122…

… triggered many theories about Touka possibly becoming pregnant, with the pregnancy unfortunately not going and ending very well (please read these posts [x] [x]).

Personally, I don’t really have much of an opinion about a possible pregnancy, if just because I don’t know if Kaneki can even reproduce in the first place (that is a very debated question within the fandom), but I have to admit that the pregnancy idea crossed my mind during ch125 more than it did with ch122 because…

So in conclusion, I can’t be certain that Sensei was influenced by Berserk when he decided to write ch125, but I suppose that it could be a possibility considering that he added references to Berserk before. I guess it might depend on what happened next in :Re and on if Touka actually becomes pregnant or not. Also please note that this is a possible parallel of situation, not a parallel of dynamics or of characters. 

I hope this post was informative for the few people who were interested by the subject. Feel free to ask if anything is unclear!

Why Vmin are called the “Soulmate Couple”

Long post

Before I get into this, I’d like to say, that this will provide examples as to how amazingly close vmin are to being considered real life soulmates. It’ll also help anyone who wants to know about vmin’s relationship and how close the two actually are. But overall, it’ll definitely explain why some of the fandom refers to them as already soulmates. Whether it’s viewed platonically or romantically:)

Okay here we go. Pray for me to be able to get all of this in one post.

Keep reading

@yuriplisetsky is a size queen

Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky

2,900 words

“What are you talking about?”

“Your Twitter? Your thread that spends about ten tweets waxing poetry about the size of my dick? Everyone’s talking about it, the fans are going crazy, I had Victor ringing me up half an hour ago to ask if it was true and if I really had deflowered Russia’s Fairy like that, and I just – what the hell were you thinking, Yuri?”

In which Yuri gets drunk and Tweets some things he probably shouldn’t have.

AO3 link


So @94mercy made this post that headcanoned that Yuri gets drunk one night and talks about the size of Otabek’s dick on social media, and I immediately knew I had to write it. Otherwise known as me just wanting to join in with all the hung!Otabek content that’s been coming out of this fandom in recent weeks. 

(Also tagging @daddybek because that’s where this all started back in February)


They’ve been dating for a few months when it happens.

Yuri goes round to Mila’s for a few drinks after practice one day, and they steadily make their way through a bottle of vodka, laughing and talking about their respective partners. The music is loud and Yuri feels all loose and giggly as he reaches for his phone, taking selfies and documenting their escapades on Snapchat. He’s never been this drunk before, so drunk he’s not even sure what order his memories from the last few hours go in, so drunk that he can barely stand, so drunk that the room is spinning.

He sits down and opens Twitter, starting to type. He doesn’t even think about what he’s Tweeting, just starts a thread and keeps on going until he gets it all off his chest. Mila is grabbing at his hands and pulling him up so they can dance together again, and Yuri’s phone lies on the couch, forgotten.

So he doesn’t see what he’s done until morning.

Keep reading

catfish- jared k. x soulmate!reader (part one)

YA GAL EL IS BACK WITH ANOTHER SHITTY FIC HEYO

also wtf tris is the SWEETEST PERSON on the planet she deserves all the love in the world and more. so this is dedicated to @pacman-tattoo thank u for the inspo <3

basically it’s a soulmate au, the one where u write something on your skin and it appears on your soulmates skin too and i love jared kleinman so here is a gender neutral jared x reader for y'all!

(also i did research and since benj pasek based deh on something in his personal life and he was born in pennsylvania im assuming deh takes place there)

my masterlist!  part two!

warnings: swearing (surprise surprise!), uh angst? fluff?, mention of genitals/nudes ’,:) it’s like pg-13 dw, incorrect grammar, shitty writing, i say “you” WAYYY too much even tho it’s an x reader and thAtS the PoiNt

word count: 3,182

(one last thing: jared is bolded and you are italic)


You always thought that whole ‘soulmate’ thing was bullshit.

You thought that whenever you found random things written on your arm it was your brother playing a weird prank on you.

But then ‘the talk’ came…

Because no one really addresses soulmates, it’s a private thing. You found out your parents weren’t soulmates when you were a kid so you know it’s a sensitive topic for them and never brought it up out of respect.

Once you learned about it, you realized your soulmate had been trying to talk to you for a long time and you never responded. Then you continued not responding because 'what if they thought I was rude for never writing back?’ even though, most of the time, it was just little notes to themselves.

So ever since then, you’ve been petrified of writing on yourself. Just the anxiety of the potential rejection from the one and only person the universe thinks you’re perfect for was enough to make you not even want to touch a pen. You’ve been told it’s irrational but isn’t the whole thought of soulmates irrational?

But then, as you were about you get into bed, big letters started to appear up your thigh.

Keep reading

Lovebug [e.h x reader]

Pairing: Evan Hansen x Reader

warnings: fluff, idk maybe some swearing?? doubt it though.

Word count: 1,028

Requested?: lol no

oh my goodness, im back! and its with evan!!! I just really like this song and Evan would be so cute in the situations so i was just like ‘why not bih??’ anyway, i think its cute so i hope you enjoy it!

Lovebug by The Jonas Brothers song AU 💓🐞

xoxo cass


Called her for the first time yesterday
Finally found the missing part of me
Felt so close but you were far away
Left me without anything to say

You told him to call you. You came to him! So he should press the call button, right? Your number was right there on his cast under Connors signature. ‘He ignored all the ‘what ifs’ swirling in his mind and focused his attention back at the glowing number on his phone. Just click the button, Evan!

“Hello?” your voice rang through his phone and he immediately relaxed a little at the sound of you.

“Hey, its um, it’s Ev-Evan! You uh, told me to call you so… here we are” he rambled off in between nervous laughs.

“Oh, hey! What’s up?” Your voice brightened up and he heard your smile through the phone.

It felt like you were right there with him somehow and for once, he didn’t feel nervous talking to someone. Maybe it was the phone barrier that made him feel less self-conscious or maybe it was the fact that you seemed genuinely happy to hear from him, it made the butterflies in his stomach dance wildly.

Keep reading

the promised Moriel fluff for @highfaelucien! thanks 2 @pterodactylichexameter for the suggestion. YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME FOR ALL THE ANGST NOW, THAT’S THE RULES. >:)

——————————–

Az has more secrets than anyone in Velaris, but Mor’s never seen him like this about one before. It’s subtle, as Az is wont to be—Mor might not pick up on it if she didn’t know him as well as she does—but he’s reveling in it; a smirk plays at his lips, his eyes glint in smug satisfaction as he watches her silently try to form a guess.

There’s someone I’d like to you meet, his note had said, with a request for her to come over. So Mor had knocked on the door of his condo by the river for a drink she’s almost finished with. But he still hasn’t given any indication yet who he meant, and the mystery is slowly eating at her. Is it an old friend? A lover? She cracks first, bringing it up before he does.

“I think you enjoy keeping me in suspense a little too much,” she says playfully, swirling the remains of her wine in its glass.

Az gives a arch smile into his whiskey, elbows rested on his thighs where he sits on the couch. His shadows swirl languidly around him, content. “Can you blame me? The Morrigan knows all, it’s fun to see you squirm for once.”

Mor gives a soft, surprised laugh: he really is in a good mood. Az doesn’t often flirt with her, in any traditional sense; he tends to vacillate between stoic loyalty and broken devotion. It’s a delight to see him truly relaxed, but even if she’s hardly ever felt possessive of Azriel—and she shouldn’t, for cauldron’s sake, they’re not together—the evidence of how happy this mystery person clearly makes him sends a little twinge to her gut. She does her best to ignore it.

“Az, come on—who am I meeting?” She insists good-naturedly, reaching to touch his arm, “I’m dying to know. Five hundred years of you keeping your lovers secret and there’s finally one you want us to meet, they must be—“

Az bursts out in choking laughter, putting his drink down so he doesn’t spill it. “You think I asked you to come over so you could meet my secret lover?”

