I really feel there needs to be more compassion for autistic ppl in social justice spaces?
Like some of us have memory issues and can’t remember all the users names of bad people who have done hurtful things?
Like I’ve felt pressurised to abandon si’s in the past cuz they were ‘problematic’ only to find the new thing I was pushed into that was supposed to be better was also 'problematic’ and I wasn’t supposed to like /that/ now- I’m aware that folks probably didn’t have that intention but that’s how it’s felt?
If you don’t feel upset at this thing your bad!!!!’
Like. Not all of us can feel that kinda empathy? I know the thing going on is bad but I don’t get the emotions attached to it? Idk I’m tired of being made to feel bad for that
(I wrote this early idk how much sense this makes)
sometimes you need to accept that yes i may have been a little bit manipulative. yes i worded something in a specific way that would make my friend/fp/SO feel a bit guilty. yes i could have handled that situation in a much better way. yes i am wrong.
what they don’t always tell you about T within informed consent sheets, a better post
since the one going around is filled with blatant misinformation and exaggerated tales of horror to the point that i question whether its intent was good.
the first thing to expect, is that your experience will be unique. there are hundreds of factors to how hormones change your body, and while you will find people with experiences like yours, you will have a different experience. so while this is a general guideline, your experience may be that you don’t experience these things, or that you experience them with intensity. it’s so, so varied. 99% of the stuff they put on informed consent forms is prefaced with ‘YOU MIGHT -’.
regarding the smells, yes! you will smell different! that is a fact. the hormones are different in your body now, you will start to smell more like what you’d expect from people who have similar amounts of testosterone in their bodies. it can be a little weird, but it’s nothing that deodorant (and sometimes cologne, if you want!) won’t cover up and it’s nothing that’s abnormal and it’s nothing that every other human being doesn’t experience. everyone smells! you just happen to smell different than you used to.
when facial hair grows, when hair everywhere else grows, you can get itchy. my face gets itchy, my head gets itchy, especially when it’s hot it can get frustrating, but it’s no cause for panic. some people might get itchier than others, but it’s just something you’ll deal with and it’s not all that bad. you’ll get used to it and think about it less and less as your body situates.
binding, as with any thing you put on your chest, can cause acne! i’ve seen no difference in wearing sport bras and binders in regards to acne, i’m a DD chest, it’s just what happens when you sweat and compress your chest. having some acne between your boobs is normal, having some on your back is normal, just try to leave it alone and take showers (you can take showers without washing your hair every day if that’s an option!), it’ll be okay.
as with, well, puberty, you’re going to have ups and downs of hunger. sometimes i can just never stop eating! sometimes i don’t feel hungry at all. it’s good to keep track of how much you eat generally and try not to overeat, but you might get cravings for more carb-heavy foods because puberty 2 takes a lot of energy for your body! eating more than normal is, well, normal. drinking a lot of water and things like orange juice can help even this out and it will benefit you in a lot of ways (like keeping your immune system healthy).
your clit will probably grow. it can be kind of jarring, but it’s something you get used to, and everyone experiences this one with a WIDE range of difference. some people only get an inch or so in growth (mine is huge now and it’s still so weird but also so cool), some people can have their clit grow to much bigger! some people can feel their boners, some people get morning wood, and you might feel it in your pants and wearing tight underwear might not be the best in that case, try wearing boxers and loose clothes around the house as much as you can, as well as not wearing your binder too much.
voice drops happen so suddenly you won’t even see them coming, but once the first one happens, you can get a feel for it. usually your voice cracks for a couple weeks/months, SUDDENLY gets deeper, levels off, then cracks again, repeat. it can be sudden, and it also creeps up on you. try keeping logs of your voice, you’ll be so shocked at the difference that only a few months can make! also, people around you will notice your voice changes before you do unless you’re constantly going back on old videos.
acne is inevitable. to what degree? totally dependent on the person. genetics and health play a big role. you’ll get acne in places you haven’t before, but eventually it will level out. it’s not going to be forever, you have to keep in mind this is second puberty and puberty means random and weird shit! like unfortunate acne! it will pass. try to ignore it as much as you can.
