idk was just watching mean girls

Headcanons for Percy’s favorite Disney movie are based on the assumption that he Loves the ocean. Cool, fine. But then why would his favorite movie be The Little Mermaid? A movie about a girl who doesn’t like being in the water, who dreams of getting away from her family and home and being independent, and in the end chooses to leave the ocean permanently, to the point she even isolates her daughter from part of her identity? Doesn’t really make sense.

And Finding Nemo? As a kid that can actually talk to sea creatures, I think it’d be hard for him to watch because it’d be so inaccurate and he’d just end up annoyed, especially when specific sea creatures are portrayed as mean. Idk, I can almost see an argument for this but I just don’t think it fits as well as others.

But Moana? It’s about a girl who loves her island and her home. She loves her people. But yet? The sea calls to her. She connects to it. Even with all the love she has for her island, she feels the tug of the sea. She always finds herself back at the water’s edge. And I just think Percy would relate to that. To her love for her family and the ocean.

Just saw PP3 for the second time

I have to say I liked it even better the second time around!

A few things:

I loved seeing Beca working as a producer and being such a boss and taking charge at her job 🙌🏼

Chloe being in her Bella uniform and wearing it to work to feel special cleansed my soul

Toxic is still my favorite number they all looked so good during it and the way Bechloe were looking at each other 👀😍

Anna Kendrick singing Human during the riff off was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard

Brittany singing Love Me Harder was so attractive

The fact that’s it’s canon the the Bellas have been sexual with each other at some point

I loved the fact that it was Beca (and I mean Fat Amy too) who had to rescue the Bellas

Lily talking at the end was still fucking hilarious

I loved that Aubrey got to see her dad that was so cute I love her so much and am so happy for her

I loved how Beca immediately turned down the offer like you could tell she didn’t even consider it for a second until she got the okay from every single Bella. Theo said “this is a hard decision” and Beca said something like “it really isn’t” I LOVED THIS she wouldn’t even consider doing anything without these girls that have become her family until they told her it was okay and gave her their support

Beca crying at the end KILLED ME. Like our little alt girl who acts so tough and has these walls built up to protect herself was CRYING with the Bellas because she loves them so much

Also can we talk about Beca’s character development like my girl used to be so moody and honestly probably depressed like she hated college and just slept all day and ditched class and now all these years later she’s graduated and still singing with these girls and crying on stage with them after her solo performance I’m so proud of her

I still can’t get over how fucking GAY Beca was the entire movie like literally nothing she said was heterosexual

And how much Beca hated Theo like lmao shout out to Kendrick for saving that movie. She literally told them she wanted to film a kiss with Brittany and she refused to kiss Theo. AN ICON.

The nostalgic montage during the end credits had me crying again like I loved all the clips from the first movie like baby Anna K doing Cups that started it all and just seeing all the behind the scenes stuff of them messing around they love each other so much no wonder Brittany was shook when she watched that at the premiere and had to find Camp so that they could cry together

Idk I just can’t stress enough how much I love these girls and how important these movies are to me. And the fact that they have an all female cast and a female director and producer and writer is so rare and important. I love the girl power message in these movies and how supportive the girls are of each other in the movie and in real life. These movies just mean so much to me and I love it so much

if someone says bless you during the ACT because someone sneezed are they supposed to get in trouble?? like if your watch or phone accidentally goes off you get disqualified but what about those kids who won’t stop saying bless you to every single sneeze

Watching Lili’s livestream, I was struck by how comfortable she was just chatting on her screen while getting her touches, talking about the new season and promoting her next episode. I know that means like nothing to anyone, but I just felt this rush of pride with how confident she was in what has become her everyday life. She’s come so far, and I couldn’t be happier to witness her blossoming into the star she is clearly becoming.

watching skyeward in the framework is just….the most frustrating thing because WE COULD HAVE HAD THIS we could have had this in real life if the writers weren’t so hellbent on fucking up grant ward’s character six ways to sunday

the way he hovered over her shoulder! the way she told him to stop mouth breathing on her! the way she grabbed him and then kissed him on the cheek as a cover to slip him that paper! the way she sacrificed herself so he could get the intel to simmons! the way he said he’d die for her!! 

this is the ship that i wanted and yeah, i guess it’s better late than never that we are getting it now even if it’s all fake, but it also feels like an epically cruel level of trolling from the writers, like, we could’ve made him this interesting from season 1 but we chose not to because we thought it would be a better story if he were a nazi and then an alien husk and then dead! but hey, look at what could have been, isn’t that fun? 

and maybe i’m missing something major but what the fuck was fitz’s biggest regret that he ended up madame hydra’s fuckboy and became a sociopath? how did that happen? how does not being with simmons erase all the good that was in him? it’s such a cheap trope that i hate, that a man is only good because a woman made him that way, that he becomes a monster wehen he loses the love of his life. no, leo fitz has always been good because that’s who he is - he didn’t need jemma for that. they made each other better by bringing out the best in what was already in the other. 

and maybe i’m still missing something major but may NOT killing a little girl leads to may becoming a stone cold nazi?? may showing humanity leads to may not having any humanity?? may not killing the girl and therefore NOT following orders leads to may blindly following any and all orders? what am i missing?? how does that logically make sense?? 

just fucking throw me in the framework so i can see what my life would’ve been like if i’d never watched this show. it’s not like i hate it, i mean, imma still watch it….it’s just so….frustrating sometimes because i think it could be so much better than it is! the female characters are fucking AMAZING and the action sequences are really really well done but man idk maybe i don’t pay close enough attention but sometimes it just does NOT make sense and i will be forever salty over its treatment of grant ward not because he was a hero but because he had so much potential to be a full on villain or an anti-hero or to have a redemption arc and they squandered all of that

but uh great work with framework phil he’s adorable can we keep him please


A/N  hey guys this is writer aish I’ve decided to keep all my scenarios and au’s on this blog so my main @yeol2bean can only be for my fangirl stuff and reblogging stuff. so in celebration of JJ project’s comeback, here’s boyfriend!jaebum
you can find the rest of my boyfriend series here

Originally posted by saranghaeyojw

  • The kind of frustrating boyfriend who’d never accept his feelings or acknowledge them in front of you, for fear of letting himself be loved.
  • Jaebum’s biggest issue in the ordeal of finding and staying in love, is just himself. Everytime he finds himself around someone that he actually wants to spoil and spend his life with, he always forces himself to consider his career or all the troublesome things that could lead to a happy ending. His default setting is pessimism. But it’s really impossible to do that around you
  • You find yourself backstage at one of got7’s concerts. Your friend was an intern at a management company that helped out during events and honestly you were just there to drop off some juice and food for her and her coworkers. You had heard a lot of tales about how the backstage of a concert looked and felt like and you knew it was no easy feat. But you hadn’t expected your friend to barrel at you when you saw her and drag you to the waiting room because one makeup intern hadn’t showed up and there were 7 minutes left to the stage and one of the got7 members had just woken up and there was no one to do makeup for him because everyone was going crazy.
  • You held her hand and tried to assure her that it really wasn’t your place and you didn’t wanna mess with the idols and get yourself (or worse – her) kicked out because of some mistake. But in her words, “it’s like code red right now and me talking to you just might get me kicked out y/n PLEASE SAVE MY LIFE” ofcourse a friend in need must be helped so you find yourself with a huge (alarming) makeup set and in front of a sleeping jaebum
  • You tried to get some instructions from the girl working on youngjae next to you, trying your best to understand everything in whisper yells, trying not to wake up jaebum or anyone sleeping behind him. Jinyoung occasionally looks up and eventually passes his manager’s phone with a picture of their last stage with jaebum’s makeup as a guide. You whisper a quick thank you and get working but the minute your fingers touch his skin, jb jerks awake and holds your wrist tightly and dazedly asks
  • who the hell are you?”
  • Though rolling your eyes is a very good option, you don’t have time for that. So you tug your wrist out, murmur a quick ‘the makeup girl’ and keep working on his face. Every few minutes, his eyes keep darting around him, still suspicious. He even tries to ask youngjae for help but youngjae is too busy belting out songs and warming up his throat and eventually jb resigns back into his seat and people are yelling @ you to finish this quick because THE MC IS ON THE STAGE ALREADY GUYS
  • You can see that every minute makes jb even more nervous so while you’re adding the last bit of mineral powder to set his makeup in place and surveying his hair, you hold onto his wrist. His eyes dart back to you, absolutely shit terrified and he looks at you warily. But you manage to smile at him and go “you can’t go wrong when you look like this ok? Im putting my bets on you.” And while he’s perplexed as hell, you boop his nose and walk out to find your friend
  • Jinyoung obviously smirks to himself behind the script to his new drama
  • By the time you’re out, your friend is in the clear and the concert begins and you say your goodbyes and promise her you’ll meet her later for gossip and coffee or something
  • And nobody mentions anything of that evening except that one time your friend asked how you managed to be in such close proximity with jb and didn’t scream because she knew you were a fan and you were like ‘listen I was tyna d e a l but also the poor boy was so nervous I really couldn’t scream and scare him even more. He looked like a cat dreading a bath’
  • But is that the end of it???? No because jb just can’t forget this cool and chic girl who walked into his life (aka dressing room) and did his makeup, gave him a smooth af pep talk and walked out just as suavely. But ofcourse he’s got a team to lead and performances to perform and concerts to do and like he can’t possibly ask his manager to track down someone amirite so he keeps mum