“Or—I don’t know, a friend, maybe—“ Az is still laughing, and Mor has to laugh too at his reaction, gestures wildly. “But what was I supposed to think?”

“Alright, I—“ he tries to collect himself, chuckling. “I surrender. I’ll go get her.”

Mor has a moment to sit in her own bewilderment—it’s a her? She’s here? She hears him murmur sweetly from around the corner, and it compounds her confusion until she sees him return.

Mor can’t help but let out a little delighted gasp. “Az, you got a cat?”

Azriel is grinning, and in his arms is a tawny bundle of fluff who blinks sleepily in Mor’s direction. “This,” he takes her tiny little paw with his free hand and waves it in Mor’s direction, “Is Sacha.”

Mor squeals girlishly, is crossing the room to fawn over the little angel before he even finishes saying her name. “She’s precious,” Mor coos as she pets her.

“I woke her up from a nap to meet you, so she’s a little tired.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Sacha,” Mor whispers sweetly, “You’re much cuter than any of Az’s lovers would be.”

He laughs, and Mor’s heart swells—she’s more relieved than she might have guessed that this is the secret. And his clear adoration for the kitten is as adorable as the kitten itself.

“Here, sit down,” He prompts her. “She’s a lap cat.”

Mor complies and Azriel gently puts Sacha next to her on the couch—sure enough, she yawns with her little pink mouth, and, after a moment of investigation, decides to pad her way into Mor’s lap, a warm little weight that starts to purr furiously. Sacha’s small but almost grown, though still possessed of kitten gangliness and big liquid eyes.

Mor melts, stroking her downy fur. “Az, she’s perfect.”

The smile that spreads across Az’s face is like honey, slow and sweet, and it makes Mor feel warm down to her toes.

“Do you want to see the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life?” He asks, almost conspiratorial. He murmurs to one of his shadows, and it snakes out, runs across the floor—

The kitten perks up immediately in Mor’s lap.

She laughs as the shadow wiggles and dances, and the kitten takes off after it, on the hunt as Az directs it across the room, under chairs and over tables, Sacha pouncing and bounding after it. Her paws swipe uselessly through the darkness when she catches it, and Az is right—it’s the cutest thing Mor’s ever seen.

soft-smoll  asked:

What would the RFA dress up as for Halloween?

° a|n: i’m going to say what they’d dress up as + what they’d do heh
+++ have a happy spoopy halloweeeen  (*≧∇≦)°

PREPARE FOR ANGST SOON 

° Yoosung

  • Halloween is is favourite time of the year because he can go dressed out as whatever he wants!!
  • but most importantly
  • COUPLE!! HALLOWEEN!! OUTFITS!!
  • HE CAN FINALLY PROVE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND [no one believes him]
  • he wants to show his ‘manliness[okay qt] so he dresses up as a LOLOL warrior - buuuut he doesn’t buy his costume no
  • apart from him being broke - he wants to make the costume at home
  • asking you for help you both spend weEKS on the costume making sure everything is perfect down to the T
  • all the SMALLEST details are covered, he even asks you to plan his hairstyle for the day
  • ….you guys are co-ordinated as fUCK
  • “Yoosung.. you have’t done any of your college work..”
  • “THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT”
  • so when the college Halloween party actually arrives he flips the fuck out and he’s ready to show you off to the world \ (•◡•) /
  • stays by your side the WHOLE time telling everyone you’re his girlfriend
  • and we’re totally partners in LOLOL too who’s jealous??
  • “…nO Yoosung we can’t fight the other people no matter how much stronger we are together seriously for the last tIME”
  • “YOU’VE TOLD THAT GUY WE’VE BEEN DATING 3 TIMES”
  • “but does he know that we’re actually dating anD OW OKAY DON’T PINCH ME” [tough warrior my ass]
  • after he’s proven to everyone he has a girlfriend he gets bored
  • so you both end stealing sweets from the bar countertop and shoving them in your pockets - you need SOME candy right??
  • escape the hall with a trail of sweets falling out behind you
  • end up changing out of your outfits and going home to change into my comfortable clothes and playing games while munching sweets
  • NO HORROR MOVIES
  • he freaks out despite saying he’s okay - but you know better
  • so you suggest video games and that was the end to the perfect night

° Zen

  • Beauty and the Beast but the hella sexy version
  • he wanted to showcase his good looks and you got to also be by his side wearing a sexy outfit [goals]
  • originally you were supposed to wear a cute dress as the beauty
  • buuuut seeing Zen wear an unbuttoned shirt made you think twice
  • the second he sees you in a sexy revealing dress his heart drops out his ass
  • HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SEXY ONE BUT HE COULDN’T SPEAK LOOKING AT YOU
  • and holy fuck why do you have a whip what kinda princess-
  • “what.. you look um I uh”
  • he’s speechless?? [srsly well done he’s never speechless]
  • you’re usually quite conservative but christ you’ve got it going on tonight?? can halloween be every day I can offer you my soul
  • takes muscle in his body to actually leave the house without taking you there and then - just wait for later
  • you know that one couple that just kinda does their own thing in the corner - yeah thats you guys he’s super protective
  • LOTS of couple mirror selfies at the venue and its super cute as you have literally 1000 photos of him kissing your cheek 
  • he totally didn’t to that on purpose to feel ur ass cheeky bastard
  • but mf almost turned into an acTUAL BEAST WHEN SOMEONE APPROACHED YOU 
  • “ZEN ITS OKAY HE JUST ASKED ME ABOUT SOME PROJECT DUE TOMMOROW”
  • “yeah.. he better be, eyes off her legs” UHH ZEN??
  • he can’t take his eyes off you even when you try get a drink - he’s walked into 4 people and knocked their drinks over
  • wanting to take advantage of his flustered self you make sure he has a clear view of you dancing while he’s talking to his friends
  • splutters on his beer what the hELL ARE YOU DOING??
  • lol ur screwed when u get home literally
  • he gets up grabs your arm making you follow him outside
  • you already know where this is going you wanted this

° Jaehee

  • pooooor bubba - almost had a heart attack when you scared her as she woke up on Halloween
  • refuses to go out to a party and don’t even get me started on trick-or-treating hell no what no waY??
  • BUT she really can’t resist your pouty face and agrees to dress up with you as LONG as no one else sees [..you can always take secret pics??]
  • so you both dress up as the main leads in Zen’s movie - and one of them so happens to be a maid
  • BAEHEE IN A MAID COSTUME BYE MY SOUL SEE U IN HELL
  • she helps you decorate the house a bit so that when people coming knocking on your door later she has enough to give to everyone
  • seriously - she’s stressed out she doesn’t have enough
  • “…we have 27 tubs of sweets.. that’s more than enough Jaehee”
  • she can’t help but glance at herself in the mirror a few times in her cute lil outfit - why didn’t she do this before?
  • even makes Halloween themed pastries to give out to the children at the door and spends hOURS decorating them 
  • so by the end of the night you’re piled around tubs of sweets and pastries - nice work mum
  • SHE’S! SO! CUTE! TO! THE! KIDS!
  • she was expecting them to be super annoying and cruel but she can’t help but smile giving out candy to children with you
  • can’t help but frown when she sees a cat though
  • when night falls and everyone’s gone home you have a few leftover sweets 
  • so she makes both of you some pumpkin flavoured drinks [she’s really into halloween now?? wahEY]
  • that night you took a million pictures of Jaehee serving children at your front door and in her costume and sent it to eVERYONE
  • ZEN WAS SO HAPPY [back off boi]
  • but Jaehee was also super happy and but wouldn’t admit it - she was already planning next year’s outfit and treats 
  • (◕‿◕✿)

