idk what else to tag sorry!!!

Only Us (Part Seven)

Pairing: Peter Parker (Tom Holland) x Reader

Summary:  What happens when the reader saves Spiderman…while he’s saving you? (things have changed but fuck it I’m still using this summary cuz idk)

Word Count: 1996

Warning(s): Swearing

Additional Notes: If you would like to be tagged for every part of this series let me know by commenting or something else idk.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  


“Are you sure you alright?” Spiderman asked as I looked over the building.

“What?” My head shot to him thoughts running through my mind.

“You seem a little off.” He chuckled. “For a couple weeks actually—since that Valentine’s dance.” I shivered looking toward him.

“Yeah sorry.” I mumbled. “I have an english test tomorrow.” I lied. “I’m a little nervous.” I actually was, but not for a made-up english test. It was Peter—he hadn’t exited my thoughts for two weeks, ever since the dance. It scared me, every time I saw him my heart beat quickened.

“You’ll do fine Y/N.” He nodded. I shrugged wrapping my arms around my waist.

“Don’t you have people to save?” I asked him.

“Not right now.” He replied. “I’m spending time with you.” I glanced over at him.

“Don’t you have a life?” I asked. “I mean I would think Spiderman would have a girlfriend of some kind. Like maybe Fireflygirl or something?” He laughed shaking his head.

“No I don’t.” He laughed. “And that would be a stupid name.”

“I like it.” I shrugged. “She could be your light.” I joked.

“I like the dark.” He replied as I giggled. “Besides—I don’t really have time for a girlfriend.

“Yeah with saving the world and such?” I asked. “If it makes you feel better I haven’t had my first kiss yet.” I blushed.

“Really?”

“Why is that surprising?” I asked looking up at him.

“Well—you’re really pretty. I thought you would have some experience.” I blushed again shaking my head.

“There’s more to kissing someone then just looks.” I said. “Especially with me.”

“Why?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t really trust people…” I whispered. “So the action of trusting someone—even for something as simple as a kiss…I don’t know it freaks me out.”

“Don’t you have anyone you trust like that?”

“Besides you?” I asked a blush on my cheek. “You are about the only male that I am not related to that I trust—wait no just only male.” There was a silence for a couple seconds before I turned looking at him.

“So.” I walked toward him.

“So?” He asked.

“I’m gonna ask you something—and you can say no if you want.” Nerves flooded me as I looked up at him.

“Alright…” I swallowed stepping closer to him. “Can I—can I kiss you?” There was a silence again and I turned bright red.

“You know I’m wearing a mask right?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I whispered reaching up to feel the fabric. “I can still kiss you.” I said folding up the mask so it rested on his nose. I let out a shaky breath as I looked at his pale lips and then back at his eyes which were still covered.

“Alright then.” He whispered. “Kiss me.”  I swallowed, I wasn’t really expecting him to say yes, but now I really had no choice. I leaned up slowly inches from his lips.

“Are you sure you are guy?” I asked. He chuckled a cute grin expanding on his face. It seemed familiar but I couldn’t place it.

“Yeah.” I swallowed again. “I’m sure.” I nodded slowly before pressing my lips against his for a half of a second before pulling away quickly.

“Okay I kissed you.” I blushed

“That wasn’t a kiss.” He mumbled.

“Yes it was.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“I thought you wanted to kiss me.”

“Well—I…”

“Try again.” He said.

“Really?”

“Really.” I sighed leaning up again attaching my lips against his for longer this time squeezing my eyes shut. I was about to pull away until I felt his arm around my waist and his hand move to the side of my face. Our lips moved together as I my heart raced more nerves flooding me. It felt nice…really nice. It felt like there was fire on my lips and I couldn’t pull away. I felt his tongue roll against my bottom lip. We continued to kiss as my lungs begged for breath. But—there was something missing, my mind run a mile a minute until it came to a conclusion. Peter. My eyes squeezed tighter as I thought about him guilt filling me as Spiderman held me closer. I pulled away from him breathing heavily.

“I can’t.” I breathed. “I can’t do this.” I turned away from him biting my lip.