Originally posted by jaybleep

  • But jinyoung cannot handle how passive aggressive jaebum has become because everytime he sees a new female staff at a GOT7ing shoot or a photoshoot or around the office, he does a double take and creepily stares at them from afar because he keeps expecting you to show up again out of the blue. So jinyoung takes it upon himself finally and he pops up by your friend at their next music bank stage like ‘hey who’s that friend of yours that keeps giving you juice and stuff?’ and your friend is so flustERED AF because jinyoung the prince is talking to her but she gets her shit together soon enough like why she’s just a mom friend why do you wanna know
  • And jinyoung being the absolute savage he is, SPILLS.
  • So jinyoung and your friend get into a secret (unnecessarily elaborate) mission to bring about a natural meeting between the two of you and jinyoung basically drags jb to a café you were supposed to meet your friend at, late in the evening. It’s a weekday and most of the crowd has gone home for dinner and the café is nearly closing and you are sending the last of your emails and finishing up work (maybe updating tumblr idk) and jinyoung and jb walk in and you don’t notice them because who cares your friend will find you but jaebum just yells “MAKEUP GIRL” and you legit wanna put your head down like guys it’s been a long day don’t @ me (a/n this is me in real life guys) but you look up anyway to see JB STALKING TOWARDS YOU LIKE A PANTHER AND HE JUST
  • what do you mean place your bets on me? You just walked off like that?? What was I supposed to think??
  • You are quite shook at this point and you’re just watching jb glare at you confused and sit back because he’s also confused about why he’s behaving like this, next to a very smug jinyoung and your friend who carefully slinks into your booth and you’re just looking from one person to another and you’re super low on human strength to communicate so you just make out a bare ‘wait what?’ before jinyoung and your friend decide to SKIDADDLE and leave the two of you to maybe  get something to eat? Drink? Make it a date? Idk you guys go crazy!
  • Jaebum, who by now has finally realized that you are very lost, offers to buy you food and you refuse out of habit and he just shakes his head and gets up and offhandedly mutters over his shoulder ‘if you don’t come along I’ll just order whatever for you’ so you fucking get off your arse and follow him like a lost puppy.
  • When your order is all settled and the barista gets to work you just turn to him and ask him what the hell is he doing here and wow why is this so comfortable? You just spoke to him like he was some sot of long term friend you hadn’t seen in a while? And he chuckles under his breath because you said all of that out loud and he replies, ‘honestly I don’t know what’s happening to me either but I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again’
  • And wow im jaebum we did not know you could flirt so well and he just shrugs like well I didn’t know either.
  • You guys get to talking and exchange numbers and meet up often for casual food dates blah blah you guys know the drill but that’s not even the fun part
  • Jb is CONVINCED that he’ll never get a normal life of just being a boyfriend with you, out in the sun, enjoying the day and you’re like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and you take it upon yourself to plan dates with him where you can take him out but he won’t be stalked by fans or anything and that is. Hard

Originally posted by j-miki

  • So you come up with the weirdest date ideas and you have to pull a lot of strings to make that happen like the time you asked one of your lawyer friends if he could help you sneak onto the terrace of his building so jaebum and you could have a picnic and look at the skyline from there and jb is just like ‘how did you manage to do this??? I can see everyone but no one can see me??’
  • And on days when there is a baseball match or like graduation in schools, you decide THIS IS THE DAY and you take him to spots that are frequented by high school kids like lets say a famous café strip or some quaint little beach drive and nobody there really cares about him because the kids are at their graduation and he’s so shook because this was such a brilliant idea why did he never think of this
  • One time you guys took a late night bus to a small coastal town and spent the day in the most remote places that were only frequented by locals and the fisherwomen cooed over how you and jaebum looked so cute walking by the sea, holding hands and trying to take care of each other and jb is so happy because even adults that aren’t related to him, approve of you
  • But as your relationship progresses you realise that jb is just a very simple man like his idea day is just perform for his fans, have a successful practice day, maybe get inspired and write some lyrics and make progress on the album, and come home + strip to his shorts + make dinner with you
  • He’s so domestic, he loves making dinner with you. He doesn’t care if you’re good or if you’re making Korean food or whatever. He says that just cutting vegetables in the same space as you, without any words and just jazz playing in the background makes him calm. On really bad days, he looks forward to this time and if he is too tired he’ll sit on the kitchen counter with a carrot or a cucumber and just watch you cook and listen to you talk about your day because he doesn’t have the energy to talk but he thinks listening to what each other has to say is the most important part of a relationship
  • Such a random hand holder like you won’t even see it coming. He would love it if your hands are smaller than his and everytime you hold hands his brain just explodes with ‘OHMYGOD THEIR HANDS ARE SO SMALL AND CUTE MUST PROTECT ASDFGHJKL”
  • Nsfw time. Jaebum is bed is a force to be reckoned with because this man is feral, let me tell you a definite strong dom with the most simple but sensual kinks like he just loves neck biting and tracing your collarbone with his lips. Absolutely adores tummy kisses and will put in all his efforts to kiss every inch of your skin but hopes for nothing in return
  • Will worship the very earth you walk upon if you change things up a little and press kisses to the inside of his elbows and behind his ears and trace your tongue over the outline of his bellybutton and will fucking lose it if you graze your nails down to his navel and he’s just like smh just let me do you already
  • Not very patient.  Not very quiet. Always moans like he’s seething in anger but he’s just legit trying to keep himself in check from BITING INTO YOUR SKIN and like taking you from here to Neverland wow
  • A sucker for forehead kisses, especially in the mornings when he’s barely awake but he can feel every inch of your skin next to him
  • Jb is such a warm pessimistic angtsy sweetheart he deserves all the love guys.

anonymous asked:

They are using the fact that ksoo watched the ha_ndmaiden as a proof that he is very str8! That it's a hot movie every dude in Kor watched to jrk off ?! I haven't watched it myself so i can't tell but wtf!

Please make sure you’re over a certain age if you want to watch this movie. It’s not just bcoz of the erotic scenes but there were torturing and some graphic disturbing scenes as well. Or watch at your own risk.

The movie was inspired by the novel, Fingersmith. I never read that novel so I’m not sure how similar the movie is with the novel.

