idk how much she can play but i'm glad she's better!

The Reds, the Blues, and the Freelancers: Playing Overwatch

The Reds: 

Sarge: A Soldier 76 main who’s shockingly good with his biotic field. (He’s won gold on healing with a Mercy on his team before, and he’ll never stop being smug about it.) Has recorded every single play of the game he’s ever had and has uploaded them to Youtube. If asked to switch to healer, he will switch to  Reinhardt. This makes sense to no one but him. He might die knocking Wash off the cliff, but it’s worth it every time.

Simmons: Used to be a Torbjorn main (a really good one too) but people were rude to him about it, so now he plays as D.va and likes it. Occasionally gets emotional about Genji (CYBORGS) and will play as him but he’s awful at it and so generally just keeps playing D.va. He’s actually really dangerous even outside of the mecha. Occasionally he accidentally turns voice chat on and it’s just endless screaming.

Donut: Plays as Tracer and is a menace to society as her. He’s really hard to kill. Wash is the only one who ever can catch him, so Donut will always put his pulse bomb on Wash, even if there are better targets available. Has really great aim and can do a hell of a lot of damage. Has the absolute best skins for every single character, even the ones he never plays as.

Grif: Zenyatta main since day 1, has played basically no other character since. (HE DOESN’T HAVE TO WALK). Killed Tucker just by kicking one time and is still proud of it. He seems pretty chill but he still will discord your ass into eternity. Actually streams all of his stuff and is pretty popular in certain circles because of his biting commentary, which includes speculation about everyone on the other team’s lives and lots of insults about the Blues.

Lopez: Reaper main. Tries to play on different servers than everyone else to avoid being sucked into their shenanigans. They always find him. Takes way too much joy dropping from out of nowhere on the Blues and Death Blossoming. Calls everyone names over voicechat in Spanish, no one ever reports him because they never realize what he’s doing.

+ Carolina bc she’s totally a Red

Carolina: Started out as a Soldier 76 main, because she finds his mechanics rather straightforward and likes the biotic field and sprint function. On a whim tries out Lucio, and falls right in love. SPEED BOOST. She’s super good at wall-riding, like to memetic levels, her streams are ridiculously popular. She’s also the least-chill support player you’ve ever played with, even on quick-play. She’s always exactly one rank below Tex. It drives her nuts.


The Blues

Tex: A pretty versatile attack main, although she does love playing as Zarya, and will switch if they need a tank. She likes playing as Pharrah (that’s who she plays as normally bc she loves the rocket launcher and flying is fun), Sombra (INVISIBILITY. She’s not actually all that good as Sombra though), and Reaper (what no she doesn’t relate to him being brought back to life against his will what are you talking about stop looking at her like that.) The chill-est attack main you’ve ever met on competitive, especially given how high ranked she is. Until someone kills her mid-ult for the third time in a row then it’s “okay you guys guard the payload I NEED TO TAKE HIM DOWN!” (“Tex, you should switch if you’re going to do that.” “NO TIME!”)

Wash: Can and will play just about every character under the sun. But when he gets to choose, he’s an amazing McCree. Sends the Reds all scrambling for cover whenever he Ults. Once played Widowmaker for three months straight to stop Church from being able to pick her, at Tucker’s request. Uses the “group up” and “attack the objective” buttons a bit too much. Actually tries to strategize over the voice chat. Doesn’t realize that they’ve muted him until halfway through the game.  

Tucker: Loves playing as Lucio. Doesn’t wall-ride as much as Carolina, but he’s a better healer than her. Will emote in the middle of combat, which makes Wash scream. Has Lucio’s “why are you so angry?” voice line and spams it whenever Church does anything.

Church: The worst Widowmaker ever. Of all time. After Tucker gets Wash to be Widowmaker for a few months, Church learns to play as Junkrat. And then gets really good at it. (No aiming! Causing people to scream whenever he ults! A vague mad-scientist vibe!) That’s about when Blue Team starts winning matches.

Caboose: Picks according to who’s his favorite that day. He’s usually a Bastion, a Winston, a Tracer, or a Zenyatta.  He’s terrifyingly good at all of them. He always says “hello” to the other team. Always spams the both team chat with smilie faces and encouragement.

Kai: Plays as Mei. Only traps them in the spawn room when Church pisses her off, which is at least once a day. Will always go after Grif first and foremost, which has led to some bumpy games and Wash yelling at her but then she lays down a blizzard at just the right moment and they win because of it and Wash can’t say anything else.


The Freelancers: 

York: Symmetra’s his character of choice, but he’ll really play any of the supports if they need a healer. Tends to pick which one he plays as depending on his team. (He and Tex are a good Mercy/Pharah combo.) Whenever he plays as Ana he makes terrible eye puns, which is annoying bc he’s not that good of an Ana at that. Someone stop him.