“Y/N—” His hand circled around my wrist turning me around again. “It’s just a kiss…” He trailed off.

“It’s not—I didn’t want—I shouldn’t have kissed you.” I said tears threatening my eyes.

“Why not?” He asked as he pulled his mask down again.

“Because—I—I just—I think…I think I like someone else.” I admitted fear gripping me.

“You never said you liked me Y/N.” He sighed. “It’s okay.”

“But I shouldn’t have kissed you!” I told him. “I thought that it would work get him out of my head but I can’t—”

“It’s alright Y/N.” He sighed.

“Don’t you want to know who?” I asked throwing him a confused look. He was always interested in anything It told him.

“No.” He shook his head. “I-I really don’t.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because it’s not like know him.” He shrugged.

“I thought you would talk to me about it.” I mumbled.

“Well you are wrong.”

“Peter. Peter Parker.” I said quietly.

“What?” Spiderman said.

“Peter Parker— that’s his name. That’s who I can’t get out of my head.” I turned to look at Spiderman as he froze looking down at me.

“Oh.” He said softly. “He seems…nice.” He nodded.

“You don’t know anything about him.” I gave him a confused look.

“I know—  I just…he seems nice.”

“I danced with him at the Valentine’s Dance.” I mumbled. “It was really nice.” I looked over the city my hands fiddling with each other. “Really really nice.” I whispered. “And he is really smart—like really smart.” I added.

“Why don’t you tell him?” He asked. “You seem to like him…” I blushed shaking my head.

“I can’t—I don’t.” I stammered. “I was really mean to him.” I mumbled.

“I’m sure he’s already forgiven you.” Spiderman replied. I shrugged running my hands through my hair.

“You want to know the truth?” I turned to him. “I’m scared.”

“Why would you be scared?” He asked. “I’m sure he really likes you.”

“How would you know?” I asked narrowing my eyes.

“Uh—h-he danced with you didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” I blushed a smile forming on his face. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“What for?” He asked.

“For kissing you—I shouldn’t have done that we are friends and that’s weird—”

“You shouldn’t apologize for kissing me Y/N.”

“I probably sucked in comparison.” I mumbled.

“I actually—uh haven’t ever kissed anyone.” He replied.

“You’re kidding.” I raised my eyebrows. He crossed his arms looking down at me.

“Way to make me feel bad.” He grumbled.

“No no it’s fine.” I blushed. “You just—you seemed to know what you were doing…”

“So did you.” He shrugged. I blushed again shaking my head.

“Alright.” I said awkwardly. “I think I’m gonna go study.” He nodded.

“Don’t listen to your music that loud, you’ll blow out your eardrums.” He said.

“No promises webs.” I smiled walking toward the fire escape.

-

“Hey Y/N.” Ned greeted as I walked into the tutor center the next day. “Ready to learn about more Algebra?”

“Sure?” I laughed sitting on the table taking out my stuff.

“Um so Peter’s is going to tutor you today.”

“Oh.” I mumbled nerves flooding me. “U-um why?” I asked. I wasn’t thrilled for Peter to see how dumb I was. Of course he had tutored me before, but it was completely different now.

“Uh—I’ve got stuff.” Ned said. I narrowed my eyes.

“What kind of stuff?” I asked.

“Just stuff.” He shrugged. “Hey Peter!” He grinned at his friend. I blushed knowing he was right behind me. “Can you tutor Y/N today? I’ve got other stuff to do.”

“E-er sure.” Peter mumbled.

“Great.” Ned smiled before collecting his stuff. “I’ll see you guys later then.” He said before exiting the tutor center. Peter put his backpack on the ground and took a seat next to me.

“Um so.” He started. “Where are you in the chapter?”

“Uhhh…” I started paging through book. “We were learning about factors, but I got that down pretty easily.” I said. “But I’m having a little trouble with the word problems.” Peter nodded pulling the book towards him.

“Alright let’s try number one then.” He said glancing at me a blush forming on his face. I nodded again.

“Mrs. Madden had fifteen yards of wire.” I started. I continued a blush on my face as I stumbled over words due to the nerves that filtered through my stomach. Now he thinks I can’t read, nice job Y/N.

