idk this is not my best but i really needed something to contain my feels

Flip a Coin

Summary: In which Dan and Phil go to a christian boarding school, have no idea how sex works, and decide to give it a try anyway. [can you tell i like writing embarrassing + nervous first times?]

Word Count: 3.7k

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Team Voltron themed drinks!

In light of season 3 releasing soon and planning a viewing party with some of my friends, I recently started thinking about making themed drinks after certain characters and what-not (seeing as I’m the designated bartender of my friend group lol). There’s obviously TONS of different drinks you can make to fit a character, but I took a bit of liberty to fantasize what drinks I’d love to make (had I the time and money); these aren’t arbitrary choices either. I primarily chose drinks that I thought reflected certain character aspects, so I’ve included a small analysis along with each drink choice.

note: for practical reasons (like if ppl actually wanted to make themed drinks) I’ve included both a simplified mixed drink alternative (which, let’s be real, that’s what I’m actually making) AND a non-alcoholic alternative (which are super basic im sorry but it’s the best i could do)

Let’s get mixing!


Shiro – “Boulevardier”

This is one of the few drinks I chose based more on personality than appearance. Most purple cocktails just didn’t quite ring true for Shiro’s full-bodied character, so I went with my gut feeling and started browsing some bourbon based drinks. After going through a few classic recipes, I settled on a Boulevardier. What it contains:

  • 1.5 oz Bourbon
  • ¾ oz Sweet vermouth
  • ¾ oz Campari
  • Orange or cherry as a garnish
  • Served over ice optional

Shiro, as a character, radiates a sense of maturity and warmth. He is kind and caring, but knows when to take charge of his team and push harder. The subtle sweet undertones in bourbon and the warmth of dark liquor, I feel, reflect these aspects of his character very well. Sweet vermouth, like bourbon, has those husky, herbal undertones; it’s basically a wine spiked with brandy and slightly sweetened. Campari is a liqueur made from infused herbs and fruit, a sweet and spicy flavor. This is, in essence, a darker drink, and one that is probably an acquired taste; aka, this is not a beginner or casual drink. It’s a drink I think is well suited to our beloved enigmatic leader, the Head of Voltron, pilot of the Black Lion. It has warmth and depth, a complexity of flavors that matches Shiro’s nuances in character.

Practical party alternative: any type of whiskey and coke (though I still recommend bourbon, it tastes better imo); you can also do a spiced rum and coke if you’re not a whiskey person.

Non-alcoholic alternative: honestly? cherry coke or like…diet coke with lime strike me as very Shiro for some reason lol.

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Bruised and Battered: Epilogue

Dean Winchester x Reader

950 Words

Story Summary:

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

A/N: I had first expected this story to be a one shot, but it was meant to be much longer than that. Thank you to everyone who read, liked and commented on this story, I really appreciate it. 

6 months later

Laying against the headboard of the hotel bed, you sighed in contentment. Tossing the empty pie container on the night stand, you smiled over at Dean who had blueberry filling on his face.  “That was probably the best blueberry pie I’ve ever had.” He muttered, rubbing his stomach.

“Isn’t that what you said about the last one?” You chuckled, and he just shrugged his shoulders at you.

“What can I say? I love me some pie, and these last two stops have been amazing.” He answered, before groaning.

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Sleepless Nights (Jonerys)

Here’s a oneshot for no reason at all. 

Jon bonds with his newborn daughter when she wakes him up in the middle of the night. Shameless fluff. 

I don’t really know where this came from but I just needed something short and fluffy at the moment. 

Send me prompts-I’m working on longer fics for NTD obviously, but if there’s ever short things I can write feel free to let me know especially throughout the season because I am shipping and writing trash at the moment. 

Enjoy! 

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A Little Help [teddy lupin x reader]

Requested by anon:  Do you think you would be able to write a fully one shot about Teddy? I know there isn’t a lot known about him but still! Maybe the reader is thinks he’s with victorie so she’s holding back and being shy and he gets nervous when they talk (I just imagine his hair turning different colours depending on his mood and making it so very obvious!) and then just fluff of them being together :)

A/n: A really cute idea, thank you! I think he might be the perfect mixture of Tonks and Lupin, so I gave it a go. (Also I looked for a fitting GIF and found that Bradley James looks like a Ted to me, idk.) GIF is not mine.

  • Warnings: fluffy fluff
  • Word count: 1200

Edward Remus Lupin. There he was. Standing in front of you in the courtyard, looking as good as ever, though he seemed not to realize this himself. 
The breathtaking blend of quirky and confident, nerdy and daring, calm and hyper, humble and provoking, has you swept off your feet ever since.

He has been swarmed by girls as soon as it was announced that he would be this years Head Boy, but you have kept an eye on him years before.
There was just one thing that held you back: Victoire.
You didn’t hate her. It probably wasn’t even possible to dislike someone who was one-eighth Veela, but you were jealous of her, for hanging around with Ted most of the time.

“… (Y/N)?” Your name coming from his mouth disrupted the thoughts you wandered through, while looking into his eyes for too long.

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lavender & rosemary "i'm sick of being sweaty" bath!

idk about anyone else, but i’m entering into my annual summertime funk. the newness of warm weather has worn off and it’s miserably hot here in the southern united states and i feel very smelly and uncomfortable most of the time. to remedy this, at least for today, i decided to take a cleansing and calming bath, good for both mind and body, and i thought i’d share it with you all!

