idk what i'm doing just go with it

HE WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS SO SLOWLY BECAUSE HE’S HOLDING TOBEN SFFHJFS HE’S SUCH A PUPPY DAD I LOVE HIM

My life feels like a badly written fan fiction with a good plot: it’s so awful and full of mistakes that I just don’t wanna go on, but I do want to know what happens next and how it ends.
—  Thoughts I’ll never speak out loud.

so I accidentally adopted a bat I guess?

This tiny little bat army crawled under my door and into my room. After researching for hours, i came to the conclusion that no bat sanctuaries, or any animal rescue places that will handle bats, are anywhere close enough to where I live. And since he’s not orphaned, and his mom [and siblings] are still very much in my attic, i decided to just deliver him back to his mom for the time being.

That was last night, and he has made his way back to my room two more times since then.

So I laid out a towel with a damp patch of honey and water, so he doesn’t dehydrate while he’s here, and I’m honestly just letting him chill in my room.

He crawled up to my bed to hang off the ledge of it earlier, and now he’s back on the towel drinking some honey-water.

he’s very smol

how he managed to crawl from the attic to my room three times is beyond me.

in what part of the world would it be okay to continue chasing after Taehyung when it’s quite obvious that he’s scared and running away from crazy screaming fans trying to ruin his vacation??? him running away wasn’t enough for people to realize that their behavior wasn’t okay??? they still kept going after him until he managed to get inside the car??? y’all really gotta start using common sense, stop following them around, stop trying to sneak pictures and videos just so you can post them on social media to get attention, stop invading what little privacy they have as celebrities. he’s home for the first time in a while, he just came back from a tour, he’s trying to spend some time with a good friend, idk why people thought this was okay and continue to do it when it’s NOT OKAY. 

  • Klance stuck in the elevator; Lance: Hey Keith?
  • Keith: What
  • Lance: Do you like to swim?
  • Keith: Uh yeah, sure
  • Lance: Oh cool, just wondering cause you know we were on our way to the pool-
  • Slav from the air vent: There's a 89% chance he asked you that question because he wanted to know if you liked water, his natural element, and he totally wants to fuck right you rn
  • Both: WTF

Draco: Pansy, tell me some tips on how to flirt.

Pansy: It’s simple really. You hold their gaze, try looking into their eyes. You can smile at them. Maybe start greeting them or ask them out.

Draco: *staring at Potter across the great hall*

Pansy: Why are you glaring at Potter again.

Draco: Well you said ‘hold their gaze’. I’m holding his gaze!

Pansy: Not with narrowed eyes and a lifted eyebrow!

*30 mins later in the hallway*

Draco: *passes Potter, tries to smile*

Pansy: *whispers* Why are you sneering at him now?

Draco: You said smile! 

Pansy: That’s not how you smile!

Draco: UGH WHATEVER

*in front of the Potions’ classroom*

Draco: What’s up Scarhead?

Pansy: I SAID ‘GREET THEM’ NOT INSULT THEM.

Draco: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD GIVE CLEARER INSTRUCTIONS NEXT TIME!

Harry: Wha-?

Draco: SHUT UP, POTTER! 

Harry:

Draco: Also, you’re going to Hogsmeade with me this weekend!

Harry: I -?

Draco: YES, IT’S A DATE OMG FIGURE IT OUT ALREADY

Harry: *wide eyed just nods*

Pansy: *smug* My instructions always work.