The plot was so-so (imo). But the characterizations were disturbingly amazing. Even the architecture, clothes and set-up were beautiful. Jjs said ks likes noir films, I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually enjoyed the movie. There was a twist in the movie which I didn’t see it coming. The erotic part of the movie was moaning (does that even count?), boobies and the handmaiden reading the erotic novels for the perverted men. Oh, perhaps the girls getting it on? Their boobies are very healthy btw.

Imo, this movie isn’t just a ‘movie guy can jrk off’ to. It showed how women were used for men’s sexual pleasures (if guy jerk of to this idk what to say), no tragic ending for the same-sex couple and how money could drive ppl to do the unspeakable.

Ks is an actor himself and this movie was nominated and won a lot of awards. It is a movie worth more than a jerk off material for an actor. I think if he wants to jerk off, he could just drop by the porn sites. I mean, idk bout watching girls making out would make ks straight so… what should I watch to make myself a lesbian hmmmm. Lmao.

Take care, anon~

Main Reason I'm Team Sucy

Hi it’s me. I love Sucy x Akko.

So the main reason is episode eight (if that’s the wrong number I mean the one where Akko goes into Sucy’s mind and they just yah you know??). Because that whole episode just gave us so much potential. which was sadly never followed up on but like if diakko ain’t canon idk what is

Anyway we’re here to talk about my otp not Diakko. Basically we’ll start at the cinema. You know when Akko goes to the cinema with the other Sucys and they’re playing back memories?? Yeah so we see Sucy playing tricks on Akko and in general, it’s kinda funny.

Akko is at first a little miffed but starts to laugh. Note how most of these memories include Akko.

Then we get to the big part. Akko’s confused and asks one of the Sucys what’s going on. And that Sucy acts happy and is like “Oh it’s always playing, I love it” ( or close enough to). So basically, the memory of Sucy meeting Akko is always playing. She just keep remembering it.

And can we appreciate how the style of the tv thing changes to be so much nicer, obviously how Sucy sees it. And all these parts of Sucy just sit watching it play and they all love it. You know what I’m getting at?? I mean like, this is the girl that tried to sacrifice them to get a chicken feather. If this ain’t something idk what is

And then we get to the kiss part. (can we appreciate that Sucy was in room 666 tho? I mean I haven’t seen much on that and it’s honestly the best ).

So the kiss. I mean like I understand Akko was under pressure but even she could have though to idk maybe pour the potions in Sucy’s mouth?? Because that’s the logical thing?? But no. She was like no I’m gonna kiss her. Which take anyway you want but yeah. You see.

Also, the dragon creature. It actually stopped and started like fangirling because Akko was going to kiss Sucy. Hahaha so funny, it’s us fans idk. But really if you look into it, I do think it implies Sukko.

Because no one can deny that that dragon wanted Akko to kiss Sucy. And this dragon is made up of parts of Sucy . So basically it’s parts of Sucy wanting Akko to kiss her.

Also (here comes the sadder part), this creature was made out of the Sucys that were going to be killed. Sucy was killing these parts of her off to survive but Akko saved them.

So basically this was Sucy killing off the parts of herself that want her to kiss Akko, to survive. And that just gives me feels.

Also the kind!Sucy was a part of this. Sucy was killing off the part of her that was kind. Why? She’s not a horrible person, she really cared about Akko and Lotte. So why?

Because this part of her, the nice part, was getting feelings for Akko. And she was getting rid of it.

The court scene shows that it wasn’t even up for debate. Kind!Sucy must die because Sucy needs to survive. Funny? Was it really? Or did it have a deeper meaning? Hmm….. (also Akko being protective over the kind side of Sucy, just fuck me up down and sideways)

Also I like to think these feelings remained because we never saw if the dragon died. Or what happened to those parts of Sucy. So for all we know they survived and so did these feelings.

Well that was my thoughts ^-^ Team Sucy ftw

I remember being like 8 or 9 maybe? And my family would watch that show the secret life of an American teenager even tho it was godawful and I just remember having a dream where I kept kissing one of the girls from the show and I woke up in a Gay Panic™ like What Does This Mean

So, this is going to be short because I’ve never written for Thor before, but I want to. So, I’m going to try!

I’m going to keep the setting general; I’m just tossing Loki in because I love him and want to write him. So, we’ll just say he’s been up to his usual shenanigans and is being watched at Stark Tower.

Okay, I’ll shut up now.

Thor’s face feels hot, uncomfortably so. It feels as if there’s a raging fire burning against his bones and pushing against his skin in pounding waves that leave his temples pulsing with pain. Yet, his core feels as if it’s been frozen over, leaving him almost shaking from the cold. It’s a stark contrast– the heat of his face and the cold of his core– and it’s enough to have him speak up.


From the other side of the room, Loki’s hand twitches ever so slightly at the sound of his name, but he ignores it, keeping his eyes glued to tablet in front of him.

“Brother, something is happening that I do not understand.”

With a deep, long sigh, Loki sets the tablet down onto the coffee table beside him and shoots Thor an arched brow while tilting his head. “What, Thor? You’ve been sitting there watching me for the last hour. What could possibly be wrong?” His tone is dry, annoyed, as if he’s ready to move this conversation along as quickly as he can manage.

“My face is burning,” Thor says, poking at his cheek with a frown. “But, my body is freezing.”

A hint of a frown tugs at Loki’s lips as he uncrosses his legs and gets to his feet. He moves across the room slowly, gaze silently scanning the deep red flush spread high across Thor’s cheeks. He stops before his brother and leans down to brush the back of his hand to Thor’s forehead, for only a moment, just long enough to feel the heat.

“You’ve got a fever,” Loki says absently as he pulls his hand away and starts back to his chair.

“What does that mean?” Thor asks, tone borderline shouting.

“It means you’re ill.” Loki says as he takes his seat.  

“I am not ill,” Thor argues, but when he gets to his feet to storm toward his brother, the room tilts, and his vision darkens to a deep grey that has him stumbling back into the chair.

Loki shakes his head and spares a glance toward one of the many cameras in the room– he knows people are watching him. People are always watching him. “Send Banner,” he calls out. “Thor is… invalid at the moment.”

“I am not!” Thor roars, blinking rapidly to rid his vision of the darkness tugging at the edges. “I do not know what that means, but I am not!”

Loki can’t help the tease of a smirk that plays across his lips as he picks the tablet back up, and just seconds later, Bruce is walking into the room with Steve hot on his heels.

“You’re sick?” Bruce asks, already crouching down beside Thor and using one hand to feel Thor’s forehead while the other counts his pulse.

“No,” Thor protests, but the heat coating Bruce’s palm says otherwise.  

“You’re running a pretty impressive fever,” Bruce replies calmly. “I assume your head hurts?”

Nodding, Thor brings one hand to his temple. “It is pounding.”

“Then you’re definitely sick.” Bruce says, holding one hand up before Thor can protest further. “It’s okay; everyone gets sick. Steve’s going to help you back to your room, and I’ll meet you both in there shortly.”

Thor seems reluctant, but he trusts Banner. He slowly gets to his feet, swaying dangerously until Steve steadies him with a strong arm around his waist.

“It’s okay, bud,” Steve mutters as he leads Thor out of the room. “I’ve got you.”

Bruce takes Thor’s empty seat and pulls out his phone, and Loki spares a glance toward the medic.

“You aren’t leaving.” He doesn’t mean it as a question– the answer is obvious– but Bruce treats it as such.

“I’m staying to watch you until Clint gets here, so don’t piss me off.”

At this, Loki snaps a sharp, narrow gaze back to his tablet as a single drop of sweat trickles slowly down his temple.

Jaehyun - ideal type

literally 5 people requested for this lmaooo. But I’m not surprised bc jaehyun is actually perfection. Anyways lol here ya go..