what you’ll need:
- packet of powdered milk
- plain epsom salt
- lavender essential oil
- rosemary essential oil
- candles or crystals (optional)

how you do it:
1. get your hot bath running! not scalding, but you want the temperature up there so that the salt will dissolve easily.
2. in a jar, mix one to one and a half cups of epsom salt and the packet of powdered milk. you don’t have to do this in a jar - sometimes i mix it all in the packet the milk comes in because i’m lazy and don’t want to clean a container afterwards.
3. into your salt and milk mixture, add the lavender and rosemary oils. the number of drops will depend on how fragrant you want your bath. i do about 15 drops of lavender and eight-ish of rosemary. i like to use less rosemary because i find the aroma of it to be stronger than lavender and we don’t want our sweet calming friend overpowered. adding the essential oils into the milk/salt mixture is important because that allows them to really get into the bath instead of floating on top of the water not doing a whole lot for you.
4. dump your mixture into that bath water! this would be the time to set up any candles or crystals or whatever helps you to wind down and feel the best, and also to say a little blessing over the mixture if you want added witchy oomph. today, i chose to stare at it and think, “i feel like shit this afternoon, please help me to feel relaxed and clean and peaceful” before pouring it under the running water.
5. step into the bath and use your tootsies to mix the powder and salt around. a big lump of epsom salt sitting over your drain is not what we want.
6. sit or lie down in the bath and let those good ingredients do their work! i like to lie down and let my ears go under the water - the sound of my heartbeat slowing is very calming to me. read a book! watch a video on your phone! scroll through tumblr! meditate! do whatever it is that will help you really get into that relaxed mood.
7. when the water has cooled or you’re just over it, pull the plug on the drain and sit in the tub until the water has fully gone, thinking of all your stress and icky sweaty funkiness going down that drain, away from your now moisturized and fragrant body.
8. when you get out, dry yourself with a new towel - not the one you’ve been using the past three showers. put on something comfy that makes you feel cute and bask in the feeling of calm.

that’s it! i hope this helps you as much as it helps me. you can use the milk + salt base for any combination of essential oils for a different vibe for your bath. this is a good bath to do on a lazy day or right before bed, because you’ll be in a very relaxed kind of mood after this one. i apologize for a lack of photos - i’m on mobile!

Bump In The Road

Before my old account got deleted, I used to follow @geminioriginalsimagines, and honestly I just love her blog so much, and she likes Chris Wood as much as I do, so I wrote this for her. You guys should follow her and read her imagines, they’re amazing x btw, I just love writing angst so much ugh idk why


The moment you felt sick after eating your favorite yogurt, you knew something was up. You checked the expiration date on the yogurt and the berries you added into it, both were fine.

You sat on the toilet, anxiously waiting fro the results from the home pregnancy test. You nearly died from happiness when all 5 of the test came back positive.

You were so excited! After countless of tries, and dozens of doctors saying you couldn’t have a baby, you and Jake were finally gonna get the little family you both wanted. 

You’d spent the day dancing by yourself and eating tons of chocolate. You decided you were going to tell Jake during dinner. You made baby back ribs, baby corn on the cob and put red wine into tiny wine glasses. It was perfect.

When the table was set, kitchen was cleaned and lights were dimmed, you took a shower and slipped on the little white sun dress Jake adored so much. 

You heard the door slam shut, indicating that Jake was finally home from work. You padded your way through the house and smiled when you saw your handsome boyfriend hanging his bullet proof vest on the coat rack. “Hi baby!” You smiled brightly, throwing your arms around Jake’s broad shoulders.

“Hi.” He grumbled, not returning your hug. You ignored his strange behavior, assuming it must’ve been the result of a stressful day at work. 

“I have some news.” You grinned, leading him to the table.

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded your head, biting your lip as you took a seat. Jake glanced at the table, raising an eyebrow. “I have news too.” He sighed heavily.

“So..” You both said, glancing at each other. 

“You first.I’ll save the best for last.” You grinned.

“Are you sure?” Jake looked guilty. You simply nodded, smiling so big that your cheeks began to ache.

“Look. I…um… I’ve been really stressed and  overwhelmed lately, from my job, and our relationship. I just… I need a break, Y/N. It’s not you. It’s me.” Jake said, avoiding your eyes. 

“Oh.” You breathed, your eyes tearing up. “Okay. That’s okay.  Take your time, I and I’ll get my things tomorrow morning.” You said, standing from the table. 

“Y/N I-”

“No. It’s fine Jake, it’s okay.” You offered a sad smile, turning to leave. 

“Y/N! Wait!” He called, but you ignored his pleas. 

Jake sighed and ran his fingers through his already messy hair. He looked down, thinking about all the hard work you must’ve put into this dinner. His eyes scanned the tabled, feeling more guilty with each second that went by.

Only then did Jake Riley see the tiny white stick with a pink plus sign in the middle.

Puppy Love

Kakashi Week 2017 - Prompt: “I hate to do this, but please call me Hokage-sama this time”

Not feeling this one 100%, but I think it’s the best it’s going to get. Is Kakashi slightly OOC? Idk, I haven’t seen him as Hokage yet  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Rating: General
Words: 2.416
Read on ao3 

Kakashi could barely contain the gasp of surprise when his eyes landed on the tiny puppy walking through the crowds towards one of the food stands. Iruka’s words fell on deaf ears as Kakashi gawked at the tiny animal, its paws padding along the dirt road, its little ears flopping around as it bounded eagerly to keep at the heels of its owner. Not even Naruto’s extremely loud voice in his ear was able to draw his attention away. As soon as the pup was swallowed up in the legs of the crowd, Kakashi turned to Iruka, his eyes wide and serious.

“I need you to do something for me.”

“What? I - Kakashi! I’m in the middle of going over some really important things that you need to —”

“Do you see where we are?” Kakashi cut in, motioning towards the open street lined with booths. “You showed up in my office to talk to me, and I left my office and you followed. And you brought Naruto with you. If I’m not in my office, then I don’t have to listen to anything work-related.”

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My Kuroshitsuji Theory; What Happens Next?

*THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA AFTER CHAPTER 127*


Okay, so. I’ve supported the twin theory for a long time now, so I wasn’t extremely surprised by the events of the recent chapter. However, I didn’t expect Real!Ciel to be alive. But the thing is, I still don’t think he is really ‘alive’. Let me explain:

• Our!Ciel has shown us flashbacks of him seeing Real!Ciel being stabbed to death when they were kidnapped. That’s why Our!Ciel summoned Sebastian. Therefor I’m pretty sure Real!Ciel was dead. Sebastian also burned down the mansion, I’m not sure how someone that is bleeding to death/has been stabbed can crawl out of a burning mansion alive.

