idk what am i to do with myself now

anonymous asked:

what thing did you do that you regret😱

opened up to someone. it was one of those things where it was either gonna go well or blow up in my face and it’s more or less taking a wrong turn and i’m just over it. im not going to wait around for someone to realize they want me in their life or not, you know? like if they do then they can make the effort but im done putting myself out there just to get basically ignored again.

  • me two weeks ago : oh my god this show is literally the worst thing that has ever been created, end it now, it's ruining my life and it's not even good
  • me now : *crying on the floor* please don't take pll away from me it's all I have, it's a mess but so am I, I need this show to live

~How can I forget? ~

How can I forget the way you made me feel? That feeling when you hold me tight between your strong arms, when you were trying so hard to make me laugh because I was sad, how I caught you watching me when I woke up, how peaceful I slept next to you smelling your ocean scent. How free but protected you made me feel at the same time. I didn’t feel alone for the first time in my life, just when I was with you I felt like there was someone, someone that will be always there for me no matter what happens. Someone that will love me even with my ugliest times, with my ugly crying face. Someone that I won’t hesitate to call at 3 am and cry to. But now that you’ve gone you stole my hopes, you stole my life will. Now I don’t believe in anyone, I never actually did but you gave me a hope and then broke it. So what am I gonna do now? How am I gonna forget about theese?

Originally posted by atenuousrowbetween

A Drunk Mind Speaks A Sober Heart (Story #8)

  You put your PJ’s on getting ready to have a horror movie marathon. I begin making my way into the pantry to make some microwave popcorn, while it’s cooking I have an internal struggle with myself to either keep my phone on or off. I decided to compromise, I’ll leave it on but only on vibrate. I sit down on my bed surrounded by pillows and blankets, my bowl of popcorn in my lap. I begin to watch my first movie of the night, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

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Hey there studyblr community and anyone else willing to listen! I created this tumblr ages ago with the intention of making a studyblr but it turned more into a place where I save handy masterposts and shit. But now a few decades later I want to get more into posting original stuff instead of just reblogging amazing studyblrs. So I thought I’d introduce myself first.

Bio (sort of idk)

My name is Inez, I’m in y12 (senior year) doing the IB diploma. I live in Australia but was born in the Netherlands, and am fluent in both Dutch and English. I love reading, photography, playing and listening to music and baking and cooking (and much more). I dont really know what I want to do after I leave school, but I’m looking into the design sector (photography and architecture are my biggest options right now).

  • I do HL VA, HL history, HL German, SL Language and Literature, SL Physics and SL maths
  • I row and I do waterpolo, but I’m more in it for the fitness than the actual sport cause I suck at both of them
  • I am really good at procrastinating (hopefully this blog will help me a lil)
  • I play guitar and ukelele (and I want to learn keyboard but Im broke rn so thats gonna have to wait)

Studyblr goals (which I will most definitely fulfil)

  • to become more efficient with my studying
  • to stop procrastinating (or at least keep it to a minimum)
  • to get inspired and motivated to learn
  • to achieve the grades that I want (I think I’ll post some y12 goals later)

Things I like (fandom ugh)


  • superwholock (I mean sorry)
  • I started watching teen wolf recently
  • stranger things
  • im rewatching all the spongebob episodes idk if it counts as an obsession lol


theres too many but Ill just give ya a few

  • just sarah j maas
  • omg DAN BROWN
  • harry potter (duh)
  • shadowhunterss
  • JamES DAshneR
  • and I have a weird obsession with Paulo Coelho


again way too many but here we goo

  • Twenty One Pilots
  • Waterparks
  • All Time Low
  • The Maine
  • Green Day
  • Imagine Dragons
  • Coldplay
  • Sunset Sons
  • Chef’Special

Studyblrs that inspire and motivate me (lol thx for existing)

@emmastudies @studyandtea @studyquill @elkstudies @notebooks-and-teabags @studymite@gloomstudy @serenatatistudy @ravensthetic @oreo-studies @oceannotes @ambitiousalways @mattystudies @a-fangirl-studies @phantomstudies @saplingstudy @witchlingstudies 

and a lot more

so thank you everyone for inspiring me to do this and uuh lets enjoy watching me die in y12 shall we.