- ok likes to smile a lotttt 

- filial girl 

- but likes sports too (i.e. volleyball, basketball, etc) 

- loves reading, I just feel like jaehyun rly likes reading idk, but if he does, he’d like if y'all would read together and shtuff 

- confident 

- but humble 

- I mean like ur gonna have to ask him out first let’s be real lmao 

- likes to sing: duets get ready for some duETS IF U DATING HIM 

- is up to anything like just sitting at home watching netflix or exploring 

 - competitive af 

- I mean come on, when y'all r playing board games 99.9% chance you’ll complain that he moved too far 

- loves the beachhhh 

- supportive 

 - and kind, like not self-centered 

 - good sense of humor 


- this is rly hard ummm 

- let’s see 

- eye smile 

- different variety of clothing 

- glasses: cuz y'all read lol - 

dimples, I mean dimple couple that’d be the cutest thing ever 

- anything honestly 

- I feel like jaehyun cares more abt personality 

 - but lemme just say, don’t change who u r to fit someone’s ideal type :) 

 note: this is 100% coming from my imagination and based on the info that I know abt jaehyun

Originally posted by suhyoungho

anonymous asked:

Hi!! Let me say at first how much I appreciate you, your blog is my favourite one!! Thank you for keeping it interesting and diverse! I have a question. Do you by any chance understand what bts comeback concept has to do with words 'love yourself'?? I got that album is about falling in love, being special for someone and unique moments in one's life etc. But i still can't get why they imply that the concept is about loving one's self if this issue barely was touched upon? Am i missing on smth?

but it was written in every breath they took in producing the album bby TT 

their comeback stage showed it all, they could’ve started with intro: serendipity, but no, they straight up went with ‘i need u’ the song that took them to where they are now. they mentioned how everyone cried so much when they had their very first win with i need u, especially jimin. it was in i need u that they realized they might just.. have made it, a step further. if you’ve been with them for a while, you’d know how dirty bangtan and army were treated, like really we were dissed left and right it was really a tough situation especially for k-armys they can’t even be proud of our boys or even mention their names in articles without getting ridiculed just cos they’re not ‘big’ TT and even when we had our first win, bangtan still get called out for ridiculous reasons that’s just. the fact that they made their comeback with i need u shows just how much they treasure the moment the fans that made it possible at that time, i need u was the breakthrough, i need u made them realize that they can actually be… happy now, and move forward. and maybe love themselves more, and performing mic drop afterwards shows exactly that :)

honestly love yourself album is in every sense, calls you to love yourself, if not, more, even when you don’t think you can, just look at the lyrics

just let me love you
since the time the universe was first formed
everything has been decided
just let me love you
–intro: serendipity

and when they say

don’t worry, love
because all of this is isn’t a coincidence
(even when) we are totally different, baby
because (of that still) destiny is found in the two of us
since the day the universe came into existence, it has continuously been so
and transcending for infinite centuries, it will continuously be so
from our past lives too, perhaps, and even the next lives to come
because we will still be together forever (no matter)

doesn’t that encourage you to embrace yourself, despite our differences? and

when you say that you love me
feels like i’m treading on the sky/heavens
tell me about forever just one more time
when you say that you love me
i, i’ll be fine even if just those words
that you would never change, just one more time
–best of me

bangtan treasures us so much as they treasure themselves that they wish for our love to never change no matter how bad things might get 

i wonder if it’s a mistake an angel left behind
if not that then, a deep kiss?
that dimple is illegal
but I want it anyway anyway anyway
–보조개 (dimple)

did you know? that dimples are a medical flaw, a genetic defect that is caused by shortened facial muscles, which is why when we smile, the shorten muscle pulls the skin on our face causing a dimple. but somehow in our society, dimples are embraced and carries a mark of beauty and loveliness the contradiction is fascinating how human perception can override facts, and i personally think this is what makes the song more meaningful despite the casual pop tune, because what ever flaw you think you have, might not be a flaw at all. you can chose to hide it by not smiling, but isn’t it lovely when you smile? love yourself.

now stop watching (and) start studying for (your) exams
your parents and your manager/boss they dislike me
all those video clips you’ve watched, twitter photos,
v app, bon voyage 
i know they’re so good, what should we do
stop. the music video, (i’m saying) interpret (it) later
aren’t there plenty of my photos in your room, anyway
what is an hour even? a year passes by just like that
this song is a reward i’m giving (it) to you.
good girl/good boy
–pied piper

btw 착해 is an expression, a good compliment you usually receive from an elderly person/grown up when if you do well in something, its not sexual guys idk why some ppl imply it is lmao

so when bangtan says this they mean it wholeheartedly like a friend, like an older brother because they know how bad we have it for them, they know how much influence they have on us, as much as we ahve on them. despite scolding us, albeit, in a loving manner, they really want the best for us. unlike the original story where the pied piper drove the children away from the town of hamelin when the town ppl refuse to pay for his service in luring the plague causing rats away, bangtna isn’t set to lure us away, they in fact, want us to go to them, be with them, love with them, but in addition, we have to set our priorities in real life straight, so that, everyone can appreciate our love too, and maybe, the society won’t put much hate on us anymore.

please army remember what we say, love myself, love yourself, i really love you, and thank you

–skit: billboard music awards speech

this says everything hnnggghh

yeah? who said my ‘spoon was dirty’
i don’t care, when i grab the mic i own those whole lot of ‘gold spoons’
all of a sudden, those that didn’t cook well are in rage, those lot of steaks 
i’ll chew on y’all over and over again, on the star’s dinner table
–mic drop

oh man i need another post dedicated to mic drop there’s so many things to talk about in this 

the thing i earn with hard work, my pay
gonna spend it all on my tummy 
all the pennies i collect/count just to waste it all (on my tummy)
leave me be, even if i overspend
or come tomorrow morning and like a crazy guy
my savings, if i cash them all out (leave me be)
woo there’s no tomorrow
my future’s been seized for collateral  
woo my money’s all further spent 
friends, wassup?
do you want some?
–고민보다 Go (rather than worrying, go)

this whole song is satirical critique tbh even the dance choreography pls appreciate them

and then the outro, which reiterates everything about love and sacrifice, about being the best of yourself, about loving yourself first and foremost

the world is a complex
we was lookin’ for love
i am too, just one of those ppl
honestly even i didn’t believe in real love
like a habit i said i want to love, just babbling like that
but i found myself
the whole new myself
even if i’m confused, which am i is the real me
me meeting you makes me wonder, aren’t i a book?
or is it you, who are the turning pages (of my book)?
–outro: her


theres a reason why bangtan made the skit and sea as hidden tracks, you have to undertsand that bangtan has come a longg way. and one of the reasons why they were finally able to get their first win the last time was through purchase of physical copies, which helped tremendously raise the sales. bangtan may be celebrated and loved wordlwide but back in their home ground, they were nobodies, which is why buying physical copy always meant more even (especially for k-fandoms) since you’re willing to go for an extra mile, its part of kfandom culture for fans to invest a lot of time and money for their group supports and projects to help get their fave name out there, sure you can like/listen to other groups but ultimately, hundreds of idols debut eveyr year so in order to make sure your group lasts a long time, korean fans consider it very important to pledge their loyalty to a single group and support them with all you have, this is why it was even harder for karmys because we come from small company :’)

and now that they are getting success tremendously over the past year (BANGTAN’S #7 ON BILLBOARD 200 GUYS PLEASE GIVE YOURSELFVES A PAT WE DID THAT), love yourself is to be quite honest, an album dedicated to armys all round, and those two tracks are just a little bit more intimate, and more on a personal level, which is why it was hidden from the rest of the world, i’d like to think that the reason they kept it hidden in a physical copy because they know for certain that only their fans would purchase a physical copy, and that they want us to be the first ppl to hear it, to listen to their laments, their grieves, their happiness, their love, they just wanna them share with us first and foremost, because they know only we would get it, because we’ve been there

in the end the mirage is caught and
it becomes reality, and
the desert i was once afraid
became the sea with our blood, sweat, and tears
but then amongst all this happiness,
what are these fears?
because this place is originally a desert, we know this too well