• I think Undertaker resurrected the real Ciel. In The Book of The Atlantic he shows his intentions of resurrecting the dead. I think his best succes so far is Real!Ciel. I’m not sure how he made Real!Ciel different and better than the previous zombies, but he succeeded. There is still a flaw, however.

• Real!Ciel isn’t actually ‘alive’ and therefor he needs blood. So, he is the 'Blue Star’.

• Lizzy has found out about Real!Ciel. In chapter 129 we see Paula clearly upset, but she still says it is the place Lizzy 'belongs’. Lizzy was supposed to marry Real!Ciel. She found out and took his side.

• It also isn’t that crazy to think that Undertaker is involved, we haven’t really seen him a lot recently, apart from the scene where Ciel is in Germany and temporarily goes a little crazy. And even that wasn’t much. It’s also known that Undertaker was close to the Phantomhive family (eg. His locket holding strands of Claudia Phantomhive’s hair, him crying over Vincent’s death). It wouldn’t be crazy if he started by reviving Real!Ciel.

• I think Agni got killed by Real!Ciel. Now this one is pretty obvious, but maybe, refering back to what I said about Undertaker, it is part of Undertaker’s plan. And that is a reason why he revived Real!Ciel before reviving Vincent or even Claudia. I don’t think Real!Ciel killed Agni alone, though. My sister pointed out that he died of stab wounds (which we brutally saw), but the Real!Ciel (judging by the clothes and the small hand) had a gun in his hand, which he used to shoot Soma in the hand. (Then again, he could’ve been equipped by a knife also, but like he is a little kid. And if he also is a zombie, Agni definitely would’ve been able to beat his little ass.

Idk. Tbh, it is all a mess and I saw it coming but it still hit me hard. Feel free to add things or tell me your opinion. I’m seriously so curious about what happens next and I give Yana Toboso big credit for doing something so big. So yeah, this was my little theory.

the secret- jungkook part 03

TITLE: the secret | 03

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader

GENRE: college, romance, smutish, angst

WORDS: 2300

WARNINGS: drinking, cussing, smut

SUMMARY: riddled with international fame, Jeon Jungkook befriends an American college exchange student. she only later finds out that he is an international idol.

part: 01 | 02 | 03

a/n: WOOOOW I like this chapter, imma just come out and say it. Idk when this turned into a mystery but fuck thats where its heading. i tried to make it a lil longer cuz ppl were requesting that but i wanna take this story slow thats why im making these kinda short. lmao keeeeeep reading and tell me ur predictions n shit. i wanna know where u guys want this to go. 

message me requests and find more of my writings here

JUNGKOOK POV:

He looked around the party. So many people from so many different places all gathered around you. He felt alone. His friends and Y/N, whom he’d invited had gathered around for a game of spin the bottle which had quickly turned into a hookup fest. The entire group had dispersed with each a significant other on their arm, all except for him. It’s not that he didn’t have the opportunity, it’s that the person he wanted to be with was in his bathroom with Taehyung, drunk out of her mind. After a good 10 minutes of wallowing in his sorrows he decided to kick the rest of the stragglers out of the house and find her. He clanked up the stairs, almost passing the bathroom, until he heard the familiar low husky voice of Kim Taehyung. He took a couple steps toward the bathroom, took a deep breath and knocked forcefully on the door.

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You are Loved

I just want to note, Asexual is not the same thing as Aromantic, and Aromantic is different from Asexual. Aromantic is when you don’t experience romantic attraction (“oh I’m so lovey dovy about that person” although this doesn’t include desire to date or marry.)
Asexual is when you don’t experience sexual attraction (“gosh dang it I need your body specifically.” They can still want sex, they just don’t experience their body saying that about a person.) This fic doesn’t really reach into each sexuality (Except arguably Morality’s asexuality), but it does mention it.

(I’m aro ace so idk what attractions are like so correct me if I’m wrong please.) Someone can be both asexual and aromatic, but in this case, Logic is Aromantic and Morality is Asexual. Logan is aromantic, but he can still have sexual feelings towards someone. Morality is Asexual so he doesn’t experience sexual attraction, but he can still experience romantic attraction.

if you want someone to blame BLAME @stary-puppy @sanders-sideblog  @prinxietyhell @analogically-prinxiety​ and @doctorshufflepuff FOR THIS Terrible angst (And for being supportive through my writing process. I hope you all love me because you might not love me during the fic. (and don’t throw your device across the room please, I almost did.)

Also I wanted to show what abuse can look like. Most of these are not from my experience but I’ve seen some of this happen and I’ve heard stories of peoples experience so wanted to show how realistic it is. Girls are rarely shown as abusive so I wanted to show how terrifying it can be. If anyone is experiencing the things Morality experiences (no matter your or your abusers gender), especially from the beginning, please reach out and talk to someone in your local area. Even if they love you, it’s not okay. I know not everybody will listen to you, but please take care of yourself. You Are Loved even if you don’t feel like it.

trigger warning: this contains a lot of abuse. Mostly emotional abuse and physical but it implies sexual harassment in some parts. I will have a different fic coming up tonight (but way later on) with no abuse in it if this is triggering or too angst for you.

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listen nobody cares about my opinion about Tony, the airport fight and Spiderman Homecoming but I’ve just accidentally read a whole post that says the only folks who disagree with how Marvel handled the plot/how Tony was wrong are butthurt Steve fans looking for an excuse to hate Tony.

that is probably part of the demographic but I consider myself to be primarily annoyed by the shoddy writing in the MCU universe so uh:

+ we unfortunately have to accept that Marvel demanded they shoehorn in Spiderman despite the fact that he:

a. had nothing to do with the conflict.  he was in fact so far removed from the conflict that he had literally NO CONTEXT for what he was being recruited to do/why he was fighting Cap and the gang.

b. was in New York while everyone else was in Germany

c.  hadn’t really made a name for himself as an independent superhero

d. literally lived in the same city as several other older, equally cool superheros that apparently didn’t meet Tony’s specific needs at the time.  (Which is fair if we’re sticking by the ‘Spiderman can web them up!’ argument.)