Shiro has lots of life hacks and knows how to look good with the absolute minimal effort like it’s Mastered. Keith is affronted bc “people think I’m the heathen but that’s not true you’re the real heathen takashi you’re just a secret one being DECEPTIVE and deceiving everyone with your dry shampoo and whatever else you’re doing”

010416: i have to finalize my ee topic in a week and !!! idk what i’m going to do. this small mind map is the product of an hour and a half of brainstorming orz – i just sat there going “what interests you??” and drew blanks every five minutes YIKES. hopefully i’ll have a more narrowed-down topic and a nice and focused research question written out by tuesday. i just want to make sure i pick a topic that i’ll enjoy writing about /sigh

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: i guess i just don’t understand why andrew had such an issue with katelyn i mean andrew set up their deal so that all of aaron’s friends had to be approved by andrew but that was because aaron’s high school friends were a bunch of druggies that andrew didn’t want aaron around anymore so i would think that andrew wouldn’t have an issue with katelyn considering she’s also pre-med and clearly keeps aaron out of trouble it could just be because aaron kept it a secret from andrew but then-

Poe Party Word Count Statistics

I really love words, numbers, and Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, so I’ve spent most of this weekend putting them together by analyzing the word counts of the Poe Party characters. Also I have no life. And I’m pretty sure no one cares. But just in case…

The (approximate) total word counts are as follows:

  1. Edgar: 2303
  2. Ernest: 1430
  3. Charlotte: 1422
  4. Lenore: 1180
  5. HG: 1015
  6. Oscar: 1014
  7. Eddie: 811
  8. Annabel: 708
  9. Constable Jim: 580
  10. George: 578
  11. Mary: 338
  12. Constable Jimmy: 328
  13. Emily: 218
  14. Fyodor: 189
  15. Anne: 185
  16. Krishanti: 165
  17. Louisa: 136
  18. Guy: 61
  19. Jane: 52
  20. Constable Wesley: 11

Note: Screams were never counted as words, but I wasn’t super consistent on how I counted some of the noises certain characters (cough, Oscar, cough) make that are sort of but not exactly words, or how I counted stammering (if someone - cough, HG, cough - says “I, I, I” should that count as 3 words? Or just one?), but I figure for all intents and purposes this is pretty close.  I did not count the Epilogue or any bonus videos, or the little Oscar bit after the credits.

The character who talks the most in each chapter is:

  • Chapter 1: Edgar
  • Chapter 2: Edgar
  • Chapter 3: Mary
  • Chapter 4: HG
  • Chapter 5: George
  • Chapter 6: Krishanti
  • Chapter 7: Edgar
  • Chapter 8: Constable Jim
  • Chapter 9: Edgar
  • Chapter 10: Charlotte
  • Chapter 11: Eddie

The characters’ word counts by chapter are tracked in the following super-hard-to-read graph:

So Eddie’s ridiculously long villain monologue means he talks almost twice as much in chapter 11 as anyone else does in a single chapter.

I felt like it was kind of unfair to compare the word counts of characters who died early on to those who survived to the end, so I also made this chart taking into account how many chapters each character appeared in:

Chapters in which a character appears only as a corpse (or fake corpse), or in a flashback from earlier that evening, do not count; chapters in which a character appears only as a ghost, or in a flashback from before that evening, do. Example: George counts as being in chapter 6 but not 7; Eddie counts as being in chapter 10 (even though he doesn’t say anything) but not 2 or 3; etc.

Okay, this post is getting too long, but stay tuned for more charts and analysis coming soon!

illusionarypandemonium  asked:

Random request? Just... An octopus in a martini, with a tiny umbrella and everything. Idk, I'm just in a WTNV vibe mood

thank you, this was so much fun to draw! (and I can accurately say it’s something I never would’ve thought of on my own) keep sending in those requests people!

I feel like the octopus should have a name.. idk what do you guys think

anonymous asked:

Hi! Okay so im a lil embarrassed about this lol, but how do I achieve that fresh out the shower smell all day with smooth soft skin? I shower everyday, moisturize, and put on perfume, but it usually lasts only maybe 3 hours and then throughout the day it fades. Like Idk what I'm doing wrong. How can I achieve this? Like you know those girls who smell like they just took a shower and it's 5pm????!?! What products/ what routine should I do to achieve this?? Sorry if I dont make sense or its long

Hello, I get this, I smell nice all day but I didn’t used to!

