idk if this has been done before

the times my son, harry james potter, was the sass king

  • there’s no need to call me ‘sir’, professor
  • it’s just, you can’t break an unbreakable vow. I’d worked that much out  for myself funnily enough.
  • wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life 
  • whatcha fell ova for? I didn’t do it on purpose
  • the task is two days from now. really? I had no idea 
  • did you think we’d be staying in five-star hotels? finding a horcrux every other day?
  • but I am the chosen one
  • tell them I mean no harm. I’m sorry, professor. but I must not tell lies.
  • listening to the news! again? well, it changes every day, you see
  • yeah, you can have a word. good-bye
  • I know what day it is. well done. so you’ve finally learned the days of the week
  • just do what I did, harry! what, drop my wand?
  • an interview? what do you mean? I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered them
  • It’s time you learned some respect! It’s time you earned it.
  • they stuff people’s heads down toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice? no, thanks. The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick
  • Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?… Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute — in case you get too near a dementor. Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy. then it could catch the Snitch for you.