° Jumin

  • you know him, he’s willing to try what you want to try 
  • so when you explain Halloween to him he’s super confused since he’s never really understood the concept of it before
  • but he willingly accepts to do the ‘traditions’ with you
  • “…But why do they carve pumpkins?”
  • “It’s scary”
  • “No.. it just looks tacky and why do they” LISTEN M8 IDK!!!
  • but he agrees to help out because this was a day he could wear his cat ears and collar that was in his cupboard without being judged
  • YES
  • decorating the house he goes above and beyond - why are you putting up fake spiderwebs, we can just get rea- 
  • NOT THAT FAR BUDDY - WE DON’T MESS WITH SATAN
  • explaining ‘trick or treat’ to him would be so funny because he wouldn’t understand why you’d ask other people for sweets??
  • “can’t people just buy and keep their own sweets this is giving me a headache”
  • you DRAG him to a house to do trick or treat and he gets so red and embarrassed he literally runs home - nope not doing this again evER
  • next stage: eating sweets
  • you give him some the single sweet he managed to collect from the house and it’s a ‘sour ball’ HIS! FACE! IS! SO! F U N N Y
  • he’s starting to think Halloween is just torture
  •  why do commoners do this I’m going insane why am I dating MC
  • last part of the day is you watching scary movies together
  • BUT  his mind is blown at the fact you want to torture yourself like this you don’t even like scary movies what is this??
  • he doesn’t even flinch at the horror movies but ends up pulling you to his chest when you jump in fear and reassures you its a film
  • such a tiring day??
  • but it was all worth it when you Jumin and Elly took a ‘family’ selfie with kitten ears [not him, you did or else i’d be blurry af]
  • “.. so does this Halloween occur every year?”
  • bonus: Zen dying at the video of Jumin saying trick or treat in a mono-tonal voice and the person at the door laughing at his costume poor bby

Saeyoung

  • the devout catholic wants to dress up as an angel 
  • NAAAH THATS MY COSTUME GIVE IT BACK MAKE UR OWN
  • you bicker about who would be a cuter angel [he would]
  • so he decides to make a costume one last minute and keeps it a surprise from you and reveals it in the evening
  • its a 2D car made out of cardboard with two cutouts so that you both could see and while walking 
  • “GET IN LOSER WE’RE GOING SHOPPING TRICK OR TREATING”
  • such fuCKING DORKS - you’re wearing a onesie underneath too jesus
  • tbh I don’t think you’ll ever see Saeyoung happier than he is now?
  • you’re the oldest people who are outside knocking on other people’s door but you’re also the happiest
  • you have b u c k e t s of sweets and you ignore all the weird ass looks everyone else is giving you [kids envy you]
  • “BEEP BEEP”
  • “SAEYOUNG YOU CAN’T HONK AT PEOPLE THATS RUDE
  • at one point some kid tries takes one of Saeyoung’s buckets and he was about to go crazy
  • you had to calm him down before he actually chased the kid but he was pouty for the rest of the night - besides you had about 8 buckets
  • the car outfit was a great idea but it had a few ..problems?
  • “SHIT MC I NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET”
  • “you’re mAD IF YOU THINK IM GOING INTO THE MENS TOILET”
  • .. and that was the first time you ever walked into the mens toilet but you were t r a u m a t i z ed 
  • you’re the last ones out giggling on the streets until you’ve literally covered the whole neighbourhood
  • another struggle of the car was actually getting through the door and you’re both pressed up against each other trying to get though
  • “MOVE YOUR FAT SIDE MIRROR MC
  • “IT’S YOUR FUCKING MIRROR YOU IDIOT”
  • eventually you just break the cardboard car and tip the sweets on to the floor settling down to watch a movie
  • don’t get me wrong you’re both REALLY scared of horror movies so you both end up not sleeping 
  • you just scream at every stupid jumpscare until dawn while eating a l l the sweets you collected until dawn
  • “I’m never.. eating sweets again”
In this Heat [M]

Originally posted by itslikevelvet

Featuring:  One [Jung Jaewon]

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Word count: 2,281

Request:  Anonymous said: Jaewon + smut: we’ve been close friends for several years. One hot summer day we’re at a fair/carnival/out on the town. I’m eating a popsicle and he can’t stop staring at my full lips. He cuts the day short to take me to his place and he gets really close. Light kissing leads to heavy petting and from there it’s gets serious.[Feel free to change it up but thank you you for all your hard work and great writing]

anonymous said: Can i have jaewon scenario request : the morning after a fluffy smut. 

A/N: This has a similar theme to my other scenario You & I so feel free to read you & I as an epilogue to this scenario, I guess you can say this is the prelude to you & I.

  An attempt to squeeze 2 request into 1 one-shot idk if it’s working


Jaewon wasn’t sure just what had gotten into him but he couldn’t keep his focus and his eyes in front of him. Maybe it was this severe heat wave that was messing with his head or maybe it was that v-neck dress you had on, or the way you looked so damn cute whenever you looked up at him…
“Jaewon! Let’s get on that ride!” you snapped him out of his thoughts before they could give way to the perverse thoughts secretly lingering in the back of his mind, that even he wasn’t aware of; as you tugged on his hand and pointed at the ferris wheel.
You hadn’t given him the time to respond, as you excitedly took the lead and kept on going on; about how nice the view from the peak height was going to be.
“Hurry Jaewon! The line isn’t that long, hurry before people beat us to the line and then we’ll have more time to get on all the rides and maybe even get to go around a second time.” you enthusiastically told Jaewon your plan.
He let out that all too familiar chuckle, “I think we’ll have plenty of time to go around a second time if you want, I don’t think many people are willing to be out in this heat wave.”
“It’s rush hour so people are just now making their way over, it’s gonna get packed in about an hour. Besides this heat wave isn’t as bad as the news makes out to be, we’ll live!”

“I guess this isn’t something a slushy or ice cream can’t fix.”

“I slushy actually sounds really good right now. So slushy now or after the ride?”

“Slushy now, meanwhile we wait in line.” he suggested.

You kept your place in line while you waited for Jaewon to come with your ice cold beverages, luckily it wasn’t a long wait; soon enough you were on the ferris wheel taking pictures together and of the view.
After that you both went running around trying to get on as many rides possible before the lines would get packed, which included the flying swings, bumper cars, even as reluctant as Jaewon was he eventually agreed to join you on the merry-go-round.
“Oh come on Jaewon, cheer up. Have some fun.” you encouraged as he stood next to your horse as he had refused to get on one of his own.
“This isn’t my image.” he rebutted.
“What image?”
He feigned hurt as he placed a hand over his heart and sighed, “Do you always have to come for me?”
“I wasn’t, it was a genuine question.” you batted your eyelashes, it was always a habit of yours to push Jaewon’s buttons.
The ride came to an end and you guys continued walking around looking for what to do. You quickly stopped in your tracks when you came across a dart throwing game, and you couldn’t get your eyes off of one of the prizes; a huge white fluffy plush teddy bear with a pink bow tie around its neck.
“You know it’s a scam right?” you heard Jaewon whisper in your ear from behind you.
“Jaewon~” you called out to him as you turned and he already knew what you were up to, yet pretended he didn’t have a clue.
“What do you suppose a friend could do for their friend after they miss their birthday party… not just friends, best friends. And said best friend didn’t show up to their best friend’s birthday party?” you said as you attempted to give him your best puppy eye look.

“ I told you something came up and didn’t I agree to come out in this heat wave and go on the merry-go-round with you already?
…. fine just don’t look at me like that.” he protested. The longer you looked at him that way, the more he could feel you pulling at his heartstrings little by little.

“Thanks!”
He tried his luck at this so called scam dart game, he wasn’t all that bad, 7 out of the 10 shots.

Jaewon went to collect his prize, upon receiving it he held it out to you, “Well it isn’t the grand prize but it’s something.”
You were gleaming with happiness as you took it from his hands “Thank you Jaewon! It’s perfect, I don’t think I could have carried that huge teddy bear any ways but this one is the perfect size.” You held the medium sized replica of the huge plush bear close in your arms and squeezed it. “Aw, it’s so soft~.”

You guys continue walking around looking for things to do, at this point the heat was really starting to get to you; you attempted to fan yourself with your hands to no avail.