“Er so we pull out all the numbers in this problem, don’t forget the labels.” He started point to certain words. “All the word tend to confuse a lot of people.” I nodded beginning to write down the numbers in a list. My hand brushed his and he blushed heavily his hand running through his hair.

“A-are you done?” He asked. I nodded slowly. “Alright,” he continued to explain the problem. I glued my eyes to the sheet trying to understand. “So write it down then solve the problem.” He finished. I started to write before I stopped abruptly heat filling my face.

“I still don’t get it.” I dropped my pencil. “Gosh Peter, I’m really sorry—I’m so stupid.” My hand fell into my hands.

“Hey—” He started as I felt his hand on my back before he pulled it back immediately. “You aren’t stupid—trust me.” I looked up at him shaking my head. “I once tutored Linda Molen.” He started. “I asked her what 6 times 3 was—she didn’t know.” I raised my eyebrows looking over at him.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He chuckled his cheeks a little pink. “I asked her to guess and she said 32.”

“That’s 8 times 4.” I giggled. Peter smiled.

“See you got it.”

“Peter we learn times tables in 4th grade.” He blushed again shaking his head.

“Right well you got a B on your test.” He said. “That’s amazing Y/N.” I blushed.

“Yeah thanks to you.” I mumbled. He blushed again his gaze meeting mine. “Uh—Peter.” I mumbled as he stared at me.

“Sorry.” He blushed harder.

“Is there something on my face?” I asked growing nervous. Great. I look even more stupid.

“N-no. You just look—” He started. “Uh nevermind.”

“I’m not wearing make-up today so I know, I look like shit.” I mumbled.

“W-what?” He asked. “Yeah—I mean no—no you don’t look bad at all.” He turned red. “You look—uh really pretty today.” He mumbled. “Not that you don’t look pretty every day—” He said quickly as I blushed furiously.

“U-um thanks.” I mumbled. There was a silence before I spoke again. “Um so the wire—”

“Right.” Peter cleared his throat before continuing to explain the the problem.

-

“Yeah!” Peter smiled. “That’s right, you got it!”

“Really?” I asked. He nodded. “Good.” I breathed in relief. “It only took me four times. You sure I’m not dumb Parker?” I asked.

“Positive.” He said. I blushed for the millionth time.

“Shit.” I breathe looking at my phone. “I’m gonna be late to work.” I quickly closed my books. “Sorry that I have to leave.”

“No-no it’s fine.” He smiled helping me get ready.

“Um I can try the rest of these questions and then we can review them next week if you want.” Peter nodded.

“Sounds good.” He said. Our fingers brushed each others again as I blushed.

“Okay.” I said throwing my backpack on my back. “Thanks—again.”

“No problem.” He smiled. I blushed again walking toward the doors of the tutor center the nerves slowly exiting my stomach.


Tagging: @ginnyweasels  @littlefrenchnuage  @daydr3ams-away  @1022bridgetp  @lilacyra  @dottieadot @awkwardturtle25  @just-damn-peachy  @travelwithwords @andyl394  @dah-knee-cuh  @fandom-flash  @notevenagoodgirl  @purple-stucky-fluff-girl @bookworm06  @143amberrose  @smolmarkhyuck  @holland-happy  @music-nerd-27  @andy-winchester-67  @johnmurphys-sass  @infatuatedwithxmen @hownottodie101

(I’m sorry if I missed you, let me know if I did and I’ll add you to my list that I made.)

If you would like to be tagged please let me know, and thanks for all your compliments. You all are awesome.

Same family tree, different genera.

Tried to base them on how their ults work more than anything. The Hanzo-dragons head is drawn over a crocodile skull more than anything else, and has a strong bite (go look up crocodiles bite force, they’re strong cuties), once you get caught you’re done for. Genji-dragon has narrower head, with a lot of small snarp teeth, here you won’t get any bones crushed but they’ll tear you to tiny pieces. Haven’t found anything to look up for this yet, might go read up on some predatory fish for this guy, what do you think?