Descendants 2 Soundtrack: Ranked

7. Kiss The Girl: it wasn’t even in the movie so i mean???

6. You and Me: THOROUGHLY DISAPPOINTED WITH ITS PLACEMENT IN THE MOVIE; imo it was just too slow for an ending sequence, not a bad song though

5. Ways To Be Wicked: i liked it a lot more before i actually watched the movie, it was just kind of randomly there

4. What’s My Name: partially tied with the next one, idk i rlly enjoyed them both

3. It’s Goin’ Down: got me hype also the dance is iconic™

2. Space Between: the gayest song i’ve ever heard & it was so beautiful

1. Chillin’ Like A Villain: the greatest song to grace the disney channel in 10 years don’t even get me started bc i will never stop talking about this song

Football Modern Spot Conlon x Reader

Summary: The Manhattan boys come along with you to watch your boyfriend Spot play football at the homecoming game.

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s note: This was super fun to write and while it was kinda everywhere near the end,  I just had to write some Spot HC because I totally had a crush on the 1992 version of Spot.

Warning: Just one or two cuss words and I’m not an expert at football so if I got anything wrong I’m sorry! Also I was going to write Spot as a Quarterback but it seemed more realistic for him to be a running back.

Request: “Head cannon where modern 1992 Spot is on the football team and you’re his girl and you go to all his games and cheer him on along with racetrack or romeo or idk any newsie please and thank you, but if you can’t do modern than can you do uh just a hc about spot conlon xD my creativity is gone but pls”

- before meeting spot, you had never really enjoyed watching football or going to the games at school

- I mean you watched the Superbowl

-for the commercials

- and the wings your dad picked up from Buffalo Wild Wings

-(I’m craving wings right now oops)

-but other than that you never really showed interest in football

-that is until you started dating Spot Conlon

-most of Spot’s time went towards football because he was really counting on getting a football scholarship

-he made sure he went to every single practice and was always the first on the field and the last to hit the showers

-occasionally if you weren’t busy with your own extracurriculars, you would do homework with Davey and Kathrine on the bleachers as your boyfriend practiced

- you loved watching him play because you could tell how much he genuinely liked playing football

- the first couple of games weren’t as boring as you thought it would be

- Race was more than helpful at explaining the breakdown of the game so you wouldn’t be lost

- And Jack’s cheering and hollering were scary but always made sure you could see what was happening

- game after game Brooklyn High was undefeatable

-even Manhattan high, the school you went to, lost 13-42

-all of the Manhattan boys chose to cheer on Spot’s team instead

- the night of the homecoming game was stressful, to say the least

- you came to the stadium early  to tell Spot ‘good luck’ before the game and you spotted him sitting in the middle of the bleachers, looking out onto the field

-“You look stressed Conlon, everything okay?” you asked as you sat down next to him

- he must’ve been running sometime before since sweat was visible on the top of his forehead and down his neck

-and even though he was sweaty, you didn’t pull away when he wrapped his hand around your waist to pull you closer to him

- “me? Nervous? Nah…just- anxious about tonight. It’s a big game and I don’t want to let anyone down.”

-You gently squeezed his hand to reassure him

-“ Spot, I’ve seen how hard you’ve been practicing, you aren’t going to let your team down- number 26 though- he’s god awful that boy can barely return-”

-“ I don’t care about the school I just don’t want to let you down (Y/N).”

- You placed a soft kiss on his lips and after you two pulled apart, his signature smirk was finally back

-“ You’d never let me down, Conlon.”

-skipping ahead to the night of the game

-the student section was packed full of unfamiliar faces since you went to Manhattan High

-and all you wanted to do was find your friends

-but when you heard Albert’s deafening yell from the very first row, you eased up

-most of the Manhattan boys came to support Spot

-even Kathrine and Sarah were there with homemade posters

- you were wearing Spot’s red and gold jersey and your hair was tied back with a red bow that you stole from Specs’s room

- you opted out for painting your face but Jack insisted you paint at least a red dash on either side of your cheeks

- some of the boys had the number 18 written on them

-(chose 18 cause of 1899 Strike anyway continue)

- Albert and Race’s faces were split down the middle with red and gold

- and you were about 99% sure you heard Race betting big bucks again

- the time came where the team rushed the field, the cheers already starting and your eyes frantically searched for number 18

- you spotted him on the field as soon as the game started and you were immediately immersed in the game

- It made sense that Spot was a Running Back because of how fast he was

- you used to call him 'The Pony Express’ ;)

- he wouldn’t admit it but he liked the nickname in “certain” situations

-but anyway

-the game continues on for some time and your voice is already feeling strained from all the shouting

- everyone on the home team cheered and went crazy when Spot rushed through the defense and sprinted down the field, leaving the other team in the dust

- You held onto Jack as you jumped up and down with joy


-Spot didn’t know exactly where you were in the stands but he pointed over to your general direction while he placed his other hand on his heart

-you could practically hear his voice “that was all for you doll”

- whenever Spot took a nasty tackle you tensed up and wouldn’t say anything until Spot got up and brushed it off, making you sigh in relief

-you almost wanted to run onto the field and soak the two guys on the other team who tackled the hell out of Spot but you knew that it was only part of the game and it wasn’t personal

- You didn’t realize how pissed you were until Crutchie pointed out how your knuckles were turning white from gripping the railing

- Brooklyn High was losing but not by much

- when it reached halftime you could see Spot rush off the field and went straight to the student section to try and find your face

- You called out his name over the sea of noise and his head turned over to your voice and jogged over to you

-“ Baby you’re killing it out there!” You shrieked as you leaned over the railing and Spot stood on his tippy toes to kiss you back

- “ Yeah well the other team is destroying us” Spot pouted slightly until he spotted the rest of the Manhattan boys waving at him

- “Lookin good Conlon!”

- “I bet money on this game, don’t let me down!”

-“ Tell number 26 to get his shit together!”

- Spot gave a small laugh but immediately felt a wave of comfort, knowing that his friends came to come and support him

- You told Spot to head back to the locker room since you could feel the burning glare from his coach

- Spot backed up and blew a kiss to you before rushing over to the locker room

-*Halftime performance bonus*

- Elmer, Specs and Crutchie danced along to the performance from the Dance Team and you point out how Race would make a good cheerleader

-he rolls his eyes but everyone knows he would totally sign up for tryouts which are next week

- as the band starts to play, Davey rambles on about how:

-“ Orchestra never gets any recognition! It’s always about band this….band that! Why can’t orchestra play during halftime!”

- After he complains you catch him moving his head to the rhythm of  seven nation army played by the other team’s band

- Kathrine almost gets into a fight at the snack bar because some guy was being a total jerk to Sarah and Jack had to drag Kathrine away before she got kicked out of the stadium

-*Halftime over*

-skipping even more ahead to the 4th quarter

- and the score is so close, it could be anyone’s game

- The crowd groans when number 26 yet again screws up and you let out a “thank god” when he gets benched

- your number 18, on the other hand, weaves through the defense with such grace and throws with such accuracy that you are sure that the scouts for college are looking at him

- With seconds on the clock and the score so close, everyone knows that this is the last chance to win the game

- the Quarterback gives the ball to Spot and he runs through defense, everyone in the stands are cheering him to keep going

- “Let’s go Brooklyn!”

-“ You got this Conlon!”

- “ Run Spot Run!”