“Maybe we should call it a day?” Jaewon spoke up noticing you were struggling to keep cool.

“ Trying to get rid of me already?” you said playfully.

“You caught me .”

You gasped at his answer.
“I’m kidding, calm down.”

“The heat getting to you already?”

“I’m not the one who nearly got heat stroke last year and needed an IV drip.”

“Touchè, you’re getting better with your comebacks. That was kind of a low blow.” you admitted.

“It was a joke, my bad. I’ll make it up to you, I’ll buy you ice cream on the way home and we can watch a movie at my place, your pick.”

“Throw in some popcorn and some snacks and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Deal.”

Keep reading

New York // Part 1

hi. um, sorry I haven’t been really active on here, I didn’t have any motivation to do any of the texts or write one shots or anything like that. although after Harry’s performance on snl I was like yanno what I really wanna write somet about it so here it is. well, the first part. I am planning on writing the part where he’s on set and stuff I just kinda had to intro the whole thing plus I guess it was about time I posted somet as well. hope you enjoy it, make sure to tell me if you have any ideas or if I should start one shots which are continueous? I’ve seen some people do that and it seems interesting, it’s not so much as a fanfiction because the events wouldn’t be happening after each other but they would have some connection. wow I’m rambling but tell me what you think! happy easter guys! 🐰 oh and you can follow me on my main blog which is hesasnowflake bc i kinda got back onto it? idk up to you. oh that’s also my twitter if you wanna give me a cheeky follow lmao shameless promo x have fun reading this tho also idk when part 2 will be out so keep an eye on this blog or just turn the post notifications on. lotta love, xoxo -b

PART 2

Travelling was always one of my favourite things to do and so when it meant it will excuse me from doing other things I was supposed to, I just loved it that much more. Working on assignments wasn’t near as much fun as packing a suitcase, getting a plane ticket then driving to the airport and getting on a plane to get somewhere else in the world.

Honestly, there was nothing better.

Even though many people don’t like long flights I personally enjoyed it. I liked going on different planes, experiencing different journeys with different people. I know I might sound like a right weirdo at this moment and time but I’m only telling you the truth.

And so going back to the beginning, where I was saying I loved travelling just a little bit more when it meant I didn’t have to do certain things – well, at least for a little while – that was exactly the situation I was in right now.

My luggage was already checked in and I went through security as well so I had the chance to get myself a nice cup of coffee from Starbucks with a sandwich which I ate at one of the tables there. Feeling extra happy, I pulled my phone out of my hoodie pocket and pressed down on the button on the device so that my screen lit up. A smile made its way onto my face as I saw unread messages from my best friend who also happened to be my boyfriend.

Harry: you’re still coming right? I’m absolutely flipping nervous

Harry: oh crap I’ve gotta go, we’re doing an intro ad thing for the show. see you soon hopefully. love you x

A light chuckle left my lips as I clicked out of the message and opened another one from my lovely mother who was asking me if I made it onto the plane yet or if I’m still at home, lying around on the couch. Well what can I say I was never one to leave in time or make it in time to somewhere therefore I wasn’t surprised when I saw her messages.

Instead of texting her back, at which I was absolutely terrible but I think that was already shown when I never answered Harry, I clicked on her contact name and called her.

“Hey love, are you at the airport yet? Are you all checked in, yeah?” she asked me straight away, not even letting me take a breath before she flooded me with her questions.

But I guess mums will always be like this, right? And I should be grateful she’s like this with me because most children don’t have the opportunity to have a good relationship with their mothers or parents in general. 

“Hi mother, yes, I am at the airport and yes I am checked in,” I laughed as I lifted my cup full of hot coffee which may I add very rarely drank. I wasn’t the biggest fan of coffee but I needed it in that moment.

“Very well then,” she sighed. I heard soft clicking noises in the background so I knew she was working on something like she always did. It was as if she never stopped. If she wasn’t at work she was cleaning the house, the garden or doing extra work at home. I guess you could say she was really work-orientated, she liked keeping herself busy at all times. “Have you talked to Har yet?”

“Hmm,” I hummed as a huge smile appeared on my face again. My mum and dad called Harry “Har” and he loved it and it just made me very-very happy because they got along so well. “Although he had stuff to do so we didn’t talk on the phone.”

“Right, he is a busy man, isn’t he?”

“He is,” I agreed. “Anyways, I think I should get my laptop out and do some work so I don’t have to do all of it when I get back. I know for a fact I’m not gonna do anything while in New York.”

“That’s great thinking, my love. Looks like you inherited some of my drive to do work whenever wherever,” she laughed.

We talked for a few more minutes then she had to excuse herself because she had a Skype interview with one of the applicants or something like that. I guess you could say my mum was a boss-kinda-person at work meaning that she was an important member of the company she worked with.

While I had my laptop open and my drink in my hand I didn’t really do much although I didn’t expect any less or any more from myself. Basically, I just wasted my time until I had to pack my stuff away and get my arse on the plane. Which might I add was happy about. How could I not been happy about it?

Finally, I was going to New York. Not to mention the fact that I was also going to be seeing my amazing boyfriend who I miss very much.

**

Those eight hours on the plane didn’t even do anything to me. Probably because I slept all the way through which was clearly shown in the fact that my phone’s battery was dead since I forgot to plug it in once we were in the air and I was listening to music throughout the journey.

When I got through the security and immigration which was literally the longest bloody thing ever, I got my stuff then sat down inside and got my laptop out. It took me about fifteen minutes to connect to the free Wi-Fi which was terrible on its own so that just added to my stress and small amount of panic which was starting to build up within me.

I had to get a hold of Harry somehow because stupidly enough I didn’t tell him the time my flight would be arriving here and I also didn’t let him buy my tickets. Well, he helped me out because he truly insisted but he just transferred money onto my card, which honestly was more than I needed so I sent it back to him and only used a small amount of it, and I was the one who bought the tickets.

Once I was on the internet, I clicked on my messages which were blowing up, all of them from Harry. I didn’t even bother reading them I just clicked on the little bar and started typing out what I wanted to tell him before that stupid free Wi-Fi cut off.

Me: hii, I’m here and I’m stuck lol. my phone’s dead cos I never charged it on the plane so if you could come get me from the airport that would be lovely. sorry for not telling you when I was landing, I totally forgot. I’ll be outside but don’t bother replying bc the wifi is shit and I’ll probs won’t get your messages. I love you see you soon x

To send that message it took me like another ten minutes and just when I thought it would never go through, it said “Delivered” under it. I felt the built up pressure leave my shoulders as I almost closed my laptop off but then I saw his message pop right up.

Harry: good thing I have amazing connections right? I figured I’d find out when you’ll arrive because I know you and I had a feeling you’d end up stranded at the airport

Me: wait what you spied on me little fucker smh well at least you’re here right I’m really hungry haz hurry up please the wifi will go away pls xxxxxxx

Harry: get up your ass then and come out. I’m in a white Audi right as you come out the sliding glass doors

I smiled reading that message. I didn’t even bother putting my laptop away I just closed it down, put my backpack on my back then with my macbook in one of my hands and my suitcase in the other I started making my way out of the airport.

The sun was brighter than my future in that moment and I absolutely regretted not taking my sunnies out but it didn’t matter too much as soon as I set my eyes on the car which he mentioned in his text.

Squinting, I walked towards the car and as I was about to open the door, the window rolled down at the driver’s seat.

“Hey, what are you doing?” asked the lad as I looked at him, one of my hands coming in contact with my forehead so that I could keep the sun out of my eyes.

I could feel my cheeks heat up as I looked at the stranger, confusion taking over me completely.

“I-I’m so sorry sir, I thought-, my boyfriend,” I stuttered as I didn’t know what the actual hell to say. Was Harry seriously taking the piss? “I’m sorry, I’m going now,” I told the man as I reached out to my suitcase handle then pulled it behind myself.