my period stopped at 4 months in. occasionally, i still get phantom cramps. not for very long usually, but you have to remember that your body has a rhythm, and you’re interrupting that. it’s going to take a while for it to switch gears! talk to your endo/doctor if your pains are excruciating to the point of hospitalization/etc because that can be a sign that something is wrong. also, you usually do blood tests every few months to make sure the hormones are working fine. my periods when i started T ranged from no pain at all and debilitating pain, and i’m someone who previously had extremely painful periods. this gets less common over time!
try not to do any drugs/alcohol before getting your blood tests done. my endocrinologist knows that i do have weed occasionally and so far that hasn’t been a problem but i think drinking is something you should avoid with blood tests coming up for your safety so they don’t report problems that aren’t there. you’re not going to get in trouble for any of this, you just need to tell them.
every person has a different T dose. i take 100 every other week because of various things: my size, my weight, how the hormones already are in my body. i know some people who are on 200, some who are on 50 weekly, it depends on what your PROFESSIONAL DOCTOR thinks is safe for you, and they WILL adjust accordingly if the need arises between both of you. taking more T than you’re prescribed with the intention of getting quicker effects will actually slow the process and make your body produce more estrogen and can hurt you. you don’t want that!
it’s not shameful to set up appointments for your shots or not be able to do them yourself, and if you do them yourself it’s okay to mess it up. believe me, i have. every injection is different, but you get a feel for it and mess up less. they would not let you do it at home if it wasn’t safe enough. just watch videos, know what you’re getting into. getting blood drawn hurts more for me than my T shots. it’s okay that sometimes it takes you forever, or no time at all. T shots are your thing and your experience and your choice on how is the most comfortable for you. most doctors prescribe different injection sites based on what they think is best, all of them work. one person doing it in their leg doesn’t negate that it also works in the ass but if you’re told to do it one way, stick to that or talk it out with your doctor to come up with an alternative! the amount of blood that comes out of the injection site is different with each one, the angle is different, and i would HEAVILY SUGGEST sitting down for a while after a shot. one of my shots, i stood up right after and after about 5 minutes of walking i noticed oil just, coming out of the site and down my leg. it was horrible. gravity is your friend and also your enemy, use it wisely. the level of pain with each shot is different too, and remember that needles are supposed to only be put in something once. if you fuck up an injection and pull out too fast or anything, switch out the needle because if you don’t, the tip is more blunt (you probably won’t be able to tell with your plain eyes) and will hurt much more than the first time. shots are weird, each one is an entirely different beast but you’ll get it down.
T can make you more emotional. REMEMBER - puberty 2! it’s not going to turn you into a raging frothing beast, but if you’re already prone to anger, already prone to frustration, it’s going to happen! i’m prone to getting claustrophobic and stressed out, and T has made that worse, but over time i’ve come to manage it and over time it evens out and i experience it less and less. with hormones comes mood shifts. it’s perfectly reasonable and it’s easier than puberty 1, since you can see it coming and can calm yourself down easier and you know what’s causing it. i get frustrated more easily sometimes, but i sit down, breathe, and know that it’s the hormones, and it makes it SO MUCH easier to deal with.
your genitals in general might get drier. might be the opposite. mine is the latter. my libido is NUTS, it can be weird, but for some people it’s not like that. again, completely dependent on the person. either direction or no change at all, you can expect anything.
your immune system is weaker and your body is putting a lot of energy into these changes. be aware of that, please for the love of all that’s good wash your hands, stay clear of sick people as much as you can, and try to eat and drink healthy, generally. you might catch colds and the colds can turn worse than most, but being hygienic is the best way to prevent any of that.
if you stop T, your periods will come back. some medications can’t work with T like some birth control, and before starting any medication please check in with your doctor before to make sure that it’s safe. use your best judgment and be conscious of your health.
T is not an overnight experience. changes take a long time, some longer than others, and being patient is incredibly important. don’t get frustrated at your body, it’s doing it’s best. you’ll get there, some slower and some faster than others. it’s different for everyone. but you WILL get there if you want to get there.