1. Men’s deodorant, That is key, It’s better than women’s deodorant and unless your guy/gal is into weird armpit stuff it’s unlikely they will know.

2. Use lots of heavy scents. don’t go for a very light scent that is easily drowned, go strong.

3. You get what you pay for unfortunately. Cheap perfume has more alcohol in it which makes it evaporate quicker, this means the scent won’t stick around. In more expensive perfumes they use oils instead so they don’t evaporate as quickly and will stay the whole day. I recommend tom ford or acqua di parma. 

4. keep a small roll on version of it in your bag. You can buy roller ball applicators online and you can just pour some perfume in and update your perfume throughout the day. 

5. Rub some vaseline on the spot before you apply perfume, I don’t know why it works but it works.

6. Use nice body washes and moisturisers which match scent. it will make everything more intense. I recommend Le Labo for stuff that smells great and lasts throughout the day.

7. Scents travel up so sprits on thighs, wrists and cleavage. Also spritz some in your hair.

That’s it x its just money an placement unfortunately x

Lots of love, Mary xoxo

4

Mother! giving Post-Mockingjay realness

hey did you know that

i love betty finn

Parents complain if I stay home all the time and tell me to go out. I take a two in a half week trip to visit bf and friends and my parents get upset that I’m gone for too long. What do you want from me– I’ve been gone for far longer why are they making a big deal now.

i don’t see how anyone is surprised that marlene killed yvonne so spoby could happen. it was pretty fucking obvious that she wasn’t going to stick around from the start. it’s rushed, it’s shitty writing, it’s problematic as hell, and yvonne and spoby both deserved a far better resolution. 

But come on, this is the writing team that decided romance was having caleb and spencer fall in love for half a season only for caleb to cheat on her with hanna and then claim he’s loved hanna all along, who are still romanticizing a teacher/student relationship that, even looking past all it’s other transgressions, continues to be boring af, who think the best way to put emily and alison together, the slowburn ship to end all slowburn ships who would have had no trouble being brought together naturally, is to introduce two other girls for emily and then inject emily’s eggs into alison in a complete and utter violation of both girls bodies. 

like, did you expect better from the writers? really? if you didn’t see this coming i don’t know what to tell you. 

I feel like magnus and alec encourage each other when one of them is being difficult or just a pain in the ass for other people. like I can imagine them sitting in a meeting and a clave member tries talking to magnus but is being extremely rude so magnus is like “alexander, did you hear something?” and alec barely hides his smirk and is just like “no babe, maybe it’s something from outside” “hmm maybe, it was certainly not the sound of a clave member being rude to the high warlock of brooklyn” “it couldn’t be, they wouldn’t dare. not after everything you do for them” and all the clave members are sitting there shook and unsure what to do or how to get magnus to cooperate with them.

or there’s times when jace is being super annoying and magnus and alec have just had enough and are like “darling would you mind if I turned your dear brother into a frog?” “no not at all, in fact make him a mouse. it’ll be funny to watch him run from the cats” “ooo I know, I’ll turn him into a stand for your weapons, you know how much I hate when you leave them lying around” “nah, jace would enjoy that too much. he’s always had a hard on for weapons” and jace is just like “tf alec, you’d really do that to your brother?” and alec just shrugs and smiles which cause jace to smile too.

the worst is when the whole squad goes out and both magnus and alec end up drunk and alec becomes outraged when clary says she’s the gayest one there like “how dare you? I am the gayest. magnus tell her” and magnus is like “I can confirm he is so gay. the best gay” “aw magnus, you’re the best bi” and they both go on about how “iconic” they are and everyone else is just like “chill, it was a joke” but they’re both too drunk and too wound up to care until they notice there’s a karaoke night going on and magnus turns to alec with wide eyes and alec’s just like “do it” and everyone’s like please no because they’ve heard magnus sing “don’t stop me now” by queen everytime he’s drunk but it’s too late, magnus is up there and alec’s drunkenly telling everyone “that’s my boyfriend” while cheering an equally drunk magnus on.