I couldn’t believe how big of a dick Harry was. Did he find that amusing? Well, knowing his crazy ass he most probably did. And he definitely saw it all happening from one of the cars.

I crossed my arms once I put my laptop away in my backpack and leaned back on the seats. I honestly didn’t find this shit funny at the beginning then as I started to get over it, I begun to chuckle slightly until I realised I was shaking my head and grinning like crazy.

This was not the first time he had played me like that. We’re always like this with each other though. Some people would say we are too immature for our ages but I mean we couldn’t care less about their opinions. This was another reason why we worked so well together with Harry.

“Now that, my friend, was absolutely hilarious!” looking to my left I saw him walking closer, looking bloody gorgeous as always as his deep voice made a few people look at us.

His outfit was full black like always, his skinnies hugging his legs perfectly and his dark coloured shirt was so see-through you could easily make out the butterfly on his tummy and the swallows on his chest. He was fricking perfect and he knew it. Well, I was hoping he did because he was.

He was laughing by the time he got to me and all I did was shake my head and stood up, my hands still folded together and pressed against my chest.

“You’re just so funny, aren’t you?” I asked him, arching a brow while the tone of my voice was nothing but pure sarcasm.

“That I am, baby, that I am,” he smiled as he put his arms out, ready to pull me into a hug and boy did I waste any time? The fuck I didn’t! I almost flew into his arms, my body literally smacking into his and he had to take a few steps back as I basically fell onto him. “I missed you too, love,” he laughed quietly.

His arms wrapped around me in a tight hug, his chin resting on the top of my head then later he pressed a few kisses onto my hair. I hid my face in the crook of his neck as my hands wrapped around it and locked my fingers together at the nape of his neck. I sighed as I let myself melt in his touch, in his hug, in his arms.

“I love you,” I whispered as I pressed my lips against his skin for the shortest second then pressed my temple against his neck before I pulled away.

“I love you more,” he kissed my forehead as he let his hands slip off of me; down my arms and in the end he intertwined our fingers. Bringing them to his lips, he kissed my knuckles while he shut his eyes, not minding one bit that we were still out in the public.

Once he let go of me he took my hand in one of his hand and got my suitcase in the other one. I rolled my eyes as I saw we were nearing a black Audi and not a bloody white one. I could hear him chuckle as he opened the boot and put my luggage in and I just got in the passenger seat at the front.

Soon enough he was sitting next to me, buckling his seatbelt in and starting the car right away.

“Hand?” he held his right hand out to me as he looked to the left to see if any cars were coming and I just had to give in. Making sure my sigh was loud enough, I put my left hand into his and he once again intertwined our fingers. “I’ve gotta nip to the studio real quick to sign some papers with Jimmy. D’you wanna come or should I take you to mine first?”

“Whichever works for me,” I shrugged. “If yours is too out of the way I’ll just go with you and then we can get some food because I’m still starving then go home.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

**

And so that is what we did. Harry quickly went into the studio and he was out within ten minutes. I was dying at that point, my potential jetlag and hunger both doing my head in.

“Okay-okay, what d’you wanna eat, hm?” he asked me as his hand found its home on my thigh, gripping it a bit here and there.

“Dunno, don’t care,” I muttered. “Whatever’s close s’fine by me.”

“I’m guessing you don’t wanna go in, right?” I shook my head no and he hummed in response. “Have you ever had Taco Bell before?”

“Do I look like I spend all my time in America like some poeple?” I asked back sassily. I was tired and hungry with a headache on top. I wanted to cuddle Harry and sleep. And food of course.

“Drop the attitude, sunshine. I’m not up for it.”

“Well I’m not either so that makes two of us,” I told him right away. “Take your hand off of me now and take me home. I can’t be arsed getting food now.”

“Whatever.”

It took us twenty minutes to arrive at Harry’s penthouse that he rented while he was in New York or he owned it. I honestly didn’t have a clue and I couldn’t care less. I wanted a bed and nothing else. I was starting to get in a pissy mood and I didn’t like it because I knew Harry didn’t need my stress on top of his.

Throwing my stuff on the floor I found my way upstairs and into a bedroom which most probably wasn’t the one Harry was staying in because it was way too clean and I didn’t see anything in this room apart from the basics.

Shutting the door behind me rather strongly I plopped down on the bed, slowly crawling under the sheets and putting my head on the pillow. My eyes were shut right away and I felt content. Relaxed. Cool.

In that moment I also knew I should’ve stuck it out, taken my attitude back and get food instead of coming home but oh well. I made a scene already so it didn’t matter. Especially not after I fell into a deep slumber.

C: My mom expects me to babysit my siblings when she’s here AND when she’s gone. I get that she’s aging almost 40, works in retail, and shes too tired to do anything most days but its suffocating to me as well. Today she got mad at me because my little brother got into some cheese she was going to use for dinner and i didnt see him. Long story short, shes too tired to raise my siblings directly and heavily relies on me to supervise them in the way a parent would.

More recently i’ve come to suspect that she didn’t want to have kids when she did and it shows. The signs have always been there, but im only now seeing it. She takes responsibility for her choices but she does nothing about her resentment for having kids early seeping into the way she talks to and treats of us.

On top of that, my older brother whose 21 lives here too but is too selfish for anyone to rely on so it’s just unspoken that nobody can count on him, which makes me take on the load that could have been divided between me and my older brother if he wasnt a selfish irresponsible manchild like the father he and I share.

She coddles him and makes threats she never follows through on but doesn’t want to kick him out because shes afraid of what’s to become of him. He couldn’t care less about what happens to anyone else besides himself and has shown her that for years but yet and still, she stans so hard for him. He couldn’t give a shit if there’s no food in the house, as long as he’s eating. He’s also disrespectful, socially unconscious, misogynistic and trash. I think it’s just time for her to let him go. You can’t help someone who don’t want to be helped or at least show appreciation FOR your help. Some people need to learn lessons the hard way and her protecting him from learning those lessons is harming him more than she thinks it’s helping. But she defends herself by saying that “black families dont stick together” and that “were all we’ve got in this world” and I understand that, but he’s not trying to help anybody, he thinks he can step on everyone’s toes and that everyone is not supposed to say anything about it. There has to be a line drawn when you cut people you love out of your life because they’re harming you; no matter how much you hope they get better. He’s not trying to improve our situation. He’s being part of the problem and he does not care. He does not act like he wants go be a contributing member of this family.

You KNOW you’re trash when people who want to see you do better stop wanting to help you.

I see my mom as one of those black mothers who could have stopped a trash black man from becoming trash; but somehow was not able to. She tried her best to raise us right but idk. She used to be emotionally/psychologically and physically abusive up until I was 14 but shes stopped being physically and psychologically abusive since. She spoiled me and my older brother with buying us stuff she never had as a kid as a replacement for her having a personal relationship with us. She didn’t try to form a relationship with any of us. None of us have a close intimate relationship with her. I have the closest relationship with her and even i see her as a semi stranger, an acquaintance. Like a much older room mate who pays the bills. I see my relationship with my mom as two black women who sees eachothers struggles and helps eachothers when they can and relies on eachothers for different things because we both know how hard it is to be a black woman. She helps me and I help her. Which contributes to why I think she didnt want kids when she had us.

I witness the emotional abuse she inflicts on my little sister that she used to do to me. I want to help my sis but I just…dont know how. I know how she feels and I feel like I should speak up for her like I wanted someone to speak up for me when I was a kid. She was just like me as a kid. I was really emotionally sensitive and my mom was not and I use to cry really easily from my moms meanness and insensitivity. Now that im older and grew out of that I just see my moms side better. She doesn’t have enough patience to monitor how she talks to us and think about if something she said was too mean or insensitive. She doesn’t have the patience, to my little sisters detriment. But another side of me doesn’t stop it because my little sister doesn’t obey me like my mom raised me to obey her while im expected to be a live in nanny. My mom raised me so rigidly with whoopings with a belt if I misunderstood something she told me to do or if I did something normal for kids to do but she didnt have the patience for. And it annoys me that my younger sister gets away with so much that I would never have at her age. I think that’s why I dont speak up for her and I know its wrong but I think in the end, the biggest problem is that my mom is someone who shouldnt have had kids. Not everyone should have kids just because theyre physically able to and my mom is one of them. Some people just dont have the emotional capacity it requires to raise mentally and emotionally healthy children and my mom is just one of those people. She wants the best for us i know and would die for us absolutely but that’s not enough in order to have a happy home as single parent with four kids each with their own specific emotional needs and some who are special needs and another with mental illness, especially since she doesn’t have the patience and energy to cater to all of our needs effectively.