Like sitting next to him in one of his expensive cars surrounded by buttery soft leather. And getting to watch all of the faces he pulls while concentrating on the road. And when you’re on a long, straight stretch that doesn’t require both hands on the wheel or he’s not fiddling with his bottom lip with that free hand, he’s reaching over to you, taking your hand from your lap so he can hold it. He likes to bring your knuckles to his lips, placing soft kisses with quick glances at you. But his eyes never linger for too long–he does have to watch the road, after all; “M’a safe driver, love.”
And when you’re on long drives or stuck in traffic, you like to sneak pictures of him. Of course, you’re never really sneaky about it because you love the way he gets all grumpy when you do. “Why yeh got to bother me while I’m operatin’ heavy machinery, kitten?” And you pout in response to his assertions that you’re annoying, sticking that bottom lip out that makes him feel some kind of way. So he turns and gives one of those cheesy, eye crinkling smiles, letting you snap a quick pic.
(sorry for the crappy image quality, I’m desktop only. also, the sugar and coffee mixed together, at the bottom. grrr)
soooo, this was my very first spell I made myself, and I’m really glad with how it turned out. I first made it back in December, just before school started back up. I knew I had a hard time with school, so I decided to do something witchy about it! At this point, I was still totally a baby witch, and I’m proud of how I was able to step out of my comfort zone and make a spell jar.
Now, for the spell jar;
Ingredients: Sugar to sweeten the rest of the school year to me and me to school in general Coffee grounds for energy and courage to do better and not slink to the back Cayennepepper to burn away old, bad habits. Cloves toaid in seeking what is sought, good luck, friendship, and keeping negativity at bay Rosemary for success Basil to protect against stress and, again, the courage to be a good student
also, I didn’t do this the first time I made this jar, but bc I had some extra space in the jar, I topped it off with some coarse sea salt, for cleansing and idk what else.
Beforehand, I cleansed the jar. Since I couldn’t find my cleansing spray, I rubbed some hand sanitizer on the jar to cleanse it. Then, I just kind of thought of my intent a lot, and as I was layering the herbs, focusing on what they would each bring me.
The last time I made this jar, it helped me get out of bed easier in the mornings and also go to sleep easier! This time, I’m not sure how it’s manifesting, but it’s only been one night.
Feel free to message, ask or dm, me and tell me how this works out for you! Add feel free to reblog/like to bookmark, and you have my full permission to use and alter as you see fit, just if you post your spell jar anywhere, please link this post/tag me/etc.
I’m tagging @cosmic-witch bc she mentioned that if you posted some original content, to tag her bc she wants to see it, so…yeah.
how to not be an asshole and still maintain your moral standards
because it seems that for a lot of people there’s nothing in-between “I don’t like x thing because it’s bad for x reason and if you disagree then you are evil scum” and “yeah sure do whatever you want!!! give everyone a chance to express their creativity/opinions no matter what!!!!”
1. Know your shit.
One of the easiest things to do is to make yourself look like an idiot because you didn’t bother to look for more information. Before you form your opinion, be sure to rationally look at both sides of an argument and do as much fact-checking you can before you give your input. This goes for anything. Politics, shipping discourse, what have you.
(something to note: not everything works the same in other countries as it does in your country.)
2. If necessary, make a distinction between what is genuinely harmful/derogatory and what upsets you personally.
This is important especially when someone asks you how you feel about a certain subject. There is a difference between Actual Pedophilia and “there is nothing Technically wrong with this ship but the age gap is big enough that the potential for a power-imbalance bothers me greatly, and I want no part of this”.
3. Don’t start shit.
Callout posts, angry messages, and witch hunts. Anon or not, just don’t do it. You might think you’re doing the right thing, but you’re probably just going to make people want to spite you instead of listen. Calling someone names or telling someone to kill themself is shitty.
Also, don’t infest someone’s tag with opinions they don’t want to see. If you feel the need to vent but don’t want to start discourse, use read mores and slashes inbetween words (li//ke thi//s) so that it won’t show up in the tag.
Now, I’m not saying you have to be completely passive about things you don’t like, but there are other things you can do to avoid them, like…..
4. Just block people.
Let me say this again.
JUST. BLOCK. PEOPLE.
Or unfollow them. It’s super easy. One click, and they’re gone.
You’re allowed to have opinions. So are other people. And guess what, you don’t have to look at them. Shocker.