And I’ll stop here, my Shimada dragon obsession is already bad as it is. 

taken from the comic book series written by neil gaiman

  • “the price of wisdom is above rubies.”
  • “when do the nightmares slip out into the daylight?”
  • “it was a dark and stormy nightmare.”
  • “I left a monarch. yet I return alone…hungry.”
  • “never trust a [insert word here]. he has a hundred motives for anything he does - 99 of them, at least, malevolent.”
  • “I would have dreamed of you…if I could dream.”
  • “the real problem with stories: if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.”
  • “little ghost, get out of my way.”
  • “I’ve learned from my mistakes, but I’ve had more time to commit more mistakes.”
  • “I suppose there are worse endings.”
  • “it is a fool’s prerogative to utter truths no one else will speak.”
  • “I only have two kinds of dreams: the bad and the terrible.”
  • “the price of getting what you want is getting what you once wanted.”
  • “it’s part of growing up, I suppose. you always have to leave something behind you.”
  • “nobody looks up in the sky anymore.”
  • “everybody has a secret world inside of them.”
  • “it is sometimes a mistake to climb, it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt.”
  • “sometimes you wake up. sometimes the fall kills you. and sometimes, when you fall, you fly.”
  • “without dreams, there could be no despair.”
  • “it is unwise to summon what you cannot dismiss.”
  • “never trust the storyteller. only trust the story.”
  • “destiny is blind.”
  • “remember how hard it was for me to leave, and that it was not your fault.”
  • “life, like time, is a journey through darkness.”
  • “I like the stars. It’s the illusion of permanence, I think. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments.”
  • “when something ends, there’s always something left over. a story, or a vision, or a hope.”
  • “I don’t recommend revenge. it tends to have repercussions.”
  • “honesty is a somewhat overrated virtue.”
  • “I suppose the point you grow up is the point you let the dreams go.”
  • “the things we do make echoes.”
  • “all journeys leave marks on us.”
  • “have you ever been in love? horrible, isn’t it? it makes you so vulnerable.”
  • “when there’s no hope, you might as well be dead.”
  • “they will haunt your sleep until you die.”
  • “everything changes, and nothing is truly lost.”
Daddy?

lol at the title i’m so sorry but like i couldn’t resist LOL sry if this is a giant vacuole of shit, but like the lil idea popped into my head, and so instead of requesting it from someone else, I thought i’d give a go at writing. But as you all probs know… i’m a double science major so i can’t write worth shat… lawls. anyways, idk why i can’t do anything without rambling. Enjoy this. It gave me a good chuckle.

word count: idk… a lot? 


You wake up early this morning from the urgent sense to throw up. You try to be as discreet and quiet as possible so you don’t wake your snoozing husband, Shawn, who is laying in the bed next to you, but your old New York City apartment squeaks if you breathe the wrong way.

You ditch any effort of silence, though, when you feel the puke coming on, and within a matter of seconds you are hunched over the toilet bowl. As you are hurling your guts out, you feel a warm hand settle on your back and another move the baby hairs out of your face that have fallen out of your sleepy bun. 

When you can’t puke anymore, you sit there almost draped over the toilet with your forehead resting on the seat. You never get sick like this. You haven’t puked since your freshman year of Uni, and that was only the result of an excessive amount of alcohol consumed during that infamous Delta Sig Frat party. 

“Baby, are you okay? You don’t feel fevered or anything. Do you think you have food poisoning?” Shawn asks you after a few minutes when he decides you’re probably not going to throw up anymore. 

“I don’t know, we didn’t eat anything weird for dinner last night. I don’t know what it could be.” You reply back, looking at the concern in his honey brown eyes. You get up off the floor and move to the sink to brush your teeth to try and get the horrible after taste out of your mouth.

In the middle of rinsing out your mouth, you start counting on your fingers after a thought pops into your head. 

You’re late. 

You drop the toothbrush in its holder and run to your closet trying to find some yoga pants and a t shirt to throw on.

“Babe, what… where are you going?” Shawn asks, following you back into the bedroom. 