+ fine I’ll accept this was a necessary tie-in to Homecoming because for whatever reason, Marvel didn’t think it could make a stand-alone Spiderman movie that would do well on its own without Tony Stark.  Ok.  Fine.  I’ll accept.

+ problem #1 is the movie where Tony is secretly recruiting the minor to fight in his fight involves the signing of a document that Peter is probably too young to fight but also involves the idea that all the Avengers/Superheroes are required to sign it or stay home.  Marvel/the movie wants you to believe that Tony believes in the Accords and that Steve has violated them and deserves to be brought to justice (one of those is true, the other isn’t) except I sincerely doubt that Tony went to Ross and was like: oh hey there’s this nameless 15 year old kid from Queens that wants to come help and like I feel like we should give him a free pass from signing legal documents because I just don’t want to explain to his legal guardian how he’s going to be involved in an altercation that involves Captain America, The Winter Soldier (a very lethal super soldier/assassin), Scarlett Witch (a weapon of mass destruction), Hawkeye (idk he shoots arrows or something) and Falcon (who is just so deeply loyal to Cap).  And maybe someone else the plot shoehorns in.  Look, Tony was all like: I need Spiderman because Marvel said I did.

+ I’m not saying they couldn’t have made this work.  I’m saying that, for Marvel, bright lights and choreographed fights are more important that making sure the plot works.

+ problem #2 is the fact that Tony cannot sincerely think he can talk sense into Cap.  Sure, ok.  He can hope that sense can be talked but he has fought alongside of and with (in arguments) Cap enough times to know that Cap isn’t going to be graceful about how he was wrong or care about pesky things like the laws of man.  Tony was actually present all through Age of Ultron where Steve’s entire WE FIGHT TOGETHER, oh my god girl, Tony Stark single handedly built a murder-bot and I cannot believe that he didn’t tell me about it oh my god girl, and my personal favorite: “Oh guys look, remember the chick that fucked up all our brains and sent Hulk into a catastrophic rage attack that destroyed a significant portion of a city carelessly endangering the lives of untold numbers of civilians and yeah ok I guess also voodoo’ed Tony’s head and then he built Ultron but that was his own fault.  Well I brought Wanda and her basically useless brother Pietro to help us!  Great idea right guys?  Right?  Excellent.  Good job Steve Rogers, always making the best calls.”  

I love Tony.  You asking me to believe he has any faith in Captain fucking America to do what it is everyone’s best interest when Tony, personally, has been on the outside of “everyone’s best interest” basically their entire relationship makes 0 sense to me.  Yes, Tony maybe went hoping it wouldn’t be a fight but he’s not stupid and he knows Cap.  He knew it would be a fight.

+ problem #3: is this idea of ‘webbing him up’ like cool.  So Tony Stark the man who can build literally anything, the greatest genius of our time, the dude that designs and builds countless iron man suits up to and including one that is elaborate and strong enough to defeat the Hulk couldn’t figure out a way to make a trap that could contain Steve Rogers?  He HAD to spend his time going to recruit a 15 year old boy because Peter’s web fluid is the only possible thing that would stop him?  

+ #3a TONY STARK THE DUDE THAT DESIGNS ALL THE AVENGERS SUITS AND UPGRADES THEIR WEAPONS AND THEREFORE KNOWS ALL THEIR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES couldn’t come up with something better than recruiting a fifteen year old boy to travel across an ocean (after lying to his legal guardian) to fight people who were 100% more combat trained than him.  I’m just saying this exact explanation is why Marvel’s writing pisses me off.

# problem #4: this one isn’t specific to Peter/Airport/Stark but does Marvel actually know there are other characters in their universe that aren’t Tony Stark?  Like maybe, just once, when they need someone to make a controversial decision or be antagonistic toward their Supremely Righteous Dreamsicle, they could call on, idk, I don’t know, maybe LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.  Please, please, explain to me why Tony and Steve never had a relationship that allowed them to talk rationally?  Please explain to me why Black Widow sided with Tony (other than it evened up the numbers).  Please explain to me why any of Civil War had to happen when all that it needed to stop the utter stupidity of the plot was one dude at a check in desk being like: “Um excuse me Mr. Zemo sir, I don’t think you’re the highly vetted and long standing psychological expert that we asked to show up?  You seem to be the leader of a Sokovian Death Squad that’s sort of been on our radar as a Bad Dude for a while and well I just can’t let you past the desk my dude.”

+ problem #5: no.  instead of letting Tony use his brain, letting Tony be effective at his job, letting Tony’s side of this conflict stand a fighting chance of not only genuinely winning but also just making sense they heap Choices Steven Wouldn’t Like on his shoulders: (signing the Accords, keeping Wanda confined, recruiting a 15 year old, trying to kill Bucky…) and they give him a cast of characters that are ‘on his side’ without ever actually, really agreeing with him.  (looking at you Black Widow, looking at you Black Panther.)  Oh and I genuinely loved the gauntlet scene and Tony going out to fight Bucky with nothing but a nice 3 piece suit by why?  why wouldn’t he have an iron man suit considering the circumstances?  or just in general?  WHY.

(+ because the plot said so, that’s why.)