North: He’s a Hanzo player and at first he’s really good to have on your team. Then you realize he never will be somewhere you can heal him, but he’s still spamming the “need healing” button. Then you realize that he’s way more concerned with getting play of the game than actually winning. Eventually you start to hate him. But he always says “GG” at the end of the game.

South: Genji main. Huge fan of “one-player mode”. Does not know what the payload looks like. Is really good at sneaking up to the point and murdering everyone on it though. Does not understand the concept of staying near the healer either, but at least is usually a good sport about not spamming the heal button.

Maine: Plays as Roadhog, which everyone expected, but will switch to Mercy if they need a healer. He’s a badass Mercy. He’s gotten a team-kill as Mercy before. Communicates with his team only in emoticons on the chat.

Connie: Actively refused to play until Sombra was introduced, is a terrifying Sombra main now. All the health packs are hers. You literally never know what she is. You think you got away with low health but BAM she’s found you and you are dead. She coordinates her EMP with Tex’s ults perfectly. She has every single Sombra skin and she’s proud of it.

Wyoming: The Widowmaker dreams are made of. He goes to his healers. He always gets his shot. His venom-traps are perfectly placed. Yes he tells god-awful jokes over voice chat and occasionally laughs way too much when he head-shots that Pharah mid barrage for the third time that game but you know what you’re glad to have him on your team. Will also play Ana if a healer is needed.

Florida: Officially, he doesn’t play. Unofficially, they’re pretty sure that the enemy Mercy who always shows up to do a full team res when they’re just about to win is him.

anonymous asked:

Why don't you like Harry Potter?

I could reply ‘because it’s not a given that anyone would like it’ but if we want to be specific (SORRY ANYONE WHO LIKES IT TAKE IT AS MY PERSONAL OPINION):

  • I tend to not care about things where the protagonists are teenagers and in high school (asoiaf is the exception and the teenagers/children aren’t all of it and they’re not in high school) in general and HP is basically that except with magic
  • I am absolutely not into **magic** stuff when we’re discussing fantasy - I like lotr and asoiaf and discworld (which is satire/trope subversion anyway) and I have other exceptions but stuff like WIZARDS AND WITCHES AND STUFF is one of the things that I can care less as far as fiction is concerned
  • I find it really too simplistic in plot conception and execution, like I read maybe a bit of it and I couldn’t get into the style whatsoever because I thought it was nothing special
  • I watched like movie four and a part of two and I fell asleep during both for how little I could care
  • there is like one damned gray character in those books/films - ONE - and I’ve been hearing discourse about whether he’s GOOD OR BAD since I was in middle school
  • I’ve been withstanding snape discourse since middle school excuse me if I can’t stand it anymore
  • my friends back in the day couldn’t talk about literally anything else so if you didn’t care you either were uncool or you just had to listen to them harping about it when I was just like CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE
  • they also proceeded to spoil me the entire thing at least for the main stuff so why the hell would I be interested if I already know everything and excuse me it sounds like the least interesting chosen hero story in existence to me at least
  • (no honestly harry is such a Chosen Hero trope in all the worst ways like sorry I really don’t care)
  • I’ve read/seen so much shit with the same moral which was better written and conceived that I’m nowhere near interested in getting into that, too
  • I really don’t care about wizards under the age of eighteen (and over the age of eighteen it’s… a very selected choice)
  • I can’t stand that this fandom is so entitled that they got eight movies, one play, the books, THE PREQUELS, I don’t even know how fucking much extra canon and so on and THEY HAVE TO KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT EVERY OTHER MOMENT and the play was shitty, and the prequels are cash grab and the movies sucked and HERMIONE’S DRESS WAS PINK AND NOT BLUE AND THAT WAS A PLOT POINT THAT I HAD TO SEE DISCUSSED FOR ANOTHER THREE YEARS LIKE WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE WHAT HERMIONE’S DRESS LOOKS LIKE, never mind that y’all have such a large fandom you can find virtually any pairing or ship or kink in it but of course I only see wanking about stuff when my favorite fantasy series is a perpetual yuletide fave, my otp has twenty fics half of which are tied to me somehow and got one shitty movie after years which sucked ass but of course AFTER EIGHT MOVIES THE PROBLEM IS *HERMIONE’S DRESS*
  • the harry/hermione vs ron/hermione shipwar that people still can’t let go about wanted to make me go murder people back when I had to read discourse about it oN LIVEJOURNAL, ON TUMBLR, ON FB AND IRL at the same time
  • the fucking snape discourse
  • the fact that people can’t seem to tag their posts with hp assuming that everyone likes it so I had to blacklist that, snape, hermione and idk how many characters just to make sure that shit wasn’t on my dash anymore and I still see it
  • once I said that I wasn’t gonna read it anyway because if I did I’d only care for some of the adults and I knew they were gonna die since everyone spoiled it for me already and then someone had the disgrace to say ‘if you liked theon in asoiaf you’d probably like snape as a character’ and I had to go through four hours of anon wanking about SNAPE DISCOURSE when I didn’t even know how to reply and my experience with this fandom is ALWAYS like that
  • I find it utterly boring and predictable and I can’t care less