“I’m late” is all you say over and over again. You can’t find a t shirt of your own, so you hop over the bed to Shawn’s closet. You grab your favorite t shirt of his– the grey one with the Hogwarts crest on it– and his maroon hoodie that he swears you wear more than he does, and throw them on over some yoga pants, putting on your adidas sneakers right after. 

“Hon, late for what? It’s Saturday.” He says, coming up to you and placing both of his hands on your shoulders to stop you from racing around the room like a maniac. 

You stop moving at his touch and look right into his eyes, “I’m late, Shawn. I’m two weeks late.”

His eyes widen with surprise and his lips form an “O”. 

“So..are you…does this mean…” He stutters, trying to form a coherent thought, but the idea of being a dad swirling around in his head is keeping him from being able to process.

“I don’t know… maybe? I gotta… i gotta go to the drugstore. Get a pregnancy test or something, right?” 

You’re just as baffled as him. You’re both at the peak of your careers right now,  so you never chanced unprotected sex. You’re about to graduate medical school and he is just three months away from releasing his fifth album.The thought of being parents was always super exciting and something the both of you wanted to do, but it always seemed so far into the future. You couldn’t possibly be pregnant now.


You return from the store about an hour later with 6 pregnancy tests (”I didn’t know what kind to get or what brand to get or what would be the most accurate or really anything about pregnancy tests or pregnancy in general because i’m only 24!”) and run into the bathroom so that you can take them. You pick the first one out of the bag and rip it open. As you’re peeing on the little stick, all you can think is “Please God, don’t let it be positive. Don’t let it be positive.”

Shawn keeps knocking on the door trying to get you to let him in, but you can’t. You can’t have him in here if you find out that you’re about to stall his career with a baby. 

The timer on your phone rings signaling that the test is done, but you don’t even flinch. Shawn hears the sound through the door and starts knocking again. 

“Y/n, please, I need to be in there with you. This isn’t just you. I’m the… I’m the dad.” He says softly through the door. You take a deep breath in and out. He’s right. This is happening to the both of you, not just to you. You decide to let him in before  you look at the results. 

At your first little jiggle of the handle to unlock the door, Shawn practically knocks it down trying to get in as fast as possible. He sees the little white stick sitting on the counter face down and instantly freezes. 

“Have you looked at it yet?” He asks, not breaking his fixed stare at the test. 

“I can’t. You have to. I can’t.” He looks at you with nervous eyes and walks over to the test, picking it up and flipping it over to look at the results.

You stare at his face anxiously awaiting to read his expression for signs of relief or regret, but his face stays expressionless.

“Y/N,” He starts, looking right at you.

“Yeah…” You reply nervously, eyes fixed on the test in his hands.

“I don’t know how to read one of these things.” He says, and a smile forms on his lips. You let out a shorty chuckle and smack your palm to your forehead. 

“Damn, way to ruin a dramatic moment, babe” You say, but on the inside you’re glad that he found a way to lighten the mood. This is one of the many reasons why you’re absolutely certain that you married the right guy.  The nerves evaporate from your body, and you start to get a little excited at the thought of having a baby with Shawn. 

With this new feeling of reassurance, you take the stick from out of his hands and flip it over, knowing that if you drag out the process of discovering if you’re about to become a mom any longer you will actually explode. 

You read the results on the stick and let out a breath that you didn’t realize you had been holding in and your stomach drops. 

“So, does this mean I get to call you ‘Daddy’ now?” You say with a smile forming on your face. 

Shawn’s eyes widen and he lets out a huge laugh before pulling you into a big hug. You wrap your arms around his neck and you feel yourself lifted of the ground. He spins you around before setting you back gently on the ground once he remembers that there’s now a baby in your tummy. His baby

He drops down to his knees and presses his ear to your stomach as if he could actually hear the baby inside of you. Then, you start to hear a barely audible whisper saying “Hi, baby, I’m your dad. Me and your mom love you. We’re gonna love you and hold you and protect you forever. I can’t believe I’m actually your dad.”