+ in summation, my entire beef with Tony Stark bringing Peter to this fight was that it only makes sense from the point of view of the writers and the company that made the movies.  if you have to cite “well the folks that wrote the book and the publishers that were going to print it said we had to introduce a character so he could have his own novel” you will literally never convince me it’s a good choice.  It’s bad writing.  It’s a pretty fight and I like (this) Spiderman.  But it was a monumentally stupid thing to have done.  Not only did it take extra time to go and fetch Peter (personally) but it endangered a kid that had nothing to do with the conflict.  Removed of ‘but Marvel told them to’ and ‘superhero movies are always like that’ it’s just a stupid fucking choice.  But more importantly, it completely undercuts the things that make Tony great.  Which isn’t a surprise when Marvel’s been steady breaking down Tony’s character to a snarky asshole who can’t accomplish anything but creating problems since Iron Man 2.  

I get it Marvel.  I love Robert Downey Jr’s face too.  Its just I’d also like to see it when he isn’t suffering from a crippling depression brought on by the fact that he’s lost literally everything with any meaning in his entire life.  You know, you remember, Iron Man 1 when Tony was allowed to be a hero?  When he was respected by the plot and the people in it?  

Shaping Futures - Part I

a commission for @thatcrazylittlethingy

warning: contains discussion of mental illness (mainly schizophrenia and eating disorders) as well as past traumatic experiences with hospitalization


“Alright, I think that’s enough for today”, Dr. Smith said, voice soft but eyes awake. He closed his leather bound notebook with a quiet clap that made Marco blink. “It was a productive session, you should be proud of yourself, Mr. Bodt.”
Still caught up in the things they’d talked about for the last hour Marco nodded slowly, thoughts wafting through his head that he’d need a while to sort through and make sense of.
“I’m…”, he mumbled. It was still exhausting to find words sometimes but he had to stop getting frustrated with himself, he knew that. He had to be patient. It was just so hard.
“I’m not sure.”

Dr. Smith nodded and gave him the smallest of smiles, still managing to convey endless understanding.
“That’s why you’re here”, he said. “We’ll help you become sure again.”
“That’s … that’s good, that’s … I need that”, Marco forced out, halting a moment before preparing himself to rise from the comfy armchair and say his goodbyes but then he remembered something. His eyes flit through the room, unsure whether to talk about this now but his psychiatrist was looking at him like he knew they weren’t quite finished yet.
So Marco willed up some more courage.

“Do you maybe have another minute?”
Dr. Smith placed his notebook on the side table and leaned forward, one elbow on the armrest, hands folded in his lap.
“Of course.”
He didn’t ask what was wrong, didn’t press or insist on one quick question, not even when Marco took an embarrassingly long time to find the words and string them together, to work up the courage and ask what he wanted to.
When minutes passed and no pressure came, Dr. Smith waiting so very patiently, Marco let out a breath.

“About my … the pills.”
The doctors and nurses in the hospital hadn’t liked him asking about his medication. They’d only ever scolded him and made him take it anyway, even if he felt horrible afterwards.
Now he thought that maybe they’d known what they were doing and just wanted the best for him. But at the time he’d been scared and alone and angry and the way they’d handled his questions only ever made him feel worse.
Dr. Smith just nodded and kept looking at him, listening and paying attention. Marco felt his nervous heartbeat calm a little bit.

“I don’t … I feel strange. Everything’s … dull. And I get dizzy all the time and you said…” Marco took another deep breath. He’d also made bad memories trying to hold doctors to their word. “You said we could … reduce the dosage. Maybe.”
Dr. Smith nodded and let out a deep hum.
“I did say that. Let me check something.”
He got up and stepped over to the desk, a heavy thing of oak with several binders strewn across it. Picking up one of them Dr. Smith thumbed through it until he stopped on one page, smoothing it with steady fingers.

“Here. They gave you Haldol in the hospital, right?”
Marco gave a non-commital hum, not sure whether the doctor was talking to him or if the question was rhetoric until he met the patient gaze of blue eyes waiting for an answer.
“Yes”, he croaked, fingers twitching in his lap.
“And now we have you on Thorazine, ten milligrams, four times a day. Have you been taking your medication regularly?”
Marco nodded after another moment of silence.
Dr. Smith made a satisfied noise before stepping over to his armchair again, settling down with the closed binder in his hands.

“You see, Mr. Bodt, the reason why we’re still medicating you is because we don’t want you to relapse. We’ve only been treating you for a few weeks and while I’m confident you’ll recover quickly, we can’t risk reducing the dosage yet. At this point it might still be possible for you to develop another psychosis.”
“I don’t want that”, Marco forced out. No matter how weird the side effects of the drugs made him feel, he’d take those over ominous voices and delusions any day.
“Neither do we”, Dr. Smith agreed with a solemn nod. “But as we’re making progress with your therapy we will be able to reduce the dosage to a level that feels more comfortable to you while still protecting you from relapsing. You have my word.”

There was a pause while Marco considered the words, looking at his psychiatrist who was calmly looking back at him.
“Thank you”, Marco said at last and Dr. Smith gave him another smile. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be taken seriously.
“Of course. Should you have any other questions please don’t hesitate to ask me. I’m here to help you.” Those words alone were enough to make a knot that he hadn’t even been aware of before burst open in Marco’s belly. It made breathing a little less painful.
“Now”, Dr. Smith continued, his eyes gliding down to Marco’s hands. “Have you noticed you’re scratching your arm again?”



Part II

[This work was a commission! If you enjoyed this story consider buying me a coffee or check out how to commission me!]

Don’t Wanna Cry

So in honor of the fact that I’m coming back, I’m posting a writing assignment that I had to do in Fiction Writing back when Don’t Wanna Cry just came out. I inspired the piece off of the song, so I thought it’d be nice to post it as an imagine. (I wish I did it sooner)

~ ashley

Member: Hansol/Vernon

Genre: Angst?? It’s pretty sad idk I cried when I wrote this xD

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unearthlydust  asked:

What are your headcanons for David and Walter? :)

OMG… I thought about this for a long time. BUT IT’S JUST GOTTEN SO MUCH WORSE WITH THE INFORMATION THAT YOU POSTED AND I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD. I’ll start with the non-spoiler version.

