the types as things they've all said to me
ENFJ: “yeah i’ve take the personality tests a few times and it can never type me, i always get like 50/50 on each of the things, so i’m really balanced; i’m EXXX” (bitch MORE than 2 of you have said this to me, you are all problematic and project those questions onto yourselves you fake ass hoes)
INFJ: “i should start a psychic business and pretend to take people’s fortunes because i’m so good at this.” (this was said after she guessed that her boyfriend would get a 96 on his philosophy exam after he had gotten a 97 on the last one, and was exactly correct. tl;dr every INFJ is a demon)
ESFJ: “i get to take care of you and treat you until you’re better!” said with real tears in his eyes after i had rolled my ankle and it was the size of an actual softball. he held my hand as he said it.
ISFJ: “i’m trying my best!” said very flusteredly (it’s a word, shut up) after we poked fun at the fact that he was still 4 labs behind on homework. he was also on youtube at the time.
ESTJ: “joe hasn’t answered me and we’re leaving for austria for spring break in TWO months and i need a plan for what we’re going to do the first weekend ASAP or i’m going to literally kill him with my bare hands.”
i have no more context to add to this, yall are literally just the most extra people i’ll ever meet.
ISTJ: “i feel like…” and then you proceeded to lie to me because none of you have felt anything, ever.
ESFP: “what’s happening?! should i talk to him?! should i ignore it and be oblivious?! idk what to do im not an intuitive!” said when i was pissed at everybody and he accidentally got the brunt of my rage. you are all pure and naive and just want to have a good time and i respect that; you do you, boo boo the fools, just keep doing you.
ISFP: “i’m about to make a transatlantic flight to austria to instill the fear of god into every one of those girls playing with joe’s heart over there.” said about her little brother while still in her horse riding gear, in between walking from the dinner table to her laptop to watch sherlock and dr. who. im 100% not joking about this, her name is Mary Duran and she paints on the side too.
ESTP: “well, enough of that.” said moments after crying for two minutes, and seconds before throwing a lawn chair across the yard and breaking a window because he didn’t know how else to process his emotions. @everyESTP, pls get help.
ISTP: “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A FUCKING BLINKER. USE YOUR BLINKER BEFORE I SLIT YOUR THROAT.” (this is literally every time i’m in the car with him, no matter what, no matter how long; tl;dr every one of you shouldn’t drive, ever.)
ENTP: “but was kant really that bad?” said by some hoe in one of my higher level philosophy classes as he introduced us to Irrelevantland™. stick to your memes and stop antagonizing every person you meet you bored ass mfs.
INTP: “the old lady thinks i’m going to fix our neighbor’s AC, which means i have about 45 minutes to get to a town 34 minutes away to see if the guy has one of the car parts i’ve been looking for. it’ll cost about $200-$220, but i gotta take the money out in small increments around town so she doesn’t get suspicious.” said by my best friends dad, in reference to his wife and his unhealthy obsession with fixing up old, unusable cars.
ENTJ: “socrates was probably the dumbest person to ever live, and i wrote an entire 12 page paper on it and got an A.” (i have no more to add to this; you’re all just as bad as the ESTJs and must be stopped.)
INTJ: “that was a good burn. i think i’m going to like you.” said to me after i said something witty and sarcastic to my ENFP best friend. p.s. every INTJ has an XNFP best friend, it’s just a fact, accept it).
ENFP: “hey remember how you’ve been telling me for the past three months that im overcommitting myself and doing too many things? well today after my seventeenth breakdown of the semester so far, i realized that you might be right.” (said by my best friend. not much else to add to this, really; you’re all insane.)
INFP: “my friend brought me a puppy between classes today and it was only the second of four times i cried today.”