If you’re going to post something and it would make you uncomfortable if people gave it context that you specifically don’t like, say it. State it clearly,and let people know that if they do it anyway, they’ll get blocked.
Think of it this way: if you throw a party and someone shows up and starts doing things and telling jokes etc that make you uncomfortable, what do you do? You don’t invite them to the next party. And if they weren’t invited to begin with, then you take extra precaution to make sure they don’t come again.
Remember, it’s your blog. It’s your party. You’re the host, and yeah you want to make sure your guests are happy, but you can still set boundaries. How much tolerance you have is up to you.
(see also: blacklist. I’ve surprisingly never used it. But it can very easily control what kinds of content you see or don’t see.)
5. Be patient.
If someone is doing something harmful, it’s possible they just don’t know better. People are limited by their life experiences and might not know to think differently because they never knew they could.
People change. What were you like a year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? I highly doubt that you’re proud of everything you’ve said and done in the past. There were jokes I’ve said and things I’ve liked that I would never dream of saying now.
This is why I think it’s so, so important to not immediately condemn someone. People don’t often make complete 180s, so don’t expect them to. People don’t like being told they’re wrong, and might need take some time to sort out their thoughts/unlearn their behavior before substantial change happens. Does this excuse their behavior? No, of course not. Even without ill-intent, people can absolutely still do damage.
6. Know when to speak.
This can go a lot of ways. Certain fights aren’t yours to fight. Don’t talk over anyone else. Admit when you don’t know enough about something to give a proper opinion. Recognize when something isn’t worth the time or energy.
Also: learn to recognize traps. People will try to send “gotchas” disguised as innocent questions. These are usually done with the intent of twisting your words and making you sound problematic no matter your response. Even if you’re not sure, just don’t respond. Avoid confrontation and discourse whenever you can. Resist being petty if you know that it’d just start more drama.
That’s it. I hope y’all can go out and try to be decent people. Have fun. Your internet experience is up to you. You don’t need to make it someone else’s responsibility.
Ummm found Korrasami in chapter 1 of The Weave webcomic?? Maybe just a coincidence but I thought it was cool. Also pls read this as the art style is gorgeous, the story is intriguing, and the characters are beautiful. Also everyone is gay??? (that’s my headcanon at least) But for real so many different kinds of people are woven into the main plot and background of the story it’s really lovely.
like, honestly, maybe i’m being so positive i’m delusional but, to me, that clip can also be interpreted as noora trying to ask sana if she likes yousef
like, this is sana’s pov, and sana is feeling ignored by her friends (for real reasons, i don’t blame her, i think the squad is being shitty too), and she caught noora and yousef talking and immediately felt that that meant they were romantically interested in each other (except that, plot twist: not every boys and girls talking to each other are crushing on each other, just saying).
and now you have noora who, for all we know, might be trying to be like “hey, sanasol, your brother’s friends seemed really nice and charming, do you fancy any one of them maybe? i want to know about you” but sana was hurt and on her guards and saw it as a sign that noora is actually interested in yousef and immediately goes “you don’t want to date him”
so noora is taken aback, obviously. what prompted this? “why not?” what’s happening?
and then sana goes on and on about how muslim boys are no good and don’t want non muslim girls and noora is still a bit taken aback by this sudden change in tone…but she has no chance to clear the misunderstanding sana had about her intentions because sana then changes the topic to willhelm
so yeah, like. idk maybe i’m being too optimistic? but i see everyone freaking out and, honestly, to me, the infos we’ve been given so far do not scream “love triangle”. it’s sana’s biased view of everything that’s going on and, because this is her season, we’re sharing her bias.
DO NOT GIVE ANYONE A SURPRISE HUG IF YOU’RE NOT FRIENDS WHO HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT THAT IS OKAY
If you’re tight with someone that’s one thing but there is literally NO REASON TO TOUCH A STRANGER WITHOUT ASKING
They could have sensory processing disorder, they could have a phobia or trauma involving physical contact, they could be having pain in whatever area of the body you’re about to jab them in, they could, idk, not want to be touched by strangers?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if they get upset or uncomfortable or you put them in pain that is 100% entirely your fault for putting your hands on them without asking.
I don’t care if you’re a “huggy person” I don’t care if you’re kind and well intentioned you could be hurting someone.