- When Spot makes it to the end zone without a scrape, the whole crowd goes

 N U T S

- You were overjoyed and Jack had to hold onto you so you wouldn’t fall over

- As the band started playing the “victory tune” you went to the gate and raced onto the field where you saw Spot running towards you

-he took off his helmet and threw it to the ground before you jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist, kissing him

- you could hear the other Manhattan boys wooing and teasing from the stands but all you were focused on was Spot

- “ I’m so proud of you Spot, how are you feeling?”

-  Spot’s hair was stuck to his forehead and while he smelled like wet grass,  he wore the biggest grin on his face

- Spot kisses you roughly again and wraps his hand around your waist

- “ Victory tastes amazing doll”

anonymous asked:

So did either of you acknowledge that you gave her another origami flower? I'm dying at all this cuteness

fkadlfjad;lfkj ok here’s the rest of the story

so. i left the thing on her laptop and then i ran away went to eat lunch, so i didn’t get a chance to stick around and see how she reacted when she first saw it. but then later on my supervisor stopped me and was like “wow i saw the thing!!!” bc apparently flower girl was showing the thing to other people and telling them i made it for her (even though i didn’t like… leave a note or talk to her or anything, she knew)

and then she finished for the day and was doing some grocery shopping before she went home. i was bagging at the time so i was like “oh i hope she comes through my line this is good i can smile at her but i don’t really have to make a lot of conversation bc she’ll probably be talking to the cashier mostly,” but guess what!!!! as fate would have it, right before she was about to check out it was getting kind of busy so i was told to go open another register, and just as i was getting set up she was literally right in front of my aisle with her basket and was like heeeeyyy!!!

so obvs she came through my line, and immediately she was so excited about the thing i made her and she was talking about how my sup wanted one but then “i told her she’d have to advocate for herself & ask you to make her her own because i’m sure as hell not giving up mine!!” (i KNOW!!!!) and she actually had it in her hand and was taking it home with her. and then we just talked about food and stuff (lmao i work in a grocery store, all we ever talk about is food) and anyways i was Normal and not awkward and we smiled at each other a lot and there was a lot of eye contact and it was nice.

and i think—i THINK—she knows that i like her, like she MUST right??? i am the least subtle person when it comes to gay thirst, it’s a problem. i mean i guess all of this could sort of be construed as platonic… just like… a gal… making paper roses for a pal…… but idk there was a lot of eye contact going on as i was checking her out (heh) & i’m really maybe trying to Go For It (in like… an 8th grade flirting kind of way). plus my instagram is literally just portraits of fictional lesbians & i have rainbows coming out of my ass so she must at least know that i’m gay.

i mean the straight people i work with literally see the rainbow sticker on my water bottle and the rainbow pins on my backpack and my converses w the rainbow soles and still have NO CLUE and don’t realize i’m not straight (???? how???? i guess it just never occurs to them because?? heteronormativity??? they’re literally like “omg your shoes are cute i want to get a pair” and every time i want to be like nnNNO. these are not!! for!! you!!!). but anyways flower girl is def not straight and she also has rainbows coming out of her ass so i’m sure if i clocked her she must have clocked me right???

oh OH also back to storytime. my friend told me that apparently as i was going out to get carts (this was right after i came back from lunch so she already had the flower i made her but we hadn’t acknowledged it yet) flower girl looked up from her work (she’s very focused when she works it’s cute) and turned her head to watch me walk out the door so………… idk what that means. i mean i’m literally always watching her walk away, apparently it’s getting really obvious and people make fun of me for it all the time. but yeah she watched me walk away. SO. there’s that.

anyways we’re both working again tomorrow, she’s opening and i’m not scheduled until 11 but i think i might come in a few hours earlier and just set up shop with my laptop and try to make some progress on some artwork or something. i mean i definitely have to come in earlier anyways bc i still can’t drive myself and 11am is an inconvenient time for other people who don’t work random hours. but i might come in extra early like at 8 or something so i can just… sit at a table facing the flower booth and pretend to Do Stuff but actually just watch her work for 3 hours lmao i’m a MESS

just some cute au things about the girls

  • inej works at the coffee shop
  • nina works at sephora or something
  • they meet up to have lunch at the food court during their breaks and talk like they haven’t seen each other in years, although they do this everyday
  • nina especially just talks, talks, talks because she misses inej whenever she’s not near and she feels like so much happens since the last time they saw each other
    • not much does but shh
  • they don’t go to the same colleges so this keeps the material alive. nina goes to some cosmetology school or something idk bear with me
    • they gossip so hard. not in a mean way, they don’t make fun of people, they just animatedly discuss them behind their backs…
  • i mean inej hears everything she’s not exactly meant to because no one can hear her coming when she’s walking passed the stock room at work or down hallways at school and such
  • “i’m pretty sure erin and x broke up again” inej announces when nina is mid sentence about the reality show she watched last night
  • she gasps, “no!”
  • (they don’t even know who this x person is)
  • inej works with a girl named erin and she argues on the phone to someone between breaks, screaming out we’re done! every couple weeks but she never says a name so it drives inej and nina crazy
  • “but x was doing such a better job this time around. i mean, like, it’s been three whole weeks. i’m sensing a bit of development.”
  • “what if we’ve gotten it all wrong? what if they aren’t the problem, what if it’s just erin”
  • “plot twist”
  • “and yesterday julian totally got busted. apparently his mom thought he was living on campus all of this time, when really he has an apartment with his boyfriends”
  • nina chokes, “plural?”
  • “yup.”
  • “damn, get it, julian.”
  • and i feel like when they hang out with each other after work, nina brings inej makeup she probably wasn’t allowed to take out of the store
  • “this one is called black like my soul.” nina giggles, tossing the eye shadow at inej as soon as she stepped foot into nina’s apartment
  • “is this for me or kaz?“ 
  • “kaz in eye shadow. ha! that’s something i want to see”
  • inej laughs and shakes a bag at nina, “i came with gifts, too”
  • inej always brings nina little cakes from the coffeshop she works at. nina considers kissing her for it
  • they both relax on nina’s couch, one on either end, facing each other, legs tangled up. nina keeps dropping crumbs everywhere, but she doesn’t care
  • nina and matthias totally have a dog, conveniently named wolf, and he circles at the foot of the sofa hoping for cake, too
  • “sorry, wolf, pretty sure nina’s cleavage is catching it all”
  • nina likes to do inej’s hair and makeup because inej doesn’t particularly care about either of those things and nina could use some practice
  • but inej draws the line at colorful shades of lipstick
  • “dude, vibrant purple, are you kidding me? that’s not coming anywhere near my face”
  • “inej, don’t be difficult! you have such great lips and you’re wasting them on nude colors”
  • “i don’t even think that color would go with my skin tone”
  • “trust me, everything goes with your skin tone”
  • “nina…no.”
  • “nina…yes.” nina pouts until she can convince inej 
    • and damn nina for being right. inej looks in the mirror and realizes the color does look good on her
  • they take so many selfies. i feel like nina would be a selfie queen
  • and inej likes to take candid pictures of nina because she’s still beautiful even when she’s not prepared. inej posts these on instagram with deep captions and poems
  • they both love this. inej’s followers love this. everyone loves this.
  • one time they were making cakes together and had a flour fight
  • inej got so many shots of nina laughing, red dress covered in flour. even flour on her eyelashes. these photos went up with quotes reminding people to enjoy the little things and how important friendship was
  • nina calls her the night the photos went up. she’s in tears, “they’re just so freaking cute. i don’t know how you do it. i wish i could see me like you see me. i feel like the world is so much more meaningful in your eyes.” she sobs
  • then nina hiccups and inej catches on. she doesn’t know how she didn’t hear the thudding bass in the background before
  • then matthias’ voice fills the phone, “why are you in the bathroom? are you crying?”
  • nina slurs “i’m talking to my secret lover! go away, you - you…”
    • apparently she can’t think of an insult. she gives up and says to inej, “where was i? oh yeah, i love you. you’re the best. you know, if i could give you a strip of the moon, i would.”
  • matthias clears his throat, but then he realizes, “it’s inej, isn’t it?”
  • of course it is, matthias
  • inej just laughs. “hey, i love you, too, okay? have fun at the party. and drink lots of water!”
  • nina mumbles something inej can’t understand. inej makes her put matthias on the phone and reminds him to remind nina to drink water