also: let’s get it out of the way that I watched fantastic beasts with friends who dragged me and I didn’t dislike it actually I thought it was cute and GUESS WHY IT WAS BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS AN ADULT AND DIDN’T GO TO SCHOOL and it was touching somehow more serious themes than your usual trite YA stuff that the original is, and obviously the fandom is so full with discourse I’d never even touch it with a ten foot pole but it also shows people can’t seem to read/interpret anything related to HP in a sane way and without realizing that IT’S NOT ALL BLACK AND WHITE GDI, same as apparently they can’t let go of the fact that they have to put poor snape in one specific box instead of admitting that assholes can do good things for a good cause without meaning they aren’t assholes and be fucking done with it already. I also have no ill will towards poor jkr who has decent political views and only made money out of doing what she liked but which I have a feeling is a way better adult writer than YA writer but she never will have the chance to because if she gets out of the HP sphere no one cares about what she produces and/or doesn’t get it (guys I had to read there wasn’t racism talk in FB when it was set in the US like what did you think wizards not being able to marry normal humans was standing for).

but tldr: I find it a bunch of YA re-heated tropes put together in a way that can work for kids and was very smartly put together but is not really greatly written and does not work for me and I can’t give less of a fuck about the original series especially about teenager protagonists, the fandom is the incarnation of walking discourse, I hate that everyone seems to assume that you have to like HP and that it’s impossible that you might actually not give a fuck, I hate that I’ve had to hear HP discourse/talk since I was nine years old ie for the previous twenty years of my life, I hate that I can’t seem to escape idiotic discourse even if I try to get it out of my way and ah I forgot, I can’t anymore with people fighting bloody battles over freaking hogwarts houses and ah wait again I hate how in any small fandom in existence you won’t find a lot of things but THE HOGWARTS AU HAS TO BE THERE and if you don’t care for it you’ll have to read it anyway while being bored out of your mind because you really just don’t care for that setting.

ah, and I’m sick tired of having to justify the fact that I don’t like HP to about everyone I know irl because apparently it’s impossible that I can, you know, not like something that everyone else likes.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

again: I don’t mind discussing it on my terms and with people I know who also know I’m not interested in reading or watching it, but I’m really sick tired of seeing it everywhere after twenty years of telling everyone I don’t care. I mean. twenty years. I’m glad people enjoy it and I’m glad it got people into books and I absolutely don’t want to tell people they shouldn’t enjoy it because I can’t get into it - it’s their childhood and their favorite series and I’m sure it was great for them same as the stuff I liked was good for me - but it doesn’t mean I actually have to like it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I like you, theoretically

Pairing: Jikook

Genre: fluff crack FLUFF FLUFF

Word count: 2.2k

Description: Jungkook’s little cousin loves to embarrass him and definitely knows more than she should.

A/N: Well this turned out much longer than expected. Thanks for requesting, anon <3 enjoy~ brb dying from Jikook feels


Jungkook is sure that all the little kids in the world are out to get him. Sure, his little cousin, Jinah, seemed all cute and sweet, but Jungkook was sure that it was all an act. She probably had something up her sleeve.

So when he was forced to babysit her for the day, he knew that probably meant bad luck for him.

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Ashton Irwin: New Beginnings

Requested by @5sosaresquirrels: ‘So Y/N was like barely 19 or 20 when her best friend or sister dies after she gives birth to her baby. Y/N was listed as the person she wanted to be the new guardian, but everyone was iffy at first since she was so young. But she refuses to give her to anyone else, and excepts the fact that she’ll be her parent. So maybe along like a year or two she is really protective, and doesn’t really get out much, since she is reserved. But one day she meets one of the guys ( maybe Luke or Ashton, but it doesn’t matter :)) and they start to get close and have feelings for each other, but she is not sure what to say about her kid, and If she should actually date him? I’m sorry this is so confusing, I just needed to get this whole idea off my chest :)’

Warnings: None!

A/N: I accidentally deleted this draft somehow so I had to retype this all again! I used Ashton and Y/N’s best friend in this. I kinda changed this a little tiny bit, enjoy x

Request for part 2 maybe? idk

Keep reading