You feel a few tears spill over down your cheeks, and one drops onto one of Shawn’s hands. He looks up at you with the biggest smile on his face that you have ever seen. He stands back up slowly and gently grabs your face. He leans in and kisses away the few tears on your cheeks, then your forehead, and down to the tip of your nose, finally pressing his soft lips agains yours. 

“You’re going to be the best dad.” You say once you break apart from him. 

“I love you so much.” He tells you, looking deep into your eyes before pulling you back in for another kiss. 



a/n: I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO END IT I’M SORRY IF ITS TERRIBLE AJSRKJANSLJNA OK BYE

do u ever get a seasonal urge to doodle zevran… i do so here’s sum elf doing the ‘dont trust even yourself self’ meme or idk bc as always it turned out differently from what i wanted to draw at first. and it seems im incapable of drawing anything in color im sorry

and i draw for hours not saving so if it crashes i definitely deserved it

DDOCA 

Gender is unknown, but it is hinted to be a girl by MJ when he asked DDOCA to call him “Oppa”, a term for a female to call their older brothers.

DDOCA is someone who is always following ASTRO and helping the boys film themselves playing around, sneak peaks at what they are doing or simple things like life behind the scenes/official camera.

AROHAs wishes they were DDOCA who is always with ASTRO and playing around with them.

cr to @moon-hyuks for DDOCA’s model (??? idk)

So, this is my first post and I don’t know how to use Tumblr quite yet, but I’ll figure it out! Anyway, here’s a doodle of Killua and Gon that I did in Photoshop because I wanted to draw my favorite ship  :)

6

So shine on you sinking sun
Cause the waning time it gets me low
Look on you wicked world
I will wait my turn but it goes slow.

Awake

This is my first time writing and publishing anything like this. My first drabble. I’m so sorry if its so bad, i just wanted to get this out of my head hhhhhhhhh im sorry if its short hhhhhhhhhhhhh. okay i’m going to post this before i stop myself and deletee this hhhhhhhh.

Noctis x Reader

Finally, after the shock had ebbed away and you were really looking at him, it hit you like a brick wall.

Noctis had been gone for ten years. Ten. And here he was. Breathing, taking the very air from your lungs.

Back then, way, way back then- he was only a prince. A boy of twenty. But time, as cruel as it was, stole ten years away, hid them along with the dawn. But he was back to make things right, to bring back what was taken.

A young boy. Now he sat on your bed, an older man. Ready to reclaim his throne. Reclaim the sun.

Your hand found its way up to palm his cheek. His scruff tickled your worn, aching hands and you sucked in a breath. He was real. This wasn’t a dream.

Your sobs were held in your throat, as if any sound from you would dispel this image. Your eyes devoured every detail of him. You ran your thumb over the edge of his lip.

“Y/N.”

His voice rang in your ears. He reached up and wiped a tear from your cheek. Your tears were falling too fast and heavy for him to get to them all, but he tried.

“Please, Y/N, don’t cry.”

You shook your head and wrapped your arms around his neck. He smelled of your body wash and shampoo, having showered.You let the boys come back to your place before heading back out on the road. You wouldn’t be going this time, he asked you to stay behind.

His lips found yours and you kissed him back, drinking him in. Your tears continued to flow. You willed yourself to stop crying and kissing. You sniffled away any lingering sadness and focused on Noctis, a small smile forming on your lips.

You wiped the moisture off your cheeks and whispered, “Sorry about that little freak out.”

He shook his head, “Only you would try to brush such a heavy thing off like that.”

His hands were on your hips, his calloused fingers against your soft skin. You ran your fingers through his hair and brushed away the hair from his face, “I don’t want to spoil the time I have left with you with my blubbering. I just want to be with you, Noct.”

He pulled you down for a peck, “You’re here with me, Y/N. I’m here.”

You sat on the bed beside him, draped your legs over his. Your head went into the crook between his neck and shoulders and you began to talk. Silly things, inconsequential. He played with your hands and held them out, examining them. You kissed him and he hummed in the way he used to.

You both tried to postpone sleep.

Actual College AU’s

These are all inspired from things I’ve either experienced or witnessed during my first two years at college.