Limerence and Aphrodisiacs (Jefferson x Reader)

Words: 1000+?

Warnings: light smut, drugged drinks, nothing serious yall

Request: In the mood for some love ? Idk why but I’ve been thinking about love potion or aphrodisiacs (… don’t ask) So what would happen If someone “drugs” the reader and the person he/she doesn’t like What would happen before ? In the meantime ? After ? Only you know the answer of the reader’s destiny ! (And which personne they hates) Free to choose which character you love or hate @sorry-but-no-sorry

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day! In celebration of how lonely we all are (maybe its just me) let’s read some fic!


Your friends, Elizabeth, Peggy, and Angelica Schuyler decided that you all should celebrate Valentine’s Day together this year. February 14 was coming up soon, and although Eliza was courting Alexander, she insisted that the four of you were each other’s’ valentine.

“Eliza, you know how Hamilton is. He’ll beg for you to be his valentine. I bet he’s going to show up with chocolate from around the globe.” Angelica said, tying up her hair. Peggy was helping you put on your corset, looking at Eliza doing her makeup. Eliza snorted, glancing back at her older sister.

“And you think I won’t be able to say no?” She replied, putting on blush. Peggy laughed.

“You could never say no to him. Especially when he sends you all of those letters.” You laughed along with Peggy, and Eliza pouted.

“Y/N, you’re supposed to be backing me up on this.” You shrugged, thanking Peggy for helping you with a smile.

“Sorry Eliza, can’t help you on this one.” You all laughed, and joked around for the rest of the time. You all were to meet the boys at the Early Spring ball. They seemed to have a dance for every occasion possible. Peggy had a huge crush on Laurens, and Angelica tended to talk to Lafayette. She insisted that it was nothing, but the smile on her face and the giggling between them told you three otherwise. You, on the other hand, didn’t really have anyone that you liked. The girls always said that you and Thomas should get together, but that was the opposite of what you wanted.

Thomas Jefferson, the annoying, pompous, self-centered man was someone you were never interested in. In fact, you two hated each other. He called you a self-absorbed, independent and no potential, while you said the exact same thing, but in more vulgar words. Every time the two of you were in the same room, the tension rose, and you couldn’t help but start to argue with him. It was inevitable.

“It’s just sexual tension.” Angelica murmured. Peggy gasped, blushing. You rolled your eyes at her, looking at your wrist watch.

“Or, it’s because he’s a spoiled man. Look at the way he prances around, doesn’t it just make you want to-“ You ended your sentence there, your face getting red from the anger rising in you.

“Jump his bones?” Eliza suggested, getting a small slap from Peggy on the arm.

“You know what I mean, Eliza.” You mumbled. The four of you finished, and walked out to the carriage that was to take you to the ball. Angelica insisted that you tried to work things out with Jefferson, but you shook your head, not wanting anything to do with him.

Once you all arrived, Eliza immediately broke off from the group, running to find her Alexander. Peggy walked away to get some drinks from the refreshments table, and Angelica went with her, leaving you alone. You walked to an empty table and sat down. Parties weren’t really your thing, but the girls always dragged you along for the ride. As you were playing with your fingers, you noticed a familiar purple silhouette approaching you. You sighed at the ridiculous color he was wearing, and turned your head away.

“Ah, so instead of arguing with me, you do not even acknowledge my presence? How rude.” Jefferson drawled, sitting across from you. You sighed, ignoring him. “I thought you said you do not like parties? Why are you here?”

“I came specifically to annoy you, Thomas.” You mumbled, looking at him. He had that same stupid, sly grin on his face. “Why are you even talking to me?” He shrugged, glancing around.

“Madison isn’t here to entertain me, and Burr isn’t the best of company. Not that you are, either, but you’re better than his blabbing mouth.” You snorted, and he frowned, giving you a disgusted look. “You are a very informal woman, Y/N.”

“Says the man who cannot entertain himself, so he comes and talks to me. You know, your presence is shying away potential suitors for me.” This time, Thomas laughed.

“Yes, because every man finds you desirable.”

Before you had a chance to retort, Peggy and Angelica came over, holding drinks in their hands. They offered you and Thomas one, insisting that you both drink together. Jefferson and you glared at each other, but accepted the drinks. Angelica had a mischievous look on her face, and you wondered why. Again, she ran away with her sister before you could ask.

As you two sipped your drinks, Jefferson began glancing down at your chest. You never saw him do this once before, so it was a surprise. But should it be? He was a man, after all. You stared at his face, noticing that he was indeed, quite handsome. His trimmed facial hair to his brown eyes made you want to-

“Would you care to dance with me, Y/N?” Jefferson asked, holding out his hand. Some part of you told you that this was wrong, but you touched his hand with yours, letting him lead you to the dance floor. He bowed once, and you curtsied. The song changed, and you two began dancing with each other.

“I thought you hated me, Jefferson?” You whispered low, letting him guide you along the dance floor. You criticized his dance moves before, but now, it seemed like he was the best you have ever seen. Jefferson chuckled, spinning you around slowly.

“And I thought you wanted to murder me, Y/N. Things change.” He pulled you tightly against him, your breath catching in your throat. His pupils were dilated, dark and unrecognizable. You felt a hard throbbing against your stomach, and you looked at him, your eyes widening. He smirked, pulling you back.

“Jefferson-“ He rushed you off the dance floor, guiding you to a back room. Before you could say more, he slammed the door shut, backing you against it. His eyes looked down hungrily at your lips, before pushing his against yours.

Before tonight, you would have punched him square in the jaw. Before tonight, you would have kicked him in his baby maker. But, you kissed him back, biting his lip softly. He groaned, fumbling with your dress. You guided his hands to your back, helping him pull off the tied ribbons.

“Tell me no if you want me to stop.” He whispered, pressing his lips against your neck. You sighed, tilting your head back.

“Okay…” You replied through gasps. You pulled off his jacket, breaking every button in the process.

AND LIGHT SMUT IS DONE, BECAUSE IT MAKES ME BLUSH

~

The next morning, you woke up in your bed to a throbbing headache. You looked around, noticing that you were in fact, not in your room. And, you glanced down at your body, you were naked. Completely, utterly, naked.

“What the hell…” You mumbled, looking around for your dress. You found it in the corner of the room, torn to pieces. There you found another dress next to it. You immediately pulled it on, covering your body. You were sore, so it took you a minute.

You tried to ignore the thoughts that came to your head, reminding you what happened last night. I mean, it was hard to forget. Ha, hard.

“Y/N, stop. This isn’t funny.” You mumbled to yourself. You noticed Thomas’s clothes not far from yours, as teared and damaged as yours. “What are you going to do now?” You said, fixing your hair in the mirror that you found in the room. It was a complete mess, but you made it look as presentable as possible. Before you left the room, you saw a note on the door, written in what was clearly his writing.

Very interesting time last night. We need to talk, I will wait for you in the dining hall.

-Thomas Jefferson

You sighed, pulling the paper off the door. You reluctantly walked to the dining room, seeing the back of Thomas’s head. You noticed his foot tapping anxiously, and you were surprised. You never thought you would see Thomas nervous before.

Although under the circumstances, it was expected. When you slowly approached him, he heard your footsteps, and turned around quickly. He glanced over you quickly, standing up. He glanced at your body quickly, then looked at you in the eyes, giving you a small smile.