  • somehow inej convinces kaz to wear the eyeshadow
  • he agrees only if she makes it go around his whole eye so he looks scary. i’m talking up to his eyebrows and then underneath his lower lashline. he thinks he’s channeling demon looks
  • he doesn’t look scary at all
  • but inej takes photos and sends them to nina who replies with the skull emoji because she has officially died of laughter
    • nina will never let kaz live this down

this is so lowkey gay and completely self indulgent. and it’s probably a mess but i wanted to post it. how did i even format this?? anyway, it was in my drafts. i wrote it at 4am lmao

anonymous asked:

Girl!! So just now while I was watching Monsta X's V live, Wonho (I think) was talking and one of the members started singing in the background, "I'm in love with the..." 🍫 Idk who said it, but now I'm too excited for their tour in the US 😆

Do theses boys even know what that song REALLY means? xD


- Bobby x reader

- Angst (ish) + happy ending.

- Your friendship with Bobby got too complicated for comfort. You decided to end thing because you can’t handle the stress and confusion any longer.


Originally posted by verygood-climax

- “I’ll see you in a bit. I just got out of practice, gonna head home and shower first. Unless you prefer my au naturale scent.”

- “Gross, can you please shower… I shared a tent with you at camp. I wanted to die.”

Being Bobby’s best friend pretty much mean your apartment is his. Whether it be getting away from the boys, wanting to sleep alone, quiet space for working, or just chilling. Having him over so often wasn’t anything strange anymore. After more than once finding him sitting outside your doors waiting for you to get home from work, you just gave him a key.

- “If you fucking bring girls here, i will end you. Just remember, I know all your dirty secrets.”

- “You act like i’m a diary or something. Do I look like that kind of person to you? smh…”

- “Hey i see you be flirting with girls. desperate time calls for desperate measure. Hanbin would probably kill you if you bang some random girl in your dorm.”

- “Yes, mom. I won’t bring girls over.”

You didn’t start out having a crush on him, not even remote interest. However, as he spend more and more time with you, something changed. His action slowly becoming more sweet and meaningful. Whether it’s just him reminding you to eat, or giving you his jacket during cold days. Slowly his care tug at your heartstring and crushing turn into love. You’ve managed to hidden it well thus far. The frustrating part is you don’t even know if you’re special or this is how he’s usually is with girls. Other than the boys, he never brings you around any of his other friends. He does talks about girls but you never had the pleasure of meeting any of them. There were times where he brought you to parties but he stay by your side the whole time. Being possessive or protective is just something in his nature. He doesn’t let you out of his sight for one second, no guys can come within arm length of you. At this point however, you’d rather not risk a great friendship. Usually you’d come home and find him already lounging around your house. Today was one of those rare day you’re actually home before he comes over. You had some time to spare so you cooked up a meal knowing he’d be starving after practice.

- “Honey, I’m homeeee!!!”

- “STFU will you. How many time did i tell you to stop calling me honey.” you call out from the bedroom.

- “Fine! Did you cook babe? it smells so good.” he walks in the bedroom and jump on your bed.

- “Bobbyyyy NO. stop giving me pet names. if you want your dinner to be safe, stop this instance.”

He has a really bad habit of calling you names that make you dream he was serious about you. He chases you into the kitchen to try and save his meal. You just laugh and follow the crazy boy. After eating pretty much 85% of all the food and chatting your ears off, he slumps onto the couch to watch TV. He insisted on helping you clean up but seeing how tired he was, you shooed him off. 

- “I have that new movie  you wanted to watch. Are you planning on staying over?”

- “OMG YESH. You’re the best. If you don’t mind, can I? I just spent 18 hours with Hanbin. constant yelling for 18 hours. 18!!! if i see him for another minute i’ll have nightmare.”

- “Haha, you know he means well. Couch or bed?”

Of course he’d choose the bed. He’s a little too comfortable in your home that it seems like it’s really his apartment and you’re the guest. At first he’d offer to sleep on the couch or the floor. Following one particularly hard day at practice, he hurt his back and was dying in pain. You felt so bad and told him to come sleep on the bed. He refused at first but eventually gave in. Ever since then, he doesn’t even ask to share the bed anymore. Even with the close proximity, nothing ever happen except for innocent sleep. There was an actual barrier make out of pillows and blanket between the  two of you, always. After putting in the movie, he situates himself flat on his belly, head sideway facing toward the TV.

- “Massage pleaseeeee.” he whines loudly.

- “Are you serious? you take over my apartment, then i have to cook for you, and then clean up. Now you want massage. WTF?”

- “Pretty please, my whole back ache. I told you, i’ve been practicing for like 3 days straight. Please.”

- “Ugh, fine”

Hopping onto his back, legs straddling his sides, you begin to work your magic on him. His broad shoulders relax as his whole body melts onto the bed. Hands running over his smooth skin, fingers grace over the dimples on his shoulders’ muscles, a bit of sadness comes over you. You realize some day this would end time come when either one of you get a love interest. It’s all fun and game to you two but outsider might not fondly share the same view. This day might actually come sooner than you’d wanted. You had decided to give up on loving Bobby.

- “Omg, you should do this professionally. You’re so good babe.”

- “What did i tell you about calling me that?” 

You dig your elbow onto his back causing him to yelp out a loud apology.

- “Jeez, you’re so mean. I’m just playing.”

He lays back down and resumes his focus on the movie. You hesitantly speak up.

- “Can I tell you something?”

- “Uhmm.”

- “I actually agree to go grab a drink with Jason tonight…”

Still focusing on the movie, it almost feels like he’s ignoring. All of the sudden, he pushes your legs and gesture for you to get off. Thinking he’s mad, you scoot away to give him some room. Before you got too far away though, his arm wraps around your waist and pull you to lay down with him. Relaxing yourself into being his little spoon, you shed a tear knowing this feeling will cease to exist soon. Just like that most of the movie passed with him holding you tight. When there was 30 minutes left to the movie and the clock ticks 9:30, you whisper to him.

- “Hey, I have to get ready to go meet Jason…” you words cut off by a loud sigh.

- “Do you have to leave so soon?” His arms still tight around you.

- “What’s wrong? you’re never this clingy. Did something happen between you and the boys? or at home? Is your family okay?”

- “It’s nothing… i don’t know.”

You get a bad vibe from his behaviors and keep pressing for answer. Could he have heard a gossip about your potential new boyfriend? You did meet the guy through him.

- “No, Jason is a good guy. He’s actually would be a good fit for you…There’s nothing wrong with him.”

- “Then how come i’m getting the feeling that you don’t want me to go. If you don’t want me to go, i won’t go. It’s just a date, i’m not marrying the guy.”

- “Go, have fun on your date. I’ll probably head back to the dorm later…”

You’re now super uneasy at his words and action. He’s telling you to leave but his body is telling you to stay. You pull out of his arm and sit up to look at him.

- “Jiwon… you know i can tell if you’re lying right? what’s wrong?”

- “Nothing… just go”

Did you hear it wrong? Was the TV too loud? His words sounded like they were resisting on coming out of his throat as he chokes them up.

- “Jiwon… come on. Tell me.” You try your best to meet his gaze but he just shift it else where. “Fine, if you won’t say it to my face then just whisper it in my ear.”

