I either feel numb, like I can’t comprehend my existence and I’m not real to myself, or I feel everything too deeply, and I can hear heartbeats erupting from the ground beneath me. Why is it so much harder to see good than to see all the things you’ve learned to hate, looking in the mirror and for a second you think maybe it might not be all that bad. And then it is. It’s kind of like when you say a word over and over again, sometimes you don’t feel like a person anymore. Maybe you’d be better off if you didn’t exist. There are too many young souls without a home and there are too many things to see and places to go. You end up hiding from even yourself, until you get so far down that there’s no hope to even look anymore.