“Y/N, hi.” You tried to look anywhere but at him, wanting to forget what happened last night.

“Thomas, I don’t know what happened with us but…” You started, glancing over at him. His shoulders dropped, and a small part of you felt bad about it. Youactually felt bad about something that had to do with Thomas. “But, I do think that it meant something. Did, it mean something?” You asked, looking at him. He laughed, running his hands through his hair.

“I have been hiding this for a while, Y/N. But, I do, like you. I always liked you. I just, I thought that you hated me, so I pretended to do so as well. I did not want what happened last night to occur that way, I have no idea what came over us, but I do not regret it. I’ll never regret it.” There was a sorrowful look on his face, and he stared at you. There was no hate in his eyes, and you felt happy about that.

Did you really hate him? He was quite annoying, and his personality did make you want to stay away, but maybe there was something more? Maybe, he was not such a bad guy? You looked him over once, and sighed.

“Give me some time, Thomas. Give me some time, and I’ll think about it.” He gave you an encouraging grin, nodding slowly. “In the meantime, try not to be so overbearing?”

He grinned wickedly. “Do not count on it, love.”

Thoughts on Down

This is a long-ass shit, and I’m not forcing you to read. Also, please be reminded that this is just MY opinion. We all have different opinions, and I’m here to simply share my thoughts, and not to convince you to change yours. So please don’t go to my ask pushing your opinion. I already heard yours. I woke up to a bunch of “asks” and I already know that some don’t like it, while some do.

My initial reaction:

• why is this so auto-tuned? Okay, Dinah’s voice sounds like smooth warm caramel on top of a sundae. Why is this so basic? Lauren’s adlibs tho! Why are the lyrics so generic? Oooh WFH melody… It’s gonna be a bop! Wait why is the chorus so blandly repetitive? But it’s not that bad. Why do they sound so alike?

• and picture me with my earphones on listening to the first verse, pre-hook, chorus and shit with a pensive look on my face, and disappointment running through my head like damn I wanted more…

But then Gucci Mane came in, (and I know I’m the minority in this one), but for me, the first authentic reaction the song elicited from me was his part.

Why? Because his part was so off and out of nowhere that it took me out of the rut I was in. Like imagine a flat line where the song was just monotonous, like a car cruising on a smooth freeway (not bad, but also kind of boring) but then you run into a pothole and you get jerked off your stupor…

That’s what gucci’s part was for me. A tiny spike on that flat line. A deviation that held my attention. I’m not saying it’s amazing. I’m saying that the grating sound of the bass and the randomness of it was what made me smile while listening to it. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I was smiling the whole time I was listening to that weird bass with a tiny bit of goosebumps on my skin because I knew then that I COULD like Down without lying to myself. It was the only thing that caught my attention, aside from Lauren’s adlibs (which, girl, I wish she did more. I live for Lauren going offffff)

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m so done with these collabs with rappers, like I wanted to hear them alone, like they did with Boss (idc if you say that one is trash lmao, Boss is a bop for me. I fucking love that shit 😂), but if they really have to collab with rappers, I wish it wasn’t Gucci. Maybe Chance, or Migos damn…

But if it were up to me, I wish they would have collabed with female rappers. I still am salty that NTKG wasn’t utilized much. A missed opportunity with Missy Elliott like bitch you had to release TMG over NTKG? NTKG was at least more authentic with the sound it’s trying to project. It was old school and it owned it. Like Voicemail was reminiscent of 90’s bops and not lacing it with today’s trendy dancehall or tropical vibe. It has its own sound, and not a mix of everything generic we hear today where we hear a song and we automatically hear the edm producers more than the artist.

But OMG I digress, sorry.

So yeah, DOWN…

So after my initial reaction, I gave it a couple more listen, and then I watched the live performance, then I slept, then I woke up the next day and I listened to the audio a couple more times, watched the live several more, and here’s my conclusion:

• Down is that kind of a summer bop which grows on you. It’s not a bad song. It’s simplistic but also season-friendly. It’s probably what the label insisted on as their first release.

The reason why it probably feels lacking for me, aside from its repetitiveness, is that maybe it lacks another verse. It’s shorter than WI and WFH so it feels incomplete. There must be a reason for it. It could really be just a teaser.

• at this point in my 5h-stanning life, I’m not even expecting anything mind-blowing. All I want is for 5H to slay the charts, because this should be their era. They seem genuinely happy now and my god after everything they’ve been through (label shit and all), ALL FIVE OF THEM deserve our unwavering support.

• Sure, Down isn’t what I expected. Yes, I wanted more. I wanted more lyrics. I wanted a kickass sound. But, idk man, after several repeats, I think it’s a good enough bop.

• with regards to the vocals, I still hate the auto-tuned shit. I get that maybe they’re finally utilizing Lauren’s range, but I prefer that they don’t auto tune much because I could barely hear her rasp (which was still obvious in her live performance, despite the higher tone she’s using).

Maybe they’re doing it on purpose, making them sound the same as a symbol of their new sound’s “cohesiveness”, but I prefer old 5h where their voices are uniquely different.

• and I’m not even complaining that it sounds like WFH. I don’t have a problem with an artist using a tried and tested formula for ONE of their album’s single. It’s meant to hook the audience. It gives them that familiar sound which could make a NON-FAN recognize their older hits and draw them to the new one. Just because they said “NEW ERA” doesn’t mean that they should change their ENTIRE sound. There’s always that one or two singles that are meant to hook the general public. It’s a constant compromise a mainstream artist makes with their label.

(I mean, The Chainsmokers basically generate the same sound over and over and they’re charting as if they created music. And no, I’m not a big fan of the chainsmokers.

Point is, re-using WFH is not something unheard of. It’s a business move.)

You really can’t please everybody. Because when Lady Gaga released an album that felt authentic for her, some people criticized it and kept saying they wanted the old “Bad Romance” Gaga. When Lorde released her new single, Green Light, her hipster fanbase called her a sell-out and didn’t like that she’s deviated from her “sound” to be more mainstream and I was like bitch can’t an artist explore a different side of her artistry?

And on the flip side, can’t an artist use their old sound? My point is, Down was produced by the same people who made WFH for a reason. They are playing safe. They wanted a single that would generate enough attention like their previous ones did. Then maybe, just maybe, their next singles which probably showcase their authentic sound and lyrics will have as much impact since now people are paying attention. Because no matter how much we want them to be authentic, they’re still a girl group under a greedy ass label who needs them to maintain what their idea of a girl group music and image should be..

And while Down is not something I’m particularly excited about, it’s starting to get stuck in my head, and I don’t hate it. It’s a light summery chill song that’s good to play with your friends while sipping on your drinks by the pool. It is what it was supposed to be.

I get it, I was disappointed too. Down is a downer. But I’m not gonna judge the whole album with one single yet. I’m gonna wait.

This is why I wrote this one before Down was released:

https://problematic-camren.tumblr.com/post/161338803713/5h3

Because I knew that I wasn’t expecting much from their music. I sure hope for more, definitely, BUT stanning 5H isn’t always about their music.

And just because I don’t like a few of their songs, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve my support.

I’m supporting 5h because they represent girls who are not a standard definition of what society thinks a girl should look like or how they should act like. They symbolize us. They showed us that one can achieve their dreams through hard work, and while they have been mistreated before (by their label and by fans alike) they still kept their heads up high, with grace and maturity, and kept on spreading love and inspiration, and they kept on smiling even if their hearts were breaking. They kept striving to be the best they could be, and it’s inspiring. And to see genuine warmth from these pop stars, their love and appreciation for their fans, is something that makes me wanna stan them forever. That’s why even if i really don’t like their music, I’d still keep on stanning them, because what they shared to us, the representation they gave us, the beauty and poise they all showed us, man, even if they fucking screeched for an entire album, I’ll be fuucking putting that on loop and still support their asses.

