i think you taste of falling. starlit and hot. something
celestial. something human pretending — we’re really good at that. i want to devour. the essence of being is to eat. black holes in empty space to children born into more empty space, we’re all a testament of devour-ing. ( verb. the act of consuming dangerously. )
teeth ache. i am something out of the
dark in search of a light. for a completion. a contrast. i chose you. you don’t have to choose me back. remember, we’re really good at pretending.
you taste like falling.
i will ask two things of you
first. leave me burning, midnight shrinking inside these bones when you pick yourself up and put your parts back together and head out. see, morning leaves out the worst in me.
i’m too full of everything.
and second. please
leave the flowers. i won’t ask for you. or your light that i will find spilled on the floor, scrapes of midmorning and afternoons. you’re a mess sometimes. but so am i. humans are good at pretending. sometimes, i don’t want to be.
human, that is. or pretending. or good.
sometimes i, just want the flowers. so please, leave them heavy there on the counter. tepid water reminds me of blood. leave their crushed petals, creased and dark with use. i have want of them. i choose you but i want them. i will curl up around them. metaphors of one another. use, misuse. ( flowers don’t grow to be harvested but neither do hearts and i’m trying not to gnaw mine out of my chest for you. ) i will burn, devour, pretend. and maybe the flowers can help with that.
This makes me so sad. The very beginning of the interview and Katie is already SO incredibly uncomfortable. Like closed off body language, even leaning away from most of the cast which is hugely telling. She doesn’t normally sit like that. And that’s not even getting into her expression which I think speaks for itself.
I mentioned yesterday how after the “they’re just friends” she looked uncomfortable, and then when she spoke up only to get shut down and laughed at she looked even more uncomfortable and got really quiet the rest of it.
Katie doesn’t deserve this. She’s so kind and supportive and validating and she deserves so much better than to get shut down and made to feel this way.
I’m glad that Odette seems to be supportive of her, at least, and I think David as well usually. But she’s clearly uncomfortable with the rest of the cast in this clip and it hurts to think about what it would be like to spend so much time filming with the cast now that she knows they’re like this. Especially since I’ve seen a segment from this clip later into it where she tries to stand up again, and addresses the shitty comment Chris made yesterday, and she totally got ignored.