P.S. this will most likely end up being partially studyblr and partially photography blog but lets just see what happens

I always want to follow more cool studyblrs so please like/reblog this if you are one so I can follow you and be INSPIRED (thank you again)

Coming Out?

So I accidentally came out to one of my friends today. We were just chillin’ and passing the time with a group of other people when she said something along the lines of, “I’m 74% DONE with today”. And me being me and forgetting that no one there knew that I was pan said, “did you say 74% gAY? because same.” Accompanied by finger guns and a wink. And I swear her eyes got as big as the Cup ‘O Noodles top that I accidentally dropped on myself right then. And no one else really heard us I think, so we just completely ignored the fact that I had said that and went along with the conversation. So now I am very confused

anonymous asked:

URGENT: Gosh, I may ramble a bit, but I have a sh*tty binder that I try not to use unless im extremely uncomfortable. Today I accidentally stayed in a binder for too long and didn't have a sports bra. I now have very very mild bruising on my chest and idk what to do? Help me please im so hecking nervous im gna be in more pain

Lee says:

So, I wore my binder for too long, but I feel okay! Am I injured? What should I do?

I think I hurt myself! What do I do?

-Our Binding FAQ

anonymous asked:

I was looking up your user on twitter and there's post about you supporting incest and pedophila and I don't ever remember that??? Do you know why they'd say that?

Yeah let me explain lol… so basically i have never supported real life incest/pedophilia ever in my life but when i was very young like 13-14 i was exposed to some really bad stuff (bnp, pixiv-esque shota cp) that altered my perception of what it was in fiction. The way i viewed it then was like .. it wasnt creepy in my eyes because i was the same age as the children being preyed upon in the art (which is?? ridiculous logic but i though “oh at least im not an old creepo looking at this to get off on it”) I mainly viewed it as regular shipping lol ( i shipped the characters from dtmg at one point so that’s where the incest thing comes from i think) Like due to my muddled perceptions of what it was i didnt view the characters as a predator/a victim i just saw them as some fictional personalities (which is what they ARE but i didnt take the whole adult/child thing as seriously as i would had it been real life) Idk if i’m explaining myself but basically I AM guilty of believing that sort of art was just like .. harmless at that age. Of course now i understand fully how harmful and damaging that shit is and if i could take back those years of my life and teach young me to not fall into such a disgusting pit of shame i would!!! But i cant, all i can do is apologize for my actions and hope that ppl understand that i’m beyond that now and will not be returning to it ever again lol

anonymous asked:

i like girly things but because of dysphoria and me hating being seen as female i've stopped myself liking them. i like the colour pink but i've kinda repulsed myself from liking it because of dysphoria and now i've noticed that it's happening with more and more things, which i actually like a lot. i feel like it's going to start effecting my life and idk what to do about it because i've tried to change the way i'm thinking about it but can't. does anyone else get this and has any ideas?

Hey there! I am a feminine person, so I like all kinds of “girly” things. But for awhile I was high key grossed out by it all because my mind was feeding into the toxic masculinity that is embedded in western society. I had to consciously make choices about the way I was gonna think about things. Once I started telling myself that everything is a social construct and i am me regardless of any outside factors, liking the things I like got a lot easier


anonymous asked:

Do you get turned on / excited about seeing yourself get bigger or is your gain more related to a love of food or perhaps both?

Yes. And I guess it’s kind of both, but I mean I could easily switch to healthier food. So I guess it’s more about being turned on. But idk, I also am really lazy and don’t feel like making the effort to watch what I eat or deprive myself of anything I want. Like I like to eat and I like to eat a lot now that I’m bigger and have a bigger appetite, but it’s not like I’m more obsessed with food than the majority of people. It’s just that the majority of people have more self control lol. Or faster metabolisms.

Soooo I’m an ft…um, follower. 