First off, I believe that Ridley Scott is very interested in the possibilities of AI and I see a lot of the same ideas raised, images used and situations in both Blade Runner and Prometheus. I haven’t seen Aliens. That movie scares me so much and yes it does have to do with the birth horror aspect. I aim to see it eventually. Someday I’ll write an essay about David vs. the Replicants. Or some fanfic about what would happen if David took the Voight-Kampf test. : ) Here we go!

Originally posted by monicahouse

David

1. I don’t think David feels emotion, but he can emote. He understands it and the fact that it can be used as currency with humans, but he’s not going to love someone or hate them. He can use it as a tool to get better treatment, as a way of passively being aggressive, or to carry out his programming. What I mean by the last point is that he obviously uses deception to carry out his experiments by spiking the drink etc, but he doesn’t feel anything bad about doing it because it’s necessary to accomplish his task. I could see him seducing somebody just to see how effective his actions were and how the other person responded (in fact I started a fic like this with a huge twist!). The fact that he can’t experience emotion, but is able to function in society by definition makes him a sociopath. That being said, he’s not inherently evil.

2. Everything that David does with humans is a little experiment–what happens if I do things that make humans feel more comfortable (wearing the suit, eating), what happens when I’m nice, what happens when I lie? And like a little kid, he figures out how to manipulate people pretty fast by using the currency of emotion and behavior.

3. He seems to have been given some sort of programming that allows him to learn things and adapt to certain situations. He was certainly programmed to carry out Weyland’s agenda. And I feel pretty certain that him experimenting on the crew was part of that agenda too. But here’s the thing that nobody thought of–you can’t send something that’s programmed to learn from people out into space for years to live by himself. We’ve all heard of those unethical experiments where babies were deprived of touch. He’s the same way. Not that he would ever become a ‘real boy’ but his development has been stunted. Like maybe he would have come to see the value of empathy and come to question what he was programmed to do. He’s like a kid raised by wolves but instead of wolves it was Lawrence of Arabia and Ancient Aliens.

Originally posted by elviscostello

*By the way, this is quite possibly the saddest quote and thought in this movie.*

4. David’s currency of choice is power. Everything he wants and does is meant to bring him into greater control of the situation and he uses knowledge to gain power. Even at his weakest, he still has the power to get Shaw off the planet.

5. And now the less serious stuff: I could see Jonesy the cat from Alien having ancestors and David being a crazy cat lady who raised space cats. I think he has a dick and could fuck someone if he wanted… mostly because hello SEX IS A GREAT CURRENCY and it means nothing to him but could possibly earn great rewards from his human partner. And he’s watched plenty of porn and wet dreams. I think he needs to be needed because otherwise he has no purpose or anyone to experiment on/with (like when someone asked what would happen when there was no one around to program him). Sensory deprivation would cause him to shut down. He’s obsessed with Lawrence of Arabia because he sees himself as Lawrence using his superior knowledge to win battles over his human masters (IDK if you know anything about the historical figure, but he once used his knowledge of an impending eclipse to frighten an opposing army who, after it happened thought he had magical powers or something. My dad’s probably autistic friend has a creepy Davidesque knowledge of Lawrence of Arabia…). 

Walter

1. I feel like Walter is a Dell computer that you get because it’s really the best you can afford and even after you trick it out with stickers and a kick ass desktop theme it’s… still a Dell. I shouldn’t talk smack. This laptop is a Dell. LOL! He’s the safest model, like a Cricket phone or Leapfrog tablet made for old people or kids. Because with David it became apparent that with advanced programming, he could evolve and people could hack him and program him to suit their needs… Like how Apple feels about people modifying their products so they made it a closed system. (Now here’s another head cannon… David is to Walter what Lore is to Data from Star Trek. I never thought Lore fully felt emotions, but like David, he could emote, where Walter and even Ash couldn’t.) 

Originally posted by arianelabed

2. All of the different types of Walters exist to make him seem more like a machine and less human (like the Replicants) so it seems natural that you’d buy your parents a caretaker Walter, you might get your counseling practice a therapist Walter. I could see the sexbot Walter becoming a huge joke among humans. People on talk shows debate whether it’s a good idea to have manny Walter raise your kids. This leads David to want to objectify humans in a similar manner because he can’t feel anger, but he sure as hell can make them pay.

3. Humans become very attached to him and tell him everything because he appears human enough, but won’t make judgement. Despite his unhackability, people will find ways to install spyware in his system to record this.

4. Walters on Earth end up in this strange new category of sexuality. Because he’s not human is he even a man? You can fuck him, but are you fucking a man? People debate this question and his sexuality becomes something you can change to be more appealing/less threatening.

5. I believe, there are female and male models. Because seriously, some people will be threatened by men and because no matter how far in the future we get, gender roles will still persist. Because I fully intend on cosplaying both David and Walter! And to use the robot analogy, there ain’t no way you can tape down R2-DD2. Lol ; )

Now for the spoilery stuff!!! Mostly speculation.

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sickasallhell  asked:

Ok so first off, I need to tell you how much I fucking LOVE you. I went on your blog a little while ago to send you an ask, and then I got distracted rereading some of your fics, and then I discovered that you're the author of "Difficult," a.k.a one of my FAVORITE SICKFICS (AND FICS IN GENERAL) OF /ALL FUCKING TIME/ AND HOLY SHIT, NOW I'M TWICE AS STARSTRUCK, LOL. YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I'VE REREAD THAT FIC, AND IT'S JUST AS AMAZING EVERY TIME. YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION. (1/2)

(2/2) “SHIT. I FORGOT TO SEND MY LAST ASK ON ANON. Welp. Now you know who your big, awkward fan is, lol. Hi. So anyway, what I initially meant to ask: How would you feel about doing an angsty thing where Keith is really overwhelmed by Shiro being MIA, all the pressure of trying to lead Voltron, and the whole Galra thing, and stresses out so much that he has nightmares, stops sleeping, and gets so run down and sick that he’s vomiting and delirious and everyone freaks out? Idk. Sorry if this sucks. >_<;;” 

i’m so flattered i’m blushing so hard omg! thank you so much, i’m so happy to hear how much you enjoy my writing! 

here’s a little minific for you!

