Content notes: this thing is a holy mess, some of which is about gender, some of which is about sex/romance, all of which is extremely cishet, because it’s mostly personal narrative time up in here, and I’ve only got the one perspective.
I remember the first time I ever felt like A Girl. I was eighteen.
Okay, no, that’s not quite right. I’m AFAB and cis and until I was out of elementary school I felt entirely like a girl–Girl as opposed to Boy, and I was very much a princesses-and-flowers (and Elizabeth I) girl at that.
But then the primordial soup of puberty cooked and transformed me and everyone I was spending time with, and things changed. I always knew I was A Woman, or at least, I would be, but there was this THING, this thing to Being A Girl, and I wasn’t that. I was a female, a woman. I was just Truffles. But I wasn’t that. I didn’t think I’d ever be that.