You get back into being his tiny spoon and force him to wrap his arms around you once more. 

- “I… I just really don’t want you to go…” 

- “Why?”

- “I can’t do this… uh, shit… I, never mind.”

- “You know what? I can’t do this either… I’m leaving. Stay or go, whatever is fine with me.”

You were wiggling out of his hold when he grabs onto you super tight. One arm wraps around your chest, hand holding your shoulder. The other one snakes around your stomach. He presses his body as close to you as humanly possible and snuggle his face into your hair. 

- “I don’t want this to end, us to end.”

- “And what is this exactly? What is ‘us’?”

He practically struck you in the gut by saying that. For months now, for you it wasn’t as simple as best friends hanging out. You guys were practically in a relationship with none of the romance or obligation. You had a crush on Bobby, sure but it wasn’t anything serious. Lately, it’s getting harder for you to differentiate love from friendship.

- “…” Silence fell out of his mouth.

- “You don’t even know what this is, do you?” You were gradually getting frustrated. “Sometimes I wonder why you spend so much time here. You’re not a lonely guy. There’re tons of girls, and guys, that would kill to spend time with you but here you are. Day in, day out, wasting your time in this small average apartment with a completely average girl.”

- “IDK, you’re my best friend outside of the industry. I just want to spend time with you…What’s wrong with that? And you’re not average, stop thinking about yourself like that. Even if you were, what’s wrong with being average. I like you the way you are.”

- “Yes, i know we’re close but you literally spend all your free time here. Your phone blows up every time I see you. Sometimes I just sit and watch you make up bullshit excuses not to hang out with your other friends. I mean you literally was just sitting on my couch, not doing shit. So i really don’t know what this ‘us’ is that you’re referring to. What am I to you? a sister? substitute mom? shelter? What, Bobby.”

- “I.. I don’t know…” he stammers.

That only increases your frustration. All this confusion has to stop. When you’re with him, he has never made a move. The moment you want to see someone else he throws you in for a loop and got jealous? This is too much for your heart to handle so you decided to take your chance. What’s the worse that can happen? If things go south, at least you’ll have peace and can finally move on.

“To me, you’re the greatest person in this world. I had a strings of bad relationships, both romantic and platonic. I was betrayed, cheated on, stabbed in the back. For the longest i thought i was treated badly because i deserve it or that was the best i was gonna get. But you, you changed everything. You showed me how a proper relationship should be and made me better. You’re literally the ultimate best friend.  You showed me kindness. You picked me up when i was left wounded by my ex.You showed me a way out. That’s why I will walk through hell for you if you need me to. That’s why i’m your best friend. But fuck, lately it’s been so compilcated. You’re TOO kind to me that it make me soo confuse. You’d draw me into this whirlwind fantasy of thinking i might have a chance with you. You don’t even know how many time I got soo close to confessing to you but then… Then just when I was about to, you gushed hours on end about some girl that wouldn’t give you the time of day, WHILE laying in bed with me. I know these sleepover are purely because you need time away from your hectic life… But shit, it’s so vexing because right after you say craps like “don’t ever date or get marry because i need you”, you go and say friendzone shit to me. I can’t get mad Bobby… I can’t even get jealous when girls that are 10x prettier and more successful than me flirt with you. What right do i have to do that? I’m nothing when it comes to Bobby’s realm of love. That’s why i have to do this, i have to go on this date. I have to end this crazy confusing relationship of ‘us’… whatever ‘us’ is. I can’t keep getting string along like some doll. I don’t want to feel like some left over when you finally move on. I know it’s not your fault, it’s mine for falling for you. But i have to make things clear once and for all. Either you hold up your end of the friendzone bargain or just don’t see me anymore. At the end of the day, I’m nothing more than a comfort net for you and it breaks my heart. So, for the sake of my sanity and my heart… From this day on, i will stop loving you, Kim Jiwon.”

After a few minutes of quietness, you were sure it was done between you and him. His hold still tight, you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable but there was no way of getting out. Just then, he starts to speak.

- “Please don’t do that… I don’t want you to see him or anyone else. I want you to myself, no other guys in this world can have you. You’re mine and i want to have the right to be selfish when it come to you. You’re wrong. You’re my everything and i prayed so hard that you’d look at me the same way. I can’t stand when you hang out with other guys, guys that would do anything to have you.Guys that can spend everyday with you instead of once in awhile because of some crazy schedule. I can’t help it but stand on the sideline and watch because you seemed so happy. I know I can’t give you all my time so I’d have to let someone else do that. I can’t even tell you how much i love you because i’m scare of losing you altogether. These past couple of months, i’ve been so happy that even the boys noticed. They kept asking me if i have a girlfriend and i love that you’re my secret. I wasn’t trying to string you along, i’m so sorry it came off that way. I was scare if you reject me, i’ll never be able to be in your life like this anymore. You always chase my loneliness away with your laughter and your warmth. One smile and i lose all my strength. I spent nights just watching you sleep, wishing you’d turn around and crawl into my arms. Now and then, I let my heart pretends like you’re my girlfriend… it hurt because you’re mine, but you’re not exclusively mine. I fear the day when you meet someone else and i’d have to let you go. Whenever I’m going to you and someone ask, I want so bad to tell them i’m going home to my girl. I wish i have the courage to tell you that sooner but it’s all too late now… You’re my perfect girl and i lost you because i waited too long.”

At his sweet, shy words, you roll back to face him. He has a painful expression on his face with a few tears stuck in his long eyelashes. Wiping the tears off him, you smile satisfyingly. 

- “I won’t go if you tell me not to… I only want to date so I can forget about you. I’ve been hiding my feeling for so long that I thought the only way to escape them was to let you go. I guess we both just fear rejection.” 

- “I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay home with me. If only I was more of a man and just come out with my feeling. I guess i’m not that good at hiding it… I’m really sorry for hurting you. It’s just you didn’t even show the slightest sign that you see me as more so I was scared” Hand move to stroke your cheeks softly.

- “It’s okay. You’re my man. Everything is just the way it should now… I love you, baby.” you reluctantly whisper, shy still from his confession.

- “I love you more.” he moves closer and places a kiss on your forehead, hands cupping your face.  “As your boyfriend, i forbid you to go on this nonsensical date. You are to stay home and let me hug you. Also, i thought you were allergic to pet name. what happened? ”

You laugh at his sudden boyfriend mode. You always knew he has a cute side but he rarely shows it. All this is so refreshing. 

- “You’re an idiot. I didn’t say i don’t like it, I just wanted you to stop calling me by those names. When you call me those things i wish i was more and it hurt that i couldn’t be. So i just yell at you when you do”

- “You are more, sooo much more. Well you’re gonna have to let me call you by whatever name I want now. Although, I think I like being call ‘baby’ more than ‘idiot’.”

- “Baby” you coo at him, cutting off his laugh.

- “hmm?”

- “I want to kiss you.”

He flashes the biggest smile you’ve ever seen before pulling your chin up and let his lips meet yours. You pull away and smile back at him. His long index reaches over and brushes a few hair strand away from your face.

- “What do you say you call Jason to cancel and we go out to celebrate?”

- “Can we just stay in? I don’t wanna leave your arm.” you whine and he place a haste kiss on your nose.

- “Okay. We’ll stay in for as long as you want if you promise to get rid of the sleep barrier. i don’t need to be cock block from my own girlfriend by a bunch of pillows. I mean, seriously. I couldn’t even “accidentally” cuddle you. I’d know, i tried, it doesn’t work. I hate those pillows so much. You always hug them too, i don’t like that either.”

- “Yes and yes. You’re so cute. I promise i will hug you more than the pillow.”

You giggle at his silliness before digging your face into his chest and letting yourself fall into his scent. He closes his eyes and let the feeling of you against him sinks in. Maybe it isn’t so bad to face your fear once in awhile.