  • We’re in the same class and our professor always writes insanely hard tests. I don’t care how hot you are, the only textbook in the library is mine!
  • I got my days mixed up and went to class an hour early. Then, I accidentally walked in on your class and interrupted your super important presentation. I’m incredibly sorry and tried to apologize after your class let out.
  • My drunk friend pounded on your door, screaming for his roommates to let him in thinking it was his room. I was the one dragging him back and–oh god, he just puked on your shoes! I’m so sorry!
  • My friends and I decided to go climbing the trees around campus. At night. They thought I left early, but I got stuck and please, please help… you’re the first person I’ve seen in hours and I really hate heights now.
  • What the fuck are you doing in my seat? It’s three weeks into class, I know you know that’s my seat, you sat behind me– oh shit, you’re hot.
  • You borrowed my favorite pen last class and never gave it back. I want my damn pen back, you bastard.
  • We randomly got paired up for beer pong at a party and holy shit, we’re amazing. Beer pong partners for life?
  • What the hell are you cooking– it’s 3 in the morning and people down the hall are gagging from the smell of chili peppers and death. Go to Taco Bell like a normal person!
  • I went out for a walk and saw you kicking a bike angrily. Someone locked their chain around your bike? Uh, this is kinda random, but I have a hacksaw in my room. If you’d like to borrow it, feel free.
  • We’re both on the same sports team and I’m the only one qualified as an EMT. Look, I’m sorry, but you’ve definitely got a concussion! If you’d stop trying to make a break for the field, I’d stop sitting on you. In the mean time, put this ice pack on your head.
  • Thank you, random person from the lounge above us! I totally forgot that the crit range is 16-20, not 18. You just saved us from a TPK. Hey, do you wanna join our campaign, we literally just started.
  • I’m trying to study for my first big exam and you’re that asshole in the lounge with the guitar. If you play wonder wall one more time, I’m going to break your guitar over your head, you douchey hipster.
  • I’m a barista at the campus coffee shop and you’re sitting in front of the fire extinguisher. Can you toss it to me? The coffee machine’s on fire again. Nah, don’t worry, this happens a lot.
  • I was leading a tour of campus for prospective students and you hit me with your goddamn longboard. I swear to god, if i didn’t have to be polite, I’d fucking beat you into the pavement, but hang on… you’re actually really sorry about it. Why do you have Hello Kitty bandaids in your backpack..?
  • We’ve never met before but we share a mutual friend who wanted to go see a musical. The musical was shit, but we all went on a late night adventure and wow, you’re actually really cool to talk to. Holy shit, it’s 6 am.
  • My friends and I are pulling an all-nighter in the library and we just stocked up on snacks. You’re at the study table next to us and look super dead and stressed– do you want my extra Red Bull?
  • You’re some kind of super genius, we get it. Now quit flying your goddamn drone around campus or I’ll knock it out of the sky with my frisbee.
  • We’re on the same intramural sports team and our team is literally the worst– you and I are carrying the team and we bitch about it after games.
  • My audition for the top wind ensemble is tomorrow and I don’t care if I have to strangle you with your own bow, I /need/ this practice room.
  • Of all the things you decided to steal from the dining hall, why a pineapple?
  • I’m on the girls water polo team and so are you… even though you’re obviously a dude. How is this a thing? Oh yeah, Title IX.
  • I’m babysitting my friend at a party and you’re one of the frat guys hosting it. For some reason, when you get drunk you start quoting Beowulf and old black and white films. It’s actually kind of adorable, even if you are a total dude-bro.
  • My friend took me to a house party and now everyone’s drunk as fuck. I wanted to use the bathroom, but I walked in on you stealing all of their toilet paper. What the hell?
  • We’re both super drunk and stumbling back to our dorms from a party–AND HOLY SHIT THATS A COP JUST ACT NATURAL. FUCKING SHIT HUGGING A SIGN POST ISN’T NATURAL.
  • It’s Halloween and we’re both chilling on the quad, checking out girls. Damn, that’s a very creative slutty ninja.
  • I got out of my night lab class and I just saw you chasing after a stray cat, screaming “KITTY.” Okay then…