And I know it’s blind support, but I knew what I was getting into when I started supporting 5h. I wasn’t a pop person before this, I knew I won’t love their music so much. I stan them because I like them, plain and simple.

And I know it’s different for everybody. It’s all just a matter of preferences. Some could unstan just coz they don’t like the song, and that’s totally okay. We’re free to stan or unstan whoever we want. But like I said, it’s just one song. Let’s wait for the other singles and the album.

Ideally, I would love for them to show us everything they have as artists. This is their chance to go big. They have so much potential and I would have liked to see it shine while they’re still in the group. I want the brand Fifth Harmony to leave a lasting mark in this industry. I want them to be on the same spot as TLC or SG or DC. I want them to legit deserve their title.

And Down is not it. But guess what? Down is just one single. I’m gonna wait patiently for the rest of their stuff. I ONLY NEED THAT ONE CLASSIC HIT I’VE BEEN CRAVING FOR SINCE I STARTED LISTENING TO THEM. ONE CLASSIC SONG THAT WOULD STILL BE PLAYED GENERATIONS LATER BECAUSE IT’S JUST SO DAMN RELATABLE AND HEARTFELT.

That’s all I want. And I hope I’ll find that in 5H3.

Yes, Down is empty.

But I won’t unstan just because of one song. We can be disappointed (as I sure was), but I think that 5H is worth more than a few musical disappointments.

💁🏻

the right way to respond to a love confession

this is a very short saphael ficlet (around six hundred words) for @ohmysaphael for her birthday, which was yesterday. happy birthday, jordan, and i hope you enjoy!!


It’s a Friday evening, and they’re watching Star Wars.

Simon doesn’t mean to say them, of course not, because those words are heavy and he wants to say them during dinner with candlelight at a fancy restaurant somewhere because he’s a nerd and Raphael really likes clichés, no matter what he says about them.

But fuck it, they’re watching Star Wars on the couch at the DuMort and the vampires are off somewhere, gallivanting through the night (“We don’t gallivant, Simon,” says Raphael. “We sneak.”) and eating rats. Hopefully not actually eating rats because that’s unhealthy and stupid.

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Leaving you

Summary : you have some bad thoughts and doubts about yourself and your relationship
Pairing: bucky x reader
Warnings: sad shit, crying a lot, angst, tiny bit of fluff, happy end, mentions of a nightmare
Words: 1127
A/n: I wrote this in like 20 minutes so sorry if its really bad but I just wanted to share that.
Also don’t judge me for this I kinda feel like this is something personal?? Idk


Its been going on for so long now that you can’t even remember when it started anymore. It must have had a reason. Or maybe not.
You couldn’t tell. This feeling was so stupid. You shouldn’t feel like this, you know this feeling is just imagination and not true but what are you supposed to do ?
You can’t fight it anymore. You can’t fight your heart anymore.
Its too hard.
And it breaks you.
It was a dumb desire. A need to make things better. But you couldn’t .

You just didn’t feel like yourself anymore.
It was not so easy to be described but you just couldn’t fight against it anymore.

It was so hard. And so exhausting.
So why not leave ? Take your bags and leave.

That’s what you thought. Over and over again.
It’s been your inner conflict in so many sleepless nights in which you suffered from all these pessimistic thoughts while the person next to you didn’t even have a clue of what was going on.

You often just stayed awake looking at the ceiling for hours deep in thoughts until you finally caught your braveness and looked down to him.
And there he was laying next to you with his hands around you , breathing slow and steady.
And in these moments you found yourself smiling.
Smiling at the pure sensation of what seemed to be luck .
Smiling at the warm feeling making its way through your chest.
But then again you weren’t fair. And you weren’t honest in any way.
And you found your self averting your eyes from bucky back to the ceiling again because you couldn’t bare to look at him anymore.

In your head you replayed all the memories and you silently cursed because you knew you couldn’t safe this.
This relationship was about to fall down.

You were scared to lose everything you’ve ever known but it was just too much.
Too overwhelming.
Maybe love was just not the right thing for you.
Maybe you weren’t meant to love.
Maybe love wasn’t meant for you.

This situation had too many mistakes and you knew you couldn’t safe this love. You couldn’t safe this relationship.
You just didn’t feel good enough anymore.
You didn’t feel like this was the way it used to be, a happy genuine relationship that was based on love.
Of course you loved bucky.
But Bucky. You didn’t know if he loved you anymore.
And that was too much for you.
The thoughts of being not enough.
And there wasn’t really anything you could do.
You tried being better. You tried pleasing everyone but you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t pretend to be something you are not, anymore.
It was just too hard.
A tear ran down your eye as you slowly close your eyes, preparing to be weak. For only a minute. A second.
Not longer.
But then the left bedside began to shake and it felt like something familiar.
Something horrible and as you laid your eyes on bucky you saw him frowning deeply as he whispered something.

And for a moment you debated. You debated with yourself.
Should you just leave him in this nightmare.
Let him feel the sadness and the lag of hope you’ve felt these past weeks ?
And for a minute you just laid there watching as he struggled, not even attempting to soothe him at least a bit.
And then you thought ‘what are you doing ?’ And you didn’t know. ‘What is wrong with you?’ You thought and you didn’t know.
The tears fell from your eyes. Tears caused by your own cruelty.
You still loved him and you watched him suffer just like that.
And you cried even more as you slowly realized what you did.

And you cried.
You cried as you shook his shoulder, you cried as you spoke to him.
And then finally, he stirred awake. And with the shock written on his face he jumped up.
Sitting on the bed he buried his head in his hands crying silently and you sat behind him, watching his back as it shook with quiet sobs.

You felt your hand reaching out to him, wanting to feel him.
Make sure he was okay.
And as you touched him he tensed, and his head snapped around to look at you with wide eyes and then even more tears fell from his eyes as he quickly hugged you tight against his chest.

He cried into your shoulder and you cried with him. Because it felt like it was one of the last times that you were embraced by his warm arms.

He pulled you tighter and tighter , rocking back and forth and it was so heartbreaking and so saddening.
But these moments, in which you felt needed and important were rare.

You just felt unappreciated, unimportant and not good enough.
Not good enough.
Not good enough.
Not good enough.
A disappointment.

“I dreamed that you left me” he mumbled against your neck in a shaky breath, pulling you even tighter in fear you’d do what he said.
In fear of loosing you.

“It felt so real” he whispered, followed by tears and you sat in his arms, motionless and speechless.

This was exactly what you had thought about in all these days.
All these weeks you just felt like grabbing your bag and leaving without another word because it was the only thing left for you to do.
The only thing that was right.
Because you weren’t enough.

And here you saw it, what it would do to him if you left.
He was desperate.
And frustrated.

And without your permission your hands found their way around his back, running up and down soothingly as you Nuzzled your head to his neck, breathing in his sent.


You hesitated for a moment, just blankly staring against the wall.
It broke is heart and yours.
But did you really want this ?
Do you really want to stay ?

And in your heads the words of all your former loves replayed ‘someone will love you’ 'someone will love you’ 'someone will love you’.
And then suddenly you knew, that someone was bucky.
Bucky was the one to give you his everything.

And then suddenly you knew you were appreciated and you were loved.
You are wanted and you’re needed.
And now you felt so dumb.
So dumb for even feeling differently. For almost destroying what you always wanted.
For almost breaking two hearts at a time.

You squeezed him tighter as your eyes shut, with tears falling from them as you mumbled against his neck with all the honesty that was left in your tired body.
“I will never leave you.”

@learisa @melconnor2007 @kenobi-and-barnes @momentofpeaceandbeauty @yellowtheremarvelfan @sebbylover24 @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @mytrueself @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @basicwhiskeyprincesss @olicia-leeshy @marvelbase001 @smol-flower-kiddo @socially-unacceptable-h0e .
answering asks!

SOME GOOD QUESTIONS UNDER THE CUT!!! idk how many ppl read these but u def should if wanna kno more abt my goofy ocs >:^)

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