[send me a prompt!]

Keith has no idea what he’s doing.

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anonymous asked:

What's your opinion on season 4?

Anon: i was wondering if any of you has seen the new season? and if so what did you think? (if you dont want to answer thats okay, i was just curious)

ok a couple of things before you read:

1. this obviously contains s4 spoilers!!

2. everything we say is our personal opinion

3. this is the second time ive had to type this all out bc my phone did something weird and deleted it all the first time.. im still salty 

- Karri

ok lets gO (sorry this took so long to post afgh)

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Comfort With You

Pairing: YoungK X Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2,383

Request: Hi there! Can I request for YoungK from Day6 scenario where both of you have been friends for a long time and he’s always had a one-sided crush on you so he tries to confess to you with his cute yet embarrassing ways! (I hope that made sense?? ;_;) Thank youu!! :) <3 -@its-youngk


You could not believe your luck when you felt water hit your head. Rain fell like curtains of water when you were still only halfway from the coffee shop you promised to meet Brian. Even as you started to pick up the pace and ran in your heels with your hand barely covering your hair, you were wet by the time you made it to the entrance.

The coffee shop was cool and dry and smelled nice. You stopped for a minute to brush off the droplets on your clothes before you searched for the familiar face. Brian spotted you and smiled, waving his hand in the air.

“Wow, you look nice,” he laughed, handing you a napkin.

“Thanks,” you breathed, taking the napkin and then a seat. “I didn’t know that it was going to rain today. I didn’t even bring an umbrella.”

Brian pulled out an umbrella for you to see and then placed it back on the seat next to him. “I got you.” He then looked at the food on the table. “I also got you your favorite, iced green mint mocha. And mango ice flakes to share since I thought you’d be a little hungry.”

“That’s why you’re my best friend,” you cheered with a smile before you took a sip of your coffee. “I see you’re having a boring iced Americano, as usual.”

“Hey, I don’t judge your complicated order so don’t judge my simple one,” Brian responded with another laugh.

“You don’t know the true beauty of what coffee’s supposed to be like until you’ve tried it,” you sang, holding out your cup to him. “Try it.”

Brian held his own cup and shook it in front of you. “Only if you try mine.”

You rolled your eyes but switched your cup for his. “Fine.” You observed the drink with only espresso, water and ice. It was less than the things put in the coffee you ordered. Brian watched you as you placed your lips onto his straw and took a sip. You stopped immediately and returned his cup back onto the table with a scowl on your face. “It’s bitter!!”

He gave you a nonchalant shrug and then put his lips on your straw, drinking the caffeine. He also handed you back your drink with an unreadable expression. “Ok, mint in mocha is not right. I can’t even explain its taste.”

Both of you drank your own coffee to rid of the previous taste. Then you reached for a spoon and began to dig into the mango dessert. “Hey,” you said while your attention was on the ice flakes, “we just technically did an indirect kiss, haha. Scandalous.”

Brian started to choke on his drink. Your eyes widened, and you watched him as he patted his chest and then drink some more coffee to stop the coughing. “Oh my gosh, Brian. I was just joking. It’s not a real kiss. Calm down,” you told him.

He tried his best to calm down, but he could barely meet your eyes. When you mentioned how the both of you basically kissed, Brian freaked inside. You took it as a joke, something that best friends do to each other a lot, but it was hard to just brush it off as nothing when he had a crush on you.

You and Brian were friends for a while, and there was not any romantic attraction from either of you at first. The first time a little bit of that attraction showed, Brian took it as a type of attraction that would go away. He then began to notice how attractive you looked, felt nervous every time you two touched and would, and realized how much he talked about you to his friends when you were not with him; he then became aware that he liked you.

He had not told you. You were his friend, and he was not sure how it would change if he confessed to you. He wasn’t even sure if you liked him back. You made it quite hard for him to decipher, but since there were no obvious moves, he took it that it would just be better to keep his feelings to himself.

“Anyway,” you continued, “are you into someone these days?”

“What?” he replied right away, taken aback by the sudden question.

“I don’t know. There’s something about you… I just have a feeling. Call it a best friend instinct if you want,” you said with a shrug. You scooped mango and ate it. Then you placed your spoon down, looking Brian straight in his eyes, squinting. “Is my best friend instinct right, Kang Brian? Don’t lie to me.”

“Uh…”

“You are!” you gasped out loud. “Do I know her? Have you talked to her? Is she pretty? No, wait, that’s not really important. Is she nice to you? What does she do? When did you two meet? What’s her name?”

“Uh… which one do you want me to answer first?” Brian asked with a nervous chuckle. You caught him rubbing the back of his neck. He did that a lot when he was nervous.

“All of them!” you exclaimed.

Brian could not help but smile at how you were itching to know about his crush. If only you knew that you were asking about yourself. He watched your bright eyes as you spoke. “I can’t tell you that easily,” Brian said. “Maybe. How about we finish the ice flakes, and I’ll think about it.”

“Oh, you’re challenging me? Jokes on you because you know that I love mango ice flakes,” you told him as you grabbed your spoon once more with a determined look on your face.

You could barely breathe when you had to stand up. The bowl was empty, and half of your coffee was finished. You lagged behind Brian out of the door. The rain continued to pour. Brian opened his umbrella up, holding it above the both of you. “I’ll walk you home,” he said.

“Oooh, how lovely,” you cooed. “A cute boy walking me home after treating me to coffee. I love it.”

Brian did not know how much longer he could contain his happiness. His phone then buzzed into his pocket. You heard the sound as well and decided to hold onto the umbrella. Your hand was below Brian’s, but you both were still slightly touching. Brian’s heart almost jumped like he did. “I’ll hold it,” you offered. “Answer your message.”