Less so “a fan”. A while back, I used to be O B S E S S E D with fairy tail like every noob is obsessed with their first long-term-relationship shounen anime. Now I just keep up with the manga for nostalgic reasons, and I’ve promised myself I’m going to ride that shit out until the end. You know, tribute to my past self.

but idk with how the manga has been going… like where is it going to end? I mostly am sticking around for the ships to get together, if I’m going to be honest. but like…. okay here’s my real issue : WHAT IF MASHIMA DRAGS THE WHOLE ENDING OUT SOOO LONG HE NEVER GETS ANY OF THE SHIPS TOGETHER HE JUST DOES THAT BULLSHIT THING THAT CREATORS DO WHERE THEY JUST IMPLY THE COUPLE GOT TOGETHER


sometimes I wonder where I would be now without knowing the youtubers I watch. What I mean is that people like jack, ethan, mark, robert, etc have helped me grow as an individual through these past few years. They basically helped me realize some things about myself and the world. That it’s ok to be you and that not everyone is against you all the time. I wonder though what my mindset would be like now if I never was recommended to check out their channels (ethan, felix, mark, etc. ) or accidentally found them like jack. I know my personality would be the same but idk if I would have gained some of the confidence I have now to try and put myself out there more and to show the real me to the world. tbh I probably would still be the shy kid who hide in the shadows but being in these communities has changed that. am I perfect no, do I still have my rough times yes, am I still that shy kid of course, but that doesn’t mean it defines me. through my experience with these youtubers I’ve learned that it’s ok to be yourself no matter what others may say and there really are great, loving, people out there just waiting to grace your life. Life can has its ups and downs but thier are people in your life willing to catch you when you fall and help you back up. Just remember that you do matter and what ever you’re going through it’ll pass, you just have to stay strong, determined, and most importantly believe in yourself. In the end, you are the only person with the power to change your life for the better so just keep swimming. it’s these exact messages that I like to constantly keep in my heart and pass on to anyone who may need it but I know it never would have had the same impact if it wasn't​ from those I absorbed it from; the youtubers I watch. I know to some they just be people on the other side of the screen but to me they are game changers who are impacting individuals each day the same that they have for me. like I said, who knows what my mindset would be if I never found them but it’s useless to dwell on what could of been. Honestly, I’m just greatful that I’ve gotten the chance to know​ these people through youtube and the journey that I’ve gotten to go on through them and individually has been incredible. that being said, just thanks for all that you guys do and just keep doing what you do best as you moving forward ❤

hey so i’m struggling with my identity and think i’m a girl i don’t know what i’m doing or what’s going on i literally want to cry

It’s been so long, it’s been so long. Maybe we’re fireproof~

BAND AU Part 3. During concerts, Haru would randomly hug Makoto from the back because, god YES, he can do this in public now that they’re out. He can actually tell the world that he loves this boy more than anything. No more hiding. Just wow. He’s just really happy. Next would be kissing Makoto in front of everyone but he’s still working on it. Baby steps. If you dunno the song “Fireproof” then what are you doing ಠ_ಠ 

oikenobi  asked:

ju help seeing leia in that trailer broke me idk what to do with myself right now oh god i love her so much

LISTEN I totally missed her the first time (I have really bad connection today) and I was so disappointed but then I saw it again and I. Am not. Over it. Mark my words, they’re gonna keep her alive

Together With You [Saeyoung Choi/Reader]

Fandom: Mystic Messenger
Pairing: Saeyoung Choi/Reader [you]
Summary: Saeyoung is devastated by your sudden intrigue in hacking. No matter the times he’s turned you away from it, you continue to persist. Even in the blissful night wrapped in each others arms, the worry remains.

Check out my other MYSMR fics!
It Was With You [Saeran Choi/You]
You’re With Me [Saeran Choi/You]
Under Your Spell [Jumin Han/You][NSFW]
Regular Visitor [V/You]

A/n: I’ve noticed a correlation between me writing MYSMR fics and having really cheesy titles. I love it.

Also this is 4 @kirachama beause i promised like forever ago. forgive me, friend. i will write you something more next time.

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ok i drag greek a lot, we all do, but do you ever just get that romantic feeling while you are struggling through it? Like you are translating a dead language and you don’t know who is speaking but it is like catching whispers behind a curtain, the voices lost and indistinguishable but the words remain, a shadow play of light without heat from stars now dead and light years away, snatches of things in a language no one learns on their mother’s knees anymore, foreign phrases and idioms in strange orders that sound more and more natural the more they appear to you - “Truly, you speak?” “Why indeed?” “I do not understand what you say” “I suppose” “To be one, or two?” Watching these words drop like pebbles and pass through other centuries, other decades, other languages and transcriptions, as blurred as they are illuminated.

Is that why I am still studying this?