“Thanks,” he said and hurried to reach for his phone to check the message.

Jae: Yo, did you know that (Y/N)’s supposed to be going on a blind date?! Idk when, but I think it’ll be soon. My good friend Brian that I love, you need to tell her that you like her.

Jae: Also… I ate all of the pepperoni off of the pizza you ordered a while ago. Sorry bro. But at least I didn’t eat the rest of your pizza… Wonpil did. DON’T TELL HIM I TOLD YOU

Jae: Good luck w/ (Y/N)!!!

“What’s up?” you asked Brian when you noticed his expression changed from reading the texts. He snapped out of his thoughts and stuck his phone back into his pocket.

“Here, I’ll hold it now,” he said, taking the umbrella from you. He was not sure how to start his conversation next. “Um, hey (Y/N).”

“Yeah?”

“Are you…going on a blind date?”

You tilted your head to the side, and then jumped up as if you remembered something. “Oh yeah! I am. One of my friends arranged the blind date. She said that she thinks I should try getting into a relationship now. I guess you heard it from someone else,” you spoke. It was your turn to laugh nervously. “Are you mad that I didn’t tell you? I was going to, but I just kind of forgot when I was with you.”

He shook his head. “I’m not mad. Just surprised.”

“To be honest, I don’t even think I want to go on the blind date.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think it’ll work out. I don’t know. I shouldn’t judge the date already since it hasn’t even happened yet, but… I just like being in a relationship with someone that I know. Having the foundation of our relationship from being friends first instead of just trying to build a relationship from one date.”

“I understand. I’m the same,” Brian agreed.

You glanced over at him. “Oh. So the girl you like was actually your friend first? That should make things easier for me. Is it it Mijin?”

“No, it’s not her,” Brian chuckled at your attempt. Near the stoplights ahead, Brian found a convenience store. He stopped walking which made you stop. He handed you the umbrella.

“Can you wait just a few minutes for me? I’ll be right back. I just need to buy something first.”

You nodded your head and watched him run into the store. Like he said, a few minutes later, he returned with a bag in his hand. “What’d you buy?” you asked, curious.

“Just something.” He took the umbrella again, and the both of you continued to walk towards your house. With a start of a new topic to talk about, you were not curious about the bag at all.

Before you even knew it, you had arrived in front of your house. The rain became lighter. You turned to Brian. “Thank you for taking me home, best friend. I’ll treat you next time.”

“Actually,” he started which caused you to stop and wait. Brian was not sure what to say. He did not plan what he wanted to say, but knowing that there was a possibility knowing that he could lose you to another from the text he received from Jae, he knew it was best to let you know now. It could go totally wrong. He would be embarrassed. But it was better safe than sorry.

Do I know her? Yes, you do. Have I talked to her? Yes, I have. Is she pretty? No wait, that’s not really important. It might not be, but she is absolutely the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

You slowly realized that he was answering all of the questions that you had asked earlier. He continued to look at you as he answered.

Is she nice to you?” Brian tried to stifle his laughter after that question, but you could still  noticed. “We both exchange teasing remarks at each other sometimes, but it’s our way of showing affection to each other. I’d say she is nice.” Your heart skipped a beat. You had no idea why.

What does she do? As of now, she’s a server at a restaurant.” You worked at a restaurant.

When did you two meet? Hm, it was when we both went to the same school orientation. We ran into each other, but neither of us knew our way around that school though we pretended to in order to try and help the other out.” You couldn’t possibly…

What’s her name?

You held your breath for a bit. Brian watched your reactions and then he sighed. He was not sure whether you finally pieced everything together. Would you run away? Or would you stay?

“(Y/N). Her name is (Y/N), and I’ve liked her for a while now,” he confessed. “I was nervous to say anything at first because I was scared she wouldn’t like me back. But then I heard about her blind date. I didn’t want her to go meet another guy, so I decided to suck it up and tell her how I feel now. Now, I’m not sure what she’s going to say. I can’t tell by the way she’s looking at me.”

You always thought of Brian as your best friend. He was someone you can count on, and someone you could easily talk to about anything. You knew what he was thinking, and you knew his likes and dislikes. You were never able to tell that he had a crush on you though. Hearing it actually come out of his mouth, you were stunned, and your heart was pounding.

You were not sure how the relationship would carry to the next level, but then you thought about your relationship so far. As you said, before you wanted a romantic relationship with someone, you wanted to make sure the foundation of your friendship was strong. Maybe you have meant Brian all that time.

Brian was blushing. You don’t think you have ever seen him blush before. You noticed that it was quiet, but it was because he was waiting on you to speak. “Uh…” you managed. You chose to say exactly how you felt. “I like you, too. More than a friend.”

“Really?!” He sounded so shocked, and you could not help but laugh.

“Yeah, I do,” you confirmed. “All this time, I’ve been wondering who this special girl was, and now that I know it’s me, it feels nice.”

You became curious again when he started to pull something out of the bag from the convenience store. It was a bag of Hershey’s Kisses. You had a feeling you knew who it was for, and you burst out laughing. “I can think of so many cheesy things you might do with this,” you said in between laughter.

“Just play along, (Y/N),” he said, trying to keep his composure and his cheeks from becoming any more red. “Here’s some Kisses for you.” He handed you the bag.

“Aw, thank you,” you said, and you meant it sincerely, too. “Well, I should head back inside now. You should also head home, too.”

“Wait, you forgot one more,” Brian said. You waited. He stepped closer, closing off distance between you two. Then he leaned down and planted a kiss on your cheek. Now, you were surely blushing.

Brian clenched his hands into fist and then started to back away quickly. You could not stop smiling. “There. I gave you your kisses. I’ll see you later! Don’t tell anymore about this!” He rubbed his forehead, laughing. “Okay, that was embarrassing. Bye!”

“Text me later,” you yelled back at him waving, laughing and watching as he turned around and began to run out of your neighborhood.